Soar, Adam, Soar

by Rick Prashaw

“Coming out. Coming in. Coming home.”



Adam Prashaw’s life was full of surprises from the moment he was born. Assigned female at birth, and with parents who had been expecting a boy, he spent years living as “Rebecca Danielle Adam Prashaw” before coming to terms with being a transgender man. Adam captured hearts with his humour, compassion, and intensity. After a tragic accident cut his life short, he left a legacy of changed lives and a trove of social media posts documenting his life, relationships, transition, and struggles with epilepsy, all with remarkable transparency and directness.



In Soar, Adam, Soar, his father, a former priest, retells Adam’s story alongside his son’s own words. From early childhood, through coming out first as a lesbian and then as a man, and his battles with epilepsy and refusal to give in, it chronicles Adam’s drive to define himself, his joyful spirit, and his love of life, which continues to conquer all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, Memoir, Mental Health, LGBT

256 pages, Paperback

First published February 2, 2019

About the author

Rick is a full-time author now after writing as a journalist, Catholic priest, Canadian NGO leader and political staff.

Dundurn Press is publishing his Soar, Adam, Soar on Feb. 2, 2019. The autobiography and biography on his late son, Adam, trace a remarkable "coming out, coming in, coming home" by Adam, and Rick's roller-coaster ride as parent. The unique story includes dozens of Adam's Facebook posts capturing his humor, courage and sunny ways. Listening, loving and acceptance --- gratitude in grief --- is where he invites readers.

After journalism studies, Rick worked for the Vancouver Sun. With a call to ministry, and after theology studies, he was a Catholic priest for 12 years in Northern Ontario. When he chose to marry, he worked as executive and communications coordinator for The Church Council on Justice and Corrections (NGO dedicated to healing justice, community safety). Rick capped his career working for three federal Members of Parliament in Canada.

He's discovered a love for writing short stories now as he continues research on several non-fiction books on faith, politics and his father's WW2 story as a :D-Day Dodger" in Italy.

He's also getting to know his characters in three works of fiction that will follow the non-fiction books.

Reviews

[Jude · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me fess up; I am Rick Prashaw, the author's, sister: one of them, the middle one. If you think I'm a wee bit biased you may be right, however, if my brother's book was poorly written I simply would not leave a review; we Prashaws are honest.

Who would be consoled, encouraged, perhaps challenged in reading Soar, Adam, Soar?:

Parents of children suffering from any serious medical issue. Adam's journey with epilepsy and his parents steadfast, nail biting journey with him is an invitation to all parents, an invitation to a community that says you are not alone.

Teens, young adults and older adults who struggle to find the courage to say I Am; I am who I know I am no matter what others may perceive. "I am Adam," my niece proclaimed on Facebook one day. Adam's story may give you permission to find your I Am.

Parents, siblings, family and friends of those struggling with gender identity; walk with Adam and his family as compassion and acceptance rules the day.

To those who grieve the loss of a child; Rick Prashaw doesn't sugar coat the death of his only son. What he does do is teach us that it is community that helps us through the darkest days.

And finally, to those who need hope. In the midst of Adam's many struggles he was ever hopeful. Even in death, Adam gave hope and new life to four organ recipients.

Soar, Adam, Soar is a testimony to a young man who lived I Am out loud and who invited his parents, family and friends along for one wild ride.

Why not five stars? ; seriously, he's my brother.

[Federica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful, beautiful, emotional story!
Adam's father narrates the story of his child, of the love and respect he had for their journey through transition and the legacy Adam left after their too early departure.
Eccellent narrator!

[Evan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Soar, Adam, Soar, by Rick Prashaw, is a truly touching story of a father and son. Rick shows us that a fathers love for his child knows no bounds, when he choose to stick by Adam’s side. At the age of 20, Adam transitions from female to male, even through all his epileptic seizures. Over time Adams parents divorce and he is left with his father.

I felt that this story was less about Adam and more about his father. As a person who has personally transitioned from female to male, I felt Adams tradition was a bit fast. I would like to see how Adam progressed over his transition. I would love to see his good and bad days. Was he dysphoric? How did he deal with this days and his did the father deal with them? Overall, I enjoyed this story and wanted to know more about Adam and see him portrayed more. I felt like this story is similar to my own in ways.

I was given this book by Net Galley in exchange for an honest review. I wanted to thank the author for writing this story. Not many people can write about their tragic past. This is brave a tale that needs to be shared with the rest of the world.

[Roberta Blablanski · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a touching tribute by a loving father to his fascinating and resilient son. This book almost felt co-written as Adam's social media posts were incorporated into Prashaw's narrative. Adam's posts provided a unique insight into his struggles with growing up and epilepsy, and his journey to transitioning. No doubt Prashaw loved and respected his son, and gave him as much freedom as possible (given his medical condition) to become the wonderful person he was in his short life. Adam's life isn't sugar-coated, and I appreciated the realness with which Prashaw relates his story.

[Tania Larabie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rick this book is a beautiful tribute to your son a amazing man and best friend to so many including myself.. this book is so well written and allows you to meet adam in a way. Its full of joke laughs and tears a great story about a young trans man and the hurdels he had to over come a bitter sweet read a book everyone can charish well done rick we are so proud

[Lisabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank netgally, the author for an Advanced Copy of this book. I really enjoyed this book. It's well worth reading

[Brittney Dorey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! You just can’t put it down! You can really get a true sense of Adam and his friends/family! Highly recommend! Will read it again! Very well written.

[Emily Watkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really great book. It is a story of transformation and loss. Well written so an easy read. Pick it up - you will learn and be inspired.

[Kevin O'Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story for all ages that opens up conversations on family love, loss, trans identities and transitions across the life and death binary. This story is pertinent to our times!

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Inspiring!

[Jessica Desrochers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a love story of a father and son moving through life. Thank you Rick for letting us be apart of Adam's story. It was also a promotional add for the benefits of becoming an organ donor.

[Beverly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was not the book that I had anticipated and though it is touching, it did not take me in the direction I was seeking. Clearly, though, it has given a number of people solace. I hope that the readers who need it find it.

[Cathy]

I really enjoyed this book. I had tears and also many smiles as I got know Adam and his family. Great job Rick, what a wonderful way to promote human rights and acceptance of everyone.

[Sharon Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, Soar, Adam, Soar, brilliantly written by Rick Prashaw and uniquely co-authored by Adam Prashaw is a loving account of the lives and journeys of both father and child as they navigate their ways from Rebecca Adam’s remarkable birth, into a childhood fraught with health challenges, through an adolescence complicated by not only the normal issues related to growing into adulthood, but by illness and a much deeper identity crisis which leads to gender transformation as Rebecca becomes Adam. I say that this is required reading for everyone, because it is a desperately needed statement in this world in which we are living, of acceptance, not just tolerance, but true acceptance of all people, of all ages, all genders, all differences. It is a testament of the love between parent and child, between and among friends, and of the love and support of siblings and extended family. Rick’s own journey from a childhood where he was the precious son of two loving parents, the fiercely loved brother of many supportive siblings, to being a much loved pastor in a Catholic parish, then a cherished husband, amazing dad, treasured uncle, cousin and friend, brought him to the point in time where he would be challenged beyond all his possible expectations. It is this very network of support which continues to help him find a way through the agony of losing a child.
I say that this is required reading for everyone because the story does not end with Adam’s death. It is a book of hope. We learn of the lives saved because of Adam’s wish to have his organs donated. We learn of the ways that the Trans-gender Community is growing and how Adam’s story is promoting education and providing acceptance to a group which struggles with being and feeling accepted. We learn of the devastating effects that epilepsy has on those who suffer with it. This book gives hope to those who need it so desperately.
I say that this is required reading for everyone because I believe that Adam and Rick’s story needs to be heard by as many people as possible. Their lives embody the good for which we strive and to spread that good is to keep on giving Adam’s life meaning.
I am not sure if this young man ever realized the impact his life would have on so many, but through this amazing book, through the love of parents, family and friends, and through the continued education that it inspires, Adam will continue to live on and his life will indeed continue to influence all who meet him through this story.
Well done, Rick and Adam!

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly written. Thought-provoking. A story about a love-filled life journey. Gender, identity, epilepsy, organ donation are important themes in the book and society.

[Enid Wray · Rating 2 out of 5]

Here is another really important - heartbreaking - story that needs to be told and I'm glad it has been told.

But, the writing is pedantic and the organisation is flawed. This book is in serious need of a good edit.

The fundamental problem is the way that the ‘story’ is framed. This is pitched as Adam’s story… but, notwithstanding the inclusion of copies of some of Adam’s social media postings sprinkled throughout, this is not Adam’s story. This is Dad’s story. And Dad refuses to let Adam ‘speak’. The approach smacks of paternalism at best - although it does improve later on towards the end - and I do empathise with Dad and his fears for Adam and his struggles with the enormity of the situation.

Then there are the little (or not so little) annoyances like the inclusion of ‘explanatory’ footnotes on things like social media shorthand or what Snapchat, Tumblr and Instagram are. There are even footnotes for ‘LGBTQ+’ and cisgender, as well as recommended resources (including URL’s that go on forever!). Many of these, in the way they are written, come off as paternalistic at best - pandering and insulting at worst. These items need to be at the end of the book in a proper glossary and dedicated list of resources for parents and allies. And is it just me or is it not more than a little gruesome that the cover photo is a selfie Adam took of himself in the very ‘hot tub’ he would drown in on the night in question?

Once again I feel for the pain that Adam's family and friends went through... and there are very important lessons - and political truths - to be learned from the experience. I trust that this book will find the readers it is trying to find and perhaps have some impact to effect change in the system.

But for those of us who are already allies, or someone looking for a good piece of literary non-fiction to read, this is not the book of choice.

[Mark Napper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written and inspiring book of love and loss. Author Rick Prashaw shares the story of his son Adam, a young trans man who's heart and love of life leap off the pages. I love the way Rick has included many of Adam's own words - I felt like I was reading a book written jointly by Adam and his Dad. I laughed, I cried, and I learned. The story of a very courageous and inspiring young man told by his loving and grieving father. Highly recommend this to all!

[Robert Zettel · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Soar Adam Soar’ is the story of the love of a father for his child. Although random life events and the choices of other people seem to leave him powerless, the author struggles to protect and guide his ‘kid’. He relies on his own experience, his Christian Faith, and like most parents ‘flies by the seat of his pants’. The book reads well, is engaging and with clarity, humour and humility he outlines his journey; a gut-wrenching emotional trauma resulting from a debilitating illness, a conflicted identity and the untimely death of his son. Through Facebook posts and tweets we are given another view of his daughter/son struggling to find a place in a difficult world. The book, ‘Soar Adam Soar’, rings with honesty and authenticity and is well worth reading. I was deeply touched by the steadfast love of this father for his child and the subsequent pain that he endured.

[Sali Happo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although the author touches on the emotional subject matter, the book does not convey the story effectively. The book takes an excellent story and uses this material in inelegant ways, making for a frustrating experience on the part of the reader. The book is a muddled combination of social media and various narratives. As a story, this was compelling, but as a reading experience, it was not. I read the book entirely, and am a bit confused about the overwhelming 5-star ratings folks have given this book. I doubt that a lot of them have actually read the book because if they did they would know that it was not 5-star quality. I wish the author luck to try and convey the story better next time.

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was, quite simply, an incredible true story about Adam Prashaw. His life, loves, pain & joy. Written by his dad, Rick Prashaw and uniquely co-authored by Adam himself!
This book had me laughing and crying a number of times. I was amazed at the resiliency, courage & love this spunky kid gave to everyone with whom he came in contact. It is an eye opener to say the least and I most certainly did not want the book to end. As a matter of fact, if Rick Prashaw writes another book, I’m buying it!
I learned so much about our transgender youth, seizures, organ donations and the humanity of everyday people. This book has tragedy, joy and so much more! Read it! You will love it. You will be inspired! You will learn of a special love from a wonderful young man! Soar, Adam, Soar!

[Natalie Ramon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soar Adam Soar is real life. It delves into the challenges both Adam and his dad, Rick, face when met with a diagnosis of epilepsy, gender questioning, ftm transitioning, and it takes a good look into parenting in today’s world...what it means to accept your child and the different relationships possible via social media. It a story of deep love and loss. It is a story not only of a transgendered “kid” but of a transitioning parent moving from life before the loss of a child to after. Amidst the devastating loss of his son, Rick is able to teach the reader of gratitude. This book is a must read.

[Greg Humbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

In his writing Rick has struck a tone that broadened my perspective of the issues of sexual identity and the search for our true selves. He has plumbed the depths of grief in the death of his son Adam, that one can't imagine. He has provided a testament to the power of love to lift us up. He has shown us how even in tragedy new life can erupt from organ donation. And above all, he has accomplished all of this with a generosity of spirit, a curious mind, a big heart, and his ability to look tragedy straight in the eye and befriend it. All this while recounting dollops of the humour both he and his son reveled in. I could not recommend this book more highly.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing story of bravery, character, learning and growth. A true triuph in every sense of the word. Adam passed many tests with flying colours! The truly important tests of life. The tests that can make people cower and run at times. Following ones heart and being true to yourself is one, if not the most important test of all. Adam passed this test with exception. I would even argue that he rewrote the rubric for others to refer to on how one needs to fulfill the necessary requirements to pass.
I highly recomend this book!

[Carol Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many things to say about this book, and how profoundly moving it was to read. A Dad's love for his transgender son, lost too soon in a tragic accident. To hear Rick's story, and to have it interspersed with Adam's own FaceBook and Twitter comments during his transitioning was heartwarming, but also informative. Adam's gift of organ donation is detailed and should convince anyone sitting on the fence about being a donor to jump on board. Such sadness mixed with such joy! Thank you, Rick for sharing your journey, as well as Adam's. Bravo!

[Carolanne Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly loved every page of this book. The way in which Rick brought Adam along with his Social media comments made his journey more real and Adam more present. Thank you Rick for allowing us a glimpse into the incredible journey that you, your family, and Adam’s friends had the privilege of experiencing. Having been on the other end of organ donation, this book has special meaning for me and our family.

[Amy Dufera - Amy's MM Romance Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soar, Adam, Soar is definitely a beautiful book. Written as a tribute to his inspirational son, the author excels in doing just that. Rick reminisces on Adam's youth, when he was still known as Rebecca. Rick takes us through Adam's trials with epilepsy, and his struggles with being transgender. It's a strong and powerful story.

[Kendra Borthwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing Read! I cant even come up with words to describe how much I loved this book! Rick does a great job of helping Adam shine through on the pages of this book with all his social media posts.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Adam Prashaw's life was an adventure from the moment he was born. Assigned female at birth, he spent years living as "Rebecca Danielle Adam Prashaw" before coming to terms with being a transgender man and sharing that with the world openly. Adam captured hearts with his humor, compassion, zest for life. and his intensity for life itself. After a tragic accident while swimming cut his life short, he left a legacy of changed lives and a plethora of social media posts documenting his life, relationships, transition, and struggles with epilepsy, all with remarkable transparency, boldness, bravery, and directness. Your foray through Adam’s life also shows you that despite pure love for your child, the distance that “growing up” (never mind “growing up” with gender identity issues) creates between parent and child, and how hard it can be for parents to supress their protective urges when it comes to their children and allowing them the room to grow into their own person, whomever that may be. It spotlights a deeply emotional relationship between a father and son, and the oceans of support and unconditional love always present in Adam’s life.

This is a powerful tale of not just strength, resilience, and hope, but also of acceptance, grace, and the ever present legacy we leave behind with family, friends, and the world as a whole.

I extend my utmost gratitude to NetGalley, Tantor Audio, and the author Rick Prashaw for this audiobook ARC in exchange for my unbiased review.

Initially I did find the narrator off putting, robotic, and sometimes inappropriate, however when I read the note from the publisher, that the narrator is the recipient of Adam’s heart, how can you find fault in what you hear. It’s coming from that deep place of love allowing part of Adam to continue on. Definitely worth the read (or listen if you don’t mind an audiobook narrated by someone with a few “quirks” to their speech patterns!) A 3.5 star audiobook for me.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Rick Prashaw: I want to say thank-you for putting into words the most difficult emotions, (those deep, deep waters) you have so admirably conveyed in your book “Soar, Adam, Soar.” It is a story of Adam’s enormous courage as he, and you, face such enormous challenges. ...epilepsy, transgender and unquestionable acceptance of organ donation, something very close to my heart (and lungs 🤗). I am in awe of your son, his spirit and his journey. Together, you have both educated me and I am sure many others. I often wonder who my organ donor was. Like you, I wrote the most heartfelt thank-you to my donor hoping that it might help ease their grief. They gave me a new life to which I will be forever grateful. Pls everyone, take a moment and register at Beadonor.ca. Four families received Adam’s heart, liver and kidney’s. “Adam’s name and gender were assigned without consent at birth,” is a hugely thought-provoking statement on it’s own. But you both opened up my eyes through your own lived experience. Your love for Adam shines. His spirit shines. So again, a big thank-you for sharing this difficult story. Adam had a hard life, yes, but he embraced every second. Take good care Rick. I look forward to a moment sitting on a bench on Elgin St inviting me to “sit down, relax, and rest a while.”

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an audio ARC of this book through NetGalley in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

In Soar, Adam, Soar, Rick Prashaw tells the story of his son Adam, a transgender man who didn't let the struggles in his life keep him from living life to the fullest before his untimely death due to a seizure-related drowning. Rick draws on his memories of Adam and direct quotes from Adam's Facebook page to tell the story of Adam's life. He also tells about the legacy Adam left behind, not just through the memories with family and friends, but also by donating organs to give 4 other people a second chance at life.

I generally prefer to hear audiobook memoirs read by the authors themselves so we can really hear the emotion/tone behind their words. However, if Rick couldn't or didn't want to narrate this book himself, I think it is really neat that John Dickhout, the recipient of Adam's heart, was able to narrate the book instead. I enjoyed reading about Adam's life, but my favorite part of the book was how open and honest Rick was about his grief in the aftermath of Adam's death. My main complaint with the book would be the flow of the story. I think it could have been better organized or edited. 3.5 stars