Hated it at first. Was pretentious and verbose. Once I got past that and into the groove of Buckley's writing style I started to enjoy it. Idk. Something about everyone wanting to fuck the protagonist in a rockstar's novel was a bit contrived and narcissistic. I'm sure everyone in Buffalo wants to fuck Keith Buckley and every couple wants him to join them, but I don't really give a shit about that.
It's hard to feel for the protagonist when he's an inattentive eraser of a husband. When he hones in on his own insecurities of feeling out of place and uncomfortable in his own skin the ego makes a lot more sense. Gotta balance out all that self hate somewhere. He gets a few redemption points for the self-deprecation, but even still it feels inauthentic. Not a victim. Not a martyr. Somewhere in between you gotta take responsibility for what's yours. Time eats everyone alive.
My issue doesn't lie within the context of the scatterbrained/nonlinear nature of the novel. You catch on to that. Oh he's dying and reliving his memories and doesn't fully recognize the person he's watching bla bla bla. Cool. Into it. It's hanging on to every word like it's honey dripping from your lips. Again, once I got into it I could start to look past that, and it got better as the novel progressed.
Wouldn't have picked up this book if I hadn't just finished reading High Anxiety and didn't catch my ex's dog trying to chew up this book. In the end this was the book I needed to read after escaping a relationship with a narcissist 12 years my senior who can't really read and has an ETID flag hanging over his bed. Maybe that has shaped some of my opinions of the thing. Perhaps I wouldn't have such a bitter taste in my mouth for it if it existed outside those realms. Regardless, it's not entirely Keith Buckley's fault that there is an entire fanbase of disengaged, uneducated men with mommy issues willing to follow him like lemmings, but it was rather serendipitous that this quite literally fell into my lap when it did... I should call him.
Quotes:
"He looked back and saw his mother, smiling into the sun, impervious to the death ahead of him at the place where the water met the land, the death that waited to greet him, to take him in, to change him, and spit him back as something different." pg. 63
"And when he is convinced he has overturned every other stone on his abandoned earth, he cautiously removes the last brick from a crumbling wall and opens the box where he hides his shame." pg. 84