One dystopian invention – a radio that can eavesdrop on anyone, anywhere, anytime – and four strange tales.
Available in four parts, free online. The ad men https://idealog.co.nz/etc/2018/01/eav... The news men https://idealog.co.nz/etc/2018/01/eav... The agents https://idealog.co.nz/etc/2018/01/eav... The brothers https://idealog.co.nz/etc/2018/02/eav...
I was born in Zambia and raised in Malawi – a country known as the Warm Heart of Africa but made famous as the place where Madonna finds her children. At 14 I swapped the Warm Heart of Africa for the Chilblain of Edinburgh, where I learned the true meaning of the term ‘culture shock’. There I discovered deep-fried Mars bars, kilts, and what the Scots mean by ‘pelly-wally’. It means pale, freakishly pale, Scottish pale – as pale as the belly of a dead fish!
In search of warmer weather, I moved to beautiful New Zealand in 2003, where I have lived ever since with my lovely wife, two cute children, and four mad cats. Bar a brief adventure in 2014, when we went to live in France so I could terrorise the locals with my atrocious GCSE French, scoffing croissants and mangling their exquisite language wherever I went. I’m so sorry. What can I say – Je suis désolé, mange touts!
As well as upsetting the French, I divided my time unevenly between cat-sitting and writing my second book. The cat just about survived – sorry Molly! More miraculously I finished my book. Bloomsbury published Terms & Conditions and Please Do Not Disturb. And they both became massive bestselling blockbuster phenomena! *
*No, sorry, they did not… that was a joke. Anyway…
I’m back in New Zealand now writing books three, four, five and more. I love writing funny, crazy books for children like Mr Chambo and the Harper & the Shimmer series (coming soon to an internet connection near you!). I also like writing funny, crazy books for grownups.
Like a rare and dim comet, I’ve also appeared randomly and blessedly briefly on TV and radio, generally sounding confused and flummoxed. Including a terrifying interview with the great John Humphrys on the BBC where I tried to find funny things to say about Terms & Conditions. Hey, I tried!
I also do a podcast with my kids called What’s Up! It is full of daft songs and bad jokes, and we only manage to make one or two episodes every few months, but they are definitely not worth listening to if you have access to any other podcasts. Ha!
Alongside my novels, I’ve written for The Guardian, The Independent, The Daily Telegraph, Condé Nast, and Esquire — a list my mother still thinks I’ve made up.