The Future

by Neil Hilborn

Neil Hilborn's highly anticipated second collection of poems, The Future, invites readers to find comfort in hard nights and better days. Filled with nostalgia, love, heartbreak, and the author's signature wry examinations of mental health, this book helps explain what lives inside us, what we struggle to define. Written on the road over two years of touring, The Future is rugged, genuine, and relatable. Grabbing attention like gravity, Hilborn reminds readers that no matter how far away we get, we eventually all drift back together. These poems are fireworks for the numb. In the author's own words, The Future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas, and in it, we are alive.

Genres: Poetry, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Contemporary, Nonfiction, Poetry Plays, College

71 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 3, 2018

About the author

Neil Hilborn is a College National Poetry Slam Champion, and a 2011 graduate with honors from Macalester College with a degree in Creative Writing. Neil was a member of the 2011 Macalester Poetry Slam team, which ranked first in the nation. He co-coached the 2012 Macalester team, leading them to a second place finish nationally. He was also a member of the Minneapolis adult National Poetry Slam team in 2011, which placed 5th out of 80 teams from cities across the country at the adult National Poetry Slam. In August of 2013, his poem "OCD" went viral, garnering over 7 million views to date, making it one of the most-viewed poems on YouTube.

Reviews

[Kristy · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 Stars

While there were some good lines here and there, I didn’t connect with any of the poems and many of them seemed silly although I’m not sure that was the intention.

[Ashley Mae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think Neil Hilborn can get anymore relatable. His works just get better and better.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

I have loved Neil's work for years and I went through a phase where I listened to his spoken word album on repeat. I was a bit anxious going into this collection and it got off to a bit of a rocky start for me, but then there were a few poems (such as "For Henry, Who Has Just Gone") where my emotions flooded out of me. I don't think I have ever cried this often while reading a poetry collection. Not to mention the two "Psalm 12" poems which actually made me laugh out loud. There were several poems that I didn't enjoy as much, but as a whole, any poetry collection that can make me laugh while tears are still running down my cheeks is good to me.

"Some day I'm going to have a child. She's going to have

eyes like mine and such small hands. Just like
she'll need me alive then, she needs me alive
now; I can't say goodbye before I've had a chance

to say hello."

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of the collection in exchange for an honest review!

[Shelby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing new book. I love Our Numbered Days, and I was was not disappointed with The Future.

[Davor Dimoski · Rating 2 out of 5]

Me after reading Psalm 12, in Which the Author Alienates His Audience:

[Peycho Kanev · Rating 3 out of 5]

BLOOD IN MY SOCK

I was making completely
normal, absolutely not
drunk decisions, and I fucked up
my toe. Now the nail
is attempting an escape.
Let me back up. It’s Friday
night and I’ve been
convinced to go out
with people, which I never do,
especially not on a weekend.
Everyone knows that
if you hate yourself you drink
on Tuesday. So completely
normal, definitely sober me
is biking home because drunk
biking is as close as science
will come to time travel
in my life. I’m in some
neighborhood in Saint Paul
where the streets are empty
so I can better practice
my Tom Waits voice, you gotta
close your eyes to get the growl
right, which is why I don’t
see the rather large pothole
that eats my front wheel. If this
pothole had been any
bigger it would have been
called a fault line. Admittedly,
I should have heard this pothole
blocks away because of the screams
of the damned emanating from it,
but I was singing about dead birds
and broken umbrellas. Thank god
it’s midnight because I’m gonna lay
in the middle of this street until
I can rationalize the decisions
that brought me here. Not just the booze
but the decision to be a bike person
and the decision to move
to Minnesota and all
the decisions to continue living.
I’m gonna stay here until I become
a rock under a lot of other
rocks, a copper pot that’s only
every been used for cooking, a light
that knows it won’t go out. I’m staying
here until I love myself. It’s only
a few blocks home, so I trudge it
with blood in my sock. I’m walking
with one foot in the ocean.

[Giulia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unpopular Opinion Time 🐸☕️

Ouch. This hurt to read and not in a good way.

This…was such a disappointment. After loving Our Numbered Days I was expecting so much more from Hilborn’s new collection. And, alas, to say I was disappointed is to say the very least.

It felt like a joke. And it wasn’t even funny.

It was silly but not funny, edgy but not thought-provoking.

It was, honestly, just simply empty words. And I’m not about that life, fam.

[Dora Okeyo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection is not your happy-go-lucky bunch of words.
It's got grit and I found some poems as nostalgic as they were sentimental. There's a serving of sarcasm in between some lines too and this reminded me of something my Literature Professor used to say "If you don't get it the first time, read it a second time and if you don't get it then, try the third, after that well, blame the gods of literature for not bestowing understanding on you."
Thank you NetGalley for the eARC.

[trestitia ⵊⵊⵊ deamorski]

arkadaşlar ben niye her boku kaçırıyorum neil'in kitabı çıkmış ya
(diğerlerini okudum mu, internetten evet asdfadsf :( ...)
(bi gün benim ellerimde olucan)

[MorgyyReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection was an absolutely phenomenal follow up to Neil's previous collection Our Numbered Days. I had the pleasure of getting this book a couple months early as I saw Neil on his Book tour when he had a stop in my city. I cannot recommend this book, or Neil's work in general, enough. He speaks about mental illness so naturally and so authentically which is nothing short of admirable.

Some of my favorite poems in this collection are:
+ The Door, after Hieu Minh Nguyen and Sara Brickman
+ Lake
+ Next Exit
+ For Henry, Who Has Just Gone
+ Me, But Happy
+ The Future

This collection was beautiful, heartbreaking, poignant and just a breath of fresh air. Definitely pick it up when it comes out in April!

[farith · Rating 2 out of 5]

thanks to netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

i did not connect with any poem from this collection. with that being said, maybe slam poetry is not my thing. i don't think i have a lot to say about this just that i did not enjoy a single verse nor thought they were relatable.

[Adriana Martinez Figueroa · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I was given a free review copy through NetGalley. Thank you!*

"The word for tomorrow was a stork, flying away."

In this poetry collection, Neil Hilborn gives us some old poems, as well as some new ones. Most of them were written on the road during his tour, thus his poems meander about from place to place, searching for something. Perhaps it's meaning, or how to deal with mental health while still being a performer and a writer. Sometimes it's looking for a way back, to himself, to love, to another time.

"What's the word for a place that you loved, a window seat, a garden, a house of stone, a wall in a field you were carried to on the wind, that when you look for it again, is gone."

This book is introspective while still looking out. Hilborn writes about anxiety and depression and how those two might not let him see the future as something bright. There's always a sense of grasping the next day and the next, looking for ways to hold on to that sense of expectation of days to come.

"Tomorrow is a lease I have to sign every morning."

I want to rib Hilborn for his fascination with Midwestern corn, which is the one vegetable I repudiate with my entire soul, but when there isn't much to talk about RE: Midwest, I get it, I guess. The book ends with one of his viral poems, "The Future", which made sense seeing as his book is titled after it. It neatly summarizes the themes of the whole collection. Describing his life with bipolar disorder, he lists symptoms and actions while he's dissociating or in a fugue state. It's bleak, with a touch of comedic lines that one often does when talking our own about mental illnesses. Yet, he ends on a light note, shining a light directly on his ability to be optimistic in the face of something that doesn't leave much room for optimism.

"[...]the future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas. I saw the future, I did, and in it I was alive."

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you thought Our Numbered Days was terrible in a sort of baffling way (like I did), then let me reassure you - OND was a warm-up for The Future to be one damn good poetry collection. All the performance and honesty that we saw in "OCD" (the poem that you most likely know from him) is what went into this collection. In other words, this was some legitimately good shit. Nothing too hard to follow, beautiful lines.

Well done, slutty chicken

[J.D. DeHart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neil Hilborn writes verse with guts and gritty words. He does not hold back in his poems, and this creates emotion and power in the verses. Sometimes, humor is also produced by the way Hilborn assembles his words. The Future is an enjoyable and diverse poetry collection sure to delight and confront.

[Hannah Showalter · Rating 5 out of 5]

“the future” and “lake” are some of the best poems ever written. neil’s poetry got me into poetry when i was 16, and now i’ve gotten to read poems for him and written some of my best bc of his teaching and zoom hangouts. love him and his work forever <3

[Maxine Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"And mom, what's more punk rock than living despite all that which has trird to make you not?" - All Ages (Page 48)

The Furture is a phenomenal follow up to Neil Hilborn's first book, Our Numbered Days. I was fortunate to be able to attend one of Hilborn's poetry shows so I had the chance to pick up this book early. My favorite poems include The Door, Lake and of course The Future. His poems about mental illness and suicide are so raw and honest. The collection is extremely powerful.

[Millie Wisbeach · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favourite poets. I got this signed copy when he came to Cambridge, England to perform. So raw and personal

[Danielle Tebo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this collection! So much evolution involved in the length of Neil's story. A fair amount of laughs & tears bring this together in such a lovely way.

[Hannah Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 7/10 (I know, the stars are less and translate to 6/10, but there's no half stars and--)

It's weird because I absolutely adore Our Numbered Days, but I really didn't love this all that much. I went to my favourite new and used bookstore today and this was in fantastic condition for only like four bucks, and I'd been looking for it for cheap for forever (cheapskate flows through my veins). So I was thrilled, of course. Eventually I sat down in an orange reading chair in the bookstore and decided to actually read some of the collection. And I found myself thoroughly... disappointed. There are a few poems in the book that I really relate to and enjoy; standouts being, "Me, But Happy", "The Door", "The Future", and my favourite from this book (one of my favourites he's ever written), "I Don't Need To Have A Better Day, I Need To Feel Better About This One". Those poems were real and heartfelt. They were well-crafted. That's not to say the rest of the poems in the book were not. After all, this was my first time reading many of them, and I didn't get to every single one of them. But most of the others lacked the beauty and certain magic I longed for. The magic of Our Numbered Days. Hilborn writes with extreme honesty and a raw, sometimes bleeding view of reality. A relatable view. Feelings of depression, loneliness. One could argue that I didn't love the book because the subject matter just hit a little too close to home. I disagree. Our Numbered Days featured many of the same themes. A key difference in most of the poems, though, was hope. The Future often lacks any spark of hopefulness. The poems are grounded in reality, to the point of being too real-- there is not as much use of the imagination, not as much personification or analogy. The use of reality in his poems is something I appreciate when it is seen in a new light. That Hilborn mastered "this is the reality of life and the situation, but wait, here's another way to see it, look at it in a different light". That Hilborn crafted lines and poems that floored me. The Future is still relatable. It's still well-written from a technical standpoint. But in my opinion, it lacks a lot of the fantasy and beauty and imagery employed in its predecessor. This is an unpopular view-- many people think the only good poem in Hilborn's debut book was "OCD", and think this follow-up was a lot better of a book, but I personally have to disagree. I still greatly love Hilborn as a poet, I just don't think The Future should be his future in poetry. He still has more to give and I can't wait to see what he puts out. Meanwhile, I'm going to go return the library copy of Our Numbered Days that I've been holding onto and rereading for months and just go buy it for myself on Amazon.

[Ghada · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sorry but this Sucks! I do not feel connected to any of the poems and I do not agree with so many of the poet's ideas. He refers to voting as "dumb" and "silly". Sorry but voting is such a privilege that more than half the world don't have, it should be a right but it's seen as a privilege because of that. Obviously a white boy would see it that way because his ancestors didn't fight as hard or die like women or black people for the damn vote. And he goes on to hate on cats yet he adores his pet rat? He does this because cats will eat their owner's corpses. Let me tell you something Niel, so do rats. And his poetry is just so cliche and it's not poetic at all. I imagined it to be so much more because he says he wrote it while he was on the road. Nope, not voting for this for the goodreads award.

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

"You can't / be all about books without basically / becoming one."

I liked the Psalm 12 poems and the ode to his dead pet rat.

[Eline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve long wanted to read Neil Hilborn’s first collection of poems “Our Numbered Days” after first watching his slam poems or spoken word pieces a few years ago. I was taken with how honest and passionate he seemed like, often talking about mental illness, being diagnosed with OCD and bipolar disorder. This second collection of poems contains much of the same subjects, as Neil draws from his everyday life.

From the first poem “How do you sleep with an IV in?” I was completely here for it. I started reading this book while I was in the hospital with a lot of pain, perhaps not on accident as I knew Neil would talk about his own struggles and I needed something to connect with. I’ve read this book again afterwards, to be sure I liked it and was surprised by how much I marked and highlighted passages. Here’s the first sentences of “How do you sleep with an IV in?”:

It’s just for dehydration, the nurse

says. She hangs up this alien bladder

full of fluid so clear that it couldn’t

possibly be from anywhere but space.

The poems are often looking forward, as the title “The Future” might give away. But it looks forward by talking about the past. It wonders what would happen if this one thing was different. It’s about people, about journeys, about love (of course), about being on the road. Overall I find myself really liking Neil’s voice, how he thinks and his phrasing and that’s overall what holds on to me more than the subject of the poems.

Now I tried to pick out a part of a poem, to give examples of how good they are. But my favourites are a couple pages long and you need to read the whole thing to fully get it, so just trust me and get the book, thanks.

Favourite poems (for now): “How do you sleep with an IV in?”, “LAKE”, “I’m back, not for good”, “Blood in my sock”, “As much wind as possible”, “psalm 12, in which the author alienate his audience”, “The Future” – this one deserves an extra note as I was highlighting whole pages, Neil talks about his brain and suicide, about why he haven’t killed himself yet. He describes killing himself as a “glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave”. There’s lots of reasons and ways people are suicidal, so many I don’t yet know and of course poems like this doesn’t give you that complete understanding, but they’re an important step in seeing other’s experiences. It feels good to see thoughts like these expressed so well on a page.

Did I forgot to mention I love the poem titles? For those who feel like poems are difficult or lack self-irony, Neil Hilborn’s poems are the oposite of that. I would completely recommend this collection and I wish him all the best. I’m going to read “Our Numbered Days” soon.



Thanks for receiving this copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Mo]

I don't want to rate this book because it is hard to average all these poems into one rating. Some poems are worth 5 stars, some (to me) are worth 1.

In general though, I liked this book about as much as 'Our Numbered Days', written by the same author. This book is definitely written in a more healthy state of mind. Like the title suggests, Neil now has a more optimistic and hopeful view about his life, and this is the common thread throughout the poetry. But, naturally, there can't be poetry without misery, as you will notice when you see the quotes.

What I did found disappointing: there were many poems about cities or states in America. I can't relate to those descriptions and I also didn't find them that interesting.



Favourite poems:
Alternative universe in which my father did not leave but died
Lake
For Henry, Who Has Just Gone
The Future <3

Favourite quotes:
"The end isn't coming soon, just what's next"
"I don't want to die, I'm just embarrassed and that makes me long for death"
"I'm so sad I line up the knives and stare until one of them speaks. Where's the bad part, how do I carve it out, by now is it all rot?"
"Home is where I most comfortably have panick attacks"
"I've never walked into any room and wanted to stay"
"You can't be all books without basically becoming one"
"Some day I'm going to have a child. (...) Just like she'll need me alive then, she needs me alive now; I can't say goodbye before I've had a chance to say hello"
"The best part of being in love with you is that I never HAVE to brush my teeth, but gosh darn it do I want to"
"I no longer take apart what I cannot put together"
"The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring"
"Sunrise is going to come, all you have to do is wake up"
"I saw the future, I did, and in it, I was alive"

... and many more

[Brandon Forsyth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilborn's poetry always affects me - I'm just not always sure it helps me. This book delves deeply into difficult feelings about the hollowness of human connection and suicide, and it is bleak. There is a sense of hope throughout, but it has a tenuous hold on some of the poetry here. It really brought me low at points, and I'm not sure I was ever fully brought up again. But that's me. Hilborn is a fighter, at battle with existential forces, and the fact that he is out there, on the road, using this words to try to break through that hopelessness, is inspiring. I can't tell if I'm giving this four stars because of that persistent quality to the poetry, or because it forced me to reckon with some unresolved existential dread of my own, but either way, I was moved.

[Adela Clancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked about this is the tonal shift throughout. It felt very much like someone changing their perspectives day to day- focusing on little good things or entirely bad, then just focusing on little stories that seem to have little to do with the rest. I know that may sound a bit like maybe that wouldn’t be a good thing, but that’s what I appreciated about it. It’s about capturing the presence of drifting thought. Just a peek into someone’s sense of self one day to the next, I suppose.
I dunno, that’s what I gathered at least. Maybe next read I’ll find something different in it.

[M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I have to be honest, the time for me to really feel when reading or listening to Neil Hilborn has passed. I mostly liked sentences from one poem or the other, but I only enjoyed one or two poems wholly. Nevertheless, reading the poem "The future", the last one in the collection, hit me like a punch in the gut. I know that poem by heart, I know the intonation he does when reading it, the pauses, the tempo. It was a nice throwback and made this book worthy for me.

[Kasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed a lot of the poems in this collection, my favourites including “how do you sleep with an IV in?”, “revenge sex” , “the door” , “against hugs” , “ode to the gaslight anthem, ending in the end of childhood” , “for henry, who has just gone” and “the future.” Some poems I didn’t understand so that’s why I didn’t give it a 5 star.

[The Rudie Librarian (Brian) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This particular volume of Hilborn's is far superior to his previous volume. In this chapbook, Hilborn discusses his mental illness, relationships, the demonic nature of cats, and so much more. Some leave you feeling uncomfortable with the rawness of his candor, but others make you contemplate the nature of life, the universe, and lots of other things - as good poetry should do.

[vi ☽ .☆ﾟ. · Rating 5 out of 5]

tw: mentions of thoughts of suicide.

okay. listen, i have almost highlighted and taken pictures of everything in this book. I really came without any expectation but oh my god, this is definitely a 5-star read for me. (Only one biased opinion on my side is: I LOVE cats and there are two poems in this book which is funny but in a cat-disliking way. but it’s okay since it’s meant to be humorous)

[Shelby Anne Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Yes, there is a place where someone loves you before and after they learn what you are."

Really enjoyed Hilborn's ability to generate well-crafted verse that is as sardonic as it is genuine. He manages to be succinct yet detailed and accomplishes a great deal of storytelling with generally few words on the page.