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Killing Karoline
Born Karoline King in 1980 in Johannesburg South Africa, Sara-Jayne (as she will later be called by her adoptive parents) is the result of an affair, illegal under apartheid’s Immorality Act, between a white British woman and a black South African man. Her story reveals the shocking lie created to cover up the forbidden relationship and the hurried overseas adoption of the illegitimate baby, born during one of history’s most inhumane and destructive regimes. Killing Karoline follows the journey of the baby girl who is raised in a leafy, middle-class corner of the South of England by a white couple. Plagued by questions surrounding her own identity and unable to ‘fit in’ Sara-Jayne begins to turn on herself. She eventually returns to South Africa, after 26 years, to face her demons. There she is forced to face issues of identity, race, rejection and belonging beyond that which she could ever have imagined. She must also face her birth family, who in turn must confront what happens when the baby you kill off at a mere six weeks old returns from the dead.
200 pages, Paperback
Published July 2, 2018
28 people are currently reading
746 people want to read
About the author
Sara-Jayne King
1 book17 followersSara-Jayne King is a South African/British, author, journalist and broadcaster. She has an LL.B degree and a Master’s in Journalism. Sara-Jayne hosts her own radio show on Cape Talk in Cape Town, South Africa. Killing Karoline, is her first published memoir, she is working on her second. She currently lives in Cape Town.
"Born Karoline King in 1980 in Johannesburg South Africa, Sara-Jayne (as she will later be called by her adoptive parents) is the result of an affair, illegal under apartheid’s Immorality Act, between a white British woman and a black South African man.
Her story reveals the shocking lie created to cover up the forbidden relationship, and the hurried overseas adoption of the illegitimate baby, born during one of history’s most inhumane and destructive regimes."
"Born Karoline King in 1980 in Johannesburg South Africa, Sara-Jayne (as she will later be called by her adoptive parents) is the result of an affair, illegal under apartheid’s Immorality Act, between a white British woman and a black South African man.
Her story reveals the shocking lie created to cover up the forbidden relationship, and the hurried overseas adoption of the illegitimate baby, born during one of history’s most inhumane and destructive regimes."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
March 2, 2019
Like Trevor Noah, Baby Karoline was "born a crime." In her case, she was the result of an affair between a white woman and a black man in apartheid-era South Africa, when "illicit carnal intercourse" between the two race groups was punishable by law.
Instead of risking imprisonment, and the baby being sent to live in a 'Coloured' children's home, the birth mother and her husband - to whom she confesses her infidelity once it becomes clear the child is not genetically his - arrange for Karoline to be placed for adoption in England. They concoct a story that she has a rare disease which requires specialised treatment only available at a specific children's hospital in London. When they return to SA, without her, they tell everyone that she died in the UK. Meanwhile, Baby Karoline is adopted by a white couple who already have a mixed race adopted son. They change her name to Sarah Jane.
SJ's childhood in rural England is, for the most part, pretty idyllic. But when she is 10, and her brother 13, her parents split up, and her father starts dating, then moves in with, the family's cleaning lady, who shares a first name with Sarah Jane. When she is 11, SJ changes the spelling of her name to Sara-Jayne. (And eventually her adopted surname Kirk back to her original surname at birth, King.)
When he is 15, SJ's brother runs away from home. Shortly thereafter he puts himself into voluntary care, and ends up in a children's home in South London. Around this time SJ starts cutting. She takes her first overdose when she is 13. Her father writes her a letter telling her she is an attention seeker, and she never sees him again.
At the age of 14, SJ discovers a letter written to her by her birth mother, hidden away by her adoptive mother. The letter chronicles the events leading up to the birth of SJ and the reasons why she was placed for adoption.
At 18, SJ moves out of her mother's home and in with a 30-year-old divorcé. Shortly thereafter she receives news that her brother has committed suicide. He was just 22. Her father doesn't attend the funeral.
When she is 21, and with her adoptive mother's blessing, SJ goes in search of and makes contact with her birth mother. But the encounter does not go according to plan, and SJ is left with more questions than answers.
In the years that follow, SJ completes a law degree, followed by a masters degree in journalism. She also develops an eating disorder. When she moves over to Dubai for work, she develops an alcohol addiction. A year later, at the age of 26, she leaves the desert for a rehab centre in South Africa, the land of her birth. It is here that she finally seems to find a sense of belonging, helped in part by meeting her younger maternal half-brother, and various extended family members.
There are certain parts of the story that, as a fellow adoptee, really struck a nerve. SJ's brother's suicide was particularly distressing for me. "Statistics show that adopted people are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees." - Keyes, et al., Pediatrics online, Sept. 9, 2013. Had this broken soul received the professional help he so clearly needed when he started acting out as a teenager, things could've turned out very differently. I believe the system failed him.
I was also outraged by the social worker's refusal to "deliver any further presents or written communication to Sarah or her parents" beyond SJ's first birthday, telling her birth mother that "there can be no benefit to anyone if attempts to continue this tenuous contact are maintained through the years ahead." In my opinion, this social worker failed not only SJ, but her birth mother AND her adoptive mother, the latter of whom had to help SJ glue back together the pieces of her shattered soul in the decades that followed.
Arguably the most gut-wrenching part of the book is the birth mother's response to her daughter, her own flesh and blood, when SJ initiates contact as an adult. So cold-hearted! What a missed opportunity for redemption!
This is a poignant story, written in elegant, evocative prose. The book definitely has one of the most powerful titles and blurbs I've come across in a long time, and I love the full colour photo section. Sara-Jayne ought to be extremely proud of the beautiful, accomplished woman she has become, despite the barrage of personal challenges she has had to face. My only complaint was not learning more about her birth father, & hearing his side of the story. Otherwise, a stunning read.
Instead of risking imprisonment, and the baby being sent to live in a 'Coloured' children's home, the birth mother and her husband - to whom she confesses her infidelity once it becomes clear the child is not genetically his - arrange for Karoline to be placed for adoption in England. They concoct a story that she has a rare disease which requires specialised treatment only available at a specific children's hospital in London. When they return to SA, without her, they tell everyone that she died in the UK. Meanwhile, Baby Karoline is adopted by a white couple who already have a mixed race adopted son. They change her name to Sarah Jane.
SJ's childhood in rural England is, for the most part, pretty idyllic. But when she is 10, and her brother 13, her parents split up, and her father starts dating, then moves in with, the family's cleaning lady, who shares a first name with Sarah Jane. When she is 11, SJ changes the spelling of her name to Sara-Jayne. (And eventually her adopted surname Kirk back to her original surname at birth, King.)
When he is 15, SJ's brother runs away from home. Shortly thereafter he puts himself into voluntary care, and ends up in a children's home in South London. Around this time SJ starts cutting. She takes her first overdose when she is 13. Her father writes her a letter telling her she is an attention seeker, and she never sees him again.
At the age of 14, SJ discovers a letter written to her by her birth mother, hidden away by her adoptive mother. The letter chronicles the events leading up to the birth of SJ and the reasons why she was placed for adoption.
At 18, SJ moves out of her mother's home and in with a 30-year-old divorcé. Shortly thereafter she receives news that her brother has committed suicide. He was just 22. Her father doesn't attend the funeral.
When she is 21, and with her adoptive mother's blessing, SJ goes in search of and makes contact with her birth mother. But the encounter does not go according to plan, and SJ is left with more questions than answers.
In the years that follow, SJ completes a law degree, followed by a masters degree in journalism. She also develops an eating disorder. When she moves over to Dubai for work, she develops an alcohol addiction. A year later, at the age of 26, she leaves the desert for a rehab centre in South Africa, the land of her birth. It is here that she finally seems to find a sense of belonging, helped in part by meeting her younger maternal half-brother, and various extended family members.
There are certain parts of the story that, as a fellow adoptee, really struck a nerve. SJ's brother's suicide was particularly distressing for me. "Statistics show that adopted people are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees." - Keyes, et al., Pediatrics online, Sept. 9, 2013. Had this broken soul received the professional help he so clearly needed when he started acting out as a teenager, things could've turned out very differently. I believe the system failed him.
I was also outraged by the social worker's refusal to "deliver any further presents or written communication to Sarah or her parents" beyond SJ's first birthday, telling her birth mother that "there can be no benefit to anyone if attempts to continue this tenuous contact are maintained through the years ahead." In my opinion, this social worker failed not only SJ, but her birth mother AND her adoptive mother, the latter of whom had to help SJ glue back together the pieces of her shattered soul in the decades that followed.
Arguably the most gut-wrenching part of the book is the birth mother's response to her daughter, her own flesh and blood, when SJ initiates contact as an adult. So cold-hearted! What a missed opportunity for redemption!
This is a poignant story, written in elegant, evocative prose. The book definitely has one of the most powerful titles and blurbs I've come across in a long time, and I love the full colour photo section. Sara-Jayne ought to be extremely proud of the beautiful, accomplished woman she has become, despite the barrage of personal challenges she has had to face. My only complaint was not learning more about her birth father, & hearing his side of the story. Otherwise, a stunning read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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September 15, 2017I don't usually read a lot of memoir, fiction being my passion. But this story is unimaginable enough to feed my fiction brain. Baby Karoline (now Sara-Jayne) was born to a white mother and a black father back when that was illegal here (ffs!!!). At seven weeks her mom took her to London for medical reasons (that was her story), gave her up for adoption, then came back home and claimed baby Karoline had died. Now Sara-Jayne is finally back home, and this is the story of her journey so far.
September 17, 2022
This is one story about identity that we should all read. Adoption. Adoptees. Abandonment issues. Secrets. Not being acknowledged. Acceptance. Rejection. fear of setting roots. Feeling like a drifter. Loving like a drifter. Self-loathing. Unable to accept love. Unable to trust. Unable to give love. Wanting longing. "Karoline became Sara-Jayne. Sara-Jayne wanted to be Karoline".
"Killing Karoline" is delivered in a beatific evocative prose. Sara-Jayne doesnt hold back on the use of strong language, some words are so quintessentially English that her British upbringing cannot be ignored nor hidden. Sara-Jayne narrated her story in the infinitive giving her story "an outside looking in" sense. I wonder if her not giving this narrative a tense is metaphoric.
I wished that I had read this copy off my kindle. I had highlighted so many parts which I had wanted to share, which will give you not only glimpse into this beautiful writing, but also into Sara-Jayne's constant state of not being good enough for anything, seeking acceptence, hiding her true self and always striving to be perfect for others:
"Mostly, my memories of my dad are linked to once feeling good enough".
"That little mongrel taught me how crucial it was never to let anyone know you were feeling scared or sad or lonely".
"I like the idea of wearing a uniform and looking like everyone else".
"I just try to keep my head down and blend in as much as possible".
And towards the end how she struggled with Alex because Alex "was the one Kris and Ken didn't give away", "I need to be acceptable in order to be accepted". How she morphed into a different person when in Alex's company to appear less black, less threatening to the family dynamics, more sensitive towards Alex because he wasn't told that he had a sister and most of all, a coloured one.
Georgia and Brett easily accepted Sarah-Jayne into their fold maybe because they themselves, being Alex's half-siblings, were never fully accepted by him and felt a kin-ship towards Sara-Jayne.
Apartheid was a vile and disruptive system. Institutionally and systematically destroyed families, lives, and segregated a people according to racial lines ensuring that black people deal with the generational psychological damage that ALL we would ever do, for centuries, is work on our negative self-fulfilling prophercies instead of building wealth creating legacies for our children's children.
My favourite quote from this memoir is "...I realise it is time for her to go. It is time to be again and forever". I read this as a struggling teenager, as a young woman battling to fit in a world promoting whiteness and as mother raising a toddler, a teenager and a young woman.
A beautiful story if triumph in the face of great personal adversity. Peace to you Sara-Jayne. You are brave.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important",
"The Help", Catherine Stockett
"Killing Karoline" is delivered in a beatific evocative prose. Sara-Jayne doesnt hold back on the use of strong language, some words are so quintessentially English that her British upbringing cannot be ignored nor hidden. Sara-Jayne narrated her story in the infinitive giving her story "an outside looking in" sense. I wonder if her not giving this narrative a tense is metaphoric.
I wished that I had read this copy off my kindle. I had highlighted so many parts which I had wanted to share, which will give you not only glimpse into this beautiful writing, but also into Sara-Jayne's constant state of not being good enough for anything, seeking acceptence, hiding her true self and always striving to be perfect for others:
"Mostly, my memories of my dad are linked to once feeling good enough".
"That little mongrel taught me how crucial it was never to let anyone know you were feeling scared or sad or lonely".
"I like the idea of wearing a uniform and looking like everyone else".
"I just try to keep my head down and blend in as much as possible".
And towards the end how she struggled with Alex because Alex "was the one Kris and Ken didn't give away", "I need to be acceptable in order to be accepted". How she morphed into a different person when in Alex's company to appear less black, less threatening to the family dynamics, more sensitive towards Alex because he wasn't told that he had a sister and most of all, a coloured one.
Georgia and Brett easily accepted Sarah-Jayne into their fold maybe because they themselves, being Alex's half-siblings, were never fully accepted by him and felt a kin-ship towards Sara-Jayne.
Apartheid was a vile and disruptive system. Institutionally and systematically destroyed families, lives, and segregated a people according to racial lines ensuring that black people deal with the generational psychological damage that ALL we would ever do, for centuries, is work on our negative self-fulfilling prophercies instead of building wealth creating legacies for our children's children.
My favourite quote from this memoir is "...I realise it is time for her to go. It is time to be again and forever". I read this as a struggling teenager, as a young woman battling to fit in a world promoting whiteness and as mother raising a toddler, a teenager and a young woman.
A beautiful story if triumph in the face of great personal adversity. Peace to you Sara-Jayne. You are brave.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important",
"The Help", Catherine Stockett
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December 10, 2017– There are moments in the short years we are given when that which we may once have considered the riskiest path of all becomes the surest ground on which we can walk. –
– Adoption, I have found...creates gaps for assumptions, false imaginings and, ultimately, disappointments. –
– This is what happens to a person when they destroy themselves. They have to believe their own lies because to face the truth will kill them. –
– With every new day I'm in South Africa I'm ambushed by troubling realisations of the way things are here. I had no idea it was still so ... bad. . . I'm met by a land still undeniably divided along colour lines, nowhere close to rebalancing its glaring inequalities. –
– I am a sister ... but with conditions. –
August 4, 2018
This should have been a much better book. The author knows how to write but linear narrative of her life robs the book of any passion. In the beginning when she is writing about her childhood it is difficult to understand whether she is telling her story in the child's voice or as an adult looking back. At the end of her story her adoptive mother does not feature at all and there must have been some discussions about her moving back to South Africa? The move itself is not really explored past the fact that she packed her pink suitcase. Overall it is a surperficial retelling of some dramatic events in her and her families' lives. I would have loved to have heard about her biological dad who she did eventually met and has a relationship with. This book does need some editing, if it had we would not have been told that Georia's sign said Welcome home, Sisi Sara when in the photo included in the book it clearly says Welcome home, Sisi SJK.
October 8, 2019
Loved everything about this book and adore Sara-Jayne's writing.
October 17, 2018
I liked this book. It was gently paced. Very personal and intimate. I found the story of Sara-Jayne's adoption and the historical context thereof really heart wrenching, and the story of her family life and young years vividly articulated. I, however, felt that the book began to meander and wind in the last third. It didn't read as cohesively as it had in the first two thirds and lost its way for me. The last few chapters were difficult to get through as I didn't quite see how they fitted into the whole. I suppose, as the title of the book states, this was about Killing Karoline and finding Sara-Jayne, and so that involved all the various aspects of this long process for the author. But I must say that I went away with a few unresolved questions and some information I wasn't sure I really needed from the book.
February 4, 2018
Adoption has the spotlight of happy endings, brave people with big hearts and giving couples to become families. That my be true but the light should be more on the children. Killing Karoline a little girl born out of a crime given up for adoption in secret, and for family and friends dead.
Karoline now Sara-Jayne takes you with her on journey of finding herself, who she really is, through all the ups and the deep downs.
Lots of detail that might scare people (the reader) but there is nothing more scary than having to out who you really are.
A journey of determination, disappointments, joy and hurt. I loved the book as it is written easy and so human. You quickly befriend the young girl and grow with her till the end.
Karoline now Sara-Jayne takes you with her on journey of finding herself, who she really is, through all the ups and the deep downs.
Lots of detail that might scare people (the reader) but there is nothing more scary than having to out who you really are.
A journey of determination, disappointments, joy and hurt. I loved the book as it is written easy and so human. You quickly befriend the young girl and grow with her till the end.
September 21, 2018
A very real story that needs to be read by all who need to understand the life of adoptees! A gripping story of triumph over adversity. A journey of self-discovery and survival against 'false death', rejection, abandonment, failure and so many of life's tests.
August 21, 2022
Before diving into Sara-Jayne Makwala King’s new book Mad Bad Love, I read this first - it came out a while back. And I’m so glad I did!
At the #MadBadLove book launch in Cape Town, her publisher Melinda Ferguson said something to the effect of the value of a book that is so open about emotions and wounds is that it allows the reader to then get in touch with their own emotions and wounds. (She said it much more eloquently, I wish I’d written it down right away.) And I think that’s one of the reasons I love memoirs so much, particularly memoirs of brave, complex, strong women. I mean, just read this brief excerpt:
“I am transient because I cannot settle. I cannot settle because I know I do not belong. When I try to plant roots, the soil is either too hard to crack or crawling with parasites that drain all of the good from my foundations. All I want is to make peace with a place and build my spirit’s house there, a haven for my weary soul, but every time I announce ‘I am home!’ and release my shoulders and kick off my vagabond shoes, the ground begins to shift underfoot, the zephyr of life becomes a hurricane and I find myself folding and packing and loading again.”
Wow, right? The author writes candidly about her adoption - opening my eyes to an alternative to the “How lucky were you? You must be so grateful” narrative I’ve had in my head about that for so long. (I remember as a little girl wishing there was a way I could be my father’s child but not my mother’s. I remember daydreaming about adoption - how misguided that was, I can now see.)
SJ’s writing is beautiful - I simply couldn’t wait and am already a few chapters into Mad Bad Love. And yes, it’s about mad, bad love, and about love and motherhood and addiction and the messiness that is the human experience.
At the #MadBadLove book launch in Cape Town, her publisher Melinda Ferguson said something to the effect of the value of a book that is so open about emotions and wounds is that it allows the reader to then get in touch with their own emotions and wounds. (She said it much more eloquently, I wish I’d written it down right away.) And I think that’s one of the reasons I love memoirs so much, particularly memoirs of brave, complex, strong women. I mean, just read this brief excerpt:
“I am transient because I cannot settle. I cannot settle because I know I do not belong. When I try to plant roots, the soil is either too hard to crack or crawling with parasites that drain all of the good from my foundations. All I want is to make peace with a place and build my spirit’s house there, a haven for my weary soul, but every time I announce ‘I am home!’ and release my shoulders and kick off my vagabond shoes, the ground begins to shift underfoot, the zephyr of life becomes a hurricane and I find myself folding and packing and loading again.”
Wow, right? The author writes candidly about her adoption - opening my eyes to an alternative to the “How lucky were you? You must be so grateful” narrative I’ve had in my head about that for so long. (I remember as a little girl wishing there was a way I could be my father’s child but not my mother’s. I remember daydreaming about adoption - how misguided that was, I can now see.)
SJ’s writing is beautiful - I simply couldn’t wait and am already a few chapters into Mad Bad Love. And yes, it’s about mad, bad love, and about love and motherhood and addiction and the messiness that is the human experience.
November 28, 2021
This was a truly eye-opening read. I had never thought much about adoption other than failing to comprehend the tragedy of a mother forced to give up her baby. That Sara-Jayne's mother did so unnecessarily - or so it seems to me, as there were other options available to her - is incomprehensible. I found out about the book after listening to the author's show on Cape Talk when she interviewed a psychotherapist. I didn't know that adopted children were more likely to become addicts, more likely to take their own lives, more likely to end up in jail. It's a topic that should be more widely acknowledged and discussed. It's a shortish book - I finished it in a few hours - and easy to ready. It is refreshingly frank and honest. There is a lot it leaves out but it was a story focused on how SJK became SJK and how she found her way out of addiction and self-harming. It's a story full of hope and will be particularly interesting for adoptees and adoptive parents - but it's a book everyone should read. I shall never think of adoption in the same way again. My only gripe - a result of many years of of editing and writing and perhaps not that serious - is that this book could have been better edited. It really irritated me that the editor had not noticed the incorrect use of "Adam and I" etc. as objects, not subjects (please, we don't say "he told I"), and the ubiquitous unnecessary apostrophe in "its" as a possessive pronoun. But perhaps I am a particularly pernickety reader. Overall, though, this was a powerful book about survival and resilience.
September 18, 2022
The story is overwhelmingly sad - a difficult adoption narrative, set in tragic and uniquely South African circumstances. I mean, it is heartbreaking. It’s also very brave of the author to write a book like this. It can’t be easy to put oneself out there in that manner.
Having said that, I though this memoir was quite superficial and simplistic. Her adopted brother becomes an alcoholic? That’s because his biological mom was one. Yes, addiction has a genetic component, but we’re way past genetic determinism in the modern understanding of addiction. I’m surprised the author did not explore that.
Then there are many oversimplifications in her own story. While adoption unavoidably starts with a terrible loss, birth mother separation trauma and rejection, I had a feeling the author blamed all her life trajectory on the fact of being adopted itself rather than her set of life circumstances. To me her adoptive parents seemed equally problematic as her biological parents. Her adoptive father abandoned her and her adoptive brother. How’s that for another massive trauma to add to the mix? It doesn’t get explored at all, like many other things. The reader is just given labels (toxic/fucked-up relationships) or tiny morsels of information (an eating disorder, after pill/pregnancy) instead of actual stories.
Lastly, the book is just not well written and lacked proper editing. The narrative voice is confusing, jumping between the author’s child self and her adult self, none of which seems distinct as presented.
Having said that, I though this memoir was quite superficial and simplistic. Her adopted brother becomes an alcoholic? That’s because his biological mom was one. Yes, addiction has a genetic component, but we’re way past genetic determinism in the modern understanding of addiction. I’m surprised the author did not explore that.
Then there are many oversimplifications in her own story. While adoption unavoidably starts with a terrible loss, birth mother separation trauma and rejection, I had a feeling the author blamed all her life trajectory on the fact of being adopted itself rather than her set of life circumstances. To me her adoptive parents seemed equally problematic as her biological parents. Her adoptive father abandoned her and her adoptive brother. How’s that for another massive trauma to add to the mix? It doesn’t get explored at all, like many other things. The reader is just given labels (toxic/fucked-up relationships) or tiny morsels of information (an eating disorder, after pill/pregnancy) instead of actual stories.
Lastly, the book is just not well written and lacked proper editing. The narrative voice is confusing, jumping between the author’s child self and her adult self, none of which seems distinct as presented.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 4, 2018
The buried baby turns out to be alive…
I loved this memoir and think it is a must-read for all South Africans in particular. In fact, it's a story for anyone who is interested in the choices human beings make along their journeys. All choices have consequences, but some people simply live in denial and never take responsibility for the wounds they inflict on others.
Sara-Jayne King writes beautifully and she leads us through her story with skill and restraint. I raged and cried not only for Karoline but also for our beloved country (South Africa) and the unbearable pain we carry inside all of us. King resolves her heart-wrenching story with great courage and insight. This multi-layered account of her life is powerful on every level.
I couldn't put the book down and read through the night. Weeks have gone by since I finished it and I am still furious and incredibly sad that this tragedy actually happened. Any compassion I may have had for Karoline’s biological mother was quickly swept away by the raw truth of her unbelievably selfish decision. Thank goodness for the Earth Angels, who step up and spread their wings. King’s adoptive mum certainly falls into that category!
Killing Karoline is going to my book club this month, with a note about having tissues ready. I needed a whole box!
Gigi
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
I loved this memoir and think it is a must-read for all South Africans in particular. In fact, it's a story for anyone who is interested in the choices human beings make along their journeys. All choices have consequences, but some people simply live in denial and never take responsibility for the wounds they inflict on others.
Sara-Jayne King writes beautifully and she leads us through her story with skill and restraint. I raged and cried not only for Karoline but also for our beloved country (South Africa) and the unbearable pain we carry inside all of us. King resolves her heart-wrenching story with great courage and insight. This multi-layered account of her life is powerful on every level.
I couldn't put the book down and read through the night. Weeks have gone by since I finished it and I am still furious and incredibly sad that this tragedy actually happened. Any compassion I may have had for Karoline’s biological mother was quickly swept away by the raw truth of her unbelievably selfish decision. Thank goodness for the Earth Angels, who step up and spread their wings. King’s adoptive mum certainly falls into that category!
Killing Karoline is going to my book club this month, with a note about having tissues ready. I needed a whole box!
Gigi
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
October 5, 2017
Killing Karoline by Sara-Jayne King
Ok, so I’m not sure if I enjoyed this book! It definitely had its up and downs. It is very well written as the author is a clever young lady, she has a degree in law and a masters in journalism
Born Karoline King in 1980 in Johannesburg South Africa, Sara-Jayne (as she will later be called by her adoptive parents) is the result of an affair, illegal under apartheid’s Immorality Act, between a white British woman and her black South African employee. Sara-Jayne's childhood started off idyllic but became increasingly difficult and fraught
I won’t tell you more as it will spoil the story for you. I must admit I skimmed in a few places as her descriptions of what she did to herself were a bit harrowing and a little too descriptive for me.
Her story is tragic and heartbreaking but Sara-Jayne is a true warrior. No child should have to go through what she went through, not ever. She is a survivor and is back home in South Africa. This is the story of her journey so far. 4 Stars
Ok, so I’m not sure if I enjoyed this book! It definitely had its up and downs. It is very well written as the author is a clever young lady, she has a degree in law and a masters in journalism
Born Karoline King in 1980 in Johannesburg South Africa, Sara-Jayne (as she will later be called by her adoptive parents) is the result of an affair, illegal under apartheid’s Immorality Act, between a white British woman and her black South African employee. Sara-Jayne's childhood started off idyllic but became increasingly difficult and fraught
I won’t tell you more as it will spoil the story for you. I must admit I skimmed in a few places as her descriptions of what she did to herself were a bit harrowing and a little too descriptive for me.
Her story is tragic and heartbreaking but Sara-Jayne is a true warrior. No child should have to go through what she went through, not ever. She is a survivor and is back home in South Africa. This is the story of her journey so far. 4 Stars
June 13, 2019
I read this book shortly after its first release and have gifted it to close friends so that they could see adoption differently from how it is portrayed in the media. And hopefully gain an understanding of how complex it is for the adoptee.
The book is written beautifully and even now I can picture some of the scenes because she wrote of them so eloquently.
From an adoption perspective, it is a must read for all parents adopting (not only transracially) as it is written by a voice, the adoptees vioice, which is often sidelined when adoption is discussed and unfortunately dismissed when the tone and direction is not what is expected from the general public.
It is also worth reading to gain an insight into how apartheid (and similar laws) have torn families apart and continue to even with SA having more than 2 decades of independence.
I don’t know SJ personally but her story is a celebration of resilience and determination. And getting up despite being knocked down over and over again.
The book is written beautifully and even now I can picture some of the scenes because she wrote of them so eloquently.
From an adoption perspective, it is a must read for all parents adopting (not only transracially) as it is written by a voice, the adoptees vioice, which is often sidelined when adoption is discussed and unfortunately dismissed when the tone and direction is not what is expected from the general public.
It is also worth reading to gain an insight into how apartheid (and similar laws) have torn families apart and continue to even with SA having more than 2 decades of independence.
I don’t know SJ personally but her story is a celebration of resilience and determination. And getting up despite being knocked down over and over again.
November 20, 2017
What a brilliant story. Karoline/ Sara-Jayne is a young lady whose story bears testament to the age old adage- sins of the father. We follow her on a tumultuous journey of self doubt, anger, addiction, self loathing and all in all the absolutely gut wrenching journey to find her history, her DNA. Her white mother who is impregnated by a black man (her beau) in pre ‘94 South Africa, travels to England to have infant Karoline adopted by an English couple. She is raised to know that she is adopted. All is well, except she grows up & being a colored child of English parents brings its own drama, secrets, rejection and pain. A roller coaster of emotions, politics & secrets. I came to the realization that the birth & naming ceremonies practiced in all cultures in whatever form, are precisely to make sure you belong; you are of a great people. We all need that golden thread that ties you to your ancestral birth right.
February 18, 2025
Echoes of Apartheid: A Story that Needed to be Told
I could not put this book down. While I have a deep understanding of apartheid, having grown up during its darkest days, this story provided profound insights into the lasting impact of that era on ordinary citizens. Sara-Jayne King’s journey—born into a world that denied her existence, hidden by a mother who returned home with a lie, and raised in a foreign land—lays bare the deep scars of apartheid that stretch across generations.
Her storytelling is raw, honest, and deeply moving. She does not shy away from the pain, confusion, and search for identity that shaped her life. The way she shares HER truth is both courageous and necessary. Well done to Sara-Jayne King for this powerful memoir. This is a must-read for anyone wanting to truly understand the personal cost of South Africa’s past.
I could not put this book down. While I have a deep understanding of apartheid, having grown up during its darkest days, this story provided profound insights into the lasting impact of that era on ordinary citizens. Sara-Jayne King’s journey—born into a world that denied her existence, hidden by a mother who returned home with a lie, and raised in a foreign land—lays bare the deep scars of apartheid that stretch across generations.
Her storytelling is raw, honest, and deeply moving. She does not shy away from the pain, confusion, and search for identity that shaped her life. The way she shares HER truth is both courageous and necessary. Well done to Sara-Jayne King for this powerful memoir. This is a must-read for anyone wanting to truly understand the personal cost of South Africa’s past.
October 22, 2017
It's a quick and easy read, and, because it's "true", you find you're interested. I skimmed it rather, because there are too many specifics about Sara-Jayne's own life that aren't particularly engaging. Every now and then, though, there's a phrase that makes you laugh out loud, eg: "The most exciting things I let into my mouth are Marlboro Lights ... and my new boyfriend's enormous Jamaican cock." But right there, you see, is one of the quibbles I have with the book. I put that ellipsis in there to skip some extraneous detail: yes, it's accurate, and yes, it's explaining how a student can afford an expensive brand of cigarette but to me it's too much information. You don't really need to know.
March 17, 2019
Motherhood is not for me, because what if – like heart disease and haemophila – the ability to abandon one’s own children’s hereditary? It’s not a risk I’m prepared to take.’ — @thisissjking
This is a poignantly beautiful book. Wow. I am in awe. Sara-Jayne delicates recounts her story of being given away as an infant because of the heinous system of apartheid. She’s raised in England by her adopted white parents. She recounts stories of loss, identity, mental illness, rejection, searching for home and returning back to South Africa. Her story resonates. A must read. A definite @cheekynatives recommendation
Here is a conversation about the book with the author
https://soundcloud.com/user-404664175...
This is a poignantly beautiful book. Wow. I am in awe. Sara-Jayne delicates recounts her story of being given away as an infant because of the heinous system of apartheid. She’s raised in England by her adopted white parents. She recounts stories of loss, identity, mental illness, rejection, searching for home and returning back to South Africa. Her story resonates. A must read. A definite @cheekynatives recommendation
Here is a conversation about the book with the author
https://soundcloud.com/user-404664175...
January 12, 2025
“Killing Karoline” is a deeply moving memoir that I absolutely loved. The storytelling was raw and beautiful, and it drew me in completely, allowing me to connect with Sarah’s journey on an emotional level.
Her narrative is not only a recounting of events but also an exploration of the complex layers of her personal experiences, making it a truly gripping read.
Although the memoir was very emotional, it was this depth of feeling that made it so impactful. I loved how Sarah portrayed vulnerability and strength, and her storytelling left a lasting impression on me.
Her narrative is not only a recounting of events but also an exploration of the complex layers of her personal experiences, making it a truly gripping read.
Although the memoir was very emotional, it was this depth of feeling that made it so impactful. I loved how Sarah portrayed vulnerability and strength, and her storytelling left a lasting impression on me.
February 11, 2019
Sarah Jayne is amazing! Her beautiful and emotionally written book had me at every page. The book details her life as Karoline and later a ls Sarah. A baby born in South Africa under apartheid She is taken out of SA and adopted by white parents. Her maternal parents have to pretend she has died. Sarah grows up knowing she is different and determined to find her place in the world and to find some answers about her past.
July 10, 2018
Heart-breaking, especially as Karoline's birth-mother had at least one other option (a very good one) which she could have chosen - I fail to feel any sympathy for her. Her daughter suffered so much trauma as a result of her decision. I do, however, feel extremely sorry for the mother who adopted her. I pray that she has found some comfort in recent years.
September 11, 2022
This is a complex story which provides some insights into adoption during a complicated time in South Africa's past. It's a relatively well-written book but there a some parts where the author witters on a bit so it can be easy to lose focus. The voice is a bit weird as well - at parts she switches from a child like perspective to a very formal adult one. That said, still worth a read.
November 24, 2019
“There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently.” I finished this lovely memoir from South African debut author, Sara-Jayne King for my Nonfiction November challenge.
Karoline is born in South Africa during the apartheid to a white mother who was having an affair with a black man. She is put up for adoption after her “natural” mother realizes her child is not her husbands after all. Her biological mother tells her family that her baby has died while receiving medical treatment in another country when the truth reveals that she had been adopted by a white British family at just eight weeks new.
Sara- Jayne aka Karoline, struggles to identify with who she is while growing up in a family and community that is so foreign to her in terms of understanding her background and race.
Is she considered white or black? Is she South African or British? Killing Karoline will break your heart and give you an understanding of the life of an interracial adoptee.
Karoline is born in South Africa during the apartheid to a white mother who was having an affair with a black man. She is put up for adoption after her “natural” mother realizes her child is not her husbands after all. Her biological mother tells her family that her baby has died while receiving medical treatment in another country when the truth reveals that she had been adopted by a white British family at just eight weeks new.
Sara- Jayne aka Karoline, struggles to identify with who she is while growing up in a family and community that is so foreign to her in terms of understanding her background and race.
Is she considered white or black? Is she South African or British? Killing Karoline will break your heart and give you an understanding of the life of an interracial adoptee.
November 19, 2019
I've been wanting to read this for a while now and I raced thru it! Shew what a story. It's nice to have finally read it, since I've read a few articles and listened to Sara-Jayne on the radio quite a bit.
August 30, 2022
Memoirs are so tricky to review and rate - how do you rate someone's story? It's a great, but hard read, with some elements of Sara-Jayne's style not working for me. It helps that I get to dive into Mad Bad Love.
February 18, 2023
An interesting read. Found myself slightly irritated by her self-indulgent, hard-done-by attitude but love how she overcomes her demons and starts to live a life of self acceptance. A sad story worth telling and I enjoyed the read.
November 29, 2024
An exceptional read!!! A beautifully written account of Sara-Jayne's life shared with honesty, vulnerability, humour and sensitivity. I truly felt very connected with her disappointment in her natural mother's response. A true survivor against all the odds thrown at her.
September 11, 2017
Stunning memoir. Moving and beautifully written.
October 29, 2019
Sad, angry and unrelenting. Having just read a book explaining additions, I can understand where she is coming from and the constant need for recognition.
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