Into the Gray

by Margaret Killjoy

"You're using me," I said.

"That might be true, but I also love you."

One is the Lady of the Waking Waters, an immortal mermaid. The other is a thief, who steals lives until a wish can be fulfilled, and a life-changing choice must be made.

Genres: Fantasy, Short Stories, LGBT, Queer, Lesbian, Romance, Mermaids

22 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 25, 2018

About the author

Margaret Killjoy is a transfeminine author and editor currently based in the Appalachian mountains. Her most recent book is an anarchist demon hunters novella called The Barrow Will Send What it May, published by Tor.com. She spends her time crafting and complaining about authoritarian power structures and she blogs at birdsbeforethestorm.net.

Reviews

[karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I know a better place than your room at the inn,” I said.

“If you’re not a working girl, there’s no shame to be seen with you.”

“I know a place, a better place, where the wind runs cool off the water. Where I can rinse, where you can rinse, where we’d taste our best for one another while only the deer of the forest look on.”

“You’ve done this before,” he said. He was hungry at my words, at the thought of watching me bathe.

I had. Twice before. He would be my third.

“So have you,” I said.

“What do I call you?” he asked.

“Laria.”

“A harlot’s name.”

“Fitting, then,” I said, starting out for the edge of town with him in my wake. I didn’t ask his name, because I didn’t care to know it and because no one would ever call him it or anything else again.

this is one of the best free tor shorts i've read in a while: a transgirl thief-cum-assassin in the romantic service of a mermaid (the good hungry kind with teeth built for more than a pescatarian lifestyle), who lures her would-be lovers into her true love's tranquil pool where they are devoured messily before the couple passes leisurely afternoons of lovemaking together.

She was beautiful. In the usual ways, yes, but she was also beautiful in the ways that anyone might become, when you get to know the secret language of their body and their lives. She’d been alive so long, seen so much, developed so much beauty. The longer I might know her, the more of her hidden beauty I might unearth.

but fish-human relationships have always been complicated and theirs is no different, although it's a refreshing reversal of The Little Mermaid's self-abnegating forfeiture of her fishself. The Lady of the Waking Waters isn't giving up her voice for no one, and even though she's the Splash-kind of mermaid who can transition between legs and tail without the agonizing pain andersen presents, she's happy with the terms of their relationship, so if laria wants more, it's on her to source the magic to make it all possible. which she will, albeit bitterly:

It wasn’t fair, that she could walk and swim and I had to choose forever between one or the other. It wasn’t fair that I should be the one who would sacrifice for us to be together, when it would be so much easier for her.

and then other things happen that make laria's complaints about this problem seem quaint, because if there's one thing fairy tales have taught us, it's that things can always get worse.

it's a bittersweet story about what we are willing to risk or sacrifice to hold on to an impossible love whose loss is inevitable and what previously unthinkable compromises suddenly seem acceptable when they’re the only offer on the table; the only way to be together. it's also a nice balance between action and character, dark and light themes. these are the kind of tor shorts i love the most, and this one sits up there in that small, select group of five-star free tor shorts that kicked my heart's ass at just the right time.

read it for yourself here: https://www.tor.com/2018/04/25/into-t...

come to my blog!

[may ➹ · Rating 3 out of 5]

we love trans women dragging bad men to pools where their mermaid lovers are ready to kill them

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is short fiction about a trans girl thief in love with a lady of the pond who kills men– but only the terrible ones.

First of all, the writing is excellent, absolutely engrossing. This story is super atmospheric, which helped a lot. And also, the lead character is written quite well; I found it super easy to empathize with her.

I will say I went into this expecting a romance, and it’s really… not? It’s more of a character arc & coming of age, but that element didn’t pop up till the end and felt like a bit of an abrupt change, so keep those expectations. This was excellent and I'd definitely recommend.

You can read this for free here!

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[☀ Kat Nova ☀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A trans girl luring evil men to be killed by her hot mermaid girlfriend… Delicious.

I did not expect such a short story to intoxicate me like this. But here I am. Intoxicated. Drunk off this weird, atmospheric, gay fairytale.

”It’s always beautiful to watch someone perform their life’s work... the Lady, she was beautiful as she stripped flesh from bone."

(You can read this here) <3

[NAT.orious reads ☾ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 absolutely enamoured STARS ★★★★✬

This book is for you if… the killer combination of an LGBTQ love, a deathly mermaid and the taking of revenge on evil men via said mermaid's teeth even holds the tiniest bit of your interest.

⤐ Overall.
You know how I always say mermaids and the likes aren't for me? Consider me reformed. I mean, come onnn. What’s not to love about a trans girl leading evil men to their death by the ferocious teeth of her mermaid girlfriend? Precisely.

I'm usually not into short stories but Into the Gray sucked me in the instant I started reading. Margaret's writing is extremely intoxicating and picturesque without being overly prose-like, a challenge only few authors can take in stride. Both the scenery and the mood fell into place effortlessly, inviting me to join a short but sweet ride I will not forget any time soon.

In short, I would like to speak to the manager about the fact that there's no print version of this glorious drought of perfection.


⤐ What’s happening.

‘Only the worst of men. I had honor as a thief, so damned if I wouldn’t have honor as a murderer.’

Laria is in love with a Lady that can never be hers truly. But still she comes, way more often than necessary, to feed her mermaid love evil men. She knows this cannot go on forever, yet she refuses to leave the idea of spending the rest of her life with the Ladie of the Walking Waters. And so, a witch must be found.
_____________________
writing quality + easy of reading = 5*

pace = 5*

plot/story in general = 5*

plot development = 5*

characters = 4*

enjoyability = 5*

insightfulness = 4*
_____________________
This story can be found online on Tor

[aleksandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5

Kinda wish I could kill men with my mermaid lover.

[jade · Rating 4 out of 5]

“can i just stay here with you?” i asked. the moon had risen, a crescent scythe in the field of stars.

“of course not,” she said. “i live in the water, and it would be the death of you by drowning to join me.”

a dark but hauntingly beautiful take on the love between a mortal and a mermaid.

mermaids (alongside sirens) in mythology are known for luring unsuspecting men to their deaths. in this story, a thief lures evil men to the pond where her lover sleeps; the thief robs them of their valuables, while her mermaid paramour robs them of their lives.

they both get what they want out of this arrangement -- or do they?

this short story lives and breathes a fairy tale-esque atmosphere; from its subject matter to its lyrical prose and the otherworldly reactions of the mermaid lover. at its core lie deep questions of love, obsession, and just how much of ourselves we’re willing to give up in order to get what we want.

almost everyone is familiar with the tale of the little mermaid (whether the more tragic original or the fluffier disney version), and all its well-known tropes are subverted in a myriad of ways. from the one who’s actually considering changing themselves for the sake of love to how that change eventually comes about.

like all those drowning men, i was captivated by this eerie fairy tale as well. definitely makes you think twice about its themes.

read it here.

✎ 4.0 stars.

[destiny ♡ howling libraries · Rating 5 out of 5]

A trans girl lures terrible men to their deaths by feeding them to her vicious mermaid girlfriend? Yes, please. This was fantastic and sweet and had some incredible bits about love and respecting ourselves, as well as a quote that I adored:

I know what it’s like to need to advertise to the world what you are, so that people don’t just assume you are what they think you are.

Available to read for free on Tor.com!

[rachel, x · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not see myself reading about a trans thief luring terrible men to be murder by their mermaid paramour today but choices were made and my day has been made all the better for it. rtc.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story of deadly mermaids, lovers and killing men. I mean, who doesn't want a beautiful fae fish lady who you can feed evil men to? I just really wanted this to be longer to explore more of the main characters backstory and how they came to be a thief and exile, and maybe understand a bit more of why they behaved the way they did. Great rep though. Give me all the non-binary rep.

[m ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a great short story about a trans girl who helps lure in evil men so that her mermaid girlfriend can eat them. it was very well written and kept me intrigued throughout. i enjoyed it a lot! i definitely recommend it if you are looking for a short story with a bittersweet ending.

3.5/5 stars

[Tyler Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trans girl thief lures men, but only the bad ones, to her man eating mermaid girlfriend, who if you ask me doesn't really love her. Laria deserves so much better. The Lady (the mermaid) was so emotionless, so cruel in her lack of any emotion. The story made me want to cry. Love how it talks about obsession and respecting yourself.

I know what it’s like to need to advertise to the world what you are, so that people don’t just assume you are what they think you are.

[Ruxandra Grrr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another little lovely read for my queer reading group (the theme was Transformation) and the reading group ended up being just me and another friend and we had a really good time. I think this story is not as simple as it might appear (and it appears to be very genre-y), it features interesting power dynamics, pretty straightforward writing but with plenty of layers and the pacing is great! I really really felt for Laria (for reasons, lol), it reminded me a lot of a long distance relationship I had once (twice, three times, etc) and how power diferential, desire and loneliness can impact that. Pretty fucking good.

Also, gah, I really need to read Killjoy's novels, since I'd only read a couple of novellas from her, which were anarchist as fuck and I loved them.

Read for free here.

[Prabhjot Kaur · Rating 5 out of 5]

One is the Lady of the Waking Waters, an immortal mermaid. The other is a thief, who steals lives until a wish can be fulfilled, and a life-changing choice must be made.

I have always been mesmerized by the mermaids and their powers, magic and universe and this short story was no different. It is about a transgender person who falls in love with a mermaid and is willing to leave their life on land to be with their lover.

The transgender person lures men to the Waking Waters and there The Lady of the Waking Waters (the mermaid) devours them. The transgender person does this to win the love of The Lady of the Waking Waters. But things don't always work out as planned.

It wasn’t fair, that she could walk and swim and I had to choose forever between one or the other.

A very dark and a mesmerizing story. I obviously want more, more of this story, more of this universe and more of the magic of mermaids. An absolute gem.

5 stars

[jut · Rating 5 out of 5]

*chef's kiss*

first of all: you can find it online and it's only twenty pages. and everyone should read that piece, this tells a story about a trans bi thief who lures awful men into the water so their immortal mermaid girlfriend can have a little snack time as she murder those men, i dont know if this sound amazing but this is amazing!

[freddie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, methinks.

We love a short story about a trans woman luring terrible men to the water so her lesbian mermaid girlfriend can eat them! I really enjoyed this, though- the ending was bittersweet but fitting and the writing style was really lovely. Also quite liked the fact that the mermaid was very clearly not a human being and therefore didn't think like one.

Some fave quotes:
○ "I didn’t ask his name, because I didn’t care to know it and because no one would ever call him it or anything else again."
○ "I know what it’s like to need to advertise to the world what you are, so that people don’t just assume you are what they think you are."
○ My life had been brief, to be sure, but many lives are, and length alone is no grounds on which to judge.

I read this over at tor.com, so if you're interested it's available here to be read! : )

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We’re not the same," she told me. "It’s not possible for us to lead the same life."

Beautiful trans thief falls madly in love with a mermaid, a hungry mermaid. With a love Laria understands is obsession they lead evil men to die in the Waking Waters.

"It’s always beautiful to watch someone perform their life’s work... the Lady, she was beautiful as she stripped flesh from bone."

Oh yeah!

But really, it’s about trying to find acceptance... in the wrong place.

This dark fantasy felt rushed and clipped, like a compromised novella. Still a good read though.

[Acqua · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've recently read The Lamb Will Slaughter the Lion by this author and I didn't like it as much as I hoped (still a solid novella, though), but I loved this. Into the Gray is the story of Laria, trans woman in a medieval-like fantasy village who brings terrible men to the Lady of the Waking Waters - the immortal, man-eating mermaid who is Laria's lover. Also, Laria would want to become a mermaid, but magic like that always has a price.
There are witches, mermaids and magic, the writing is lovely, and you can't not love that premise.

[Meagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Will definitely be checking out more of this author's work!

[bri]

a trans woman longs to be with her powerful vicious mermaid gf and they kill shitty men together. we love to see it.

CW/TW: murder, blood, violence, sexual content (fade to black), misgendering

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why is there so much aquatic sapphic sff? The sapphics yearn for the sea. I think the pretty Peter Pan mermaids did this to us.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short story definitely had some interesting and positive elements to it. I loved how representation was included and I think that the plot was quite original. I must say the ending wasn't my favourite part, I expected a little more from it. But other than that it was a quick and nice read.

[E. · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 🌟 Read here.

"I only led the worst of men down to the Waking Waters and death, down to my love in the pool below the falls. [...]

All so that the Lady of the Waters might love me.

Well, that and so I could rob their corpses."

Everyone needs in their lives a story about a trans bi woman leading awful men to her amoral lesbian mermaid girlfriend so she can have a snack before they bang. 👌👌

__________________________

insta | twitter | blog | booksirens | duolingo

[Katie.dorny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't know I needed this book until I read it.
Here we love trans women who lure men to their deaths for their lesbian lover.
I also adored the writing - it was beautifully poetic.
It's an amazing quick read!

[Nadja · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I know what it’s like to need to advertise to the world what you are, so that people don’t just assume you are what they think you are."

[Poppy || Monster Lover · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Murdery feminine rage short. Ngl, I’m disappointed that this wasn’t really a romance or erotica, but it still had some good points. I enjoyed the anti capitalist vibes and the mermaid stuff. I wanted more to connect me to the main characters though.

Spice: 0/5

Triggers: murder, violence, gore, fall, sex worker shaming, poverty

[celine · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Why are death and love and change all tied up together in our heads?"

[A ☾ · Rating 2 out of 5]

(Maybe 2.4?)

I was lied to. I was fooled. And now I'm sad.

So Laria is a transgender thief who likes girls, and more specifically, a siren, and that is hands down one of the best things I have ever heard about. But, despite all the hype of "trans thief that brings bad men to her girlfriend so she can kill them", the Siren is just using her and doesn't love her; and wanted Laria to give up her life to be with her, even though (again) she didn't love her to begin with. So I don't know why everyone is romanticising that so much ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, Laria was so obsessed to be with this Siren that she almost gave up her entire life for her (like what the hell, girl?) but thankfully, in the end, she got some sense in that head of her.

So this is not really a love story (or at least, is not one that is worth it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and if you are reading this because of that be ready for disappointment.

Now, a whole book about Laria and that friend of her (Fitch), I would read the shit out of it. (I mean, Fitch doesn't appear in this story, but I approve that ship)

[helena · Rating 4 out of 5]

nice!

not gonna lie, i was expecting another ending, but it’s okay. the things i liked the most were the writing and henrietta.
i hope i’m not the only one who thinks this book looks a lot like rihanna’s te amo.

[River · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25/5

I only led the worst of men down to the Waking Waters and death, down to my love in the pool below the falls.