Fear of Missing Out

by Kate McGovern

Everyone has a fear of missing out on something--a party, a basketball game, a hangout after school. But what if it's life that you'll be missing out on?

When Astrid learns that her cancer has returned, she hears about a radical technology called cryopreservation that may allow her to have her body frozen until a future time when--and if--a cure is available. With her boyfriend, Mohit, and her best friend, Chloe, Astrid goes on a road trip in search of that possibility. To see if it's real. To see if it's worth it. For fear of missing out on everything.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Realistic Fiction, Teen, Fiction, Family

313 pages, Hardcover

First published March 19, 2019

About the author

Kate McGovern is the author of Rules for 50/50 Chances, which was called a “standout contemporary read” by Booklist. She lives with her family in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in a house full of books.

Reviews

[emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

#StopWritingBooksThatTellTeenagersDyingYoungIsRomanticAndDesirable2k20

Like this to join the movement.

I did not like this much on a basic level (I thought the characters were flat, I found the pacing to be off, the synopsis covers very little of the actual story, and nothing much of anything interested me in general), but that's not why I hated it.

I HATED IT because if there's one thing we have enough of, it's kids-with-cancer books that tell kids they should just give up and die. Even if there are other options and treatments that are promising, as there are in this book. Even if you have a lot of people who love you and would be devastated by your giving up.

I'm not saying that if there's a seventeen year old with cancer out there who wants to stop treatment that there's anything wrong with that. If it's their decision.

But I am saying that all the adult writers who are desperate to write romanticized books about teens choosing to die are f*cking weird.

Bottom line: Enough!!!

---------------
currently-reading updates
on the one hand, i hate a Sad But Romantic Young Adult Tale Of Terminal Cancer, but on the other hand...i do love a road trip

thanks to the publisher for the ARC, which as always i am reading comically late

[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Astrid was lucky. She beat cancer once, but it appeared that cancer wasn't done with her, and this time, fighting back seemed futile.

• Pro: I instantly fell in love with each and every one of these characters. Astrid was a no brainer, but I also adored Mohit, her mom, and her little brother. I wanted to group hug with them, because I had just met Astrid and couldn't bear to lose her.

• Pro: No sugarcoating, this book got tough towards the end. I am actually crying right now, but no worries, it was not all sad, downer stuff, because this story was filled with so much love, and Wow! What a testament about the life Astrid lived, that she was surrounded by so many people, who love her that much.

• Pro: The right to die is quite a touchy subject, and I really appreciated the way McGovern handled it. The approach was honest, emotional, and thought provoking.

• Pro: My heart broke over and over again for Astrid, and I hated that she was in this situation, but I admired her strength and her openness with her loved ones, and her determination to decide how she would spend her final days.

• Pro: I remember thinking, how lucky Astrid was to have experienced something as wonderful as her relationship with Mohit. Their love and affection for each other was a beautiful thing, and I was glad we had that, as well as her friendship with Chloe, because it helped me get through the really sad parts.

• Pro: McGovern didn't only let us view Astrid's pain and grief. We also got to see how her illness affected all those around her, and how they handled it.

Overall: An emotional, beautiful, and thoughtful story about one girl's struggle with terminal illness, and the choices she was faced with.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 3 out of 5]

Astrid is dying of a brain tumor. Her boyfriend Mohit and mother think a clinical trial will save her, but even Astrid’s oncologist doesn’t agree. Astrid considers cryopreservation, freezing her body until a cure is found sometime in the future, which comes at a hefty price. Her best friend Chloe suggests crowdfunding with unforeseen consequences. The Internet always has an opinion.

I loved Astrid and her morbid sense of humor. I’m a cancer survivor and know inappropriate humor is therapeutic. I can also see how her mom and boyfriend wouldn’t like it, but we do what we have to do to survive.

FEAR OF MISSING OUT addresses an important aspect of living with and dying of cancer. Whose life is it? Do we live for our loved ones or ourselves? And how old do we have to be to decide when to forgo treatment? As we creep closer to death, as a young or old person, the choices we get to make become fewer and more important.

I didn’t like Mohit and his relationship with Astrid, but loved BFF Chloe and her never ending support for Astrid. Astrid’s mom was also a great character.

When I was growing up many people believed that Walt Disney had himself preserved for a future cure. People swore by the story, pre Internet, so fact checking was more difficult. Spoiler alert: he didn’t. The idea of freezing the body for the future is both fascinating and terrifying. Kate McGovern didn’t think through the cryopreservation lab, which froze bodies at the moment of death. Cancer kills the body and all it’s parts, including the organs. By the time the individual dies, almost nothing in the body works so unfreezing the cancer patient to cure the brain tumor wouldn’t be feasible if the rest of the body was shot. For the cryopreservation to work, it’s have to happen before the organs started to go, while the patient had a lot of life left to live.

FEAR OF MISSING OUT is a quick, enjoyable and flawed read.

[Stay Fetters · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We’re the ones who will be left behind to live with an Astrid-shaped hole in the universe. We don’t want to lose you before we have to. And it isn’t fair to ask us to.”

This will be one of the hardest books to review in my opinion. Astrid’s story hit really close to home and reminded me of how things went a short time ago. It brought so many emotions out of me that I wound up crying my eyes out but it also brought me comfort in knowing that no one is suffering any more.

Astrid thought that she was in remission but some serious symptoms send her back to the Doctor and she hears the devastating truth. Her cancer is back and they may have limited options. They can attempt chemo again and see if she qualifies for a clinical study but nothing is a promise.

When Astrid hears about this new scientific study, Cryopreservation, she is ready to learn more and travel to Arizona to see the facility. With the help of the internet and her vlog, crowd funding helps her, her boyfriend and best friend make their way to Arizona to do just that.

Astrid has a fear of missing out on life for the now and the future. Will this new break in science be the answer she’s looking for? Or will the inevitable take over?

This was devastating, beautiful, and it broke my heart all over again. No one really understands what goes through your mind when your life is controlled by an illness and this sheds a lot of light on that. I wanted a different outcome but that wouldn’t have been the honest truth.

Fear of Missing Out was a fantastic book but not for the unstable. If you recently lost someone to cancer, this may not be the right book to read right now. I’m saying this from experience because I felt as if I’m reliving that day all over again. But definitely give this book a try because it’s one of the best in this genre.

Just promise to live your life to the fullest and be happy.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

So good! I really like this book, but I just want to know did Astrid die? The book ends when she is getting worse, her cancer! I want her to live on, but???

[Rhegan]

So amazing!!!

[Cheyenne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐ CW: Cancer/terminal illness, discussion of assisted suicide/dying with dignity/palliative care

Fear of Missing Out by Kate McGovern is a stand alone YA Contemporary about a girl with a brain tumor called an astrocytoma and her struggle to be able to control just one thing in her life.

We follow Astrid as she realizes her tumor is back after already having gone through treatments once before. She decides to go on a road trip with her best friend Chloe and her boyfriend Mohit to Arizona to learn more about the Cryopreservation (where people can get their bodies or heads frozen after death a la Walt Disney)facility there. For Astrid, learning about Cryopreservation is a way to take control of her illness or at least her death.

There is a lot of discussion about dying with dignity and being able to die the way you choose to. We get to see how this affects everyone in Astrid's life, her friend, her boyfriend, her family. I liked her dynamic with Chloe, but I wished we had gotten more moments with her instead of Mohit. Not that I didn't like Mohit, I just liked Chloe better. It was also nice to see a South Asian love interest who plays jazz and has a surfer dude look to him.

The one thing I was disappointed about was that this was pitched as a road trip book, but there was very little in the way of the road trip. Luckily this had short chapters, so it was a quick read. Somehow I managed not to cry during this book even though it's a out a teen with cancer. Do with that information what you will.

[Natalie Allen · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this 0 stars then I would. I hated every moment of this book, the main character was so aggravating and I wanted to feel bad for her but I felt more irritated than anything. Honestly, I think the young-girl-with-cancer-I-can't-wait-to-die trope is so over done and it never comes across well.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should not have read this a week after my grandmother died from cancer. But this is a beautiful book.

[Jenna Cantino · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe even 2.5 stars. This book could've been so much more. And I kinda hated her boyfriend which was a strange feeling...

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 (the point five because it made me cry at the end which is stupid since I felt no attachment to the characters and literally nothing happened for 300 pages).

[Gabby Batelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This emotional book uses the point of view of a cancer-stricken teenage girl to show the way terminal illness affects the lives and minds of those afflicted with them. Astrid Ayeroff, the main character, was a 16-year-old girl from Boston who had a reoccurring brain tumor called an Astrocytoma. Although her mother and her boyfriend Mohit believed that she would beat the cancer that she had beat once before, she’s not too convinced, leaving her to consider another option- cryopreservation- the freezing of a dead body in hopes to revive it someday in the future. The contradicting feelings of all of the characters add a dramatic dynamic to the story that makes you want to keep reading. The way everything is described in such detail makes the story feel much more real, almost as if I’m living the story myself. Also, the fact that the main character was a teenage girl not much older than I am helped create sympathy that someone so young is meeting such an early demise. Knowing the thoughts of Astrid added a sort of intimacy as if you were reading her diary. The author generally did a great job of making the story seem almost tangible-like you could just reach out and touch the characters and visualize the setting.

In my opinion, the icing on the cake is the many diary-like lists of what Astrid will miss once she passes away. One writes, “Things I’ll miss when I’m dead(a partial list): The view from the top of the Bunker Hill Monument; Lying next to Mo and talking; Lying next to Mo and not talking; Mo’s Adam’s apple; Wondering what will happen next. To be continued.” (McGovern, 59.) The way Kate McGovern was able to write such a small list and still convey so many emotions shows her prominent style of writing. The way she uses vivid details and powerful figurative language throughout these lists and the rest of the book strongly helps make the story feel much more real (while displaying her author’s craft). I found myself relating to some of the main character’s feelings about life, love, and other teenage things. Personally, as someone who isn’t emotional when it comes to books or movies, this was the first book in a very long time that made me tear up with its morbidly inevitable ending. So, I’d definitely recommend this book, especially to teenagers, since they may be able to relate to some of her teenage struggles and sympathize with Astrid in the same way I did.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This emotional book reminds me of “the fault in our stars” . Hard to put down at times.

[Jocelyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book was so sad like so depressing. i read the summer rlly quick so i thought it was like totally different. buttttt it was so sad so ya would never read again

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow JUST WOW

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ooof. This book was hard. It hurt and it was beautiful.

I loved Astrid and how complicated she was and how she wasn't interested in pleasing others. I love that she has this team around her that loves her and supports her, but they're also selfish, so it gets complicated. I loved this story and how it unfolded and I only wish it was a little longer, so certain aspects had a little more time to play out.

At it's heart, this is a story about living by our own terms, making our own choices, and doing what's best for us before anyone else, because nobody else knows exactly what you're going through. That's a reminder I think we all need, even if we aren't dying.

[Han · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5 stars

Astrid is a 16 year old girl going through her second bout of cancer. She decides that it’s time for her to take charge and have a say in how she dies. The story follows Astrid on her journey to the end of her life, accompanied by her mother, brother, boyfriend and best friend, through plot lines involving things like vlogs to cryopreservation.

I had a lot of issues with the characters in this novel. Most of the characters are selfish and one dimensional. The characters that could use growth (Liam and Chloe) are deprived of it with little brother and best friend stereotypes. Chloe has many moments where I feel like they dropped lines and left out parts of her plot, which aggravates me a little bit. Many things are left unexplained, not in the good way.

Warning: possibly controversial topic
If you’re writing a book related to cancer/death, you immediately are comparing yourself to amazing authors with best sellers like the Fault in Our Stars, If I Stay or Me Before You, which have amazing, memorable characters. Astrid isn’t quite the memorable one in this situation. This book honestly felt like a mash up of only the depressing parts of those three novels. It just didn’t quite sparkle :(.

[AJ Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a beautifully written book! After I read it, I genuinely could not stop thinking about it for months. It took me a while to figure out just what I wanted to say about it.

I loved the author's writing style and how she handled the entire book. Books with teens having cancer is something I tend to avoid due to my severe health anxiety, but this one didn't set it off nearly as bad as some others have - including TFiOS, as much as I loved that one. It was extremely emotional, don't get me wrong. I cried so hard throughout the book, but it was written in such a way that I didn't start getting as fidgety as I usually do when cancer is one of the main topics in a book. It was so refreshing to be able to read this and not panic about my own possibility of getting it.

I really recommend this one to everyone - of course with some exceptions for people that may be triggered by it. It was so, so beautiful and heartfelt! It shows how grief not only can affects those directly dealing with something such as cancer, but how it affects everyone around them as well.

[Les · Rating 4 out of 5]

16 year old Astrid knows that she is dying. After spending 9 months battling a brain tumor she gets 2 years of relatively normal life before it came back with a vengeance. In that time she dedicated herself to science and understands what is happening far too well than anyone her age ever should. She has a boyfriend and dreams of a future as a scientist and now they're shattered.

She knows only too well that the chemo and other treatments will be even worse this time but they'd only be fighting a losing battle. However, her mother is an eternal optimist and pushes Astrid to get accepted into an experimental treatment program. What she seems totally unable to grasp, despite Astrid and her oncologist both trying to tell her, is that the experimental treatment isn't a cure. It would only buy her some time, she might be in the control group that gets the placebo so she wouldn't benefit from any breakthrough, and that sometimes experimental programs are even harsher on the recipients than established treatment protocols.

[As an aside, I will note that the last statement is absolutely true. My mother was in an experimental protocol for colon cancer after other treatments failed, and it was so debilitating that she dropped out of the study and elected hospice instead].

But she agrees to apply just to appease her mother, because she feels guilty about subjecting her to so much by herself. Her father is an absolute total fuckwit. He decided to divorce when Astrid was 12 because his calling was to live off the grid in Arizona, living in a commune and avoiding modern conveniences. Which is fine, if that's what floats your boat, but that doesn't give him the right to insinuate that Astrid got her brain cancer because of television and microwave exposure. Needless to say, there's no love lost between daughter and dad over that asshat comment.

So Astrid is still weighing her options when she meets a young scientist who is working in the field of cryopreservation - literally freezing her entire body, or just her brain, in hopes of one day being able to revive and cure her. He invites her to come visit their facility someday and see if it is the right choice for her.

Unfortunately, the facility is in Arizona and she lives in the northeast. The process also costs about $30k and they're strapped after paying all of her medical bills. But her BFF talks her into creating a vlog to get people to donate; even if she can't raise enough for the process then maybe at least they'll get enough for her to satisfy her scientific curiosity and visit the facility.

Her boyfriend and mother are both opposed to the idea of her travelling cross-country, but her BFF's mom has an RV she's willing to let them use and Astrid convinces her mother that she's entitled to one great adventure since there are so many things she'll likely never get a chance to experience. Her boyfriend reluctantly comes along. He and BFF don't get along so it's a real challenge for them to be in a vehicle together for several days together. As they leave Astrid can already feel her body weakening from the cancer's faster than usual growth.

Along the way they stop at a couple of kitschy roadside attractions before hitting Arizona and dropping by to see Daddy Dearest. Things don't go well, in part due to a surprise I won't spoil.

Then they finally get to the facility and meet the director and take the nickle tour. It's a combination of fascinating and horrifying, but his enthusiasm over Astrid as a potential future resident there grates on her boyfriend's last nerve on the subject.

So the return trip starts with everyone's nerves on edge. He can't believe she's even thinking about it while her interest is more clinical than enthusiastic; she isn't committing just wanting to get all the facts.

Don't want to say too much more because it would result in spoilers, but suffice to say that Astrid decides what she wants and defends it to her family and friends.

Tough novel that pulls no punches; you know at the start that there will be no miracles for her. Astrid is a likable character, although her constant gallows humor about her impending fate wears on her mother's nerves. And she has an encyclopedic knowledge of what is happening now and will happen in the future as her body begins to fail due to the relentless cancer. And without giving away anything I'd agree that she made the right choice given the circumstances of her particular situation.

[Ashlee S · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book Fear of Missing Out is by Kate McGovern, the lexile level is 720L. It is about a teenage girl Astrid who learns her cancer is back after two years of treatment. She looks up a research for when she dies Cryopreservation, she thinks that she can be part of science by doing it. But she has not told her mother about it. Her doctor thinks that a trial will help get rid of the tumor. So she goes with it for her brother and does some tests to see if she can qualify for the trial. She started a vlog to try and get some money for her cryopreservation. She goes on a trip to Kansas to see a Cryopreservation Facility with her boyfriend Mohit and her friend Chloe. They visit monuments on their way there. They go to her dad’s house out in basically the middle of nowhere. When they visit they get a tour and some information about a new study they are working on to bring back humans from the dead. On their way back she has a seizure and gets put into an induced coma. She posts a video on her vlog saying that she is going to refuse medical treatment. When her mother finds out she gets mad, and her father comes and tries to support Astrid with her decision but they end up fighting. In the end Astrid goes home and refuses the treatment and her tumor gets worse and worse until she can’t move part of the body by herself. She spends the time while she can with Mohit, Chloe and her brother. The seizures get longer and worse each time.
A theme for Fear of Missing Out would be “Do what you can while you're able otherwise you're gonna regret it when you can’t do it”. It develops throughout the story when Astrid’s tumor starts getting bigger and the symptoms start getting worse. She thinks about the things she could have done with her friends and Mohit. She feels like she should have done more with her life while she could’ve when she can barely move. She feels like if she does this Cryopreservation thing that where would her family and friends be when and if she wakes up, like how old her brother would be, how old Mohit and Chloe would be. When she refuses treatment in the end she starts to regret and to think how her family and friends would feel when she is gone. In the end Astrid spends her time with her brother and his friends are saying things about her so she talks with him about it.
The book was not too hard but not too easy either. There were some words I struggled with. It wasn’t really predictable throughout the story because you never know if Astrid is gonna be okay or not. I didn’t like the ending, I think she should’ve tried the trial to see if she qualified and if it worked for her she could’ve lived the life she wanted. She shouldn’t have given up on it. I think there was a chance that she would have survived if she did the trial. I think she should’ve tried different chemos/tests to see if she can get better and not just refuse medical treatment. My favorite part is when Astrid takes a chance with the trial and does the tests to see if she can qualify. I recommend this book to students who like science because there are quite a few things that relate to science since Astrid was into the science factor. I also recommend this book to students who feel like giving up on life. This book has the meaning of do what you can that is good for you while you can still do it. Don’t be wasting life when you could have your whole life in front of you. Most people don’t have that choice because of an illness or disease. The book represents a person's life with a terrible type of cancer and how she regrets not being able to do the things that she wanted to do.

[Annie Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Yes, my tumor matches my name”
After two years of remission, Astrid’s worst nightmare returned. Astrocytoma, in human words a brain tumor aka brain cancer. Astrid knows, deep in her bones that this is her time, that this is her last time.

“Things that I’ll miss when I’m dead(a partial list):
The view from the top of the Bunker Hill Monument
Lying next to Mo and talking
Lying next to Mo not talking
Mo’s Adam’s apple
Wondering what will happen next.

To be continued.”

Astrid is a high school student in Boston. She lives a semi normal life, she has a sweet boyfriend named Mohit, a younger brother named Liam, a best friend named Chloe, and a supportive mother that cares a little too much about Astrid’s health. Her father on the other hand, moved to Arizona to get away from all of the technology, and new advancements. So he basically lives rouge.

The day after Astrid is diagnosed with Astrocytoma, for the second time, her mother takes her to a convention with trial studies for the brain tumor Astrocytoma. In the 20th century, you can imagine all of the crazy ideas that are there. While walking around the convention, Astrid runs into Dr. Carl Vaderwalt, who is presenting a trial called cryopreservation, “ It’s the science of body preservation. It’s the future.” After this sentence in the book, I could never put the book down. This sentence, this interaction changed the book, it made me feel frustrated, and remorse at the same time.
Cryopreservation is the practice of after you die, a scientific study takes your body right away and freezes it to preserve your body. What this ends in is your body is kept in a facility until a cure for your illness is found. Astrid takes interest in this trail study and attempts to pursue to convince her mother, and her boyfriend, who is always supposed to be on her side. Everyone’s opinion affects her own, and through tough decisions, fights, and issues, she makes her decision on a journey of a lifetime with her friends. When she made that decision, I was in awe of her strength. I was in awe of her ability to make a decision that could affect everyone in her life. I was in awe, in loss of words.

Fear of Being Left Out had me up at all hours of the night, and it had me so upset that I didn’t want to read it but I couldn’t get myself to put my book down. But within all of that, I was dissatisfied with the ending. I won’t give it away for you don’t worry. The ending makes you use your imagination, it was a straight cut ending. So with all of those late nights from reading the book, I now stay up at night wondering about what happened, how did it happen, why did it happen?


Kate McGovern has written one other young adult novel that was published in 2015, Rules For 50/50 Chances, which was called a “standout contemporary read”. She is a graduate of Yale, and Oxford. Kate now teaches middle school students in places such as Boston, New York, and London.

“My tumor made of stars. The view from here is beautiful.”

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband would say that I definitely have a huge case of FOMO or the fear of missing out. Not usually on fun things...it's more like a fear of missing opportunities. I worry that I have to do things now or I won't get another chance at them later.

But Kate McGovern's YA novel Fear of Missing Out is all about missing out on life. The main character, Astrid, is a junior in high school and she has already managed to beat cancer once. But when she finds out the tumor in her brain has returned, she realizes that this year might be her last. While her family and friends push her to participate in a clinical trial that might give her a better chance at prolonging her life, Astrid feels passionately that she should just make the most of the time she has left.

She even goes as far as researching the experimental technology of cryopreservation--freezing her body at the moment of death in the hopes that at some future time she could be thawed and cured. For fear of missing out on everything life has to offer, Astrid goes with her best friend, Chloe, and her boyfriend, Mohit, on a cross-country road trip to see the sites she has always wanted to see and decide whether her possibilities are worth it.

Astrid is faced with some really difficult things--that even adults have a hard time coming to terms with. As Astrid's health fades, her mom, her brother, and her friends start to realize what life might be like once Astrid is gone and what that means for their own lives. Will they be able to move on? How will they deal with grief? Etc. I think that McGovern did a great job at truly showing how teenagers might deal with these sorts of ideas.

A few other reviews I read of this book mention that they don't like the relationship between Mohit and Astrid but I think that the way that Mohit reacts to a lot of things that happen in the book is legitimate. What 16 year old boy wouldn't handle the imminent death of his girlfriend poorly and stumble through a relationship like that? Even her best friend, Chloe, has her moments where she seemingly can't handle what is placed on her shoulders.

I will tell you...this book is sad. Especially as Astrid's health is declining, it can start to remind us of our own friends and family members who have dealt with death or sickness. But I promise that this book is also beautiful! It reminds us of the importance of life and taking every second that we can get. Astrid takes the time to list so many of the things that she will miss when she is gone. Things like cheeseburgers, the view from the top of the Bunker Hill monument, the smell of sunscreen, Netflix, and dozens of other things.

I think this is a great YA fiction book for anyone who also has a fear of missing out on life. It does a great job of addressing themes of love, friendship, loss, death, and sickness.

[reenie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was expecting a The Fault in Our Stars situation, but I actually really enjoyed this book, even if the ending devastated me. Cliffhangers, much? They Both Die at the End and Fear of Missing Out are really similar towards their ending.

I expected an astronomy-themed book because of the introduction, but I'm kinda disappointed that it was not explored further. During the last second half of the book, I got serious Me Before You vibes.

Fear of Missing Out is the perfect combination of science-fiction and realistic-fiction. I really love how Ms. Kate McGovern explored cryogenics, which is something that most people don't know but is a fascinating topic for the future of science. The variety of characters and perspectives is brilliant because it kept the story interesting. It was a quietly devastating novel especially when Mohit and Chloe open up about their future loss of their best friend.

Astrid mildly irked me, but I admire her strength and wisdom beyond her years due to her unfortunate circumstances. I like how the novel is a smooth combination between old and new clichés, and it was short and sweet enough that I was able to read it in under 24 hours. I like how Astrid kept it open about her feelings towards death, not focusing only on the fear and uncertainty behind dying so young. I love how it was realistic and wasn't cookie-cutter.

I love that Ms. Kate McGovern didn't focus solely on love declarations between Mohit and Astrid after Astrid's terminal diagnosis. Their relationship is dysfunctional. Included in the short novel are snippets between Astrid's relationships with her family and friends following the diagnosis.

Happy Monday! Hope your day is going well. And if it isn't, I hope that tomorrow or sometime in the near future, it gets better. Because I promise that it will. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.

Do things that make you happy, and above else, amor omnia vincent.

with love forever,
Reenie
💋

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sixteen-year-old Astrid Ayeroff knows all the signs that something is wrong again. Having beaten astrocytoma, a form of brain cancer, a couple of years back, she's not sure she has it in her to go back through the treatment and uncertainty. When she learns of a new procedure called cryopreservation, which would freeze her body until a cure could be found, she seizes onto this idea as a lifeline of sorts. If this procedure worked, then maybe she could live a full life later on. With her best friend Chloe and boyfriend Mohit, she heads off on a cross-country trip to Arizona where the cryo facility is. It's clear from the start that Astrid is failing fast, and teen readers will relate to her desperate desire not to miss out on life. But what if the life she wants to savor is passing her by every day even while she's trying to figure out her next steps. It's easy to understand how hard it would be for her mother to want to let her go and make her own choices about how she's going to live or die, and readers may be surprised with her ultimate choice. The sections describing what she'll miss and her vlog posts are particularly poignant and may prompt some readers to reflect on what they'd miss as well as whether they are seizing every moment offered to them right now and making the most of it. This won't be an easy book to read, and I would expect that it will prompt plenty of discussions over her choice as readers ask themselves what they would have done in Astrid's situation. It might not be John Green The Fault in Our Stars sob-worthy, but it comes close.

[Ragan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger warning- assisted suicide talk

This book was so emotional. It was emotional like the fault in our stars. And perfect for fans of five feet apart. I very much could see the resemblance of the two books, which the whole dying, boyfriend, and YouTube channel thing going on. But, on other news, it’s a very quick read, seeing that I read it in hours.

I enjoyed this book to say the least. it was a little all over the place, with all the traveling and the home and school life.

I wished the romance was talked about more. There was two parts where they kissed and actual felt something for each other. It’s very hard to think that these two people are together, and a high school couple and all the couples in real life, are always kissing and what not.

Mo annoyed me to death. He was so in love with Astrid, it all he did was complain and say what she was doing was stupid or wrong. He knew that she was dying, but he still wanted to play with his sax.

Chloe was by far the best person. She tried to help Astrid in more ways then possible. She created a whole channel and a fundraiser to help her and do what she wants.

Half the time, Astrid was annoyed with her mom, which is understandable, but Astrid was also overreacting. She created a whole YouTube channel with out her mother’s Choice. I fully understand why she wanted to spend time with Astrid, since her oldest child is dying of cancer and everything.

[max · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you read the synopsis, like I didn't, you would've already known this book was a terminal illness cliche similar to that of the Fault in Our Stars or Five Feet Apart, with its own unique twist: cryopreservation. Ironically, the cryopreservation doesn't end up having a major impact other than philosophically and metaphorically - our MC, Astrid, does not choose this route, however it helps her to come to terms with her decision regarding life/death. To be fair, I think this book could've lost the cryopreservation part, and delved more so into the final roadtrip and the list of things Astrid would miss. However, it makes this book stand out from the others - not in a totally jaw dropping, film producing way like similar books, but well enough. The book was a quick tear jerker, heartfelt novel. I do wish Astrid wasn't able to win people over so quickly, as realistically, most pre-grieving mothers are not going to turn around and decide to let their child turn to palliative care after only a week of consideration. The characters were all enjoyable, especially her younger brother and the way he was processing her looming death. I appreciated how the storyline looped back around to Aiden Wallace. Either way, overall it was an average book that one might feel the smallest tug on the heart strings from, but you're set to be done with the emotional turmoil and book itself rather quickly.

[Kaytlin Jessup · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book literally killed me frm the inside because the main character, Astrid, has brain cancer so she pretty much is dying. Well she finds out about the freezing a body until future time where there is a cure.

Astrid after finding out a few things, changes her mind and now wants to die. To stop fighting cancer. Well, the mom isn't happy about it, Astrid changes her mind after she has a seizure on the way back from Arizona (That was where the lab was located, where she found the info.) After some time ahe gets more seizures to the point she is in a wheelchair.


Astrid wants to die on her own terms. After a while the mother eventually agrees in the end after taking her meds that helps her sleep (just by pushing a button,) she falls asleep though it doesn't say if she woke up the next morning but one of the things that she had said she would miss after she died was beautiful sights and I knew she ment like seeing a sunset type view.


Astrid is a fighter, a girl who speaks up for herself and others, a girl who has dealt with so much but asks for so little. A girl who shined like a star.

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

New twist on the dying teen genre. Sixteen-year-old Astrid was diagnosed two years previous with a brain tumor but treatment was successful - at least in the short run. It's returned and success this time is looking unlikely. Because of her dream of being a scientist and her chance of being admitted to a trial study, Astrid and her mom attend a conference of neuroscientists. She comes across a display from an Arizona company experimenting with cryopreservation. Astrid becomes obsessed with the idea of being able to participate in scientific research, even if she is not able to be rejuvenated.

She's able to persuade her mother to let her go on a road trip with her best friend and boyfriend to tour the facility, making a side trip to visit her dad who lives in an off-the-grid commune with his young wife.

Lots of information on cancer treatment and cryopreservation are presented, relationship issues with divorced parents, siblings, friends, and first love. All adds up to turn this into a movie, I'm guessing.

[Romantic Intentions Quarterly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astrid is dying. Her astrocytoma has returned after a period of remission, and this time she knows her time is drawing to an end. This novel is beautifully and thoughtfully written, exploring the different options available to her, and the reactions of her family and friends to the choices she makes over the ones they want her to make. In the author’s note, Kate McGovern writes that she became a mother during the writing of this story, and it shows, with inflections and insight that make the emotions visceral for the reader. McGovern could perhaps have delved a little more deeply into Astrid’s rationale for and against certain options, and the ending bypasses this to a small extent, but that is a small quibble with an otherwise outstanding novel intended for young adults, but that is perfectly accessible to all readers. – Megan Osmond

This review appears in Romantic Intentions Quarterly #4.

[Elizabeth Mellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a difficult one but, I think, important. I chose this because it was coming out and on my want to read list, and the library had it. And then my grandma died, which was horrible and left me reading as much as possible to try to distract myself. As I got towards the end of what I had checked out, this one was left, and I decided to give it a go - giving myself permission from the get go to put it down as soon as it was too hard.

Astrid's struggle to deal with her illness on her own terms, though much younger, was something familiar to what I have just gone through. Her friends and family are struggling, some able to be more supportive than others. Mohit was so mean to her sometimes that I struggled to understand the romance. The vlogging/roadtrip aspect wasn't my favorite, but I stayed interested to see what would happen with the possibility of cryogenics. Overall, I'd recommend this.