1980s Rio de Janeiro. There’s only one king in this city and he’s got the mullet, swagger and fake ID to prove it. Introducing Carlos Henrique Raposo, known to all as KAISER.
This guy’s got more front than Copacabana beach. He’s the most lovable of rogues with the most common of dreams: to become a professional footballer. And he isn’t about to let trivial details like talent and achievement stand in his way . . . not when he has so many other ways to get what he wants. In one of the most remarkable football stories ever told, Kaiser graduates from abandoned slumdog to star striker, dressing-room fixer, superstar party host and inexhaustible lover. And all without kicking a ball. He’s not just the king . . . he’s the Kaiser.
A mildly interesting story of which most of it is fabricated. Oliver Attwood could have written this book better and I have seen 6 year olds with better literacy skills than him.
Carlos Henrique 'Kaiser' was a fraud.He was just a con man whose trickery was going strong because internet was not available then.Coming to the book,the narrative is scattered and littered with Kaiser's 'conquests' of women.The book should have been pruned and one hundred fifty pages should have been done away.Two stars from my side.Don't waste you money on this book.
Kaiser! is part sports biography, part true crime story, and part Brazilian football history. It is a triumph of every genre. It's the unbelievable true story of Carlos Kaiser the star footballer who wasn't. There are great anecdotes from footballers of the time as they remember fondly the antics of Kaiser as he lived the dream lifestyle of the professional footballer without the hassle of kicking a ball. I loved it.
An amazing book that seems so incredible and ridiculous that it must be true. It tells the tale of a young Brazilian blessed with some football talent who preferred to live the life of a footballer rather than be one.
Given his good looks and natural charm he managed to talk is way into some of the biggest and best Brazilian clubs and find all sort of ingenious excuses not to play and thus give the game away.
What follows is a riotous tale of obfuscation, excuses, faked injuries and off field exploits. Had he given half his efforts in clubs and discos on the pitch then he would probably have become an international player but he really had no interest in playing.
Some of the material is a bit thin and the book is padded out with some wonderful and fascinating descriptions of some of the household names befriended by the Kaiser as well as an overview of the Brazilian soccer psyche.
Many years ago George Plimpton wrote a spoof biography of a non-existent baseball pitcher entitled "The Curious Tale of Sidd Finch" and for a while I thought this was another joke but apparently it all happened.
A wild and wonderful tale that I thoroughly enjoyed and totally recommend.
‘He impersonated a footballer for over twenty years…he is the greatest footballer never to play football’.
It is the 1980’s and in Rio, the beach beckons everyday, football is king and the residents known as ‘Cariocas’ have a zest of life with ‘mischief, passion and optimism’ in equal measure.
A kid from the poor side of town knows he has to live on his wits alone . For Carlos Henrique Raposo aka Carlos ‘Kaiser’, he manages to turn his banter and supreme confidence into an unique art form of persuasion. For him, he has the lifestyle of a top footballer, all without playing one league game!
A lived large on the coat-tails of the celebrated, connected and powerful is a happy one. Until time, like for all, comes knocking…
Back in the heyday of the 90’s, there was a ‘golden era’ of ‘lads’ magazine celebrating male masculinity of mates, women and pursuing them for sex. This was time of ‘FHM’, ‘Maxim’ and in the UK, the infamous ‘Loaded’.
The life of ‘Kaiser’ reads like an extended article and homage straight from the pages of one of these magazines. It would seem Brazilian culture in the 80’s was exactly all this and more. The chapter titles alone speak volumes before the first page is turned: ‘The Marketer’, ‘The Blackmailer’, ‘The Pimp’ and the ‘The Freeloader’.
Maybe it was the bizarre start to his life that heralded his very colourful life. Just a week old, his mother asked a stranger to look after him to deal with an emergency. But she never returned. Desperate for a child herself, this women took Carlos 1600km to her hometown. As a teen he wondered why his mother was black while he was white.
Likened to the German legend that was Franz Beckenbauer known as ‘Der Kaiser’, Carlos had talent but was more enamoured by the superstar lifestyle.
This is the story of ‘Del Boy Trotter’ from ‘Only Fools and Horses’. A recurring theme of the blag and confidence to develop friendships with the top players in Rio. Players with the single moniker such as ‘Tato’, ‘Mauricio’, ‘Bebeto’. Playing for unfamiliar exotic named clubs: ‘Fluminense’, ‘Flamengo’, ‘Botafogo’. Kaiser waltzed, charmed directors with what they wanted to hear, in return for short term contracts, favours and freebee’s. He didn’t kick a ball because he used feinted injury to maximum effect. All unchecked in an era without social media and instant access. It is amazing how flashing a Club ID, a few news articles and wearing club kit can fool one and all.
‘Characters like Kaiser are always well received in the football world’ as one Director openly declared.
Unfortunately, after a while the same patterns occur, the same stories of manipulation grow old. For Kaiser, he eventually discovers a life without little substance is a lonely place in your mid 50’s.
This is an obscure book for a niche reader. More often the antidotes are thin. To thin to stretch the interest over 300+ pages. (‘Kaiser didn’t believe in voodoo. He believed in voo-don’t’) especially where Carlos inevitably find’s himself today.
While he had his supporters, it’s comes over as more a nostalgic longing for a bygone era which died long before even #metoo. Organizing sex parties and getting cozy with mob owners isn’t looked on to favourably these days in an billion dollars+ professional sport industry.
A life of charm and guile reads a little monotonous after a short while. Especially one celebrating a form of male masculinity which is rightly dying. 5/10
Kaiser. The legend. The greatest footballer never to play football. Whether you see him as a total fraud or an audacious, loveable rogue, few of the people who were part of his life story resented him and his behaviour.They all pretty much accepted him and his antics and loved him for it. He was certainly a narcissist- it was all about Kaiser. He was also lazy and a fantasist. He wanted the footballer's lifestyle without all the hard work, training and dedication that accompanies the job. However you have to admire the fact that he was so successful at what he did. Despite being signed up to big clubs in Brazil and beyond, he barely touched a ball and never played a match. On the flip side, he wasn't doing anything evil or nasty. He wasn't really hurting anyone and as the author makes clear, Kaiser was from downtown Rio where everyone had to find their own way to survive. Kaiser's story will never be repeated. No one would be able to say they played for big teams when they didn't and be believed. Today's information technology would ensure that. Kaiser got away with it because he could back then. Apart from Kaiser's story I quite liked the Brazilian football trivia and Rio is next on my travel list.
L'histoire mériterait probablement un meilleur conteur. Ça tourne en rond autour du pouvoir de Kaiser à charmer les femmes. On relit toujours les mêmes histoires au fil des pages. Sur un peu plus de 300 pages, il y en a probablement 250 de trop et l'impression que ce livre reste toujours à la surface des choses. Du coup, c'est inutilement long et paradoxalement, on ne comprends jamais la psychologie profonde de ce faux-joueur et on se rend compte dans les dernières pages du livre que peut-être presque tout ce qui fût écrit sur les 300 premières pages du livre est faux ou du moins fortement exagéré. C'est un peu se moquer de son lecteur. Les digressions sur le football brésilien s'intègrent mal par ailleurs au récit et ne lui apportent rien. Enfin, l'auteur ne prends aucun recul ou ne note aucunement le rapport de Kaiser aux femmes, alors que ce dernier interroge. Il semble que l'auteur n'a aucun recul sur ce qu'il recrache et peut-être compile t-il des interviews sans vérifier aucune des affirmations et sans non plus donner le contexte des interviews à son lecteur. En ressort une impression de fainéantise. En un mot pour résumer tout cela : belle histoire, médiocre livre. Dont on se demande : mais du coup, ce livre est une fiction ou un récit documentaire romancé ?
Thank you to Netgalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
I've been wondering how to rate this and wavering between 3 and 4 stars for a few days now. The story of Kaiser is amazing and hilarious in places. A kind of Catch Me If You Can style fantasy life but different as many people know he's he's a faker and don't care because of the perks he brings. I found that in places the book deviates from the main story too much. The Brazilian football history is very interesting but at times I lost the thread of what some of the scenes had to do with Kaiser, if anything. Also I would've loved to have known more about Kaiser. His children, parents and one true love are skimmed over. It would be nice to see another side to him if there is one.
As an aside I would absolutely love it if the female journalist wrote a book. Her stories were my favourite bit!
Carlos Kaiser is the ultimate enigma. Despite scoring 0 goals in 0 appearances, he enjoyed a lengthy career as a professional footballer at all of Rio's top clubs, as well as teams in France and Mexico. Well, depending on who you believe.
Rob Smyth attempts to get to the bottom of an unbelievable story where fact and fiction are often intertwined. There's forgery, mafia bosses, black magic, guns, violence and a whole lot of sex.
From interviews with the man himself, plus some of those closest to Kaiser's story, Smyth builds a narrative that is thoroughly entertaining and always humorous. The result is an incredible portrait of an incredible career.
With some books you need just to look at the cover and you know you will love it. ‘Kaiser: The Greatest Footballer Never To Play Football’ immediately ticked all of my boxes – a great writer telling an interesting story I knew very little about.
Rob Smyth is a really good sports writer whose minute-by-minutes are always a treat and his previous book Danish Dynamite is a brilliant look book at the Danish Golden Generation of the late 80’s.
As for the story, well where to begin. Carlos Henrique Raposo, known to all as Kaiser, is a legendary figure in Brazilian football. Legendary for his stories and his off the pitch exploits rather than anything on the pitch – because he never actually played a professional game.
Kaiser, which he was named either after Franz Beckenbauer or after an overly round beer bottle, enjoyed a lengthy “career” as a professional footballer at all of Rio’s top clubs, as well as teams in France and Mexico. Or at least he might have. While some of his stories check out – and he had contracts with many teams – many of his tales may exist only in his own imagination. What is clear is that Kaiser managed to get on the books of teams and use that status to the absolute maximum benefit.
Rob Smyth had quite a difficult job trying to corroborate Kaiser’s tales. Kaiser – it feels wrong to call him by his real name – is allowed to tell his own story throughout the book and he proves just as unreliable as a narrator as he was a footballer. Even those stories that at first appear corroborated by other players seem to ultimately be false.
It is a frankly almost unbelievable biography of a life that could only have been lived before the internet. It’s full of great anecdotes from footballers of the time as they remember Kaiser’s antics fondly. None top the tale of how Kaiser avoided being brought on as a sub by starting a fist fight with spectators. He then saved the day by telling the club owner that the fan had been insulting the owner’s honour and Kaiser felt compelled to defend his good name.
At times the book deviates from the main story to discuss Brazilian football more generally – partly to fill out the book, partly because the 80’s is one of the most interesting periods of Brazilian football history with some of their greatest ever players yet no World Cup wins. I think the book is better for giving the wider picture and setting Kaiser’s story in the broader context of Brazil at the time.
Overall, it’s a book that any football fan will enjoy. Part biography, part football history, part Catch Me If You Can style fantastical tale, Kaiser is an entertaining and brilliant read.
The book has been published in conjunction with a documentary which I’ve since watched - and its great.
To quote Kaiser speaking to a friend about a move to another club: "I'm not going to play, I'm going to be on the books so I can operate in the environment I'm familiar with. Playing would be difficult."
I really enjoyed this after a break from academic history books and socio-political theorems. It is a light-read, and there's nothing wrong about that!
The reader doesn't just learn about Kaiser's little fibs and massive fibs, but also the culture and history of football and the culture of Brazil.
I struggle with whether he is a lovable scamp or a con artist who lied and cheated his way into bed with dozens, if not hundreds, of women (which some would call rape).
I’d never heard of Carlos Kaiser before reading this book and I assume a lot of other people won’t have either. Even if you have, I'm sure this book will be a fascinating read for all. Rob Smyth writes with a casual, friendly style that makes it feel more like a tale told by a friend over a cold pint. The subject itself is hard to believe and all the more amazing to know it’s (mostly) true. The writing style and subject blend together perfectly and bring the era it's set to life. How could a man be a ‘professional footballer’ for so long without even playing a match? I was hooked from the start and the chapters flew by as I was desperate to see where the story would go.
Great book, great story...is it true, who knows! There must be some truth to some of Kaisers stories. While this story is mainly about Kaiser it does veer off to other characters and talks about Brazilian football around the time Kaiser was active in the game. Which is no bad thing as it gives a good context behind Kaisers story and his life in general. A bit repetitive at times but overall I enjoyed this book.
A good light hearted book about Brazilian football. An uninspiring book about Kaiser. There is only superficial info about Kaiser, and as much about other players. Just a book that is not rely what's it is billed as. There is nothing fascinating about a man who is just too lazy to be a real footballer... The tag line implies this was some fantastical con... It wasn't, he was just lazy and narcissistic.... Dull.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
An interesting and hilarious book based on the life of Brazilian 'footballer' Carlos Kaiser. Kaiser was signed for some of Brazil's top clubs, yet never played a game for any of them! In spite of this, and perhaps because of his extroverted personality and gift of the gab, Kaiser also signs for clubs in Europe! The book is really funny and provides an insight into life in 80s Rio. Read it whilst on holiday and found it hugely enjoyable.
My kind of lazy number 10. Book gets repetitive at times but I don't mind repetition when the situations Kaiser gets himself in and out of are so hilarious. Doesn't it ring a bell that a person can disregard "official" public opinion so completely while creating a whole new persona through self promotion - and ultimately, stay that persona 24/7?
At first I was fascinated by this, the idea of being able to make a career out of not playing football.
Unfortunately it turned out to be a series of chapters towards the end of introduced, signed, injured and womanised whilst organising orgies for owners and players.
I sort of gave up two thirds of the way through which is about 50 pages longer than the book should have been.
Interesting read about a Brazilian football player who never actually played football, but just functioned as a hanger-on and fixer around football players for over a decade. He bounced from club to club and many of his stories are very hazy. It's a fun enough conceit, though it gets repetitious in stretches and could have benefited from some editing and reorganization.
Very interesting story, but the book deviates and repeats way too much. I kinda felt like it should've been a feature article in a magazine rather than a whole book. A lot of "padding out" in the story.
Still, not a bad book, and the story behind Kaiser is amazing. 8
It's hard to understand how this guy got to have the experiences he had as a soccer player who never kicked a ball. This is a very entertaining read, but I can't help thinking that it's a con on the reader.
It was ok. A bit repetitive and the interesting bits were about the world of Brazilian football in the 80s, not Carlos kaiser. I think it would have made a decent magazine article, rather than a 300 page book.
Uma das melhores biografias de sempre. Um homem que todos acreditavam ser um craque internacional, mas dificilmente dava um chuto na bola. Os detalhes são deliciosos, obrigatório para quem gosta de futebol
Never in my life did I think I would ever know this much about Brazilian soccer from 1970-2000. Just an immense number of characters. Very fun story, though. Page 286 to the end is the best part and makes all of the - occasionally rambling - history worth it.
Great book about the Fantastic Mr. Fox of 1990s Brazilian Football. Kaiser! gets a bit monotonous at times, but makes up for it with hilarious bits about his life. Enjoyed reading about both sports and trickery at the same time.
Much as I love Smyth this is a long read article stretched over 300 plus pages. Only so many times you can repeat essentially the same story before it becomes dull.
Easy read. Good idea on the flamboyant lifestyles of Brazilian footballers in the 80s and some Brazilian culture too. Makes me want to visit the place.