The Colors Between Us

Lonely Hearts #2

by Kate Hawthorne

Roland Wilson is a haunted man.


A decade since his last successful gallery showing, Roland’s life has crumbled. Imprisoned by his own mind and taunted daily by painful memories, he finds his only comfort in drinking. With a life that has devolved into nothing brighter than variants of gray, he sees little point in his existence when a delivery boy with eyes of inspirational blue shows up at his door.

Adonis Smith wants something he can’t have.


In his mind, Adonis lives up to his name. He’s six-feet tall and built like a god, but in reality he’s just Donny—a short, nothing-special twink that no one takes seriously in or out of bed. Then he meets Roland, a beautiful, yet brash, struggling artist who is consumed by his own shortcomings. Donny knows he shouldn’t get involved with the handsome and tempestuous man, but the more Donny sees of him, the more he wants Roland to be his...for good.

A mutual inspiration.


As the feelings between the two men develop into something colorful and vibrant, it seems each has finally found what he needs. When Roland enters a spiral of self-destruction, it derails his relationship with Donny and sends them both into a tailspin. On their own, each man will need to decide if he is strong enough to stand beside the other and face the future together.


Will they be able to rediscover the best parts of each other before the colors between them fade for good?




The Colors Between us addresses what it's like to live with depression and may be triggering for some readers.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Mental Health, LGBT, Ebooks, Gay

266 pages, ebook

First published April 8, 2018

About the author

With over two dozen published romances to her name, Kate Hawthorne has built a recognizable brand around telling emotional stories that pack a figurative (and sometimes literal) punch.

Existing on a steady diet of wine and coffee, Kate spends her days dreaming up angsty stories full of heat, kink, and heart. Kate now lives in Louisville, where she writes romance, reads romance, and hides from the humidity.

Visit her website at http://www.katehawthornebooks.com

Reviews

[~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~ · Rating 2 out of 5]

The plot goes something like this: drink vodka straight from the bottle, paint with blue, destroy canvas in shame and frustration, drink vodka, fuck, fight, vodka, attempt to take care of cat, FAIL at cat care, fight, fuck, paint, fight, vodka, scream in agony, fuck, cat, vodka, fuck, fight, fuck.

Talk about overwraught. There was way too much sex, and the depression aspect, while not sugarcoated, seemed too dramatic.

I skipped every single sex scene 😲 and almost DNF@50%, but decided to skim the rest. There was more fucking but less fighting, then HEA.

Maybe it's me? I'm having a shit reading week.

[Akknieszka · Rating 5 out of 5]

'You're a good thing in a sea of not good things.' ❤

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Possible Triggers: Depression, Alcoholism
You might say that this story gives us a view of life's uglier parts. Roland and Donny...so perfect yet so different. I wasn't going into this book completely blind, there's a trigger warning at the beginning of this book and it sets the stage for what you are going to encounter...but it doesn't tell you how many feelings, both good and bad, you will have for these two men.

Roland is a famous artist that can no longer paint. He no longer feels any passion for his art...and spends most of the day in a vodka bottle. Roland's pain is very real, and it is very real for many real people...for some folks this will be a difficult, if not impossible, read.... but if you can get through these hurdles, you will discover that it also is a very fulfilling one.

While Roland is a fictional character, and his situation is fictional, it's also real everyday life for some...but it shows that it's okay to trust in the love that someone else has for you. Adonis, (Donny), is sweet, patient, and caring. He was Roland's "everything". Not only did he help Roland realize the important things in life, but he found a few missing parts of himself as well. He learned what it meant...and how it felt, to love someone completely...even the parts that were slowly destroying them. He was confident enough to know what that he was worth Roland getting his life together for and he wasn't going to settle for anything less...and he didn't.

The two of them don't start out easy but they had enough passion between them to set the world on fire. That passion sometimes led to hurt, but it also led to love, and it led to Roland accepting his limits and then pushing himself beyond them. It allowed two very passionate but hurting men to find themselves individually as well as with one another.

[Eugenia · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF @ 26%.....All I was getting from this was a tortured alcoholic artist who drinks vodka and destroys his work, and a demanding delivery guy making ultimatums to a near stranger. I couldn’t continue in this vein.

The Stars were for the solid narration by Kenneth Obi, although, even he, couldn’t save this mess of a story.

[Ayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked Donny's character and how forward he was.. However, it was hard for me to sympathize with Roland. I really enjoyed this authors last book, His Kind of Love, and definitely recommend it to everyone!

I want to preface this by saying that this book got a ton of great reviews (so do not let this review steer you away!!) and I can see why a lot of people would like it.. but, I just could not get into this story for some reason. I did not feel really connected to the two MCs getting together. The writing was good, but there was just something missing for me to want these characters together and to keep reading. The part of the book that spoke to me most was a flashback with one MC and an ex. I know I would regret dnf-ing a book so I ended up skimming from about 30% towards the end.

There was a character that popped up a few times and I am wondering if we will get his story, if we do I will definitely be reading it! As I said before, I think this was a 'it's not you, it's me' sort of situation.

[Chris, the Dalek King · Rating 2 out of 5]

I went into this book really looking forward to it. It had some really good reviews on Goodreads, and even if having to read another book with a more dark/depressing tone right after my last book was not something to excite me I figured that at least the fate of the world was not going to be under fire in this one.

But man…this book. It was not good.

First off, there is not a whole lot of plot here, and so it had no real forward momentum for large stretches of the book. Basically Donny (a delivery man) meets Roland (an artist), finds him totally fuckable, they fuck, Roland drinks, Donny throws a fit and leaves…and then he comes back, finds Roland fuckable and then the whole thing starts all over again. The only real variable being how often and when Roland decides to drink (oh, and every so often Roland will go Psycho all over his paintings, to spice things up, I guess).

Roland is pretty much the sum total of every “tortured artist” cliche rolled together and stuffed in a vodka bottle. Donny is…well I found him to be a possessive, controlling idiot, whose life goal is to be something but heaven help me I can’t remember if he ever actually said what it was.

Oh, and Pete is Donny’s cat. We like Donny’s cat. We pretty much only like Donny’s cat.

So Roland the tortured artist and Donny the delivery guy fight and fuck and…nothing else really happens. Don’t get me wrong, I adore a good character piece that revolves around the struggles of falling in love…but this was so incredibly tedious. Neither of the characters were likable. Roland is a depressed alcoholic who is a bit too fond of taking knives to his possessions, Donny is the idiot who for some reason stays with him even though he a) has just met the guy like 24 hrs ago and b) has proof that Roland can’t be trusted.

To be frank, a lot of my issues with this book have to do with the fact that I didn’t like Donny. While I get being in a relationship with an alcoholic, especially one dealing with depression that edges into violence at times, is not easy, I never once got the feeling that Donny wanted to be with Roland because he liked him. I got the feeling that Donny is only with Roland because his is hot and famous.

“He’s cute,” Athena whispered once Roland was out of the room.

“I know,” Donny said, nodding. “I wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t.”

_____

Look, I’ve been inside the guy who painted that,” Donny chuckled and pressed a kiss to Roland’s shoulder.

Donny also seems to want to be the one to step in and “save” Roland…just enough to ingratiate himself to the guy, but not enough that Roland doesn’t need him anymore.

Even if they were to reconcile in the future, how could Donny even allow it, seeing how much stronger Roland was on his own?

_____

He couldn’t bear to have confirmation of Roland’s well being, and he hated himself for that. Of course he wanted Roland happy and healthy. But he wanted Roland happy, and healthy, and in his life.

I also found myself deeply uncomfortable with how so many of their talks about their relationship revolved around the word “deserve.” More specifically what Donny deserves. Or how Roland doesn’t deserve Donny. Or what Roland is going to do to fix himself so he deserves him. While I think it is ok to believe you deserve respect from your partner, the way deserve is used in a lot of these context goes beyond that, I feel. It started to feel like Roland owed Donny simply for Donny being in his life. For Donny putting up with his shit. For Donny helping him make decisions. It didn’t quite cross the line into abusive behavior…but there was some definite red flags popping up. It probably wouldn’t have bugged me so much if it only happened once or twice…but it happened over and over and over. Nearly 40 instances of it. That is worrying.

There were also the weird bits where it felt like the book was hinting at an incestuous something between Donny and his sister, Athena, when they were growing up. At first I thought my imagination was just running away from me, but the book hints at it several times, and it gets creepier each time.

Donny closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch. He’d been drawing for years. He started sketching the arches of Athena’s high heels when they were both teenagers. There was something about the elegance and grace of the lines that had spoken to him. He’d gone from sketching her shoes to sketching her legs, then realized he shouldn’t be drawing his sister, so he started people watching at the park and drawing everyone he could.

_____

“Look at my big sister, all domestic,” Donny laughed, grabbing a slice of tomato from the cutting board. Athena swatted at his hand and glared at him.

“I’ll domesticate you,” she said to him.

“What does that even mean? That sounds a little too kinky, Athena. You are my sister.”

_____

“Anyway,” she continued, as if he hadn’t even spoken. “You were so upset when we got home from school, and you threw a huge temper tantrum on your bed, so I crawled in behind you and let you cry about it and curse me about it, then mom and dad walked in.”

Donny’s cheeks heated at the memory.

“They were so furious,” she went on. “Screaming and yelling about incest and shit.”

Donny couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Athena laughed behind him, then quieted down.

“Maybe fifteen and sixteen was too old for sibling snuggles,” Donny said soberly.

“Then what is twenty-two and twenty-three?” She asked him with more humor in her voice.

“Illegal, probably.”

They laughed again briefly and fell back into silence.

“Thank you, Athena.”

“For what?” She laid her head on top of his.

“Trying to distract me.”

“Is that what you think I was doing?” She asked, pushing herself up to a sitting position.

“Wasn’t it?” Donny sat as well, but curled himself into a ball at the other corner of the couch.

“God, no. I was just reminiscing on that time mom and dad thought we were fucking.”

I just…I can’t be the only one that finds that weird and not a little creepy. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why it is in this book. It has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. I’m not sure why the author included it. Did she want Donny to come off as a creeper? Why, I ask you? Why?!

This book was so maddening in the choices it made. Both of them acted like they’ve been in a relationship for years, but they haven’t known each other for more than a couple weeks (though the first time it happens, I think they’ve known each other maybe 24 hours, which is even more insane). I honestly couldn’t figure out why Donny stayed at first. He entrusted his sick cat to a total stranger, and when Roland gets drunk and endangers Pete, Donny is rightly pissed…but then still fucks him? Why would he stay? Except, I started to think, that Roland being such a fucking mess was exactly what Donny wanted.

There were parts of this book that I liked–the use of color in describing the things that Roland was feeling–but man was this book chock full of issues for me. I came away deeply uncomfortable about the power dynamics in this relationship, and wouldn’t be all that shocked if a year down the line Roland finds himself right where he was at the beginning of this book, only now with an abusive ass-hat for a boyfriend as well. It never really felt like any of the changes Roland made in his life were for himself. Only for Donny. Always for Donny. Anything for Donny.

And that is deeply troubling.


This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.

[♡❀✦☞ Sammy ☜✦❀♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars!

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Der Künstler Roland lebt von dem Geld vergangener Erfolge. Und diese liegen wirklich schon sehr lange zurück. Gemalt hat er schon lange nichts mehr, denn die Inspiration ist ihm verloren gegangen. Trost findet er nur noch im Alkohol, auch wenn er sich selbst nicht als Alkoholiker sieht. Dabei bräuchte Roland eine Therapie und seine Medikamente, denn er ist auch hochgradig depressiv.

Adonis, der jedoch lieber Donny genannt wird, arbeitet bei einem Lieferdienst und lernt so den mysteriösen Roland kennen. Donny ist fasziniert von dem Mann und schafft es sich in sein Leben zu schummeln. Doch Donny erkennt auch sehr schnell, dass Roland Probleme hat. Sehr viele Probleme. Und er fragt sich, ob der Mann Roland all diesen Ärger auch wert ist.

Es ist keine einfache Geschichte, denn Roland ist ein sehr komplexer Charakter. Er wird gut beleuchtet, bekommt viel Platz und Raum. Leider geht dabei Donny ein wenig unter. Der ist wunderbar. Energisch, voller Zuversicht und sehr praktisch. Er will Roland helfen. Und er scheint nicht aufzugeben. Doch wie soll man jemand helfen, dem nicht zu helfen ist? Oder der sich einfach auch nicht helfen lassen will!

Roland trägt viele Altlasten mit sich herum. Diese belasten sein Gemüt, aber auch die aufkeimende Beziehung zu Donny, den er immer irgendwie auf Distanz halten will. Den Grund dafür erfährt man gegen Ende der Geschichte, wo sie einen drastischen Bruch zwischen den Helden erlebt.
Doch dieser Bruch ist eine Art Erweckung für Roland und endlich kriegt er seinen versoffenen Hintern hoch. Man nimmt ihm diese Entwicklung auch ab, da es ja auch schon zuvor Anzeichen der Besserung und des guten Willens gab. Einzig der Geist und die Selbstzweifel waren zu schwach und gleichzeitig zu stark.

Insgesamt fand ich das Buch jedoch sehr gut. Auch weil hier die Rollen ein wenig vertauscht waren. Denn obwohl Roland als körperlich überlegen beschrieben wird, verhält er sich eher devot und das spielte sich auch bei ihren Aktivitäten im Bett wider. Donny hingegen ist eher ein Twink, der jedoch ganz genau sagt wer hier den Ton und die Richtung angibt.

[Joyfully Jay]

It is true that the more issues the MC in a book has and the more a character may struggle, the more I will be attracted to the book. Roland certainly has his issues, and while they definitely consume him, for me this book wasn’t overly dark but depicted someone with depression and mental health issues that were not easy to overcome.

Roland used to be a well-known painter and was successful for years. His art tended to take over and his boyfriends wanted more of his attention and didn’t seem to really understand Roland. After his last break up, which was years ago at this point, Roland spiraled down into self-loathing and self-doubt and hasn’t painted anything he has liked in many years. His only companion is the vodka bottle and his own self-deprecating thoughts. A little color comes back into his life when he meets Donny, but there is certainly a rough road ahead for them.

Donny is just living his life. He has some friends and a sister he is close to, but romance for Donny hasn’t been working out. He’s a smaller guy and finds people don’t take him seriously when he likes to take charge. Roland sees Donny, and Roland wants Donny to take over, but Roland has quite a lot to sort out.

The men enter into a sexual relationship fairly quickly and that is how they communicate best to start. Roland is fairly numb when they meet. He’s depressed and often drunk and can’t find his way out. He does want to get better and takes steps to do that, but it certainly doesn’t happen overnight, he has set backs, and as much as he wants to be with Donny, he’s jealous and volatile when he feels things slipping away. He hasn’t figured out how to talk to Donny and Donny has a limit to how he will let himself be treated.

Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.

[Abrianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm pretty sure I cried at least five buckets worth of tears over this book. The Colors Between Us is everything and then some. If you don't want to feel, deeply, then don't read this book. That's all I have to say about that.

Kate Hawthorne didn't just give us a book. She gave us life. She gave us the ugly parts of life and she makes no apologies for it and I am just...I'm speechless. This woman took my soul, splattered it across the pages of this book, and then lit them on fire. And I liked it. Yes, yes I did.

Roland and Donny do not have an easy go of things. I do not recommend this book to you unless you have about six hours to read and a whole box of tissues. It's just that good y'all.

I wasn't going into this book completely blind, there's a small trigger warning at the beginning of this book. It helps set the stage for what you might encounter, but of course you don't know until you actually read. The pain that Roland suffers is real and it lives inside real people and my heart broke and re-broke for him.I could feel every single emotion and ounce of pain that Roland did as if it were my own. It made for a very difficult read. It also made for a very fulfilling one.

How can I say that? How can I go and talk about how intense this book is but also say that it's lovely and fulfilling and so damn perfect in all it's flawed glory at the same time?

Simple: it's necessary.

Because while Roland is fiction, while his situation is fiction it's also life. And there's a beautiful type of hope reading about the same things you're going through and seeing that it is possible to be okay. Never great maybe, never one hundred percent probably, but okay enough to trust in the love someone else has for you.

Adonis, sweet, patient, caring Donny. He was just everything. Not only did he help Roland realize the important things in life. But he found himself as well. He found what it meant to love someone wholly. He knew what he was worth and he wasn't settling for less. He didn't settle for less.

The passion between the two explodes across the page.

That passion led to more. It lead to hurt, it lead to love, it lead to Roland accepting his limits and then exceeding them. It lead to two very passionate yet hurting men finding themselves individually and with each other. Donny might not have been the one hurting as deeply as Roland, but he was still hurting. It showed in all his actions.

Kate Hawthorne, I hate you. You broke me. I don't think I'll ever been the same. Thank you for that. This book is so important and it's so needed today.

[Sue bowdley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've not read many books dealing with depression...Roland broke my heart multiple times....I just wanted to hug him tight all the time....Donny was just the right kind of pushy...Taking what he wanted but what Roland needed to give.....They really are a good match....I love books where the smaller of the two is the more dominant one...Donny's dominance was amazing.....Jut shows you can't judge a book by it's cover.....Meeting Gabriel and Joel (again( I will say here that I asked to know more of Gabriel and Joel until I was told that they were from His Kind Of Love...Which I loved)).......Roland is trying to live his life but it's not easy for him and it's hard to see how he struggles but he ended up doing the right thing for himself and for Donny...He got his painting back....Donny really helped him but he also helped himself...This author is becoming a firm favourite of mine and i'll look forward to more x

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donnie (don't call him Adonis) has a full life, his sister, 3 cats. He looks like a twink. Which causes a few issues, but he sets guys straight right away. He is the top in the relationship. Doesn't matter if he's not tall or big, he calls the shots. Overall a busy full happy life, then he meets Roland.

Roland is an artist, no longer able to paint. He doesn't know if it's the vodka, depression or just because he doesn't deserve it anymore. Childish drunken tantrums seem to be his only outlet. Then he meets Donnie and Pete the cat.

Their path is full of broken canvases and uncertainty. Roland is sure he doesn't deserve the the happiness of Donnie and painting. Donnie wants Roland but not the turmoil he brings to the relationship.

I've never associated a book to a color before. It started with Roland obsessively trying to find the right shade of blue. At the time not realizing why he needed to find it so bad. I could see it as it flowed through the pages. Sometime just a wisp of color, other times wide swathes. And as an added bonus the cover is phenomenal.

Don't let this one pass you by because it deals with depression. It's a beautiful book.

I received an ARC of this book from the author.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ... fine? I think the depiction of depression was pretty well done based on experiences I've had with people who deal with it, but the rest was just okay. Some of it was questionable and the writing is not more than okay so ... it was fine.

[Sylvia · Rating 2 out of 5]

2☆


My favorite character was Pete
I just didn't like the Mc's that much
there was just too much sex for my liking
I liked Roland and Donny painting together and that's it
Athena and Adonis I dunno but those names #ugh
this story was just not for me

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars is not enough
Review on release day

Jedna z najlepszych książek, jakie czytałam w tym roku. Pełna niespodzianek. Pełna emocji. Brudna, seksowna. Depresja jest jedną z najgorszych chorób obecnego świat. Niesamowita !!!
Polecam jak najszybciej przeczytać tą książkę!!! WARTO

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty spot on

If you've ever dealt with anyone either being treated (or not) for depression. It took me back to when I took care of my sister who had bipolar.
I was extremely glad it ended the way it did... Things could have been so different.

[Nica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that had me curious about every character in the book, even the secondary ones. Even if they were present for a couple of paragraphs in the page, like sketches in Donny's book, each person made a strong enough impression that I want to hear their stories. But this book is about Donny and Roland, two men who are by all appearances, opposites, but end up being as complimentary to each other as red and green in a color wheel. Roland is tall, rich and successful as an artist, even if he hasn't created anything in almost ten years, while Donny (Adonis) is still trying to find his path in his art, and makes ends meet as a delivery person. Roland meets Donny during a routine delivery, and though he can't remember why, he's suddenly haunted by a gorgeous color blue, which propels him to paint. Donny, on the other hand, is absolutely gobsmacked by Roland's beauty (and rudeness) and can't help but feel a strong sexual attraction for the taciturn artist. Their second meeting goes somewhat better, and with the help of a little fuzzball, their fascination and attraction to each other only grows. I found their relationship to be very intense, practically explosive. There was a lot of fierce emotions surrounding Donny and Roland, which at times surprised me and made me feel insecure about their motives, because having a strong attraction for somebody doesn't guarantee a happy relationship, and it was obvious from the very beginning that Donny REALLY wanted Roland, and Roland just wanted to feel good and forget his pain. I appreciated and respected very much the fact that Roland's mental illness is not prettified, as many times, artistic characters are painted as poor suffering geniuses whose horrible behavior must be always excused because they make pretty things. I had an emotional experience with these guys, because I was able to relate to them, with how bare and unworthy depression can make a person, and how to find support but at the same time uphold yourself. Roland is depressed and having a lover isn't going to cure him. I really appreciated that his depression is presented in a realistic manner, how this illness can make life seem so bare and worthless, no matter how rich, handsome, sexy or talented a person is. Donny isn't a cure-all for Roland, but he wants to be his partner and support him through his bad times, but even better, Donny knows himself and what he is worth and will exact his value in the relationship without sacrificing their love for each other, while Roland has to learn to let go and take responsibility for his health. It is intense, and beautiful, and at times very sad. It is a tribute to the author's talent that I found myself not taking sides with any of the characters, because I could see how their relationship affected them and felt sympathy for them, even with the past relationships, because how can we judge a person's worth against another? What one individual chooses for their own health may look like cruelty to another, but at the end we all should take responsibility for our actions. Roland and Donny are made for each other, and they see each other as they are, not as their own needs paint them to be, and that's all Donny and Roland need for their happy ending, to see each other's pains and flaws, and still love and rejoice in each other's company. Overall, it was an intense, emotional read, but it left me with a happy hopeful feeling for these beautiful men and their relationship.

[SaDeAn · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75/5

Everyone gets quarter stars this week!

I was hesitant going into The Colors Between Us given that it had less than amazing reviews when compared with some of the others from Kate Hawthorne’s Lonely Hearts series. However, I should have feared not as the good stuff is delivered. While not my favorite of the books I’ve read so far from Hawthorne, I did enjoy this one a great deal.

The complaints of others that I am acknowledging and indicating that meh, I don’t care include: lots of sex (yup. That’s a thing in these books.), more sex (see previous point), lots of drinking (yup. That’s a thing here and I’ll get to my thoughts on this more later), and people acting nutty (this is now my unofficial clinical term *wink*). These points are being disregarded because they seem to be predictable to a large extent based on this author’s writing style and what the book blurb states. Moving along people...

What I found more worth complaining critiquing is that Roland’s healing is only really discussed in terms of his depression and not at all really in terms of his substance abuse. For those who are not familiar with mental health, illness, etc. this is what a co-occurring (previously termed “dual”) diagnosis looks like. The diseases feed each other. They become more complicated to treat. If Roland came to see me, I’d be thinking to myself “self, this man needs some detox”. It is a lot easier for someone to start their medication and stick with it if they are not also battling the negative thoughts that come from substance abuse. I digress. Mainly, I just wish sweet Roland sought help for both in a more clear way.

I read one review that remarked about how negative and, even, self-pitying Roland can be. I found this to be a fairly accurate portrayal of the experience of Major Depressive Disorder. Imagine having those thoughts constantly and (we tell ourselves) uncontrollably. It is clear to see how someone truly is suffering from depression. But! If mood disorder stuff is not your jam, then you might want to make like a banana and split from this one. We all have preferences. I happen to enjoy well-done books that touch on mental and or physical health issues and found this to be a strong description of that experience (remembering said caveat noted above for the record).

What I am giving a million stars for are the amazing Easter eggs. I wish I had known! I did not know until this book really and truly how much all these Lonely Hearts novels were going to overlap. I loved it. I loved glimpsing characters from other books, though that not taking away from this story, but rather gave those who had read those books a fun moment of wink, wink, nudge, nudge from the author. Those moments are my favorites. I am delighted to read more from Hawthorne for just that experience alone.

I really liked Donny and am rooting for him and Roland to continue to make beautiful music, I mean art together!

Xoxo

Available on KU

Happy Reading!

[Nese's reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tempestuous and volatile, unpredictable and self deprecating.
Roland has all of the above traits and more...
He is a tempremental artist that lives in his head constantly, and has to battle with his self worth.
Unable to paint anymore, he has become a recluse and needs drink to help him through the day.
Not recognising his need for help has left him at the mercy of his depressive thoughts.
His life has become very dark , everyone and everything surrounded by shades of grey.
At his lowest Roland answers his front door, and a burst of blue enters his life...

Adonis (Donny), arrives at Roland's door to deliver him yet more supplies.
He is suprised at the man that answers the door,
he is possibly the most beautiful man that Donny has ever seen.
He may be only small but Donny is strong and possessive in all the ways needed.
He needs a way in with Roland, and a chance encounter with his cat helps with that.

When they get together it's fireworks, it's all hot, angry sex .
Unable to communicate openly they use sex to express their feelings of
anger, frustration, and sorrow.
Roland feels unworthy of Donny and does not want to drag him down into his darkness.
Donny tries his best to make him realise what a great artist Roland is,
but he is struggling with the unpredictable moods, and temper.

Will Donny manage to help Roland realise his self worth ?
Will Roland's abandonment issues color his judgment of Donny?
Is a relationship even possible on such unstable grounds?

l need to say how much l enjoyed reading this story,
the author gives so much depth to the storyline and each character
that l feel like l know them personally.
Such beautiful writing , so much emotion, it will capture your heart for sure.
A rare and very touching book.
l am looking forward to reading so much more from this author.

[Amy Dufera - Amy's MM Romance Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. The Color Between Us grabbed my interest on page one and never let it go. Every single second of this book is just amazing.

Be warned. This is not your normal romance. This involves a deeply broken man and it is not an easy read.

Roland is a famous painter, but he is broken. He can't paint and he is spiraling out of control. He spends his days drinking vodka and doing not much else.

Donny is annoyed by Roland when they meet. He is pissed at him for the way he is living his life. And he is attracted to Roland. Absolutely attracted to him. But he makes it his passion to dominate Roland and help him heal.

Roland is so damn stubborn, as well an extremely complicated. And Donny is far more patient than almost anyone would ever be. But, together, they just might be able to help Roland live again, and to help Donny find his true artistic talent. And love. If they work hard enough for it.

One thing that is tough for me is Donny's desire to try to help and stay. It is hard to understand exactly why he would do so. It is obviously essential to the story, but it is hard for me to relate to why he would do so.

Honestly, The Colors Between Us is a remarkable book. The author does a fantastic and realistic job of painting depression and how it can affect one's relationships, work and life. It is not an easy read, but it is a great read. The difficult times in this book are at the true heart of this story. Thus, despite being tough to read, it is a fantastic journey and well worth doing do. And, along the way you will experience great passion, great sadness and a larger than life love story.

[J.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Not going to lie: At times, this book was hard to read because I saw so much of myself in Roland. Hawthorne depicts both the lows of how depression can mess with a person’s mind and the emotional pain that can accompany loving such a person. My depression has always come with a healthy dose of anxiety, but many of Roland’s ordeals are familiar nonetheless, such as the blandness of life, how easy it is to stop medication once it causes you to feel better, and even losing my art. However, Hawthorne walks that fine line between allowing the reader to sympathize with Roland but not necessarily empathize with him. He’s not a tragic hero; he’s a person struggling with a mental illness and leaning into self-destructive habits.

But that doesn’t mean such people are undeserving of love. As the fellow parent of three Siamese cats, I was already predisposed to like Donny. I adored him, though, for how he cared for Roland, then loved him, and still stuck to his limits when Roland’s worst habits came close to destroying their burgeoning relationship. My heart broke for him in the dark moment even as I supported him in prioritizing his emotional health.

The end of the book’s timeline felt a bit compressed as Roland re-dedicates himself to becoming healthy, but it serves the narrative of the story. Ultimately, I believe that any relationship is stronger when, to an extent, a person emphasizes their own well-being over their partner’s. It might seem romantic to dedicate yourself wholly to another person, but Hawthorne inserts a dose of much-needed reality to the romance genre dynamic of a healthy person in a relationship with a person experiencing any mental illness.

[Xanthe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just wow!
Roland is such a heart wrenching character to read. As someone suffering from depression and a functioning alcoholic, it's hard to read at points but it's so very worth it. Kate writes the struggles that he goes through extremely well! He's frustrating yet lovable, artistic yet destructive.
Donny is a tiny dude with the character of someone twice his size. Not afraid to stand up to someone and top the hell out of a guy, he comes across as a hard nut but he's got such a soft, caring centre it's adorable.
The way both men are written, along with the setting that the story is in, makes it all very easy to imagine and fall into the world. Kate is brilliant at bringing the emotions of both characters out and making you feel them fully along with them.
We get to hear from the characters from her previous book, His Kind of Love - Gabriel, Joel and Athena, Donny's sister. They give love and support to Donny but also to Roland which is lovely to read especially when it's so needed by someone with depression.
Not far behind our MC's, my favourite is Pete. He is so completely adorable and truly falls in love with Roland even before Donny. It's a good way for Roland to learn responsibility at such an important time and show Donny he's serious.
I cannot recommend this book enough and hope there is a follow up/novella in the future for the characters from both books!
I received an arc and am happily giving a review

[Shelba · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 24%.

Well, to start, the names are all kind of pretentious: Adonis, Athena, Roland. But, whatever... I can get past the only one with a normal name being the cat.

But then there is the fact that Roland is a dick. A drunk dick. Who stabs his canvases, throws glass bottles and breaks his paintbrushes on the regular. I don't know if we are supposed to sympathize with him, but having depression doesn't excuse being a douchebag. I mean, if your going to offer to look after someone's cat, maybe don't smash a bunch of shit, get drunk and then neglect the cat.

I did like Donny at first, when he was on his date with David(?). But then he meets Roland, and it was all downhill from there. You have to question his judgement anyway when he actually lets Roland look after Pete, and then the fact that instead of bashing Roland over the head with one of his precious vodka bottles after neglecting Pete, Donny would rather fuck him.

I figure I don't need to read the rest of this book to know what's going to happen. Seeing as this is the second book I've read from Kate Hawthorne and the second I've marked as DNF, I'll probably be moving on from this author.

[Kelly ~Booktrovert~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donnie and Roland completely stole my heart!

I felt for Roland. As someone who deals with depression daily, I understood some of his struggles, and my heart broke for him. I just wanted to wrap him up in a hug and never let go.

Donnie was a firecracker. You know the saying 'Never judge a book by its cover'?.. Well it fits here. Donnie was exactly what Roland needed.

Omg! The feels in this book! I'm pretty sure I cried a few times. Plus getting to see Gabriel and Joel again! Gah! This book had my emotions everywhere. I was happy, then I was sad, then I was somewhere in the middle because I wasn't quite sure the direction it would take me.

When I first read His Kind of Love (Gabriel and Joel) I fell in love, and I thought there was no way any other couple would steal their top spot in my heart. Roland and Donnie came in like a damn wrecking ball and knocked them out! This book will definitely be a re-read for me.

Super excited for the next!

5 big stars!

[Claudia Lezár · Rating 4 out of 5]

PLEASE READ FIRST MY RATING SYSTEM!!!
To my ratings (for all people, who wonder, why I say a 3*-book is a good book and should be readed):
5* - very very good and rare (it would be a Blow-Away-book like Liberty from Seth King or Save the kids series from EM Leya). it’s like an A+
4* - very good and will be often reread and is a WOW-book with interesting plot and surprises (like most of Andrew Grey books)
It’s like an A
3* - a really good book, which will be reread a few times (most romances where you can enjoy for relaxing and during waiting times in hospitals). I can recommend them definitively!
It’s like an A-B
2* - it was ok to read, but it's more a one-time-reader (I wouldn't recommend it heartly, but it was ok)
It’s like an C- D
1* - sorry, but that isn't really a book for me (maybe too many mistakes, not a nice plot, or unlogical story, so a NO-GO)
It’s like failure in the whole line, dismissed, repeat the class

[Cathy Brockman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the first book in this series so much I couldn't wait for this one. I actually liked this one even more. Once again we get a unique story but this one deals with a serious social issue...depression and alcoholism. Roland is a painter that feels he lost his inspiration and doesn't realize how good he is e drowns himself in Vodka and his life spirals even more. then he meets Adonis who has issues of his own. Donny is a small man and is always considered a twink when he really likes to top. He meets Adonis and finds out he is a painter and Donny wants to be an artist as well.
I loved the story and was drawn in from the beginning. Kenneth Obi's drunk voice for Roland really hooked me and intrigued me. I could see Roland's personality through his narration.
If you like an age gap, a smaller man topping, stories dealing with depression and finding a new life, and cute kittens you will like this one!

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Donny is shorter, quieter, nicer and softer than his sister. Everyone treats him like a second-place competitor.except for Roland. He looks at him differently, with anger and inspiration in his eyes, but also attraction. An undeniable kind of attraction. Roland has spent years looking for inspiration at the bottom of a bottle. If losing his boyfriend, his career, and his muse weren't bad enough, now he's on the brink of losing his mind too. At least With Donny comes fresh inspiration, but he deserves more than the scattered pieces of Roland. Either he succeeds at conquering the demons inside of him, or he loses Donny forever.

This was an inspirational story as Roland battled his demons to be the kind of man that Donny deserved. They were an odd couple but they just worked. This definitely was an emotional story as Roland and Donny worked out their relationship and Roland fought his demons. Easy to read, feel and understand. This was a MM story with mature content.

[Ruth Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

When reading the book about Gabriel and Joel Donny is introduced and by the end of the book the reader wants to hear the ending for Adonis. This book gives the reader that and it's a captivating story. It's hard to not fall in love with Roland from the start broken and struggling as he is. Adonis is a beautiful character that needed a happy ending.
What I love about this book is the strength in the characters. Ronald makes attempts to fix himself and find his happy.
The subjects are handled with sensitivity and thought which ends up with a beautiful well written book with characters the reader can get lost in.
I would definitely suggest you start with Gabriel and Joel 's book and then read this it will all just make more sense. I definitely would recommend this book.

[Teal Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donny and Roland are amazing characters with a sweet and sexy love story, told beautifully by Kate Hawthorne.

Roland is artistically blocked, in the darkness of depression. He has lost his ability to see the world in all its colors and translate that vision onto his paintings. He meets Donny one day while the younger man is delivering art supplies to his apartment and a small flicker of color starts to work it's way back into Roland's life and art.  Through a series of obsticles, through the overwhelming pressure of being unable to bring his visions to life in his art, through the meddling but caring push from Donny, Roland goes through a journey of rebirth in his art and in his personal life. These two men find a way to bring color back into their lives and to find something powerful and true together.

Definitely recommended.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reading even if the beginning seemed a little "insta." Donny is a young, twinkish delivery boy for an art supply store. He is asked to make a delivery to a penthouse and finds a gorgeous, older guy who slams the door in his face after giving him his art supplies and doesn't even tip. The delivery boy has another delivery a few days later, gets in the door and finds his older artist drinking vodka straight from the bottle and a little inebriated. Seems the artist has lost his artistic touch and having a hard time dealing with it.

Later on we learn the artist was once very famous but has struggled for several years with depression. Our delivery boy takes it upon himself to try and rejuvenate the artist's soul (very steamily) as they both seem to feel an attraction for each other. A very emotional relationship developed and I really liked it.