Reading memoirs of victims of tragedy might be considered morbid or even intrusive. Because the incident was covered in the press (and in this case, the victim had a public profile) it is very easy for the reader to feel ‘owed’ the story.
The 7.30 Report anchor, Leigh Sales, released a book recently “Any Ordinary Day” exploring this phenomena. She delves into all aspects, but one was ‘ownership of the story’ and she relates how a couple of her interviewees had enlisted the help of PR professionals to handle the media and retelling of their story, not so much for the monetary reward, but more to retain some control of the telling.
In this case, Cynthia Banham, maintained silence about her injuries and battle to resume life for ten years. Part was inability to dredge up memories of the plane crash and the difficult recovery period, but also because it took her that long to work through the psychological effect of the crash and her loss of mobility.
In the end, she was only able to process her journey through the pain and suffering her mother, grandfather and great aunt went through. Each had totally different crosses to bear, her Nonno by being an imprisoned Italian soldier forced to work for the Germans during WW2, and her mother, torn away from Italy and denied the education she yearned for in an unwelcoming land.
By understanding their thwarted ambitions, Cynthia relates how she gradually came to terms with her own thwarted future.
Her recovery was helped by the love of her husband, whose unfailing devotion to her played a huge part and with the arrival of their son, who represents new hope.
I remember being saddened on hearing news of the accident because I had read some of her articles in the Sydney Morning Herald and been impressed by them enough to take note of her name in the byline. She was always fighting for justice, making the reader aware of the ramifications of events, not just regurgitating press releases.
Hence, these thwarted or compromised ambitions of her relatives were not just a sob story about her relatives,, but representative of injustices of which they were an example. Reading of the xenophobia against Italian migrants, is tragically being repeated fifty years later. Will we never learn?
People who (possibly reluctantly) tell stories of their recovery from horrific injuries are congratulated for being “brave”. It cartainly took a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but for me the true message of her story is as much the importance of empathetic support of not only the victim, but those helping the victim. Grief and tragedy take a toll on everyone affected. Family, friends of survivors and of those who didn’t survive. Again, Leigh Sales book makes for a good companion read.
People affected by tragedy and trauma (whether physical or emotional) do not “owe” us their story, but we can all learn from them if they are willing to gift us with it.