The Autobiography of a Transgender Scientist

by Ben A. Barres, Nancy Hopkins (Foreword)

Ben Barres was known for his groundbreaking scientific work and for his groundbreaking advocacy for gender equality in science. In this book, completed shortly before his death from pancreatic cancer in December 2017, Barres (born Barbara Barres in 1954) describes a life full of remarkable accomplishments--from his childhood as a precocious math and science whiz to his experiences as a female student at MIT in the 1970s to his female-to-male transition in his forties, to his scientific work and role as teacher and mentor at Stanford. Barres recounts his early life--his interest in science, first manifested as a fascination with the mad scientist in Superman; his academic successes; and his gender confusion. Barres felt even as a very young child that he was assigned the wrong gender. After years of being acutely uncomfortable in his own skin, Barres transitioned from female to male. As an undergraduate at MIT, Barres experienced discrimination, but it was after transitioning that he realized how differently male and female scientists are treated. This led him to become an advocate for gender equality in science.

Genres: Science, Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, Biography, Queer, Transgender

160 pages, Hardcover

Published October 30, 2018

Reviews

[Dr. Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I knew this book existed much sooner than now. I never knew there was a transgender scientist who was successful, not to mention one who was trans, asexual and intersex!

This was such a lovely autobiography. Ben's voice is so clear and I really wish I could've met him. He sounded like not only an amazing scientist, but an amazing mentor and friend. I really hope I can find more queer scientists who are also successfully, especially either trans or nonbinary ones. It means a lot to see us out there succeeding.

The first 2/3's of this are about Ben's life which was super interesting. The last 1/3 is about his research. If you are not well versed in scientific papers you will have a hard time following it. I am and I have a basic understanding of glial cells and the brain and I still struggled just because of the speed of information. I will definitely have to find this in print and spend some time looking in his research. It sounded so cool!


CWs: Alcohol consumption, cancer, deadnaming, death, dysphoria, medical content, misogyny, sexism, suicidal thoughts, terminal illness, transphobia/transmisia.

[Ashton · Rating 4 out of 5]

this definitely isn’t for everyone but I really really enjoyed it!! Barres is a big inspiration for me and reading this just kinda filled me with joy. It’s not literary genius, but you can tell Barres’ heart went into it. I enjoyed the science section more than I thought I would, but if you don’t have background knowledge abt neuroscience you may just wanna skip over that part, honestly? Regardless, my overall review is this was very heartwarming and inspiring to me personally, and if you think you’d be interested based on the synopsis, give it a shot!

[Berit Lundqvist · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because I wanted to hear about the unique experience of being both a man and a woman. However, the major part of this book deals with Barres’s work as a neurobiologist.

Page after page with neuro lingo is really boring. At least to me. I would have wanted more about his actual transgender experience. The parts that dealt with that were interesting, but far too shallow. So many questions were left unanswered.

Cred to Barres for being an advocate for women’s rights and a competent mentor.

[Monical · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is too bad that this scientist's story got distilled into this slim volume. As a scientist myself, I can understand why over half of the book is about Barres' science, although I found this section tedious and I suspect a lot of readers won't get through it. The first part of the (very small) book discusses Barres' training, his lab, and his decision to transition from female to male. Unfortunately, the text is very dry and not very detailed. I got the impression that Barres may have also been somewhere on the autistic spectrum or at least very uncomfortable describing his feelings. However, that impression stands in contrast to his devotion to mentoring and his battles to fight sexism in organized science. I am left saddened that I won't know more about this person as this book was published after his death.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend (sections of this) book to everyone. Even in just the Foreword, Barres’ blistering ferocity AND humor comes through clearly.

Barres’ description of his life is fascinating and I wish it had been longer, although I feel fortunate this book exists at all. The Science section was fairly dry, even as a reader with a minor in neuroscience who knows a few of the trainees discussed! I’d recommend that readers feel free to skip that section, or dip into it to pick up some interesting tidbits, and focus on the first (Life) and third (advocacy) sections.

It’s too bad Barres’ advice on mentoring wasn’t reprinted here, but I’m looking forward to looking up that retaliation to Summers.

[Min · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a queer woman in STEM, this autobiography was a great starting point to learn more about the people who have paved the way for me and my career. I wish there was more focus on Ben’s advocacy work rather than his extensive scientific research (which I personally struggled to get through) but overall I think the makeup of the book is fitting for how passionate he was about his work. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed his autobiography and am grateful he took the time to write this before his passing.

[Sami Hoch · Rating 3 out of 5]

obsessed with ben and his decision to put a lot of science in this book that you need a neuroscience background to understand. it’s his memoir and he can do what he wants! and i support that for him tbh

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

So powerful and inspiring. Also made me want to do a postdoc?

[Ivonne Rovira · Rating 4 out of 5]

The late Ben Barres was truly loved. A brilliant scientist and neurologist, a devoted mentor, a hero in the LGBTQ+ community, Barres provides a brief biography of his life before and after transitioning from female to male. My heart went out to him for having lived in shame and discomfort for 40 years before he became truly himself. It was an eye-opening glimpse into how

But allow me to make a recommendation:
1. If you are science savvy, it does not matter what edition of this wonderful autobiography you read.
2. If you are like me, someone who really cannot follow the minutia about glial cells and microphages (whatever they are), you will be happiest if you read this book in paperback, hardcover or the Kindle format, so that you can skim the long passages on — well, from what I can gather some impressive scientific studies and medical advances. As I was reading the Audible edition, it was much harder to flip ahead. My enjoyment came from reading about Barres’ life and how differently Barbara Barres was treated from Ben Barres.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Barres describes his life, his scientific body of work, and his advocacy. People like him make the world a better place. If you don't care about his amazing science on the interaction of glia and neurons, skip the middle portion of the book; I suspect it's quite dry for non-scientists.

[Kailyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read most of this in between taking photos of glia cells for my lab on a microscope, which turned out very appropriate for the book!

I'm glad I picked this up. I'd heard of Ben's research since I work in biotech and neuroscience research and knew he was both an impactful glia scientist, transgender, and a supporter of women in STEM, but reading his life story and research in his own words was even more powerful. Ben mentioned a couple papers on gender and mentoring he'd written that I'll have to look up.

A smaller thing, I was very excited to learn about Ben's experience and study in both the life sciences and computer science. I was a biology major in college and also picked up a computer science degree after a wonderful mentor encouraged me that biology and computer science could work well together. I wish I'd known about Ben's experience then too!

Lots to think about from this one, both on the science side and on the personal side as a woman in STEM. I'm glad Ben was able to write this.

[Ekmef · Rating 4 out of 5]

Only buy this book if you happen to be interested in neuroscience. The truly autobiographical part is very short and the rest isn't very accessible, not even for a medical doctor with half a PhD who is married to a neuroscientist.

It is always nice to read about someone's journey, but this book doesn't go very deep; I feel his published essays are much more insightful. However, let's keep in mind that Barres wrote this book while literally on his deathbed. Of course he showcases his scientific work and of course he doesn't provide a very thorough exploration of all of his feelings. It is super sad to think about all the cool things he could have done with IPSCs.
Fuck cancer. So here's to more out and proud trans people in science!

[Maura O'Dea · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an amazing person!! I thought it was so fascinating how Ben’s experience presenting as a man and as a woman allowed him such clear insight into misogyny in STEM. I very much want to read his essay “Does Gender Matter?” There was a two chapter section that was ALL science jargon, so it was difficult to get through but I’m sure exciting to someone else. I’m just glad I know more about this wonderful man :)

[yejin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend anyone in academia or in a field of science to read. As someone who gets a type of passionate-angry at any injustices towards minority groups in academia, Ben Barres' writing and story inspires me to do something about it. The points Dr. Barres makes about finding work that sparks passion is also quite inspiring. This book is a wonderful memory to Dr. Barres and I would 100% read it again in a few years as a point of reflection, once my life has progressed a bit.

[Grace Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, scientists are bad writers. This was no exception. I am a neurobiologist who studies astrocytes (Ben Barres’ literal field of study) and even I was bored drudging through the details of his experiments (and I’ve read those papers and presented them at journal clubs!!). I don’t know how people who are not scientists could get through this. However, the premise and message were very interesting. I admire Ben Barres a ton, he was a phenomenal scientist who championed his students, which is rare in academia. However, I was really hoping that this book would address more issues about how men and women are treated differently in academia, as well as the unique challenges that trans students experience. Overall an interesting read, but approach at your own risk lol.

[Sweta Agrawal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read via audiobook.

I was very excited to read this book. I didn't know Ben Barres or even much about him until close to his passing. He really was a remarkable scientist and advocate. However, in this (very short book) he honestly does not talk a whole lot about his personal life, and his science chapter was unlistenable -- and I'm a fellow neuroscientist! It was incredibly hard to follow, and he would plow from one result right into the next, without contextualizing or providing any breaks to re-summarize. I ended up skipping it because it felt like the moment I got lost, there was no chance of finding my footing again.

He should probably be forgiven for many of these flaws -- he wrote this book post diagnosis and before his passing all while remaining amazingly scientifically active AND receiving cancer treatment, and so he probably did not have many opportunities for feedback and review. I really hope someone else will write a biography about Ben, he's definitely a remarkable and very interesting person.

[Tammy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a fellow Neuroscientist who has a great admiration for Ben I found this an interesting read. That being said it definitely reads as a book written by a Neuroscientist and isn't going to be for everyone. The writing is pretty matter of fact and succinct. At least for me while I found his story very interesting it also left me wanting for more details.

The first part deals with Ben's life. It truly was interesting learning about his experiences as a woman in science who transitioned later in life to a man as well as how he struggled with his transgender identity throughout his life.

The next part focuses on the scientific discoveries made by his lab. As a Neuroscientist, I largely enjoyed this as he has done a lot of cool science. Though it was not at all written in a way that a nonscientist would be able to follow along.

The last small section dealt with his advocacy work. I did find this interesting but was a little disappointed that it largely referenced other pieces he had done that should be looked at rather than describing those things again in the book.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry. No, I did not understand the section on his lab and their neuro discoveries. That’s ok. Ben’s work was who he was, and I can’t imagine a scientist writing a book that didn’t include their findings over the course of their career. I’m ok being too stupid to understand that part. The parts that I DID get were about how important it is to have good mentors in academia, and how important it is to be a good mentor to others.

The sexism in science (and academia) discussed in this book (and in Ben’s presentation that I found on YouTube) is both present and pervasive. I love that Ben debunked the “facts” used against women. I hope I can remember all of his talking points. I bought a few copies of this book to give out after a trans man picked up my library copy at work and wanted me to loan it to him.

All women should read this. All academics should read this. All queer people should read this. Mostly though, straight men need to read this, and BE BETTER.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful to read. Even I got a little lost in the science in the middle (and neuroscience is my field...) but I appreciated the many call-outs he gives to his mentees in that section, and I loved reading the parts about his life story and advocacy work.

[Ceris Backstrom]

This book is 20% about women in science, 10% about being transgender, and 70% absolutely incomprehensible science about glial cells with absolutely no dumbing down or contextualizing. Oh lmao also the forward feels kinda transphobic be warned

[VeganMedusa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skipped over the science and just read his story.

[Grace Hennessey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listening to this on audio was great. What an interesting and inspiring life.

[Leonardo Diehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a young transgender man who desires a career in biomedical engineering, I have never felt so seen and touched. This book is really special.

[Mackenzie Marrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a privilege it is to have books like this! I was able to access the audiobook of this title though the Queer Liberation Library, and followed along with the free PDF available from Transreads.org.

Ben Barres was a pioneer in the research of glial cells and tragically passed away from pancreatic cancer a year before his autobiography was published. This work was originally published in the journal collection The History of Neuroscience in Autobiography which is a book series that "details the lives and discoveries of eminent senior neuroscientists".

All of this to say, The Autobiography of a Transgender Scientist is a scientific reflection not a literary work, it was never supposed to be a literary work- and to treat it as such is a great disservice to the author.

While Barre's life does end in tragedy, this is not a story of tragedy. It's a triumph! Transitioning in the late 90's (from his recollection), Barres is accepted warmly and without questions by his community, work, and friends. He even continued on to have an even more incredible career in science- his one true love. This is an unfortunate and stark contrast to where we are today with our recent moral panic around transgender individuals. Written only in 2017, it feels as if Barres is from another time- where yes there were struggles and hatred, but not on the universal scale we face today. I believe he would be gravely disappointed to see where we are now. Especially when he had found solace in the very person's work who now seeks to eradicate all people like him.

The Autobiography of a Transgender Scientist is a short 160-page dissemination of the life of an incredible, influential neuroscientist who helped lead the way in his field, and for gender equality in science. The book includes details of his work with glial cells (which I largely skipped over, as I am not a neuroscientist and was not the target audience), and frank scientific discussions about gender dysphoria, being transgender and finding himself, and the deep emotional shame and suicidal feelings that come with unaddressed gender dysphoria. It is not lyrical, but it is real and evocative. With a touching forward by molecular biologist and peer Nancy Hopkins, we get the groundwork for who Ben Barres was in the field of science, and as a mentoring force to all who met him.

Born as Barbara in 1954, Barres always knew he was going to be a scientist. His passion and skill for the work excelled him in school and drove him through late nights in the lab. Despite his extensive education, like many in his era, Barres wasn't too aware of "transgenderism". He knew something wasn't quite right, but he lacked the language and safety to express his feelings of deep gender dysphoria to anyone.

While Barres noticed, the occasional obstacles when it came to education and his achievements never being acknowledged, being so far removed from his gender assigned at birth, it wasn't until much later did he realize that sexism was stopping him at every corner. And once finding himself, and transitioning, Barres made it his mission to encourage, support, and help promote women and people of color in the sciences. And he is still known for his kindness and tenacity today.

I highly recommend giving this short book a chance- or at least peak at the quote page I spent a while facilitating to get a feeling for the incredible man Barres was: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/61216225

Other Resources Barres references in his book

- Does Gender Matter? Nature.com article by Ben A. Barres

- Some Reflections on the Dearth of Women in Science: A talk at Harvard Univ. by Ben Barres (the link to this talk in his book no longer works)

[Elysse · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t know how to rate this book. I am frustrated that no one made me aware of this book earlier in my career as a nonbinary scientist and trainee at Stanford. But, as grateful as I am for Ben’s honesty and openness, this book lacks. I felt almost no emotion from Ben’s words, which surprised me given the outspokenness with which Ben is described in Nancy’s foreword. Despite the title, Ben’s identity as a part of the LGBTQ+ community felt like an afterthought. I am so glad he used his voice for creating change for female scientists, but I can’t help but wonder, as I struggle with some of the same issues Ben did (and things that are widely shared by many/most queer folks), what impact he had on Stanford to make it a better environment for queer and trans scientists. I’m so glad Ben didn’t have to struggle more, and that he had the privileges he had that allowed him to succeed, but I am curious what this memoir would have looked like if he had written it before facing his own mortality so acutely.

[Meghan Cum · Rating 3 out of 5]

ben barres was an incredible human being. his story and his activism are truly inspiring. the first half (life) and the activism chapter are enthralling. the forward equally so, and his emails made me smile from ear to ear and laugh out loud. the science chapter was incredibly dense and honestly hard to get thru even tho i study neuroscience. however, it is clear that he is an excellent mentor and incredibly proud of all his mentees as he lists many of his trainees achievements in the Science chapter.

[Cindy H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook which was a bit dry and robotic in part to the narrator and the written material. I still found the foreword, first part and last part very interesting but I did tune out for the scientific research.
Ben Barres, born a female transitioned in his 40’s after spending most of his academic & student life as a female in a mostly gender inequality field of study and learning. Because of Ben’s unique circumstances he was able to be a vocal advocate for female scientists and push for reform. Sadly, Ben was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he died much too young. #BorrowNotBuy #Hoopla

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My apologies firstly to the late author for my lack of scientific knowledge, which I know impacted on my ability to read the entire content fully.
But
The bits I understood, that relate directly to gender inequality are gold.
I imagine many folk will be like me and be forced through lack of base knowledge, to skin read large sections of the content but I still consider it a worthwhile read

[nkp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this in Kindle ebook form. It was good! It was okay! Not the most gripping or revolutionary but pretty interested. You can def tell it was written by a true scientist- lots of deviations and tangents. A whole chunk of the book was devoted to glia cells. Don't get me wrong, I love a good glia now and again but not what I was expecting. Won't read again, but I appreciate that I did.

[Debbie Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow wow Ben Barres is such an Inspiration. May he Rest in Peace.

Ben is such an incredible advocate for women in science. I am in awe!!!

The second half of the book is pretty heavy on the neuroscience and was a bit difficult for me to follow, but the book is definitely extremely worth reading regardless!!