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Called to Peace: A Survivor’s Guide to Finding Peace and Healing After Domestic Abuse
What do you do when you don’t believe in divorce, but find yourself in a toxic, or even dangerous, marriage? This is an agonizing struggle for many women; it certainly was for Joy Forrest, founder of Called to Peace Ministries.Joy prayed, sought counseling, and read every book she could find on the subject, but the intimidation she endured from her husband continued to escalate until fleeing the danger became her only option. Even then, she found herself overwhelmed by guilt and shame. As a devout Believer, Joy immersed herself in prayer and Bible study and, over time, began to see God’s heart for the oppressed and realized the erroneous beliefs that had kept her in bondage. Called to Peace is one part memoir and one part guidebook. Joy’s story and insight will help you to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, as well as provide you spiritual truths to combat guilt and promote healing after abuse. Whether you are in an abusive relationship yourself, or desire to help someone else who is suffering from domestic abuse, this book offers hope, inspiration, and biblical guidance.
164 pages, Paperback
Published March 14, 2018
26 people are currently reading
65 people want to read
About the author
Joy Forrest
4 books12 followersJoy Forrest is the executive director of Called to Peace Ministries. She has been an advocate for victims of domestic violence since 1997 and holds an M.A. in Biblical Counseling from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She held the position of Community Educator for a domestic violence agency in the early 2000's, and has served as a biblical counselor since 2005. Her own experiences as a survivor of domestic abuse, along with her involvement with the the shelter and church counseling, caused her to see a major need for churches to become better equipped to help families affected by DV. In January 2015, she helped establish Called to Peace to promote domestic violence awareness, particularly within the faith community. Joy is a Certified Advocate with the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence .
The twofold purpose of Called to Peace Ministries is to provide education to those interested in learning effective strategies for dealing with family violence, and to provide practical assistance to those affected by it. Joy has spoken on domestic violence in a variety of venues from seminary classrooms, to seminars and conferences, to radio and television. Her blog contains many articles on domestic abuse, as well as posts on other counseling issues and victorious Christian living.
The twofold purpose of Called to Peace Ministries is to provide education to those interested in learning effective strategies for dealing with family violence, and to provide practical assistance to those affected by it. Joy has spoken on domestic violence in a variety of venues from seminary classrooms, to seminars and conferences, to radio and television. Her blog contains many articles on domestic abuse, as well as posts on other counseling issues and victorious Christian living.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 26, 2020
Good resources within; her personal story throughout
I like Joy Forrest’s collection of Scripture references in the back. These will prove to be more beneficial than anything else the book has, as I believe Joy will agree, since they provide women the strength, comforts, and truths explained through the book as well.
I was a bit surprised not to find information on the theology of divorce, as I thought—from the back cover’s info.—the topic of divorce would be somewhat discussed.
This book will be helpful for those walking through—or with someone who’s experienced—domestic abuse. If you’re walking through and/or out of the abuse, I recommend going through it at your own pace and always as a secondary book to the Bible...preferably the Psalms. The Bible guides and provides all the truth we need & Jill walks us through some lessons she learned as reading Scripture herself...especially parts she grew up hating or misunderstanding due to others twisting the Scriptures.
This book is a good resource to have alongside other helpful books like Leslie Vernick’s “The Destructive Marriage” and Chris Moles’ podcasts, and the Cry for Justice website.
I do want to warn about the ending of the book though, where Jill talks about victim mentalities and owning mistakes women make that may put them (again) in abusive situations. Please note she says this because of her experience of seeing the abuse and covering it up out of fear of others and her husband; she also mentions this because some women go from one abusive relationship to another and she’s trying to help them break that cycle by telling them to renew their minds with the truth that God has a better way and that those relationships are not godly or normal.
So when reading the last 2 chapters, keep this in mind: when she talks of women’s mistakes in abusive relationships, she’s not talking about reasons women get abused (there are NEVER justifications for abuse; abuse is the abuser’s choice and responsibility)—she’s talking about errors and lies in thinking about oneself, God, and others that can keep someone in oppressive situations God wants to free us from (e.g. her not wanting to tell others about abuse bc of her husband’s good reputation in the church; or when church leaders blamed her for the abuse; there are plenty of lies women can learn to identify and fight using Scripture). I think she could’ve clarified this in the section she talks about women’s mistakes, but I’m glad she clarifies in other areas.
I like Joy Forrest’s collection of Scripture references in the back. These will prove to be more beneficial than anything else the book has, as I believe Joy will agree, since they provide women the strength, comforts, and truths explained through the book as well.
I was a bit surprised not to find information on the theology of divorce, as I thought—from the back cover’s info.—the topic of divorce would be somewhat discussed.
This book will be helpful for those walking through—or with someone who’s experienced—domestic abuse. If you’re walking through and/or out of the abuse, I recommend going through it at your own pace and always as a secondary book to the Bible...preferably the Psalms. The Bible guides and provides all the truth we need & Jill walks us through some lessons she learned as reading Scripture herself...especially parts she grew up hating or misunderstanding due to others twisting the Scriptures.
This book is a good resource to have alongside other helpful books like Leslie Vernick’s “The Destructive Marriage” and Chris Moles’ podcasts, and the Cry for Justice website.
I do want to warn about the ending of the book though, where Jill talks about victim mentalities and owning mistakes women make that may put them (again) in abusive situations. Please note she says this because of her experience of seeing the abuse and covering it up out of fear of others and her husband; she also mentions this because some women go from one abusive relationship to another and she’s trying to help them break that cycle by telling them to renew their minds with the truth that God has a better way and that those relationships are not godly or normal.
So when reading the last 2 chapters, keep this in mind: when she talks of women’s mistakes in abusive relationships, she’s not talking about reasons women get abused (there are NEVER justifications for abuse; abuse is the abuser’s choice and responsibility)—she’s talking about errors and lies in thinking about oneself, God, and others that can keep someone in oppressive situations God wants to free us from (e.g. her not wanting to tell others about abuse bc of her husband’s good reputation in the church; or when church leaders blamed her for the abuse; there are plenty of lies women can learn to identify and fight using Scripture). I think she could’ve clarified this in the section she talks about women’s mistakes, but I’m glad she clarifies in other areas.
February 1, 2020
So far, the best book I’ve read for women coming out of DV. Biblically sound, personal without a trace of husband bashing or bitterness, helpful without being too intellectual and overwhelming with reality and truth. It’s also short, about 125 pages not including appendix, so it’s a manageable read for people who are coming out of trauma.
July 10, 2018
Excellent book!
So similar to my own 40 year story. I believe her biblical counselling slant to be true in general but the new things we are learning about PTSD should be acknowledged ... such as the inability to choose sometimes since trauma causes pathways in the brain that have been on "automatic" for survival. Thank you, Joy, for sharing your horrific story and for your tireless advocacy for victims. Will definitely recommend this book.
So similar to my own 40 year story. I believe her biblical counselling slant to be true in general but the new things we are learning about PTSD should be acknowledged ... such as the inability to choose sometimes since trauma causes pathways in the brain that have been on "automatic" for survival. Thank you, Joy, for sharing your horrific story and for your tireless advocacy for victims. Will definitely recommend this book.
June 1, 2022
Called to Peace by Joy Forrest is an in-depth look into the story and heart of an abuse survivor who has found peace and healing from her abusive marriage, as well as from the damaging beliefs that kept her tethered to the abuse. It is compelling and well-written, without graphic descriptions that could be triggering for those reading the book.
Having followed the resources of Called to Peace for quite some time, I was surprised to find in this book a definite push/slant towards “biblical” or “nouthetic” counseling. This slant becomes more pronounced in the last few chapters of the book. I have a ton of respect for Joy Forrest and Called to Peace Ministries, which seems to be a good, helpful, and healthy resource for those looking to escape abusive situations. As a Christian who loves the Bible, I believe God’s Word does indeed provide comfort, healing, and guidance. However, what is commonly referred to as “biblical counseling” has so often inflicted further harm and pain onto victims, that I find it disheartening when abuse advocates and ministries double down on pushing this form of counseling. This is so confusing and can be very manipulative and crazy-making for those stuck in legalistic/spiritually abusive communities.
I pushed through the very nouthetic-heavy chapters admonishing victims to “forgive, acknowledge their own sins of idol-worship, put away their anger and bitterness, and stop living with a ‘victim mentality’” (a term I found especially surprising and disappointing), expecting that there would eventually be some suggestions for trauma-informed resources to balance it out. Instead, the book ends with the impression that survivors will primarily find healing from depression, PTSD, and trauma through meditating on Scripture verses. No other resources are mentioned, other than an occasional reference to James Dobson’s book, Love Must Be Tough, at least not that I remember hearing in the audiobook. Perhaps the paperback version includes more resources.
I do believe that healing is found in the Father heart of God, and Joy’s writing on this is beautiful and comforting. Peace does come from healthy and whole relationship with Him. Her story is very vulnerable, honest, powerful, and needed. I also appreciate that she shared her journey away from the destructive belief that God did not want her to divorce her abusive husband. My hope is that any future editions of this book will include a more balanced approach to the need for trauma-informed counseling and helpers in this area, helpful resources beyond Scripture, as well as some clarification given that just because counseling is called “biblical” does not mean it is safe, as the word “biblical” has been so very often twisted and manipulated to keep victims in chains.
This book would be great paired with Rebecca Davis’ series, Untwisting Scriptures, to help balance out some of the nouthetic slant.
Having followed the resources of Called to Peace for quite some time, I was surprised to find in this book a definite push/slant towards “biblical” or “nouthetic” counseling. This slant becomes more pronounced in the last few chapters of the book. I have a ton of respect for Joy Forrest and Called to Peace Ministries, which seems to be a good, helpful, and healthy resource for those looking to escape abusive situations. As a Christian who loves the Bible, I believe God’s Word does indeed provide comfort, healing, and guidance. However, what is commonly referred to as “biblical counseling” has so often inflicted further harm and pain onto victims, that I find it disheartening when abuse advocates and ministries double down on pushing this form of counseling. This is so confusing and can be very manipulative and crazy-making for those stuck in legalistic/spiritually abusive communities.
I pushed through the very nouthetic-heavy chapters admonishing victims to “forgive, acknowledge their own sins of idol-worship, put away their anger and bitterness, and stop living with a ‘victim mentality’” (a term I found especially surprising and disappointing), expecting that there would eventually be some suggestions for trauma-informed resources to balance it out. Instead, the book ends with the impression that survivors will primarily find healing from depression, PTSD, and trauma through meditating on Scripture verses. No other resources are mentioned, other than an occasional reference to James Dobson’s book, Love Must Be Tough, at least not that I remember hearing in the audiobook. Perhaps the paperback version includes more resources.
I do believe that healing is found in the Father heart of God, and Joy’s writing on this is beautiful and comforting. Peace does come from healthy and whole relationship with Him. Her story is very vulnerable, honest, powerful, and needed. I also appreciate that she shared her journey away from the destructive belief that God did not want her to divorce her abusive husband. My hope is that any future editions of this book will include a more balanced approach to the need for trauma-informed counseling and helpers in this area, helpful resources beyond Scripture, as well as some clarification given that just because counseling is called “biblical” does not mean it is safe, as the word “biblical” has been so very often twisted and manipulated to keep victims in chains.
This book would be great paired with Rebecca Davis’ series, Untwisting Scriptures, to help balance out some of the nouthetic slant.
July 13, 2018
I wish this book has been around 15+ years ago when I desperately needed the valuable insights in this book. Even years later, there are so much encouragement and support to gain when reading this book. If you have ever experienced any form of domestic abuse,, or are in the midst of it, or know someone who has, or could ever have the opportunity to minister to someone in the future, you MUST READ THIS BOOK.
April 3, 2019
Required reading.
CALLED TO PEACE should be required reading for all children whose mothers are leaving or have left their fathers. A beautiful spiritual guide for women who are suffering abuse at the hands of their husbands or a means of healing for those who have left an abusive spouse.
CALLED TO PEACE should be required reading for all children whose mothers are leaving or have left their fathers. A beautiful spiritual guide for women who are suffering abuse at the hands of their husbands or a means of healing for those who have left an abusive spouse.
November 16, 2023
I recently livestreamed CCEF’s annual conference (this years theme was Trauma) and that’s where I first heard Joy Forrest speak about her ministry to abused women as well as her own personal experience. I was impressed enough that I decided to listen to the audiobook on hoopla.
This is an Excellent little book - it’s the author’s personal story of living in domestic abuse and then coming out of it and the healing process from victim to Victor. BUT it’s also a handbook for women in DV or escaping it, on how to understand your own thought patterns, ways to move beyond the brainwashing that happens to DV victims.
And, significantly, there’s much practical theology in it - ways of understanding who God is and what he actually says in the Bible to those living in abusive homes. I appreciate her personal knowledge of connection to scripture and how she shares it.
I also appreciate that she doesn’t bash marriage or men or the church, even as she is very realistic and honest about the ways that she’s suffered in her marriage and with some Church leaders.
I’ve never experienced this kind of abuse myself, but I know women who have, and I want to understand better so as to be a better friend. This book was very helpful in understanding the mindset and the process of becoming victimized - as well as the process of leaving the situation and pursuing healing and wholeness.
This is an Excellent little book - it’s the author’s personal story of living in domestic abuse and then coming out of it and the healing process from victim to Victor. BUT it’s also a handbook for women in DV or escaping it, on how to understand your own thought patterns, ways to move beyond the brainwashing that happens to DV victims.
And, significantly, there’s much practical theology in it - ways of understanding who God is and what he actually says in the Bible to those living in abusive homes. I appreciate her personal knowledge of connection to scripture and how she shares it.
I also appreciate that she doesn’t bash marriage or men or the church, even as she is very realistic and honest about the ways that she’s suffered in her marriage and with some Church leaders.
I’ve never experienced this kind of abuse myself, but I know women who have, and I want to understand better so as to be a better friend. This book was very helpful in understanding the mindset and the process of becoming victimized - as well as the process of leaving the situation and pursuing healing and wholeness.
April 27, 2021
Tremendously helpful
An eye-opening, yet heartbreaking look inside the world of domestic abuse from the perspective of the abused. Joy Forrest candidly shares her personal story and the truths from God’s Word that helped her go from victim to victor.
Abuse takes many forms as highlighted in the book. Had I not read this, I would have made many of the same mistakes that Joy Forrest points out – mistakes that well-meaning pastors and churches make in an attempt to help, but that actually do considerable harm to the one trapped in an abusive relationship.
Highly recommended to anyone in the ministry, but especially to pastors and pastors’ wives, as we are often the one of the first ones reached out to in these types of situations.
An eye-opening, yet heartbreaking look inside the world of domestic abuse from the perspective of the abused. Joy Forrest candidly shares her personal story and the truths from God’s Word that helped her go from victim to victor.
Abuse takes many forms as highlighted in the book. Had I not read this, I would have made many of the same mistakes that Joy Forrest points out – mistakes that well-meaning pastors and churches make in an attempt to help, but that actually do considerable harm to the one trapped in an abusive relationship.
Highly recommended to anyone in the ministry, but especially to pastors and pastors’ wives, as we are often the one of the first ones reached out to in these types of situations.
September 4, 2024
I was surprised to learn how prevelant domestic abuse is in our society. It's particularly challenging for women of faith who are trying to adhere to God's word. And though I can't relate with Joy's experience, it opened my eyes to the difficulties of women who find themselves in this situation. This book is a salve for women who are survivors. It offers direction, hope, and encouragement when there seems to be no answers.
October 11, 2021
As a survivor of domestic abuse, I found this book encouraging as I continue to heal. Joy’s personal story is one of many heart rending stories women of abuse live, and yet she has used it to inspire others to thrive, not just survive after abuse. I appreciate the reminder to turn to God, Who has given all the resources needed to overcome, & then use our pain to help others.
October 23, 2024
This was a timely read as I've taken on a new role at church and want to be able to support women in abusive situations. If you're in ministry this is a must read. Too often the church doesn't know how to help victims and retraumatizes them with lack of support or even blame. I would definitely recommend this and will probably be buying some extra copies to give to some friends who are in marriages where abuse is happening.
June 14, 2018
There is power in forgiveness and healing
Joy tells the story of what she went through and how she recovered from it. She talks about the importance of forgiving your abuser so that you are no longer a victim and that God can use you to help others.
Joy tells the story of what she went through and how she recovered from it. She talks about the importance of forgiving your abuser so that you are no longer a victim and that God can use you to help others.
February 16, 2023
Quick read, yet one that allows you to have a glimpse of someone’s life who was in an abusive relationship. Joy did a great job of communicating her story and others’ in a way that urges the reader to grow in empathy. Definitely recommend to anyone and everyone!
December 4, 2023
Excellent book to help me understand what it’s like for our sisters in Christ caught in the web of an abusive relationship.
January 2, 2024
A must read for understanding domestic abuse.
July 17, 2024
I am a “people helper” and read this book for research. It’s AMAZING!
November 29, 2025
Love this for support of women.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews