What do you think?
Rate this book
How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings: Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women
The unspoken rules for how women should behave in the workplace are as numerous as they are confusing.
Ask for a pay rise? Pushy.
Take credit for an idea? Arrogant.
Admit a mistake? Weak.
Successfully juggle work and family? Unpromotable.
In How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, Sarah Cooper, author of the bestselling 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings, illustrates how women can achieve their dreams, succeed in their careers and become leaders, without harming the fragile male ego.
This wickedly funny tongue-in-cheek guide includes chapters on ‘How to Ace Your Job Interview Without Over-acing It’, ‘9 Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women’, and ‘Choose Your Own Adventure: Do You Want to Be Likeable or Successful?’. It even includes several pages to doodle on while men finish explaining things.
When all else fails, there is a set of cut-outable moustaches inside to allow women to seem more man-like, which will probably lead to a quick promotion!
PRAISE FOR 100 TRICKS TO APPEAR SMART IN MEETINGS:
'A lot of fun and absolutely on the money' Daily Telegraph, Book of the Year
'Even though it's mostly a comedy book, I can't help but think how legitmately useful I would have found this in my early twenties' The Pool
'Sarah Cooper is uncannily spot on when describing the seemingly innocent behaviours of people attempting to impress others' Christine Tsai, Founding Partner, 500 STARTUPS
Ask for a pay rise? Pushy.
Take credit for an idea? Arrogant.
Admit a mistake? Weak.
Successfully juggle work and family? Unpromotable.
In How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, Sarah Cooper, author of the bestselling 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings, illustrates how women can achieve their dreams, succeed in their careers and become leaders, without harming the fragile male ego.
This wickedly funny tongue-in-cheek guide includes chapters on ‘How to Ace Your Job Interview Without Over-acing It’, ‘9 Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women’, and ‘Choose Your Own Adventure: Do You Want to Be Likeable or Successful?’. It even includes several pages to doodle on while men finish explaining things.
When all else fails, there is a set of cut-outable moustaches inside to allow women to seem more man-like, which will probably lead to a quick promotion!
PRAISE FOR 100 TRICKS TO APPEAR SMART IN MEETINGS:
'A lot of fun and absolutely on the money' Daily Telegraph, Book of the Year
'Even though it's mostly a comedy book, I can't help but think how legitmately useful I would have found this in my early twenties' The Pool
'Sarah Cooper is uncannily spot on when describing the seemingly innocent behaviours of people attempting to impress others' Christine Tsai, Founding Partner, 500 STARTUPS
216 pages, Paperback
First published September 6, 2018
295 people are currently reading
4860 people want to read
About the author
Sarah Cooper
6 books309 followersSARAH COOPER is a writer and comedian who had a former life in the tech world. Her books include 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings (2016), How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings (2018), and her debut memoir Foolish: Tales of Assimilation, Determination and Humiliation (2023). Cooper went viral in 2020 with her Trump lip-sync videos, leading to Netflix special Sarah Cooper: Everything's Fine, and appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night with Seth Meyers, The View and the New York Times Best Performers list. Most recently, she appeared in Jerry Seinfeld's directorial debut Unfrosted: The Pop-tart Story (2024). Cooper is married to a Pomeranian named Buddy with whom she shares a home in Brooklyn.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 531 reviews
July 20, 2018
This book in two words: hilarious and relevant.
A guide to help women navigate difficult workplace situations. It is marketed as a humorous book (and in fact is very funny) but is also an accurate portrayal of many issues women still face today on their professional lives.
Some of the chapters titles are "COMMUNICATION: How to talk like a man but still be seen as a woman", "AMBITION: How to advance your career without shoving it in everyone's face", and "NEGOTIATION: gaslightning for beginners".
I read the book in one sitting and it includes illustrations that describe different situations women may encounter and the corresponding responses they should have when encountering those situations.
Overall, I liked it, it was highly entertaining as wells as a relevant and light-hearted portrayal of the workplace today.
Received ARC from the publisher via Netgalley
A guide to help women navigate difficult workplace situations. It is marketed as a humorous book (and in fact is very funny) but is also an accurate portrayal of many issues women still face today on their professional lives.
Some of the chapters titles are "COMMUNICATION: How to talk like a man but still be seen as a woman", "AMBITION: How to advance your career without shoving it in everyone's face", and "NEGOTIATION: gaslightning for beginners".
I read the book in one sitting and it includes illustrations that describe different situations women may encounter and the corresponding responses they should have when encountering those situations.
Overall, I liked it, it was highly entertaining as wells as a relevant and light-hearted portrayal of the workplace today.
Received ARC from the publisher via Netgalley
February 25, 2019
Dear author and publisher, why do you come up with this book only now?! Ten years ago, a friend who recruited me to their company told me that the reason I was not hired because the supervisor who conducted the interview was threatened by my skills. Several years after that, I had a job interview in the I.T. department of a huge local T.V. station here in the country. I had no problems with my series of interview with the human resources head, but when I was interviewed by two supervisors from the department where I should be assigned, I encountered a bit of problem because of being honest. When I was asked if I can do hard coding, I answered that I can but that's my biggest mistake because I was compared to one of them. The one who asked me the question candidly joke that I beat his companion because he cannot do it, which made the receiver of the remark speechless and humiliated. And yes, all supervisors who turn down my applications were all male!
If only this book was released sooner, I could have learned how to deal with those men. The content may be in humor form, but there's a bit of truth to the details especially on how some men still think that the workforce should be still male-dominated. They may not admit it but there are instances that they are threatened by their female counterpart. I'm quite sure that all employed ladies or used to worked before has experienced several instances that were listed in this book. I could grab copies of this and give as a present to some friends, particularly those who currently experience sexism from their work.
If only this book was released sooner, I could have learned how to deal with those men. The content may be in humor form, but there's a bit of truth to the details especially on how some men still think that the workforce should be still male-dominated. They may not admit it but there are instances that they are threatened by their female counterpart. I'm quite sure that all employed ladies or used to worked before has experienced several instances that were listed in this book. I could grab copies of this and give as a present to some friends, particularly those who currently experience sexism from their work.
June 20, 2018
When I first got into the work world, the book we were all supposed to read was "Games your mother never taught you." Very good book. I would like to say it is a little dated, but some of those things still go on, and women have to adjust to them, unfortunately.
If you have every worked in a corporate office, and if you are a woman, you have run across the things that are being made fun of in this book. I worked in corporate offices for 10 years, in the 1990s. From the looks of this book, things have not changed much.
This book is pretending to tell women the right way to do things, so as not to upset their male co-workers, because, of course, we would not want to do that.
This example, below, is telling women how to dress for a job interview. As you can see, there is no perfect way to dress. :)
This example, below, is showing how if a woman says it, it comes across differently than if a man says it. This was true then, and true now. I'm sure not all men and women feel this way, but I have seen enough of this stuff to find humor in how it is presented.
This cartoon is self explanatory.
And of course, mansplaining is touched on.
And, the bonus tips about hot do deal with CEOs, vs toddlers.
I quite enjoyed the humor that hit a little to close to home, in most of these instances, but makes for something to laugh at too.
Good gift for any working woman, and probably for men who understand, as well.
#HowToBeSuccessfulWithoutHurtingMen'sFeelings #NetGalley
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
If you have every worked in a corporate office, and if you are a woman, you have run across the things that are being made fun of in this book. I worked in corporate offices for 10 years, in the 1990s. From the looks of this book, things have not changed much.
This book is pretending to tell women the right way to do things, so as not to upset their male co-workers, because, of course, we would not want to do that.
This example, below, is telling women how to dress for a job interview. As you can see, there is no perfect way to dress. :)
This example, below, is showing how if a woman says it, it comes across differently than if a man says it. This was true then, and true now. I'm sure not all men and women feel this way, but I have seen enough of this stuff to find humor in how it is presented.
This cartoon is self explanatory.
And of course, mansplaining is touched on.
And, the bonus tips about hot do deal with CEOs, vs toddlers.
I quite enjoyed the humor that hit a little to close to home, in most of these instances, but makes for something to laugh at too.
Good gift for any working woman, and probably for men who understand, as well.
#HowToBeSuccessfulWithoutHurtingMen'sFeelings #NetGalley
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
November 18, 2018
When I first started reading this book, it annoyed me. Yeah, yeah, okay: Better not wear this hairstyle because men find it threatening! And better not talk too loudly because men find that threatening, too! Etc., etc. It was all stuff I'd heard a million times before. Boring.
But as I kept reading, it really started to dawn on me that I do a lot of the "passive female" mannerisms shown in the book. That overly-fake-excited tone in emails? Yep, I do that. Letting men (and sometimes women) talk over me and even explain my own ideas to me? Yeah, I've done that, too. Allowing a man to make me feel physically uncomfortable but feeling powerless to do anything about it simply because he ended that douchey comment with a smiley emoticon or that suggestive touch with a "we're cool, right!" smile? I have. I've allowed that.
Honestly, the more I read this book, the worse it made me feel. I consider myself pretty self-aware and progressive. I know how to be a strong woman. I'm woke, kids! But with every tongue-in-cheek cartoon, I couldn't help but realize how many tiny grievances I let slip by. Not that I'm looking to become petty, overly-sensitive, hurtful, or rude toward other people. (I've worked hard to become a more confident advocate for myself, while still embracing the power of grace and forgiveness.) But wouldn't it be nice to be able to communicate honestly every once in a while without fake smiles and the excessive use of exclamation points---all without worrying about who I'm offending in the process? Is that a world I ever get to live in?
Some of the examples in here are dated, and I would argue that many of the situations shown are no longer specifically "men vs. women." (Shoot, I've learned that female bosses and coworkers can be brutal, too...) But there is still no denying the truth of what author Sarah Cooper writes.
Ultimately, this book isn't going to be for everyone, but it's definitely an interesting and eye-opening read. It made me think.
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and Amazon Vine for the ARC!
See more of my reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
But as I kept reading, it really started to dawn on me that I do a lot of the "passive female" mannerisms shown in the book. That overly-fake-excited tone in emails? Yep, I do that. Letting men (and sometimes women) talk over me and even explain my own ideas to me? Yeah, I've done that, too. Allowing a man to make me feel physically uncomfortable but feeling powerless to do anything about it simply because he ended that douchey comment with a smiley emoticon or that suggestive touch with a "we're cool, right!" smile? I have. I've allowed that.
Honestly, the more I read this book, the worse it made me feel. I consider myself pretty self-aware and progressive. I know how to be a strong woman. I'm woke, kids! But with every tongue-in-cheek cartoon, I couldn't help but realize how many tiny grievances I let slip by. Not that I'm looking to become petty, overly-sensitive, hurtful, or rude toward other people. (I've worked hard to become a more confident advocate for myself, while still embracing the power of grace and forgiveness.) But wouldn't it be nice to be able to communicate honestly every once in a while without fake smiles and the excessive use of exclamation points---all without worrying about who I'm offending in the process? Is that a world I ever get to live in?
Some of the examples in here are dated, and I would argue that many of the situations shown are no longer specifically "men vs. women." (Shoot, I've learned that female bosses and coworkers can be brutal, too...) But there is still no denying the truth of what author Sarah Cooper writes.
Ultimately, this book isn't going to be for everyone, but it's definitely an interesting and eye-opening read. It made me think.
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and Amazon Vine for the ARC!
See more of my reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
March 9, 2021
Anfangs war ich wirklich skeptisch, wie das Buch wohl sein würde und habe mich absichtlich vorher weder mit Rezensionen noch Klappentext oder Presseinfo befasst. Und das war auch gut so. Das Buch war komplett anders als erwartet, unfassbar lustig, ironisch und leider viel zu wahr. Schon jetzt auf jeden Fall eines meiner Jahreshighlights 2021. Es spiegelt männliche Selbstverständlichkeiten und weibliche "Fehler" im beruflichen Umfeld. Der gesamte Inhalt besteht neben den pointierten Texten aus farbigen Illustrationen, Grafiken und kleinen Aufgaben (klingt verrückter und unübersichtlicher als es ist).
Um allen den gleichen Lesegenuss wie mir zu gönnen, sage ich nichts weiter zum Buch außer: lest es, teilt es, lest es nochmal, lest es euch gegenseitig vor, lacht, krempelt die Ärmel hoch und zieht euer Ding durch.
Um allen den gleichen Lesegenuss wie mir zu gönnen, sage ich nichts weiter zum Buch außer: lest es, teilt es, lest es nochmal, lest es euch gegenseitig vor, lacht, krempelt die Ärmel hoch und zieht euer Ding durch.
November 5, 2018
I ended up buying this on Thursday and was happy when it arrived Saturday. After a long road trip back from the southern part of VA, I was happy to be back in my house and reading something funny.
I had seen a post about this book on Ask A Manager, and loved the images that were shown.
Later on a friend and I going into work looked it up and were dying about some of the the things that Cooper gets into, but then of course we also got mad and then sad, because though this is humor, it still stings.
Yes, women are often talked down to by colleagues, ignored for saying something, but kudos are given out when a male colleague repeats the same comment ten minutes later. We are often told to not get wound up when someone is doing something shitty to us, and called a bitch behind our backs when we refuse to let someone walk all over us. Yes, it is 2018 and the more things change, the more they stay the same.
This book reminds me of Yes Please by Amy Poehler, both are bright books which include places for the owner of the book to write, scribble, doodle, etc.
There are 12 chapters in this book (FYI they are very short due to the illustrations, so don't worry about getting bored) with a funny introduction and conclusion.
Chapter 2: Communication-How to Talk Like A Man but Still be Seen as a Woman is the one chapter that ticked me off the most though (I still laughed). Probably because every scenario in there has happened to me. Oh you said something that got totally ignored and a male colleague is praised for saying it 15 minutes later. Do you worry about talking too loud and forceful though when your male colleague does it, somehow he's considering charismatic and a leader of the future?
Chapter 4: Authenticity-How to Bring Your True Self to Work and Then Hide it Completely made me giggle the most though. I remember being new to the government and being told I needed to bring in pictures (I was not married and didn't have kids--still don't) to make me more approachable. A manager said this to me. I remember thinking who cares what is going on at home, it's not like you will ever meet these people!
Chapter 7: Negotiation-Gaslighting for Beginners and Chapter 8: Harassment-How to be Harassed Without Hurting his Career were also had some funny side by sides.
The side by sides showing how to do things incorrectly and the right way to do things in this book should be pull outs that you can stick on a fridge or in your cube somewhere.
This book is obviously humor, so please don't follow the advice in the book.
I had seen a post about this book on Ask A Manager, and loved the images that were shown.
Later on a friend and I going into work looked it up and were dying about some of the the things that Cooper gets into, but then of course we also got mad and then sad, because though this is humor, it still stings.
Yes, women are often talked down to by colleagues, ignored for saying something, but kudos are given out when a male colleague repeats the same comment ten minutes later. We are often told to not get wound up when someone is doing something shitty to us, and called a bitch behind our backs when we refuse to let someone walk all over us. Yes, it is 2018 and the more things change, the more they stay the same.
This book reminds me of Yes Please by Amy Poehler, both are bright books which include places for the owner of the book to write, scribble, doodle, etc.
There are 12 chapters in this book (FYI they are very short due to the illustrations, so don't worry about getting bored) with a funny introduction and conclusion.
Chapter 2: Communication-How to Talk Like A Man but Still be Seen as a Woman is the one chapter that ticked me off the most though (I still laughed). Probably because every scenario in there has happened to me. Oh you said something that got totally ignored and a male colleague is praised for saying it 15 minutes later. Do you worry about talking too loud and forceful though when your male colleague does it, somehow he's considering charismatic and a leader of the future?
Chapter 4: Authenticity-How to Bring Your True Self to Work and Then Hide it Completely made me giggle the most though. I remember being new to the government and being told I needed to bring in pictures (I was not married and didn't have kids--still don't) to make me more approachable. A manager said this to me. I remember thinking who cares what is going on at home, it's not like you will ever meet these people!
Chapter 7: Negotiation-Gaslighting for Beginners and Chapter 8: Harassment-How to be Harassed Without Hurting his Career were also had some funny side by sides.
The side by sides showing how to do things incorrectly and the right way to do things in this book should be pull outs that you can stick on a fridge or in your cube somewhere.
This book is obviously humor, so please don't follow the advice in the book.
July 10, 2021
"Telling your coworkers about future family plans is risky. If the think you'll be going on maternity leave soon, they could immediately start to count you out for future projects. Try to keep your pregnancy a secret until your child is at least eighteen years old".
Vor einiger Zeit stöberte ich in einer Buchhandlung in Malmö und geriet zufällig an dieses Buch. Schon das erste Reinlesen hat mir große Freude bereitet, aber da ich nur mit einem Rucksack unterwegs war und noch einige Wochen Reise vor mir hatte, wollte ich kein Buch kaufen.
Als es neulich bei thalia.de wieder Rabatt auf englische Bücher gab, sah ich die Zeit gekommen, um dieses wunderbar-zynische Buch in meinen Besitz übergehen zu lassen.
Habt ihr auch manchmal das Gefühl, dass ihr auf der Arbeit trotz guter Leistungen und großer Anstrengung einfach übergangen bzw. gar nicht wahrgenommen werdet? Und das alles, während Michi vom Schreibtisch gegenüber bereits zum zweiten Mal befördert wird, obwohl er der reinste Schaumschläger ist und original NICHTS zu den gemeinsamen Projekten beiträgt? So langsam kommt einem dann doch der Gedanke auf, dass es am Geschlecht liegen könnte...
In dieser humorvollen Graphic Novel zeigt Sarah Cooper nicht ganz ernst gemeinte Tipps, wie man als Frau im Business überlebt - ob bei Gehaltsverhandlungen, Beförderungsfragen oder Jobinterviews. Dabei verliert sie nie das oberste Credo für Frauen in der Wirtschaft aus den Augen: Niemals bedrohlich auf die Männer wirken! Ansonsten kann es schnell unangenehm werden.
Mir hat das Buch gut gefallen, obwohl ich nicht in der freien Wirtschaft arbeite, kamen mir doch einige Situationen bekannt vor. Mit einfachen Skizzen stellt Cooper kritisch dar, was von Frauen in der Arbeitswelt verlangt wird. Dabei wird schnell klar, was wir alle sowieso schon häufig fühlen: egal, was man macht, es ist falsch. Tja, was will man als Frau auch in einer Welt, die für Männer gemacht ist.
Ich bin etwas zwiegespalten, da das Buch bei aller Kritik am System keine Lösungsansätze bietet, sondern eher eine Satire auf die bestehende Situation darstellt. Andererseits verstehe ich auch, dass wir Frauen relativ wenig tun können, solange Männer nicht ebenfalls an dem Systemwandel mitarbeiten, deshalb verstehe ich auch, dass Cooper mit diesem Werk vielleicht einfach etwas Trost und ein paar Lacher an alle betroffenen Frauen spenden möchte.
4🌟
Vor einiger Zeit stöberte ich in einer Buchhandlung in Malmö und geriet zufällig an dieses Buch. Schon das erste Reinlesen hat mir große Freude bereitet, aber da ich nur mit einem Rucksack unterwegs war und noch einige Wochen Reise vor mir hatte, wollte ich kein Buch kaufen.
Als es neulich bei thalia.de wieder Rabatt auf englische Bücher gab, sah ich die Zeit gekommen, um dieses wunderbar-zynische Buch in meinen Besitz übergehen zu lassen.
Habt ihr auch manchmal das Gefühl, dass ihr auf der Arbeit trotz guter Leistungen und großer Anstrengung einfach übergangen bzw. gar nicht wahrgenommen werdet? Und das alles, während Michi vom Schreibtisch gegenüber bereits zum zweiten Mal befördert wird, obwohl er der reinste Schaumschläger ist und original NICHTS zu den gemeinsamen Projekten beiträgt? So langsam kommt einem dann doch der Gedanke auf, dass es am Geschlecht liegen könnte...
In dieser humorvollen Graphic Novel zeigt Sarah Cooper nicht ganz ernst gemeinte Tipps, wie man als Frau im Business überlebt - ob bei Gehaltsverhandlungen, Beförderungsfragen oder Jobinterviews. Dabei verliert sie nie das oberste Credo für Frauen in der Wirtschaft aus den Augen: Niemals bedrohlich auf die Männer wirken! Ansonsten kann es schnell unangenehm werden.
Mir hat das Buch gut gefallen, obwohl ich nicht in der freien Wirtschaft arbeite, kamen mir doch einige Situationen bekannt vor. Mit einfachen Skizzen stellt Cooper kritisch dar, was von Frauen in der Arbeitswelt verlangt wird. Dabei wird schnell klar, was wir alle sowieso schon häufig fühlen: egal, was man macht, es ist falsch. Tja, was will man als Frau auch in einer Welt, die für Männer gemacht ist.
Ich bin etwas zwiegespalten, da das Buch bei aller Kritik am System keine Lösungsansätze bietet, sondern eher eine Satire auf die bestehende Situation darstellt. Andererseits verstehe ich auch, dass wir Frauen relativ wenig tun können, solange Männer nicht ebenfalls an dem Systemwandel mitarbeiten, deshalb verstehe ich auch, dass Cooper mit diesem Werk vielleicht einfach etwas Trost und ein paar Lacher an alle betroffenen Frauen spenden möchte.
4🌟
October 16, 2020
Occasionally depressing how many examples were very close to real things I have seen and/or done myself. But also amusing.
December 30, 2018
I love funny/sarcastic books and this one was funny from the very first page.
January 19, 2020
The art and layout are really appealing and the humor is spot on. It made me LOL on the bus home.
September 14, 2018
"Because you know what's more precious than my hopes and dreams? A man's ego.
A man's ego must be protected at all cost."
How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings: Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women is really, really good.
It's one of those books that is so successful because not only is it genuinely funny (with wonderful visual aids and illustrations to boot) but it's all so painfully true, and timely.
Within the pages of this book, you will find helpful tips for how to ace your interview (without over-acing it), how to talk like a man (but be seen as a woman) and how to be harassed (but protect your harasser). I can't think of a woman who wouldn't relate to at least one thing that is discussed in this book but I can certainly think of plenty of men that will be OUTRAGED by it, which, who cares? This book isn't for them. This book is for the women who experience all of these things and have to be able to laugh about them so that they won't die inside every second of the workday.
I kept flagging pages that I wanted to pull quotes from for this review but I quickly found that I was tagging nearly every other page. The only one I felt compelled to include is the one that I opened with here; for all of the other incredible ones, you'll just have to go and read this for yourself!
I was unfamiliar with Sarah Cooper before picking up this book and I plan to correct that mistake immediately by going back and reading anything and everything else she has ever written.
I received this ARC as a courtesy from NetGalley & the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
A man's ego must be protected at all cost."
How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings: Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women is really, really good.
It's one of those books that is so successful because not only is it genuinely funny (with wonderful visual aids and illustrations to boot) but it's all so painfully true, and timely.
Within the pages of this book, you will find helpful tips for how to ace your interview (without over-acing it), how to talk like a man (but be seen as a woman) and how to be harassed (but protect your harasser). I can't think of a woman who wouldn't relate to at least one thing that is discussed in this book but I can certainly think of plenty of men that will be OUTRAGED by it, which, who cares? This book isn't for them. This book is for the women who experience all of these things and have to be able to laugh about them so that they won't die inside every second of the workday.
I kept flagging pages that I wanted to pull quotes from for this review but I quickly found that I was tagging nearly every other page. The only one I felt compelled to include is the one that I opened with here; for all of the other incredible ones, you'll just have to go and read this for yourself!
I was unfamiliar with Sarah Cooper before picking up this book and I plan to correct that mistake immediately by going back and reading anything and everything else she has ever written.
I received this ARC as a courtesy from NetGalley & the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
June 20, 2018
Hilarious, yet painfully accurate commentary on how to succeed with hurting men's feelings or damaging their ego. A must read for everyone.
*eARC Netgalley*
*eARC Netgalley*
September 11, 2018
After the razor-sharp 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings, I wondered if Sarah Cooper could do it again. She did. How To Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings is a sendup of two sexes working together, sparing no feelings and cutting to the bone. It is uproariously funny and deeply painful. It is painful to those who will see themselves, possibly for the first time, for who they really are. It is funny because working relationships are so distorted, you couldn’t just make this stuff up. Everyone can relate to some situation in this book.
It is a survival kit for women in a business world dominated by white men. The basic premise is for women to suppress anger, skill, knowledge and creativity in order not to hurt men’s feelings, and worse of course, cut your own career short. As Cooper says: “It’s all about finding that perfect balance that doesn’t exist.”
The men, of course, are self-absorbed, sport cliché loving selfish oafs. They explain things endlessly, even things women had to explain to them in the first place. They steal credit, put women down, and harass them, in what can never again be considered harmless ways.
Cooper’s style is as delightful as ever. She lays out the premise, and takes it to an extreme, which is absurd yet reasonable given the circumstances. Here’s what she says about being authentic: “Authenticity is less about being the real you and more about finding someone successful to look up to and being that person instead.”
“How to be harassed without hurting his career” alone is worth price of admission. What women go through that men rarely have to is criminal, literally. That it goes on daily and is a normal part of work is insane at best. Cooper lists the various categories of harassment in the office, and provides escape advice, most of which is laughing it off, in order not to start an investigation, which nobody ever wins.
Gaslighting is another great chapter, in which women are told they are confused and wrong and made to back off or back away from credit, accomplishment and success, while some man steals it all.
There are 14 such chapters in all, each with laughs that hurt. They are interspersed with bright fuchsia face pages smothered with the swirly, girly white fonts of romance novels that are hilarious in their own right. How To Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings is the complete package.
David Wineberg
For this same review with images, see https://medium.com/the-straight-dope/...
It is a survival kit for women in a business world dominated by white men. The basic premise is for women to suppress anger, skill, knowledge and creativity in order not to hurt men’s feelings, and worse of course, cut your own career short. As Cooper says: “It’s all about finding that perfect balance that doesn’t exist.”
The men, of course, are self-absorbed, sport cliché loving selfish oafs. They explain things endlessly, even things women had to explain to them in the first place. They steal credit, put women down, and harass them, in what can never again be considered harmless ways.
Cooper’s style is as delightful as ever. She lays out the premise, and takes it to an extreme, which is absurd yet reasonable given the circumstances. Here’s what she says about being authentic: “Authenticity is less about being the real you and more about finding someone successful to look up to and being that person instead.”
“How to be harassed without hurting his career” alone is worth price of admission. What women go through that men rarely have to is criminal, literally. That it goes on daily and is a normal part of work is insane at best. Cooper lists the various categories of harassment in the office, and provides escape advice, most of which is laughing it off, in order not to start an investigation, which nobody ever wins.
Gaslighting is another great chapter, in which women are told they are confused and wrong and made to back off or back away from credit, accomplishment and success, while some man steals it all.
There are 14 such chapters in all, each with laughs that hurt. They are interspersed with bright fuchsia face pages smothered with the swirly, girly white fonts of romance novels that are hilarious in their own right. How To Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings is the complete package.
David Wineberg
For this same review with images, see https://medium.com/the-straight-dope/...
September 1, 2018
I know I should laugh and find the irony of the book funny. I do, but I cannot enjoy it. I understand that the book is filled with irony and should be lived on the complete opposite, but I am a little offended of the book. Working woman have fought hard to be where they are now, and to make fun of uncomfortable situations is not the way to go. I work in a male dominated tech industry, and yes some of the pages spoke to me, but they also spoke to negative of my male coworkers. This book play on stereotypes, that's why it is funny and that is why I find outdated and vulgar.
*Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
*Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
December 27, 2019
It's short, and you definitely need to see the illustrations. Not sure if audio is even available. but you need pictures for this one.
And it's funny. Because it's true. Holy hand grenades, I wish I'd read this 25 years ago when I was starting my career as a lawyer. But then, I really wish it wasn't true and I wouldn't have spent a quarter of a century being underpaid and mansplained to, but, here we are.
I'm definitely donning a fake mustache next time I have to give a presentation so there's a chance people might listen to me.
And it's funny. Because it's true. Holy hand grenades, I wish I'd read this 25 years ago when I was starting my career as a lawyer. But then, I really wish it wasn't true and I wouldn't have spent a quarter of a century being underpaid and mansplained to, but, here we are.
I'm definitely donning a fake mustache next time I have to give a presentation so there's a chance people might listen to me.
March 13, 2022
This was more depressing and irritating, and not at all funny to me. I'm sure plenty of other frustrated women would enjoy the snark. But I was just disheartened, because I don't see how this adds anything of value to the problem.
November 14, 2018
Not sure if I should laugh or weep for us women.
March 19, 2019
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide how you’d want to be perceived by men and how you wouldn’t care anyways.
March 30, 2019
Highly recommend. Frustratingly hilarious and real.
NOT TOO SPOILING SPOILER:
"So how do you be successful without hurting men's feelings? You don't. You be successful whether men's feelings are hurt or not, because really that's up to them, not you. [...] More rules on how we should change in order to better deal with their issues ain't gonna help us, honey. What will help us is more of us. A lot more of us. Everywhere. So get out there! And be as threatening or as non-threatening as you want."
NOT TOO SPOILING SPOILER:
"So how do you be successful without hurting men's feelings? You don't. You be successful whether men's feelings are hurt or not, because really that's up to them, not you. [...] More rules on how we should change in order to better deal with their issues ain't gonna help us, honey. What will help us is more of us. A lot more of us. Everywhere. So get out there! And be as threatening or as non-threatening as you want."
February 2, 2021
I enjoyed the audiobook version of this book very, very much! It's funny but also encouraging. BTW, my husband belongs to the 3rd category men. He laughed when I told him the title of the book.
October 16, 2018
What's the worst part of being a woman in business?
We asked these three men what they think.
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Just based on the title, you know you're going to laugh until you cry. And you're going to laugh because you want to cry. And maybe you're just going to cry.
This book is very funny, but also very real, which makes it...not funny. You see the conundrum here, yes?
Irony runs rampant throughout, and I think the best part is the fact that maybe, just maybe, you can find humor in the bullshit scenarios you have experienced more than once in your professional life.
Also, the motivational pretty fonted breaks in the chapters make everything better.
Received via Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
We asked these three men what they think.
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Just based on the title, you know you're going to laugh until you cry. And you're going to laugh because you want to cry. And maybe you're just going to cry.
This book is very funny, but also very real, which makes it...not funny. You see the conundrum here, yes?
Irony runs rampant throughout, and I think the best part is the fact that maybe, just maybe, you can find humor in the bullshit scenarios you have experienced more than once in your professional life.
Also, the motivational pretty fonted breaks in the chapters make everything better.
Received via Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
March 20, 2019
I didn’t realize this was supposed to be more on the humorous side so you can imagine my surprise when I read some of the things in this book. I must say it was pretty funny and kinda sad that some of it was true. It’s a super quick, comic like read. So if you’re actually looking for a book with substance this isn’t it, but it’ll make you laugh for sure.
November 27, 2018
Who said feminists don't have a sense of humor? Hilarious and too true.
December 28, 2018
Frustratingly hilarious. So true it hurt.
December 21, 2018
Sarah Cooper's goal was "[t]o write a book that was hopefully funny but could also make people want to throw it across the room" (208). She achieved much more of the first part than the second part. Like her previous book, 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings, the humor here is perfect: perceptive, biting, and dry. Also, and despite its title, this book features a lot of content that is just basic office humor, able to be appreciated by any reader, regardless of gender. Some of the attitudes and experiences Cooper writes about have more to do with particular personality types than with being male or female. But the fact that females deal with certain experiences more often than males is sad and infuriating.
My favorite parts of this book were the "bonus tips" and infographics included throughout. Cooper is right on about so much of corporate life, and though her particular focus is women in the tech industry, my experience shows me that higher education and nonprofits are not very different. (Though of course this book made me think about one male I know who not only matches a lot of what Cooper writes about men in the workplace, but probably wouldn't even understand which character he is in this book if he read it. I'm glad it's only one person like that who comes to mind.)
The only reason I don't rate this as highly as 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings is that there is something inherently absurd and non-serious about meetings. Mocking and laughing at them seems like an appropriate survival tactic. But some of the issues Cooper addresses in How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings are much more serious. Chapter 8 especially, "How to Be Harassed Without Hurting His Career," was particularly squirmy and awkward. Joking about that feels more difficult and perhaps inappropriate, and those were the jokes that, for me, didn't land quite so well.
But overall, the book is brilliant. Cooper has made me laugh through two books and her website, and for that, I'm grateful. Reading the other contributors to her website only highlights just how hard it is to do what she does. I was glad to read that this is the second of a three-book deal—can't wait for the next one!
My favorite parts of this book were the "bonus tips" and infographics included throughout. Cooper is right on about so much of corporate life, and though her particular focus is women in the tech industry, my experience shows me that higher education and nonprofits are not very different. (Though of course this book made me think about one male I know who not only matches a lot of what Cooper writes about men in the workplace, but probably wouldn't even understand which character he is in this book if he read it. I'm glad it's only one person like that who comes to mind.)
The only reason I don't rate this as highly as 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings is that there is something inherently absurd and non-serious about meetings. Mocking and laughing at them seems like an appropriate survival tactic. But some of the issues Cooper addresses in How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings are much more serious. Chapter 8 especially, "How to Be Harassed Without Hurting His Career," was particularly squirmy and awkward. Joking about that feels more difficult and perhaps inappropriate, and those were the jokes that, for me, didn't land quite so well.
But overall, the book is brilliant. Cooper has made me laugh through two books and her website, and for that, I'm grateful. Reading the other contributors to her website only highlights just how hard it is to do what she does. I was glad to read that this is the second of a three-book deal—can't wait for the next one!
July 13, 2020
Sarah Cooper is the hilarious comic that shot to fame through her Trump parodies. She has written a ridiculously funny book that is ironically an accurate representation of what women have to do to succeed in a male dominated world. She worked as a UX designer on Google Docs and it appears much of the material is inspired by her experiences in the tech world. It’s no secret that successful women are criticized as being “intimidating”, “stubborn”, “aggressive” while the same behaviour is praiseworthy in successful men. It sure isn't fun living through these experiences, but at least Sarah makes it bearable with her funny depictions. A fun book for women to laugh at our own travails...
January 16, 2019
"To write a book that was hopefully funny but could also make people want to throw it across the room..." Yes I felt this way while I was reading the book. Not sure how to rate this book, it's funny and sarcastic but many problems mentioned are true in reality.
November 2, 2018
I just binge read this and it is sadly fantastic or perhaps hilariously sad because it is so spot on with the satire. I laughed my way into hyperventilation up until Chapter 8: How To Be Harassed Without Hurting His Career. The following chapter was also a bit painful regarding likability versus success and I found myself yearning for the bottle of Rose I have downstairs. But then it was all five stars uphill from there by making me cackle far too loudly to be perceived as non-threatening. Ladies in corporate, especially tech companies, please enjoy this book with me.
April 10, 2019
“It’s all about finding that perfect balance that doesn’t exist.”
Cry-laughing because it’s too real.
Cry-laughing because it’s too real.
November 28, 2018
Very, very funny satirical "guide" to succeeding in a male-dominated world. And kind of depressing in its hilarity and accuracy.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 531 reviews