Girl Walking Backwards

by Bett Williams

Skye wants what all teenagers want--to survive high school. She lives in Southern California, though, which is making that difficult. Her mother has fallen victim to the pseudo-New Age culture and insists on dragging her to consciousness-raising workshops and hypnotists. As if this weren't difficult enough, Skye falls in love with Jessica, a troubled gothic punk girl who cuts herself regularly with sharp objects. When she finds her boyfriend having sex with Jessica in a bathroom stall at a rave, her romantic illusions collapse and she has to face the fact that she's been running away from her mother's insanity. Right when things look their worst though, Skye is helped by Mol, a pagan who becomes her true friend, and Lorri, a graceful volelyball player with whom she finds real love. From them she learns how to feel authentic emotions in a culture of poseurs and New Age charlatans. In this anti-coming-of-age novel, where growing up is irrelevant, this is the best gift of all.

Genres: LGBT, Young Adult, Fiction, Queer, Lesbian, Romance, Coming Of Age

264 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 1998

Reviews

[Andy Gavin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is rather brilliant, but isn't for everybody. In my review of Lost It (CLICK HERE), I had inquired if anyone knew any YA that was racy, and this was recommended. It's written in a breezy first-person past with a kind of stream-of-consciousness lightweight quality that made me have to look to make sure it wasn't persent tense. The prose is very very good -- fitting the material perfectly.

Skye is a fifteen-year-old growing up in Santa Barbara, and she's basically raising herself. Her mother is a self-help seminar junkie and all-around new age psychotic, her dad (divorced) lives in LA where he directs films and has sex with pretty production assistants. Neither seem to think about her at all. She has a boy friend, sort of, but wants a girlfriend. She drinks and does drugs, but she isn't a bad girl.

Somehow this character rang very true for me, and the voice is intensely personal and likable. Even the hare-brained situations seem very real, and like Less than Zero the substance abuse and self destructive behavior believable. The voice effortlessly shifts with the state of mind -- often altered -- and does a first class job conveying that. For some, this might be a hard book to read, particularly if one were right-wing, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Bret Easton Ellis's above mentioned masterpiece feels like watching a train wreck. While Girl Walking Backwards doesn't have the terrifying "all rashed and looks dry and I can see that it's been shaved" moment, and is ultimately transcendant.

Finally, his is a book that is very candid about sexuality.

Not only do we have various incidents of masturbation, near sex, and actual sex, but they aren't even the focus. This isn't gratuitous, it's just frank. This isn't about a girl becoming a lesbian, or coming out. It's about a girl trying to find her footing in a world without foundations.

[D'Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have liked this better if there had been more hand washing in it. A lot more hand washing.

[Susanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do not waste your time with this book. To quote another reviewer on goodreads, "this book is like 'meh meh meh, i'm a lesbian, i feel things'" and is non-stop whining from cover to cover. The plot is whine whine whine, do some drugs, whine whine whine, get drunk, whine whine whine, fight with mommy, whine whine whine. Whine. It was obvious that we were supposed to be able to see through Jessica and her pseudo-deepness, but the problem was that all the stuff that was supposed to actually mean something was total bullshit and just as poserish as anything Jessica said. I kept reading to see if it got any better, but take my advice and just stick to reading the back, since it tells you the whole plot anyway.

[Bex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was looking for queer YA Lit, when I stumbled upon this book. As the Amazon reviews say, one of the strengths of this book is that coming out isn't the focus. I love a good coming out story as much as the next lesbian, but it's always nice to see the person behind the sexuality, and that's something we don't get very often right now. :crosses fingers: Hero by Perry Moore accomplished something similar to this book, but it happened in an extraordinary setting. I appreciate how raw the emotions are in this book, and while it was not my experience growing up, hardships like the ones in this book do occur.

The main character, Skye, is a strong young woman. She's not positioned to be strong - her parents are divorced, her mom is clinically -somethingl-, and her parents used to do drugs (and have her participate when she was a child - but she rises above. The only thing that seems to drag her down is obsession with a troubled girl from school, Jessica, who has a fragile psyche and a disinterest in being a good friend.

Another fascinating aspect of the book is Skye's relationship with her boyfriend (yes, she has one), but he knows that she would rather be with a woman. They don't have sex, in the "traditional" sense of the word, but there's love and hope in both of them.

All in all, I think the book is good for young people who are dealing with the hardship of trying to be themselves and are struggling with their identities (no matter which aspect). This book is not just for queer teens. It's a cautionary tale, it's a romance, and it's part of the high school experience. So give it a shot.

Lastly, I read this book in one night. It is easily devourable if you have an insatiable appetite.

[Amelia Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book strongly reminded me of "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson, and I mean that as the sincerest type of compliment, because I love her writing. I really loved the LGBTQ issues presented in this book, and would definitely recommend it. However, it did deal with some very adult issues and had some explicit sex scenes as well as depictions of drug use, so if those things bother you, don't read it. But if not, don't skip it, this book has a strong, unique voice (just like it's protagonist!) which will stick with you long after the last page has been turned.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

The blurb pretty much tells the entire story, but Girl Walking Backwards is about Skye, a gay teenage girl navigating her last few months of high school. But it’s easier said than done when her crazy mother is forcing her to attend New Age consciousness-raising workshops and the like by threatening to not let her attend college. Also, she insists that Skye is only pretending to be gay as a way of acting out. Then Skye meets and falls in love with Jessica, a deeply troubled girl who is probably straight and has serious problems regarding self-mutilation. Things only get worse when she catches Jessica having oral sex with her boyfriend at a rave, and she must look for authentic relationships to get through it all.

Skye is an intriguing protagonist. Her narrative voice is subtle and unique and honest. One of the best things about her, in my opinion, is how abnormally normal she is. Female protagonists are rarely allowed to be dirty, but Skye easily describes her sweaty armpits, her greasy face, her period, even her masturbation.

Speaking of masturbation, this book has heavy themes of sexuality, and not just in terms of sexual orientation. Many, many scenes contain explicit masturbation or sex. At first the description of a sex-crazed, probably pedophilic Planned Parenthood educator is kind of funny, and the scenes of Skye and her boyfriend help characterize their relationship, but eventually it all becomes too much. After a while, the constant sex/masturbation doesn’t seem to have any purpose. The scenes aren’t erotic or anything, they’re just there. There are also heavy themes of sexual abuse, pedophilia, and molestation. I can’t believe this book is considered YA. I mean, I’m a teenager and I could handle it, but it really is adult content.

Another problem is the lack of development in Skye’s romantic relationship with Lorri. As friends, their relationship is pretty solid, but the romance comes out of nowhere. Of course, it’s obvious that Lorri is Skye’s real love interest, but they barely spend any time together and spend even less talking before they get together and, of course, have sex. Also, Lorri, like most of the supporting characters, is seriously underdeveloped.

There was also a lot of drug use. I’m not sure how common it is for teenagers to do crystal meth or coke, but I’m pretty sure that a disproportionate amount do in this novel. And if they aren’t doing meth, they’re at least smoking joints, sometimes with their parents. Skye also talks about how hard she partied in junior high, like, getting shitfaced drunk, which seems crazy unrealistic.

The main issue, though, is that most of the plot lines are never tied up. I guess this can be seen as a stylistic choice, but it comes off as sloppy. Only the subplot of Skye finding genuine love has a real conclusion. Does Skye’s mother get better or stop being abusive? What happens to Jessica? How does Skye do on her English essay? (Yes, that is a plot line.) These are only some of the questions the reader is left with.

I really feel like I’m missing something with Girl Walking Backwards. Is there a reason to abundance of sex and sex-related themes? Is the open-ended conclusion actually good? Is this book a literary feat so advanced that I’m not even aware of its complexities, or is it just poorly written? I’m so confused.

In the end, I would like to say that this book is better than it is. I really, really enjoyed reading from Skye’s perspective, but the actual plot of the book just couldn’t stand up to the narration. If you are considering reading Girl Walking Backwards, know these things: It is hardly a romance. It has a lot of sex and masturbation. It has a lot of sexual abuse. It has a lot of drug use. It has a lot of graphic self harm. It has an inconclusive conclusion. If none of these faze you, then you might enjoy this book. But in general, I can’t recommend it.

[Spider the Doof Warrior · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I like about this book is the fragility of the main character as she deals with her sexuality and the people who surround her. Her mother is unstable and is obsessed with these expensive seminars. I hope things like this don't exist. They cost thousands and consist of being yelled at. She drags her daughter along. Her daughter didn't expect her vegetarian, new agey mother to go crazy over her being gay.

Poor Skye is stuck with hippie dippie parents I want to smack for being so irresponsible. Her father could care less about her. He'd rather party and make movies than be with his daughter more. Is it any wonder she clings to Jessica who is mentally unstable and lost?

This book is well written, but it makes me wonder if it's worth telling kids not to do drugs, drink or have sex if they will do it anyway. But is there a way to tell them to be responsible about sex? To not use drugs and alcohol as social lubricates and glue so even sex can't be done without a drink or two?

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this from Amazon, in search of a great coming of age young adult fiction. It definitely wasn't great. The characters are so unlikable, dirty, and very, very white. I imagine goth tweenies, filty and stinky, having sex with each other and passing on STD's. Another thing I disliked, was the fact that all the lesbian sexual encounters involved drugs or alcohol. This book was really disappointing.

[Lindsey Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Girl Walking Backwards is a coming of age story about a girl named Skye trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in this world. In California in the late 1990s, Skye is like any other teenage girl. She attends school where she plays volleyball with her friend Lorri and regularly hangs out with her boyfriend Riley. Riley and her have a routine of hanging out together almost every day, they eat quesadillas and watch movies. She has many struggles though, she has no idea what she wants to do with her life and can’t seem to figure out her sexuality. She knows she likes girls, which complicates things for her later when she meets a girl named Jessica. She also has an insane mother that is obsessed with new age pseudo science and wellness workshops. Skye is always fed up the crazy things he mother does and says and wants to escape to somewhere else as much as she can.

I really liked the book even though it’s hard to follow at some points, it’s not predictable at all. The whole book is as unorganized as Skye’s thoughts that she shares about her life. One of my favorite quotes was when Skye said, “The moments before sleeping have always been my favorite time. I go between worlds” (Williams 59). I relate to that a lot, I love the time right before I fall asleep when the world is quite and I have all my thoughts to myself. All the things she talked about were very relatable to me and I liked how weird some of her thoughts were, it made me feel like i’m not alone in thinking about certain things. Although the book seems dated, it had a lot of commonalities with current times. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I related to it. This book really made me think about the meaning of life and the reasoning behind why we’re all here. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster full of unanswered questions but I loved every second of it.

As relatable as this book was to me, it’s not for everyone. There was a few places where I was confused or the authors thoughts felt forced. If you want to think deeply about life though, I would recommend this book to you.

[Kaylin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped reading.

[Clara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I searched "LGBTQ+ literature" and stumbled across this gem of a novel :)

This book is good, but if you're a cynic-- stop. Do not pick up this book. You will not like the main character, the plot, and the writing style.

Okay. So. My favorite novels are The Catcher in the Rye, Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. In other words, I am an angsty teen, and I fully recognize that. Why am I clarifying this? Well, this book is ANGSTY. As in, every other line is introspection/internal sobbing/actual sobbing/oh woe is me!/escapism/i need to find someone who understands me/philosophy/psychology/unrequited love/yougetit. Even though I'm someone who can relate to the main character's emotional conflict, I admit that, at times, it gets a bit ridiculous.

Other than the excessive angst (which I, personally, like), the book is solid. At times, it will take unnecessary turns and seem without purpose, but I suggest that you let the author take you where she will. You'll be pleasantly surprised at where you end up. She has a lovely way of writing (very expressive, yet very matter-of-fact), and almost every single character is well-developed. Some are stereotypical (hollywood dad who has no time for child, insane mom who is in some sort of cult), but many defy stereotypes and are real and human.

The relationship between Skye and Jessica was one of my favorite aspects of the novel. Jessica is a tragic moonchild who sees the world in a way that isolates her from society. Skye is desperate for her affections and, despite her own lucidity, will do anything to garner Jessica's love.
In general, the relationships Skye forms and breaks are genuine and heartbreaking and deep.
In essence, this book is deep. Like, really deep. It's no Morgan Matson or Cassandra Clare. It delves into the human mind and the emotions no one wants to feel but unfortunately does.
Exact rating: 3.75

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a love-hate book to read. Much more love than hate though. Skye, the main character, is told over and over again that something is wrong with her, because she likes girls. The one saying this is her mother, with whom a lot is wrong. She is great for the story, but I learned to loathe her for how she treats Skye.

Throughout the book I had this impression that almost everybody was drifting, and we experience all this from Skye's point of view. She is the one who is fighting her insecurities and confusion, and who actually has a real plan for her life. Once that became clear to me, she was among the very few not drifting. Others, like Jessica, or Skye's mom prove unable to cope with life the more the story continues. At the same time I thought that the more it becomes clear to Skye how to get through all this, the more painful it was to see how she was kind of dragged down by others.

I did not like the rather slow development of the plot in the first half of the book (that's the hate-part), and seriously considered subtracting a star because of it. Obviously, I did not, because all in all it worked for me, and I liked the book too much to give only four stars.

Girl Walking Backwards is a great book for YA, maybe around the age 15 and up due to the topics that you'll find in it. There are a few scenes describing sexual activities, though this is negligible. Topics that I found harder to read about are dealing with drug abuse, emotional and sexual abuse, and cutting. None of this is dealt with in an inappropriate way I think, and they are topics that young adults do have to deal with these days. Girl Walking Backwards is a book that shows a lot of what life can be like for some, without ever being schoolmasterly. At the same time it offers a lot food for thought. 5 out of 5 stars

[meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

hmmm, strange one. I liked this book well enough. But.
It was a slow slog for me, took me ages to read. So obviously it wasn't *that* great.
I think it was this: Bett Williams writes realllllly well. Beautifully even. But the storyline & characters were a bit petty, disguised as heavy.
Well, I suppose the issues were in a sense heavy, if you are a young adult reading this nice piece of young adult fiction.
If you're a grown woman who likes young adult fic and decide to give this book a go, you get a tad fed up at the wah-wah-wah, woe-is-me-, I'm-in-love-with-this-pretentious-alterna-teen-despite-knowing-her-for-five-minutes thing.

I found the mother-daughter relationship far more interesting than any of the homosexual coming of age, out of the closet schtuff. It was a bit heartbreaking to see the young Skye deal with the emotional abuse from her mother, and the general insanity of the household she inhabited.

Anyhoo. Nuff said. It was a decent read, but I reckon would be quite great if you were young, say, in high school.
:)

[Trysten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Girl Walking Backwards: A Novel
Author: Bett Williams

Despite the negative reviews I've come across on this book, I found it to be a delightful read. I suppose you could call it an acquired taste. If you're an avid reader of many types, don't mind more of a raw over-tone, like the ladies; then I think you'll enjoy this piece of writing. It's more than a coming out story considering the main character really doesn't care who knows. The fact that she has to deal with a mother who is a bit of a new-age nut job takes it's toll. Experimenting with girls of different breeds leads her to a decent individual.

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is trash. I highly recommend that you don't read it. I am just giving my opinions to many drugs and nothing makes sense. Why the heck does she eat grass who does that? Someone is not telling the truth about these relationships so don't read it please unless you like books that don't make any kind of sense. Thank you for your time have a good day :)

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is something sort of refreshing about this book: the high-school social structures seem somewhat less rigid here, and the teens themselves seem more autonomous. I was really rooting for the protagonist, who, despite having parents who have sort of checked-out, is tender-hearted and wise.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt and enthralling story - I felt more like an observer than a reader and the characters had so much depth. To have a story involving sexuality that doesn't focus on 'coming out' is very refreshing. I've already read Girl Walking Backwards several times and know that I'll read it again.

[kates · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not every book is a masterpiece, and this is one that isn't brilliant, but is an enjoyable, casual read. There isn't enough homo YA fic in the world, so this fills a niche quite nicely.

[Madeleine · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book is like "meh meh meh, i'm a lesbian, i feel things". but some parts were fine.

[Satisha]

i got this book as a gift when i was about 14 or so and now at 23 this is still my all time favorite book

[Postal Dude · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I started reading this book I was not expecting much of it, because people made harsh reviews about it, overstressing the poor decision making of the main character, her emotional fragility and drug and alcohol abuse.
However the story is actually about the effects of a dysfunctional parents over the lives of their childrens. Or of the effects of a dysfunctional family over the lives of their members.
Our FMC problems has their origins rooted on the sudden collapse of the marriage of her hippie parents. Her mother went deep mentally ill after that. All of it has its consequences in the life of a teenage girl, and that's what the book is about. During the story we meet another girl, that is super cool on the surface, but deeply troubled as you know her better.We find later that she was sexually abused by her brother with the implicit compliance of her parents. She shows classical signs of rape victims: sexual promiscuity, suicidal tendencies and mood swings.
Maybe people that didn't like this book is because it shows a too realistic portrait of the consequences of dysfunctional families in real life. It doesn't create strong people that advocates to brilliant causes: it actually creates dysfunctional people.

[Tabatha · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has a lot of triggering dark moments. It did bring me back to the 90s in a familiar type of way. The story flow is good and consistent, howrver sometimes it just feels like life where too much is happening. In the end it felt like there was no sort of resolution. The main character had no great epiphany. The story just stopped. Nothing was resolved. At one point the "girl walking backward" just dissolved from the story. I felt disappointed in the end. I was hoping for a better ending.

[Ceh131973 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why do we always fall for the wrong girl? Probably because we do not know any better. That is what most of this book is about. Skye is a typical teenage character who is surrounded by typical teenage characters. The plot is typical but still good. This wasn't a blow me out of the water type book but it was definately readable.

[Lian · Rating 2 out of 5]

dude every character in this book was annoying and it seemed like the author was trying to be hyper edgy in like a skins on bath salts kind of way. only reason i gave it more than one star is because it was gay

[Lily Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

My grandmother bought this book for me when I was in high school. I believe it was her way of showing me she accepted me & was in my 'coming of age' journey with me.

One of the best books for teenagers, imo. Heavily relatable & accurate. 🧡

[Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

it was the best book in the world!

[Allie Hayden-Gill · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nope. I'm cool with sex in books, lez or hetero. However, masturbating while your best friend jerks off not once, but many times in a lesbian book? Nope.

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

I vaguely remember reading this book but I mostly remember going to see the author read from the book because I thought there might be cute girls at the reading.

[Julia Segre · Rating 2 out of 5]

A tough one to rate, but honestly nothing about this book was compelling. I got recommended by a friend, and I'm disappointed by how bland the story was and just aCK it was a blur.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book as a misfit teenager, and I love it still 20 years later.