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Side by Side
Fiction. Asian Studies. IPPY Award Silver Medalist for Multicultural Fiction. Kavita Gupta is a woman in transition. When her troubled older brother, Sunil, disappears, she does everything in her power to find him, convinced that she can save him. Ten days later, the police arrive at her door to inform her that Sunil's body has been found. Her world is devastated. She finds herself in crisis mode, trying to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart even more. As she tries to cope with her loss, the support system around her begins to unravel. Her parents' uneasy marriage seems more precarious. Her health is failing as her unprocessed trauma develops into more sinister conditions. Her marriage suffers as her husband is unable to relate to her loss. She bears her burden alone, but after hitting her lowest point, she knows she needs to find a better way of coping. Desperate for connection, she reaches out to a bereavement group, where she meets Hawthorn, a free-spirited young man with whom she discovers a deep connection through pain. After being blindsided by a devastating marital betrayal, she wonders if a fresh start is possible in the wake of tragedy. Will she escape her problems and start over? Or will she face the challenges of rebuilding the life she already has? SIDE BY SIDE is a story about loss, growth and the search for meaning in the wake of tragedy, illuminated through one woman's journey from harm to care.
- GenresFiction
286 pages, Paperback
Published October 25, 2018
1 person is currently reading
1600 people want to read
About the author
Anita Kushwaha
7 books120 followersAnita Kushwaha is an award-winning Canadian author. Her road to publication included a fulfilling career in academia, where she studied human geography at Carleton University and earned an M.A. and a Ph.D as a Tri-council funded scholar, collaborating with Indigenous communities in the eastern Canadian Arctic and Ottawa on socio-cultural and environmental issues. A graduate of the Humber School for Writers creative writing program, her work has appeared in Ms. Magazine, The Globe and Mail, Quill and Quire, The Literary Review of Canada, The 49th Shelf, Open Book, Word on the Street, The Ottawa Review of Books, Ottawa Life Magazine, Girly Book Club, CBC All in a Day, and Canadian Living among others. Her first novel, Side by Side, won an Independent Publisher Book Awards' Silver Medal for Multicultural Fiction in 2019. She is also the author of a novella, The Escape Artist. Her latest novel, Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters, was released in January 2020 by HarperCollins Canada and selected as a March Book of the Month by Word on the Street, highlighted as a "Books with Buzz" by Canadian Living, selected as an "Editors' Pick" by The 49th Shelf, and included in the "Crazy for CanLit" reading list curated by the Giller Prize Foundation. Themes in her work include exploring the social and cultural pressures faced by South Asian girls and women, immigrant experiences, diaspora, intergenerational conflict, identity, belonging, place, and mental health. She is a member of the Canadian Authors Association, the Women's Fiction Writers Association, and is the recipient of an Ontario Arts Council Literary Creations Grant. She proudly writes about communities in the National Capital Region where she is from. She lives in Ottawa.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
January 25, 2019
A tough, moving story about learning to live with loss. 4/5 stars.
This review was originally posted on my book blog.
From reading the blurb, you’ll appreciate this isn’t an easy read. Side by Side is an unflinching look at loss and, more specifically, survivor’s guilt and the maelstrom of emotions experienced when losing a loved-one to suicide.
However, this is not a depressing book. The story is structured in three acts entitled Fall, Crawl and Rise. As this makes clear, while you’ll reach a point where things look rather bleak for the main character they do eventually start to get better. And although the story is tough, it is definitely worth sticking with, as it’s wonderful to see how Kavita grows through her darkest moments of grief and emerges stronger and wiser.
The reason the story is tough is that we empathise entirely with Kavita. She is always doing her best and struggles on bravely after her brother’s death even though she is virtually abandoned by everyone we would expect to help and support her. I knew the story had won me over wholeheartedly to her side when, at about halfway through, she goes on a short trip to London and I found myself wanting to climb into the book and shake people who were behaving like inconsiderate idiots towards her!
This is an important story. Although work is being done by various individuals and organisations to raise public awareness of mental illness and suicide in a laudable effort to remove the stigma and misunderstanding around both, there is still a lot to be done before we treat those suffering from mental illnesses with as much compassion as those with physical illnesses. Particularly shocking in this story is the lack of consideration shown by those in the medical profession which, from anecdotal evidence merely from those I know who have had similar issues, is often all too true. The apparent callouness of Kavita’s family and friends is also sadly believable. In this way, the book is also a valuable reminder of how little kindness and sympathetic listening cost, but how invaluable they can be to those who need them.
Overall: Side by Side is a compelling story containing a great deal of wisdom about grief and learning to live with loss.
This review was originally posted on my book blog.
From reading the blurb, you’ll appreciate this isn’t an easy read. Side by Side is an unflinching look at loss and, more specifically, survivor’s guilt and the maelstrom of emotions experienced when losing a loved-one to suicide.
However, this is not a depressing book. The story is structured in three acts entitled Fall, Crawl and Rise. As this makes clear, while you’ll reach a point where things look rather bleak for the main character they do eventually start to get better. And although the story is tough, it is definitely worth sticking with, as it’s wonderful to see how Kavita grows through her darkest moments of grief and emerges stronger and wiser.
The reason the story is tough is that we empathise entirely with Kavita. She is always doing her best and struggles on bravely after her brother’s death even though she is virtually abandoned by everyone we would expect to help and support her. I knew the story had won me over wholeheartedly to her side when, at about halfway through, she goes on a short trip to London and I found myself wanting to climb into the book and shake people who were behaving like inconsiderate idiots towards her!
This is an important story. Although work is being done by various individuals and organisations to raise public awareness of mental illness and suicide in a laudable effort to remove the stigma and misunderstanding around both, there is still a lot to be done before we treat those suffering from mental illnesses with as much compassion as those with physical illnesses. Particularly shocking in this story is the lack of consideration shown by those in the medical profession which, from anecdotal evidence merely from those I know who have had similar issues, is often all too true. The apparent callouness of Kavita’s family and friends is also sadly believable. In this way, the book is also a valuable reminder of how little kindness and sympathetic listening cost, but how invaluable they can be to those who need them.
Overall: Side by Side is a compelling story containing a great deal of wisdom about grief and learning to live with loss.
June 20, 2019
A superbly written book on the effects of a suicide on a family, particularly on Kavita whose brother disappeared for 10 days before his body was found. Kavita's life descends into a living hell as her parents fight and she tries to hold it all together. Full review here: http://bit.ly/SidebySideReview
November 11, 2019
Side by Side is a heart-wrenching, emotionally charged story that is certainly not for the faint of heart. The reader accompanies our protagonist, Kavita, on an intimate journey through debilitating loss and grief. The novel explores the complexity of both Kavita's internal and external life following the suicide of her brother. This is not a plot-driven book, but rather, forces the reader to confront with total vulnerability the multi-faceted ways that grief affects our lives—from deep-seated guilt over the possibility that we could have done better, to the shame caused by stigma attached to mental health issues, to the enraging platitudes used by acquaintances in well-intentioned attempts to comfort us. The reader is, in the truest sense of the phrase, side-by-side with Kavita as she grapples with how to move on, and with whether or not moving on is even possible. We watch as her life crumbles and as she struggles to find support in those closest to her—as she grows increasingly alienated and risks drowning in her own rage. Side by Side is an incredibly humanizing and honest story, and although it is heavy and can leave you feeling the full force of its weight on your shoulders, it’s a worthwhile read and a valuable, nuanced perspective on the impact of suicide.
January 5, 2019
More often then not, I follow genres.
But I also like to follow authors, regardless the subject matter and I tend to read Kushwaha’s work without much forethought.
As with her previous work (The Escape Artist), Side by Side isn’t my usual cuppa tea and as with The Escape Artist, I was totally absorbed by this novel.
I read this book early Nov 2018 and it continues working in my head and deeper still. I was captivated by these fully realised characters, drawn in by their well-crafted dialogue and I was always eager to see where the journey would take me.
An easy Five Star recommendation.
But I also like to follow authors, regardless the subject matter and I tend to read Kushwaha’s work without much forethought.
As with her previous work (The Escape Artist), Side by Side isn’t my usual cuppa tea and as with The Escape Artist, I was totally absorbed by this novel.
I read this book early Nov 2018 and it continues working in my head and deeper still. I was captivated by these fully realised characters, drawn in by their well-crafted dialogue and I was always eager to see where the journey would take me.
An easy Five Star recommendation.
October 21, 2019
It can be difficult to read novels that touch on death and grief, but Kushwaha does it with such grace that it helps us get through the heartache she describes. I feel like she creates this world but also holds our hand through it so that we can come out on the other side of the book having learned something. (Empathy, forgiveness, healing) Side by Side will resonate with me long after its found a home on my shelf. Looking forward to another read from this author but I will know to keep the Kleenex close by!
July 1, 2019
I was sent this book for a blog tour. My ratings and reviews will be my own personal opinions and are in no way influenced by publishers or authors who may have sent me books to review.
I had agreed to review this story for a Instagram/Blog tour, and I just had no desire to pick it up. It was two days before my review was due, and I knew I had to give it a go. I was not expecting to fall in love with this story so much. I finished this in one sitting.
This story does deal with triggers such as loss, suicide, and mental illness. Kavita is mourning the loss of her brother (not a spoiler as it happens within the first page). Sunil has been battling mental health for some time, and his demons finally took over and won. He disappears and days later is found dead from an overdose.
This story is told in three parts: Fall, Crawl, and Rise. It was such a powerful story around loss and the effects ones actions can have on others. This is shown in several ways, and not just by the loss of Sunil. You really get a look into how loss can take a toll on a family. It shows the good and the bad. I really felt the emotions within the writing. The author had a great way of describing different aspects in the story.
Overall, this really surprised me and I definitely recommend it.
I had agreed to review this story for a Instagram/Blog tour, and I just had no desire to pick it up. It was two days before my review was due, and I knew I had to give it a go. I was not expecting to fall in love with this story so much. I finished this in one sitting.
This story does deal with triggers such as loss, suicide, and mental illness. Kavita is mourning the loss of her brother (not a spoiler as it happens within the first page). Sunil has been battling mental health for some time, and his demons finally took over and won. He disappears and days later is found dead from an overdose.
This story is told in three parts: Fall, Crawl, and Rise. It was such a powerful story around loss and the effects ones actions can have on others. This is shown in several ways, and not just by the loss of Sunil. You really get a look into how loss can take a toll on a family. It shows the good and the bad. I really felt the emotions within the writing. The author had a great way of describing different aspects in the story.
Overall, this really surprised me and I definitely recommend it.
July 8, 2019
You guys this one was tough but hopeful. I don’t read a lot of super serious fiction books but when I get in to one they just draw me in like nothing else. In Side by Side the author, Anita Kushwaha, writes so well that you really feel for the characters. .
When Kavita’s older brother, Sunil, dies she is devastated. When they learn that he took his own life, everything in her life starts to unravel. She needs to focus on her grief, but wants to help her parents and then her own marriage starts to suffer. Everyone handles grief and sadness in such different ways and after hitting her lowest point, she decides its time to find help. She reaches out to a bereavement group, where she meets Hawthorn, who she connects with because they both share so much pain. .
This story looks at grief differently, rather than just the five steps you are used to hearing about. I really felt for Kavita because so often we all feel alone and like we are the only one that has ever experienced something, but when you realize that you don’t have to go through it alone there is hope. You wish that the people closest to you can understand and help but sometimes you need to find support outside of your normal. .
After you read this one you will want to go hug everyone you love.
This book does have suicide so please be aware of that. .
When Kavita’s older brother, Sunil, dies she is devastated. When they learn that he took his own life, everything in her life starts to unravel. She needs to focus on her grief, but wants to help her parents and then her own marriage starts to suffer. Everyone handles grief and sadness in such different ways and after hitting her lowest point, she decides its time to find help. She reaches out to a bereavement group, where she meets Hawthorn, who she connects with because they both share so much pain. .
This story looks at grief differently, rather than just the five steps you are used to hearing about. I really felt for Kavita because so often we all feel alone and like we are the only one that has ever experienced something, but when you realize that you don’t have to go through it alone there is hope. You wish that the people closest to you can understand and help but sometimes you need to find support outside of your normal. .
After you read this one you will want to go hug everyone you love.
This book does have suicide so please be aware of that. .
July 12, 2019
3.5 stars.
In my opinion, books about intense loss are the hardest to review, but I will try my best. I don’t think this book will be for everyone, as can be said about all books. This was not a plot driven storyline, but involved more of an emotional journey. Side by Side doesn’t cover Sunil’s life or experiences that could have led to his decision to take his own life; instead, it covers the impact that it has on all of the survivors, especially his sister, Kavita. Losing a sibling, especially your only sibling, is life-changing and indescribably devastating. I have seen seen this impact firsthand when I lost my aunt two years ago. This book covers Kavita’s different stages of grief. Her questions, her survivor guilt, her loneliness… and in the end, her rediscovery, her growth, and her lessons on learning to live even though a part of her is missing. I think that this could be an important read for those that have experienced the loss of a loved one, especially suicide survivors.
Thank you tlcbooktours for my free review copy.
In my opinion, books about intense loss are the hardest to review, but I will try my best. I don’t think this book will be for everyone, as can be said about all books. This was not a plot driven storyline, but involved more of an emotional journey. Side by Side doesn’t cover Sunil’s life or experiences that could have led to his decision to take his own life; instead, it covers the impact that it has on all of the survivors, especially his sister, Kavita. Losing a sibling, especially your only sibling, is life-changing and indescribably devastating. I have seen seen this impact firsthand when I lost my aunt two years ago. This book covers Kavita’s different stages of grief. Her questions, her survivor guilt, her loneliness… and in the end, her rediscovery, her growth, and her lessons on learning to live even though a part of her is missing. I think that this could be an important read for those that have experienced the loss of a loved one, especially suicide survivors.
Thank you tlcbooktours for my free review copy.
January 1, 2020
Side by Side addresses the topic of suicide with grace and candor. Life feels impossible for Kavita after her brother's death. She is weighed down by grief, regret, abandonment, and a feeling of complete inadequacy. The prose is gut-wrenching and raw. It is also incredibly relatable; on several occasions, Side by Side left me in quiet tears over the lonely hell Kavita experienced after her brother, Sunil, ended his life. This masterpiece speaks as loudly to those who have lost a loved one to suicide as it does to those who have felt powerless to assist a friend, spouse, or peer in the wake of this kind of tragedy. Side by Side is a gem, a treasure of a book with a message the world desperately needs to hear.
June 12, 2020
Kavita is a happily married woman whose beloved older brother , Sunil, commits suicide. This starts a downward spiral. Her parents marriage, never good, begins to completely fracture. Her husband begins to distance himself, not understanding that this isnt an event someone "gets over". She cannot work. She has no one to discuss this with, since suicide is "shameful".
This book brought out so many emotions. I had a brother who died as a child (not suicide). At one point Kavita is trying to remind her parents that she too is their child and is still here. I experienced those same emotions. The same feeling of "did the wrong child die". After awhile people dont want to discuss it. Life should move on.
Kavita finds a support group and makes one particular friend who understands and can empathize. Her journey thru that was interesting to read
I really liked the ending. I was glad it went in the direction it did. It made a very poignant ending
This book brought out so many emotions. I had a brother who died as a child (not suicide). At one point Kavita is trying to remind her parents that she too is their child and is still here. I experienced those same emotions. The same feeling of "did the wrong child die". After awhile people dont want to discuss it. Life should move on.
Kavita finds a support group and makes one particular friend who understands and can empathize. Her journey thru that was interesting to read
I really liked the ending. I was glad it went in the direction it did. It made a very poignant ending
July 31, 2024
2 ⭐️⭐️
Although this is a book of fiction, it covers the devastation and experiences of family when a loved one passes away by their own will. I found this very hard to read. And not just because of the trauma and suffering, or perception of others on this subject. I just couldnt take the sadness and depression of the main character throughout the whole book. Not that I was expecting a happy ending, I just hoped there would be a better way to educate people on this subject without depressing them. The authors writing style was not to my liking and I found there was too much unnecessary detail and irrelevant filler that made me want to skim the pages to the end. Not worth reading imo
Although this is a book of fiction, it covers the devastation and experiences of family when a loved one passes away by their own will. I found this very hard to read. And not just because of the trauma and suffering, or perception of others on this subject. I just couldnt take the sadness and depression of the main character throughout the whole book. Not that I was expecting a happy ending, I just hoped there would be a better way to educate people on this subject without depressing them. The authors writing style was not to my liking and I found there was too much unnecessary detail and irrelevant filler that made me want to skim the pages to the end. Not worth reading imo
January 24, 2019
This book captured me from page one. I was totally drawn in, to the point where I literally could not put the book down. The author describes the characters in such an easy comprehensible way. She showed me a different culture and belief which was fascinating and real. This is an exceptional gentle read bringing the reader into the life of a grieving family and the effects loss has on each of them.
I highly recommend this book, not only to those suffering from loss or have suffered loss. This book will enlighten all.
I rate this book 5 out of 5.
I highly recommend this book, not only to those suffering from loss or have suffered loss. This book will enlighten all.
I rate this book 5 out of 5.
May 19, 2021
A moving book about grief, torment, acceptance and love. Loved that it was set in Ottawa and the places she mentions I’ve heard of or have even visited. Unfortunately, the frequent errors became a little frustrating and were reflective of poor editing, taking away from the author’s lyrical flow. I enjoyed the story so much though that it wasn’t enough to stop me from reading through.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews