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Rocky Mountain Refuge
Can the wild man in the mountains be tamed?
Huxley is in hiding, but from who? Why? His worst enemy is his own mind, and it has driven him to a secluded cabin in the mountains. Trust is a fickle thing. For Huxley, everything and everyone is a threat, including the nosy biologist who has threatened his peace and quiet.
While closing up the final year of his grizzly bear research project, Aspen encounters a man who is as wild as the beasts he studies. An underlying sense of familiarity draws him in, and an insatiable attraction binds them together.
Can Aspen tame the mountain man and discover what makes him tick?
More importantly, can he unravel the mystery of Huxley’s distrust and convince him to go home?
Huxley is in hiding, but from who? Why? His worst enemy is his own mind, and it has driven him to a secluded cabin in the mountains. Trust is a fickle thing. For Huxley, everything and everyone is a threat, including the nosy biologist who has threatened his peace and quiet.
While closing up the final year of his grizzly bear research project, Aspen encounters a man who is as wild as the beasts he studies. An underlying sense of familiarity draws him in, and an insatiable attraction binds them together.
Can Aspen tame the mountain man and discover what makes him tick?
More importantly, can he unravel the mystery of Huxley’s distrust and convince him to go home?
307 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 4, 2018
93 people are currently reading
944 people want to read
About the author
Nicky James
75 books2,238 followersI live in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada and I am a mother to a wonderful teenage boy (didn't think those words could be typed together...surprise) and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband, who thankfully doesn't think I'm crazy.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 225 reviews
April 13, 2018
This story will gut you. It doesn't skirt around the issues of mental illness and loving someone who's mentally ill (yet so much more than their illness).
Huxley suffers from paranoid personality disorder (PPD), and it affects him exactly the way it sounds: He's suspicious of everyone; thinks everyone is out to get him; worries incessantly about imaginary threats and risks; and sees danger where none exists.
Huxley disappeared into the wilderness five years prior following his husband's brutal murder, and the longer he's been away from therapy, medication, and the calming influence of his husband (now deceased) and mom, the more restless and hostile he's become. When Huxley spots Aspen at the grocery store, he's convinced Aspen has come to hunt him down.
But Aspen is no spy. He doesn't work for "them." He's a wildlife biologist, close to turning 40, working on a grizzly research project. Aspen is drawn to Huxley, and when in a moment of epiphany he recognizes Huxley's face, he can't stop worrying. . . or caring.
This book is told from both men's POV, and this was done brilliantly. I never had any doubt as to who was narrating. I barely glanced at the names introducing each chapter.
Huxley's mind is an exhausting place to be. His brain never shuts down and always stays on high alert. Everything screams DANGER! ATTACK! ESCAPE! I found myself becoming paranoid about the motives of the secondary characters.
Aspen's team of student researchers was well-sketched, especially Chris who flirted constantly, and Tiger, who talked way too much. I kept thinking someone was going to turn on Huxley. Did they have an ulterior motive? Spend a few pages with Huxley, and you'll question everything too.
This is a relationship-focused story, but it is one intense ride. I couldn't put this book down, and even though it's long, it didn't FEEL long.
There is nothing easy about being in a relationship with Huxley. He perceives slights where none are intended, is quick to anger, and accuses Aspen of cheating on him based on no evidence whatsoever.
Even as I was frustrated with Aspen for not being supportive or understanding enough, I was aware of my own hypocrisy, as I'm not a patient person and no way could I have put up with Huxley's behavior.
And yet I ADORED Huxley. He really was much more than his illness. He could be so sweet and loving, and was an absolute god in bed (and anywhere else lust struck).
This would be a good time to mention that this is an incredibly sexy book. *fans self* Huxley loves to be in control, and Aspen discovers that he likes a little pain (and more than a little bossiness). The sex is raw and real, and the men's connection feels explosive and true.
Huxley learns to trust Aspen completely, and Aspen realizes that for the relationship to work, he needs to manage his reactions to Huxley's illness as much as Huxley must be willing to check facts first, which is enormously difficult for someone with PPD.
Huxley doesn't believe he's paranoid; he thinks his mind is more attuned to threats and danger and that he's more observant than most people.
Think about it: How do you convince a person with PPD that he's paranoid without making him more paranoid?
Even though the HEA doesn't come easily, with angst and tears along the path to happiness, it does come. I loved the ending; most people would shun the life Aspen and Huxley chose, but it was their salvation.
Huxley suffers from paranoid personality disorder (PPD), and it affects him exactly the way it sounds: He's suspicious of everyone; thinks everyone is out to get him; worries incessantly about imaginary threats and risks; and sees danger where none exists.
Huxley disappeared into the wilderness five years prior following his husband's brutal murder, and the longer he's been away from therapy, medication, and the calming influence of his husband (now deceased) and mom, the more restless and hostile he's become. When Huxley spots Aspen at the grocery store, he's convinced Aspen has come to hunt him down.
But Aspen is no spy. He doesn't work for "them." He's a wildlife biologist, close to turning 40, working on a grizzly research project. Aspen is drawn to Huxley, and when in a moment of epiphany he recognizes Huxley's face, he can't stop worrying. . . or caring.
This book is told from both men's POV, and this was done brilliantly. I never had any doubt as to who was narrating. I barely glanced at the names introducing each chapter.
Huxley's mind is an exhausting place to be. His brain never shuts down and always stays on high alert. Everything screams DANGER! ATTACK! ESCAPE! I found myself becoming paranoid about the motives of the secondary characters.
Aspen's team of student researchers was well-sketched, especially Chris who flirted constantly, and Tiger, who talked way too much. I kept thinking someone was going to turn on Huxley. Did they have an ulterior motive? Spend a few pages with Huxley, and you'll question everything too.
This is a relationship-focused story, but it is one intense ride. I couldn't put this book down, and even though it's long, it didn't FEEL long.
There is nothing easy about being in a relationship with Huxley. He perceives slights where none are intended, is quick to anger, and accuses Aspen of cheating on him based on no evidence whatsoever.
Even as I was frustrated with Aspen for not being supportive or understanding enough, I was aware of my own hypocrisy, as I'm not a patient person and no way could I have put up with Huxley's behavior.
And yet I ADORED Huxley. He really was much more than his illness. He could be so sweet and loving, and was an absolute god in bed (and anywhere else lust struck).
This would be a good time to mention that this is an incredibly sexy book. *fans self* Huxley loves to be in control, and Aspen discovers that he likes a little pain (and more than a little bossiness). The sex is raw and real, and the men's connection feels explosive and true.
Huxley learns to trust Aspen completely, and Aspen realizes that for the relationship to work, he needs to manage his reactions to Huxley's illness as much as Huxley must be willing to check facts first, which is enormously difficult for someone with PPD.
Huxley doesn't believe he's paranoid; he thinks his mind is more attuned to threats and danger and that he's more observant than most people.
Think about it: How do you convince a person with PPD that he's paranoid without making him more paranoid?
Even though the HEA doesn't come easily, with angst and tears along the path to happiness, it does come. I loved the ending; most people would shun the life Aspen and Huxley chose, but it was their salvation.
September 12, 2025
Second reading 09/2025
Yep, still as wonderful as the first time.
First reading 06/2022
Exhaustive. I feel like this story has sucked all my emotions out of me. It was a battle to get through this and not give up. But it was so worth it. The ending rewards you for the internal struggles this has caused. It made me cry and I was so grateful for it.
Trying to get my thoughts in order ...👀
Huxley's world of thoughts is so insanely exhausting that more than once I was tempted to want to shake him until all the negative crazy stuff fell out of him and he was finally normal. But how do you define "normal"? I had a hard time accepting his "tics" at first, but in the end his mental disorder makes him who he is. And this is a wonderful personality that you just have to love.
Aspen also struggles to keep up with Huxley. But the incredible attraction between these two is so fiercely intense that this is enough to move the relationship forward and slowly, very slowly, build trust for Huxley.
So, the sex is incredibly hot. Gorgeous how Huxley dominates Aspen, but only because Aspen lets him, 🤭 .... and the surprise of Huxley when the roles are reversed all at once, more 🤭🤭🤭.
Still, this story is based on Huxley's disorder and it occupies the entire book, so it's not a light read and you should be prepared for some heavy scenes.
Mental health isn’t a joke. It’s really fucking real, and if people spent more time trying to understand it than shunning those who suffer, then maybe people like my brother wouldn’t have felt so trapped and alone in this world.
Yep, still as wonderful as the first time.
First reading 06/2022
Exhaustive. I feel like this story has sucked all my emotions out of me. It was a battle to get through this and not give up. But it was so worth it. The ending rewards you for the internal struggles this has caused. It made me cry and I was so grateful for it.
Trying to get my thoughts in order ...👀
Huxley's world of thoughts is so insanely exhausting that more than once I was tempted to want to shake him until all the negative crazy stuff fell out of him and he was finally normal. But how do you define "normal"? I had a hard time accepting his "tics" at first, but in the end his mental disorder makes him who he is. And this is a wonderful personality that you just have to love.
Aspen also struggles to keep up with Huxley. But the incredible attraction between these two is so fiercely intense that this is enough to move the relationship forward and slowly, very slowly, build trust for Huxley.
So, the sex is incredibly hot. Gorgeous how Huxley dominates Aspen, but only because Aspen lets him, 🤭 .... and the surprise of Huxley when the roles are reversed all at once, more 🤭🤭🤭.
Still, this story is based on Huxley's disorder and it occupies the entire book, so it's not a light read and you should be prepared for some heavy scenes.
Mental health isn’t a joke. It’s really fucking real, and if people spent more time trying to understand it than shunning those who suffer, then maybe people like my brother wouldn’t have felt so trapped and alone in this world.
January 22, 2021
4.5 stars
This heartbreaking mental disorder story hit pretty close to home. I have people close to me with mental illnesses, including family members with schizophrenia, which presents with paranoia. My brother was bipolar and insisted after his first suicide attempt that therapists couldn’t help him, because he was too smart and they didn’t understand him. So I’ve heard a lot of those thoughts first hand. My point is, this book really spoke to me. It hurt.
Huxley made me empathize in ways I was never able to IRL. My heart broke for him again and again. It must be incredibly isolating to feel like nobody understands you and everyone is out to get you. As usual, Nicky James portrays mental disorders in a very realistic and accurate way. She makes you feel for the character, and understand his mind.
The romance is backstage and slow here. The sex is incredible and happens fast, but for most of the book, they are just fucking and becoming friends. The sex is incredibly hot, intense, passionate. The relationship is slow and tentative. It’s a long journey onto a better future. I liked how Huxley wasn’t “cured” at the end, he just had to keep working on getting better. Mental health is a never ending battle. It’s never easy. But with the right support system, and the right care, you can be happy. And that’s a very important message.
I feel like my review probably doesn’t make much sense to anyone else. Just read the book. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful.
This heartbreaking mental disorder story hit pretty close to home. I have people close to me with mental illnesses, including family members with schizophrenia, which presents with paranoia. My brother was bipolar and insisted after his first suicide attempt that therapists couldn’t help him, because he was too smart and they didn’t understand him. So I’ve heard a lot of those thoughts first hand. My point is, this book really spoke to me. It hurt.
Huxley made me empathize in ways I was never able to IRL. My heart broke for him again and again. It must be incredibly isolating to feel like nobody understands you and everyone is out to get you. As usual, Nicky James portrays mental disorders in a very realistic and accurate way. She makes you feel for the character, and understand his mind.
The romance is backstage and slow here. The sex is incredible and happens fast, but for most of the book, they are just fucking and becoming friends. The sex is incredibly hot, intense, passionate. The relationship is slow and tentative. It’s a long journey onto a better future. I liked how Huxley wasn’t “cured” at the end, he just had to keep working on getting better. Mental health is a never ending battle. It’s never easy. But with the right support system, and the right care, you can be happy. And that’s a very important message.
I feel like my review probably doesn’t make much sense to anyone else. Just read the book. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful.
April 25, 2018
**4.5 stars**
Saying that I was engrossed in this book is an understatement.
This story is focused on the building of the relationship between Aspen and Huxley.
**Ariana, I couldn't help "stealing" your pics : they were with me the whole time I read this**
Aspen is a wildlife biologist who enjoys the quiet outdoors. While wandering in the Canadian woods during one of his projects, he stumbles on Huxley, high on fever, and helps him to get back to his cabin.
Huxley became a recluse after the murder of his husband, afraid “they” will come after him, this fear nursed by a paranoid personality disorder. But he had no choice letting Aspen into his life.
Starts a slow dance, Aspen balancing between understanding and frustration and Huxley torn between his colored reality and the realization he needs to reach out.
The ride is not easy and I could feel the exhaustion, the struggles, the uncertainties, but also the determination from both MCs. My only niggle was that I couldn’t feel the chemistry between Aspen and Huxley : despite some very hot moments, it looked more like a friendship for me.
It didn’t stop me, though, to be completely immersed in this story and hugely moved by Huxley and Aspen. Recommended !
**Note for Vir : Querida vir, muchas gracias por este regalo: una historia conmovedora que no olvidaré <3**
Saying that I was engrossed in this book is an understatement.
This story is focused on the building of the relationship between Aspen and Huxley.
**Ariana, I couldn't help "stealing" your pics : they were with me the whole time I read this**
Aspen is a wildlife biologist who enjoys the quiet outdoors. While wandering in the Canadian woods during one of his projects, he stumbles on Huxley, high on fever, and helps him to get back to his cabin.
Huxley became a recluse after the murder of his husband, afraid “they” will come after him, this fear nursed by a paranoid personality disorder. But he had no choice letting Aspen into his life.
Starts a slow dance, Aspen balancing between understanding and frustration and Huxley torn between his colored reality and the realization he needs to reach out.
The ride is not easy and I could feel the exhaustion, the struggles, the uncertainties, but also the determination from both MCs. My only niggle was that I couldn’t feel the chemistry between Aspen and Huxley : despite some very hot moments, it looked more like a friendship for me.
It didn’t stop me, though, to be completely immersed in this story and hugely moved by Huxley and Aspen. Recommended !
**Note for Vir : Querida vir, muchas gracias por este regalo: una historia conmovedora que no olvidaré <3**
April 16, 2018
* 5 stars +++*
This went straight on my 'best of the best' shelf.
I've had a lucky streak of really good books recently, but this ... totally blew me away.
Can I express how much I LOVED this?
First there are the MCs:
Huxley: Wow.
What a brilliant character. Huxley lives in a slightly different world from us - because he has paranoid personality disorder. This means that he trusts NOBODY, that he sees intrigue and people out 'to get him' in every corner, that he accuses people he loves of things that are not real.
Being in his mind was exhausting, to put it mildly. Going through the anguish and fear and worry he is dealing with all the time made ME feel anxious. The author must have done a hell of lot of research to describe the inner workings of Huxley's mind. What she has done here is brilliant and completely engrossing.
Aspen: the most patient, most tolerant, most sensitive guy ever!! And all that whilst staying totally real and human, being allowed to act 'normally'.
I admit happily I could not have done what he manages to do. Huxley is EXHAUSTING. or to say it better, his mind is exhausting. And Aspen gets very FRUSTRATED at times, which is not exactly surprising. The thing is - the connection between these guys is sizzling. At the bottom of their heart they have a lot in common, but still - how do you live with a person who sees and assumes conspiracy all the time?
The journey how they find their way to be together is one of the most awesome, realistic and beautiful stories I've read.
Nicky James deals with every aspect of their relationship in such a real way, it was book heaven in paradise. Darn.
And it is really really hot. Just saying -these are outdoors guys, both of them. Huxley just gave me the shivers he is so intense, and Aspen is simply swoon-worthy.
Have I gushed enough?
Highly recommended.
P.S. Please read it. (It is on ku! But I might have to buy it because I think I have to own this one)
This went straight on my 'best of the best' shelf.
I've had a lucky streak of really good books recently, but this ... totally blew me away.
Can I express how much I LOVED this?
First there are the MCs:
Huxley: Wow.
What a brilliant character. Huxley lives in a slightly different world from us - because he has paranoid personality disorder. This means that he trusts NOBODY, that he sees intrigue and people out 'to get him' in every corner, that he accuses people he loves of things that are not real.
Being in his mind was exhausting, to put it mildly. Going through the anguish and fear and worry he is dealing with all the time made ME feel anxious. The author must have done a hell of lot of research to describe the inner workings of Huxley's mind. What she has done here is brilliant and completely engrossing.
Aspen: the most patient, most tolerant, most sensitive guy ever!! And all that whilst staying totally real and human, being allowed to act 'normally'.
I admit happily I could not have done what he manages to do. Huxley is EXHAUSTING. or to say it better, his mind is exhausting. And Aspen gets very FRUSTRATED at times, which is not exactly surprising. The thing is - the connection between these guys is sizzling. At the bottom of their heart they have a lot in common, but still - how do you live with a person who sees and assumes conspiracy all the time?
The journey how they find their way to be together is one of the most awesome, realistic and beautiful stories I've read.
Nicky James deals with every aspect of their relationship in such a real way, it was book heaven in paradise. Darn.
And it is really really hot. Just saying -these are outdoors guys, both of them. Huxley just gave me the shivers he is so intense, and Aspen is simply swoon-worthy.
Have I gushed enough?
Highly recommended.
P.S. Please read it. (It is on ku! But I might have to buy it because I think I have to own this one)
August 28, 2023
4,5 stars rounded up because it’s Nicky James. Another extraordinary book with mental health as an important subject and again, she made it feel real.
April 23, 2018
4-4.25 stars.
Rocky Mountain Refuge wasn't the easiest read but it was super different and that is exactly what I need every once in a while. Sometimes, I read a book that opens my eyes to the struggle of what people go through with illnesses and this book is one of them.
This was heartbreaking but amazing. It deals with an MC who has paranoid personality disorder and it took me into a journey of what it feels like to live with that. And how it affects the people you love most.
I'm glad Huxley got his happy ending with Aspen. They both completely deserved it.
Rocky Mountain Refuge wasn't the easiest read but it was super different and that is exactly what I need every once in a while. Sometimes, I read a book that opens my eyes to the struggle of what people go through with illnesses and this book is one of them.
This was heartbreaking but amazing. It deals with an MC who has paranoid personality disorder and it took me into a journey of what it feels like to live with that. And how it affects the people you love most.
I'm glad Huxley got his happy ending with Aspen. They both completely deserved it.
Not everything in life is easy, you know. It’s the people who risk facing the hard stuff and the scary stuff every day who come out stronger in the end.
May 8, 2021
This was an exhausting read. I would not read it again.
However, it was well written, believable and real. With two strong men -- REAL men, not the way a lot of MMs are written by female authors who make men talk and think like women. I LOVE REAL men.
Mental health issues are real. The way Huxley was depicted was very believable. And sooooo exhausting! But you can't help but love him.
I liked Aspen too, but I love Hux more. At one point, when Aspen shut Hux off bc of one of his paranoia delusions, my heart hurt for Hux. It wasn't his fault. This is his condition. He doesn't know better. And Aspen hurt him and he doesn't understand why. It's like kicking a puppy or hitting a child.
From Aspen's POV, you can totally understand it. A grown man being accused of untrue things based on nothing. The way Aspen was portrayed is real too, and you have to respect him for setting boundaries. He's not perfect either. He's not a saint, doesn't have the patience that Hux's dead husband had. Why would any normal person ask for this much drama and work?
But somehow, they made it work together, meeting each other half way. Push and pull. It was all really well done.
But I wouldn't read it again. So 4.5 rounded to 5. It was just too exhausting.
Nice, hot, intense sex tho 🤤😍
However, it was well written, believable and real. With two strong men -- REAL men, not the way a lot of MMs are written by female authors who make men talk and think like women. I LOVE REAL men.
Mental health issues are real. The way Huxley was depicted was very believable. And sooooo exhausting! But you can't help but love him.
I liked Aspen too, but I love Hux more. At one point, when Aspen shut Hux off bc of one of his paranoia delusions, my heart hurt for Hux. It wasn't his fault. This is his condition. He doesn't know better. And Aspen hurt him and he doesn't understand why. It's like kicking a puppy or hitting a child.
From Aspen's POV, you can totally understand it. A grown man being accused of untrue things based on nothing. The way Aspen was portrayed is real too, and you have to respect him for setting boundaries. He's not perfect either. He's not a saint, doesn't have the patience that Hux's dead husband had. Why would any normal person ask for this much drama and work?
But somehow, they made it work together, meeting each other half way. Push and pull. It was all really well done.
But I wouldn't read it again. So 4.5 rounded to 5. It was just too exhausting.
Nice, hot, intense sex tho 🤤😍
October 15, 2021
✽ 5 STARS ✽
This was my favourite book by Nicky James so far. For sure I will add more of her books on my TBR because she always amaze me so much with her stories!
I just loved this book, I loved Aspen and Huxley, they were great together. I loved the sense of reality of the story: Huxley mental issues seemed so real with his struggles, it's impact on their relationship was real, not potrayed only as sweet romantic HEA. I adored the surroundings – remote cabin in canadian mountains with bears and other wildlife.
This was my favourite book by Nicky James so far. For sure I will add more of her books on my TBR because she always amaze me so much with her stories!
I just loved this book, I loved Aspen and Huxley, they were great together. I loved the sense of reality of the story: Huxley mental issues seemed so real with his struggles, it's impact on their relationship was real, not potrayed only as sweet romantic HEA. I adored the surroundings – remote cabin in canadian mountains with bears and other wildlife.
July 1, 2018
2.5 stars
I’m obviously in a super-minority with this review but the book frustrated me. It had all the makings of what should have been a story that checks so many of my boxes, but I found it difficult to stay engaged.
It started off well for me, but then dragged in the middle a bit. Huxley was a fascinating character and I really wanted to see how he would deal with things towards the end, so I forged on, but I found myself disliking Aspen more and more as I went on and a lot of things at the end felt sacrificed to time jumps with telling and not showing. There were also quite a bit of misused and misspelled words that became distracting after a while.
I liked Huxley and I sympathized with his situation. He has managed to carve out an existence for himself. Aspen was another story. He started out okay for me, but I soon found myself disliking him. Aspen meets Huxley and when he realizes who Huxley is, decides he’s going to save Huxley, whether he wants it or not. Aspen seems to be understanding of Huxley’s condition and seems to want to help. The two manage to carve out a sort of friendship with benefits for the time Aspen is going to be around, but Aspen is slowly setting the stage to try to get Huxley to agree to return home. Meanwhile, Huxley is slowly starting to trust that Aspen isn’t out to get him. This all goes to pot when Aspen does an about-face at a crucial time for Huxley. That didn’t sit well with me at all. Aspen continues to act childishly and at times cruelly; while I get that it’s no picnic dealing with Huxley’s illness, Aspen jerked him around quite a bit IMO and even when he atones for it, I didn’t quite ever warm up to him.
Again, I know I’m in the minority here, but I didn’t connect with the relationship between the men. I did appreciate that the author did not back down from Huxley’s condition and didn’t miraculously cure him. With so many highly rated books, I’ll give the author another try, this was just a miss for me personally.
I’m obviously in a super-minority with this review but the book frustrated me. It had all the makings of what should have been a story that checks so many of my boxes, but I found it difficult to stay engaged.
It started off well for me, but then dragged in the middle a bit. Huxley was a fascinating character and I really wanted to see how he would deal with things towards the end, so I forged on, but I found myself disliking Aspen more and more as I went on and a lot of things at the end felt sacrificed to time jumps with telling and not showing. There were also quite a bit of misused and misspelled words that became distracting after a while.
I liked Huxley and I sympathized with his situation. He has managed to carve out an existence for himself. Aspen was another story. He started out okay for me, but I soon found myself disliking him. Aspen meets Huxley and when he realizes who Huxley is, decides he’s going to save Huxley, whether he wants it or not. Aspen seems to be understanding of Huxley’s condition and seems to want to help. The two manage to carve out a sort of friendship with benefits for the time Aspen is going to be around, but Aspen is slowly setting the stage to try to get Huxley to agree to return home. Meanwhile, Huxley is slowly starting to trust that Aspen isn’t out to get him. This all goes to pot when Aspen does an about-face at a crucial time for Huxley. That didn’t sit well with me at all. Aspen continues to act childishly and at times cruelly; while I get that it’s no picnic dealing with Huxley’s illness, Aspen jerked him around quite a bit IMO and even when he atones for it, I didn’t quite ever warm up to him.
Again, I know I’m in the minority here, but I didn’t connect with the relationship between the men. I did appreciate that the author did not back down from Huxley’s condition and didn’t miraculously cure him. With so many highly rated books, I’ll give the author another try, this was just a miss for me personally.
January 19, 2023
Wow this book was so good, but also such an emotional read. I really loved the way this author depicted mental illness. I've read some books where it seems like the plot is "they fell in love so now all their mental health problems are magically solved" and I'm so glad this was such an honest and realistic depiction of mental illness, which cannot be magically fixed by falling in love. Also an honest and realistic portrayal of what it is like being the partner of someone with a mental illness.
The first couple of chapters from Huxley's POV were hard to get through but wow the ending and especially the epilogue were so beautiful. I really loved every single page of this book.
The first couple of chapters from Huxley's POV were hard to get through but wow the ending and especially the epilogue were so beautiful. I really loved every single page of this book.
January 28, 2019
Content warning:
I’m conflicted about this book.
On one hand, I really liked a lot of things about it. On the other hand, something was missing and I’m not sure to what extent that’s my responsibility.
For personal reasons (), I lost my focus on Aspen and Huxley’s romance and I had to work hard to regain it and that’s not the book’s fault, just the way my brain works, I got sidetracked thinking about another story and my enjoyment of this one suffered because of it. Also, maybe I picked this book at the wrong time, maybe I needed something different.
Apart from that, I think the writing didn’t completely work for me.
I loved the setting and the characters were very real. A few convenient coincidences aside, even the story felt real. Mental illness is tough to depict realistically in a romance without making for a depressing story and I appreciated how the author managed it.
Aspen and Huxley got together slowly and it couldn’t have been any other way given Huxley’s condition. They also had setback after setback and, again, that was the only way I could ever believe in their relationship. Aspen was great, but I wouldn’t have bought his character if he hadn’t had any doubt about embarking in such a difficult situation, and Huxley’s disorder was working against him and his relationship with Aspen the whole time.
Another thing I loved was how they put in the hard work needed to keep their relationship alive, no magic solution and definitive HEA. Maybe every happy ending is a work in progress, but that's even more true when you have to navigate mental illness on top of all the other problems every relationship have.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what should have been different, what was missing to bring this book to the 5-stars level, when on paper it had everything I like.
Perhaps, given the harsh reality of Huxley’s disorder and the strain it put on their budding romance, I needed more sweet moments for him and Aspen together. I loved the glimpses of Nathaniel (Huxley’s late husband) and the way he interacted with Huxley and maybe I needed more of that, but with Aspen.
I’ll just chalk it up to me not ‘clicking’ with the characters and the writing as much as I wished.
I’m conflicted about this book.
On one hand, I really liked a lot of things about it. On the other hand, something was missing and I’m not sure to what extent that’s my responsibility.
For personal reasons (), I lost my focus on Aspen and Huxley’s romance and I had to work hard to regain it and that’s not the book’s fault, just the way my brain works, I got sidetracked thinking about another story and my enjoyment of this one suffered because of it. Also, maybe I picked this book at the wrong time, maybe I needed something different.
Apart from that, I think the writing didn’t completely work for me.
I loved the setting and the characters were very real. A few convenient coincidences aside, even the story felt real. Mental illness is tough to depict realistically in a romance without making for a depressing story and I appreciated how the author managed it.
Aspen and Huxley got together slowly and it couldn’t have been any other way given Huxley’s condition. They also had setback after setback and, again, that was the only way I could ever believe in their relationship. Aspen was great, but I wouldn’t have bought his character if he hadn’t had any doubt about embarking in such a difficult situation, and Huxley’s disorder was working against him and his relationship with Aspen the whole time.
Another thing I loved was how they put in the hard work needed to keep their relationship alive, no magic solution and definitive HEA. Maybe every happy ending is a work in progress, but that's even more true when you have to navigate mental illness on top of all the other problems every relationship have.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what should have been different, what was missing to bring this book to the 5-stars level, when on paper it had everything I like.
Perhaps, given the harsh reality of Huxley’s disorder and the strain it put on their budding romance, I needed more sweet moments for him and Aspen together. I loved the glimpses of Nathaniel (Huxley’s late husband) and the way he interacted with Huxley and maybe I needed more of that, but with Aspen.
I’ll just chalk it up to me not ‘clicking’ with the characters and the writing as much as I wished.
January 20, 2023
I loved this engaging, intense story which depicted mental illness in such an accurate way. I loved getting into Huxley’s head - it was intense! I thought it was so interesting that he doesn’t believe he has a paranoia disorder and resists his diagnosis, support and therapy. This made for a compelling read, I really enjoyed how real Aspen was. How frustrated he would get with Huxley’s behaviour and that he wasn’t some super patient saint of a guy. Most importantly was the message that love and a nice penis doesn’t cure mental illness. It was refreshing to see the role of therapy and medication here. Highly recommend.
February 23, 2023
3.5 ⭐️
”Our hearts belonged in the wilderness. And they belonged together.”
This was definitely better than what I read these couple days. It was intense, gloomy and entertaining. I felt for Huxley, I can’t imagine living in a deep fear-hole you could get yourself hurt like that. I adore their dynamic. This was nice for my current mood.
Imo, the sex was overshadowing the way the reconnect. They had arguments and angsty fights, and I couldn’t get the grip on the apologies and trusts they started to build when it was all blinded by sex everytime. There were moments where I absolutely adore them, but it was only some.
The backstory of the attack was so heartbreaking to me. It was even sadder when this is still happening in real life. I just cried of a similar tragic crime this last 12th Feb in London. Hate crime is disgusting and I hate that it happen to characters in my fiction too.
It was a nice hurt/comfort NJ-written. I just had better books by her :)
”Our hearts belonged in the wilderness. And they belonged together.”
This was definitely better than what I read these couple days. It was intense, gloomy and entertaining. I felt for Huxley, I can’t imagine living in a deep fear-hole you could get yourself hurt like that. I adore their dynamic. This was nice for my current mood.
Imo, the sex was overshadowing the way the reconnect. They had arguments and angsty fights, and I couldn’t get the grip on the apologies and trusts they started to build when it was all blinded by sex everytime. There were moments where I absolutely adore them, but it was only some.
The backstory of the attack was so heartbreaking to me. It was even sadder when this is still happening in real life. I just cried of a similar tragic crime this last 12th Feb in London. Hate crime is disgusting and I hate that it happen to characters in my fiction too.
It was a nice hurt/comfort NJ-written. I just had better books by her :)
May 7, 2019
Rocky Mountain Refuge by Nicky James is an intense and emotional journey through the complex and unpredictable mind of a character suffering from intense anxiety and paranoia.
Huxley Dempsy runs away from the city after the tragic death of his husband and finds refuge in an abandoned cabin in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Living in fear of being found by his 'enemies', he conducts a solitary existence on the limits of survival.
Aspen Taylor is a wildlife biologist who's conducting a research project on grizzly bears in the same area when he unexpectedly gets to know Huxley.
The encounter and tentative friendship between Aspen and Huxley are marred by the latter's tendency to distrust and misinterpret people and situations and, despite growing steadily, their relationship is never depicted in easy or smooth terms by the author.
Huxley's mind constantly bends kind gestures, simple utterances and honest smiles into life-threatening situations. His reactive attitude frequently turns to aggression and preventive defence and Aspen is often caught in the middle of confusing tirades, hostile behaviours and unfounded accusations.
The fact that attraction, chemistry and then love don't smooth things out for the MCs is a commendable trait in the novel and I've appreciated how Nicky James portrayed her two characters as human and flawed. Huxley is unwell and in need of urgent help - although he refuses to admit it - and Aspen is not always the willing knight in shining armour who will magically heal Huxley with the power and steadfastness of his love.
The rugged and beautiful Rocky mountains provide the majestic backdrop for much of their story. From the hot, beautiful summers to the wonderfully raw winters, nature and its silences seem to give respite and calm to Huxley's overactive mind and Aspen's doubtful and cautious approach.
And in a way, it will be their love of nature and the outdoors to help them build and cross some fundamental bridges in their relationship.
I've really enjoyed this novel. It was moving, raw and quietly powerful and I'm very curious to read more by this author.
Huxley Dempsy runs away from the city after the tragic death of his husband and finds refuge in an abandoned cabin in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Living in fear of being found by his 'enemies', he conducts a solitary existence on the limits of survival.
Aspen Taylor is a wildlife biologist who's conducting a research project on grizzly bears in the same area when he unexpectedly gets to know Huxley.
The encounter and tentative friendship between Aspen and Huxley are marred by the latter's tendency to distrust and misinterpret people and situations and, despite growing steadily, their relationship is never depicted in easy or smooth terms by the author.
Huxley's mind constantly bends kind gestures, simple utterances and honest smiles into life-threatening situations. His reactive attitude frequently turns to aggression and preventive defence and Aspen is often caught in the middle of confusing tirades, hostile behaviours and unfounded accusations.
The fact that attraction, chemistry and then love don't smooth things out for the MCs is a commendable trait in the novel and I've appreciated how Nicky James portrayed her two characters as human and flawed. Huxley is unwell and in need of urgent help - although he refuses to admit it - and Aspen is not always the willing knight in shining armour who will magically heal Huxley with the power and steadfastness of his love.
The rugged and beautiful Rocky mountains provide the majestic backdrop for much of their story. From the hot, beautiful summers to the wonderfully raw winters, nature and its silences seem to give respite and calm to Huxley's overactive mind and Aspen's doubtful and cautious approach.
And in a way, it will be their love of nature and the outdoors to help them build and cross some fundamental bridges in their relationship.
I've really enjoyed this novel. It was moving, raw and quietly powerful and I'm very curious to read more by this author.
April 22, 2018
~~ Not all people are out to get you, Huxley. Some people just want to be nice. ~~
Another winner for me!! Amazing writing. Loved the character development of the two main characters Huxely and Aspen.
One way or another but Nicky James's stories always slay me. They are so real. Knowing absolutely nothing about the mental disorder "paranoid personality disorder"(PPD). My heart broke for Huxely. I can't imagine living your life questioning EVERYTHING, trusting NO ONE. It must be exhausting....
And the people involved, I have so much respect for them. I felt so much for Aspen. Aspen was trying so hard to support Huxely but he needed support too, to be able to handle Huxely's behaviour/way of thinking. I loved how Nathaniel, Huxley's late husband adressed it as; "We can't all have a mind like yours, babe. Gotta help me keep up."
Also I have to mention Chris. Chris was such a surprise. All summer he had been flirting outrageously with Aspen but what he said to Aspen was such an eyeopener, I loved that.
"Mental health isn't a joke. It's really fucking real, and if people spent more time trying to understand it than shunning those who suffer, then maybe people like my brother (who had Bi-Polar) wouldn't have felt so trapped and alone in this world."
Uuuugh and the epiloque!!! Such a perfect and extremely deserved HEA for Huxley and Aspen!!!
#swoons
I love these books that keep you thinking after you finished. I reckon I've hit another bookslump because of it.
*HIGHLY RECOMMENDED*
April 16, 2018
Color me surprised, again. I just didn’t think books with mental illness would appeal to me as much as they do.
That sounds kind of rude. Hopefully you know what I mean. I of course don’t want there to be mental illness so I can read about it…anyway…
I normally seem to lean toward easy breezy or you know, paranormal but this is the second book by this author with this type of subject matter and it worked for me.
I didn’t love this one as much as I loved Love Me Whole but it was pretty close. There was just something a little different to this one. I don’t know if it didn’t feel as authentic to me or maybe I didn’t connect as much. That is a scary thought. Anyway…
I have my eye on this author. I think some of her other books may be a little too far out of my comfort zone but I keep going back to look. She is that good.
That sounds kind of rude. Hopefully you know what I mean. I of course don’t want there to be mental illness so I can read about it…anyway…
I normally seem to lean toward easy breezy or you know, paranormal but this is the second book by this author with this type of subject matter and it worked for me.
I didn’t love this one as much as I loved Love Me Whole but it was pretty close. There was just something a little different to this one. I don’t know if it didn’t feel as authentic to me or maybe I didn’t connect as much. That is a scary thought. Anyway…
I have my eye on this author. I think some of her other books may be a little too far out of my comfort zone but I keep going back to look. She is that good.
i-m-a-quitter
June 3, 2018DNF @ 40%
Just never could get in to this one, and didn't find myself wanting to go back to it.
Just never could get in to this one, and didn't find myself wanting to go back to it.
July 28, 2018
4.5 Stars
April 15, 2021
This author and me don't gel. It is my second attempt reading this author's work and this one worked better but it still wasn't it. My main problem was the sexual dynamic at the beginning that did not feel true to the characters and made me uncomfortable. I may be too used to explicit negotiation and consent which is why this felt off. . They both love nature and that connection made sense but at one point I was rooting for Aspen to be with Chris. We don't really learn enough about Aspen's background IMO. The low key misogyny also grated me the wrong way. We don't have that many female characters but the 2 students who work with Aspen barely have any on page time and when they do they are grocery shopping for everyone, cooking or cleaning for others... Huxley's mom has no depth and we get expressions like "girly squeak" used in a derogatory way to "shame" a man into being more manly and another instance that I'm forgetting. The last few chapters were good and I really liked that Aspen stood up for himself when Huxley was being unreasonable and borderline abusive, hence the 3 stars. Onto the next
January 24, 2021
3.5-4 stars
May 5, 2019
This author writes some very good characters who are challenged by mental illness. In this book we have Huxley, who's been coping with a paranoid personality disorder much of his life. He was doing fairly well until his husband was murdered, sending Huxley off the rails, off his medications, and into hiding in the wilderness. Convinced that the real killer will try to get Huxley blamed for the crime, he hides out in a remote location, mostly living off the land and worried that every person he sees might be hunting him down to arrest and frame him.
Aspen is a researcher doing a survey of Alberta's grizzly bear population with a team of young students when he comes across Huxley's remote cabin. He's intrigued by Huxley, and has a vague impression of familiarity that sends him both trying to get closer to the reclusive bearded mountain man and doing some research into his situation.
We get both POVs in first person here and they are distinct enough not to ever be confusing. I enjoyed the glimpses into Huxley's thought processes, and the way he sees his paranoia as a more acute and real perception of the threats in the world than other people's blindness. He doesn't feel he's in the wrong, and therefore he's hard to help. Aspen fumbles with trying to get close to him, shifting from understanding to getting frustrated.
One of the things I appreciated with this book is that Aspen makes mistakes, more than once, and sometimes seriously, in dealing with Huxley. Often in books like this the more caregiving of the two men is made too perfect, but that didn't happen here. Aspen got hurt and offended and angry, at things driven by Huxley's paranoia, and that felt real. And he seeks out professional advice, which is also appreciated.
There is a fair bit of heated sex in this one - it makes sense as an initial way for these men to get together, when Huxley's paranoia would otherwise have been too steep an obstacle to get over. It wasn't always safe-feeling () but it was hot enough to be a powerful incentive to staying together in a critical moment, when the emotional part of their relationship was still a bit thin. Gradually they move beyond the sex to finding mutual interests and the HEA feels appropriate.
Aspen is a researcher doing a survey of Alberta's grizzly bear population with a team of young students when he comes across Huxley's remote cabin. He's intrigued by Huxley, and has a vague impression of familiarity that sends him both trying to get closer to the reclusive bearded mountain man and doing some research into his situation.
We get both POVs in first person here and they are distinct enough not to ever be confusing. I enjoyed the glimpses into Huxley's thought processes, and the way he sees his paranoia as a more acute and real perception of the threats in the world than other people's blindness. He doesn't feel he's in the wrong, and therefore he's hard to help. Aspen fumbles with trying to get close to him, shifting from understanding to getting frustrated.
One of the things I appreciated with this book is that Aspen makes mistakes, more than once, and sometimes seriously, in dealing with Huxley. Often in books like this the more caregiving of the two men is made too perfect, but that didn't happen here. Aspen got hurt and offended and angry, at things driven by Huxley's paranoia, and that felt real. And he seeks out professional advice, which is also appreciated.
There is a fair bit of heated sex in this one - it makes sense as an initial way for these men to get together, when Huxley's paranoia would otherwise have been too steep an obstacle to get over. It wasn't always safe-feeling () but it was hot enough to be a powerful incentive to staying together in a critical moment, when the emotional part of their relationship was still a bit thin. Gradually they move beyond the sex to finding mutual interests and the HEA feels appropriate.
zz-dnf
June 28, 2020DNF @ 28%, but it's two-thirds my fault.
1. I started this one the night after finding out my dog has cancer :(
2. Sometimes reading a POV from someone with extreme anxiety will make my stomach clench up in a way that makes the book physically unpleasant to read, which goes double when See No. 1
But...
3. I have pushed through anxiety-inducing POVs plenty of times when the book was good enough. This one just didn't hold my interest enough to make it worth it. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but it's nothing special either. So even though this was partly as case of the wrong book at the wrong time, I also feel no need to come back to it later. (And I got sucked straight in to the book I abandoned this one for and ended up rating it 4.5 stars, so it's definitely not *just* the mood I was in)
1. I started this one the night after finding out my dog has cancer :(
2. Sometimes reading a POV from someone with extreme anxiety will make my stomach clench up in a way that makes the book physically unpleasant to read, which goes double when See No. 1
But...
3. I have pushed through anxiety-inducing POVs plenty of times when the book was good enough. This one just didn't hold my interest enough to make it worth it. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but it's nothing special either. So even though this was partly as case of the wrong book at the wrong time, I also feel no need to come back to it later. (And I got sucked straight in to the book I abandoned this one for and ended up rating it 4.5 stars, so it's definitely not *just* the mood I was in)
February 23, 2024
I saw in somebody's review of Riley Hart's new book On the Mountain, that this one by Nicky James was a similar vibe but more thoughtfully executed, so I figured I'd give it a go! And I do think this one had a bit more teeth and depth. Huxley's paranoid personality disorder (PPD) was really interesting to read about, and though it did feel a little too neatly tied up at the end, I did appreciate that it was hard work. I enjoyed Aspen a lot, and while I did sometimes find his reactions to Huxley to be a bit frustrating--understandable that he would lose patience, but he often felt a little contradictory and just to really underestimate how hard things were for Huxley and his own ability to help him deal with those problems--on the whole I thought the build was solid between them. I do wonder if I'd have enjoyed it as much if I hadn't just come off of a similar read that I thought did these similar themes in a much weaker way (making this one look all the better for it) but I enjoyed it regardless.
May 31, 2018
You were probably expecting a sexy picture of Huxley right? Well you got one of Grizzly bears instead. Cute buggers aren’t they but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to run into one of these on a hike in the mountains. :)
Rocky Mountain Refuge is what I’d call a little gem. Something unexpected and a story I found to be beautiful. Huxley really touched my heart. After experiencing a heartbreaking loss, he lost control of his ability to deal with his paranoid personality disorder. For 5 years he led a lonely and desolate life that he seemed content with. That was until Aspen. I loved this guy too.
This story takes you through Huxley and Aspen’s shot at happiness. It was a journey that was heartbreaking at times but also incredibly comforting. Their relationship was fragile and the author did a fantastic job at keeping things real. And the sex. HOLY SHIT.
The side characters were great too. It was kind of fun being out in the wilderness. ❤
August 20, 2025
Very mixed feelings about this book. The story was beautiful, and it is very well written. I think those things are necessary for me to really get annoyed with the mc’s 😄 I got so angry while reading this book. Huxley was dealt some very bad cards in his life, both with his dad and his mental health. And in the beginning Aspen was amazing with him, winning his trust. And they were steamy 😄
And then he convinces Huxley to go home, and drops him like a bomb. How unfair is that? I get that Huxley was upsetting him, but still. He knew what Huxley’s illness contained. Of course it’s going to turn to the people around him as well. I was flabbergasted it took an angry 20 year old to convince him to change his ways and actually contact Huxley again. And also later they keep arguing while he knows how difficult it is for Huxley to trust people.
In the end it all works out of course. But I would have liked it a lot better if Aspen would have made a bit more of an effort to really be there for Huxley, especially in those difficult first weeks at home.
I don’t think I want to reread this book. I do recommend it though, because the story is beautiful. And baby bear cuddles 😍😄
And then he convinces Huxley to go home, and drops him like a bomb. How unfair is that? I get that Huxley was upsetting him, but still. He knew what Huxley’s illness contained. Of course it’s going to turn to the people around him as well. I was flabbergasted it took an angry 20 year old to convince him to change his ways and actually contact Huxley again. And also later they keep arguing while he knows how difficult it is for Huxley to trust people.
In the end it all works out of course. But I would have liked it a lot better if Aspen would have made a bit more of an effort to really be there for Huxley, especially in those difficult first weeks at home.
I don’t think I want to reread this book. I do recommend it though, because the story is beautiful. And baby bear cuddles 😍😄
April 22, 2018
I really enjoyed this. It got pretty rough at times, but the characters were amazing and it was very well written. A very unique story for sure, I don't think I've read many like it. I keep typing things and deleting, I can not really do this book justice, I would highly recommend it to everyone. It was pretty intense and broke my heart at several points. I adored both the main characters, and even Chris, who would have guessed that, huh?
April 27, 2018
5 stars and a rare place on my top favorite reads shelf 2018
Wow, wow, wow... this unique story just blew me away.
Can you love someone who is mentally ill? Aspen does... and reading about Aspen and Huxley getting to know each other and crossing every rocky road (yes, they are struggling!) was an intense experience.
“I thought you were a better person than that. Not everything in life is easy, you know. It’s the people who risk facing the hard stuff and the scary stuff every day who come out stronger in the end. They have more satisfaction in life because they fought hard to get where they are.”
Loved those two and would love to read more about their journey.
Very highly recommended!
Wow, wow, wow... this unique story just blew me away.
Can you love someone who is mentally ill? Aspen does... and reading about Aspen and Huxley getting to know each other and crossing every rocky road (yes, they are struggling!) was an intense experience.
“I thought you were a better person than that. Not everything in life is easy, you know. It’s the people who risk facing the hard stuff and the scary stuff every day who come out stronger in the end. They have more satisfaction in life because they fought hard to get where they are.”
Loved those two and would love to read more about their journey.
Very highly recommended!
May 1, 2018
4.5 stars
Wow, I don't know if I could handle someone like Huxley, but I think Aspen is up for the challenge.
Their courtship is not without bumps in the road. Their love for the outdoors is a powerful draw and helps bring them together.
Very steamy!!!
Wow, I don't know if I could handle someone like Huxley, but I think Aspen is up for the challenge.
Their courtship is not without bumps in the road. Their love for the outdoors is a powerful draw and helps bring them together.
Very steamy!!!
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