Under Five

by Michael War

Mike is good looking, charming, and has no trouble attracting men—as long as his clothes stay on. But the moment they come off, something always seems to go terribly wrong. When his sister takes him to a faith healer to fix the problem, he is provided with a spell—and left with a lot of doubts.

But after meeting Kevin, Mike decides to give the spell a try...

123 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 30, 2018

About the author

Michael War is a Freelance Writer from Texas whose imagination knows no bounds. He has been writing all his life, but has only written professionally for a short time. Aside from gay themed stories, Michael also enjoys writing poetry and screenplays. For any questions or comments, you can email him at michaelwar77@gmail.com

Reviews

[☆ Todd · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Please grant me the knowledge that I seek and deliver the answer to my worries."

That was how it all started.

Well, that, a witch doctor, a candle, and some burning hair wrapped in a leaf.

And the unexpected appearance of Mike's clone. Or his identical twin.

Whatever you want to call the doppelganger naked in Mike's shower.



This story was nothing at all like I'd anticipated once Angel, the 'twin', made his appearance.

Instead of immediately answering the Mike's initial "is my penis too small to keep a partner long-term" question, Mike begins to see how his 'twin' interacts with the world. And, in turn, how people see him as interacting with the world.

I'll be honest, a lot of this story left me wanting more. I never felt entirely compelled to keep reading, which isn't great for a 120+ page story.

While I did enjoy some parts of the book, there was just something that I felt was missing. That intangible quality the pulls you in and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

I think that part of what I may have felt missing was due to the fact that Mike, at least partially, kept Kevin at arm's length, not wanting to go 'full frontal' and chance their budding romance before he'd fully figured out the answer from the spell.

The steamier bits were fairly limited, but pretty satisfying, when they did occur, with emphasis on the cuddly after-glow to help convey that it wasn't only about sex for anyone involved.

I did like where the fate of the 'twin' ended up going, as I'd grown a bit attached to him, just like Mike and his sister Carmen both had.

So if you're looking for a light paranormal romance, you might enjoy this story. I was just hoping for a bit more *zing* than the book delivered.

3.25 stars.

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My ARC copy of the story was provided by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair, unbiased review.

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[Sawyer ❤ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5/5

It should go without saying, I was drawn to this book because of the cover. It's a very nice cover. Then I read the synopsis. "He has no problems attracting men," of course not, look at him... "as long as the clothes stay on." So I was intrigued, he's half-naked on the cover and I can't see a problem, what could be so bad? I needed to know.

What does Under Five refer to? Perhaps he's missing a toe. Maybe it's referring to the number of partners he's had.

It only took a few pages before I realized I was reading about a man who was insecure about his uh, endowment. This is not a topic I'm terribly comfortable with, I kept reading because it was a short book.

Hindsight is 20/20. But in my defense when I asked my most accessible friends what they made of title and synopsis, the guys immediately told me he "has a little willy," their words, not mine. The girls were as confused as I was. I always love when books are a catalyst for conversation and this one was.

Ok, now for the story. This was a paranormal romance which is not what I typically read. There was a faith healer, a magic spell, and a clone. Believe it or not, those weren't the things I found most unbelievable about the story.

Let's start from the beginning. Mike realizes he might be under-endowed when his partner laughs and says, "I expected it to be bigger." Then he thinks back to his previous relationships and decides that must be why they all didn't work out.

I can understand insecurity, but I've yet to meet a man who isn't acutely aware of how he measures up to other men. Much less a man who is so ignorant of his own size. Seriously has he never... you know what, we're not even going to go there, apparently he hasn't even looked in a mirror. I feel confident in saying there are other ways he could compensate.

That's not even the most unbelievable part. After making such a traumatic discovery, he understandably needs to talk to someone about it. I can't fault him for that, I'd need to talk if someone laughed at me once the clothes came off too. However, one group of people I would not have that discussion with is my family.

That he went straight to his sister, after his shocking revelation, and she took him right to a faith healer made an already awkward book that much worse.

With all that said, I did grow to care about the characters. I wanted them to be happy, and I was glad when they found love in the end.

Overall, Under Five was a unique book that dealt with a topic I've been lead to believe many men struggle with. I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a quick read that's not like the traditional MM romance, or general romance for that matter.

[R · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mike hasn't had the best of luck with men. While he's well built body wise, he is a little under endowed. It doesn't help that he has only dated jerks who made fun of his size. His sister convinces him to go to some one for help. The woman is basically a witch doctor, giving him a spell to use to improve his love life.

He puts off using he spell till he meets Kevin. He is very attracted to him and doesn't want to lose another man. When he uses the spell Kevin's doubts in himself bring shocking results.

I would like to say more but can't without spoilers. It was a clever way to highlight Mikes insecurities. I read a lot of paranormal/sci-fi books so the premise want to odd. I did enjoy it but felt like it needed something more.

Review Copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads.

[Barb ~rede-2-read~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather bizarre tale, this story was not at all what I expected from reading the blurb. It’s about a man who has had men—from hookups to a long-term partner—tell him he’s inadequate in the bedroom. Based on their behavior, he assumes it’s due to his less than average penis size. He’s shocked, especially by the man who stayed with him three years before saying anything. But he refuses to measure himself and won’t look in a mirror to verify.

And yet he shares the information with his sister, who takes him to a faith healer for the solution. Left the Believability Highway yet? Yes, I did by this point too. Now, when he finally does what the healer told him to do, he discovers a clone in his home—an exact duplicate of himself. But does he look at the naked man’s crotch? Nope, he does not. He’s not ready to do that. Plus, he just had a date with a really nice guy and he thinks maybe size won’t matter to that man.

The story itself is a series of strange occurrences, unrealistic circumstances, impossible situations, and unpleasant behaviors. To be honest, it was so strange that I kept thinking the MC was going to wake up and it would all be a dream sequence. Mike, the guy with the problem, was not a likeable personality, unlike Angel, his clone, and it’s through knowing Angel that Mike finally learned his lesson about his own behavior and perceptions. Once he did, everything else fell into place. And yes, there is an HEA. But getting there does indeed, as the author says in his introduction, require one to suspend disbelief.

I think with tighter editing, additional beta input, and cleaning up some of the extraneous information in the story, this would have been much better.

**2.5 stars**

ARC provided by the publisher through Net Galley in exchange for an impartial review.

[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not quite sure what to think about this book. If you read the blurb and the title, I’m sure you can figure out what this book is about. And it bothers me. I guess maybe because I have my own issues and so many people do. It’s hurtful. But then again, there was a lesson to be learned in all this. Acceptance of yourself. And not to worry what others say, because their opinions shouldn’t matter. Although, they very much do.
The gist of the story is in the blurb. I can’t add much to anything without giving it away. Mike is very unhappy with the way things are going and decides to listen to his sister and go to a faith healer. Although he really wants to leave when he gets there and when he gets the spell the healer gives him, he hides it for a while thinking it’s stupid. But it takes a man to rethink it and tries it anyway and the results are shocking as hell.
I think there’s honestly not much more I can add without giving it all away. If you’re smart you’ll figure it out. And the only thing I can add is Mike has a lesson he had to learn. I had a bit of an issue with Mike, like his sister Carmen at first. He seems like a good guy, but he’s so self-absorbed about himself, he often forgets everyone around him and it grates. So he actually had several lessons to learn before things could be right again. But even those lessons come with a cost. It’s one of those books that leave me a bit upset and baffled but happy to a point because when Mike gets it, he gets it. So, see what you think.


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[Colour Me Purple · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me say right up front that I read this marvelous and thoroughly enjoyable story non-stop, in just a couple of hours. I could not wait to reach the conclusion.
A quick review of the story line. Mike is attractive. Mike has no problems attracting men, but Mike does have problems maintaining relationships. Incidents with former partners have led Mike to think the reason he cannot maintain relationships is because his penis is too small. Mike and his sister, Carman, seek help from a magic-maker to help Mike “see” how to go about fixing his relationship issues. The magic-maker causes Mike’s clone to appear. And that’s when the fun starts.
The author asks us to “suspend disbelief”. It was, in fact, those two words “suspend belief” that drew me to ask for an ARC of this book. Let’s talk about that for a minute. For anyone who has ever read and enjoyed reading paranormal, sci fi, magic, mystic, or more down-to-earth every day folklore, suspending belief is easy. Wizards, witches, fae, shifters, druids, gifted humans who work for good as well as evil. I’ve met them all. So one magic-maker who causes the creation of one clone didn’t cause even one shake of my head. I found it really easy to let the story flow and just go with that flow.
I’d find it more difficult, and I did, to image a brother discussing the size of his penis with his sister. Yes, that did cause a raised eyebrow.
Now let’s talk about what this book is really about. It’s about the insecurities that each and every one of us carry. It’s about how we see ourselves. How we stress ourselves over how the rest of the world sees us. It’s the constant worry over how we look. Too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny...too, too, too. In the end, it’s about Mike's need to step back and really see himself and how he impacts the world and the people around him.
And Under Five is, at its heart, also a love story. Yes, the books contain explicit sexual content, but it is also full to overflowing with emotions that I felt coming out of the page. I relished every second spent with this book. I'm giving it a solid 4.5.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an ARC in return for an honest review.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Under Five by Michael War is a book about learning to love yourself. Mike has a size issue. I think he has more of dating jerk issues. But they all say he is small. He obsesses about it. Thinking they might be right never once thinking the guys were real jerks.
Well to solve his problem he goes to his sister and tells her about it. She suggests a healer she knows.
Mike goes there and finds someone who gives him a potion to solve his problem. Instead of taking the potion he just puts it away for now.
Then he meets Kevin.
Kevin is perfect. He is funny, sweet, and someone he has instant chemistry with. So he takes the potion.
What he learns is sometimes it is not the size that matters but how you perceive yourself on the inside.
This story is quirky, there are also places you have to just roll with how things are presented. Cause it does make some of the characters seem immature, but if you can suspend belief in those spots it is really a good story. I am glad I picked this one up. Fun, quirky, and full of love.

Four Twinkling Stars

[Russel D. (The Book Swain) · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I was laughing. Then I started to arch my eyebrow and finally settled on scratching my head. I can’t decide whether to call this story by Michael War strangely magical or magically awkward. But one thing is for sure. I uncomfortably enjoyed it!

“I didn’t expect it to be so small.”

I can’t tell how small is small but that was hilarious! The title says, “Under five” but I am certain it is only pertaining to the length. The diameter must have made an acceptable compensation; otherwise, Mike wouldn’t have been able to find his true love in the end.

Mike is an attractive guy who works in a museum and Kevin, (his supposed-to-be-Mr.-Right-Kevin), is a ‘beefy read-head.’ Their attraction was ‘cute’ and is starting to go in the right direction. Desperate to pass muster, Mike decided to try a spell that is supposed to earn his wiener a few inches, but it resulted in something bigger than life.

The sudden turn of events made the story even weirder but more interesting at the same time. The spell did not just change the story, it made a story of its own.

At first, it was hard for me to welcome the idea that this is super-strangeness and romance combined in a novel. But in the end, I just went with the flow and accepted that ‘this is happening.’ Despite all the weirdness going on, I was entertained reading about Mike and the other characters in this story.

It wasn’t until near the end that I got familiarized on the author’s writing style. But aside from the fact that this is my first Michael War read, this is novel is really short as to be almost at the point of being called an excerpt, and I hope to read (and continue to read) more books from him. Maybe as long as he is writing romance books. Or maybe until the weird becomes normal.

***ARC copy was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review***

For more of my reviews, please visit RS Book Blog

[Esther Alayeto · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good story with interesting twists and interesting characters. It's an intriguing read that will keep you entertained throughout. Mike is a wonderful character who hasn't had much luck with men because of a problem when his clothes come off, can't say more about that without spoilers. His sister tries to help by taking him to someone who gives him a spell to use. Although he's skeptical about the spell, when he meets Kevin, he's very attracted to him and doesn't want to lose him. You really need to read this book and see how things unravel from there, it's worth it!
I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

3 stars

Mike is in the middle of an intimate encounter with a guy named Carlos when disaster strikes. Or rather, the giggles strike. Carlos, when meeting Little Mike for the first time, bursts into laughter and can’t stop. Needless to say, Mike is embarrassed and hurt. The casually thrown out excuse of “I’m used to bigger” does little to help the situation, and Mike is quick to show Carlos the door, spending the rest of the night trying not to think about it.

Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.

[Sahar · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was kind of bizarre. The story didn't go (like at all) where I expected after the spell was done.
I think that the idea was pretty good but it wasn't well executed. It develops too fast and it's a bit over the top which makes all of this hard to relate to.

[Kaila · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was an interesting and funny story to read. It was quirky and entertaining as well. I enjoyed the characters and their story. The writing was very well done and it was a lot of fun. I felt as if I was a part of their lives and not just reading it. I liked it

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Review An Alisa Review:

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

While there was quite a twist and turn that I didn’t expect in this story it was enjoyable. Mike can’t help but feel that something is wrong with him that causes him to not have lasting relationships. Though the spell doesn’t do what he expects it eventually gives him the answer he needs.

Mike is self-conscious but at the same time you see him have trouble with listening to others thoughts or problems. I don’t want to give anything away but when the results of the spell really start to throw a wrench in things you see him really see how he acts. Mike and his sister both gain more family and acceptance through this story.

The cover art by Aisha Akeju is nice if not typical of many romance novels.

[Lena Grey · Rating 3 out of 5]

“It’s not the size of a person that’s really matter; its size WITHIN a person that’s really matter the most.” ~ Wazim Shaw

Mike has always thought that he was appealing and easy to get along with, but recently, every man he hooks up with has a problem with his size. Instead of considering that the problem may not lie with him at all, but with the other guys who just may be superficial jerks, Mike obsesses about it, looking for faults within himself, but isn't brave enough to check himself out for… well… size. When it gets so bad that Mike can't stand it, he confides in his sister, explaining what he thinks is wrong. She sympathizes but isn't able to solve his problem by herself. However, she knows a healer who may have a spell or ceremony that will help with his dilemma.

After some consideration, but just as much doubt, Mike goes with her to this person because he's desperate for any information that will tell him what's wrong with him and how to fix it. The healer does little to allay his fears. In fact, he's just as nutty as Mike thinks he's going to be. He does pick out a potion for him that Mike has little faith in, but out of desperation, Mike buys it and takes it home. Mike stuffs it in the closet and forgets about it, that is, until he meets Kevin, with whom he has an immediate attraction. Since he doesn't want to lose Kevin, he decides the situation calls for drastic measures. He gets the potion out and performs the spell. What happens next helps him see himself from a different perspective and helps him understand that it is not only size that makes a difference in how people see you, but your behavior as well.

This is an odd but imaginative story about the importance of looking inside first, before considering what others may say about you. It is a unique way for a character to observe his behavior, one that doesn't include walking through a looking glass, going back in time, switching places with someone else, etc. I didn't quite understand the ending, but, “all is well that ends well.” Thanks, Michael, for giving me a mirror so I can see my own reflection.

NOTE: This book was provided by the publisher for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

[Jess Gabriel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my. This is a tough one for me. The premise was interesting and unique, the sexy times were hot, and I enjoyed the humorous aspects of the story. Unfortunately, I felt like the characters overly dramatic and immature, and things happened way too quickly. I found myself cocking my head and squinting my eyes several times while trying to figure out how we arrived at certain points. I think the potential was there, it just didn't all come together.

*Provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Sean Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a lot going on in this book. I wasn't too sure what it was about when I chose it, but when I finally caught on to the plot I was like OMG is he really writing about this problem? I mean, it's every man's worst fear, isn't it? Being too small? I knew there was going to be some supernatural elements going on, but I didn't quite expect what ended up in the book. It definitely wasn't a bad thing because it led to much deeper connections in the story.

Like I said there is a lot going on this book. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of questions being asked, even if they don't seem obvious right at first.

Enjoyable and quick read.