Silent Squall

by Alfa Holden

Expanding upon the writings of her best selling book Abandoned Breaths, Alfa shares poignant poetry, quotes, and poetic prose, that delve deeper into how the story all began. "You will feel a trembling in your soul, and out of instinct you will pray to silence it. But do this for me... Do this for you. Quake sweet woman, quake."

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction

180 pages, Paperback

Published March 17, 2018

About the author

Alfa is a writer of poetic thoughts. She holds degrees in English Literature as well as Radiologic Sciences.

From a wide-planked porch in Kentucky, Alfa is most likely indulging in ice tea while painting a furniture piece some fabulous shade of turquoise, or crafting something extraordinary out of vintage buttons and brooches.

Reviews

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are poetry books that leave you breathless, and this is one of them. I am a huge fan of Alfa's work. Her experience and knowledge within her relationships, makes her writings raw and realistic. Alfa is known for writing prose, displaying heartache, and darkness on social media.

In this poetry collection, we see another side to Alfa, that leaves one full of sadness and hope for the future.

The theme and tone of Silent Squall is one of abuse and trauma. Alfa's poetry book is autobiographical; depicting her sixteen year marriage in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist, which is documented through gut-wrenching scenes and poems.
Bravo, Alfa. An exceptional poetry collection.

[Amanda Coleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so full of strength. Silent Squall is raw and honest, and still flows beautifully. I bought a second copy for my mother after reading it because I thought it would speak to her and her experiences. Alfa has a way of helping others heal with her words.

[Katelyn Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

She is definitely one of my favorite poets! The way she writes speaks to me so much and is the style I enjoy a lot. I have loved pretty much all of her work I have read so far - this being the 4th - and am looking forward to reading more in the future! Would highly recommend her poetry!

[Kristiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘It was him or me, and I decided – I wanted to live.’
Silent Squall was my first encounter with Alfa’s work. If I were to review the book in a few words, I would cite the journey I embarked upon from page one and the words I have been left with since. Alfa lives within these pages. She broke my heart (Flight), gifted me the parts large enough to piece back together (In the Air) and taught me how to do so (Landing).

In the author’s note, Alfa addresses a question she is often asked: ‘Why do you only write about love?’ She answers with the words – ‘Love trumps everything’ and in Silent Squall, this is the lesson she teaches. We are told a story about how love broke and abused her but we are taught that love can also save us, if we let it.

Flight
‘But, she will know her mother had layers that she never peeled back – for fear that her soul would seem chilly when unclothed.’
- Therapy Poems

Alfa opens honestly. It is painful but it is necessary. A few pieces in and her survival is palpable. ‘One day the leaves…’ (pg.24) explores how love changes its face. How hands made for holding can become fists. A smile becomes a snarl. The complexity of love is also captured by lines like ‘I spent most of our years together…trying to find a way out’ and ‘I have slept hungry an entire marriage.’ She opens our eyes, ears and hearts to the abuse she survived – she is honest, never gratuitous. ‘I cannot breathe’ (pg. 72) chilled me to the bone. The ‘angelic voice’ of her daughter kindled a fire in my belly and revealed to me how it feels to want to live, to want someone to survive.

In the Air
‘How to raise sons who respect women:
Never give them the opportunity
to see you disrespect yourself.’
- Therapy Poems

All of the ‘Therapy Poems’ in this part are outstanding. They continually remind us of the limbo between surviving and living. This is the beginning of recovery. As a result, this part feels muddled, methodically muddled. It is uncomfortable to read as we experience the taste of freedom and how the past is triggered; even when convinced she has run far enough away. Alfa does not try to strike a balance here. Instead, she lays out all her broken pieces and the parts she had learnt to hide.

Landing

Here we begin to truly feel those first words – ‘I wanted to live’. There is love, hope and Warrior Princess truth but by no means is it sunshine and rainbows. I adored how armed with metaphors (flowers in particular) her writing isn’t tinged with rose. From beginning to end, she gives us reality not romanticism.

We are often told there is light at the end of the tunnel. Alfa reveals how although this light exists; sometimes it is blinding, sometimes it glimmers gently and sometimes it is a candle guttering in the breeze. All you need to remember is the light still exists and love will lead you to it.

This book made me cry, frown, gasp, hope, laugh and smile. Alfa will remind you how sweet the taste of air is, how loud your heart pumps in your chest and how we are the calm and the storm.
 

[Candice Daquin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the third book of Alfa's I have read and in many ways, my favorite. How you ask can a book about marital abuse and suffering be a 'favorite' of anything? And therein lies Alfa's magic. She is able (and nimble) to discuss in poetry, subjects that most of us would shy away from and do so with such an honest immediacy we are drawn IN rather than away.
There is of course, pain, and haunting in reading about such experiences but not all negative experiences should be avoided. Part of healing is to face them and own them and this is Alfa's strength. She is unafraid to admit what she has endured (and survived) she is essentially the ultimate survivor for this reason. And if we cannot relate to this, I really don't know what we could relate to.
You don't have to have been in an abusive marriage to feel these words, you only have to appreciate good writing and poetry. The rest will fall into place. Poetry began with the expression of life, often times difficult life and Alfa has seized upon this core and made it her platform.
I worked with survivors of domestic abuse as a therapist and I can highly recommend this book for anyone who has experienced abuse (it doesn't have to be the same kind of abuse as there is a commonalty for all abuse survivors) a a book of healing and truth. You may think reading about someone else's experiences is reliving them, but part of healing is being open, and part is being hopeful. Alfa gives you both those things in her redemptive and powerful work.
Even if you have never experienced any kind of abuse, you will appreciate the steady oar of this author guiding you through her own experiences with a gentle light, and you will experience alongside her, the depths and truths of living - as well as the beauty of survival.
A stunning book that proves, speaking your truth should never be stifled.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are few times I will use the word “speechless.” My friends know that I rarely find myself that way. But, Silent Squall stole my breath as well as my words. In Alfa’s third book, she hits every emotion, and some you may have never even felt. The lines are raw and aching, and the book as a whole left me in awe of the woman who lived it and rose above.

With Abandoned Breaths, Alfa took us on a journey. Starting with Silent Squall, she delves a little deeper, showing us the dark that lies beneath the surface. She turns pain into poetry, telling a story of abuse and trauma, of heartbreak and loneliness, of hope and survival.

I was particularly drawn to the ‘therapy poems” scattered throughout the book. They give a little glimpse of what goes on in the mind of a woman in an abusive relationship. The blame and the hurt and the fear. The reasons they stay. Poetry is its own kind of therapy, and these pieces are powerful.

I am hard-pressed to pick a favorite here, because each piece feels necessary. But, on page 144, she says:

“And when you begin to feel your soul collapse...

Listen to it when it begs you to hold on.”

I admire her strength. And her words. And her.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not a fan of marring books with bent pages and dog-ears, but I put so many dog-ears in this book to hold the places which resonated in my heart. These words are so relatable in so many ways. I can't wait to share it with others.

[Barbara Garay · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You will feel a trembling in your soul and out of instinct you will pray to silence it. But do this for me. Do this for you. Quake, sweet woman, quake." This piece has had such a profound influence on me when I read it. And there are many more hard hitting, soul moving, and heart felt words found all throughout Alfa's book. It is hard for me to pick a favorite piece because they all are incredible. Alfa weaves her words with such poignant imagery that you can't help but feel and relate to the emotion that she is painting. You experience the moment in time that she is capturing, and lose yourself into the human experience that she is highlighting. You feel so connected with every page turn, because her words speak directly to your heart. These poems take you on a journey of healing, of insight, of dealing with pain and hardships and rising above them, and I find myself revisiting and reflecting on many of her poems. She writes, "I may wear my past upon my skin, but my future burns brightly within the fire raging in my soul." These words beautifully encapsulate the rawness and the honesty found in all the pieces of this book. They truly do speak to the wounded heart and gift inspiration to be strong, as well as offer a reminder that you are not alone. I highly recommend this book. It should be placed in the home of every poetry lovers bookshelf.

[Mimi · Rating 2 out of 5]

In a collection of poems, Alfa shares her personal experience with romance, marriage, divorce, and domestic abuse.
-------------
I don't think this collection of poems were for me.
I couldn't relate to the poems at times and some of the inspirational poems read a little generic.
There were some poems that moved me, like the ones about parenting after separating and during an abusive marriage.
I think in part because I was raised by a single mom who had a abusive/toxic marriage so it resonated more with me.
Honestly, I just didn't enjoy this collection of poems, but I think it was because it's not meant for me. If I was older or experienced more in life maybe I would've liked it.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How do you explain
the absence of a person to your soul??
- Caravans, Silent Squall

I am blown away by the feeling that Alfa writes exactly what my heart has felt and experienced. The poetry in this book is painful and raw and beautiful - and healing.

[Pamela Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alfa never disappoints. Here she lays her story and her heart for all to read. I can see myself through her words. Words I couldn’t possibly express. It is an intimate journey of love and loss and the path back to finding herself once again.

[Tammie Anne (Literary.Existentialism) · Rating 2 out of 5]

For me, with poetry, I either love it or hate it.

Unfortunately, I hated this collection. I thought the subject matter would speak to me because I have also been in an abusive relationship, but it didn’t.

I didn’t care for her tone and writing style. Poetry is subjective. It wasn’t for me.

[curiouskat_books · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't tend to go for poetry books very often. I found this one by chance at a store and decided to give it a chance. Very glad that I bought it. Just one sitting and I completed reading it in its entirety. There were so many passages that my soul felt kinship to. While I have never gone through anything like the experiences depicted, it is the feelings and emotions shown in certain places that I cannot help but feel related to my own. I dog eared and underlined various sections that I felt were memorable.


My favorite passages:
Spirit Sayer
Interlopers
Scavenger Hunt
Hollow
Heart of the Moment
Out of Breath
They Come Back
What You Left
Ongoing Love
I'm the Person You Talk to Every Day
He Wanted Me to Explain it

[Tessa Stockton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely gorgeous, and relatable, but also depressing. The focus stayed on the tones of misery inflicted by another. I sought a more consuming reflection to arise—at some point—to forgive offenses/offender, shed the past in a cleansing, forward-rolling wave toward a brighter future. The divine key to healing is forgiveness, and perhaps a large part of truly finding yourself, if that's what you want to do. I don’t want to wallow in pity; otherwise, I’d give this volume the highest rating because the writing is truly captivating.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good poetry I find speaks to my soul. Even if I haven’t been through the exact same thing as the writer, there is something beautifully tragic at how the words just make you feel what they were going through and it sparking a connection to something you’ve experienced just by the words you’re reading. With this book it was no different, the writing was beautifully done and i enjoyed the entire experience of reading it.

[Kassandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite but it had some good touching poems I liked .

Her books talk about ex abusive relationships (this one not so much but the red cover does a bit more )

Some of my favorite parts :

“I am a novel, and I need to be read repeatedly.”


“We drop pieces of the last and fill the crevices with momentary pleasure, trying to replace what we have most.”

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This writer continues to grow with every single new poetry book she publishes. She becomes more and more engraved in my heart. I love poets who really put their emotions out into their work and Alfa does this two fold. Her writing is exquisite. That is all.

[theendlesstbr · Rating 2 out of 5]

silent squall is a collection of heart and soul, as well as reflections into the author's personal endurance and tribulations.
i found many of these hard to relate to, but the feelings still made their way from the page to me.

[Lily Blue · Rating 5 out of 5]

CLEAR UR SHT BOOK 35? 36? (AT THIS POINT I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE) PROMPTS 14, & 16

TW: Abuse, recovering from abuse

this book will not speak to everyone, but those who need it will. one of my favorite poems is surviving today. just one breath at a time.

[Nicole]

Don’t know how to rate this since it’s based on someone’s real experiences; however I can say that the writing is simple yet beautiful. Whether you fully relate to the authors backstory or not, I think everyone can find something to take away in the end.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. some of the poems were very cheesy, but most of them were interesting and impactful. my biggest issue is I could sympathize, but I've never been in a relationship so a lot of these didn't connect very well with me. maybe i'll reread this during a breakup

[Raging Rhetoric · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read. Absolute perfection

[Erelah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this was a beautiful collection. Alfa is great at using imagery to pack a punch.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave a more in depth glance into alfas past and was absolutely heartbreaking and breathtaking.

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, deep, and motivational poetry.

[xena · Rating 4 out of 5]

so honest and strong. cant wait to read more from her

[TheBookishBabe]

not rating for this one as I don't feel like rating someone's personal experience; however, I can say the writing style was lyrical and easy to understand, which I appreciated.

[Tara Jolley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was really good. I will definitely be reading more of her work!

[Martine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

[Abbey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good parts but mostly cheesy and hard to get through