Not Very Intelligent Design: On the origin, creation and evolution of the theory of intelligent design

by Neel Ingman, Mark Ingman

10 amazing things concerning this book -The Intelligent Designer created reading glasses so that all humans could read this book.Humans need haircuts. Cat hair stops growing at exactly the right length.Humans have butt crack hair because the Intelligent Designer decided that your bottom would be too hygienic and too easy to clean without it.Humans sometimes choke to death. Dolphins don't. They have a separate breathing tube.Humans who seriously believe in creation theory will not enjoy this book.The bit in this book about an amputee soldier who loses his second hand in a blender whilst on a bender in Bali may contain traces of fiction.The Intelligent Designer decided that human limbs should not regrow after amputation. Salamanders on the other hand...The bit about a poop in a public pool that leads to mass murder may not be completely true.If you believe that God's on your side, don't read this book.The Intelligent Designer created special, lethal diseases which are transmitted during acts of procreation. Mysterious or perverse?

Genres: Religion, Humor, Science, Nonfiction, Atheism

184 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 5, 2018

About the author

Neel Ingman is a writer and blogger who vividly remembers the fear of being a young boy taught to believe that God could read everybody’s mind.

He also remembers the terror of having swear words arrive unbidden into his consciousness whilst sitting in church. Along with merely thinking of the forbidden words came the urge to shout them out. A temptation he struggled successfully to resist.

At least in church.

It was a temptation similar to the feeling some people get atop a tall building or cliff. Neel has also managed to resist this temptation.

So far.

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this would be more scientific & factual than it was, so was disappointed to find that it was just humorous. It definitely made the point that we are not Intelligently Designed. Any creator who could make the universe certainly could have engineered our body better in a lot of ways. It's a mess, a kludge that only chance could have cobbled together.

There was a lot of funny stuff. I definitely agree about butt crack & pubic hair. Definitely a zero on their 10 point scale, but they missed many of the funnier defects such as the blind spot in our eye which is caused by it being backward or how the urethra goes through the prostate. No mention of the Vagus nerve or how one leg of it wanders all around. Instead, there was a lot of shallow, subjective material. I'm not sure why they bothered mentioning shoulders.

They lumped together & made fun of some parts that should have been discrete marvels, too. The anus was given particularly short shrift, but it's a valve that handles gas, liquid, & solids with an ease that is beyond our engineering for all the marvels we've created. Some folks use it for pleasure, too. No judgement, just pointing out that it's a pretty amazing orifice & could have been the subject of an entire, hilarious chapter. Instead, it got lumped in with the large intestine as a minor mention. Blah!

Very well narrated in an Australian accent which helps make it funnier for me. It was worth the $6 I paid for it on downpour.com, Blackstone Audio's consumer site.

[Stephie Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not an argument against intelligent design it makes you think that if there was a designer, she/he/it was not very intelligent. The brothers Ingmans go through various organ and body parts rating each of them on a scale from 1 to 10. Many systems were found to be severely wanting. Few or none went unscathed.

This book was fun to read, quite humorous in parts. I did not care for the obscenities, but that did not detract from the enjoyment I got from reading the book. While there was no argument presented in the book, if you take an anecdotal approach, which does not prove the case, it is fair to say it would be ludicrous to believe in an intelligent designer.

Just by humor alone, I could recommend this book. However, if you are easily offended by obscene language you may want to skip this one.

[Vic Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neel and Mark Ingman's "Not Very Intelligent Design" takes a look at the human body from a design standpoint. We don't come off well. Seems very few parts of our bodies reach the standard of "good design." In fact, most parts of us have serious, dangerous, and/or easily corrected flaw. From hair that never stops growing unlike, say, a cat whose hair grows to a certain length then stops. Or the combination of our drinking and eating tube being paired with our breathing tube. Serious design flaw there. Or combining reproductive systems with excretory systems. Dude, WTF? All the way down to our feet (which aren't bad except for the whole "individual toes" issue) attached to woefully under-designed and prone to injury ankles.
Ingmans' "Not Very" is a humorous book taking to task the whole "intelligent design" idea. Their conclusion is not surprising. If we were designed, someone did a piss poor job of it.

[Cristie Underwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was filled with obscure facts, which I loved. It was interesting to read some of the things that the author included, as the facts are random and don't seem to go together at all. This is definitely a book filled with useless trivia!

[Briar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing, short read about some of the issues with how people function.

[Michael F. Farona]

This is a good book, very entertaining and interesting. The author apparently doesn't know the function of the pancreas--he thinks it is unnecessary. Otherwise, good reading.

[Steven H · Rating 3 out of 5]

TWO ‘ANTI-DESIGN’ AUTHORS CRITIQUE THE HUMAN BODY

Authors (and brothers) Mark and Neel Ingman wrote in the Introduction to this 2018 book, “[N]one of us has any grasp of how long ago time began, or how far it is to the edge of the universe, because these things are beyond the limits of human imagination, let alone actual comprehension. Which doesn’t seem to bother the two groups of people who claim to know quite a lot about the beginning of time, Scientists and theologians… Neither side gets anywhere near providing a basic, easily explained, verifiable understanding of the concept of where we came from or how we got here. So we’re going to leave aside the debate between evolution and creationism. Instead we’ll just take a good close look at the evidence that’s actually in front of us. The human body as it currently exists… So this book will analyze and rate the design of the human being, piece by piece, and will complete the exercise by considering the overall design as a whole.”

The authors divide the human body into sections such as, ‘Eyes,’ ‘Faces,’ ‘Hair,’ ‘Hips,’ etc. After (mostly) negative comments about each bodily organ/feature, they evaluate it on a 10-point scale (e.g., 7/10 meaning ‘7 seven points out of a possible 10’).

In what will be a pattern throughout the book, they say of Eyes, “Other creatures can see more of the electromagnetic radiation spectrum than us. We perceive three primary colors but the mantis shrimp sees eleven or twelve. Including ultraviolet and infrared. And they perceive both linear and circular polarization of light. What… benefits it may have, is impossible to imagine.” (Pg. 15, for an overall score of 3/10) Of Ears, they comment, “Infrasound (below 20 Hz) and ultrasound (above 10k Hz) would also be parts of the audible range if our ears were less limited.” (Pg. 21, or an overall score of 5/10) Of ‘Running and Jumping,’ they assert, “Humans should be easily the fastest runners on the planet. And the best jumpers. And the best tree climbers. And the strongest. Why not? Given the opportunity to design the greatest creature on the planet, why design something relatively slow and weak?” (Pg. 134, for an overall score of 2/10) [You can see where this line of argument is going.]

And if the Ingmans feel that we should be the ‘best’ in every category, then obviously they will observe: “If we’d been designed with wings, which of course we should have been, we’d also need bird-style turbo lungs to go with them.” (Pg. 77) “what sort of idiot … would set out to design the greatest creature on earth and decide to exclude the ability to fly? Most people would love to be able to fly.” (Pg. 142)

A lot of their evaluations seem rather subjective: “sinuses are an absolute disaster. They serve no discernible purpose and the only time you ever become aware that you even have them is when they malfunction. Which they do, for many people, really, really often. Like many times every spring, for example.” (Pg. 30) (For an overall score of 0/10) Throats are “like a self-destruct mechanism that can activate at any moment. As a piece of design it can be generously described as gross incompetence. Or complete stupidity. There is no conceivable reason for the throat to be designed this way.” (Pg. 48)

Of the spinal cord, they state, “the human body was designed to automatically heal cuts, scratches, coughs, colds and bruises, even broken bones… but the most important part? Nah. Why the hell not?” (Pg. 53)

I’ll spare you their rather profane discussion of poop. They do ask, however, “Why can’t we have a digestive system that’s totally efficient so that every single part of what we eat and drink is utilized by the body as nourishment or energy?” (Pg. 90) [Of course, poop does serve as fertilizer, and we often eat/drink ‘junk’ that should NOT be used by the body.]

They praise some things: “brains are quite excellent in the way they allow us to enjoy art and music and movies and drugs. Much fun can be had with the brain by introducing chemicals such as alcohol, THC, and LSD.” (Pg. 44) Later, they add, “Assuming the designer … also designed naturally occurring recreational drugs…. How about a drug that makes everybody happy … and that you can’t overdose on, yet it still allows you to drive safely and has no hangover attached to it?” (Pg. 157)

They also wax poetic about Love: “Love is fantastic…. Better than sex. Because the best sex involved love… Love is the essence of everything worthwhile.” (Pg. 170, for a score of 10/10.) But they also suggest, “the reproductive process would have been very much better designed had an intelligent woman been in charge.” (Pg. 174)

Predictably, they conclude, “Not only was the designer really, really bad at designing what is claimed to be the greatest creature in the universe, he was also a psychotic, evil b-stard who created far too many psychotic, evil human b-stards in his own image.” But they also allow that if “the human animal finally came about following the long-term interaction of those tiny particles… and we are therefore a continuing work in progress that our growing consciousness and intelligence is now giving us the opportunity to have a hand in forming future versions of, then that is a truly amazing and awe-inspiring situation.” (Pg. 187-188)

The rhetoric in the book is appropriate for an ordinary Atheist blog, but will hardly persuade any others. (Even a KJV-quoting fundamentalist can counter most of their objections by claiming, “Since the Fall, God deliberately created non-ideal conditions for humans. HEAVEN will, however, be perfect for the Elect.”)

And would we really be better off with wings, since growing plants, building buildings, etc., are essentially ground-based activities? And if we WERE the fastest, had the best sense of vision and the sharpest vision, etc., would the Ingmans then complain, “So why did antelopes and beetles get so shortchanged?”

This is a lively book---but hardly one that will stimulate reasoned discussion anywhere.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious look at intelligent design

I loved this book. The authors dissect the human body to show how badly designed it was if there was a designer, and they do this in a hilarious way. The humor is juvenile and at times scatological, so the book might not be for everyone. But it offers a great look at the silliness of intelligent design from a biological viewpoint. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in biology.
Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley for review purposes.

[Bill · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea

My original review was a bit harsh, so I am submitting a revised review. While the author's views are quite different from mine, I acknowledge the fact that he has a right to express himself as he sees fit. The text makes fun of Intelligent Design and mocks religion, so if that bothers you best to not read it.

[Sam Law · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read More Book Reviews on my blog It's Good To Read

Summary:
A light-hearted, irreverent look at the human body, as being judged on functional, aesthetic and general fitness-for-purpose criteria.

Main Characters:
Homo Sapiens: The body is dissected piece by piece, and the various pros and cons are given.

Plot:
The book is very easy to navigate. The body parts are first, and broken into general sections (top, middle, bottom). It is written with the teen market in mind, full as it is with sneery asides, lots of scatological humour, and the general perception that anyone over 25 is practically at death’s door, and their opinions are olde-worlde.

The book begins with the notion of imagination, then quickly moves into the stand-off between science and theology. Without taking (overtly) a side, the authors decide the best way forward is to critique the human body itself from an objective designer’s point of view and see how it measures up i.e. is what we got the best that could have been done, given (presumptively) unlimited resources, and perfect knowledge (or omniscient, if you prefer!).

So the commentary begins at the top with hair, works its way down and through the various organs and parts, with some funny and some cringe-worthy asides, mixed in with some tenuous “facts” made in a somewhat plausible setting.

Once done with the body parts (160 pages or so of hair, eyes, nose, skull, down to legs and “fankles”), the authors look at infancy and dotage, then appraise the body’s physical performance attributes against e.g. the cheetah. Our socio-emotional attributes are put under the microscope, and we wrap up with a look at Women (given the bulk of the book is given from a male perspective).

What I Liked:
- It is a light-hearted easy read.
- It will drive creationists mad, when faced with teens who will use this book as a base for arguing – I’d love to be a fly on the wall for those chats!
- Entertaining for the most part, and has some gems in there.

What I Didn’t Like:
- It did come across as a little juvenile in parts, and some of the humour was akin to Viz magazine
- Some political views in there, which were unnecessary, and not in keeping with the topic.

Overall:
A good one to give to your thirteen-year old, as it will keep them amused. Hopefully it will encourage them to find out the real facts, and get better educated in this area. I found the book very easy to read, simple in outlook and in understanding, and would recommend it.

Acknowledgements:
Thanks to NetGalley, BooksGoSocial and the authors for giving me a free copy of the book in return for an honest and objective review.

[James Frederick · Rating 1 out of 5]

I almost stopped reading this. It is not that it was not amusing in parts. There were parts that were exceedingly funny. But it was not what it was billed to be, and after a while, it seemed kind of pointless. The authors' intent seemed to be to make as many snarky comments as possible, while cutting down various body parts. Their premise seemed to be that no intelligent designer would EVER make things the way they were done, and so, 1) there is no intelligent designer; and 2) pretty much everything is worthless, except the male sex organ and the hand...which the author's often talked about using jointly. I do not think that they took THEIR subject seriously. They seemed more interested in tossing in as much locker-room humor as they could squeeze in. I did not realize this was supposed to be in the "humor section."

If I had to guess, my FIRST guess would be that these guys are high schoolers, who are trying to see how many swear words and how much crudeness the publisher will let them put in. The humor is generally juvenile and the level of discourse is often the same. The writers tripped all over themselves trying to toss in as much frivolity as they possibly could. Some of it was okay. Most of it was tiresome, after a while.

This is one example: "Liver with bacon in a gravy sauce can be delicious when well made. That has nothing to do with the liver in the human body. Unless you’re a cannibal. In which case they apparently go well with beans, fava rather than kidney."

Here is another: "Some people have even been conned into thinking they need a ridiculous looking fat fuck in a cravat to tell them what tastes good." Ha ha...good one, boys!

There was often a stream of consciousness banter that took on a life of its own, (as I guess that kind of thing is wont to do).

It is too bad. The topic was good. Why were we made the way we are? Wouldn't it be better if there were other options? Why are we susceptible to injury and disease? Is there a reason why things are the way they are and were not done differently? These are legitimate questions and worth tackling.

I was very disappointed in this book. It could have been SO much better. The idea was very good. The execution was deeply flawed, in spite of the comedy, and perhaps at time, because of the comedy. There was also some political stuff in there that was not necessary. This was not a book on politics. Holding out political figures as being mentally ill is wrong. No one cares about the authors' political beliefs. I was hoping for something so much better.

[Kristin Labesky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went back and forth on whether this book deserved a two star rating or a three. I gave it a three which was generous .. there were some parts that were funny and thought provoking and maybe I will even share some of the flaws of different body parts with my co-workers seeing how I am a nurse and they may laugh at things such as “hey Deb did ya ever stop and think to yourself that scrotum hair is unnecessary seeing his hair is for warmth and testicular need a cool temp? (Although HR may have a field day ) … I grew up thinking the human body is truly amazing how a group of atoms, cells , tissues , organs , organ systems all That makes us who we are .. … a complex creature .. sure we have flaws cuz there is no such thing as perfection but look at what a cluster of cells eventually turns into ? Pretty darn amazing I think .. so yeah it was disappointing how much negativity was in this book . I gave it a three cuz it was funny at times and made me think but it wasn’t as scientific as I hoped it would be and is clearly written by someone that has a negative attitude about life .. and at times he seemed like a male showvinist pig when discussing women and “nice racks”. And has he not heard the explanations or rationale behind why women suffer through childbirth or why menstruation occurs. I mean he wasn’t exactly “god shaming “ but I am actually surprised that he didn’t include a little more “bashing of religion” in his book seeing how it’s all about having an “ unintelligent designer” it just talks about the flaws of the human anatomy and physiology and he comes up with a negative aspect of each body part but because nothing is perfect we could also write a book about the not so perfect author of this book because this book is basically just a “roast of god “ or whatever creator people believe in .. if you could have done a better job creating a human species let’s see what your kid looks like mr. Author of this book …

[Charles Wagner · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good enough is as good as it gets
The author takes a tour of rating body parts and bodily functions which was a bit funny to begin but which grew less humorous as the reader progressed though the book, becoming more tedious with each page.
Ingham maintains it is not difficult to upgrade the human body and that the original designer was a moron or even a psychotic evil bastard who created far too many psychotic evil bastards in His image.
The author’s final conclusion may be directly on the money since the Old Testament Yahweh is obviously a vindictiveSOB and since idiot puppets, as portrayed in the Garden of Eden, were apparently what Yahweh and His pals preferred.
The gift of thumbs, allowing mankind to make tools and weapons, was the major design flaw. Ingham did not mention thumbs.
But, if Darwin was correct, and we are really a biological accident, then good enough is as good as it gets. After all, the human race has populated this planet and then some, and we have not yet begun to populate, until have begun to seriously obfuscate the ecosystem and are in a better position to wipe a large portion of life from earth every time another goofy country gets the bomb.
The human body has been extremely efficient propagating, and that, boys, and girls, is what life is all about.
Humanity is rated 10 for survival as a species and zero for cleaning up after itself.

[Madhu N · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up the book thinking it was a trivia in Q&A format.But the book take every organ of the human body and analyses its uses and design and gives it a rank. Some of the details are not known to most people and explained in a humorous way, but some had too much detail and i could live without knowing them.

After i finished the book, i was just left with a feeling of, who sat and thought of this design of human before creation and how have we survived with such poor design unintelligent design !

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is book was terribly disappointing from a scientist's perspective. The author's outline and choice of topics is relevant to highlight the lack of "perfection" in a human body plan. However, it is approached with the largest fallacy that exists about evolution: that evolution has a goal. Evolution just selects organisms that fit best into the current environment that may be a better trait or a worse trait for future generations. I dislike seeing myths perpetuate.

[Valinda Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and thought provoking

Laughed out loud more than once in every chapter. Having long ago discarded the theory of intelligent design as claptrap, I wasn't shocked or outraged by the very blunt disrespect the authors show that theoretical designer.
I do suspect that this is a book few, if any, true believers could actually read, however. So the hilarity will be reserved for those who already think like the authors.

[Emmie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book sounded interesting, but I have to say I was a bit dissapointed. Though some of the comments and opinions were funny, it sometimes sounded a bit forced. Good for a bit of a laugh, but I would not really recommend it.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book

[Donald Preite · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

I thought this book was well written, funny and spot-on. I was actually expecting something that was drier, theologically scholarly and overtly anti-religion. It was a very funny take on the failings of the human design and asks the question, that if man was created by a supreme perfect being, WTF was he/she thinking or taking when drawing up the blueprints. Fun book.

[Vanni Pulé · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book reminds me very much of the jokes that Ronnie Corbett used to narrate in his relatively oversized armchair. The digressions go on for so long that you miss the whole point of the original joke. There is method in the madness and it is a bit of fun and I laughed out loud at times. However, it misses some very great opportunities of expanding on the subject. For example, the chapter about the eyes could have had so much more about the unintelligent design of this basic human commodity. Yet the author prefers to prance around the subject in fun.
If you want to discover more about the problems in the human body caused by various mutations happening through evolution, don't bother with this book. If you know enough and want a bit of fun and easy reading, go for it.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read to debunk all the intelligent design apologists. Really enjoyed reading this and enjoyed how they went through body system by body system coming up with reasons why the body is anything but intelligently designed.

[Susan Traver · Rating 1 out of 5]

1/10

I'm gave it 1 because sometimes it's funny. Otherwise it's worth less than a pair of balls swinging in the breeze or a male brain that can't think beyond those balls and spends all hs time trying to get them in a warm place.

[Craig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not so intelligent design

Witty, intelligently written satire in the human body design. A body part by body part comparison of the human body design to “best practices” in the animal kingdom.

[John King · Rating 2 out of 5]

Filled with observations of the obvious with (mostly failing) attempts at humor. Its taken me a long time to finish this and it had to wait until there was nothing else in my library and a dodgy internet connection to get round to it

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and makes good points

I remember people saying that the eye is so perfect it needed to have been created by an intelligent designer. It never occurred to me that 100% of even healthy eyes start failing 50% through the life of the person. Bad statistics lol!

[Kurt E Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Good Read

There's no surprises here if you've ever given this some thought, but there are also great glimpses of wisdom regarding the built-in self-centered nature of all of us including all of our leaders which is the greatest design fault.

[Judy Tarver · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a lot of questions to ponder that will really make you think. For people who believe in God, this book might anger some. It is written with a unique sense of humor and I like the authors wit and perspective.

[chrstphre campbell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Glib & Snarky

In Full Disclosure: I only got up to 24%
Few, If any genuinely sound arguments, few with contrary expositions.
Not at all an argument for The failures of Evolution, Angels or a reasonably intelligent designer.

[Carl Strohmenger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought the author was spot-on with his remarks. I would have given the book five stars except for his persistent political carping that really distracted from the story. So, 4/5 stars.

[EMAD-Omda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice funny book

Nice funny read, will make u think of different things in our bodies.
This is a nice quick read on a plane or long drive

[vernon j. gayle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a bad read

I've had this conversation with many a theist who claimed we are perfect.. the book added a few things I never thought off..