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Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying
An intimate dialogue between two friends and luminaries on love, death, and the spiritual path, with guidance for the end-of-life journey
We all sit on the edge of a mystery. We have only known this life, so dying scares us—and we are all dying. But what if dying is perfectly safe? What would it look like if you could approach dying with curiosity and love, in service of other beings? What if dying is the ultimate spiritual practice?
Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush began their friendship more than four decades ago at the foot of their guru, Neem Karoli Baba, also known as Maharaj-ji. He transmitted to them a simple love everyone, tell the truth, and give up attachment to material things. A year before Ram Dass passed, he reunited with Bush for an intimate dialogue—which became Walking Each Other Home .
In this extraordinary book, you’ll hear from two beloved teachers about the spiritual opportunities within the dying process. They generously share intimate personal experiences and timeless practices with courage, humor, and heart, gently exploring every aspect of this journey. Here you’ll learn about guidelines for being a “loving rock” for the dying, how to grieve fully and authentically, how to transform a fear of death, leaving a spiritual legacy, creating a sacred space for dying, and much more.
“Everybody you have ever loved is a part of the fabric of your being now,” says Ram Dass. The body may die, but the soul remains. Death is an invitation to a new kind of relationship, in the place where we are all One. Join these two lifelong friends and spiritual luminaries as they explore what it means to live and die consciously, remember who we really are, and illuminate the path we walk together.
We all sit on the edge of a mystery. We have only known this life, so dying scares us—and we are all dying. But what if dying is perfectly safe? What would it look like if you could approach dying with curiosity and love, in service of other beings? What if dying is the ultimate spiritual practice?
Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush began their friendship more than four decades ago at the foot of their guru, Neem Karoli Baba, also known as Maharaj-ji. He transmitted to them a simple love everyone, tell the truth, and give up attachment to material things. A year before Ram Dass passed, he reunited with Bush for an intimate dialogue—which became Walking Each Other Home .
In this extraordinary book, you’ll hear from two beloved teachers about the spiritual opportunities within the dying process. They generously share intimate personal experiences and timeless practices with courage, humor, and heart, gently exploring every aspect of this journey. Here you’ll learn about guidelines for being a “loving rock” for the dying, how to grieve fully and authentically, how to transform a fear of death, leaving a spiritual legacy, creating a sacred space for dying, and much more.
“Everybody you have ever loved is a part of the fabric of your being now,” says Ram Dass. The body may die, but the soul remains. Death is an invitation to a new kind of relationship, in the place where we are all One. Join these two lifelong friends and spiritual luminaries as they explore what it means to live and die consciously, remember who we really are, and illuminate the path we walk together.
287 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 4, 2018
763 people are currently reading
2625 people want to read
About the author
Ram Dass
215 books2,280 followersRam Dass (Richard Alpert), was one of America's most beloved spiritual figures, making his mark on the world giving teachings and promoting loving service, harmonious business practices, and conscious care for the dying. His spirit has been a guiding light for four generations, carrying millions along on the journey, helping free them from their bonds as he has worked his way through his own.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 138 reviews
March 29, 2025
Told in a conversational, and quite peaceful, voice, this book feels like an intimate conversation between friends on dying, and, more strongly to me, on living.
While its focus is on death, it is also about life and I found it to be very applicable to living and being, which is all we can do in preparation for dying. Listening to this felt like being enclosed in a warm embrace and was a very nice and calming experience, as if someone was walking with me as I listened.
While its focus is on death, it is also about life and I found it to be very applicable to living and being, which is all we can do in preparation for dying. Listening to this felt like being enclosed in a warm embrace and was a very nice and calming experience, as if someone was walking with me as I listened.
January 26, 2022
This is the January 2022 selection of South Austin Spiritual Book Group.
This book is a conversation between Mirabai Bush and Ram Dass from Ram Dass' home in Hawaii. The idea for the book came about by a verbal invitation from Ram Dass in 2015 to his old friend Mirabai.
I read Ram Dass' seminal book Be Here Now in 1970 and was curious how his life had evolved after his stroke and move to Hawaii in 2004. I would say that the stroke only deepened Ram Dass' devotion to being love and peace, and perhaps sparked his remarkable work with the dying. He had a knack for easing people across the veil through just being with them, which is tactile enough to absorb from the page.
The hardcover is beautifully illustrated by Sarah J. Coleman. Part of the book's appeal for me was undoubtedly its interior design by Beth Skelley and Jennifer Miles.
My favorite passages include the dedication
"Love is more powerful than death", which is attributed to Ram Dass' guru, Neem Karoli Baba.
And a full page illustration on page 67:
"The secret of dying is the secret of living..."
Can you guess what the secret is?
Recommended, especially if you're thinking of sitting alongside someone near the end.
This book is a conversation between Mirabai Bush and Ram Dass from Ram Dass' home in Hawaii. The idea for the book came about by a verbal invitation from Ram Dass in 2015 to his old friend Mirabai.
I read Ram Dass' seminal book Be Here Now in 1970 and was curious how his life had evolved after his stroke and move to Hawaii in 2004. I would say that the stroke only deepened Ram Dass' devotion to being love and peace, and perhaps sparked his remarkable work with the dying. He had a knack for easing people across the veil through just being with them, which is tactile enough to absorb from the page.
The hardcover is beautifully illustrated by Sarah J. Coleman. Part of the book's appeal for me was undoubtedly its interior design by Beth Skelley and Jennifer Miles.
My favorite passages include the dedication
"Love is more powerful than death", which is attributed to Ram Dass' guru, Neem Karoli Baba.
And a full page illustration on page 67:
"The secret of dying is the secret of living..."
Can you guess what the secret is?
Recommended, especially if you're thinking of sitting alongside someone near the end.
January 3, 2019
I received this book, for free, in exchange for an honest review.
This book didn't resonate with me as much as some of my favorite Ram Dass books (Polishing the Mirror and Be Here Now). That being said, it is one of his better books and a book most people familiar with him will be sure to love. My main complaints about this book are that it repeats some stories from earlier media and is a bit less dense than it could be. I think most people will not mind these problems as the love and wisdom that come through this dialog is likely to overshadow these flaws.
This book didn't resonate with me as much as some of my favorite Ram Dass books (Polishing the Mirror and Be Here Now). That being said, it is one of his better books and a book most people familiar with him will be sure to love. My main complaints about this book are that it repeats some stories from earlier media and is a bit less dense than it could be. I think most people will not mind these problems as the love and wisdom that come through this dialog is likely to overshadow these flaws.
September 9, 2018
This is a wonderful book, with ambitious goals: To help readers get rid of their fear of death; to help those living with grief and loss; to help those sitting with the dying; and to help those who are dying. To my mind, it is a very successful effort, but then, I may not be entirely unbiased.
I first heard of Ram Dass when my older brother brought home a copy of "Be Here Now," back when the book came out (I was in my teens). I was fascinated, but life went on and I didn't read another book by Ram Dass until "Polishing the Mirror," in 2015. By that time, I'd had the great pleasure of working with Mirabai Bush on a book, "Contemplative Practices in Higher Education," and knew that any project she was involved in was going to be powerful. And this book does not disappoint: I found it both powerful and beautiful. And very helpful in addressing those ambitious goals I noted above.
In her introduction, Mirabai writes: "Ram Dass is a theist. He believes in God....I am more of an agnostic these days: I believe in the possibility of God, but I am more comfortable living with what I have experienced directly-the interconnection of all life, the love that connects us, awe in the presence of this. I wondered if that difference would get in the way of us talking about death." Later in the introduction she writes, "...since our views were very different, a series of conversations would be a good form for us to talk about what we knew so far and the questions that remained." As she put it, "This will be a good book to write. We'll be exploring the edge of what we know." My experience was that this worked very well, and the book just got better and better as it went on. To my mind, the conversations were a pleasure to read, despite the subject matter. And after the conversations, the book includes a section of "Practices for Conscious Living, Being with the Dying, and Your Own Death," and a special treat for nerds like me, a list of Recommended Resources. All in all, I highly recommend this book to anyone, period, but especially to anyone close to the dying process, their own or that of anyone else.
I first heard of Ram Dass when my older brother brought home a copy of "Be Here Now," back when the book came out (I was in my teens). I was fascinated, but life went on and I didn't read another book by Ram Dass until "Polishing the Mirror," in 2015. By that time, I'd had the great pleasure of working with Mirabai Bush on a book, "Contemplative Practices in Higher Education," and knew that any project she was involved in was going to be powerful. And this book does not disappoint: I found it both powerful and beautiful. And very helpful in addressing those ambitious goals I noted above.
In her introduction, Mirabai writes: "Ram Dass is a theist. He believes in God....I am more of an agnostic these days: I believe in the possibility of God, but I am more comfortable living with what I have experienced directly-the interconnection of all life, the love that connects us, awe in the presence of this. I wondered if that difference would get in the way of us talking about death." Later in the introduction she writes, "...since our views were very different, a series of conversations would be a good form for us to talk about what we knew so far and the questions that remained." As she put it, "This will be a good book to write. We'll be exploring the edge of what we know." My experience was that this worked very well, and the book just got better and better as it went on. To my mind, the conversations were a pleasure to read, despite the subject matter. And after the conversations, the book includes a section of "Practices for Conscious Living, Being with the Dying, and Your Own Death," and a special treat for nerds like me, a list of Recommended Resources. All in all, I highly recommend this book to anyone, period, but especially to anyone close to the dying process, their own or that of anyone else.
July 17, 2019
“Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying” by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush is a wise guide for end-of-life living, loving and grieving. The authors, well-known spiritual gurus and friends, share in the most personal fashion about how best to support the dying, how to leave a spiritual legacy, and how to walk this final path together. This poignant and illuminating book explores how to live and how to die consciously, treating this final stage as perhaps one’s most important spiritual work. Highly recommended!
Pub Date 04 Sep 2018
Thanks to Sounds True Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.
#WalkingEachOtherHome #NetGalley
Pub Date 04 Sep 2018
Thanks to Sounds True Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.
#WalkingEachOtherHome #NetGalley
June 22, 2024
Looking for some wisdom. Found wisdom and more.
January 3, 2019
How do you enjoy a book on death and dying? Get the info from Ram Dass. While I’ve read most of what he has said on the topic in his many other books, this is getting it all in one place. It is fresh from the standpoint of Ram Dass’ advanced age and experience at this point in time, nearing his own death. Also it’s co written with longtime friend, Mirabai Bush. I got to know Mirabai a bit more here and she’s great! I am biased about Ram Dass.
I genuinely love Ram Dass. I first loved him because he was so meshugana (learned that word from him) and entertaining. That man can tell a story like no other! Listen to the archived talks on his podcast, (beherenownetwork). Over the years he has taught me to love souls instead of personalities - often hard to do. So.... at this point, I love his willingness to continue sharing his clarity and experiences in spite of a stroke 20 something years ago which couldn’t have been easy - aphasia and partial paralysis. These days I think we see his soul as much as I think is possible in a material world. I love that. I AM that. And so are you.
I genuinely love Ram Dass. I first loved him because he was so meshugana (learned that word from him) and entertaining. That man can tell a story like no other! Listen to the archived talks on his podcast, (beherenownetwork). Over the years he has taught me to love souls instead of personalities - often hard to do. So.... at this point, I love his willingness to continue sharing his clarity and experiences in spite of a stroke 20 something years ago which couldn’t have been easy - aphasia and partial paralysis. These days I think we see his soul as much as I think is possible in a material world. I love that. I AM that. And so are you.
Read
September 26, 2025reading this makes me want to see a photography book of various human and animal corpses, or hold the hand of a dying person - which is to say, it's a force for good
that said, I wish I didn't find the overall presentation of this as cheugy as I did - its heart is in the right place, its message is pivotal, but the graphic design and illustrations made me want to die (not in the loving accepting way). something about the sacredness of death feels spat upon when accompanied by the sort of bumper sticker calligraphy that'd be sold by AI on etsy
anyone know how buddhists respond to war and human atrocity? would love to read about the philosophy of self defense + social work in the buddhist tradition
that said, I wish I didn't find the overall presentation of this as cheugy as I did - its heart is in the right place, its message is pivotal, but the graphic design and illustrations made me want to die (not in the loving accepting way). something about the sacredness of death feels spat upon when accompanied by the sort of bumper sticker calligraphy that'd be sold by AI on etsy
anyone know how buddhists respond to war and human atrocity? would love to read about the philosophy of self defense + social work in the buddhist tradition
August 10, 2018
This is a powerful book full of wisdom and love. I have not read any other books by these authors but I certainly will seek them out next. I love the fact that the book was written as a conversation between the two authors as they sought to ponder the topic of death and why we are so afraid to talk about it, think about it and except it. It felt like I was right there with them, experiencing their time together and their conversation, which made the book easy to read even though the topics are difficult to digest.
I especially appreciated the parts about dealing with fear of death, and the suggestion to go back in our memories to Explore our first memories that have to do with people around us dying. I found this a very helpful exercise in relation to my own fears of death, and the whole book very gently walked me through letting go of these fears. The layout is gorgeous, and the illustrations are delicate, elegant, and just right for the tone of the book.
Thank you to NetGalley, the authors and the publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
I especially appreciated the parts about dealing with fear of death, and the suggestion to go back in our memories to Explore our first memories that have to do with people around us dying. I found this a very helpful exercise in relation to my own fears of death, and the whole book very gently walked me through letting go of these fears. The layout is gorgeous, and the illustrations are delicate, elegant, and just right for the tone of the book.
Thank you to NetGalley, the authors and the publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
Read
December 29, 2019Dealing with grief any time is awful, but there's a special kind of awful when it happens this time of year. This book has been tremendously helpful and insightful and affirmed a lot of things I saw and experienced at my grandmother's bedside as she passed this week, a day after Dass himself died.
March 26, 2019
Book: walking each other home. Ram Das
There are a lot of good questions, some real nuggets of answers. The structure felt so randomly conversations, though, which they admit right in the title. Had it been less informally structured and therefore less repetitive, it would have seemed better to me
If I’m going to die the best way for me to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. If I’m going to live, the best way for me to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart.
Getting close to what you fear takes courage. As long as you think you’re vulnerable, you’re going to be afraid. When you’re afraid, come up as close to it as possible. Get as close to it as you can, noticing the resistance. Resistance intensifies fear. Just be with it, don’t grab or push it away. Notice. Be close to suffering, let go of judgments and control. Be done with superiority and western pity.
The root of fear is separateness. All things everywhere since the beginning of time are connected and one. That’s why psychedelics help. The antidote to fear is love.
Once when she thought she was going to die because of some drug she had taken, she panicked saying no no no no no no until finally she remembered she could Just bring her attention to your natural breath and let everything slow up. She said goodbye to her husband, to her sister, to her friends, her home, the stars. But when her son came up she couldn’t. She had more mothering to do, more living to do. There’s a time when death comes knocking and it’s wrong as well as useless to resist. But now was not that time. Anais Nin “ we postpone death by living, by suffering by error by risking by giving by losing.” She postponed it by watching her breath.
When there’s openness, no boundary between me and others, When it turns out that I am literally others and others are me, then love and connection is easy and natural. We can intentionally transform our separateness and invite connectedness by practicing compassion and love. The more we live in the soul, the more we see love everywhere we look.
Patience is the antidote to anger.
Love is viral, it’s contagious, it’s a public health issue. We grow into love by the familiar practices: be here now, learn to let go of attachments, cultivate compassion and loving kindness, and dive into loving awareness over and over again. Read into and out of your spiritual heart thinking I am loving awareness as a mantra. Being love is the best preparation for death, nowhere to go, Nothing to fear, just loving awareness unchanging as everything around me changes moment to moment.
I am ... loving awareness. (Mantra)
Death is a moment and how you spend your Life each moment is a rehearsal for your death. It’s called be here now
I’m changing my to do list from the tasks I faithfully work through every week to tell friends what I love about them, die without regrets.
You can’t take away death but you can be there in love and comfort.
Finally I was able to cry, Not at the sadness of the loss, but at the presence of pure and perfect love that Maharaji had awakened in us which I felt in this gathering of hearts. Love everyone, he had said, and at that moment, I did.
The most fascinating experience in life: dying. You’ve got to approach your dying the way you live your life with curiosity, with hope,with fascination, with courage, and with the help of your friends. I am determined to give death a better name or die trying You’ve got to take charge of it, plan it, talk to your friends about it.
How I can tell you is… As good as this is that it’s going to be better and I will be with you wherever you go. That’s what he told his dad before he went into surgery as an 80 year old. As he got older he said to let go of his need for power and to control him and he was very old he let go more and more until he was just a silent, smiling Buddha, an angel. Held hands, watch the sunset, massaged him.
There came a moment when she gave up surrendered and it was like watching an egg breaking open. And seeing a radiantly beautiful being emerge. She was clear and present and joyful. Always at some level she had known herself to be this being but she had been too busy all her adult life to recognize it. Now she opened to this beautiful being in her core and she basked in the radiance.She was no longer busy dying, she was just being and dying was happening.
When everything seems like just too much for a dying friend, he said that’s because you’re trying to pour so much into it such a small container. What do you say we try to expand together? So they held hands Closed their eyes and he said do you hear my voice? Let it be inside you. Do you hear the children playing outside? Let them be inside you. Do you hear the clock ticking? Let it be inside you. And they kept expanding and expanding. Now you know what I know. Have a good death. And she did a couple hours later.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is sit by the bedside and meditate. Be in rocklike silence. That make space for Truth to enter the room.
When the mind is still then Truth gets her chance to be heard in the purity of the silence. Death is but a changing of our robes to wait in wedding garments at the eternal’s gate.
What looks like falling can largely be experienced as falling upward and onward into a broader and deeper world where the soul has found its fullness and has finally connected to the whole.
Learning to be a loving presence for the dying is a practice. Even without training, you can be a comforting presence. Be natural and relaxed. Learn to feel comfortable with silence. Sit close to the person – They will feel your presence. Lots of thoughts and emotions will come up just like during meditation. The practice is to notice what you were thinking and feeling and without judging yourself to bring your attention back to the person who’s dying. The intimacy of the connection becomes a soul to soul lifeline. The quiet appreciation of the total situation and possibilities steadily move things forward. The challenge is to remain in a state of compassion, reverence for life, and acceptance of death. Letting the dying person know that you know they are dying and resting in loving awareness with them. Smile often. Gentle light touch. Radiate love. Maybe climb into bed if close enough. The most important thing is to hold the person in your heart with love.
Be yourself. Be compassionately present. Be humble. Be with each moment. Have confidence in the dying process, trust in the unfolding. Don’t lose your sense of humor. Expect nothing and be ready for anything. Let go of your own fears. Follow the lead of a dying person. Practice sacred listening. Don’t talk about the afterlife unless you’re asked. Most of all be love, send love.
Listen to their beliefs sadness fears questions about meaning and purpose and all of that. Listen. They are working this out. It’s important to say goodbye , To reassure the dying person that that was left behind will miss them but that they will be all right. It’s OK to let go. You’re not alone. Releasing the dying person from concern is a great gift at this time.
Identify with being rather than doing if you are just starting to feel helpless. The doctors are doing. You are being. Be love. A loving rock. Loving awareness.
It’s interesting to notice as loved ones change how much we often hold onto who they used to be. As they approach their death, they’re changing very rapidly. Imagine you’re meeting a dying friend or loved one for the first time each time you see them, giving up expectations and judgments of the past. Every day is different, new. It’s a precious opportunity to learn about death but only if you can let go of fear and anxiety. Remember that you are sore. Return to the dying with loving awareness.
Don’t ruminate about the past.
Don’t anticipate the future.
Don’t cogitate about the present.
Leave just as is this very instant, aware, Relaxed. Beyond this there’s not a damn thing.
You’re serving each other by helping each other let go of fear.
About four hours and 55 minutes to about five hours two minutes. and there’s a great discussion to a father who lost his son to suicide. So powerful about our personalities and our souls and this being a job the soul needed to do and it being the sons souls gift to the fathers soul. Greece is one of our greatest teachers. It cracks open and lets the light in. It demands that we look at our relationship with life and our fear of death. It reveals the great healing power of love. Grieve! My God, grieve! Allow the human pain. Don’t hide it, just keep going through it.
Loss wounds the heart causing it to fall open. Love rushes into and out of the opening. It was probably there all along but you were busy with so many other things that you probably couldn’t feel it. Love rushes into the absence left by loss. That love brings inspired action if we move toward it instead of away, Our wounded hearts become full.
Imagine love, love watching over you like the waves on the shore.
Rumi: on the day I die, when I’m being carried to the grave, don’t weep. Don’t say, he’s gone, he’s gone. Death has nothing to do with going away. The sun sets and the moon sets but they are not gone. Death is it coming together. The tomb looks like a prison, but it’s really release into union. The human seed goes down in the ground like a Bucket into the well where Joseph is. It grows and comes up full of some unimagined beauty. Your mouth closes here and immediately opens with a shout of joy there.
Preparing the environment: calming music is good, but not to distract. Harper is perfect or something that they want in particular. Old favorites might make it difficult for them to let go, though.
Managing pain and consciousness so that you can be in loving awareness hopefully.
Pain captures your awareness. Become a where of your. Thought.Awareness is in your soul. Try to identify with the awareness, not the pain which is in your mind. It’s not easy to rest in awareness during pain. Try to love the pain by dying in the witness, the awareness, the soul, The soul loves everything so everything belongs. It’s all lovable.
Spend time each day contemplating death.
His Living Will called five wishes.
Spiritual and emotional desires, what he wants his loved ones to know etc.
I wish to die at home if that is possible
I wish to be cared for with kindness and cheerfulness
I wish to have pictures of my loved ones near my bed
I wish my family and friends to know that I love them
I wish for my family and friends to know that I did not fear death itself.
I wish people could think of me before it became seriously ill
I was for my friends to respect my wishes even if they don’t agree with me
I wish for my family and friends to think of my dying at a Time for growth for everyone including me.
I wish my friends and family would be around me at the time that I’m dying but at the very end I’d like to be alone with my husband.
Giving up attachment. Monks used to be required to spend the night with the decaying body in the cemetery so they could loosen there attachment to the body and see it’s a femoral or changing nature. Let go to the attachment of life being in the body so that during the dying process the amounts will be attentive to The transformational moments.
The Greatway is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When not attached to love and hate all is clear and undisguised. Separate by the smallest amount, however, and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth.
a practice for preparing yourself for letting go is months before you think you’ll die making a list of all the foods that you eat and one by one giving them up forever. By the time you’re just drinking water, letting go is probably pretty easy. Throw pinecones into the fire, representing what you are attached to and want to give up. Besides giving up attachment to certain people and things, there is also the attachment to life it self. The desire to keep on living.
you want to prepare to be like a Bird sitting on a rock, ready to fly with nothing holding you back. Best way to prepare? Meditate to learn to be in the moment. Being in nature is helpful, watching the things rotting and growing
Live in the soul then you’ll be ready for the moment of death.
Why should we meditate? To prepare for death. Death is a rite of passage. We start out identified with the body and the ego. Then as we begin to let go of the physical plane, and begin to identify with the soul, We could be held by having people with us for a loving, Who have faith in the process, and who know it is absolutely safe. They are there wishing us well and being love, talking about all the wonderful things that we have done in our life to keep us positive.
The soul has experienced many deaths, so The more gracefully and fully you can identify with soul, The less you will fear.
The art is to let go before you die so that when you die, there is no letting go required. One who sees the way in the morning can gladly die in the evening. Die before you die so that when you die, you need not die. What is phone now, is found them. If you find nothing now, you’ll simply end up with an apartment in the city of death. But if you make love with the divine now then in the next life you’ll have the face of satisfied desire.
Journey into our true home. I wanted to go there for a while now. Sometimes I have to work to stay here. I know our home in this world is not our real home, That it’s a temporary shelter and that as much as we like it, we have to give it up. Our real home is in the soul. Awareness of death is a way To awaken to this truth and to lead a happier life
Feeling of heaviness when the earth element leaves.
Experience of dryness when the water element leaves
The experience of coldness when the heat element leaves
The feeling that the outbreath is longer than the inbreath as the air element leaves
Practices for conscious living, being with a dying, and your own death: read, meditate (become fully conscious each moment. Expect nothing and be ready for anything. Persist even through feelings of boredom. Become and don’t make too much of any experience, just stick with it. Sit quietly and just be with what is: if you’re hot you’re hot. If something hurts so be it. Bring your awareness to your breath, the texture, temperature, duration as it comes in and out of your nostrils. When your mind wanders, simply bring it back to your breath. Imagine a sky before you with clouds coming and going. Imagine the sky is mirrored within you. Every bit of you is clouds coming and going. Keep focusing on the vast sky that is not changing anyway by the clouds. Now imagine an immense ocean waves rising up
Begin by generating a feeling of kindness toward yourself. Say or think several times, May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected. May i be free of mental suffering and distress. May I be happy. May I be free of physical pain and suffering. May i be healthy and strong. May I be able to live in this world happily, Peacefully, joyfully, with ease. Next director attention to a person who invites feelings of pure unconditional love and kindness in you. 10 focus your attention on a person you regard as a dear friend and repeat the phrases again. Then move onto a neutral person, someone you feel neither strong like nor dislike. Then focus on a difficult person. Then meditate on all beings. May all beings be safe etc.
Just like me compassion meditation. Begin by becoming aware there’s another person in front of you, just like you. While looking at your partner in the eye repeat the following phrase:
This person has a body and mind just like me
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts just like me
This person has experience physical and emotional suffering just like me
This person has at sometime bit sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt just like me
This person has felt unworthy or inadequate just like me
This person worries or is frightened sometimes just like
This person will die just like me
This person have longed for friendship just like me
This person is learning about life just like me
This person wants to be caring and kind to others just like me
This person wants to be content with what life has given them just like me
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering just like me
This person was just to be safe and healthy just like me
This person which is to be happy just like me
This person wishes to be loved just like me
Now allow wishes for well-being to arrive: I wish I wish this person to have the strength resources, and social support they need to navigate the difficulties in life with ease
I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering
I wish this person to be peaceful and happy
I wish this person to be loved because
This person is a fellow human being just like me
Afterwards, thank you partner with a bow or in whatever way feels right
Spiritual estate. or an ethical or spiritual legacy as opposed to the goods we leave behind. By telling stories of your life. They teach and heal.
Sitting with the dying. Death is the ultimate fear. Learning how to sit with it is the only way. When you’re afraid of something come as close up to it as you can. Watching your reactivity and resistance, noticing the boundaries. Sitting with them it’s important to be fearless so that you can let them know that the process of dying is completely safe
Imagine Jesus, Mary, light, or truth to enter through the crown of your head and become one with you. Imagine that your souls are inseparable and imagine the love radiating from your union. Ask this being to stay with you through your transition. Know that you are loving awareness
Prayer or mantra as you’re letting go and leaving your body. Or you could have people at your bedside pray or chant.
I am not this body.
I am not these eyes and what they see. I am loving awareness.
Pause and rest there.
I am not these years and what they hear. I am loving awareness.
Go down through body.
I am not this mouth and when it tastes. I am loving awareness.
Gondown all the way and end with...
I am not this body. I am loving awareness.
I am not these thoughts, I am loving awareness. I am not these memories. Anything else.
There are a lot of good questions, some real nuggets of answers. The structure felt so randomly conversations, though, which they admit right in the title. Had it been less informally structured and therefore less repetitive, it would have seemed better to me
If I’m going to die the best way for me to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. If I’m going to live, the best way for me to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart.
Getting close to what you fear takes courage. As long as you think you’re vulnerable, you’re going to be afraid. When you’re afraid, come up as close to it as possible. Get as close to it as you can, noticing the resistance. Resistance intensifies fear. Just be with it, don’t grab or push it away. Notice. Be close to suffering, let go of judgments and control. Be done with superiority and western pity.
The root of fear is separateness. All things everywhere since the beginning of time are connected and one. That’s why psychedelics help. The antidote to fear is love.
Once when she thought she was going to die because of some drug she had taken, she panicked saying no no no no no no until finally she remembered she could Just bring her attention to your natural breath and let everything slow up. She said goodbye to her husband, to her sister, to her friends, her home, the stars. But when her son came up she couldn’t. She had more mothering to do, more living to do. There’s a time when death comes knocking and it’s wrong as well as useless to resist. But now was not that time. Anais Nin “ we postpone death by living, by suffering by error by risking by giving by losing.” She postponed it by watching her breath.
When there’s openness, no boundary between me and others, When it turns out that I am literally others and others are me, then love and connection is easy and natural. We can intentionally transform our separateness and invite connectedness by practicing compassion and love. The more we live in the soul, the more we see love everywhere we look.
Patience is the antidote to anger.
Love is viral, it’s contagious, it’s a public health issue. We grow into love by the familiar practices: be here now, learn to let go of attachments, cultivate compassion and loving kindness, and dive into loving awareness over and over again. Read into and out of your spiritual heart thinking I am loving awareness as a mantra. Being love is the best preparation for death, nowhere to go, Nothing to fear, just loving awareness unchanging as everything around me changes moment to moment.
I am ... loving awareness. (Mantra)
Death is a moment and how you spend your Life each moment is a rehearsal for your death. It’s called be here now
I’m changing my to do list from the tasks I faithfully work through every week to tell friends what I love about them, die without regrets.
You can’t take away death but you can be there in love and comfort.
Finally I was able to cry, Not at the sadness of the loss, but at the presence of pure and perfect love that Maharaji had awakened in us which I felt in this gathering of hearts. Love everyone, he had said, and at that moment, I did.
The most fascinating experience in life: dying. You’ve got to approach your dying the way you live your life with curiosity, with hope,with fascination, with courage, and with the help of your friends. I am determined to give death a better name or die trying You’ve got to take charge of it, plan it, talk to your friends about it.
How I can tell you is… As good as this is that it’s going to be better and I will be with you wherever you go. That’s what he told his dad before he went into surgery as an 80 year old. As he got older he said to let go of his need for power and to control him and he was very old he let go more and more until he was just a silent, smiling Buddha, an angel. Held hands, watch the sunset, massaged him.
There came a moment when she gave up surrendered and it was like watching an egg breaking open. And seeing a radiantly beautiful being emerge. She was clear and present and joyful. Always at some level she had known herself to be this being but she had been too busy all her adult life to recognize it. Now she opened to this beautiful being in her core and she basked in the radiance.She was no longer busy dying, she was just being and dying was happening.
When everything seems like just too much for a dying friend, he said that’s because you’re trying to pour so much into it such a small container. What do you say we try to expand together? So they held hands Closed their eyes and he said do you hear my voice? Let it be inside you. Do you hear the children playing outside? Let them be inside you. Do you hear the clock ticking? Let it be inside you. And they kept expanding and expanding. Now you know what I know. Have a good death. And she did a couple hours later.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is sit by the bedside and meditate. Be in rocklike silence. That make space for Truth to enter the room.
When the mind is still then Truth gets her chance to be heard in the purity of the silence. Death is but a changing of our robes to wait in wedding garments at the eternal’s gate.
What looks like falling can largely be experienced as falling upward and onward into a broader and deeper world where the soul has found its fullness and has finally connected to the whole.
Learning to be a loving presence for the dying is a practice. Even without training, you can be a comforting presence. Be natural and relaxed. Learn to feel comfortable with silence. Sit close to the person – They will feel your presence. Lots of thoughts and emotions will come up just like during meditation. The practice is to notice what you were thinking and feeling and without judging yourself to bring your attention back to the person who’s dying. The intimacy of the connection becomes a soul to soul lifeline. The quiet appreciation of the total situation and possibilities steadily move things forward. The challenge is to remain in a state of compassion, reverence for life, and acceptance of death. Letting the dying person know that you know they are dying and resting in loving awareness with them. Smile often. Gentle light touch. Radiate love. Maybe climb into bed if close enough. The most important thing is to hold the person in your heart with love.
Be yourself. Be compassionately present. Be humble. Be with each moment. Have confidence in the dying process, trust in the unfolding. Don’t lose your sense of humor. Expect nothing and be ready for anything. Let go of your own fears. Follow the lead of a dying person. Practice sacred listening. Don’t talk about the afterlife unless you’re asked. Most of all be love, send love.
Listen to their beliefs sadness fears questions about meaning and purpose and all of that. Listen. They are working this out. It’s important to say goodbye , To reassure the dying person that that was left behind will miss them but that they will be all right. It’s OK to let go. You’re not alone. Releasing the dying person from concern is a great gift at this time.
Identify with being rather than doing if you are just starting to feel helpless. The doctors are doing. You are being. Be love. A loving rock. Loving awareness.
It’s interesting to notice as loved ones change how much we often hold onto who they used to be. As they approach their death, they’re changing very rapidly. Imagine you’re meeting a dying friend or loved one for the first time each time you see them, giving up expectations and judgments of the past. Every day is different, new. It’s a precious opportunity to learn about death but only if you can let go of fear and anxiety. Remember that you are sore. Return to the dying with loving awareness.
Don’t ruminate about the past.
Don’t anticipate the future.
Don’t cogitate about the present.
Leave just as is this very instant, aware, Relaxed. Beyond this there’s not a damn thing.
You’re serving each other by helping each other let go of fear.
About four hours and 55 minutes to about five hours two minutes. and there’s a great discussion to a father who lost his son to suicide. So powerful about our personalities and our souls and this being a job the soul needed to do and it being the sons souls gift to the fathers soul. Greece is one of our greatest teachers. It cracks open and lets the light in. It demands that we look at our relationship with life and our fear of death. It reveals the great healing power of love. Grieve! My God, grieve! Allow the human pain. Don’t hide it, just keep going through it.
Loss wounds the heart causing it to fall open. Love rushes into and out of the opening. It was probably there all along but you were busy with so many other things that you probably couldn’t feel it. Love rushes into the absence left by loss. That love brings inspired action if we move toward it instead of away, Our wounded hearts become full.
Imagine love, love watching over you like the waves on the shore.
Rumi: on the day I die, when I’m being carried to the grave, don’t weep. Don’t say, he’s gone, he’s gone. Death has nothing to do with going away. The sun sets and the moon sets but they are not gone. Death is it coming together. The tomb looks like a prison, but it’s really release into union. The human seed goes down in the ground like a Bucket into the well where Joseph is. It grows and comes up full of some unimagined beauty. Your mouth closes here and immediately opens with a shout of joy there.
Preparing the environment: calming music is good, but not to distract. Harper is perfect or something that they want in particular. Old favorites might make it difficult for them to let go, though.
Managing pain and consciousness so that you can be in loving awareness hopefully.
Pain captures your awareness. Become a where of your. Thought.Awareness is in your soul. Try to identify with the awareness, not the pain which is in your mind. It’s not easy to rest in awareness during pain. Try to love the pain by dying in the witness, the awareness, the soul, The soul loves everything so everything belongs. It’s all lovable.
Spend time each day contemplating death.
His Living Will called five wishes.
Spiritual and emotional desires, what he wants his loved ones to know etc.
I wish to die at home if that is possible
I wish to be cared for with kindness and cheerfulness
I wish to have pictures of my loved ones near my bed
I wish my family and friends to know that I love them
I wish for my family and friends to know that I did not fear death itself.
I wish people could think of me before it became seriously ill
I was for my friends to respect my wishes even if they don’t agree with me
I wish for my family and friends to think of my dying at a Time for growth for everyone including me.
I wish my friends and family would be around me at the time that I’m dying but at the very end I’d like to be alone with my husband.
Giving up attachment. Monks used to be required to spend the night with the decaying body in the cemetery so they could loosen there attachment to the body and see it’s a femoral or changing nature. Let go to the attachment of life being in the body so that during the dying process the amounts will be attentive to The transformational moments.
The Greatway is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When not attached to love and hate all is clear and undisguised. Separate by the smallest amount, however, and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth.
a practice for preparing yourself for letting go is months before you think you’ll die making a list of all the foods that you eat and one by one giving them up forever. By the time you’re just drinking water, letting go is probably pretty easy. Throw pinecones into the fire, representing what you are attached to and want to give up. Besides giving up attachment to certain people and things, there is also the attachment to life it self. The desire to keep on living.
you want to prepare to be like a Bird sitting on a rock, ready to fly with nothing holding you back. Best way to prepare? Meditate to learn to be in the moment. Being in nature is helpful, watching the things rotting and growing
Live in the soul then you’ll be ready for the moment of death.
Why should we meditate? To prepare for death. Death is a rite of passage. We start out identified with the body and the ego. Then as we begin to let go of the physical plane, and begin to identify with the soul, We could be held by having people with us for a loving, Who have faith in the process, and who know it is absolutely safe. They are there wishing us well and being love, talking about all the wonderful things that we have done in our life to keep us positive.
The soul has experienced many deaths, so The more gracefully and fully you can identify with soul, The less you will fear.
The art is to let go before you die so that when you die, there is no letting go required. One who sees the way in the morning can gladly die in the evening. Die before you die so that when you die, you need not die. What is phone now, is found them. If you find nothing now, you’ll simply end up with an apartment in the city of death. But if you make love with the divine now then in the next life you’ll have the face of satisfied desire.
Journey into our true home. I wanted to go there for a while now. Sometimes I have to work to stay here. I know our home in this world is not our real home, That it’s a temporary shelter and that as much as we like it, we have to give it up. Our real home is in the soul. Awareness of death is a way To awaken to this truth and to lead a happier life
Feeling of heaviness when the earth element leaves.
Experience of dryness when the water element leaves
The experience of coldness when the heat element leaves
The feeling that the outbreath is longer than the inbreath as the air element leaves
Practices for conscious living, being with a dying, and your own death: read, meditate (become fully conscious each moment. Expect nothing and be ready for anything. Persist even through feelings of boredom. Become and don’t make too much of any experience, just stick with it. Sit quietly and just be with what is: if you’re hot you’re hot. If something hurts so be it. Bring your awareness to your breath, the texture, temperature, duration as it comes in and out of your nostrils. When your mind wanders, simply bring it back to your breath. Imagine a sky before you with clouds coming and going. Imagine the sky is mirrored within you. Every bit of you is clouds coming and going. Keep focusing on the vast sky that is not changing anyway by the clouds. Now imagine an immense ocean waves rising up
Begin by generating a feeling of kindness toward yourself. Say or think several times, May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected. May i be free of mental suffering and distress. May I be happy. May I be free of physical pain and suffering. May i be healthy and strong. May I be able to live in this world happily, Peacefully, joyfully, with ease. Next director attention to a person who invites feelings of pure unconditional love and kindness in you. 10 focus your attention on a person you regard as a dear friend and repeat the phrases again. Then move onto a neutral person, someone you feel neither strong like nor dislike. Then focus on a difficult person. Then meditate on all beings. May all beings be safe etc.
Just like me compassion meditation. Begin by becoming aware there’s another person in front of you, just like you. While looking at your partner in the eye repeat the following phrase:
This person has a body and mind just like me
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts just like me
This person has experience physical and emotional suffering just like me
This person has at sometime bit sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt just like me
This person has felt unworthy or inadequate just like me
This person worries or is frightened sometimes just like
This person will die just like me
This person have longed for friendship just like me
This person is learning about life just like me
This person wants to be caring and kind to others just like me
This person wants to be content with what life has given them just like me
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering just like me
This person was just to be safe and healthy just like me
This person which is to be happy just like me
This person wishes to be loved just like me
Now allow wishes for well-being to arrive: I wish I wish this person to have the strength resources, and social support they need to navigate the difficulties in life with ease
I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering
I wish this person to be peaceful and happy
I wish this person to be loved because
This person is a fellow human being just like me
Afterwards, thank you partner with a bow or in whatever way feels right
Spiritual estate. or an ethical or spiritual legacy as opposed to the goods we leave behind. By telling stories of your life. They teach and heal.
Sitting with the dying. Death is the ultimate fear. Learning how to sit with it is the only way. When you’re afraid of something come as close up to it as you can. Watching your reactivity and resistance, noticing the boundaries. Sitting with them it’s important to be fearless so that you can let them know that the process of dying is completely safe
Imagine Jesus, Mary, light, or truth to enter through the crown of your head and become one with you. Imagine that your souls are inseparable and imagine the love radiating from your union. Ask this being to stay with you through your transition. Know that you are loving awareness
Prayer or mantra as you’re letting go and leaving your body. Or you could have people at your bedside pray or chant.
I am not this body.
I am not these eyes and what they see. I am loving awareness.
Pause and rest there.
I am not these years and what they hear. I am loving awareness.
Go down through body.
I am not this mouth and when it tastes. I am loving awareness.
Gondown all the way and end with...
I am not this body. I am loving awareness.
I am not these thoughts, I am loving awareness. I am not these memories. Anything else.
May 10, 2023
Nice thoughts about love and death but the format was not great and the writing was a little boring. Loved the idea not so much the execution.
June 10, 2023
I feel a welcomed sense of acceptance, peace and understanding for having read and experienced this book’s many moving passages ( maybe a lifting of fear?). A tough subject, Ram Dass applies his “ Be Here Now” lens to the subject of one’s own dying, as well as reframing how can we move through grieving the loss of our loved ones. It is written as a conversation between the two co-authors, Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush.
“Grief is part of the fabric of the human incarnation. Grief helps us accept the profound sadness of loss, and then folds it into the wholeness of life. You don’t heal from grief. You reconnect with your loving soul, which was never grieving, never traumatized, always free.” - Ram Dass
Essentially- death, like birth, are moments, as real as the avalanche of all of the moments that accumulate into the pool of our lifetime. What is important is to be fully in, present, during as many of those moments as we can.
I did skim over some of the passages, I thought it became a little repetitive- but the accounts of the deaths which Ram Dass was present for was quite interesting. Timothy Leary was one of his dearest friends- and the chapter on his death was a little amusing, as you’d expect, with Leary slipping away peacefully while chanting “why not” in different intonations! If I am able to remember this, I might give that a shot!
“Grief is part of the fabric of the human incarnation. Grief helps us accept the profound sadness of loss, and then folds it into the wholeness of life. You don’t heal from grief. You reconnect with your loving soul, which was never grieving, never traumatized, always free.” - Ram Dass
Essentially- death, like birth, are moments, as real as the avalanche of all of the moments that accumulate into the pool of our lifetime. What is important is to be fully in, present, during as many of those moments as we can.
I did skim over some of the passages, I thought it became a little repetitive- but the accounts of the deaths which Ram Dass was present for was quite interesting. Timothy Leary was one of his dearest friends- and the chapter on his death was a little amusing, as you’d expect, with Leary slipping away peacefully while chanting “why not” in different intonations! If I am able to remember this, I might give that a shot!
January 21, 2019
https://rogueliterarysociety.com/f/wa...
Many of the spiritual ideas and ensuing guidance read in this book I previously have already considered. Some points made by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush I reject and others I am still considering. However, there are many Ram Dass positions that I do believe. But for a person who thinks this life is it, that this life is all he has and that the worms will get him just as they get everyone else, the importance of reading this book becomes paramount given the opportunity to reassess his beliefs and to possibly consider another’s. The following notes are what caught my attention in this book and in no way frame my current state of mind regarding this matter. I am simply willing to take another look at something we all must eventually address if we are lucky enough to consciously decide to do so.
If I’m going to die, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. If I’m going to live, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart.
Maharaj-ji said nobody dies a moment before their time, and nobody remains a moment after it.
Death comes without warning.
Healing is not about getting back to the way things were, but about learning to live with how they are.
I knew that when my body dies, awareness goes on.
In spiritual evolution, you don’t destroy the ego; rather, you stop identifying with it.
The dying that opens us to life is the letting go of our attachment to our desires and to the fruits of our actions—living life as it is, not as we want it to be; learning to simply be with what Aldous Huxley called “the miracle of naked existence,” not trying to control what we can’t control.
...the opposite of death is birth. The beginning and the end are two sacred events, and in between it is all impermanent.
The ego asks, ‘Why not live for the moment? Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you will die.’ But if instead you live in the moment, being here now, discovering the preciousness of life in each moment, then you are living, not as an ego, but as a soul, outside time.
If we love well, we will die well. Making peace with death and being fully in the moment allows us to lose ourselves in love, in the love of the beauty and awe of the manifestation of God, in the love of ourselves and others, and in the love of everything else—the suffering, the pain, the joy. We can’t know when we will die, and living without knowing requires surrender, surrendering our hope and fear so we can open our hearts to life and let compassion grow. Then when death comes, we are ready to go into love, into the Light, toward the One.
...all assure me that a soul leaves the physical plane neither a moment too early nor a moment too late. For most of us on earth who so strongly identify with our own bodies and personalities, this is hard to accept.
It’s interesting to notice, as loved ones change, how much we often hold on to who they used to be.
...everyone loses people they love. I am like everyone else. That has helped me to let go of my grief. I have laid my baby to rest…
I climb the stairs, reminded once again that death is inevitable, grief is natural, and we can learn from it and grow.
For your soul, suffering is that which forces you to grow spiritually and brings you closer to awakening to who you in truth are.
...Grief is one of our greatest teachers. It cracks us open—that’s how the light gets in...
We begin to move from mourning to remembering.
I wish people to think about me as I was before I became seriously ill. This is just my body...However you think about it, you have to let go of your name, your history, your friends, your body, your intellect, your desire for beauty—and become one with your individual soul, because death is the extinction of your self. It’s the death of who you know yourself to be, and there is no way the mind can grapple with the extinction of itself.
Whether or not you believe in reincarnation or even heaven, prepare yourself by letting go of self-judgment and regret to be as peaceful, receptive, and loving as possible during your last moment.
...love your past no matter what it is; no matter how painful, to see your life as a story and simply love it without judgment. Ram Dass responds, “You may see that you could have done some things better, but the core practice is to love it all, to accept it all, to love yourself and your story.”
Many of the spiritual ideas and ensuing guidance read in this book I previously have already considered. Some points made by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush I reject and others I am still considering. However, there are many Ram Dass positions that I do believe. But for a person who thinks this life is it, that this life is all he has and that the worms will get him just as they get everyone else, the importance of reading this book becomes paramount given the opportunity to reassess his beliefs and to possibly consider another’s. The following notes are what caught my attention in this book and in no way frame my current state of mind regarding this matter. I am simply willing to take another look at something we all must eventually address if we are lucky enough to consciously decide to do so.
If I’m going to die, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. If I’m going to live, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart.
Maharaj-ji said nobody dies a moment before their time, and nobody remains a moment after it.
Death comes without warning.
Healing is not about getting back to the way things were, but about learning to live with how they are.
I knew that when my body dies, awareness goes on.
In spiritual evolution, you don’t destroy the ego; rather, you stop identifying with it.
The dying that opens us to life is the letting go of our attachment to our desires and to the fruits of our actions—living life as it is, not as we want it to be; learning to simply be with what Aldous Huxley called “the miracle of naked existence,” not trying to control what we can’t control.
...the opposite of death is birth. The beginning and the end are two sacred events, and in between it is all impermanent.
The ego asks, ‘Why not live for the moment? Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you will die.’ But if instead you live in the moment, being here now, discovering the preciousness of life in each moment, then you are living, not as an ego, but as a soul, outside time.
If we love well, we will die well. Making peace with death and being fully in the moment allows us to lose ourselves in love, in the love of the beauty and awe of the manifestation of God, in the love of ourselves and others, and in the love of everything else—the suffering, the pain, the joy. We can’t know when we will die, and living without knowing requires surrender, surrendering our hope and fear so we can open our hearts to life and let compassion grow. Then when death comes, we are ready to go into love, into the Light, toward the One.
...all assure me that a soul leaves the physical plane neither a moment too early nor a moment too late. For most of us on earth who so strongly identify with our own bodies and personalities, this is hard to accept.
It’s interesting to notice, as loved ones change, how much we often hold on to who they used to be.
...everyone loses people they love. I am like everyone else. That has helped me to let go of my grief. I have laid my baby to rest…
I climb the stairs, reminded once again that death is inevitable, grief is natural, and we can learn from it and grow.
For your soul, suffering is that which forces you to grow spiritually and brings you closer to awakening to who you in truth are.
...Grief is one of our greatest teachers. It cracks us open—that’s how the light gets in...
We begin to move from mourning to remembering.
I wish people to think about me as I was before I became seriously ill. This is just my body...However you think about it, you have to let go of your name, your history, your friends, your body, your intellect, your desire for beauty—and become one with your individual soul, because death is the extinction of your self. It’s the death of who you know yourself to be, and there is no way the mind can grapple with the extinction of itself.
Whether or not you believe in reincarnation or even heaven, prepare yourself by letting go of self-judgment and regret to be as peaceful, receptive, and loving as possible during your last moment.
...love your past no matter what it is; no matter how painful, to see your life as a story and simply love it without judgment. Ram Dass responds, “You may see that you could have done some things better, but the core practice is to love it all, to accept it all, to love yourself and your story.”
August 16, 2024
Truly PHENOMENAL. I need everyone to read this book
April 8, 2020
”If we love well, we will die well. Making peace with death and being fully in the moment allows us to lose ourselves in love, in the love of the beauty and awe of the manifestation of God, in the love of ourselves and others, and in the love of everything else – the suffering, the pain, the joy. We can’t know when we will die, and living without knowing requires surrender, surrendering our hope and fear so we can open our hearts to life and compassion grow. Then when death comes, we are read to go into love, into the Light toward the One.”
It was the title of this book that really caught my attention. The thought of being with one another and walking together is a beautiful image. I would like to be able to walk my loved ones to their final destination. We will see what actually happens, but this image made me want to read this book.
I have known of Ram Dass since I was in college. I admired him, but for a long time the differences between his mysticism and my Christianity made it hard for me to be open to his thinking. My brain and heart have expanded and I can tune into what he is saying with more openness.
Death is not an easy topic to think about. I don’t want to imagine an end to all that I enjoy on this planet. But none of us get out alive, so it is important to prepare and to consider what we want to happen at the end. You may not agree with everything that Das and Bush have to say in this book, but reading it will give you something to react to and then you might have a better idea of what death looks like to you. I found their words interesting and they opened me up to the possibilities of seeing death as another opportunity to love one another.
Ram Dass died in December 2019. I hope he achieved his wishes with his death.
It was the title of this book that really caught my attention. The thought of being with one another and walking together is a beautiful image. I would like to be able to walk my loved ones to their final destination. We will see what actually happens, but this image made me want to read this book.
I have known of Ram Dass since I was in college. I admired him, but for a long time the differences between his mysticism and my Christianity made it hard for me to be open to his thinking. My brain and heart have expanded and I can tune into what he is saying with more openness.
Death is not an easy topic to think about. I don’t want to imagine an end to all that I enjoy on this planet. But none of us get out alive, so it is important to prepare and to consider what we want to happen at the end. You may not agree with everything that Das and Bush have to say in this book, but reading it will give you something to react to and then you might have a better idea of what death looks like to you. I found their words interesting and they opened me up to the possibilities of seeing death as another opportunity to love one another.
Ram Dass died in December 2019. I hope he achieved his wishes with his death.
October 1, 2019
A good conversation starter for discussing the inevitable for all of us. I'm not a guru follower myself, but do share Ram Dass' perspective of the how we are all part of a greater 'consciousness' or whatever your concept of god(s) might be. I especially like the ice cube metaphor (p. 60) for our passing, i.e. that we are each, physically and metaphysically, like an ice cube (although I would say snowflake) that melts into the ocean when we pass away, the ocean being the Universal Consciousness.
October 15, 2023
A jewel of a book that everyone should read and deepen into their lives before dying. We usually forget that we are going to die, so this book reminds us of that in an extremely loving, heartwarming and understanding way. We have to learn how to prepare for it so we can transition peacefully and joyfully. It dispels the fears towards it, while also letting us understand more about grief and pain. Recommended to everyone who shall die 💛
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October 6, 2020The topic of death is sensitive. It could bring out feelings of fear & grief or of love & acceptance or all of these together. I listened to the audio-book (~7 hours duration). There are no definitive answers in this book as no one knows how is it to die. I liked that they just shared their knowledge and learnings rather than providing definitive answers. We need to talk to ourselves daily on this topic to navigate through the feelings and emotions that this universal truth props in us. I many religions and cultures, the topic of death is seen as inauspicious or negative. This leads to several unresolved issues among the people. Death happens to everyone and so does birth. If there will be no death, there will be no space for any births. It is not a bad thing, but an event that happens to all the living beings on this planet sooner or later. Love is the answer to the fear that death generates. Love for all, for each and everyone without judging. As Ramdass says-We are walking each other home..Merrily merrily merrily!! We are all in this together, no one is alone. This book got me started to think about and explore the topic of death. I know people I can't imagine my world without will go someday. I will die and the people who love me will be here without me. I want them to know, I understood it and they walked me merrily to the home and I will walk with them till I am here. Its all about the LOve. <3 <3
December 3, 2023
This writing on death and dying and life defies description for me. Gentle, loving, peaceful, full of wonder
January 26, 2025
Good bits but just too long /rambly
March 1, 2024
Definitely some interesting perspective to our ego/body versus our soul. Individuality versus collective. Death does not need to be fear based. A nice read.
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September 17, 2025I started this at 6:30 a.m. in Virginia and finished at 2:22 in South Carolina and now I’m at my Gramma’s house and ready to go to sleep. Really really good book. A beautiful bracing listen.
Or maybe it was Georgia. Anyway the first nineish hours of the day’s drive.
Or maybe it was Georgia. Anyway the first nineish hours of the day’s drive.
September 21, 2024
If you have lost, or are nearing the loss of a loved one, which we will all experience here on earth, I recommend reading this book with an open mind to gain insight and find peace. This book has helped me gain a deeper understanding of grief, love, and death, in such a real, immediate, and personal way. Mirabai visited Ram throughout his last months on earth, as I visited my mother during hers. Mirabai and I both sitting painfully present with them in hopes to learn as much as we could from such wise souls stuck in decaying human bodies. I felt closely connected to the story, the words, the wisdom, and experiences. Such a beautiful profound timeless piece of work, as death is something we will all be forced to come face to face with. I don’t want to spoil anything so I won’t go on any further. This may be because it paralleled my experience with my mother, but this was one of my favourite books I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.
November 28, 2023
I found this book so valuable that I read it twice back to back, once in book form (the print version is beautiful!) and once on audio, read by co-author Mirabai Bush (not to be confused with Mirabai Starr, whom Ram Dass also collaborated with). Her narration is so touching. You can feel her reliving the book's creation as she reads it.
Ram Dass is about 20 years into his stroke at this point, and he asks Mirabai to come to his house in Maui and they'll have a series of conversations about death and she'll make everything into a book.
Like all of Ram Dass' works, I wouldn't have been able to hear what he was saying when I was younger. He can get pretty woo-woo, and his belief about what he thinks it'll be like after he dies — given at the book's end — is bonkers, in my view. To me, it's his way of comforting himself as death awaits just a few months away. But, if you pinned me down and made me say what I believed in a book, I know I'd sound just as weird to anyone not inside my head.
But this book is a marvel. Among its fascinating sections are great death stories about Aldous Huxley (I've added "Island to my to-read list; apparently Huxley dies like a character in the book), Timothy Leary and Ram Dass's step-mom.
All of Ram Dass's works are practical. You'll also get tips on how to sit with someone who is dying, book recommendations (and the song recommendation: Tom Waits' "Last Leaf"), meditation techniques, and serious responses to people's weird questions about death.
And you'll also get deep thoughts about how your body is just a temporary vessel (he often refers to it as a spacesuit) and how there's an underlying Oneness that includes the real you. He quotes C.S. Lewis as saying, "I don't have a soul; I am a soul. I have a body." Sam Harris would refer to this "soul" as the consciousness that precedes and contains everything. Ram Dass is happy to also call it God. Different people connect with Oneness in different ways; the more you feel separate, the more you suffer, while the more you feel one with everyone and every thing, the more you feel joy — and don't fear death.
A few excerpts:
* Ram Dass's essential teachings: Love everyone, tell the truth, give up attachment to material things.
* How to be with someone who is dying: Be natural and relaxed. Learn to feel comfortable with silence. Sit close to the person. They will feel your presence. Just like in meditation, many thoughts and emotions will come up while you are sitting there. The practice is to notice what you are thinking and feeling and, without judging yourself, to bring your attention back to the person who is dying. ... It’s about identifying with being rather than doing. The doctors and nurses are doing. You can just be. Just be love—a loving rock, loving awareness.
* Who am I? We fear the loss of our identity, our individuality, our self as knower. Give it all up, and you come to know the soul. Knowing the soul isn’t about knowing anything esoteric or unknowable; it’s about releasing your need to know in the conventional way, giving up your sense of separation.
The soul teaches us that the root of fear is separateness. If we want to be free, we have to overcome separateness. But usually it feels like you are yelling out of your room, and I am yelling out of mine. Even trying to get out of the room invests the room with reality. Who am I? The room that the mind built.
Ram Dass is about 20 years into his stroke at this point, and he asks Mirabai to come to his house in Maui and they'll have a series of conversations about death and she'll make everything into a book.
Like all of Ram Dass' works, I wouldn't have been able to hear what he was saying when I was younger. He can get pretty woo-woo, and his belief about what he thinks it'll be like after he dies — given at the book's end — is bonkers, in my view. To me, it's his way of comforting himself as death awaits just a few months away. But, if you pinned me down and made me say what I believed in a book, I know I'd sound just as weird to anyone not inside my head.
But this book is a marvel. Among its fascinating sections are great death stories about Aldous Huxley (I've added "Island to my to-read list; apparently Huxley dies like a character in the book), Timothy Leary and Ram Dass's step-mom.
All of Ram Dass's works are practical. You'll also get tips on how to sit with someone who is dying, book recommendations (and the song recommendation: Tom Waits' "Last Leaf"), meditation techniques, and serious responses to people's weird questions about death.
And you'll also get deep thoughts about how your body is just a temporary vessel (he often refers to it as a spacesuit) and how there's an underlying Oneness that includes the real you. He quotes C.S. Lewis as saying, "I don't have a soul; I am a soul. I have a body." Sam Harris would refer to this "soul" as the consciousness that precedes and contains everything. Ram Dass is happy to also call it God. Different people connect with Oneness in different ways; the more you feel separate, the more you suffer, while the more you feel one with everyone and every thing, the more you feel joy — and don't fear death.
A few excerpts:
* Ram Dass's essential teachings: Love everyone, tell the truth, give up attachment to material things.
* How to be with someone who is dying: Be natural and relaxed. Learn to feel comfortable with silence. Sit close to the person. They will feel your presence. Just like in meditation, many thoughts and emotions will come up while you are sitting there. The practice is to notice what you are thinking and feeling and, without judging yourself, to bring your attention back to the person who is dying. ... It’s about identifying with being rather than doing. The doctors and nurses are doing. You can just be. Just be love—a loving rock, loving awareness.
* Who am I? We fear the loss of our identity, our individuality, our self as knower. Give it all up, and you come to know the soul. Knowing the soul isn’t about knowing anything esoteric or unknowable; it’s about releasing your need to know in the conventional way, giving up your sense of separation.
The soul teaches us that the root of fear is separateness. If we want to be free, we have to overcome separateness. But usually it feels like you are yelling out of your room, and I am yelling out of mine. Even trying to get out of the room invests the room with reality. Who am I? The room that the mind built.
January 19, 2025
"If I’m going to die, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart. If I’m going to live, the best way to prepare is to quiet my mind and open my heart."
Mantra - "I am loving awareness"
Death is unavoidable, in our society and working in healthcare it can feel like we fight it and avoid it at all costs. This perspective of acceptance and peace is a beautiful thing.
I loved the compassion meditation toward the end of the book, for people we have difficulties with:
"This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
This person has at some time been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me.
This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
This person will die, just like me.
This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
This person wants to be content with what life has given them, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
This person wishes to be loved, just like me.
Now, allow wishes for well-being to arise:
I wish this person to have the strength, resources, and social support they need to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering.
I wish this person to be peaceful and happy.
I wish this person to be loved . . . because this person is a fellow human being, just like me."
Momento mori.
Mantra - "I am loving awareness"
Death is unavoidable, in our society and working in healthcare it can feel like we fight it and avoid it at all costs. This perspective of acceptance and peace is a beautiful thing.
I loved the compassion meditation toward the end of the book, for people we have difficulties with:
"This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
This person has at some time been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me.
This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
This person will die, just like me.
This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
This person wants to be content with what life has given them, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
This person wishes to be loved, just like me.
Now, allow wishes for well-being to arise:
I wish this person to have the strength, resources, and social support they need to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering.
I wish this person to be peaceful and happy.
I wish this person to be loved . . . because this person is a fellow human being, just like me."
Momento mori.
September 17, 2022
Is there one book that really shaped your spiritual relationship with death?
The first time I read this book, “Walking Each Other Home” by @babaramdass & @mirabaibush , I was in the middle of an existential deep dive of all things Ram Dass. I fell hard for his blend of Buddhist mindfulness, mystical Hinduism and irreverent Judaism and reading this book was a little bittersweet - kind of like watching the reunion of a favorite TV show or reading the last book in a beloved series … but bigger. To hear Ram Dass speak to aging, dying and death as he grew closer to his own was deeply moving for me.
In this conversation between lifelong friends, Ram Dass & Mirabai Bush advise each other and us on how to be fully present with dying and the gifts we take away from that presence. They consider how we can help ourselves and others die consciously and gracefully and they remind us to stop and breathe in the utter joy of the simple pleasures of being here now.
I also listened to this on audio and it is such a treat to hear Mirabai Bush read this herself. Her intonation and conversational style made me feel like I was sitting in Hawaii with a cat in my lap and a ray of sunshine warming me, two good friends/spirit guides on either side.
If you’re interested in spirituality and death and connect to the teachings of Ram Dass, don’t skip this one. Even if his blend of cultural and spiritual traditions isn’t for you, the art makes this book a beautiful companion to flip through and it truly reads like an engaging and authentic conversation who love each other deeply, lived life well, and are comfortable venturing into the mystery of what lies ahead together. It’s such an honor that we’re invited in. IG:@the.farewell.library
The first time I read this book, “Walking Each Other Home” by @babaramdass & @mirabaibush , I was in the middle of an existential deep dive of all things Ram Dass. I fell hard for his blend of Buddhist mindfulness, mystical Hinduism and irreverent Judaism and reading this book was a little bittersweet - kind of like watching the reunion of a favorite TV show or reading the last book in a beloved series … but bigger. To hear Ram Dass speak to aging, dying and death as he grew closer to his own was deeply moving for me.
In this conversation between lifelong friends, Ram Dass & Mirabai Bush advise each other and us on how to be fully present with dying and the gifts we take away from that presence. They consider how we can help ourselves and others die consciously and gracefully and they remind us to stop and breathe in the utter joy of the simple pleasures of being here now.
I also listened to this on audio and it is such a treat to hear Mirabai Bush read this herself. Her intonation and conversational style made me feel like I was sitting in Hawaii with a cat in my lap and a ray of sunshine warming me, two good friends/spirit guides on either side.
If you’re interested in spirituality and death and connect to the teachings of Ram Dass, don’t skip this one. Even if his blend of cultural and spiritual traditions isn’t for you, the art makes this book a beautiful companion to flip through and it truly reads like an engaging and authentic conversation who love each other deeply, lived life well, and are comfortable venturing into the mystery of what lies ahead together. It’s such an honor that we’re invited in. IG:@the.farewell.library
March 4, 2019
No matter where you live, no matter if you are influential, rich or famous; we are all alike.
We were all born from the same "source" and we will all return to the same "source".
When our natural physical state leaves our body we are hopeful that we will not have to go through this transition alone. If we live our present life alone and don't let another into our 'inner sanctum", our transition will be painful, there will be much suffering and purification in the letting go process.
It is good to begin our conversation on loving and dying in the present moment. Now is the time and if we keep delaying and denying our true self, the end of our earthly journey will be filled with much anxiety.
Ram Dass ( born Richard Alpert) and Mirabai Bush in their conversations on loving and dying, offer us a way to explore our deepest self. Together they give us a glimpse of what to expect when our physical body releases itself and our spirit moves on. Why are they knowledgeable in this mystery of all mysteries, you may ask? One reason is that throughout their journey they have listened to their deepest selves, they have explored possibilities, they have let go of attachments.
This doesn't happen in an instant, it takes many journeys to reach this "peak" but better to start now than to linger on in pain and distress. Both physical, mental and spiritual.
We were all born from the same "source" and we will all return to the same "source".
When our natural physical state leaves our body we are hopeful that we will not have to go through this transition alone. If we live our present life alone and don't let another into our 'inner sanctum", our transition will be painful, there will be much suffering and purification in the letting go process.
It is good to begin our conversation on loving and dying in the present moment. Now is the time and if we keep delaying and denying our true self, the end of our earthly journey will be filled with much anxiety.
Ram Dass ( born Richard Alpert) and Mirabai Bush in their conversations on loving and dying, offer us a way to explore our deepest self. Together they give us a glimpse of what to expect when our physical body releases itself and our spirit moves on. Why are they knowledgeable in this mystery of all mysteries, you may ask? One reason is that throughout their journey they have listened to their deepest selves, they have explored possibilities, they have let go of attachments.
This doesn't happen in an instant, it takes many journeys to reach this "peak" but better to start now than to linger on in pain and distress. Both physical, mental and spiritual.
December 9, 2020
Beautifully written perspectives on the difficult conversations we have with people who are approaching death. It is a topic that we often choose to avoid; we almost qualify it away, denying it out of our fear of the overwhelming emotions that it can bring when we do discuss it. The authors raised an interesting point by explaining that this can then isolate the person who is experiencing their moment to go, as it limits their expression of what they’re experiencing. They described this moment as a ‘returning’ to one source, where everything is initially created. I think this can be open to interpretation, notably for some, that may be the definition of ‘heaven,’ for others it may mean for your vessel to return to the ground to allow new life to flourish. This book had me checking in with myself, replaying moments I have had with people who are now gone. From this I’d like to take forward some of the practices they provide with me to improve. My one criticism would be that if you haven’t read a Ram Dass book before you might find it to waffle on a little, but I personally like that about his style - it feels more like a conversation to me. 4.5!
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August 1, 2020I wanted to really love this book, but it was just to woo-woo for me. A few things that I marked before I put it down:
pg xiii [about meditating]- I began to see the impermanence of thoughts and emotions as they rose and fell away, and I started taking them less seriously. I felt much less dependent on the ideas and opinions of others, and it gave me a kind of radical self-confidence, like I belonged here on the planet and would be able to understand how it was all unfolding. That's what it felt like. It gave me faith in the way things actually are and that they are okay even though much needs to be changed. I felt free."
xiv- We need to be instead of do, he said. We need to die as egos so we can live fully as souls, as the Buddha himself did.
5- I'm doing the work of sadhana: bringing up the past and loving it. Loving it as a thought. Letting go of regrets and loving the past for what it was and is. There's a difference between clinging to memories and reexperiencing them from present consciousness. They're all just thoughts. The key is to stay in your heart. Just keep loving.
pg xiii [about meditating]- I began to see the impermanence of thoughts and emotions as they rose and fell away, and I started taking them less seriously. I felt much less dependent on the ideas and opinions of others, and it gave me a kind of radical self-confidence, like I belonged here on the planet and would be able to understand how it was all unfolding. That's what it felt like. It gave me faith in the way things actually are and that they are okay even though much needs to be changed. I felt free."
xiv- We need to be instead of do, he said. We need to die as egos so we can live fully as souls, as the Buddha himself did.
5- I'm doing the work of sadhana: bringing up the past and loving it. Loving it as a thought. Letting go of regrets and loving the past for what it was and is. There's a difference between clinging to memories and reexperiencing them from present consciousness. They're all just thoughts. The key is to stay in your heart. Just keep loving.
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