After the Diagnosis...: A Guide for Living

by Thomas F. Lynch, Barbara Mariconda

Regardless of our age or status, any one of us could be faced with a diagnosis - it might be a curable sickness or a chronic disease, a serious condition or a terminal illness. In the 21st century, dying is, more often than not, an elongated process that may stretch out for many years. And since all of us will, eventually, die, the question is, how do we live well while dying? How can we avoid being bullied by the obsessive inner voices of anxiety and fear that leave us self-absorbed and disconnected from the very life we hope to save? In this book, we'll share a rare slice of heaven that can be grasped on this side of the grave, at any point along the path of living and dying. A place beyond acceptance. A place of transformation in which we can realize, in the fullest, purest way, what our life's purpose has been, and what an amazing gift we can entrust to those we'll leave behind. We can learn to embrace mystery, to understand that our suffering can be transformative. Our legacy can become one of love - pure, powerful, and eternal. It's never too early to embark on this work of living and loving that begins and ends with God. Healing work that deepens faith and enriches relationships, inspires open, honest, and loving conversations, and frees us from the burdens of our ego selves. As inspirational as it is practical, this book is intended for patients and caregivers, friends and family - anyone struggling to live life wholly and joyfully during the challenges of sickness, dying, and death.

386 pages, Paperback

Published March 26, 2018

Reviews

[Victor Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A dear friend of mine, who has not only experienced the harsh reality of sustained illness that has left her on death’s door multiple times but has also enjoyed the personal and pastoral comfort of Fr. Thomas Lynch, sent me a copy of his book After the Diagnosis…a Guide for Living a few weeks ago. Without this personal recommendation, I likely would not have looked at it twice much less read it carefully, taking much of its advice into consideration. At first, it struck me as too narrowly religious (Catholic) in approach. Then the subject matter, as presented in its subtitle, The Transformative Power of Love During Sickness, Dying and Death, is, well, morbid, at least in part. I’ll admit that the desire to better understand and help my friend in her condition started me reading it. But it was to understand and help myself (now healthy but in my seventies) that I read it through and incorporated it into my daily meditations.
This is a practical manual prepared by a duo of authors who have spent face time at the bedsides of many ill and dying people where words without solid truth behind them wilt faster than cut flowers in the desert sun. Coming through with clarity is their intention to support and comfort those human angels, professional and familial, to whom it falls to care for the sick during the final vigil. Their advice to be applied in the most critical of life situations is delivered with exquisite care and reverence for both patient and caregiver. That Rev. Lynch and Barbara Mariconda succeed, as the numerous testimonials proclaim, puts their book in that growing and vital library , which includes the works of the likes of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and Eben Alexander, which addresses the supremely important but largely avoided subject of our mortality.
One reservation for the non-Catholic : in the book’s Introduction, the authors, while acknowledging that the book “is written through the lens of the Catholic Christian faith,” claim that “the ideas, insights, and practices point to the universal core truths that make them applicable to all religious traditions.” I was disappointed that this thread of inclusive Universalism, which underlies the deepest religious/spiritual urge in all humans, was too frequently limited to explanations and practices of a single tradition. An opportunity missed.

[Katherine L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be an amazingly helpful book. The references to Roman Catholicism were at times a little bit of a distraction for me, but that was minor in light of the wealth of insight, compassion, and practical advice offered. Over the course of reading the book, the authors became what felt like good friends to me, wise spiritual guides able to help me relax into the mysteries of life and death. I am rereading and working through some of the journaling exercises, in particular the chapter on expanding "the fertile field of your heart" through storytelling. This book will remain active on my bookshelf -- within easy reach -- for some time to come.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite knowing Fr Tom personally, this book really resonated with me. My outlook on loss, whether it's death or something less extreme, has changed forever. This book is a tool I'll use for a long time to help get through tough times and to help guide those I love. Read this BEFORE your life "turns on a dime." If only more people understood what their ego can make them do to diminish a loved one's quality of life. Congratulations Fr Tom on giving us this gift and your experiences to learn from.