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Womanish: A Grown Black Woman Speaks on Love and Life
Life at the Intersection explores how being both black and female—not to mention middle-aged—complicates everything from dating to parenting to mental health in America. And how one woman responds to those challenges. In the vein of contemporary social commentators such as Roxane Gay and Rebecca Solnit, author Kimberly McLarin elucidates the joys, sorrows and frustrations of being a black woman in the contemporary America.
252 pages, Paperback
First published January 15, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
March 27, 2019
I was in the middle of reading "Black is the Body", another book of essays, when I found myself bored and wanting to read something else. This book was conveniently next to me and I picked it up. I finished it in a single day.
What "Black is the Body" lacks in fire, "Womanish" has the matches and gasoline. Every essay was punctuated with the no-nonsense voice of a Black mother speaking her truth and telling her wisdom. I found myself completely entranced in her life lessons and even laughing at the more ridiculous parts. Seriously, next to "We're Going to Need More Wine" by Gabrielle Union, this book is at the same level in humor.
The book and essays are short and concise. There's not a lot of fluffy language either so it doesn't feel like someone is oppressing you with their knowledge. There is plenty of knowledge, though, believe me. All in all, this book is getting a 5/5 on the Books and Bougie Scale. I should buy it.
What "Black is the Body" lacks in fire, "Womanish" has the matches and gasoline. Every essay was punctuated with the no-nonsense voice of a Black mother speaking her truth and telling her wisdom. I found myself completely entranced in her life lessons and even laughing at the more ridiculous parts. Seriously, next to "We're Going to Need More Wine" by Gabrielle Union, this book is at the same level in humor.
The book and essays are short and concise. There's not a lot of fluffy language either so it doesn't feel like someone is oppressing you with their knowledge. There is plenty of knowledge, though, believe me. All in all, this book is getting a 5/5 on the Books and Bougie Scale. I should buy it.
January 9, 2019
This nonfiction title explores some heavy topics, such as racism, sexism, mental health, and feminism through McLaren's life lens. Her perspective is not unique, but the way she writes about her story feels inspiring and fresh. I was drawn to Womanish by the gorgeous bright pink and purple cover, but a pretty cover does not always a five star book make. Let's jump right into the meat of her essays.
McLaren jumps right into her book with an essay about online dating. The thing I noticed right off the bat, and continued to appreciate throughout her book, is that she often highlights the lessons she has learned clearly for the reader to see. Her lessons are pretty powerful stuff. Whether or not you're ready to hear them, and whether or not they are simple or complex, McLaren's got some truth nuggets that are sure to be helpful in one way or another. I found her first essay drew me in, as McLaren is funny and open with her experiences, her lack of defensiveness helps this feel more like a conversation.
Her second essay is more of a hard hitter. Entitled Becky and Me, McLaren writes about her relationship with white women, and black women's relationships with white women in general. She does this through several angles; her own perspective, women she has interviewed, and TV shows and pop culture provide adequate material to dissect and reflect upon. While I acknowledge what she has to say as true, and want to be an advocate for change in the way white women treat black women, this was a hard essay for me to read, being a white woman myself. And I am able to read it and appreciate it for the information and emotion McLaren provides her readers. I hope with all my heart that the bulk of white women who read this book can take this essay in just as they take her other essays in, and learn and grow from it without being put off by the truths that are within. McLaren is quick and careful to acknowledge her generalizations, and she puts them in there at the same time to make powerful arguments and draw attention to her statements. While this was not my favorite essay, I thoroughly appreciate it's existence and the way McLaren challenged my own perspective.
Her following essays are just as poignant, and I found I learned something from each of them. Her essay on mental health was incredibly powerful, and a call to take better care of ourselves however we can. She moves on to write about the prison system, with a personal attachment to her nephew who is sentenced to prison. She threads in statistics seemingly effortlessly, and I enjoy how she weaves her personal narrative and statistical evidence together to provide such emotional perspective to both of these heavy topics.
The essay that personally effected me the most, although they are all wonderful, was On Self-Delusion. This essay was a hard hitter for me because McLaren takes time to call attention to lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. She guides readers through a look at her own self-delusions, and encourages readers to think about and acknowledge what delusions we each have. I feel as though I am at a stage in my life in which I am seeking to replace habits with new routines that work for me, and this essay gave me a wonderful start for calling myself on my BS. What are the lies I've told myself to avoid being vulnerable with the decisions I have made or continue to make? In acknowledging where our vulnerabilities lie, in confronting those, we can better understand where we fall in relationship to others. Thank you, Kim McLaren, for putting this essay out in the world so that I could find it at this time in my life.
Clearly I could continue to talk about how great the rest of her essays are, but the point is there is something here for almost everyone, and I wuold be surprised if you can't find something in here to learn from or connect to. I haven't read anything else from Kim McLaren, but I'm 100% inspired to pick up more of her works after reading Womanish.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through the publsher via Edelweiss+.
McLaren jumps right into her book with an essay about online dating. The thing I noticed right off the bat, and continued to appreciate throughout her book, is that she often highlights the lessons she has learned clearly for the reader to see. Her lessons are pretty powerful stuff. Whether or not you're ready to hear them, and whether or not they are simple or complex, McLaren's got some truth nuggets that are sure to be helpful in one way or another. I found her first essay drew me in, as McLaren is funny and open with her experiences, her lack of defensiveness helps this feel more like a conversation.
Her second essay is more of a hard hitter. Entitled Becky and Me, McLaren writes about her relationship with white women, and black women's relationships with white women in general. She does this through several angles; her own perspective, women she has interviewed, and TV shows and pop culture provide adequate material to dissect and reflect upon. While I acknowledge what she has to say as true, and want to be an advocate for change in the way white women treat black women, this was a hard essay for me to read, being a white woman myself. And I am able to read it and appreciate it for the information and emotion McLaren provides her readers. I hope with all my heart that the bulk of white women who read this book can take this essay in just as they take her other essays in, and learn and grow from it without being put off by the truths that are within. McLaren is quick and careful to acknowledge her generalizations, and she puts them in there at the same time to make powerful arguments and draw attention to her statements. While this was not my favorite essay, I thoroughly appreciate it's existence and the way McLaren challenged my own perspective.
Her following essays are just as poignant, and I found I learned something from each of them. Her essay on mental health was incredibly powerful, and a call to take better care of ourselves however we can. She moves on to write about the prison system, with a personal attachment to her nephew who is sentenced to prison. She threads in statistics seemingly effortlessly, and I enjoy how she weaves her personal narrative and statistical evidence together to provide such emotional perspective to both of these heavy topics.
The essay that personally effected me the most, although they are all wonderful, was On Self-Delusion. This essay was a hard hitter for me because McLaren takes time to call attention to lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. She guides readers through a look at her own self-delusions, and encourages readers to think about and acknowledge what delusions we each have. I feel as though I am at a stage in my life in which I am seeking to replace habits with new routines that work for me, and this essay gave me a wonderful start for calling myself on my BS. What are the lies I've told myself to avoid being vulnerable with the decisions I have made or continue to make? In acknowledging where our vulnerabilities lie, in confronting those, we can better understand where we fall in relationship to others. Thank you, Kim McLaren, for putting this essay out in the world so that I could find it at this time in my life.
Clearly I could continue to talk about how great the rest of her essays are, but the point is there is something here for almost everyone, and I wuold be surprised if you can't find something in here to learn from or connect to. I haven't read anything else from Kim McLaren, but I'm 100% inspired to pick up more of her works after reading Womanish.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through the publsher via Edelweiss+.
January 27, 2019
This stunning collection of essays is bold, brilliant, and beautifully written. I'm an author on a tight book deadline right now, and I picked up Womanish yesterday morning--planning to read just a little before I started writing for the day--but I couldn't put it down. My morning of writing quickly turned into a morning of reading, and I don't regret it. I have to really start writing today--otherwise I'd write a longer review--but if Goodreads lets me come back and revise this review later, I'll be more specific. In the meantime, do yourself and the world a favor by reading Womanish.
February 6, 2019
In this brilliant and truthful essay collection, Kim McLarin covers just about every aspect of living in America as a Black woman. I was enlightened, amused, made quite uncomfortable at times, and impressed over and over by her intelligence. You know I have a thing for intelligent women.
Everything she covers is important to a grown or growing woman: on-line dating, depression, racial injustice in the courts, anger, marriage, motherhood, bad partners, revenge vs non-violence, and more. The whole perspective is a Black woman's. I know, it says that in the subtitle, but it bears repeating.
The essay that punched me the hardest, "Becky and Me," considers friendship between Black and White women. As I read I felt there was not any way for me to be a good friend to a Black woman. I had to look at why I have not had a Black female friend since the third grade. I spent hours trying to figure out how I could make a Black female friend at this point in my life and to reason out why I do not even cross paths with Black women in my daily/social activities. I wondered if Kim McLarin would accept me as a friend and truthfully I felt unworthy, unsure of myself, even kind of rejected.
As I gradually got over myself, I realized (not for the first time) that Black Americans have spent way more time observing and figuring out White Americans than we have spent attempting to get a true picture of them. It was James Baldwin who got me started thinking about all that but he is a man.
My education is not complete, nor is my experience. The inherent and continuously glossed over racism in this country will give us problems for a long time to come, perhaps always and forever. This book is a valuable resource I think for both Black and White women and men.
Kim McLarin is bold, intelligent, relentless and brave as a writer and as a human being, but what stood out most for me in her collection was her honesty. A Grown Black Woman Speaks. Yes, she does.
February 28, 2019
Brilliant, heartbreaking, empowering, and sobering. Must read!!! Amazingly good!!!
October 26, 2018
It started off very well, sort of went into a different direction and lost me, and finished on a good note. This book is worth reading and I’ll write a longer review at a later date.
February 25, 2019
Kim McLarin taps into the Black woman's experience--in life, relationships, motherhood, and professionally--in a way that's relatable and accessible for all. Each one of these essays is a testimony to the truth of, not only womanhood but, Black womanhood, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this collection.
Some of what's here has been offered elsewhere--via other publications--but that neither minimizes nor devalues the thoughtful ways she relays her experiences; in fact, there were many times where I felt myself silently nodding in understanding at just how much truth there was in each offering.
For example, on parenting...
Parenting while Black is an exhausting job. Imagine (if you are not a Black parent) eighteen years of running interference, plowing through an endless field of people and institutions trying to tackle your child...Imagine (if you are not a Black parent) holding your breath every time your child stepped out of your protective embrace into a world not just randomly dangerous but specifically hostile
On relationships...
This is a fundamental fact of life, a law of the universe, and the moment you embrace it is the moment you are free. Everyone gets at least one sociopath, one a-hole, one hurtful narcissistic jerk who barges or stumbles or falls into their life and causes pain .
On white women...
white women have power they will not share and to which they mostly will not admit, even when wielding it.
McLarin, having spent much of her career in white spaces, dealing with the privilege and prejudice that often follows in such places, isn't shy about her feelings on race and class. She makes it clear she's been there, done that, and made whatever peace is possible to be made--however, she also keeps it real that there was enough BS to go around and she didn't care for it.
McLarin delivers each position with clarity; there is no wasted space within these pages. Just real and raw. No filter.
This is a collection for the physical shelf, that's for sure, because it deserves to be revisited again and again--if only for the corrobarative voice it offers to those of us still waiting to achieve the right level of no damns left to give.
Thanks to Ig Publishing and Edelweiss+ for this Advanced Digital eGalley of "Womanish". Opinion is my own and was not influenced by the advanced receipt of this work.
Some of what's here has been offered elsewhere--via other publications--but that neither minimizes nor devalues the thoughtful ways she relays her experiences; in fact, there were many times where I felt myself silently nodding in understanding at just how much truth there was in each offering.
For example, on parenting...
Parenting while Black is an exhausting job. Imagine (if you are not a Black parent) eighteen years of running interference, plowing through an endless field of people and institutions trying to tackle your child...Imagine (if you are not a Black parent) holding your breath every time your child stepped out of your protective embrace into a world not just randomly dangerous but specifically hostile
On relationships...
This is a fundamental fact of life, a law of the universe, and the moment you embrace it is the moment you are free. Everyone gets at least one sociopath, one a-hole, one hurtful narcissistic jerk who barges or stumbles or falls into their life and causes pain .
On white women...
white women have power they will not share and to which they mostly will not admit, even when wielding it.
McLarin, having spent much of her career in white spaces, dealing with the privilege and prejudice that often follows in such places, isn't shy about her feelings on race and class. She makes it clear she's been there, done that, and made whatever peace is possible to be made--however, she also keeps it real that there was enough BS to go around and she didn't care for it.
McLarin delivers each position with clarity; there is no wasted space within these pages. Just real and raw. No filter.
This is a collection for the physical shelf, that's for sure, because it deserves to be revisited again and again--if only for the corrobarative voice it offers to those of us still waiting to achieve the right level of no damns left to give.
Thanks to Ig Publishing and Edelweiss+ for this Advanced Digital eGalley of "Womanish". Opinion is my own and was not influenced by the advanced receipt of this work.
February 21, 2021
After reading this book, my words feel inadequate to describe it. These essays were a gift, at times a cause for pause and reflection but always thoroughly enthralling. McLarin is an author who seems to live and write with such authenticity that it is impossible not to feel connected and enraptured by each topic, even the ones which were less accessible for me. Especially 'Becky and Me' is important for white women and anybody who hopes to be an anti-racist ally to read, but it wouldn't do this book justice to reduce it to any one of it's parts. I finished it in a day which I'm usually unable to do with non-fiction.I can only recommend that everyone read it.
February 4, 2021
In this brilliant and truthful essay collection, Kim McLarin covers just about every aspect of living in America as a Black woman. I was enlightened, amused, made quite uncomfortable at times, and impressed over and over by her intelligence. You know I have a thing for intelligent women.
Everything she covers is important to a grown or growing woman: on-line dating, depression, racial injustice in the courts, anger, marriage, motherhood, bad partners, revenge vs non-violence, and more. The whole perspective is a Black woman's. I know, it says that in the subtitle, but it bears repeating.
The essay that punched me the hardest, "Becky and Me," considers friendship between Black and White women. As I read I felt there was not any way for me to be a good friend to a Black woman. I had to look at why I have not had a Black female friend since the third grade. I spent hours trying to figure out how I could make a Black female friend at this point in my life and to reason out why I do not even cross paths with Black women in my daily/social activities. I wondered if Kim McLarin would accept me as a friend and truthfully I felt unworthy, unsure of myself, even kind of rejected.
As I gradually got over myself, I realized (not for the first time) that Black Americans have spent way more time observing and figuring out White Americans than we have spent attempting to get a true picture of them. It was James Baldwin who got me started thinking about all that but he is a man.
My education is not complete, nor is my experience. The inherent and continuously glossed over racism in this country will give us problems for a long time to come, perhaps always and forever. This book is a valuable resource I think for both Black and White women and men.
Kim McLarin is bold, intelligent, relentless and brave as a writer and as a human being, but what stood out most for me in her collection was her honesty. A Grown Black Woman Speaks. Yes, she do
Everything she covers is important to a grown or growing woman: on-line dating, depression, racial injustice in the courts, anger, marriage, motherhood, bad partners, revenge vs non-violence, and more. The whole perspective is a Black woman's. I know, it says that in the subtitle, but it bears repeating.
The essay that punched me the hardest, "Becky and Me," considers friendship between Black and White women. As I read I felt there was not any way for me to be a good friend to a Black woman. I had to look at why I have not had a Black female friend since the third grade. I spent hours trying to figure out how I could make a Black female friend at this point in my life and to reason out why I do not even cross paths with Black women in my daily/social activities. I wondered if Kim McLarin would accept me as a friend and truthfully I felt unworthy, unsure of myself, even kind of rejected.
As I gradually got over myself, I realized (not for the first time) that Black Americans have spent way more time observing and figuring out White Americans than we have spent attempting to get a true picture of them. It was James Baldwin who got me started thinking about all that but he is a man.
My education is not complete, nor is my experience. The inherent and continuously glossed over racism in this country will give us problems for a long time to come, perhaps always and forever. This book is a valuable resource I think for both Black and White women and men.
Kim McLarin is bold, intelligent, relentless and brave as a writer and as a human being, but what stood out most for me in her collection was her honesty. A Grown Black Woman Speaks. Yes, she do
June 19, 2019
I finished this book in one day. McLarin's essays are so powerful and concise and they always leave you reflecting on the ways her experiences can apply to your own life.
It is so refreshing hearing a black woman speak on her experiences in such a candid manner and realize her areas of privilege and marginalization.
I found myself bookmarking so many pages but here are a few of my favorite excerpts:
It is so refreshing hearing a black woman speak on her experiences in such a candid manner and realize her areas of privilege and marginalization.
I found myself bookmarking so many pages but here are a few of my favorite excerpts:
Maybe these women had not, in fact, internalized the notion that not only should Black women not expect to be loved they should not even desire it.
The idea that Black women are unworthy beggars at the table of love (and thus better fix themselves or die trying) grows like crabgrass out of the compacted, grub-ridden lawn of white supremacy and misogynoir.
White men calling black students spoiled is like the specialist of all special snowflakes calling the pebble delicate.
Simply to enter the spaces where white women are likely to come into contact with us black women have to be superlative in ways white women do not.
In other words, said Morrison: You are not obliged to live in someone else's imagination of you. You're not even obliged to acknowledge it.
What I did was to simply go on seeing a person who treated my heart like toilet paper, who valued my soul and my very being about as much as he valued Styrofoam. I presented to be in charge of what was happening. I told myself that even though I wanted more I could accept less and not be compromised, that the excitement and the sex were worth it, at least for a while. I told myself I was not trying to win his love. I told myself I knew I never would.
July 26, 2020
Favourite Quotable line: "The first step of deprogramming is education, informing the person you are trying to free just how indoctrination works to hamstring a mind. But information alone will not free a believer from her beliefs, no matter how destructive, because belief is not intellectual. Emotion got you in and emotion will get you out."
This book collates thirteen boldly written and well-crafted essays on living, loving, and striving while black. The author while paying recourse to her own personal experiences and the experiences of people she interviewed discusses issues bordering on racism, sexism, mental health, motherhood, love and friendship. She talks about these topics from her personal experiences while also making recourse to quotes, real-life stories and experiences of others. She also talks about the prison system in America using a personal attachment to her nephew who was sentenced to prison. One of the essays I love the most is On Self Delusion- in this essay MClarin examines lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. She guides the reader through a look at her own self-delusions and encouraged readers to think about and acknowledge what delusions they might have. In short, this is a good one. The writing is beautiful, the essays are honestly brilliant. I enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed learning from it.
This book collates thirteen boldly written and well-crafted essays on living, loving, and striving while black. The author while paying recourse to her own personal experiences and the experiences of people she interviewed discusses issues bordering on racism, sexism, mental health, motherhood, love and friendship. She talks about these topics from her personal experiences while also making recourse to quotes, real-life stories and experiences of others. She also talks about the prison system in America using a personal attachment to her nephew who was sentenced to prison. One of the essays I love the most is On Self Delusion- in this essay MClarin examines lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. She guides the reader through a look at her own self-delusions and encouraged readers to think about and acknowledge what delusions they might have. In short, this is a good one. The writing is beautiful, the essays are honestly brilliant. I enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed learning from it.
July 17, 2021
This book was part of a swap with a close friend for Terraformed: Young Black Lives In The Inner City, as part of ongoing anti-racism reading. While previously I had tried to read one book by a cishet-white-able-bodied-man to read three by someone else (anyone else), my tactic on this changed over the past few months. The ratio is getting towards 7:1 and I am loving it!
Womanish covers the experiences of Kim McLarin, an African American woman in internet dating, family raising and generally distrusting white women. All of which are difficult but important things to do. In a collection of essays, she speaks of finding acceptance in the hoards of online singles, of depression and its cycles, the realities of racism and the truths of middle age. Each essay caused me to reflect further on the roles I have taken on within relationships, the lies I have told myself and the ways I can and should change. But more importantly, it wasn't about me, the careful addressing, unpicking and uncovering of issues are both essential and accessible. Hurtled through this book in two afternoons would recommend it to anyone and everyone.
Womanish covers the experiences of Kim McLarin, an African American woman in internet dating, family raising and generally distrusting white women. All of which are difficult but important things to do. In a collection of essays, she speaks of finding acceptance in the hoards of online singles, of depression and its cycles, the realities of racism and the truths of middle age. Each essay caused me to reflect further on the roles I have taken on within relationships, the lies I have told myself and the ways I can and should change. But more importantly, it wasn't about me, the careful addressing, unpicking and uncovering of issues are both essential and accessible. Hurtled through this book in two afternoons would recommend it to anyone and everyone.
May 10, 2019
As a fan of essays this book was just what I needed. At less than 100 pages I was able to read this over the course of an afternoon. I ended feeling full of ideas. Womanish is a collection of essays on black womanhood, education, politics, motherhood, online dating, mental health, and racism. Kim lays out her own life in an easy to follow narrative. She points out various issues of race and addresses them towards a white audience. She also gets very personal. What I love about Kim is her ease in coming to and accepting adulthood. Kim is a strong woman but you also get to see the reasons that she is one, both societal, personally, and racially. As a white woman I am grateful that writers like Kim exist. A lot of truths in here might be hard to swallow for some but are necessary to hear. The use of quotes, connections, and parody to literature was amazing and I felt them deep in my literary loving heart. I secretly am jealous of the college students that have Kim as their professor. I cannot suggest this enough!
May 16, 2024
"Womanish: (Opp. of "girlish," ie. frivolous, irresponsible, not serious.) A black feminist or feminist of color. From the black folk expression of mothers to female children, "you acting womanish," i.e., like a woman. Usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous, or willful behavior... Acting grown up. Being grown up..." - From Alice Walker's Definition of a "Womanist" from In Search of Our Mother's Gardens: Womanist Prose.
Author Kim McLarin offers a wide view of her life and the aspect of trying to find love through honesty and no holds-bar use of words. I gathered so many amazing quotes throughout the book. I grew to understand a life that in no way would I have experienced growing up in Utah. Do I understand being teased, picked on, and being different than my peers? Absolutely. However, I did not live in a world where there was a systematic generational struggle to just be seen as an equal. I can't imagine having to deal with being a woman and being a minority at the same time. That is where this book helped me to understand the struggle that Black Women encountered as being a double minority.
I have been told by friends that my review might not be accepted by some people because I am White. This is absurd. I can still enjoy a book no matter the color of an author's skin or the color of my skin (which by the way is a light caramel color as I have a natural tan pigment thanks to my German ancestry.) As a reader, I can relate to what the author writes about on the whole because I am an empathetic, compassionate, and educated people watcher. My skin color in no way negates my being able to review this book.
Womanish is a handbook for rising out of the ashes and being who you are, not how people see you...
There are so many humanistic truths in this book that I had to keep re-reading to make sure I didn't miss any of the realities this book talks about. There are also so many ugly things that Ms. McLarin has gone through with her experiences of dating and "online dating" which by reading this book has shown me to have made her stronger, and yet a tad cynical about love. I think that one of my sons would agree with her that "online dating" just sucks all the way around.
Using key quotes from other authors, motivational speakers, and real-life people to reinforce her experiences is a gold mine. I especially liked Page 101 where she talks about the lies we believe about ourselves being the center of the universe from babyhood on to whenever either our parents or the world teaches us the opposite. If only all people would learn this lesson. And still, at various times in our lives, we go back to that "lie" that we are "better than", more "special than" someone else. This is something I agree with -- it is pure bunk no one is better than anyone else! These are things she has taught her daughter trying to break the "wrong messaging" in her head about being inferior to a majority race. It's what I taught my daughter also that she is fierce, level-headed, and can make decisions based on her "truths" not what others see or think of her, and still capable of understanding that others are her equals and deserve her respect.
Ms. McLarin talks about gender equality. Her discussion about the physical acts of sex and the way men and women differ in their thoughts about it was refreshing. It was to the point, hilariously ironic, and overall factual. No matter what a man thinks about how sex is for a woman it's all about "emotions" that are neither the sole desire nor the actual truth. Give me a break women don't feel desire just for the sake of wanting sex? Right...
To be honest, did I agree with all of what was written in Womanish? No. That my friends is the joy of reading and opening up your heart to understanding. It's like communicating with a friend, you don't always agree with their views but you can still be accepting of their views as they see them and apply those things you hadn't thought about and agree with into your heart and mind which will help make your life better and your dealings with your fellow humans more meaningful.
I wish that my copy wasn't an ARC so that I could quote so many of the truths that she gives. It was an uplifting read from me although, I know that some non-Black readers will take offense to the capitalization of B in black and not capitalizing W for white, which is just too bad because they will be missing the bigger story, and prove Ms. McLarin's point.
Womanish is filled with love, wisdom, truth, and a residual of the ugliness that is racism and the strength of people who are trying to raise themselves from a past filled with blockades of raising to the equality of everyone else in the country at the same time inspiring her child to be the best of who she is and see life as it should be, not as it has been.
Thanks to IG Publishing for the opportunity to read Womanish by Kim McLarin for of my honest review.
You can read this book now as it was released on January 22, 2019. Help the "moms and pops" of the industry to stay open... buy the book at your favorite Indie Bookseller, or if you really must buy from your local big box bookstore to keep your taxes low by supporting your local community.
For writing quality and honest life lessons.
"My distrust of white women at work has escalated. It wasn't something that I thought about a whole lot previously, but recently I've become aware of one who smiles in my face but whom I've learned has done some serious backstabbing behind my, well, back..."
I tend to find this, for me, to be more of a gender experience, not a racial experience as many women are caustic to other women. So I relate to what Ms. McLarin's friend is saying as I too have had that happen to me throughout my life.
Author Kim McLarin offers a wide view of her life and the aspect of trying to find love through honesty and no holds-bar use of words. I gathered so many amazing quotes throughout the book. I grew to understand a life that in no way would I have experienced growing up in Utah. Do I understand being teased, picked on, and being different than my peers? Absolutely. However, I did not live in a world where there was a systematic generational struggle to just be seen as an equal. I can't imagine having to deal with being a woman and being a minority at the same time. That is where this book helped me to understand the struggle that Black Women encountered as being a double minority.
I have been told by friends that my review might not be accepted by some people because I am White. This is absurd. I can still enjoy a book no matter the color of an author's skin or the color of my skin (which by the way is a light caramel color as I have a natural tan pigment thanks to my German ancestry.) As a reader, I can relate to what the author writes about on the whole because I am an empathetic, compassionate, and educated people watcher. My skin color in no way negates my being able to review this book.
Womanish is a handbook for rising out of the ashes and being who you are, not how people see you...
There are so many humanistic truths in this book that I had to keep re-reading to make sure I didn't miss any of the realities this book talks about. There are also so many ugly things that Ms. McLarin has gone through with her experiences of dating and "online dating" which by reading this book has shown me to have made her stronger, and yet a tad cynical about love. I think that one of my sons would agree with her that "online dating" just sucks all the way around.
Using key quotes from other authors, motivational speakers, and real-life people to reinforce her experiences is a gold mine. I especially liked Page 101 where she talks about the lies we believe about ourselves being the center of the universe from babyhood on to whenever either our parents or the world teaches us the opposite. If only all people would learn this lesson. And still, at various times in our lives, we go back to that "lie" that we are "better than", more "special than" someone else. This is something I agree with -- it is pure bunk no one is better than anyone else! These are things she has taught her daughter trying to break the "wrong messaging" in her head about being inferior to a majority race. It's what I taught my daughter also that she is fierce, level-headed, and can make decisions based on her "truths" not what others see or think of her, and still capable of understanding that others are her equals and deserve her respect.
Ms. McLarin talks about gender equality. Her discussion about the physical acts of sex and the way men and women differ in their thoughts about it was refreshing. It was to the point, hilariously ironic, and overall factual. No matter what a man thinks about how sex is for a woman it's all about "emotions" that are neither the sole desire nor the actual truth. Give me a break women don't feel desire just for the sake of wanting sex? Right...
To be honest, did I agree with all of what was written in Womanish? No. That my friends is the joy of reading and opening up your heart to understanding. It's like communicating with a friend, you don't always agree with their views but you can still be accepting of their views as they see them and apply those things you hadn't thought about and agree with into your heart and mind which will help make your life better and your dealings with your fellow humans more meaningful.
I wish that my copy wasn't an ARC so that I could quote so many of the truths that she gives. It was an uplifting read from me although, I know that some non-Black readers will take offense to the capitalization of B in black and not capitalizing W for white, which is just too bad because they will be missing the bigger story, and prove Ms. McLarin's point.
Womanish is filled with love, wisdom, truth, and a residual of the ugliness that is racism and the strength of people who are trying to raise themselves from a past filled with blockades of raising to the equality of everyone else in the country at the same time inspiring her child to be the best of who she is and see life as it should be, not as it has been.
Thanks to IG Publishing for the opportunity to read Womanish by Kim McLarin for of my honest review.
You can read this book now as it was released on January 22, 2019. Help the "moms and pops" of the industry to stay open... buy the book at your favorite Indie Bookseller, or if you really must buy from your local big box bookstore to keep your taxes low by supporting your local community.
For writing quality and honest life lessons.
"My distrust of white women at work has escalated. It wasn't something that I thought about a whole lot previously, but recently I've become aware of one who smiles in my face but whom I've learned has done some serious backstabbing behind my, well, back..."
I tend to find this, for me, to be more of a gender experience, not a racial experience as many women are caustic to other women. So I relate to what Ms. McLarin's friend is saying as I too have had that happen to me throughout my life.
March 4, 2019
Sometimes we happen across a written piece we wish we could share with the world. In this collection of thoughtful and eye-opening essays, the piece I want to share with the world is the chapter entitled: Mothering While Black. McLarin delivers a stunning look inside the world of parenting children amid a storm of racism which swirls around them threateningly from the time they exit the safety of their mother's womb. This chapter will bring tears to your eyes and, to be honest, it will plant a seed of dread in your gut which will grow larger and larger. Racism begins at birth and I want to say to my white community, you need to acknowledge this. You need to worry about it. You need to do what is right and fight it. Those babies and those mothers and fathers need us to see, and to hear, and to respond.
May 30, 2021
This collection was the first text I've read by Kim McLarin, and I will certainly be diving into more of her work. As a 20-something Black woman (and womanist), this book was something I needed: resonant, wise, educative, clever, and often grin- and chuckle-inducing.
The singular thing I didn't like about Womanish was its apparent lack of copyediting or proofreading. I mean, I'm assuming it was edited/proofed — but judging by the number of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors (and sheer typos and style inconsistencies) through this book, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. Unfortunate, as it detracted from the content itself, which was thoroughly stellar. I'm also surprised no one else mentioned this issue in their reviews, but I'm admittedly a stickler when it comes to this stuff, so maybe most haven't noticed?
Subpar editing and all, this is still a five in my book!
The singular thing I didn't like about Womanish was its apparent lack of copyediting or proofreading. I mean, I'm assuming it was edited/proofed — but judging by the number of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors (and sheer typos and style inconsistencies) through this book, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. Unfortunate, as it detracted from the content itself, which was thoroughly stellar. I'm also surprised no one else mentioned this issue in their reviews, but I'm admittedly a stickler when it comes to this stuff, so maybe most haven't noticed?
Subpar editing and all, this is still a five in my book!
March 31, 2019
This collection of essays is for me, now. Although I'm a little younger than the author, we're generationally similar in ways that are impactful for me. Even when I didn't quite agree, I felt like I understood what Ms. Mclarin was telling me at a bone-deep level. Her essay blowing up OK Cupid's findings about the state of Black female dating was uplifting; the essay about her nephew being sentenced to prison was crushing, and her wry asides in the essay blowing open the difficulties and power systems operating in b/w female friendships were illustrative and sharp. Overall, this was a quick and worthwhile read, and I'm glad for having experienced it.
January 17, 2020
Think book was actually good , it was hard to read the first few pages cause I wasn’t really interested until she started. Talking about dating as a black women and raising black children in white America . I’ve never really thought about why most black women don’t have a lot of white female friends . When talking to white people sometimes I just question the authenticity of the conversation since they are known to be vary fake and nice but actually don’t even like you . . It was a very interesting read I highly recommended it .
September 22, 2021
Trying to branch out from my usual reading habits (asian fiction) so I picked this collection of essays by a black American woman to read (mostly due to the cute cover art, I will admit). Highly recommend "Becky And Me", about race, and "Eshu Finds Work", about the author's depression. The only truly low point is "Victim and Victor Both Start With V" which is surprisingly tone-deaf re: the Obamas. I was expecting better from an author so on-the-nose elsewhere in the book than to fall into the usual Americentric remarks about the Obamas being good people rather than war criminals who ought to be hanged in the Haag. But I find middle-class American people of colour often tend to have blinkers on about their own complicitness in the destruction of the rest of the world. Oh well. Otherwise a very interesting read.
May 15, 2019
I was looking forward to reading this book. Excellent title, beautiful cover, interesting essays. At times it seemed overloaded with statistics/citing; and in those times, I wished for more of her own words (or less citing). Or maybe because two other books I’ve read by McLarin (Jump at the Sun, Divorce Dog—both great books) alluded to or mentioned the same/similar viewpoints, that I felt I’d already read this book before. Overall, a good read.
April 27, 2020
I really enjoyed this book. I loved the style of writing, the perspective, the total honesty - all delightful. I've never read any of McLarin's books before, so I have no idea what her novels are like, but this was very refreshing and a fast read. Even the parts that made me cringe and spend some time in self-analysis.
I will confess that I was *very* distracted by some much needed editing, so I hope at some point someone goes back and fixes some of the typos and inconsistencies!
I will confess that I was *very* distracted by some much needed editing, so I hope at some point someone goes back and fixes some of the typos and inconsistencies!
February 8, 2020
I was very impressed with this book of essays, and intend to seek out McLarin's other writing. I'll come back to this and write a longer review later. I always have such deep admiration for the craft of essay writing - so to read these which are so full of clarity, honesty, intellect, and depth, was a real treat.
February 2, 2022
Womanish is one of those rare books you read in one sitting and reread again at a leisure pace. By far, it is my favorite book I read in 2021. McLarin shares all aspects of her life with honesty, wisdom, and a credible voice. I love the subtle humor in lessons learned about romance. Overall, I got a sense of all the seasons in a writer's life. I hope she writes about the following chapters ahead.
March 12, 2019
I would love to have a dinner date with Ms. McLarin. I loved her voice and her oh too familiar life experiences in my hometown of Memphis, TN. Thank you so much for your transparency and humor. Reading your essays gave me the warmth of wine with a close girlfriend.
November 1, 2021
Great Read!
It took me a few days to get through this book but I think there is so much to unpack that I may have to read through it again slower so I do not miss anything of importance.
It took me a few days to get through this book but I think there is so much to unpack that I may have to read through it again slower so I do not miss anything of importance.
April 13, 2019
This is the delightful book of essays about some heavy topics I’ve been looking for for a while. This book has definitely made me smarter but I’ve hooted with laughter at least 3 times.
May 13, 2019
Damn! can this woman write. Unflinching and clear and unadorned and deeply insightful. I borrowed this from the library but may need to purchase a copy for future re-reads.
June 27, 2019
A sharp and thought-provoking collection of essays.
July 31, 2019
I highly recommend these essays. They are well written, easy to connect with, and they make you think. I only wish the book did not have so many typos, but that’s probably silly.
August 21, 2019
4.5 stars
I loved this book of essays. The end.
I loved this book of essays. The end.
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