The Comeback: Seven Stories of Women Who Went from Career to Family and Back Again

by Emma Gilbey Keller

A must-read for all women juggling career and an inspiring book that argues that women can have it all―just not all at once. We've all heard the chatter in magazines and on television about off-ramps and on-ramps, decreased earning power, increased competition, too much readjustment, too little flexibility, no jobs, no hope―nothing to look forward to. Women are used to being told that once we get off the career track, we can't get back on. In The Comeback, Emma Gilbey Keller proves that this isn't More and more, companies today are looking at the value of hiring returning mothers. In this encouraging book, Keller tells the stories of seven very different women who sought to strike a balance between demanding careers and budding families. With all of them there came a moment―unplanned―when they decided to give up work and become full-time mothers. Then, some time later, each of them decided it was time to start thinking about going back. Their stories are complicated, filled with the choices, decisions and trade-offs that all mothers face. Each ended up with some version of the balance that we all strive for as we juggle work and families. Achieving this balance always takes effort, frustration, and give-and-take, but in the end anyone can do it. An absorbing blend of story, insight, advice, and inspiration, The Comeback offers a positive message to mothers overwhelmed by the ever-shifting work versus home debate.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Business

240 pages, Hardcover

First published September 2, 2008

Reviews

[Deborah · Rating 1 out of 5]

So, I heard her talking on NPR and the premise of the book sounded interesting to me, specially in my current situation. But, alas, I do not live in the upper East side, I'm not a banker or married to one, I'm not a lawyer or married to one, etc, etc. This book target audience is the very wealthy mothers who hire help to take care of their children so they can go volunteer and network with their husbands contacts so that they can "come back" to a place that they never really left which is high society. Seven stories of seven women and only one of them was a real woman with real life problems and two of them were lawyers, really? two of out seven. It seems to me that Ms. Gilbey Keller found woman that she knew form her circle or had admire and wanted to get to know so that they can network in the future. This book was an utterly waste of my time which is really sad since my reading time is very limited since my Au Pair left.

[Anastasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is an important book and I applaud Gilbey Keller for her effort, but I also think this could have been a much better book. Gilbey Keller interviewed and wrote about 7 women who left their careers to tend to their children and then returned to the world of work. However, she only captured one woman of moderate means-- the rest were extremely privileged, some even authentic WASPs, whose lineage Gilbey Keller not only traces but seems to fawn over. Likewise, though high-achieving women of color abound in today's world, all the women featured were caucasian. All the women were also married in heterosexual relationships, though one nod to diversity was the woman who divorced her husband.

Altogether what was an interesting and inspiring piece of work was significantly short-changed due to its lack of diversity. I believe most women won't recognize themselves in the pages of this book. Still, I recommend this for all my friends who are feminists and/or mothers.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm 26 and not a mother yet, but I'm in building-my-career and about to get married stage that all the women in this book experience. Their stories gave me a lot of things to think about, worry about, and look forward to as I anticipate making some difficult work/family/balance choices in the coming years. For such a short read, Keller manages to covey well the very different and complex personalities of the seven women featured. I found myself wishing I could keep reading about a few of them, particularly the doctor Peg French. I also really enjoyed Keller's introduction section in which she discusses her own career, family, and comeback.

I had a harder time connecting to the women (of whom there are several) featured who are of a very high social class, either due to their family background, their marriage, or their powerful careers. Though their emotions still resonated with me, the backdrop of live-in nannies and cocktail parties and second homes wasn't anywhere near the experience of my life now nor in the future. I felt more connected to the teacher/occupational therapist and the doctor who didn't finish residency till late in life.

Overall--an engaging and useful read even if you are my age and not in the midst of a comeback yourself but looking toward many years ahead of striving for the elusive work/family/life balance.

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Will read it as soon as I receive it from the FirstReads program. If you haven't entered for some of their book giveaways, you should check it out. You get to read a just-released book!

This was a very well written and researched book. I didn't think that I would like it as much as I did. Let me explain. I've never had a "comeback." I didn't leave work to stay home with my daughters when they were little because I didn't have the choice. I thought maybe I would be jealous of these women in the book who got to stay home with their kids or thought that they would all be privileged women who married men with well-paying jobs that allowed them the luxury of staying home. Yes, there were women in the book like that, but surprisingly I enjoyed their story. I felt like I could relate to many of these women and found that I had something in common with all of them. We all want what's best for our family at the same time that we all want to pursue our career and feel like we are contributing something to the world.

Very well done Mrs. Keller.

[Britt]

Heard the author speak last night and am so excited to dig into this book. Finally, an affirmative take on the women/career/motherhood conversation. Using women and friends as resources instead of sitting in judgment of each others' choices. Fantastic.

[Laura Lingford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a stay at home mom, this book made me feel not so alone. I could identify with the women. I decided to start a daycare in my home and this book made me feel better about my choice. Good read for any mom(working or not).

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one that I will keep re-reading for inspiration.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this will be one of the first reads on my "to-read" list.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read, and it's interesting to see the paths that different women have taken in relaunching their careers.

[EJ Carranza · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a wishful thinking for those women who are stuck in bettering themselves and maybe an advice to mothers raising daughters. I couldn't read more it was a would drop for me.

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection includes seven compelling stories of women who left the workforce to have children and returned several years later. It offers much to consider, but not in the way you'd expect. The stories read more like period pieces and documentation of how the process of returning to work has evolved in the past fifty years. All the stories are worth reading, but as other reviewers have noted, the stories are mostly about upper middle class women with serious, marketable skills. Several were at the top of their game when they left to have children, and they returned to high level roles, either in different organizations or by creating their own companies.

None of the stories are about the "knowledge workers" or middle managers who make up a huge percentage of today's on-rampers (parents returning to work after time spent at home). In addition, many (not all) of these stories took place ten to twenty years ago; finding a new, flexible role is a very different situation today.

One universal truth is that each of these women suffered a crisis of confidence that affected her ability to move forward. Small steps and constant motion resulted in their eventual successes, which is a lesson with revisiting.

An enjoyable read, and inspiring, but not entirely relevant to many women facing similar circumstances in 2012. I would recommend it as cultural anthropology, but not as how-to.

[Sara Liebman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found The Comeback by Emma Gilbey Keller a bland and fairly boring read. I was intrigued by the introduction that Keller wrote about her own comeback - a transition back into career after spending time home raising children. However, I did not find the women she profiled to be at all relate-able, even he women who was a teacher like me.

I also felt that the profiles of the women were kept at arms' length. Keller spoke about some of the women having children with developmental problems, but never described what these problems were or how these problems effected the other children or the parents. She mostly spoke about these problems in terms of logistics - about how it was difficult for the mothers to shuttle the children around to different doctors' appointments.

Another issue I took with the book was that the majority of the women profiles would be considered wealthy or comfortable and wanted to work as opposed to needing to work. They also mostly seemed to have absentee husbands who while they weren't physically around, all made a lot of money so their absence was ok. She didn't delve into any of the marriages of these women or how the distances effected the marriages.

I mention these things because, in my opinion, if a woman is lucky enough to have choices whether to work or not, all of these factors are at play and I don't feel that Keller played them up enough

[Delight · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book really annoyed me. I had read a decent review in the NYT about Keller's book that supposedly delved deeply into the issues of balancing career and family (perhaps the good review has something to do with the fact that the author is married to Bill Keller--executive editor of the NYT...). I was quite disappointed to find that the book is really no more than seven random stories about upper-middle class women who gave up their careers for a period of time to raise their families and then made their way back to a career path. I was hoping for some analysis, findings, or commonalities of the stories--but there were none. It was also annoying that the majority of the women were married to men who made enough money that the family could subsist on one income--which isn't the case for most families. I was expecting more from this book and other writers have successfully synthesized seemingly random stories to provide insight (Po Bronson--this is a ripe topic if you're looking for your next book...) into intimate and personal issues.

I have to say that I liked the prologue and epilogue the best--but could have skipped the pages in between.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main point is good, but not new: that one way to combine work and family is to do so sequentially, and that (with sufficient financial and emotional support) you can create a rewarding professional life with on-ramps and off-ramps. I do not think this book is a good vehicle for that message.

I'm always interested in reading about people's lives, but this book felt like 9 mini-biographies; the author did not weave the stories together. Specifics can often help make a more general point, but this author rarely drew broader conclusions from these individuals. The women she chose to feature were mainly superstars in their fields and almost all extremely well-educated and wealthy, which she acknowledges, but which really limited the relevance of the book (much more so than "Lean In").

Finally, I found the author tone-deaf. One example: While describing her own journey, she asks advice from a woman who was very sick and would die of breast cancer later that year: "She told me to be myself. Easy for her to say!" Wow. Classy. And there were several other weird moments like that.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This well-written book is about how seven mothers 'came back' to their careers after raising children. While the stories were interesting and in many cases inspiring, there were two issues I had with this book: Except for one, all of the women were upper-middle class. All of them were very well-educated, and had support from their families. Also, in many cases, the women never left the work force. So, they weren't really coming back, but shifting their careers and expectations to meet their family's (and their own needs).

That being said, it is always interesting to me how people reinvent themselves, even if they do have more paid help than I do;) The way the parent-child and spousal relationships shifted, flexed and developed told the stories the author tried to depict. For that reason alone, I thought this was an interesting book.

This gave me a lot of food for thought on the way relationships and careers shift and flex due to family changes. If these are the kinds of things that interest you, this book is worth checking out.

[Jill Campbell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another book won in a giveaway...looks interesting.

This book is a collection of stories about women who were in the working world, had children and then re-entered the working world. I found that the stories were very specific to the careers these women were in and I would say the majority of women can't relate to the women in the book. How many people actually designed for World Trade Center? People with jobs such as that would find it much easier to re-enter after 10 years away. There were definitely tips and pointers on getting back into the work force after a long time out, such as, keep up the networking, but you have to read through a lot of people's stories to get them. After reading a couple of the stories, it left me feeling more discouraged about being able to find a job after staying home with the kids for a couple of years.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

The universal statement of this book seems to be that all women who take a break from full time, outside of the home employment, suffer a huge drop in self confidence. And in order to work, have a family, AND be happy, you need a lot of help. According to this model, I need two nanny's, a "maid" who picks up dry cleaning and cooks, and to live within ten minutes of my family. Oh, and also telecommute, live walking distance of the office, or be self-employed, or all of those things.

That said, it's a well written book, full of grim facts about how women and children are in perilous financial circumstances if the husband is the sole bread winner.

This probably seems contradictory to my rating. But it is very much in line my own experiences.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Breezy, readable account of the work/family balance tradeoffs made by seven women interviewed in depth by the author. The format works well in that she goes into considerable depth on each one and recounts their work/family histories over considerable periods of time. My only quibble with it as research, rather than interesting anecdotes, would be the rarefied nature of the sample -- a professional art photographer, physician, lawyer, etc., mostly married to wealthy guys. that's a real segment of society of course, but not the only one faced with difficult choices about tending to young children while maintaining a job/career.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not the best of its type. Most of the people were very upper middle class. I almost stopped reading after a few chapters because of that, but I hung in a bit longer when a chapter talked about an occupational therapist in Saginaw, Michigan. But it just wasn't that new, wasn't that well written, and wasn't that interesting. I confess that some of what I disliked may be that it came out before the economy tanked, and the people she profiled all bought their homes before the real estate bubble and subsequent tank. The stories seemed far from the reality I know for even the wealthier people I know.

I gave up before the end.

[Kelly Holmes · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I ended up reading the first two stories and skimming the rest.

The main reason I didn't connect to the book was that the first two stories I did read were about women who seemed to be incredibly wealthy. So it was hard to see myself in their stories.

Maybe one of the other stories would have resonated with me more, but it was hard to tell just from the chapter titles whether they were stories closer to my own experiences.

The writing is good, and it's an interesting topic. Just not immediately pertinent to my own life.

[Brittany Richman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the prologue of this book. It actually described me so accurately it was almost scary. I expected the rest of the book to be equally as insightful, allowing me opportunities to feel less alone in this often whirlwind world of career-woman turned full-time mom. I was excited to read the rest of the book, and although I found the stories about each woman interesting, they were so far removed from any women I actually know that I was left confused about how the editor of this book approved it to be published with such a narrow scope of high-society women profiled.

[Judy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't have any high expectations of this book other than hoping it would at least be a fun read and I was disappointed.

The stories are narrated in a factual past tense way that makes it less interesting as the stories continue. The women are all clearly talented and successful woman, yay for them...and that is about it. If the book was trying to highlight the different ways of getting back on a career path, it failed. It seemed the only way is to have end connections.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable read about seven mothers' professional lives - pre-baby and post-baby. The moral of the story is: if you work while you have children, it will be really exhausting and emotionally wrought until the kids leave for college. Then, you can throw yourself into a career. Empowering to know there are post-menopausal women still vigorous and very active in both jobs and hobbies.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea for this book was a good one. The introduction was well-written and kept me interested. But, the "seven stories", for the most part, were not stories that many women would relate to.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ... meh.

You can read my review at The Daily Fave:

http://forums.parenting.com/blogs/dai...

[Shirley · Rating 2 out of 5]

An 18 page boring introduction almost made me put the book aside. Book was okay, but nothing I would reccomend.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting stories.