Everything Is Negotiable: The 5 Tactics to Get What You Want in Life, Love, and Work

by Meg Myers Morgan

Surprising ways women leave opportunities for happiness on the table, and how to negotiate better terms in life, love, and work.

Dr. Meg Myers Morgan, an expert in personal and professional negotiations, deconstructs our preconceived notions about adulthood, parenthood, and career paths and illuminates how they can limit us. Drawing from her experiences personally mentoring and professionally coaching her graduate students, raising her kids, and achieving success in her own career, this is a must-read for high-potential women balancing work and life. Chock full of powerful advice, case studies, and laugh-out-loud stories, this humorous yet commanding book will inspire you to clarify goals, overcome doubts, have a healthy relationship with ambition, and set the terms for the life you want.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Audiobook, Feminism, Personal Development, Leadership

320 pages, Paperback

First published December 4, 2018

About the author

Meg Myers Morgan is a best-selling and award-winning author whose books speak to the nuances of womanhood, motherhood, and self-worth. Her collection of essays, Harebrained: It seemed like a good idea at the time (Gem Publishing, 2015), won the gold medal from the Independent Publishers Book Awards. Her career development book, Everything is Negotiable: The Five Tactics to Get What You Want in Life, Love, and Work (Seal Press/Hachette, 2018) is a bestseller and has been translated in multiple languages. The Inconvenient Unraveling of Gemma Sinclair (GFB, 2025) is Meg's debut novel. Meg earned her degree in Creative Writing with Honors in English from Drury University, and her masters and PhD from the University of Oklahoma. She is currently an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma. Meg, her husband, and her two daughters are all citizens of the Cherokee Nation and live in Tulsa.

Reviews

[Rachelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Everything is Negotiable... not so much a strategy guide of how to negotiate as it is a reflection of the author's personal life successes and failures and many mentions of her college students' trials and struggles in the classroom and finding the proper time to start a family, apply for a better job, or attend graduate school. Many of the stories were similar and the teachable moments repeated frequently.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a bit "fluffier" than the title led me to expect - more anecdotal than research-based - but it was an enjoyable, light read with some solid advice and a sprinkling of laugh-out-loud moments (e.g. when she and her husband "clung to each other like Jack and Rose on the sinking Titanic" following a harrowing evening on their first full-family vacation). Meg describes herself as being very aware of the feelings of others, and that comes through in the various stories she recalls. It is empowering to hear about negotiating for the life you want from someone who does so not at the expense of others.

Some key takeaways from the book:
1. Don't confuse your wants
- Don't let the wants of others confuse your own life goals
- Claim responsibility, but do not accept rejection as failure
2. Choose all that apply
- Choice is the path to your wants
- Have a positive attitude/mindset: change always starts with us and our reactions, and it always starts small - how we perceive and react to all that happens to us is one of the most powerful choices we make
- Always have things to look forward to - school is the template for this
- Our relationships are our choice: be around people who lift you up
- Choices are rewards as you navigate through life, and they are not finite - one choice opens up many others, and when choices are made for you, more choices open up
- No single choice will satisfy you
- Reasons for getting into the "cycle of choice": 1) Fill a void, 2) Your version of Mt. Everest, 3) Safety net, 4) Seeking permission
- Choosing means asking: make it clear to others what you are going after and why; choosing isn't official until you've asked for what you've chosen
- Don't be afraid to ask, and don't be afraid to change your ask as your needs change
- Once you make a choice, stick with it
3. Own the terms
- Own your narrative: control the messaging around who you are, what you stand for, and what you deserve
- Three rules of storytelling: 1) Don't just be the hero -be the narrator and write yourself as the hero, 2) Don't put plot before character, and 3) Don't reuse plot points
- Find your own voice: speak up - both in quantity and in volume
- Own your patch of soil: those things that we think we are above are actually some of the most important work we do; good work is noticeable, bad work is too, hard work is as apparent as laziness
- Keep in mind the halo effect: what you lead with casts a glow over everything else you are
- Manage expectations: people can be reasonable as long as they have a head's up
- Own your failures: failure and success are two sides of the same coin
- Own the overlays
4. Never give your all
- Give your some to many things you want
- Regarding criticism: be the best you can, learn when you can, and let the rest go - criticism is 80% rubble and 20% gold
- Explore the root of your reactions and behaviors, and change only that which you can no longer sustain; keep the rest - it is enough
- Differentiate between what you owe and what you choose to give
5. Get out of your own way
- Let your delusions sit in the driver seat - they're in your head for a reason; listen to them and go forth
- Many of our missed chances are because of some debilitating voice in our heads (not good enough, not ready, don't deserve it) - you must believe that you are fantastic, worthy, and ready
- Get over perfect: there is no ideal, and done is better than perfect
- Focus: don't focus on the enemy, focus on the things you can improve (not control); focus on the process, not the outcome, and enjoy the journey; focus on the minutae in order to solve big problems
- Pay attention to what you already have - the clearer the image, the more real it is
- It takes a while to get to yes, whereas no's are swift and certain - be patient and continue working at it
- Put your wants out there into the universe instead of hiding them - nominate yourself

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title should be changed to include something along the lines of juggling motherhood while getting ahead. Much of this book is focused on being a mother. Thought it strange that the author focused on her young child as an example of a great negotiator as an opener. Also, thought it was in bad taste and unprofessional that the author uses cuss words. Overall, this book had nothing new to offer (that hasn't been covered countless times in this genre.) Easy read, took two days to finish it.

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book to start the New Year! I checked this out because I'd hoped it would help me with a webinar I'm teaching next week, about standing up for yourself. And it certainly did, but not in the way I expected. These are not nuts-and-bolts teachings - Morgan's advice requires you to look deep within yourself, to find out what you want from life and how to get it. More about negotiating with yourself than about dealing with other people. But, since the only person in life we can control is ourself, this makes so much sense! I'm really looking forward to recommending this book to my webinar participants.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this to be not unpleasant to read, but also not very helpful. Mostly anecdotes about her children and life as an advisor for grad students, I didn't find much solid advice.

[Marleen | Favoritez · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 ster

[Marissa DeCuir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meg Myers Morgan has given women a treasure chest of knowledge in neatly printed book! I think we all wonder if we can honestly have it all. Her book gives such great advice especially regarding the topic of perfection. As she states in the book, we should not strive for perfection. We should focus on the goal at hand. I found this book to be incredibly useful, and I know it will be great asset to any professional trying to navigate life.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her sophomore book, Meg Myers Morgan is dealing us the real in a way that only your best friend, mentor, teacher, coach, and nail lady can. Nestled between perfectly written anecdotes and stories from her personal experiences, MMM dishes out generous amounts of reassurance and honesty to help women get out of their own way in order to negotiate what they want (and avoid eating salads as meals).

So, share this will all your gal pals. After they read it you can all get together to drink margaritas and chips & queso.

"We have to stop using phrases like giving our all, and we have to stop thinking like this. You physically cant, and emotionally shouldn't, give your all to any one thing. So instead, give your some to a lot of things."

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always had trouble asking for what I want or letting myself get bulldozed by those around me. Everything Is Negotiable made me realize how much I could use negotiation to stand up for myself and my dreams. I feel like the tools she provides are so necessary for young women but so rarely touched upon in many circumstances. Morgan uses such a great combination of wit and real life examples that I felt like I was sitting at a coffee shop chatting with her as she relayed this amazing life advice. Highly recommended!

[Lauren A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that feeling you get when you leave a movie theater after seeing a superhero movie--like you could suddenly do anything and everything? That's exactly how I felt finishing this book! There are tidbits of wisdom on every page for just about every situation a woman might find herself in as she navigates life. After reading Everything is Negotiable, I feel so much more confident in my abilities to take on the real world.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a woman that wished she had better negotiated in her 20s, this book is full of solid advice I learned through taking a harder path, and wish I had known "back then!" I am an instructor at a University now, and hope I can help impart to the young women I work with these great tools and tips for grasping the future (both personally and professionally) that they most want. An easy and needed read for any woman.

[Morgan Schulman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received in advance readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

This is a good book for women who need to learn to ask for what they want and believe in themselves. Ite not a book about social and communication skills in business, navigating office politics, or achieving negation with difficult people. Recommend for young women about to finish school, as many of the narrative examples in this book are the author as a professor giving advice to students.

[Rah · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. While written by someone holding a PhD, it provides more opinion-based rather than evidence-based advice and conclusions.

Felt a lot like reading a Suze Orman finance book. Nothing really WRONG, but primarily feelgood one-size-fits-all, feel that is maybe why women continue to have a reputation for gullibility and generally foolish decision-making.

[Lena Nechet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not really about negotiation as expected, but good.

[Brianne C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a difficult read for me, but in a good way. I can usually read a book this size in a couple of days, but this one took me over a month to read. It is chock-full of hard truths, nearly all of which really hit home for me. Every couple of paragraphs, I had to put it down to mull over what was said and how it applies (or can be applied) to my life. This book forced me to take a hard look at me life and how my actions affect it.

I love that it is written as if the author is just chatting with you and that she uses her own real life experiences to demonstrate her points. I much prefer this style to other self-help/motivational books that read like textbooks. The only downside, is with the large volume of anecdotes, some of them go unfinished or get broken up into pieces with others in between.

One thing to keep in mind when considering this book, is that it is targeted at women. The title does not do a great job at making that obvious. While I think men could still benefit from some of the advice, it is clear upon reading the book that the author is speaking to other women.

Overall, I think it's a great read, just give yourself some time to reflect in the process.

[Maura Hahnenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading the title of this book I thought it was going to be a book focused on negotiations... and it partly is, but it is a lot more.

This book is somewhat of a chimera, but in a good way. Part professional development, part self-help, part memoir, part non-fiction humor, and part motivational speaker. As I was reading I thought to myself, that this could also be titled something like "The Girlfriends' Guide to Being a Professional." But compared to those other books, I actually would love to be close friends with the author.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to reflect on their own decision making about their life and getting what they TRULY want (not what they think they are supposed to want or what other people say they should want).

And lastly (but not leastly) Dr. Meg Myers Morgan is HILARIOUS. Most of her humor connects to parenting, so if you are not a parent maybe it won't be as funny to you, but I was literally laughing out loud every couple pages.

[Nelly Mosstaghimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent. I listened to the audiobook version and loved it. Originally, I thought this was going to be a book about negotiation, but it was more like a comprehensive guide for women who want to have it all (career, family, healthy marriage, happiness). It's similar to Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, but more comprehensive, relatable, and accessible. There's advice about negotiating salary and a few other things, but the book reads more like a motivational guide for women, drawing on real life examples from the author's own life and career. The author, Meg Myers Morgan, uses a lot of examples from her experience as a parent to make her points about women's career aspirations, which I found compelling, even though I don't have kids. She's encouraging without being pushy. She's smart, but not condescending. And she's honest, sincere, and sometimes a little funny. I highly recommend this book for women everywhere.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

At some stage this author states if you don’t agree about some things you might not be the target audience, and whilst I agree with her on many levels I am not her target audience.
I found there were some pithy advices but related very little as most of the advice related to academia or raising small children, and not to industries where wages are fixed per hour. And personal negotiations mentioned had little relevance to my life.
Meg and her husband sound like a perfect family etc and the small issues raised in negotiation with her children are common to all parents, yes even travelling with small infants etc. I found I admired her response to a major trauma the most and how she turned adversity into a positive for her. The how to find something to look forward to is similar to my own views.
Very mumsy and fluffier than expected. I was glad it was a library read.

[William Jeanes Memorial Library]

This book reminds us to keep an open mind, to have different perspectives, and always to look forward. While doing so, know that you are affecting others and vice-versa. Ask questions, negotiate, to make sure that you are getting something worthwhile towards you goals, allowing you to move forward. We sometimes need to make sure that we are enjoying this ride in life and, in so doing, can still arrive at what our original goals were, or even discover something new. The idea is to gain confidence in yourself and it is possible to think of both yourself and others at the same time.
-Patron J.C.

[Hannes Merwe · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title should include that the book is only for women.

The book focuses on poor behaviour by some women and generalizes this as reality.

Definitely for feminists. Making the blanket statement that men run around without the competitive nature between them while earning double for the same work, should be followed up with some evidence or discussion. That's a different topic so why bring it up mid-conversation - it's just a complaint of unfairness towards women - debateably the opposite is true today.

[Sonja Tobey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meg Myers Morgan gives an encouraging word to women in "Everything is Negotiable." She also gives the reader the kick in the pants to need to get yourself enthusiastic about yourself. I have gifted this book to many of my friends and most especially to my daughters. It's everything I wish I had said to them years ago, and perhaps tried, but in book form and in a language they can relate and respond to. Just read the book, you will not regret a single second of it.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the right book at the right time for me! The author is a mentor in many arenas in her life, and it shows in her writing. As a new mom in the middle of career transitions with a desire to pursue academia, I couldn't imagine a better self-help book for the moment. It's full of encouragement, friendly nuggets of wisdom and advice, and just enough anecdotes from her personal life, with a sprinkling of empirical data.

[Books Forward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything Is Negotiable is not only a must-read for young professionals but also a crucial read for anyone trying to charge of their life. Readers will learn the importance of having healthy relationships, the importance of controlling their own narrative, how to handle the criticism that comes their way, and a variety of other amazing life tools.

[Briana · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom sent me this book and I thought it might be interesting, but I liked it so much more than I thought I would. Not only does she empower women to make stronger choices, she helps us see that we can still find value in the choices that weren’t so good. And she emphasizes breaking the mold because your life doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. Amazing work! Highly recommend.

[Deb Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the perspective of this book. It mentions some ideas I've come across on my own like, each day have something to look forward to. "Shit is going to happen to you. Shit has already happened to you. And that shit show is often the birthplace of all your best options." "Don't keep going down a path just because you're already on it."

[Theresa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wrote the five tactics down when she mentioned them at the beginning of the audiobook. The remainder of the book is focused on anecdotes for potential Graduate students, married women and mothers. I didn’t find ways to connect similarities in my own life other than to make sure I ask for more money whenever presented with new job offers.

[Pía López Copetti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came to me as a surprise after reading "Master the Day" by Alexander Heyne, so the concept of the narrative defining the outcome of our actions was pretty clear to this point.
I really recommend this book if you're wondering about your academic life and its outcome, your decisions and why you struggle so much for a simple 'yes' or 'no' response.

[Marina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but I couldn’t. I feel like the people who’ve read this book know her or read her other work. I didn’t have this connection with her, so I didn’t enjoy her personal stories that much. I would’ve liked for them to be shorter. I got this book wanting wisdom on how to negotiate things, but it was more about life lessons and her personal story.

[Xrysa Ser · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wasnt sure how to rate this, because it was an easy to read book with some interesting bits but it genuinely had no structure and I still cannot tell you what was the main point of the book. It Is not about negotiating to get what you want. Not sure what it is about, just random stories and thoughts - which is not bad, just not sure what I got out of it

[Sarah Darby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for insights on the importance of negotiation and pushing forward in the face of uncertainty, doubt, and challenge. Many funny anecdotes from her personal life add interest and draw parallels between themes of negotiation and persistence important both professionally and personally.