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260 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 20, 1990
Every child needs approval. When it cannot get approval from the inner adult, then it has no choice but to try to get love and approval from others. The individual's sense of adequacy and lovability become attached to the approval of others when its inner adult is unloving. This is neediness - needing others to make us feel okay about ourselves. This neediness for external approval sets up deep fears of rejection and domination from those whose approval the child wants. Approval, sex, and love become the way the inner child tries to escape its unbearable aloneness, never realizing that external connection with others cannot occur without internal connection to oneself.