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Growing Pains: Making Sense of Childhood – A Psychiatrist’s Story
'A remarkable, powerful, tender and insightful book that will change lives'
Stephen Fry
'A unique book . . . The stories [Shooter] tells are poignant and powerful testimonies to the resilience of the human spirit'
Marjorie Wallace, CBE
'Through fascinating case studies, Dr Mike Shooter explores issues such as grief, bullying, family breakdown and self-harm. It's a compelling and fascinating glimpse into his career, but is also full of insights into the minds of children, the struggles of growing up and the challenges of parenting'
Max Pemberton, Daily Mail
'An excellent read for psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, whether they work with children or adults'
MDEdge
* * * * * * * * * *
Child psychiatrist Dr Mike Shooter sheds light on the painful issues and universal experience of growing up, through the stories of his patients and their families.
Growing up isn't easy. We can be at our most vulnerable and confused. And the right help isn't always there when we need it most. For over forty years psychiatrist Mike Shooter has listened to children and adolescents in crisis, helping them to find their stories and begin to make sense of their lives.
Mike Shooter's own life has been shaped by his battle with depression. It makes him question received wisdom. He knows labels won't always fit and one diagnosis will not work for all.
His patients' stories are at the heart of this book. Mike Shooter shares their journey as, through therapy, they confront everything from loss and family breakdown to bullying, grief and illness. We see how children begin to make breakthroughs with depression or anxiety, destructive, even sometimes violent behaviour.
Growing Pains is compelling and compassionate - a book to make us wiser and braver, and to help us see how children's stories can find happier endings.
Stephen Fry
'A unique book . . . The stories [Shooter] tells are poignant and powerful testimonies to the resilience of the human spirit'
Marjorie Wallace, CBE
'Through fascinating case studies, Dr Mike Shooter explores issues such as grief, bullying, family breakdown and self-harm. It's a compelling and fascinating glimpse into his career, but is also full of insights into the minds of children, the struggles of growing up and the challenges of parenting'
Max Pemberton, Daily Mail
'An excellent read for psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, whether they work with children or adults'
MDEdge
* * * * * * * * * *
Child psychiatrist Dr Mike Shooter sheds light on the painful issues and universal experience of growing up, through the stories of his patients and their families.
Growing up isn't easy. We can be at our most vulnerable and confused. And the right help isn't always there when we need it most. For over forty years psychiatrist Mike Shooter has listened to children and adolescents in crisis, helping them to find their stories and begin to make sense of their lives.
Mike Shooter's own life has been shaped by his battle with depression. It makes him question received wisdom. He knows labels won't always fit and one diagnosis will not work for all.
His patients' stories are at the heart of this book. Mike Shooter shares their journey as, through therapy, they confront everything from loss and family breakdown to bullying, grief and illness. We see how children begin to make breakthroughs with depression or anxiety, destructive, even sometimes violent behaviour.
Growing Pains is compelling and compassionate - a book to make us wiser and braver, and to help us see how children's stories can find happier endings.
304 pages, Paperback
Published June 2, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 5, 2019
A simply fascinating collection of stories from renowned child psychiatrist Dr Shooter. There are so many topics covered in this book, from neglect through to human trafficking. Stories like this involving children are so important to tell and this doctor should be applauded for his work.
Despite the difficult stories told here the authors writing is digestible even for those with no prior knowledge of mental health. I would have liked to have had a few of the stories expanded further but otherwise, this was an entirely worthwhile read. I especially recommend it for those working within this sector of healthcare.
Despite the difficult stories told here the authors writing is digestible even for those with no prior knowledge of mental health. I would have liked to have had a few of the stories expanded further but otherwise, this was an entirely worthwhile read. I especially recommend it for those working within this sector of healthcare.
April 21, 2019
Growing Pains is a collection of case studies about the patients Dr. Shooter has seen in his career, right from adolescents with anorexia nervosa to victims of parental neglect. I’ve always been fascinated by the effects of childhood trauma on adults, so reading this book answered so many questions I’ve had before.
Dr. Shooter presents each case study in layman’s terms. Some cases can be a little heartbreaking, especially if you can relate to any of them, but the way they’re written and the resolution at the end of the chapter definitely make them worth the read.
There were some chapters where I’d have liked a little more details, but Growing Pains is an enjoyable read, nonetheless. Read it if you like memoirs, stories about childhood trauma, and would like a look behind the scenes of healthcare.
Dr. Shooter presents each case study in layman’s terms. Some cases can be a little heartbreaking, especially if you can relate to any of them, but the way they’re written and the resolution at the end of the chapter definitely make them worth the read.
There were some chapters where I’d have liked a little more details, but Growing Pains is an enjoyable read, nonetheless. Read it if you like memoirs, stories about childhood trauma, and would like a look behind the scenes of healthcare.
April 13, 2018
Essential reading for any parent. A book full of stories , including the author’s own, which gives a vivid picture of the different struggles of growing up. And of how children and families get derailed and, with thought, care and help, can sometimes be put back on track. Compassionate, wise and insightful.... and at times heartbreaking.
April 23, 2019
Growing pains – all children have them, some are physical; some are mental.
I wanted to read this book on so many levels, as a mother, a grandmother and aunt to see if I could find any answers on some of the disorders our immediate family faces.
As a mother, I wanted to hear how Mike Shooter treated those on the autistic spectrum disorder. I was hoping to find some "quick fix" solutions – unfortunately, there aren’t any. Reading through the book and focusing on those with autism, made me realise that it's not just me who finds dealing with autism a very challenging task. Reading this has encouraged me to believe that how I deal with my son’s ASD is okay. I am lucky as I do get support from a large circle of professionals who help both of us cope.
In our “interesting” family, we have children diagnosed with ADHD, Dyslexia and more recently one of my young nephews, NF1 or Neurofibromatosis type 1. All these disorders are linked genetically, and Mike Shooter touches on each of these disorders in the book. I was especially moved by the story of a little boy whose growths through NF1 were busy destroying the sight in his one eye and his leg. I loved how Mike Shooter was able to work with the child to help him make the enormous decisions to have the eye removed and leg amputated to give him back some semblance of being able to live a healthy life.
There are many problems covered in this book, from attempted suicides to losing a parent to neglect and much, much more. This book needs to be read more than once, especially if there are issues that you particularly relate to. I know I will be re-visiting this book often.
One thing that made me sad was to see how often history repeats itself in families. It seems that once children see parents’ shortcomings, it can re-occur in how they interact with their own children.
Through this memoir, we gain insight into his work as a psychiatrist. His career working with children, young adolescences and parents spanned more than forty years. The book will be a great help to parents and young people. Looking at each story gives the reader some kind of hope that there is help out there no matter how big, overwhelming or depressing their problem might seem.
What I also admired, was Mike Shooter’s honesty about his own depression and the help that he had/needs to cope with his bouts of depression. It made him human and gave me hope with the chronic depression I too have had to deal with for longer than I can remember. His candour about depression has given me the courage to discuss my own with more honesty and openness.
My only regret is that I didn’t have a Dr Mike Shooter to turn to when my children were young, to help and advise me on the issues I had to face.
Dietes
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
I wanted to read this book on so many levels, as a mother, a grandmother and aunt to see if I could find any answers on some of the disorders our immediate family faces.
As a mother, I wanted to hear how Mike Shooter treated those on the autistic spectrum disorder. I was hoping to find some "quick fix" solutions – unfortunately, there aren’t any. Reading through the book and focusing on those with autism, made me realise that it's not just me who finds dealing with autism a very challenging task. Reading this has encouraged me to believe that how I deal with my son’s ASD is okay. I am lucky as I do get support from a large circle of professionals who help both of us cope.
In our “interesting” family, we have children diagnosed with ADHD, Dyslexia and more recently one of my young nephews, NF1 or Neurofibromatosis type 1. All these disorders are linked genetically, and Mike Shooter touches on each of these disorders in the book. I was especially moved by the story of a little boy whose growths through NF1 were busy destroying the sight in his one eye and his leg. I loved how Mike Shooter was able to work with the child to help him make the enormous decisions to have the eye removed and leg amputated to give him back some semblance of being able to live a healthy life.
There are many problems covered in this book, from attempted suicides to losing a parent to neglect and much, much more. This book needs to be read more than once, especially if there are issues that you particularly relate to. I know I will be re-visiting this book often.
One thing that made me sad was to see how often history repeats itself in families. It seems that once children see parents’ shortcomings, it can re-occur in how they interact with their own children.
Through this memoir, we gain insight into his work as a psychiatrist. His career working with children, young adolescences and parents spanned more than forty years. The book will be a great help to parents and young people. Looking at each story gives the reader some kind of hope that there is help out there no matter how big, overwhelming or depressing their problem might seem.
What I also admired, was Mike Shooter’s honesty about his own depression and the help that he had/needs to cope with his bouts of depression. It made him human and gave me hope with the chronic depression I too have had to deal with for longer than I can remember. His candour about depression has given me the courage to discuss my own with more honesty and openness.
My only regret is that I didn’t have a Dr Mike Shooter to turn to when my children were young, to help and advise me on the issues I had to face.
Dietes
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
August 10, 2019
The two sub-headings of this book is 'Making Sense of Childhood' and 'A Psychiatrist's Story'. In essence, it is a mix of the writer's professional and (to a lesser extent) personal autobiography, a series of case studies of children and young people that he has helped in his career and a personal plea for the kind of multi-disciplinary approach to helping young people with psychiatric issues that the writer believes gives real results.
Dr Mike Shooter CBE was President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and specialises in treating children and adolescents. We must believe, therefore, that he knows what he is talking about but as it is told from his viewpoint only, it's unclear to the reader what alternative perspectives might be on offer. Certainly, his beliefs in the importance of listening closely to the children to determine the underlying cause of their issues and working with a team of specialists in a variety of fields to help them manage and sometimes overcome their personal and psychiatric problems seem sensible and convincing; but a non-specialist would not know of any alternative views.
Dr Shooter feels that it is too easy for medical professionals to label a child's problem as a particular syndrome for treatment with drugs. He notes that some families prefer a diagnosis like this as having a medical condition carries less of a stigma and removes some of their own responsibility for dealing with it.
The chapters in the book are a series of case studies from Dr Shooter's career; each one highlighting an issue or theme (e.g the nature of adolescence, anorexia, cultural differences, peer group pressure & aggression). The stories of the children and adolescents Dr Shooter has helped are told with compassion and a lack of sensationalism. His description seem to indicate that he is able to determine the root of a child's particular issue quite easily but it must surely have been more difficult in reality but, perhaps, that approach is just for the sake of brevity.
Very little is said about the actual methods used for helping the children to overcome and/or manage their particular issues. Whilst the stories are moving and sad, one cases study follows another, follows another. It starts to feel formulaic and, unfortunately, monotonous. The words of patients and their families are quoted but in many cases they feel like they are 'paraphrased' as they seem to be too polished and too perfect to ring true.
Dr Mike Shooter is to be admired for his compassion and his long commitment to helping children and adolescents. His message of listening to the children rather than rushing into a diagnosis seems important. However, as a book, it is not a compelling read.
Growing Pains is published by Hodder and Stoughton.
Dr Mike Shooter CBE was President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and specialises in treating children and adolescents. We must believe, therefore, that he knows what he is talking about but as it is told from his viewpoint only, it's unclear to the reader what alternative perspectives might be on offer. Certainly, his beliefs in the importance of listening closely to the children to determine the underlying cause of their issues and working with a team of specialists in a variety of fields to help them manage and sometimes overcome their personal and psychiatric problems seem sensible and convincing; but a non-specialist would not know of any alternative views.
Dr Shooter feels that it is too easy for medical professionals to label a child's problem as a particular syndrome for treatment with drugs. He notes that some families prefer a diagnosis like this as having a medical condition carries less of a stigma and removes some of their own responsibility for dealing with it.
The chapters in the book are a series of case studies from Dr Shooter's career; each one highlighting an issue or theme (e.g the nature of adolescence, anorexia, cultural differences, peer group pressure & aggression). The stories of the children and adolescents Dr Shooter has helped are told with compassion and a lack of sensationalism. His description seem to indicate that he is able to determine the root of a child's particular issue quite easily but it must surely have been more difficult in reality but, perhaps, that approach is just for the sake of brevity.
Very little is said about the actual methods used for helping the children to overcome and/or manage their particular issues. Whilst the stories are moving and sad, one cases study follows another, follows another. It starts to feel formulaic and, unfortunately, monotonous. The words of patients and their families are quoted but in many cases they feel like they are 'paraphrased' as they seem to be too polished and too perfect to ring true.
Dr Mike Shooter is to be admired for his compassion and his long commitment to helping children and adolescents. His message of listening to the children rather than rushing into a diagnosis seems important. However, as a book, it is not a compelling read.
Growing Pains is published by Hodder and Stoughton.
July 19, 2019
At a time when life has brought me to a contemplative crossroad, poised between youth and middle years I find myself strangely disposed. There are fewer I can turn to for advice and more instead seeking the same of me. A time when mistakes seem more obvious and virtues hide behind everyday normality. It was therefore serendipitous when Aisling Sheehan from RCPCH asked if I could review a book called “ Growing Pains, making sense of childhood, a psychiatrists story” by Mike Shooter.
Mike is a storyteller. It doesn’t surprise me because he listens to stories; with his ears, eyes and heart. He states that life is not all about successes. Failure, regret, disappointments and separation are an integral part of life and can be an “opportunity for growth; a new and better way of life”. He puts his money where his mouth is as his first story is about his own self! He says it took a dying patient to make him realise, seek and stop! Life forever owes death a favour and this is no exception. He claims perfection is a bad model and chooses the “ good enough” one instead.
Whether it is the empowerment of a fifteen-year with dialysis dependant kidney disease, a repressed seventeen year old figuring out her sexual preference, an eight year old burdened with a misdiagnosis of ADHD or a fifteen year old doomed with a diagnosis of depression, Mike’s stories help us look beyond a “ diagnosis” and implore us to seek what lies beneath.
Mike describes adolescence as a second shot for parents at the “ terrible twos!” He highlights the evolution of the adolescent brain from primitive tasks to more sophisticated tasks and suggests that parents must take risks with their adolescent off springs because without experiment they will not develop. He also adds that “Love survives anger” and appreciation can help create a “ virtuous circle” to reverse the “ vicious circle” of a troubled childhood.
I would recommend this book to everyone who seeks to understand human behaviour and through it; their own.
Mike is a storyteller. It doesn’t surprise me because he listens to stories; with his ears, eyes and heart. He states that life is not all about successes. Failure, regret, disappointments and separation are an integral part of life and can be an “opportunity for growth; a new and better way of life”. He puts his money where his mouth is as his first story is about his own self! He says it took a dying patient to make him realise, seek and stop! Life forever owes death a favour and this is no exception. He claims perfection is a bad model and chooses the “ good enough” one instead.
Whether it is the empowerment of a fifteen-year with dialysis dependant kidney disease, a repressed seventeen year old figuring out her sexual preference, an eight year old burdened with a misdiagnosis of ADHD or a fifteen year old doomed with a diagnosis of depression, Mike’s stories help us look beyond a “ diagnosis” and implore us to seek what lies beneath.
Mike describes adolescence as a second shot for parents at the “ terrible twos!” He highlights the evolution of the adolescent brain from primitive tasks to more sophisticated tasks and suggests that parents must take risks with their adolescent off springs because without experiment they will not develop. He also adds that “Love survives anger” and appreciation can help create a “ virtuous circle” to reverse the “ vicious circle” of a troubled childhood.
I would recommend this book to everyone who seeks to understand human behaviour and through it; their own.
March 21, 2022
Growth hurts because making changes isn’t easy
I read this book because I had recently received an internship offer from a psychiatry center.
Having to face many children with mental health problems, I would like to know more about what they genuinely need.
Dr. Shooter spoke about his experiences working as a psychiatric physician. From depression to eating disorders to PTSD, he met many "problematic children". In each chapter, he offers suggestions of what people should do to support the children. As when it comes to helping the desperate children with mental health disorders, it is more than just prescribing antidepressants, providing therapies, and tracking developmental milestones.
Encountering various obstacles, children are under tremendous pressure and subject to depression and anxiety. They are pushed toward suicide attempts and self-harm. Mental wellness should not be a sort of lottery but should benefit all the children in the stage of adolescence. Children do not live in a vacuum. It is our responsibility as adults to ensure that the development goes smoothly. Maybe we should start thinking about how we can help the kids now!
The book is a distinguished collection of "case studies" in psychiatry that is well-written. If you are a social worker or psychiatrist-to-be, it is a must-read!
I read this book because I had recently received an internship offer from a psychiatry center.
Having to face many children with mental health problems, I would like to know more about what they genuinely need.
Dr. Shooter spoke about his experiences working as a psychiatric physician. From depression to eating disorders to PTSD, he met many "problematic children". In each chapter, he offers suggestions of what people should do to support the children. As when it comes to helping the desperate children with mental health disorders, it is more than just prescribing antidepressants, providing therapies, and tracking developmental milestones.
Encountering various obstacles, children are under tremendous pressure and subject to depression and anxiety. They are pushed toward suicide attempts and self-harm. Mental wellness should not be a sort of lottery but should benefit all the children in the stage of adolescence. Children do not live in a vacuum. It is our responsibility as adults to ensure that the development goes smoothly. Maybe we should start thinking about how we can help the kids now!
The book is a distinguished collection of "case studies" in psychiatry that is well-written. If you are a social worker or psychiatrist-to-be, it is a must-read!
March 14, 2023
Dr. Mike is a compassionate human being judging by how passionately he writes towards the subject of mental health especially when it comes to children.
However... That doesn't make him a good arbiterer of his thoughts and events automatically (writer)
Though I myself am not judging him on this ground as I feel like the subject (kids mental health) is more important here.
But my problem with this book was that it was a little misleading. The. "Making sense of childhood" statement seems to suggest that Dr. Mike is gonna elaborate a lot on the elements that disturb children's mental health like trauma, abuse, abandonment.
But... Rather he talks little on them except on the parts in which they fit into the story he's recalling.
This book is a collection of stories (events) but it will be little to no help to you if you are going into this book expecting to get to know a lot of things about trauma, abuse (how you can cope with it or how it happens)
All of this stuff is only mentioned when relevant to the story which kinda undermines the whole topic as the main targeted audience are kids/teenagers with mental health problems too which they want to "Make sense of"
I a aware of the fact that it isn't a self help book but it still is a mental health and psychologic one. Overall, I would say it's worth a read but definitely NOT a RE-READ.
However... That doesn't make him a good arbiterer of his thoughts and events automatically (writer)
Though I myself am not judging him on this ground as I feel like the subject (kids mental health) is more important here.
But my problem with this book was that it was a little misleading. The. "Making sense of childhood" statement seems to suggest that Dr. Mike is gonna elaborate a lot on the elements that disturb children's mental health like trauma, abuse, abandonment.
But... Rather he talks little on them except on the parts in which they fit into the story he's recalling.
This book is a collection of stories (events) but it will be little to no help to you if you are going into this book expecting to get to know a lot of things about trauma, abuse (how you can cope with it or how it happens)
All of this stuff is only mentioned when relevant to the story which kinda undermines the whole topic as the main targeted audience are kids/teenagers with mental health problems too which they want to "Make sense of"
I a aware of the fact that it isn't a self help book but it still is a mental health and psychologic one. Overall, I would say it's worth a read but definitely NOT a RE-READ.
May 6, 2019
I thought this was excellent, based on years of experience as a child and adolescent psychiatrist. If only we had met one like this although to be fair our paediatrician at the Royal Surrey was pretty good and the occupational therapist but the system and the rest of them, well I won't start! I think the system has got worse and he would not be able to do this kind of work now. Not because of 'austerity' but growing demands and very poor organisation. We met some horrors along the one, one particular clinical psychologist and a later paediatrician who played on parental conflict, somehow began to run a unit at GOSH and forcibly removed a number of ADHD children from their home settings with little chance of recovery.
May 26, 2019
A collection of different child psychology case studies that are curated around loose themes. The poetic way in which Shooter writes leads to some highly effective passages. Nevertheless, I felt the case studies were far too briefly explored, which I found frustrating.
March 16, 2020
A wonderful read, very in-depth look at child psychiatry. Sad at times but also uplifting when a family work together to get through their difficult times of grief, separation and all of life's trials.
February 7, 2023
Very technical. It was definitely written for a psychiatric audience. I would have liked a little more character development with the patients and to have understood where they go to at the end of the treatment. He used the patients to only illustrate a point.
March 11, 2026
This was such an interesting read. Often extremely sad, but also occasionally hopeful. It's not written for the academic and the style is entirely accessible. I thought it'd be a good general read as a parent but also makes you think about yourself as a child, a needful reminder at times.
August 7, 2022
An excellent and a must read, specially for those working with children, teenagers and young adults.
decided-against
April 25, 2019I’m weary of books of anonymized case studies, and the prologue and early pages of the first chapter did not draw me in at all. (A line I liked: “One thing I’ve learnt the hard way: it takes more energy to run away from something than it does to face up to it.”
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews