There's a Hole in My Love Cup: The Badass Counseling® Method for Healing the Soul and Unleashing Greatness

by Sven Erlandson

Are you depressed but don't know why? Or is it inexplicable anxiety that grips your gut?
Do you, over and over, sabotage yourself, your career, or your relationships?
Do you have it all, but still feel unfulfilled or even miserable inside?
Is your relationship falling apart and you're not sure what to do?
Is your 20-year-old son or daughter unmotivated, causing you to feel ever more frustrated?
Does your mother or father continue, even well into your adulthood, to control or undermine your life?

If any of these sounds like you, we need to talk! That's the purpose of this book: a real conversation about what is causing all of these problems and unrest in your soul. But first, you must understand: One of the core truths of this book is that trying to change behaviors never changes behaviors, long term. Until there is a fundamental shift in the deep-down, core beliefs driving the behaviors, no changes will ever stick. Most importantly, the beliefs driving your life are neither visible to you, nor were they ever chosen by you.

Your depression and anxiety are, at their root, the result of a life disconnected from your soul – your own true self, which has been waiting for decades, deep inside, to be rediscovered. In this book, I reconnect you to your true voice, free you from the fears that dog you, and give you the courage to finally experience true aliveness, lasting joy, and inner peace.

Sven Erlandson, MDiv., BA, two decades ago, coined the phrase 'spiritual but not religious' as the first author to both name and define that movement in his seminal book by the same title. It is now the largest spiritual-religious movement in American history. As the founder of Badass Counseling, he is a Wall Street performance coach in Manhattan, NYC, and works with Olympic and pro athletes around the world, world class artists, special forces, MMA fighters, couples, and even struggling young people. He has been a spiritual counselor and (former) pastor for 25 years, and has authored several books and articles in the field of spirituality, lecturing at the graduate and undergraduate levels. He was SERE-trained military, the first full-time sports pastor in the 500-year history of the Lutheran Church; and is a former NCAA Strength Coach and Emergency Room Chaplain at a Level One Trauma Center.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Personal Growth, Mental Health

759 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 18, 2018

About the author

Sven Erlandson has become the foremost author in America on happiness, relationships, spirituality, and unleashing your greatness. After 20+ years as a spiritual counselor, Wall Street Performance Coach, and globally respected deep BADASS, he has been written about, cited as a trailblazer on Wikipedia and other cultural touchpoints, and has been approached about a TV show based on his work.

Reviews

[Kelly Storc · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I actually read about healing that didn’t go on and on about “if this [traumatic life event] happened to you, you probably do [insert self-destructive behavior here],” without actually telling you what to do to heal yourself. Could not recommend enough. Thanks, Sven!

[Andrea Jent · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read a self-help/therapy book I love more. Sven is truly amazing. I wish I had the money to see him as a patient. I also ordered the paper copy of this so I can start working though it.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t even know where to start. I started see Sven on Tik Tok and my interest was peaked. He is a straight shooter and is NO BULLSHIT! I devoured this book. I got it on Amazon and then got it on Audible, so it was like a wee story time every single day. I have been to counselors and nobody has the impact on me that Sven has. I can honestly say that crud was removed! He also has a podcast, Badass Counseling and it is phenomenal.
You know, we all have crap to work through and it is like layers of an onion. Just because you have worked through XX doesn’t mean there isn’t more to see and/or learn.
If you feel stuck or just want shit to be better, start with you and this book/podcast/audio book…just start!

[Brydolphin13 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had so many epiphanies from reading this book and completing the journaling recommendations! It was worth the extra time of this self-help book by actually spending the time writing journal entries in-parallel. I loved the music recommendations, which were something different that I really jived with. Beats the hell out of "traditional" therapy. I'm not perfect, but I'm feeling much more mentally cleansed and have a plan to improve my love life!

My only complaint is that sometimes the spiritual stuff was a little bit too much for me as a non-religious person. But hey, that's the beauty of being your authentic self!

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the ultimate self-help book. Sven encourages using journaling to dive into core beliefs and digging deep to the root of issues.

[Pseudonym Phoebe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommend for all people struggling with childhood trauma and/or abuse.

[Megan Schroeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never been so impacted by a book. I took the time to process each area and did the Journaling exercises. It amazed me how I was able to work through things in my life I've always struggled with. Sven talks in a way that I related to and his perspective is life altering. So grateful I found him and this book! The last chapter really got me! I finally feel at peace with the past and excited for the future. Must read for everyone.

[Jonathan Franks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful book that takes a very holistic approach to helping understand and heal so you can be your best self. Definitely recommend. I was worried about his religious background making the book useless or unreadable but was very pleasantly surprised with how he handles it in the book.

[Sydney Ugalde · Rating 5 out of 5]

life changing and interactive

[Erin Vinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bottom line: more people need to know about this book. It’s truly life changing..

[Bev Knaup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously one of the best, most insightful books I've read in a long time! Might even reread it!

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This self help book is one of the best that I’ve read! The author is amazing and love listening to his podcasts. I wish I could afford to go to him for counseling!

[Christopher Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for people that have lived in a relationship where your person didn’t fill your cup.

[Brianna J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. The way I think, feel, and act. I never shut up about this book. It may as well be stamped on my forehead.

[Elizabeth Myers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved most of this book and his points but I wish he didn’t push so hard that we all are struggling with the exact same issues. This made journaling difficult at the end chapter since I don’t want to end my relationship and am quite happy. It would have been better to maybe include a bonus chapter (like the bonus tracks) but for those who really are struggling to leave their relationships. I do see a great value in the chapter though if needed.

Otherwise, this book was a very creative way to write a self help book. I loved the song recommendations and the raw realness of his style.

[Laurie Scherer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tried to read this book as a clinician who could gain some intervention skills for my clients. Instead, it served as a much-needed tool for me to explore my life. This book is a book to do. I believe I came out as a better clinician because I have done the work I ask my clients to do. Sven is a great therapist for therapists-straight to the point with no unneeded process. He is blunt and kind and very effective.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're ready to do the work, this is the ULTIMATE self-help book! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how real Sven is in looking at and explaining the how and why behind who we are, how we got here, and how to change your path. I'd highly recommend this to anyone planning to have kids, and wish I would have read it before I became a parent. 💖

[Aristidis Marousas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a great book for helping identify areas you might be struggling in and building awareness. Sven shares great insights as well as journaling activities. I do feel like there’s a step missing of what to do once you’ve identified the areas or how to actually move forward once the awareness exists, which seems to be a recurring theme in self development books.

[Katt MacDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

I spent almost a year reading, processing and Journaling this book. Almost every chapter gave me a mind blowing ephiany. Highly recommend this to anyone on a self help or healing journey. Anyone battling depression, anxiety or unresolved trauma. Sven has a way of really getting to the root of the issue. Amazing book.

[Pennycuts · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read. I really enjoyed this book, I also love that the book was narrated by the author as I listened to it on Audible. A little repetitive at times, but drives a message through. Highly recommend.

[Hayley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book! It was incredibly helpful. I did find it to be a tad bit redundant at times, but overall a very useful book that really got me thinking. It really did open my eyes, definitely a life changing read for sure.

[Anna Beth Vinton · Rating 3 out of 5]

i first started reading this book in spring of 2023 but couldn’t really get into it and gave up less than 50 pages in. reading it again now after facing a few more challenges in life, i saw a lot more value in it and gained some good insights

[Jana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must ready for EVERYONE! It gives you insight on why you are and feel as you do as an adult. It’s also a great read for parents! Highly highly recommend.

[Marinus Tahu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm ready to reread this as I see myself going in deeper to better understand and improve

[Tara Olson-miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everybody needs this book in their life. I actually started it over. So much emotion and clarity on so much in life. Great music references too

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a life changing read

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A no-nonsense approach to trying to help yourself find inner peace. I keep this on my bedside table and pick it up when I'm feeling reflective.

[Robin Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I continue to learn and grow every time I read this book. Heal the soul and your life will change.

[Will Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get this.

If you’re struggling with anything personal, read 1 chapter and see if it doesn’t punch your mind in the heart.

[Bonnie Fournier · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am sorry Sven. I really wanted to like this book because I love your videos. It just wasn't applicable for me. I passed it on to someone working on relationships.