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sunfish
A poetry collection exploring fractured familial relationships, fresh grief surrounding the death of the author’s grandparents from years before, and living in the loss of what could have been. Many of these poems are letters- whether they’ll make it to who they’re meant for is a wearisome wondering, a mystery to be solved in the next life.
90 pages, Paperback
First published June 4, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
December 30, 2019
What did I just read? My favourite poetry collection ever? Yes.
I felt like it had been written for me. I’ve never read anything that speaks so much to my soul. This is my favourite poetry collection. Of course it is, it just seems so obvious.
It got me sobbing from the beginning to the very end. I felt every word. The lines about being Jewish found their home in me.
I just loved every single second I spent reading this collection, every single word.
I felt like it had been written for me. I’ve never read anything that speaks so much to my soul. This is my favourite poetry collection. Of course it is, it just seems so obvious.
It got me sobbing from the beginning to the very end. I felt every word. The lines about being Jewish found their home in me.
I just loved every single second I spent reading this collection, every single word.
May 1, 2020
I was very looking forward to reading something by Shelby Eileen and overall I think this poetry collections was a nice read. It mainly focuses on family relations and memories and some of the poems truly resonated with me. I especially enjoyed the poems addressed to the grandparents.
I'll definitely check out this author's other works.
I'll definitely check out this author's other works.
January 5, 2019
This book was honestly perfect. I marked it as part of my f/f shelf, although I will make an additional note that this is not a collection that goes into romantic relationships, but it is written by a f/f author and references their sexuality which is why I have put it on this shelf.
The poetry collection is divided into four sections: Dad, Mom, Zaidy and Bubbi. It opens with both Yiddish word meanings as well as personal meanings and the following content warning list:
death of a family member
grief
mourning
emotional abuse
ableism
mention of knives
mention of blood
strong language
anti-semitism
The death of a family member, I will mention, is not something unexpected and it is explored as something that has helped the author define who they are. As has done the grief and the lack of a figure to offer a guiding path that is complimentary to the person writing this collection.
But what really struck me was the fact that, unlike much modern poetry, the voice in this collection isn't abrasive, isn't venomous. It comes across as factual truth only from the perspective of the author as opposed to a more universal truth.
Although it took me a little while to get use to the formatting and the lack of titles for each of the poems in this collection, the writing style really got to me in a way that I found empathetic and not at all alienating.
The poetry collection is divided into four sections: Dad, Mom, Zaidy and Bubbi. It opens with both Yiddish word meanings as well as personal meanings and the following content warning list:
death of a family member
grief
mourning
emotional abuse
ableism
mention of knives
mention of blood
strong language
anti-semitism
The death of a family member, I will mention, is not something unexpected and it is explored as something that has helped the author define who they are. As has done the grief and the lack of a figure to offer a guiding path that is complimentary to the person writing this collection.
But what really struck me was the fact that, unlike much modern poetry, the voice in this collection isn't abrasive, isn't venomous. It comes across as factual truth only from the perspective of the author as opposed to a more universal truth.
Although it took me a little while to get use to the formatting and the lack of titles for each of the poems in this collection, the writing style really got to me in a way that I found empathetic and not at all alienating.
May 31, 2018
Gorgeous. There's not much you can say about something so deeply personal, aside from that I admire the author's ability to put such difficult topics on the page. If you like poetry and enjoy having your heart ripped out in the best way, this one's for you.
June 15, 2018
4.5 stars
I am going to lay down my worry and my letters
and try to remember that not all the weight i carry around
is necessary
This was so wonderful and honest and real and heartbreaking. I'm in awe of Shelby writing a collection about family, family members and what they mean or don't mean to us. I love this topic and can't imagine how difficult it must have been to dig up these memories, this hurt, all of this feeling.
It was very different from Soft in the Middle which i am in awe of as well. It's not that the voice is different, but the topic shows another side and i am impressed that Shelby made two strong and important collections that are so different and yet share so much. That she can write two poetry books both unique from each other and all others i have read.
how many times did people call you crazy
and did you ever figure out how to unstick that word from the reality of what you were
I related to the subjects in her first collection more and you should really read it, but you should really read this one too. I related to this a lot more than i thought i would. Which is because i have a lot of things about myself i still need to discover. And because there were more topics here that were about me than i thought after all. And because Shelby can write, damn can she write. I felt things so deeply and got goosebumps and inspiration for snippets of my own and got overwhelmed and felt and felt and felt.
i think we will always be lost
and too full of love
we don't know how to give
to each other
properly
I am going to lay down my worry and my letters
and try to remember that not all the weight i carry around
is necessary
This was so wonderful and honest and real and heartbreaking. I'm in awe of Shelby writing a collection about family, family members and what they mean or don't mean to us. I love this topic and can't imagine how difficult it must have been to dig up these memories, this hurt, all of this feeling.
It was very different from Soft in the Middle which i am in awe of as well. It's not that the voice is different, but the topic shows another side and i am impressed that Shelby made two strong and important collections that are so different and yet share so much. That she can write two poetry books both unique from each other and all others i have read.
how many times did people call you crazy
and did you ever figure out how to unstick that word from the reality of what you were
I related to the subjects in her first collection more and you should really read it, but you should really read this one too. I related to this a lot more than i thought i would. Which is because i have a lot of things about myself i still need to discover. And because there were more topics here that were about me than i thought after all. And because Shelby can write, damn can she write. I felt things so deeply and got goosebumps and inspiration for snippets of my own and got overwhelmed and felt and felt and felt.
i think we will always be lost
and too full of love
we don't know how to give
to each other
properly
June 14, 2018
This collection was really intense and beautiful and heartbreaking. I related to so much of what Eileen wrote about. Family is really difficult, and I really felt a lot of what she talked about.
Read
August 22, 2020Reading this book, I could feel how personal to the author it was. It felt like they were laying their soul bare on the page for everyone to see, and for that reason alone I think it's a special one. It didn't hit me like Soft in the Middle did, but I feel like it could do what that one did for me for the right people.
June 16, 2020
This was the last poetry collection by Shelby Eileen that I hadn't read yet, and I once again really loved it! Personally, this was the one I could relate to the least. But every single one of the poems was so beautiful and touching, and everything was so honest, that this really didn't matter. On top of that, I think this collection was my favourite stylistically.
May 28, 2018
you taught me a lemon language / something that is inflected in pale yellows and gold / something that showed me what it is to be soft and light / while still being corrosive
I received an e-arc of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much to Shelby for sending this to me, this is actually my first ever arc and I’m super excited about it. I also reviewed this book on Youtube if you'd like to check it out!
Sunfish immediately stood out to me because its primary theme is family. That made it stand apart from most of the other collections I’ve read, which have tended to focus on romantic relationships.
The poems in this book are centred around the speaker’s relationship with her parents and grandparents. This is obviously something which is unique to the poet, and yet a lot of the poems in this collection made me feel wonderfully nostalgic, like I was basking in the sunlight. It was really visceral and had great energy. I feel like it has its own very specific aesthetic and it definitely evoked these really strong images in my mind.
I enjoyed Shelby’s first collection ‘Soft in the Middle’, but that collection focused mainly on shorter micro-poems. I was excited to see some longer poems from her, and this book definitely delivered. Some of the poems spanned several pages and it was great to see her expanding upon different themes and ideas; I felt like the longer forms really strengthened the poetry for me.
The only thing I would change about this collection is that I felt one or two of the poems could have used a slightly tighter edit. There were a few lines here and there which I felt could have been cut to improve the overall flow of some of the poems, but this is a very small thing and obviously down to individual preference.
Overall I really enjoyed Sunfish and would definitely recommend it!
I received an e-arc of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much to Shelby for sending this to me, this is actually my first ever arc and I’m super excited about it. I also reviewed this book on Youtube if you'd like to check it out!
Sunfish immediately stood out to me because its primary theme is family. That made it stand apart from most of the other collections I’ve read, which have tended to focus on romantic relationships.
The poems in this book are centred around the speaker’s relationship with her parents and grandparents. This is obviously something which is unique to the poet, and yet a lot of the poems in this collection made me feel wonderfully nostalgic, like I was basking in the sunlight. It was really visceral and had great energy. I feel like it has its own very specific aesthetic and it definitely evoked these really strong images in my mind.
I enjoyed Shelby’s first collection ‘Soft in the Middle’, but that collection focused mainly on shorter micro-poems. I was excited to see some longer poems from her, and this book definitely delivered. Some of the poems spanned several pages and it was great to see her expanding upon different themes and ideas; I felt like the longer forms really strengthened the poetry for me.
The only thing I would change about this collection is that I felt one or two of the poems could have used a slightly tighter edit. There were a few lines here and there which I felt could have been cut to improve the overall flow of some of the poems, but this is a very small thing and obviously down to individual preference.
Overall I really enjoyed Sunfish and would definitely recommend it!
November 30, 2021
4 / 5 Stars
This was my very first book by Shelby Eileen and Iloved it. This is also one of the first times, that I've seen such a detailed Content Warning in a Poetry Collection and honestly, that just makes me respect Shelby Eileen even more.
The only thing that bothered me a little was, that the poems didn't have titels or numbers, making them more of a long poem in itself, or a letter maybe, that was addressed to 4 family members directly. I'm aware that this was with intent. And it does make for a great reading experience for sure. But, I still prefer a little more structure. That could just be a me thing though.
It's a very personal, very raw collection of poems about loss, grief, neglect & love of family.
As someone who hasn't the easiest relationship with her family, I was surprised to see that I was still able to relate a lot. It'easy to let yourself be blinded by venom. It's way hardr to acknowledge all the things you can be thankfull for.
It's definitifly a beautifully written and emotional collection. Can reccomand!
This was my very first book by Shelby Eileen and Iloved it. This is also one of the first times, that I've seen such a detailed Content Warning in a Poetry Collection and honestly, that just makes me respect Shelby Eileen even more.
The only thing that bothered me a little was, that the poems didn't have titels or numbers, making them more of a long poem in itself, or a letter maybe, that was addressed to 4 family members directly. I'm aware that this was with intent. And it does make for a great reading experience for sure. But, I still prefer a little more structure. That could just be a me thing though.
It's a very personal, very raw collection of poems about loss, grief, neglect & love of family.
As someone who hasn't the easiest relationship with her family, I was surprised to see that I was still able to relate a lot. It'easy to let yourself be blinded by venom. It's way hardr to acknowledge all the things you can be thankfull for.
It's definitifly a beautifully written and emotional collection. Can reccomand!
April 18, 2019
some days I'm more mess than human
more devastation than
person
more disappointment than daughter
January 18, 2024
Touched my soul.
June 16, 2018
A complex, beautiful poetry collection brought to life by the concrete details Eileen weaves seamlessly into every piece. This is deeply personal, touched by so much of the poet's family and culture and upbringing, but there's something incredibly resonant here too. If you want poetry about families, about love and grief and how the two can mix together and be complicated, how we can feel both anger and love at the same time and so much more, then this is the collection for you.
December 27, 2018
This book simply blew me away. So beautiful and intimate and REAL. I don't really know what to say because even three days later I am still in so much awe and speechless over this book, simply gorgeous and a book I know I will reread time and time again.
October 21, 2018
Be still, my heart.
If I'm honest, I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this one quite as much as Shelby Eileen’s first collection simply because the subject matter in this one isn’t relatable to me in the way her first collection was. But! I was so pleasantly surprised.
I swear, I was teary eyed during the entire time I read this book, with exceptions for the moments when I actually cried. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the collection without dissolving into a mess of tears on the floor. It’s true that I wasn’t able to relate to this one as much, but I didn’t love it any less because of it, which is unusual for me. Poetry is something that I normally have to be able to connect to very strongly in order to enjoy it, but Shelby Eileen is just so wonderful at crafting words. Even though the majority of the poems weren't anything I could relate to, per se, they still really moved me in a way that not much poetry is able to do. That being said, there were still a number of poems that did really make me feel seen, which is the best feeling.
Overall, this was just such a moving collection and I'm so glad I got to read it. This has really solidified my undying love for Shelby Eileen's work.
If I'm honest, I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this one quite as much as Shelby Eileen’s first collection simply because the subject matter in this one isn’t relatable to me in the way her first collection was. But! I was so pleasantly surprised.
I swear, I was teary eyed during the entire time I read this book, with exceptions for the moments when I actually cried. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the collection without dissolving into a mess of tears on the floor. It’s true that I wasn’t able to relate to this one as much, but I didn’t love it any less because of it, which is unusual for me. Poetry is something that I normally have to be able to connect to very strongly in order to enjoy it, but Shelby Eileen is just so wonderful at crafting words. Even though the majority of the poems weren't anything I could relate to, per se, they still really moved me in a way that not much poetry is able to do. That being said, there were still a number of poems that did really make me feel seen, which is the best feeling.
Overall, this was just such a moving collection and I'm so glad I got to read it. This has really solidified my undying love for Shelby Eileen's work.
April 9, 2020
I think this might be one of my favorite collections from Shelby. They really were able to express the varying shades of love, longing, regret, and mourning one feels for their immediate family members. It felt so raw and relatable, and that’s what I always love most about their poetry. The emotions practically jumped off the page. If you’re looking for a poetry collection that navigates tough family relationships, this is the one for you.
December 31, 2018
Quite a heart-twisting poetry collection. Felt the letters to mom and grandma the best. CAN actually relate. The author has quite turned some of the 'black marks' of her family history into something beautiful indeed.
Favorite parts:
Favorite parts:
November 11, 2018
"I remember you
in sundresses
and sunrooms
and cigarette-smoke-filled sunlight"
Sometimes you read a book at just the right moment. Just when you were meant to. sunfish was such a book for me. My father passed away a few weeks ago and, because several of the pieces in this collection touch on the loss of family members, I ugly-cried my way through it. But in a good way; a healing way.
This is a slim volume of less than 100 pages but it'll leave you full. I tend to favor chapbooks and shorter collections, anyway, because they feel more focused/less repetitive.
Shelby has an incredible talent and is now one of my auto-buy poets.
in sundresses
and sunrooms
and cigarette-smoke-filled sunlight"
Sometimes you read a book at just the right moment. Just when you were meant to. sunfish was such a book for me. My father passed away a few weeks ago and, because several of the pieces in this collection touch on the loss of family members, I ugly-cried my way through it. But in a good way; a healing way.
This is a slim volume of less than 100 pages but it'll leave you full. I tend to favor chapbooks and shorter collections, anyway, because they feel more focused/less repetitive.
Shelby has an incredible talent and is now one of my auto-buy poets.
June 2, 2018
This collection is heart wrenching and wonderfully truthful. I dare your heart not to ache after consuming it.
October 28, 2018
tender and grand
Beautiful, tender, grand, heartfelt, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. So personal and beautiful. Wilson's work is always inspired and beloved by me.
Beautiful, tender, grand, heartfelt, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. So personal and beautiful. Wilson's work is always inspired and beloved by me.
September 10, 2020
***3.5 STARS***
December 4, 2021
So soft on my soul. ❤️
May 23, 2018
I have a full review for Sunfish on my blog: https://kimberlyreads97.wordpress.com...
I found this poetry collection much more personal than the last one Shelby released (soft in the middle) because I felt it covered so much more about her (from how she felt she wasn’t the girl she was “supposed” to be to understanding she wouldn’t really be able to see eye to eye with her mother because they’re such different people).
I related to quite a few of these poems and can’t wait to see what Shelby will release next!
I found this poetry collection much more personal than the last one Shelby released (soft in the middle) because I felt it covered so much more about her (from how she felt she wasn’t the girl she was “supposed” to be to understanding she wouldn’t really be able to see eye to eye with her mother because they’re such different people).
I related to quite a few of these poems and can’t wait to see what Shelby will release next!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 22, 2018
This collection left me with a heavy heart, but in a good way. I loved every bit of it.
May 6, 2018
I really enjoyed beta reading this new collection from Shelby. It left it's mark on me and feels original and authentic.
April 6, 2023
🐡☀️🏹 SUNFISH & GODDESS OF THE HUNT & SUNSHINE, SADNESS, AND OTHER FLORIDIAN EFFECTS by Shelby Eileen 🏹☀️🐡
Previously, I'd read Soft in the Middle by Eileen, which I liked moderately. These 3 poetry collections were all very different. I liked Sunfish a lot and it resonated strongly with me, Goddess of the Hunt I appreciated only because it shed a light on aromanticism and asexuality but other than that I didn't like it and I can't even remember what Sunshine, Sadness, and other Floridian Effects was about, but it's available for free so that it's accessible so that's really cool and I think I read it and didn't dislike it at least.
I've clearly not made up my mind about Eileen's poetry yet, I'm not sure I'd pick it up again, but it was nice to give it a try!
Previously, I'd read Soft in the Middle by Eileen, which I liked moderately. These 3 poetry collections were all very different. I liked Sunfish a lot and it resonated strongly with me, Goddess of the Hunt I appreciated only because it shed a light on aromanticism and asexuality but other than that I didn't like it and I can't even remember what Sunshine, Sadness, and other Floridian Effects was about, but it's available for free so that it's accessible so that's really cool and I think I read it and didn't dislike it at least.
I've clearly not made up my mind about Eileen's poetry yet, I'm not sure I'd pick it up again, but it was nice to give it a try!
December 26, 2018
Love is considered one of the great topics of poetry (along with sex, death and war), but most of the time, readers and writers alike tend to assume that that means romantic love. There's a lot of poetry about new relationships, marriage, heartbreak - but that's not all there is to life or art, and Shelby Eileen's brilliant chapbook sunfish examines a very different kind of relationship; the mixed blessing of family and heritage.
Eileen's work is confessional poetry at its best, moving between intimacy and distance, bitterness and nostalgia, pain and love with a gentle touch. The poetry manages to be both intensely personal and relatable for everybody with a difficult home life, working through emotions about their parents and grandparents, and bearing intergenerational trauma they had no part in. Of particular note is the poem on page 41;
mothers and daughters were not
meant to go to war against each
other
so why was I born with a battle cry
for her blood
how does she do that thing
that thing where the sound of her
voice makes me want to unhinge
self-detonate
sabotage
her
It's hard to say whether or not this is as common an experience as it feels like, but I still remember the way my teeth would rattle in my head during screaming matches with my mother as a teenager. It's one that media has stolen and turned into a trope, another thing to make fun of teenage girls for, but Eileen has taken it back and given it the weight it deserves.
Out of all the sections, the one about mothers and daughters is the one that hit me the hardest. However, the book ranges through Eileen's relationship with their father, their zaidy, their bubbie, and even the concept of family and Jewishness itself. There is a constant tension at work, pushing-pulling between Eileen's desire for freedom, their queer identity, their desire to be better than their family's mistakes; and their craving to belong, the hope that if they say the right thing, do the right thing, the hurt will heal.
prick
i need her to be smart
bleed
prick
I need her to be grateful
bleed
-page 83
The only part of sunfish I found frustrating was the lack of poetry titles. On one hand, this added to the sense of flow - the idea that each poem flowed into the next, in a stream of consciousness. On the other hand, it makes it hard to point to the parts that grabbed me and didn't let go. It worked for Emily Dickinson and it works for Shelby Eileen, but I just hope the page numbers carry over between editions!
It's also wonderful to get to review another Canadian poet; Canada's poetry scene is one of my favourite circles, and this is one of my favourites I've read from it in a while.
Eileen's work is confessional poetry at its best, moving between intimacy and distance, bitterness and nostalgia, pain and love with a gentle touch. The poetry manages to be both intensely personal and relatable for everybody with a difficult home life, working through emotions about their parents and grandparents, and bearing intergenerational trauma they had no part in. Of particular note is the poem on page 41;
mothers and daughters were not
meant to go to war against each
other
so why was I born with a battle cry
for her blood
how does she do that thing
that thing where the sound of her
voice makes me want to unhinge
self-detonate
sabotage
her
It's hard to say whether or not this is as common an experience as it feels like, but I still remember the way my teeth would rattle in my head during screaming matches with my mother as a teenager. It's one that media has stolen and turned into a trope, another thing to make fun of teenage girls for, but Eileen has taken it back and given it the weight it deserves.
Out of all the sections, the one about mothers and daughters is the one that hit me the hardest. However, the book ranges through Eileen's relationship with their father, their zaidy, their bubbie, and even the concept of family and Jewishness itself. There is a constant tension at work, pushing-pulling between Eileen's desire for freedom, their queer identity, their desire to be better than their family's mistakes; and their craving to belong, the hope that if they say the right thing, do the right thing, the hurt will heal.
prick
i need her to be smart
bleed
prick
I need her to be grateful
bleed
-page 83
The only part of sunfish I found frustrating was the lack of poetry titles. On one hand, this added to the sense of flow - the idea that each poem flowed into the next, in a stream of consciousness. On the other hand, it makes it hard to point to the parts that grabbed me and didn't let go. It worked for Emily Dickinson and it works for Shelby Eileen, but I just hope the page numbers carry over between editions!
It's also wonderful to get to review another Canadian poet; Canada's poetry scene is one of my favourite circles, and this is one of my favourites I've read from it in a while.
Read
August 20, 2023"I am going to lay down my worry and my letters and try to remember that not all the weight I carry around is necessary"
*This review was written in 2020*
•
I've started reading this collection of poetry last year, I think, and throughout the first few weeks of quarantine, I tried to get back to it, but always I had to close the book, put it down and eventually forgot about it. LOL. That's not a bad thing, quite the opposite. Shelby Eileen's words always have that special effect on me and my emotions and heh, when I'd been feeling a little too on emotional bec of ~everything, it was always best to steer clear of beautiful poetry a little bit.
But in September, when the isolation wasn't as pointed for me as it had been, I finally finished it. :) Sure, I still felt all the raw beauty of pain and happiness, and confusion brought in the verses, and yes I cried, but it was sweet release. And I'm happy that overall, and towards the end, it's not a downer. It's sad on a lot of parts, yes, but that's how it is sometimes and I welcomed it.
A lot of the untitled pieces were about the complexity of familial relationships instead of the romantic and self-love themes I'm used to reading from Shelby Eileen, but it's still as beautiful, as poignant, and as hard-hitting. Not all of the pieces have resonated with me, I found some that felt redundant when read in succession, but that's probably just my moods.
I still highly recommend this, although, if you're new to Eileen's writing-style, maybe try soft in the middle first, or even the more recently released poems I sleep next to, and then come back for this.
•
"I will never stop being grateful even if the grateful words are the hardest to say out loud"'
*This review was written in 2020*
•
I've started reading this collection of poetry last year, I think, and throughout the first few weeks of quarantine, I tried to get back to it, but always I had to close the book, put it down and eventually forgot about it. LOL. That's not a bad thing, quite the opposite. Shelby Eileen's words always have that special effect on me and my emotions and heh, when I'd been feeling a little too on emotional bec of ~everything, it was always best to steer clear of beautiful poetry a little bit.
But in September, when the isolation wasn't as pointed for me as it had been, I finally finished it. :) Sure, I still felt all the raw beauty of pain and happiness, and confusion brought in the verses, and yes I cried, but it was sweet release. And I'm happy that overall, and towards the end, it's not a downer. It's sad on a lot of parts, yes, but that's how it is sometimes and I welcomed it.
A lot of the untitled pieces were about the complexity of familial relationships instead of the romantic and self-love themes I'm used to reading from Shelby Eileen, but it's still as beautiful, as poignant, and as hard-hitting. Not all of the pieces have resonated with me, I found some that felt redundant when read in succession, but that's probably just my moods.
I still highly recommend this, although, if you're new to Eileen's writing-style, maybe try soft in the middle first, or even the more recently released poems I sleep next to, and then come back for this.
•
"I will never stop being grateful even if the grateful words are the hardest to say out loud"'
June 27, 2018
This book is so thoughtful and intimate. There's a rawness to it that struck me - I felt, in part, like I was reading words meant for another person. Like, somehow, I was intruding on somebody else's letter. But that kind of honesty is so pure. That kind of honesty, and openness, and realness resonates. This book paints a sometimes beautiful, sometimes difficult, sometimes heartbreaking picture of Shelby's family. I feel like I've come to know them through her words, and I feel so grateful to have been introduced. This is a really special little book.
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