Love and Friendship

by Alison Lurie

Explores the darker underside of higher education, the problems of seduction and adultery, and the consequences of scandal on a small New England campus

Genres: Fiction, The United States Of America, Literary Fiction, Novels, Roman, Contemporary, Satire

358 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1962

About the author

Alison Stewart Lurie was an American novelist and academic. She won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for her 1984 novel Foreign Affairs. Although better known as a novelist, she wrote many non-fiction books and articles, particularly on children's literature and the semiotics of dress.

Reviews

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

1962, her first novel.
Goodreaders seem to find Lurie [b 1926] outdated. Altho she is nearly a generation older than me, I still like all her books. They are light to read, yet share a lot of insight into people, and there's plenty you can think about.

Amherst College, Mass., is where Lurie's husband taught 1957-61. She changes the name, but it's that place. [And Amherst stayed men-only until 1970]
CLASS - lots of discussion and showing of class differences, the main character coming from a wealthy NYC family and her husband and most of the other characters from middle or lower middle class. We hear about the differences between them from both the husband and the wife; apparently they are not insurmountable.

Guilt is Power is one of those interesting subtopics. 347: "We all want to be guilty because guilt is power." It shows we affect others, that what we do matters. This is Miranda speaking, and although she is not the main character, she is prominent in the background, esp. of the love affair. Lurie clearly has something to say about people like Miranda:
"She listened, she interpreted -- reaarranging the bits and pieces they brought in. Advising them what to think and do, and then looking on while her words were made flesh, was her deepest pleasure." 278.

Another subtopic that appears in different forms:
"Virtue went unrewarded, vice unpunished. People got away with things." 310 This is the husband speaking.

The letter at the end of most of the chapters seems to be connected to Lurie's longtime friendship with a gay couple. Interesting bird's-eye comments on the whole scene.

I like Lurie's metaphor, giving voice to the common observation that certain men prefer a young woman they can mold:
"Emmy's obvious inexperience, even ignorance, of the ways of the world was all to the good. She was intelligent, ready to learn, and he could form her mind. In these matters, like many men, he preferred the damp clay to the Ming vase." 260

And how about this nice metaphor, very well put I think:
"As with most couples, they are like two people jumping out of an aeroplane clasped together, each believing the other to be a parachute." 292

[Lobstergirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lurie's 1962 novel takes us back to the time when professors were always men, and their wives housewives with lots of free time, which in this case leads to our protagonist Emmy (27 and already with a four-year-old child) having an affair with sexy, divorced Will Thomas of the music department. There's nothing wrong with her husband Holman, teacher in Humanities at Convers College, except that he never talks to her about his job, never wants to talk about anything intellectual, sees her as an ornament to his life, and is unconcerned about satisfying her in bed. Meeting Emmy for the first time, Holman found that

Emmy's obvious inexperience, even ignorance, of the ways of the world was all to the good. She was intelligent, ready to learn, and he could form her mind. In these matters, like many men, he preferred the damp clay to the Ming vase.

He had not been disappointed. Emmy today was, in the main, perfect; and a great deal of what she was was due to him. It was impossible that such a girl could be physically unfaithful.

Sex with Will is eye-opening, as they loll about in glades and on hillsides, in the New England snow and rain, on slimy leaves, Emmy being careful not to take her diaphragm with her too often (Holman might check the medicine cabinet). Emmy prepares to leave her marriage and take off with Will, even though Will and her son Freddy loathe each other, and Will has slapped Freddy (drawing from Emmy a rebuke to Freddy, not Will). Around this troika rotates a small cast of characters including the dean and his snobby wife who becomes suspiciously pregnant in middle age, a messy couple with what seems like ten children but is only three, Emmy's wealthy family, a gay professor whose role is mostly epistolary, and a garrulous cleaning woman.

The writing is solid, sometimes even clever:

"One might have thought that he was drunk, but it was common knowledge that though he sometimes assumed the manner and privileges of intoxication, he never took anything stronger than cream soda."

"Now he's trying poesy, and has apparently been taken up by the sinister element among the undergraduates, which is a miserable minority here. ...He left a great bundle of dog-eared mss. for me to "look at." I took a peek after supper - it turned out to be almost pure Vachel Sandburg. Magnificent cultural lag, literary and every other kind of innocence. Touching in a way, but stupefying."

[Berengaria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't believe it, but I'm actually going to lob an Alison Lurie novel into DNF limbo. *sob*

It's not that the prose is bad, it's just as good as it always is. And the setting and characters - academics and admin in a small college town in New England - are also vintage Lurie and some of what keeps us coming back for more.

So, what's forcing me to banish this to DNF hell? Two things.

A) the plot draaaaaags like a dog with missing hind legs.

B) the characters are far too stereotypical, too superficial, sans quirks that could pass for anything but 'mildly eccentric'. In short: they are as bland as syrup-less pancakes... even if wonderfully described pancakes.

"Love and Friendship" was Lurie's first novel, published in 1962. All the typical hallmarks are there, but the snap and crackle, the burning acid of discontent and societal critique that normally makes her plots/characters so fun, is missing. She wasn't there yet with her themes.

DNF. *sobs and wipes nose with Kleenex*

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Lurie's first novel is already sophisticated and savvy. It is domestic fiction set on a New England boy's college campus with stodgy faculty, bohemian types, a gay writer, and a spoiled rich young woman flirting with infidelity. Highly readable and the kind of book that presaged the modern age in so many ways.

[Elinor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently reread this novel after several decades. It is very retro in the sense that the characters are straight out of the 60s, and their language and behaviour reflects that, but it was a very enjoyable read. This is a true comedy of manners, defined as "a comedy that satirizes behavior in a particular social group, especially the upper classes." Alison Lurie is brilliant as skewering the youthful professors and their wives who inhabit a small, self-contained world at a smart New England college. The story revolves around an affair between two of these people, who come together more out of boredom than anything else. There isn't much action in Lurie's novels, but her characters are spot on.

[Eugenea Pollock · Rating 4 out of 5]

An adulterous love affair within the confines of a small, inbred New England academic community--an irresistible, amoral, incorrigible, serial philanderer--an incisive examination of the "lies" that bind--Lurie's novel, her first, does not disappoint--so glad I "found" her last year--this is my 7th or 8th literary trip with her--love 'em all; some more, some less.

[Samantha · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only character I liked was the dog...

[Diana Paulauskaite · Rating 2 out of 5]

Paprastai pradėjus skaityti ir įtarus, kad knyga nepatiks, perdaug netęsiu gumos ir metu ją į šiukšlių dėžę. Tiesą sakant, iš tikrųjų norėčiau kadanors imti ir išmesti nuvylusią knygą, bet bibliotekos abonementas neleidžia.

Love and Friendship sudomino viršeliu (leidimas kitas nei Goodreads rodo). Ten toks išdaužtas langas pavaizduotas, jis nutviekstas vakarinio dangaus ir dar neaiškus juodas siluetas atsispindi jame. Tikėjausi, gal koks detektyvinis momentas bus, gal kažkas kažką užmuš, įdomu gi.

Siužetas vystosi lėtai. Einama link kažkokio atviro konflikto, bręsta kažkas, marinuojasi. Ir tada nieko neatsitinka iki pat paskutinio puslapio. Nesupraskit neteisingai – ir paskutiniam puslapy nieko neatsitinka. Ta prasme, visiškai nieko tik lievas meilės trikampis, lievi žmonės ir lievos draugystės. Rašytoja vėliau sukurtu savo darbu laimės Pulitzerio premiją, bet šitas romanas labiau panašus į kūrybinio rašymo treniruotę, privedusią mane prie tokios mažai kam girdėtos išvados, bet vis dėlto išvados – nereikia spręsti apie knygą iš viršelio, Diana, nereikia.

[Ella Brady · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable!

[Seonad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't get the poor reviews of this book as although a bit cringey squirmy at times (maybe the era it was written in) I thought it was highly entertaining.

[Nikki Mcgee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book and the more that I think about it the more I think it should be 5 stars.

It is the story of a woman who falls out of love with her husband and finds comfort in the arms of a lothario music professor. Sharing a name with a Jane Austen novel this is a modern story of manners and social pleasantries. Beautifully observed with well crafted characters.

The ending is bitter sweet, actually it is mostly bitter. The lead character "settles" for a life time of 4% love rather than 100% and short lived passion. It makes you reflect on your own relationship choices and whether you have made the right ones.

There are some great one liners in the book reminiscent of Austen.

There are very few surprises but rather than being disappointing this just demonstrates how well developed the characters are as you can predict how they will react in different situations with accuracy.

I can't wait to read more Alison Lurie books.

[Artie LeBlanc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book - even more so than Foreign Affairs, which I read a few months ago.
Although the book is very much of its period, it ages very gracefully. The characters - a full cast - are very fully rounded, and the New England academic setting feels very authentic. The conversations are credible, the homes beautifully described and recognisable. Add to this a plausible plot, and sympathetic sides to even the most flawed characters, and it makes for a fine read. I am sorry it is over!
I rather liked the device of the visiting academic, fulfilling the role of the Greek chorus.

[Karl]

CLASSICS

[Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember picking this book up based on it's setting and finishing it just for the sake of finishing it.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved that it was so woman-centered and that she was passionate.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alison Lurie's first novel. The themes that she will continue to explore for the rest of her career are already clear : campus and academic life, adultery, acerbic observation of people's folly. The story centers around Emmy Turner, who, in the late 1950s, is the bored, even discontented, wife of a young college instructor. Emmy is a bit of a heiress - one could say she has married beneath her. And while this protects her from having to live solely on Holman's salary, or to stay in dingy department housing, or even from being intimidated by the powerful wife of the department's dean, it does make her sensitive to the intellectual and practical limitations of a small campus town. While around her the teaching staff of Convers College in Massachusetts bicker and feud and form alliances and worry about their dissertations and their classes, Emmy starts yearning for something more exciting than the husband who takes her for granted, her young son, and her talkative housekeeper. So she stumbles into an affair with another academic, the creatively stalled composer Julian. Their efforts to keep the affair secret are only partly successful and at some point Emmy decides to "return to her parents" as a first step towards divorcing Holman and marrying Julian. Due to unexpected campus events, this has to be postponed, and it's at that point that Emmy begins to realize that life with the skirt-chasing Julian might have its own disenchantments.

As I said: typical themes for Alison Lurie. In this, her first novel, her touch is not quite as deft as it would later be. There are long and repeated passages, for instance, in which the illicit lovers meet in fields or parked cars, and during which the dialog is the sort of nonsense that besotted couples speak to each other - not exactly interesting reading. She has also used the literary trick of including letters from a Visiting Novelist at Convers College (modeled on her real-life friend, the poet James Merrill) to his absent boyfriend. I guess these were intended to provide a third-party view on the shenanigans at Convers College, in a wry, detached voice, or even help the action along by revealing connections not immediately clear to Emmy, Holman, Julian, or their mutual friends, the bohemian Fenns. I don't think it worked all that well; much of the information given in these letters was either irrelevant or redundant.

Still, a solid two-and-a-half.

[Andy Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Alison Lurie's first novel, written in 1962, is truly traveling back in time. The story is set on a small,isolated Northeastern college campus and tells of faculty politics, extramarital affairs, while reflecting the realities and social values of the time. There are no women professors, but the social skills of faculty wives are a factor in gaining tenure. While there is a certain tolerance for a man's indiscretions, a woman's reputation would be ruined by any hint of impropriety which makes the absence of birth control pills and cell phones so relevant, if also at times baffling to the modern reader.
The novel's first sentence sets the tone for both the plot and writing style. "The day on which Emily Stockwell Turner fell out of love with her husband began much like other days." Emily comes from a wealthy family whose men have all gone to the all male Convers college while Emily went to exclusive girl's schools, her husband, Holman, is from a modest background and truly enjoys his first professorship at Convers, not unaware of the family connection that may have helped him get his job.
The domestic and faculty life that Holman loves starts to chafe at Emily who is frustrated by the town's isolation and limited opportunities for bright women. She also resents Holman's condescending attitude towards others including the Fenns, a faculty couple that seems to struggle with everything in life from physical appearance to raising children to faculty politics and tenure track. So Emily is vulnerable to the calculating charm of Will Thomas, a music professor whose well known flirtations and affairs distract him from his own professional burnout. The story continues with an interesting plot but more important, a fascinating picture of a time past by

[Poornima Vijayan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Lurie is a secret I want to hold dear and something I want to scream from rooftops because she truly deserves more recognition. I feel the whole of the literary world has forgotten this amazing author who can write with such wit and institution.

Love and Friendship is her first book and is set in Convers, a college town. Emmy is the rich, beautiful, young wife of Holman who teaches at Convers. And she's bored, has an affair, is confused, is certain.. you name it. The premise is delicious. But what's truly beautiful is how Lurie's characters are all grey. No one is truly fully likeable and in the way she writes about them, is the whole beauty.

A 4 star rating mainly because I feel I owe it to her.

[Lorri Steinbacher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this because I had just finished the book she wrote about James Merrill who was the basis for a character in this book. A tale of adultery in the gossipy atmosphere of a college community. Good, if a little soapy, read. Some great recognizable characters.

[Jeremy Bateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved her 1985 'Foreign Affairs' and have at last got round to reading another of hers - her 1st, but very mature, 1962 campus novel, picked up at Oxfam. Well delineated characters in at least slightly dysfunctional academic families. An easy and engrossing middlebrow read.

[Roslyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just couldn't get into this book. Tedious and dated. I read a lot of North American women writers in the late '70s, and I've returned to some of them, but this one hasn't stood the test of time. I gave up before finishing.

[Jo Birkett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saved by the ending which was interesting, after a tiresome middle with too much of spoilt little rich girl, so I'm pleased I ploughed through. As usual I hope she doesn't settle for either of them but becomes single. Putting it down to 4* though as won't read again.

[Penny · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a VRBO find and I always hope for serendipity. Engrossing and worthy topic (married love vs. extramarital love). Fairly well written. But could never pinpoint the era- 50s or 60s? Now may read her Pulitzer book.

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't like it.
A few pages into this book I began to have my doubts and looked into the 1-star-reviews here and knew that there is no need for me to go on with this book.
Maybe next time I should look into the reviews here before I buy a book....

[David]

Alison Lurie's first novel, an American College novel of the early 60s. Surprises me somewhat in how many aspects of life as a low-status university instructor remain more or less the same. Lots of dry humour.

[Emma Anbeek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but not great

[Susannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little bit racy, much to explore in terms of how humans work, good, meaty, quite irksome characters, this novel stands the test of time.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the academic setting and time period, but each of these characters are more despicable than the next.

[Harry Wingfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Lurie's first novel. It was a bit tedious to read. I like her later books much better.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Superb! 4.5 ⭐️