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144 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2017
I moved to this district near the border so that I could spend most of my time alone and so that I could live according to several rules that I had for long wanted to live by.
I got some of my schooling from a certain order of religious brothers, a band of men who dressed each in a black soutane with a bib of white celluloid at his throat. I learned by chance last year, and fifty years since I last saw anyone wearing such a thing, that the white bib was called a rabat and was a symbol of chastity.
…men travelled throughout England during the years of the Commonwealth smashing stained-glass windows. The men stood on ladders and used staves or axes to smash the glass. They reported in their diaries the names of each church that they visited and the numbers of windows that they smashed. They declared often in the diaries that they were doing the work of the Lord or promoting his glory.
Two months ago, when I first arrived in this township just short of the border, I resolved to guard my eyes, and I could not think of going on with this piece of writing unless I were to explain how I came by that odd expression.Of course I had to know. Within a few paragraphs we discover a man in late middle age who has retreated, who seems to have always been retreating, from the world around him, his imagination caught by colors, particulary the colored light cast by stained glass. Something quite banal is suddenly luminous, pulsing with intimations that call to mind (deliberately, I assume) Proust’s rapture over that “tiny patch of yellow wall” in Vermeer’s “View of Delft.” The pressing reason the writer must “guard his eyes” is to capture such intimations before they evanescence.
I moved to this district near the border so that I could spend most of my time alone and so that I could live according to several rules that I had for long wanted to live by. I mentioned earlier that I guard my eyes. I do this so that I might be more alert to what appears at the edges of my range of vision; so that I might notice at once any sight so much in need of my inspection that one or more of its details seems to quiver or to be agitated until I have the illusion that I am being signaled or winked at. Another rule requires me to record whatever sequences of images occur to me after I have turned my attention to the signaling or winking detail.Notice the contradiction: this secular mysticism is anchored in what he acknowledges as illusion.