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Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating
A step-by-step holistic approach to eating disorder recovery, using self-compassion and embodiment practices to reduce symptoms, increase body awareness and acceptance, reconnect to others, and step back into an integrated lifeThose who struggle with disordered eating often find themselves in an unrelenting cycle of harsh self-judgment, painful emotions, and harmful behaviors. Seeing the body as an adversary, these patterns can lead many people to become withdrawn or isolated. Ann Saffi Biasetti’s powerful holistic approach to liberating people from disordered eating focuses on growing self-compassion and embodiment. This insight, informed by yoga and mindfulness meditation, views the body not just as something to be healed or restored but as a source of great wisdom and knowledge. Dr. Biasetti offers yoga-based movement, body-awareness practices, meditations, and journaling exercises to help release long-held habits of self-criticism and perfectionism. Her step-by-step program will rebuild self-compassion, self-care, body awareness, acceptance, and connection to the self and to others.
169 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 7, 2018
114 people are currently reading
433 people want to read
About the author
Ann Saffi Biasetti
3 books3 followersI have been a practicing Psychotherapist for 27 years. I hold a PhD in Transpersonal Psychology and am licensed as a Clinical Social Worker. I maintain a private practice in Saratoga Springs, New York where I specialize in embodied psychotherapy and eating disorder recovery. I am also a certified yoga therapist, yoga teacher, and embodiment teacher. I am a certified mindfulness and self-compassion teacher/trainer and author. Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating, is my first book and based on my Doctoral research.
It explores a different view of recovery. I encourage you as the reader to not just read the book but to engage in all the practices for the full benefit.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
May 12, 2019
TLDR: Read the book. Answer the questions. Give yourself the time and focus to do the practices. It’s worth every moment.
When I started this book, I was unsure of what I was looking for. What I found was myself.
(I was lucky enough to be part of an 8 week group program based on this book, led by Dr. Ann Saffi Biasetti. The book alone is powerful and invites you to dig deep to embrace yourself in all of your beautiful human messiness. The group changed me and every person I have close contact with, for the better.)
While the book and program are aimed at people with disordered food behaviors, the person as a whole is the focus, which was essential for me in particular.
The book opens with the idea that you and your body need not be diametrically opposed. Your body leads your mind. When you stop fighting your body and start getting to know the unique sensations your body experiences, you begin to understand and befriend your body. This process seems like it would be difficult. It is, but not in the way you would expect. While gently allowing your whole self to just be and learn to read, feel, and communicate with your body; something strange happens. You find that you are not able to be angry with, at war with, or harmful to your body; much in the same way that you would be kinder to a friend in need.
In this new shift, you learn that, “Your body never meant to cause you distress or harm.” (Chapter 3). This seemingly simple concept was something I’d never considered. This statement changed my life.
Once you experience how your body feels and understand that your body is doing its very best to carry you where you need to be, it is impossible to get lost in disordered behaviors. The behaviors cannot sustain you the way they used to, because you are no longer disconnected from yourself.
While learning to live in your body more, you find yourself processing stress and emotions in real time, rather than on a delay. This is disconcerting at first, because delaying emotional processing is a large piece of (my) disordered behavior. Processing “live” requires a new set of interpersonal and social skills. Being who you are and feeling what you feel in the moment feels vulnerable, terrifying even!
With a bit of practice in a supportive environment, I found that containing and processing my emotions as they were happening was immensely empowering. Enabling me to embrace me authentic self has lifted the haze of self loathing and helped me evolve into a healthier, happier, human being.
“Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating” Has freed me from something far more valuable to me than disordered eating. It’s freed me from thinking and feeling that I only deserved a disordered, half full life.
If you’ve made it this far into my long-winded review, it’ll be well worth your time to read the book.
Here’s a personal note that may help others in situations that don’t quite fit in a diagnostic checkbox, for folks who aren’t sure if a book written for eating disorders can help them:
I’ve lived with disordered behaviors my entire life and always chalked it up to some form of addictive personality trait. I knew I had unhealthy food habits, but was never diagnosed or labeled with an eating disorder. I live with diseases that cause pain & fatigue; symptoms that evolved into an open disdain for my body and the belief that my body had failed or betrayed me in some way.
As I write this review, weeks after the last time I opened the book, I am experiencing the intense, demobilizing symptoms of small fiber neuropathy. It’s important to note this because I’m having an unpleasant day and my state of mind and peaceful balance were achieved through the knowledge I gained from reading “Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating”.
When I started this book, I was unsure of what I was looking for. What I found was myself.
(I was lucky enough to be part of an 8 week group program based on this book, led by Dr. Ann Saffi Biasetti. The book alone is powerful and invites you to dig deep to embrace yourself in all of your beautiful human messiness. The group changed me and every person I have close contact with, for the better.)
While the book and program are aimed at people with disordered food behaviors, the person as a whole is the focus, which was essential for me in particular.
The book opens with the idea that you and your body need not be diametrically opposed. Your body leads your mind. When you stop fighting your body and start getting to know the unique sensations your body experiences, you begin to understand and befriend your body. This process seems like it would be difficult. It is, but not in the way you would expect. While gently allowing your whole self to just be and learn to read, feel, and communicate with your body; something strange happens. You find that you are not able to be angry with, at war with, or harmful to your body; much in the same way that you would be kinder to a friend in need.
In this new shift, you learn that, “Your body never meant to cause you distress or harm.” (Chapter 3). This seemingly simple concept was something I’d never considered. This statement changed my life.
Once you experience how your body feels and understand that your body is doing its very best to carry you where you need to be, it is impossible to get lost in disordered behaviors. The behaviors cannot sustain you the way they used to, because you are no longer disconnected from yourself.
While learning to live in your body more, you find yourself processing stress and emotions in real time, rather than on a delay. This is disconcerting at first, because delaying emotional processing is a large piece of (my) disordered behavior. Processing “live” requires a new set of interpersonal and social skills. Being who you are and feeling what you feel in the moment feels vulnerable, terrifying even!
With a bit of practice in a supportive environment, I found that containing and processing my emotions as they were happening was immensely empowering. Enabling me to embrace me authentic self has lifted the haze of self loathing and helped me evolve into a healthier, happier, human being.
“Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating” Has freed me from something far more valuable to me than disordered eating. It’s freed me from thinking and feeling that I only deserved a disordered, half full life.
If you’ve made it this far into my long-winded review, it’ll be well worth your time to read the book.
Here’s a personal note that may help others in situations that don’t quite fit in a diagnostic checkbox, for folks who aren’t sure if a book written for eating disorders can help them:
I’ve lived with disordered behaviors my entire life and always chalked it up to some form of addictive personality trait. I knew I had unhealthy food habits, but was never diagnosed or labeled with an eating disorder. I live with diseases that cause pain & fatigue; symptoms that evolved into an open disdain for my body and the belief that my body had failed or betrayed me in some way.
As I write this review, weeks after the last time I opened the book, I am experiencing the intense, demobilizing symptoms of small fiber neuropathy. It’s important to note this because I’m having an unpleasant day and my state of mind and peaceful balance were achieved through the knowledge I gained from reading “Befriending Your Body: A Self-Compassionate Approach to Freeing Yourself from Disordered Eating”.
April 10, 2018
I also received this book as an advanced reader's copy dealing with the high demand of patron requests for more meditation and yoga books in our BF and R Non-Fiction collection. One thing I particularly liked is that after each lesson, Ann Saffi Biasetti included an exercise to apply what you have learned giving the reader practice and seeing the results for themselves rather than reading through a different point of view relating to someone else's results and experiences. Our reader's will be very intrigued by this book and I can't wait to add it to the cart. 5 stars!
August 13, 2018
This book is a must read for ANYONE with a history of an eating disorder. I LOVE everything it embodies and teaches because I know how integral self-compassion is to recovery. As the founder of the popular media site Recovery Warriors, I've seen hundreds of books on recovery. None even come close to covering self-compassion to the degree and depth Dr. Biasetti does. Self-compassion is truly a healing balm and Dr. Ann's wisdom and experiential exercises help you apply it to your painful relationship to food and body.
January 16, 2023
Gesund werden ist nicht einfach. Weder körperlich, noch seelisch. Es ist ein harter Kampf und oft scheint es einfacher zu sein, einfach aufzugeben. Zum Glück gibt es Bücher wie dieses hier, das einen an der Hand nimmt und Wege aus der Dunkelheit zeigen.
Ann Saffi Biasetti erzählt aus eigener Erfahrung und von jener ihrer Schützlinge, sie führt uns vor Augen, weshalb aufgeben keine Option ist und lehrt uns Techniken, die uns in den schwersten Zeiten Hilfe und Geborgenheit geben.
Alleine scheint der Weg zur Heilung unmöglich und viel zu steinig und steil. Aber mit der korrekten Hilfe erhalten wir zumindest das korrekte Schuhweg, um diesen Pfad zu gehen. Denn wir können es schaffen und es ist der einzig richtige Weg.
Die Lektüre von "Befriending Your Body" ist ein weiterer hilfreicher Wegweiser auf unserer Reise zu einem vollständigen und gesunden Leben.
Ann Saffi Biasetti erzählt aus eigener Erfahrung und von jener ihrer Schützlinge, sie führt uns vor Augen, weshalb aufgeben keine Option ist und lehrt uns Techniken, die uns in den schwersten Zeiten Hilfe und Geborgenheit geben.
Alleine scheint der Weg zur Heilung unmöglich und viel zu steinig und steil. Aber mit der korrekten Hilfe erhalten wir zumindest das korrekte Schuhweg, um diesen Pfad zu gehen. Denn wir können es schaffen und es ist der einzig richtige Weg.
Die Lektüre von "Befriending Your Body" ist ein weiterer hilfreicher Wegweiser auf unserer Reise zu einem vollständigen und gesunden Leben.
December 7, 2022
I’ve been on a health journey for a while and this journey has involved a lot of dietary changes. First gluten-free, then dairy-free, then sugar-free and now, low carbohydrate, too, all in a quest to feel better. But in that process of using food as medicine, I noticed that food was starting to control me rather than feeling in control of how I ate for wellness. This book is getting me back on track. It’s a beautiful introduction to a new way of thinking about our bodies, our minds and our health. Filled with the science I need to understand and the practical exercises to actually bring about positive change, this book is sending me on a new journey: one guided by my body and how it feels, my mind and how it thinks and the connection between the two. This is a beautiful book for all women everywhere.
December 28, 2018
Befriending Your Body is a life-changing book filled with incredible wisdom detailing the healing process from any type of disordered eating. I’ve read many books attempting to find something that would compassionately guide me on this difficult journey and see me as a whole person, rather than broken. This book is the one!
Befriending Your Body is written to make readers feel as though Dr. Biasetti is having a conversation with them. It includes many exercises and reflections to help begin to reconnect with the body, and then, teaches readers to deepen their connection. It also provides a path to discover inner wisdom and self-compassion, both essential tools to authentic healing.
Befriending Your Body offers many guided meditations and reflections throughout the book. A companion MP3/Audible version of these would be my one important recommendation. Hearing these spoken by the author would allow readers to have a fully embodied experience. I imagine many readers would welcome a recorded version due to the nature of the book.
I would suggest readers work in conjunction with a therapist as they complete the exercises. If a therapist is not an option, I would encourage people to read in a group setting as connecting with others is fundamental to healing.
After reading the book, I have noticed big changes in my life and recovery. I am frequently returning to my body for wisdom on what I need in the moment, I use my breath to guide me, and my self-compassion is the strongest it has ever been. I feel incredibly connected to my body and am so much more accepting of it. I am taking care of my body in the best way I can rather than adhering to society’s mandates about my body. Trying to live by cultural norms only immersed me further into disordered eating.
I am forever grateful for Dr. Biasetti’s ground-breaking work in the field of disordered eating. It is my hope that her approach become commonplace in the treatment of eating disorders.
Befriending Your Body is written to make readers feel as though Dr. Biasetti is having a conversation with them. It includes many exercises and reflections to help begin to reconnect with the body, and then, teaches readers to deepen their connection. It also provides a path to discover inner wisdom and self-compassion, both essential tools to authentic healing.
Befriending Your Body offers many guided meditations and reflections throughout the book. A companion MP3/Audible version of these would be my one important recommendation. Hearing these spoken by the author would allow readers to have a fully embodied experience. I imagine many readers would welcome a recorded version due to the nature of the book.
I would suggest readers work in conjunction with a therapist as they complete the exercises. If a therapist is not an option, I would encourage people to read in a group setting as connecting with others is fundamental to healing.
After reading the book, I have noticed big changes in my life and recovery. I am frequently returning to my body for wisdom on what I need in the moment, I use my breath to guide me, and my self-compassion is the strongest it has ever been. I feel incredibly connected to my body and am so much more accepting of it. I am taking care of my body in the best way I can rather than adhering to society’s mandates about my body. Trying to live by cultural norms only immersed me further into disordered eating.
I am forever grateful for Dr. Biasetti’s ground-breaking work in the field of disordered eating. It is my hope that her approach become commonplace in the treatment of eating disorders.
February 8, 2021
4 and 1/2 stars. For a little book this has big ideas. The concept of self compassion and the spiral of recovery hit the nail on the head for me. Am I cured of overeating after the five days it took me to read this book and do about half the exercises? No. Does it deserve a reread? Yes. Has self care improved already? Yes. Can I see promise here? Yes. Do I recommend it? Yes, to those with an open mind and the willingness to do the work suggested.
A refreshingly positive approach to a life long problem which is not the food but the self harm of eating too much and the lack of self care and compassion. No diet will fix that. Not expecting miracles of being size 8 tomorrow or next month but am expecting improvement in self respect and self care.
Holding back the half star is because overeating should be at least as emphasized as anorexia and purging in the hierarchy of self harm. More people die from the consequences of overeating ( heart disease, diabetes, etc,) than the more publicized eating disorders, but the roots are the same.
A refreshingly positive approach to a life long problem which is not the food but the self harm of eating too much and the lack of self care and compassion. No diet will fix that. Not expecting miracles of being size 8 tomorrow or next month but am expecting improvement in self respect and self care.
Holding back the half star is because overeating should be at least as emphasized as anorexia and purging in the hierarchy of self harm. More people die from the consequences of overeating ( heart disease, diabetes, etc,) than the more publicized eating disorders, but the roots are the same.
May 27, 2019
really good book on self-compassion and embodiment in eating disorder treatment/recovery. i loved all the meditations, questions, and yoga practices. i have already used some of them in my work as an eating disorder therapist and i know this is a book i will keep reaching for over and over.
September 18, 2022
This book is incredibly boring, but I did learn a lot from it. The baseline is to be kind to yourself, and what I learned most from this statement is not to allow that to be an excuse - as a way of rewarding bad behaviour. An example of being kind to your body would be "I'm not going to buy that tub of ice cream because that isn't kind to my body." The other main thing I learned is to listen to your body - don't focus on what the surface looks like, but more on what you feel on the inside. It will tell you what you need and what you don't, so don't ignore the cues. I was also able to look in to my past and walk through some trauma and essentially accept that I didn't know any better regarding past mistakes, and neither did the people guiding me at the time. But, it is time to break the wheel and grow from these mistakes, to accept them as they are and move on. We never stop learning and growing. I appreciated the body acceptance promoted in this book.
The thing I still struggle with the most is, now that I understand these statements, it is still hard to put them in to practice. Just because I know and understand the facts doesn't make me any less fearful of the emotions that happen when we face reality. We can decipher when someone is being mean and acknowledge that that behaviour is wrong and not to take things personally, but the emotions of dealing with a mean person still hurts. The flip side of that is these emotions are okay and would we rather be completely numb and not feel anything? Perhaps it is important to feel this hurt... I just don't like it, ha!
The thing I still struggle with the most is, now that I understand these statements, it is still hard to put them in to practice. Just because I know and understand the facts doesn't make me any less fearful of the emotions that happen when we face reality. We can decipher when someone is being mean and acknowledge that that behaviour is wrong and not to take things personally, but the emotions of dealing with a mean person still hurts. The flip side of that is these emotions are okay and would we rather be completely numb and not feel anything? Perhaps it is important to feel this hurt... I just don't like it, ha!
March 3, 2024
I am not someone who has ever had an eating disorder, and I still found this book to be quite helpful. All women have struggled at one time or another with their body image, and would benefit from the practices in this book. As a breast cancer survivor, who also works with this population, there are many tools in here that would be helpful for us. Honestly, I can see these steps helping most of population with a variety of struggles…mindfulness, self compassion, self love…these are things we all need to cultivate and nurture in our lives.
December 16, 2019
Ann Saffi Biasetti uses the approach of compassion and embodiment to help people heal disordered eating. After explaining the step by step concepts she offers reflective questions, yoga, and mindfulness meditations to enhance the embodiment process. She provides a gentle approach with the hopes of preparing one to return home to themselves and eventually to the elusive self-love. Added to my short list of "must reads" for my clients.
September 30, 2019
I am going through recovery right now and was recommend this book and have had the chance to take a few classes with anne and she is amazing. The book taught me to get to know my body more, tuning in and noticing the sensation , forgiveness and compassion.if you are going through a disconnection with your body I highly recommend this book.
March 26, 2025
A must read for anyone working with people who struggle with disordered eating habits. This book and her approach allows for a self-compassionate path toward recovery and healing, emphasizing our humanness instead of diagnosis.
September 21, 2022
Kind and lovely book
July 2, 2023
A fresh, novel approach to ED recovery. embracing embodiment and trust and not focused on ED behaviours. Useful for people who are committed to recovery but need a fresh perspective.
January 13, 2024
Wonderful self-care practices and thoughtful prompts in each chapter. Highly recommend for anyone yearning to heal their relationship with food through self compassion and practice.
April 17, 2018
Thank you Edelweiss for a chance to read this book. I am on the hunt for all things body positive. I'm so overwhelmingly exhausted of our culture telling people that they need to look a certain way, that they need to tone up or get smoother skin or buy these pants etc. Too much has been stressed on how you look as being important and if you look a certain way you'll be happy. As a person who's been underweight and a little plump it's never made me happy. So I embrace just letting the need to change things be top tier in my mind; there are just too many other things to be involved in. Plus food is good and if I read another post about someone feeling guilty about having that piece of pie or whatever my eyes will disengage from my head from spinning backwards.
So this book had promise. I liked how she told her story about her father passing away and it sent her into such grief that she stopped eating like she normally did and it just took off from there but I felt that her stages of befriending your body weren't really helpful. She focused a lot on self-compassion which is A+ but never really gets specific about it. I guess I was looking for more specific actions to take when you start doubting that you're okay as you are. She didn't really hit the mark. She didn't really talk about disordered eating and why it's not good for you and how to get to a healthy place with food. It was mostly about answering questions in a journal. I've asked myself tons of questions and sometimes had an answer but mostly not. If I knew perhaps I would have been a fully enlightened human being a long time ago.
But this book is a step in the right direction.
So this book had promise. I liked how she told her story about her father passing away and it sent her into such grief that she stopped eating like she normally did and it just took off from there but I felt that her stages of befriending your body weren't really helpful. She focused a lot on self-compassion which is A+ but never really gets specific about it. I guess I was looking for more specific actions to take when you start doubting that you're okay as you are. She didn't really hit the mark. She didn't really talk about disordered eating and why it's not good for you and how to get to a healthy place with food. It was mostly about answering questions in a journal. I've asked myself tons of questions and sometimes had an answer but mostly not. If I knew perhaps I would have been a fully enlightened human being a long time ago.
But this book is a step in the right direction.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews