Freedom Is an Inside Job: Owning Our Darkness and Our Light to Heal Ourselves and the World

by Zainab Salbi

From nationalbestselling author and humanitarian Zainab Salbi, a powerful look at what happens when we heal our shadows and align with our core values.
 
“May this book help create bridges to a much bigger and kinder world.” —Gloria Steinem, author of My Life on the Road and Revolution from Within
 
“If you want to know what true self-power is, then read this book. It will open your inner eye to the beauty of your own being.” —Deepak Chopra, MD, author of The Healing Self and The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
 
How can we transform our collective fear and the deep divisions between us into meaningful change? In Freedom Is an Inside Job, bestselling author, humanitarian, and TV personality Zainab Salbi shares that to transform our outer world, we must turn towards our inner world.
 
After years of working as a successful CEO and change-maker, Salbi realized that if she wanted to confront and heal the shadows of the world, she needed to face her own shadows first. Holding nothing back, Salbi shares pivotal moments from her personal life alongside poignant and fascinating stories from her encounters around the world. Through her stories, we learn that if we want to create real change, we need to heal the inconsistencies within our own values, actions, and goals.
 
As Salbi explores her own riveting journey to wholeness, readers learn how embarking on such a journey enables each of us to create the world we want to live in. “So long as we are conflicted within, we will continue to have conflict without,” writes Salbi. “If we want to change the world, we need to begin with ourselves. This is the path to freedom.”
 

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Spirituality

178 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 2, 2018

About the author

Zainab Salbi is an Iraqi American writer, activist and social entrepreneur who is co-founder and president for Women for Women International.

Reviews

[Amanda (Books, Life and Everything Nice) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book for free through a Goodreads Giveaway. Thank you to Goodreads, Sounds True Publishing, and Zainab Salbi for a free ebook copy. As always, an honest review from me.

Zainab Salbi’s story takes us from her childhood in Iraq to an arranged marriage in America to founding an organization to help women all over the world. She’s very accomplished. The book is her life story along with all the lessons she’s learned along the way.

Her story is unique, yet many women can relate to her emotions and lessons learned. I liked that we get a peek into daily life of women living in Iraq at that time, not just what the U.S. mainstream media was delivering - a very limited, one sided view of the world. The life lessons of forgiveness, shame and fear, taking inventory of one’s inner self, and rediscovering your feelings is a main focus. There’s a lot to learn from her experiences and revelations.

However as great as her story is, it isn’t captivate me personally. It’s not boring by any means, but jumps around a bit. Also some parts feel like a therapy session for her; a book of remorse and past mistakes. It’s important to acknowledge but it dominated a lot of the chapters.

Overall, the story of the author’s life combined with the lessons she learned pull together to educate, inspire and enlighten others. The cons of the book made it not quite as enjoyable as I had hoped.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author has previously written a memoir of her journey from living in Iraq, the daughter of Saddam Hussein’s personal pilot, through life as a young woman in America, and eventually an international women’s rights activist.

I appreciate in this follow up book, her deep exploration of her own shadow self in order to offer many examples of the ways in which we live and act according to our personal and often unacknowledged fears and beliefs. She offers up ideas for living more consciously and the benefit she has reaped in doing so... I admire her willingness to examine her dark side despite all her humanitarian work and success.

[Neda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was fine. I always appreciate Zainab's raw honesty, though I felt like some parts of this book were a little contrived. It lives in a land somewhere between a self-improvement book and a biography. An easy/quick read and you still will get something out of it.

[Martha]

overly repetitive; good "questions for reflection"

[سارّه .. · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكتاب يدور حول الشعور الداخلي بالحرية ليكون الشخص نفسه، وما هي المراحل التي يتحتم على المرء التحرر منها للوصول.
ابتدأت الكاتبة رحلة التحرر عندما تخلت عن الخوف والعار من التجارب التي مرت من خلالها من خلال الخروج من التجربة نفسها، ومساعدة من مروا بالتجارب الصعبة في الحياة من تجاربهم والحديث عنها وصولاً إلى الحرية الداخلية.
منذ مدة لم أقرأ كتاب يجمع بين البساطة وغنوّ التجربة، أن يصل المرء لأقصى درجة من المعاناة ويستطيع بعدها الحديث عنها وكأنها مرت به وليست ماهيته، لهو الإثبات الحقيقي لما يدعوا له.

[Christopher Long · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good content. The delivery felt a little off however. Sometimes it felt lecture-y and I can't tell if Salbi wrote this book for the world or if to unpack her own journey for herself. As such, the story seemed to include bits of self-help conclusions while trying to stay genuine to her own life. The indecision led to a strange delivery for me.

[Amin Radhi · Rating 5 out of 5]

كنت اسمع عن زينب سلبي وشفت لها مقابلة تلفزيونية ويوم من الأيام شفت كتابها في المكتبه واخذني الفضول ان اخذه ..
الكتاب روعة وممتاز .. طريقة السرد والمحتوى جبار .. تعاطفت وعشت معاها حياتها . تعلمت وايد اشياء من زينب لانها قاعدة تنقل قصتها الحقيقية .

[Mona Saad · Rating 2 out of 5]

ما قبل الحكايةِ ؛
في البداية جذبني غلافُ الكتابِ ،
فقد كان من ضمن الكتب في section ( ٣٠ دقيقة لنفسِگ كل صباح ) على تطبيق ( أبجد ) ،
وهذا الرفّ من الكتب دخل تحت بند كتب التنمية البشرية تلقائيًّا ؛ ذاگ العالم الذي أصبحت أمقتهُ من شدة المبالغة في التفاؤل التي توصلُ المرءَ غالبًا لحائطٍ سدٍّ فيتقهقرُ خائبًا خالي الوفاضِ محمَّلًا بعبءٍ جديدٍ وهو أنَّ الجميع نجحوا وأنت وحدگ الذي لم تتمكَّن من الوصولِ!
المهمّ أنني عندما رأيتُ الكتابَ ،
شعرتُ بألفةٍ تجاه الصورةِ عليهِ ،
ولكنني لم أستطع تذكُّرَ شيءٍ ينمُّ عن معرفةٍ مسبقَةٍ
فأتيت لـ Goodreads لمعرفة التفاصيل ؛
ومن هنا شُدِدتُّ للقراءةِ ؛
هل من تعليقاتِ القراءِ ؟
أم من السيرة الذاتية للكاتبةِ ؟
أم كليْهما ؟!
صدقًا ؛ لا أدري!

الأهمّ أنني بدأت في قراءتهِ ،
وفي فترةٍ عصيبةٍ في حياتي ،
ولن أنكر كون الأسلوب السرديّ جذابًا وسلسًا ،
وأن التحدث عمومًا عن التجارب الإنسانية يأسرني بشكلٍ أو بآخرَ
لكن استوقفتني بعض النقاطِ ؛
ففي حديث الكاتبة عن العراقِ وعن صدّام والدواعشٍ وعن الخراب الذي حلَّ بالديار من الميليشياتِ و ... ،
لم أجدها تتطرّق عن دور أمريكا ودخولها العراق برغم استيقاظنا جميعًا ونحن أطفالٌ لا نفقه شيئًا من أخبار السياسةِ على أنباءِ تلگ الفاجعةِ ؛
أذكر أنني ربما كنت في الصف الرابع الابتدائي حينها!
أظن أنّ هذه النقطة تحتاج لمراجعةِ النفسِ والوقوف على الأسبابِ التي حالت دون الاستفاضةِ والإسهابِ في الحديثِ عن طرفٍ مشتركٍ في مأساةٍ كبرى
وهذا الطرف لن تسقطَ آثامُهُ بالتغافلِ مثلًا!
وليس معنى كونه البلد الثاني للكاتبة أن تنحاز لطرفٍ على حسابِ طرفٍ ، فالأفضل هنا السكوت عن الطرفين وحسب!

أما على الجانب الآخر ،
والخاص بالكاتبةِ نفسِها ،
وبرغم كونها تطرّقت للكثير من جوانب حياتِها الشخصية وغاصت في أعماقِ نفسها ، أحيانًا بعمقٍ شديدٍ وأحيانًا بسطحيةٍ
فهناگ ما أثار استيائي ،
وشعرتُ ربما بغضبٍ يوازي غضبها في موقفها مع دونّا زوجة صديقها سامي وربما يزيدُ عليهِ ،
شعرتُ هنا بالآراء التي تبدو براقة وجذابةً التي تنادي بالحرية وعندما يطلب الطرف الآخر الحريةَ لرأيه ، نجد القمعَ بالمرصادِ!
عند هذا الفصل بالذات ـ الخامس ـ ،
شعرتُ باندماجي السابقِ يتحولُ لقلقٍ ،
لم أستطع العودة للقراءةِ بانسيابيةٍ من جديدٍ
فآراء الكاتبة كلها في المواضيعِ التي عرضتها كانت مثيرةً للغيظِ وردّ فعلِها نفسه أصابني بالقلقلةِ!
كما أنّ الأحاديث التي نقلتها بينها وبين دونا ، شعرت وكأنها مجتزأة أو مختصرة لدرجةٍ أخلَّت بالحوار الأساسيّ!

وعند انتقالها للحديثِ عن جنسانيةِ المرءِ وشعورها بالغضبِ تجاه رد دونا ؛
هذه ليست آراء ؛ هذه عقيدة
ونعم مَن يقوم بتلك الفاحشة آثمٌ ؛
هذا ليس رأيًا لـ دونا ؛
هذا ما قاله الله ـ عزّ وچلَّ ـ ونحن نصدِّق عليه وبهِ!
ولا أستطيع أن أفهم ماذا تقصدين بعدم الإيذاءِ !
فقوم سيدنا لوط كانوا جميعًا يؤمنون بالفكرة وبالتالي الجميع موافقون ولا يتسببون بأذى لبعضهم ، كما وصلني من رأيکِ ، فَلِمَ وقعَ عليهم العذابُ إذن ؟!
مَن يرى في نفسه ميلًا لتلگ الفاحشة ؛
فليس العلاج بالبحثِ عن شخصٍ يتبع نفس النهجِ
كيلا يوقعَ عليه الأذى ولكن بالبحث عن طبيبٍ نفسيٍّ لمعالجةِ هذا الخللِ ومحاولة العودة إلى الفطرةِ من جديدٍ!

ثمَّ
في حديثها عن الحيواناتِ
« الحيوانات في رأيي أكثر خلقة وصادقة وآمنةٌ ؛
لأنهم لا يكذبون مثل الإنسانِ !! »
وهناگ سؤال بديهيٌّ ؛
كيف سيكذب ( مَن ) لا يتكلَّم أو بشكلٍ أدقّ ( ما ) ؛
فهو أصلا غير عاقلٍ والمتحكم فيه الغريزة فحسب
لا تحكمه صفاتٌ عليا ناتجة عن العقلِ ،
وكما قال الله ـ سبحانه وتعالى ـ :
{ وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِي آدَمَ وَحَمَلْنَاهُمْ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَاهُمْ مِنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَفَضَّلْنَاهُمْ عَلَى كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًا ﴾
وبالتالي فالأفضليَّة هنا ليست من اختيار أحدٍ
قد فضّلنا الله وانتهى الأمر!
بالإضافة لمثالٍ بسيطٍ ؛
القط الذي يحبه أغلبُ البشر ويستأنسون بصحبتهِ ويرتبط هو نفسه بصاحبه و ... ، ألا يتسبَّب في الخربشة والإيلامِ لصاحبهِ مرات ومراتٍ ؟!
وهذا على قدْر إمكانياتهِ من الأذى
فربما لو امتلگ قدرةً أكبر ، لفعل ما هو أكثر فظاعة
كأسد محمد الحلو مثلًا !!
يؤسفني أن أقول أنني هنا بالذات شعرتُ بأنَّ آراء الكاتبة تميل للحِديةِ ولولا أنها كانت ترأسُ منظمةً لحقوق النساء ، لظننتُ لوهلةٍ أنها من هؤلاء الذين يناشدون بحقوق الحيوانِ وتتحول أصواتهم لوضع الصامت أمام المجـ.ـازر التي تحدث للبشرِ!

▪️« لقد اخترت أن أخسر الصداقةَ وأحتفظَ بصوتي »
وهنا وبرغم أنّ الكاتبة قد تراجعت عن بعض أفكارها في طريقة تصرّفها ، إلا أنني ـ ورغمًا عني ـ جاء في خاطري قول اللـهِ ـ عزّ وچلَّ ـ :
{ قُلْ هَلْ نُنَبِّئُكُم بِالْأَخْسَرِينَ أَعْمَالًا۝ الَّذِينَ ضَلَّ سَعْيُهُمْ فِي الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَهُمْ يَحْسَبُونَ أَنَّهُمْ يُحْسِنُونَ صُنْعًا۝ }
فما أدراکِ وزرعَ داخلك ذلك اليقين بأنكِ على حقٍّ ؟!
لقد أصابني هذا الموقفُ بالهلعِ عندما تذكرتُ الآيةَ ؛
فربما نجري ونمرح ظانين بأننا الأصح
ولا نعطي أنفسنا فرصةً لالتقاط أنفاسِنا متسائلين ؛
أنحن على الحقِّ
أم هو الهوىٰ وحسب ؟!

كنت سأمنح الكتابَ نجمةً واحدةً
ولكن هناگ الكثير من الأفكار التي أعجبتني بحقّ عن دواخلِ النفسِ وتموّجاتِها ، فأوچست في نفسي خِيفةً أن أكونَ حِدّيّةً أنا الأخرى في التقييم وأتناسى الجزء الجيدَ من الكتابِ!
وعمومًا تجربة لا بأسَ بها
ولم أندمْ على د��ولِهـا ؛
لأنها أطلعتني على الكثيرِ من نفسي ؛
فكثيرًا ما نعرفُ أجزاءً غامضةً منَّا عن طريقِ تجارب الآخرين!

[Margaret Cahill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally inspired by this book. I wasn't aware of Zainab Salbi before but I will be reading her first book too. An extraordinarily active campaigner for human rights, Salbi set up Women for Women International, which among other things supports women in war zones. It was in hearing the heartbreaking and often appallingly violent stories of these brave women that she realised the only way to be totally authentic with them was to admit her own dark shadows. Having previously shut away dark and difficult emotions and memories, we follow her as she learns to face these and discover a much richer and more fulfilling life. In fact I would say we learn alongside her, because I found each chapter a revelation, and it definitely prompted some self-examination and as a result a much kinder and more compassionate approach to myself, and thus to others. Salbi realises she has developed a defense strategy which identifies that if something/someone isn't with her they must be against her. There were no grey areas and that in itself also led her to being judgemental. I certainly felt that one deeply. Against the back drop of human suffering, courageous tales from refugee camps and perilous vists into war zones, we discover that the way to kindness and compassion is ultimately through feeling kindness and compassion for ourselves. Anything less is selling ourselves - and those we purport to help - short.

[Jess Macallan · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you want to understand how to embrace your shadow and use your light for change, you'll want to read this book. Ms. Salbi is a wonderful storyteller, who bravely shares her own story and the stories of women who lived through incredibly challenging situations. Readers will come away inspired to find authenticity through the good and terrible events that shaped who they are today.

Two lines that stuck with me were, "Anger is important for igniting the fire to fight injustice, but it can never be the fuel that sustains the burning." And "We can walk the path of freedom when we let go of our fears and dare to be who we truly are."

Readers will want to spend extra time exploring the questions for reflection for each chapter. They are thoughtful and invite an honest evaluation of our story, our truth, our success, forgiveness, the darkness, letting go, and the freedom to be found if only we allow it.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Olga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Generally, when we look in the mirror we see a good person. But is that really true? Are we all “sunshine” and “rainbows” or do we all have some darkness within us? Are we really as good and righteous as we think we are? At the same time, do we always give ourselves enough credit for our success and accomplishments? Do we love ourselves? This book explores those questions through the life journey of the author. (And her journey is incredible) She argues that in order for us to be “free” we have to own our truth. Knowing and acknowledging, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful is what allows us to grow and live our lives with compassion.

I listened to this book and would strongly suggest listening to it as an audiobook. It is narrated by the author who is an absolutely amazing storyteller. I thought her passion, feelings and emotional inflections add to the strength of her message.

[Noel نوال · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I initially began reading 'Freedom Is an Inside Job' I was expecting it to be a memoir. However, as I read on I realized the structure of this book is part memoir, part self-help, and part instructional manual on transforming your darkness into something positive. Zainab discusses her family's connection to Saddam Hussein with her father being one of his private pilots and the danger she was in that led to her being part of an arranged marriage to get her out of the country. I appreciated this book and reading about how Zainab turned the pain of the suffering she endured in an abusive marriage that she was arranged to be in as a tool to get her out of Iraq as war unfolded into something positive. Zainab transformed her pain and guilt into fighting for a cause to aid women worldwide in war-torn areas, and in this book she discusses how women are often the 'collateral damage' of war and the journey of how she created her organization.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was an interesting coincidence that I was reading this book, just after completing a book about Marines that served in Iraq and Afghanistan. In her honest telling of her own story I heard so much of my own story, not our experiences but our doubts, insecurities, and fears. Maybe, as humans we have much more in common than we are different. She writes of her struggles in her intimate relationship as well as the journey to accepting herself and seeing the beauty that she always had all along. This author, is someone I would enjoy spending time with personally, over a cup of tea, and hearing all that she has learned in journey of finding herself and helping other women in war ravaged countries. She is a bright light. I would like to consider buying this book, as it had a collection of questions in the back to reflect upon.

[Rebecca Calfina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of insight and reflection happening because of this book. The author escapes and oppressive war ridden Iraq only to find herself in an abusive oppressive marriage in the states. She overcomes her obstacles to form Women to Women international that helps lift and empower women around the globe out of poverty an misfortune from war, sex trafficking, and other abuses into lives they can feel secure in. She goes through a process of identifying strengths and dealing with demons or darkness that exist in our world and within us as result of upbringings, religions, stereotypes etc. to help the reader connect to her mission and discover our own freedom in learning and unlearning of deeply help beliefs.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm always up for anything written by, or any project from, Zainab Salbi, the founder of Women for Women International. I love the nonprofit's mission and have volunteered there for years. This book has a great premise that I would love to shout from the rooftops: if we look to make changes in the world, we have to stop demonizing our adversaries and those we disagree with, and first look to change from within. (Hence the title.) It went a bit long and deep for me on discussing deep personal growth, but it effectively made the argument that at least starting to look at one's own shortcomings leads us to a place freer from judgement and more open to connection.

[Linda Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some inspiring nuggets in the book. She has overcome many obstacles to share her wisdom. She has done much to help women all over the world.
"Our soul is our teacher in everything. Until we learn to see it, honor it, and take care of it, we an never know the depth or breadth of our natural beauty."
"We need a new value system, one that is not based on division, fear, and hatred. We need a new human being."
"The journey starts with our stories, but it does not end there. The journey is about finding our truth, acknowledging it living it, and showing up in a new way in a much-divided world."

[Vicki L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great thought-provoking look at the way we look outward and criticize what we are guilty of in our own lives. Salbi gently shares her discoveries and encourages us to do the same. This is an important approach towards reconciliation in all areas of our lives, our nation and our world. Highly recommended!

[Ali Saif · Rating 4 out of 5]

اسلوب و طريقة كتابة زينب سلبي اسرتني في هذا الكتاب و جعلتني اقلب الاوراق الواحده تلو الاخرى لكي انهي الكتاب
ذكرني هذا الكتاب بواحد من احب الكتب الى قلبي و هو ( صلاة،طعام، حب )
يحكي مذكرات زينب و قصتها لايجاد السلام و الحرية و الداخليه
براي انه جميل لانه خلا من اي تعقيد و كانت البساطة للتعبير و الكتابه هي سيدة الموقف و بلا اي تكلف
حقيقة يستحق القراءة

[Aubrey Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of those books I’d call Life Changing for me. Incredible insights, thought-provoking stories, important perspectives. I really loved this book and am so grateful to have found it. I didn’t want it to end because I loved the personal growth it brought me!

[Ameerah · Rating 4 out of 5]

وقت اختياري للكتاب بشكل عشوائي اعرف الكاتبه من بعض مقاطع الفيديو و كنت احب حواراتها ..
قررت شراء الكتاب
و قررت اقرأه بديسمبر نهاية السنه ٢٠٢١
و هو الوقت المناسب لاعادة جدول الحياه و النفس و النوايا و التعرف ع الذات اكثر و اكثر
لمستني كثير
و شكرا لك زينب سلبي♥️♥️

[Freedom Breath · Rating 3 out of 5]

‏تعلمت من عملي مع ضحايا الحرب ماهو أثمن للناجين:
شهادات الولادة والموت والتعليم والوثائق القانونية التي توضح ملكية الأرض وصور العائلة.

‎#زينب_سلبي
‎#الحرية


رحلة ممتعة وسيرة ذاتية سلسلة لتجربة حياتية ثرية بالتجارب والمواقف والدروس.

[Ellen Keener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a timely inspiring book. Very useful for those willing to look in the mirror. Like the way she tells her story with humor and openness.

[Jaymie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most important books of our time. Highly recommend!

[Micebyliz]

just finished this quite personal and inspiring book. I enjoyed the PBS program she was involved in and learned a lot from her book.

[Sylvie M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It's giving me food for thought and the needed tools to stand in my truth regardless of my perception of it!

[Candace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great insights for personal & global examination, will return to the prompts at the end of the book.

[abrightwoman · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب رهيب ياخذك لأماكن رهيبة داخل روحك 🌎🎈💛

[Fatima · Rating 5 out of 5]

كُل الفتيات يجب أن تقرأه🤍.

[Jacy Heidorn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not my usual type of book, but I did learn a lot. The author shared a lot of deeply touching and thought-provoking stories. An interesting read for sure.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zainab Salbi immigrated via arranged marriage fro Iraq to America. However, her new husband was abusive and after leaving that relationship she started an organization that helped women all over the world especially in war torn areas. This book is about how she learned to embrace her full self even the dark parts. How everyone has a darkness within themselves and by ignoring it and refusing to acknowledge it leads to fear and divided community. One must acknowledge everything about themselves in order to move forward.

Using anecdotes from her life she talks about several life changing events that gave her sparks of insight to the human tendency to deny oneself and others. She realized that everyone can fall into a chasm where they think with judgement before compassion and thus stop truly listening. However, once she realized that forgiveness does not equal acceptance (for bad or awful behavior) she realized she could listen with an open mind thus making it possible for the *other* party to listen as well instead of getting defensive.

One of my favorite stories of how this comes to play was when she bore witness to the Rwanda trials. Community leaders would hear the confessions and then decide on their fate, which usually amounted to community service to help rebuild what was destroyed. Only those that were truly regretful were considered. Those that were not were sent back to prison.

It's a really thought provoking book that is hard to sum up but it's well worth reading especially considering how divisive things are looking these days. I find myself looking at myself and asking myself questions about how I handle situations and how perhaps I could have handled them better with less judgement. Also, how it may be possible to discuss situations without making the other party defensive, which closes their minds. There are a list of questions in the back to spark contemplation as well. All in all this was a really good book to read because it helps open your mind to rethink stereotypes and preconceived notions.