The Zen of Living and Dying: A Practical and Spiritual Guide

by Philip Kapleau

To live life fully and die serenely—surely we all share these goals, so inextricably entwined. Yet a spiritual dimension is too often lacking in the attitudes, circumstances, and rites of death in modern society. Kapleau explores the subject of death and dying on a deeply personal level, interweaving the writings of Western religions with insights from his own Zen practice, and offers practical advice for the dying and their families.

Genres: Buddhism, Zen, Death

300 pages, Paperback

First published April 14, 1998

About the author

A teacher of Zen Buddhism in the Sanbo Kyodan tradition, a blending of Japanese Soto and Rinzai schools.

Reviews

[Craig Bergland · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ultimately, this book isn't what the title would lead you to believe it's about - which is my primary reason for giving it only one star. While it certainly does deal with death, it does so very obliquely and spends in my opinion far too much time going over basic Buddhist teachings such as the four noble truths. While that certainly is a potential weakness of any Buddhist book, I found the fact that the author waited to move to the basic teachings until the middle of the book very disconcerting and distracting. In fact, the progression of the book seemed odd to me in general in that he looked at death and then moved to pain - and then jumped the tracks by moving to the four noble truths. I would have liked to see a book about death deal more with death than this one did and depend less on a traditional belief in karma as an explanation for why people die.

[Jordan Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Death: many of us ponder what happens after and how to handle our inevitable march towards it. In this book Philip covers all matters of death, from resolving one's attachment to the ego so as to truly live and not fear death, to giving practical advice about affairs that occur in the near-moments and after-moments of death and explaining the overall cycle of birth, living, dying, death and rebirth. Karma and Buddhist doctrines are heavily discussed as well. I would say this book mostly leans on Buddhist teachings but perspectives of all religions are also considered.

I greatly enjoyed this book because of how broad it is in scope. It covers every conceivable question related to death, many of which I have pondered at some point in my life. Of great importance as well is its explanation on how to overcome fear of death. In short, the best way to do this is to eliminate one's attachment to the ego and fully live in the present, consciously living each moment. Several meditations are offered that can prepare oneself for death and eliminate anxiety surrounding it.

In my opinion the first, third and fourth parts of this book are most interesting to read. I wasn't so fond of the practical portion of this book which suggests scriptures that can be read at funerals and the ways death can be handled within a family, such as through traditional open casket funerals, wakes or vigils, or more casual affairs. I felt that this portion of the book read like a manual and unless you're currently in the stages of post-death planning it's probably not of much interest.

I will say that the writing in this book is exceptional. There are many anecdotes presented about people who lived either in fear of death or in acceptance of it. There are stories about people who could recall their previous lives in great detail. There are stories of people who were able to overcome almost certain death and go on to lead fulfilling lives. Many of the stories presented were promising and brought me contentment.

I feel that the overarching message presented by this book is positive: that if we come to peace with death it will cease to be the bogeyman many of us make it out to be. Actually, it is argued in this book that death should be a celebration because it is a portal into rebirth.

[Annalisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I found some of this book to be very powerful, it was painfully simplistic on some issues, such as pain management. To blithely suggest that modern medicine makes it entirely possible to be both alert and pain free no matter what your illness is laughable, even for a book written in the 80s. And the idea that the only reason people might consider euthanasia is fear of pain is also laughable--at no point did Kapleau consider the crushing financial burden that end of life care in America brings, nor the loss of dignity, and he barely considered the fact that modern medicine has made, in many cases, an active decision about the moment of death actually necessary.

Furthermore, while I am a Buddhist, I found much on the section about rebirth to be ridiculous. The idea that we can know that there are exactly 4 stages between physical death and rebirth and what we will experience there, or that chanting by our loved ones will help us through the scary second stage is obviously completely impossible to prove and akin to Catholics and their ideas about Purgatory and working through sin. It's all just an attempt to explain and make less scary the idea of dying. Presenting this material as truth, not even speculation but truth (!) is just wrong.

However, I will say that much of the first half of the book was solid, thoughtful advice about why we find death scary and how to overcome that fear and face dying with ease and balance.

[Bobby · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice balance of abstract Buddhist concepts and practical advise for dealing with death. My only critcism is that it felt everything was being dealt with in a rather superficial manner; I would have liked a more in depth discussion. Still, I like Philip Kapleau's easy-to-read style here which, unlike Robert Thurman and some of the other writers of Buddhism, never gets overly intellecutal (which can distract from the beautiful simplicity of Zen).

[Horatio · Rating 4 out of 5]

This triggered multiple existential crises