What do you think?
Rate this book
The Wait: Love, Fear, and Happiness on the Heart Transplant List
As a new year approached, Jennifer Bonner embraced college life and flourished as a visual artist. Childhood heart problems rarely clouded her thoughts. Then, unusual fatigue led to terrifying news. Without a heart transplant she would die soon. As she put it, “The bomb dropped today.”
While she waited most of 1988 for a new heart, she lived. And as she relished each day, she wrote. Her diary entries frankly address love, sex, friendship, art, and mortality, and reveal a young woman determined to thrive.
Poignant, irreverent, and bold, The Wait is Jen’s diary, framed by the stories of her remarkable family and heart surgery advances. Steady medical progress brought her two decades of life and hope for decades more. But Jen’s continued survival depended on chance events that she and her doctors couldn’t control.
While she waited most of 1988 for a new heart, she lived. And as she relished each day, she wrote. Her diary entries frankly address love, sex, friendship, art, and mortality, and reveal a young woman determined to thrive.
Poignant, irreverent, and bold, The Wait is Jen’s diary, framed by the stories of her remarkable family and heart surgery advances. Steady medical progress brought her two decades of life and hope for decades more. But Jen’s continued survival depended on chance events that she and her doctors couldn’t control.
- GenresNonfiction
376 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 17, 2018
8 people are currently reading
66 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 10, 2018
The Wait: Love, Fear, and Happiness on the Heart Transplant List defies categories in a way that drives book marketers mad. But also, it succeeds in the more important ways that keep readers up late, stick in the memory, and lodge forever in the heart.
It is the story of a bright girl’s blossoming, despite the physical limitations imposed upon her at birth, and of her wait for a new heart when the original wears out just as she reaches adulthood. If John Green hadn’t already written The Fault in Our Stars, he would have snatched up this story and broken a million teen hearts with it.
The Wait is a memoir of sorts—but not an illness memoir in which a plucky protagonist looks back upon her ailments and emerges victorious.
Jennifer Bonner started writing and sketching in diaries at the age of ten. By the time she reached college as a National Merit Scholar, she arrived with the self-awareness of an adult, the social experience of a wall flower, and the appetites of a Fauvist. But Jen never got the opportunity to go back and prune her diaries and bring the detached wisdom of the memoirist. [Spoiler Alert: Her final lines will bring you to your knees.]
The Wait is also a biography of sorts. Susan Cushman, who knew Jen from childhood, brings in an informed perspective—about her parents and brother, the college town in which Jen grew up, and the experiences of being a talented young woman in a small community that still hadn’t figured out what to do with an emancipated woman who just might die.
The Wait deepens the account of college and familial life with an overview of the perilous time and propitious place in which Jen entered the world. A place where society looked out for the medical expenses of poor graduate students. Where medical professionals had advanced their practice just far enough to enable baby Jen to survive. And where community members helped stretched parents manage two disabled kids.
The Wait lifts the curtain on how medicine advances, despite failures. Tell me you wouldn’t read on after encountering this on the first page:
"HELEN TAUSSIG LINED her workspace at Johns Hopkins with containers of preserved hearts from children she had known and been unable to save. A pediatrician specializing in heart problems in the 1930s, there was little she could do to help most of her patients. Though she hadn’t much more to offer than an oxygen tent, at least she could try to understand what was wrong with their hearts.
"Often, she learned whether her diagnosis was correct only after her patient died."
I will confess here, I've been around this book's journey since it was a carton full of diaries and a wish in the hearts of Jen Bonner's parents. For five years, I've watched the care, perspective and artistry that Susan Cushman has brought to The Wait.
After multiple readings and discussions, through edits and reorganizations, Jen Bonner's writing still brings me to attention and admiration. Her bravery and her wisdom still steal my breath at the conclusion of this story.
This is a beautiful book about an extraordinary life, sustained by remarkable "lionhearted" parents, a supportive community, and a medical profession that deals with the very hardest cases—children facing imminent death.
Read it and weep, and come out amazed and inspired.
It is the story of a bright girl’s blossoming, despite the physical limitations imposed upon her at birth, and of her wait for a new heart when the original wears out just as she reaches adulthood. If John Green hadn’t already written The Fault in Our Stars, he would have snatched up this story and broken a million teen hearts with it.
The Wait is a memoir of sorts—but not an illness memoir in which a plucky protagonist looks back upon her ailments and emerges victorious.
Jennifer Bonner started writing and sketching in diaries at the age of ten. By the time she reached college as a National Merit Scholar, she arrived with the self-awareness of an adult, the social experience of a wall flower, and the appetites of a Fauvist. But Jen never got the opportunity to go back and prune her diaries and bring the detached wisdom of the memoirist. [Spoiler Alert: Her final lines will bring you to your knees.]
The Wait is also a biography of sorts. Susan Cushman, who knew Jen from childhood, brings in an informed perspective—about her parents and brother, the college town in which Jen grew up, and the experiences of being a talented young woman in a small community that still hadn’t figured out what to do with an emancipated woman who just might die.
The Wait deepens the account of college and familial life with an overview of the perilous time and propitious place in which Jen entered the world. A place where society looked out for the medical expenses of poor graduate students. Where medical professionals had advanced their practice just far enough to enable baby Jen to survive. And where community members helped stretched parents manage two disabled kids.
The Wait lifts the curtain on how medicine advances, despite failures. Tell me you wouldn’t read on after encountering this on the first page:
"HELEN TAUSSIG LINED her workspace at Johns Hopkins with containers of preserved hearts from children she had known and been unable to save. A pediatrician specializing in heart problems in the 1930s, there was little she could do to help most of her patients. Though she hadn’t much more to offer than an oxygen tent, at least she could try to understand what was wrong with their hearts.
"Often, she learned whether her diagnosis was correct only after her patient died."
I will confess here, I've been around this book's journey since it was a carton full of diaries and a wish in the hearts of Jen Bonner's parents. For five years, I've watched the care, perspective and artistry that Susan Cushman has brought to The Wait.
After multiple readings and discussions, through edits and reorganizations, Jen Bonner's writing still brings me to attention and admiration. Her bravery and her wisdom still steal my breath at the conclusion of this story.
This is a beautiful book about an extraordinary life, sustained by remarkable "lionhearted" parents, a supportive community, and a medical profession that deals with the very hardest cases—children facing imminent death.
Read it and weep, and come out amazed and inspired.
June 2, 2018
The Wait is the amazing journal of a young woman who knows that something she can’t control is coming, but who wants to go ahead and live now: in short, to not wait. It’s a brave, loving book, utterly free of anything pretended or false. It won’t waste anyone’s time, but instead takes us into the world of a person who wants to learn how to embrace life even in its scariest and saddest moments—without, at the same time, surrendering her desire to be free from all that, to be funny and bold and to pursue her own hopes and longings. I think it is a book that will mean a lot to many different kinds of readers: people struggling with their own direct sense of mortality; people wondering about time and its passing; people trying to break past some sort of block that is keeping them from digging through sorrows to the joys of their lives; people who are young now, and don’t know how to be with all that holds; were young in the 1980s, and are now...not. We should all be grateful to her family for sharing this remarkable journal, and to the editor Susan Cushman for publishing it with such care. Cushman’s narrative commentary sets the journal in a time and place, and helps us follow Jen’s reflections on it. I say Jen, because I was privileged to know her. For years, I’ve had a memory of the last time I saw her, sitting in a chair in an apartment in Northfield, late in the Fall of 1988. She was tired; I was packing to leave for Christmas; it was one of those evenings when she was irrepressibly alive—more so than me, despite suffering from heart failure—and yet eventually even she had to say goodbye. She left, and that was the last time I saw her. There’s been a lot of sadness since, but this book brought back the feeling of being around her, her exact voice and humor and beauty. To sit with it is to be with a wonderful friend, artist and human being, and to realize how deeply she cared about and shared with the world during her time. Her writing is so intimate and so concrete, that I think anyone reading it will immediately feel that they’re up late with her at one of her parties, fighting against what can’t be known, drinking life deeply in. It’s amazing that as she was writing for herself, she managed to write for so many other people as well.
April 17, 2018
I never watched the movie Love Story, the romantic tragedy based on the Erich Segal novel. It was released on December 16, 1970, two days after my mother succumbed to breast cancer and I saw no need to pursue entertainment, or enlightenment, from reminders of my own experience with life’s unfairness. This aversion, packed away with my avoidance of slasher movies and Mexican restaurants, has served me well for nearly 50 years.
Therefore, it was with some trepidation that I picked up The Wait (Love, Fear and Happiness on the Heart Transplant List), Jennifer Bonner’s and Susan Cushman’s brilliant narrative of the life and times of Jen as a young adult, thriving in her own way with a congenital heart defect. The Wait draws extensively from Jen’s daily diary, revealing the psyche of a vivacious (in its intended sense), witty, self-aware, compassionate, artistic and realistic college co-ed. My years at Carleton College, the setting for much of the book, and my deep and abiding respect for Jen’s parents, mandated investing in Jen’s story.
I will take the dividends to my grave.
Cushman, a retired physician, offers us remarkably understandable descriptions of the medical challenges faced by Jen and her family. We are guided through some of the breakthroughs in heart surgery and transplantation that make today’s procedures so commonplace and, as in 1988, make the shortage of donors a major impediment faced by the practice. Cushman also provides sufficient, but not overbearing, narrative to help us put Jen’s diary in context, allowing us to focus on the wisdom offered by a remarkable young woman.
Jen Bonner does not deny the seriousness of her health challenges. But neither does she allow herself to be subsumed by them. Her diary reflects what I am told are normal yearnings of maturing young women, with a twist: Someday I’m going to graduate. Someday I’ll get a job. Someday, I’ll get married. Someday, I’ll get a heart transplant.
An accomplished artist, Jen joyfully celebrates the accolades received for her work, yet gratefully accepts criticism from a visiting professor, knowing it will allow her to hone her skills as she dreams of someday supporting herself with her art. Jen’s musings about her love interests, expressions of sexual desire, jealousies and fantasies permeate the diary, underscoring the normalcy she pursues during The Wait and reminding the author and the reader that Jen focused on long-term goals that loomed beyond pre-transplant physical limitations.
Finally, Jen, at 20, understands far better than most of us, despite our additional years of experience, the importance of celebrating the big and the little beauties life has to offer. Her cognizance jumps from the pages of her diary and, whether discussing her art (If I can paint something that will shift someone’s balance toward beauty, I will have contributed to their overall happiness and to what I consider to be the base intent, purpose, and necessity of life.), or what should be important to us all (I am blessed with the beauty in my life. Loving parents, many friends, good food, my own studio–I have my own studio! Life is beautiful. I will enjoy however much I get and whatever form it comes in.), Jen Bonner, with Susan Cushman, makes us rethink our priorities as we move through life in the midst of our own Wait.
0.
Therefore, it was with some trepidation that I picked up The Wait (Love, Fear and Happiness on the Heart Transplant List), Jennifer Bonner’s and Susan Cushman’s brilliant narrative of the life and times of Jen as a young adult, thriving in her own way with a congenital heart defect. The Wait draws extensively from Jen’s daily diary, revealing the psyche of a vivacious (in its intended sense), witty, self-aware, compassionate, artistic and realistic college co-ed. My years at Carleton College, the setting for much of the book, and my deep and abiding respect for Jen’s parents, mandated investing in Jen’s story.
I will take the dividends to my grave.
Cushman, a retired physician, offers us remarkably understandable descriptions of the medical challenges faced by Jen and her family. We are guided through some of the breakthroughs in heart surgery and transplantation that make today’s procedures so commonplace and, as in 1988, make the shortage of donors a major impediment faced by the practice. Cushman also provides sufficient, but not overbearing, narrative to help us put Jen’s diary in context, allowing us to focus on the wisdom offered by a remarkable young woman.
Jen Bonner does not deny the seriousness of her health challenges. But neither does she allow herself to be subsumed by them. Her diary reflects what I am told are normal yearnings of maturing young women, with a twist: Someday I’m going to graduate. Someday I’ll get a job. Someday, I’ll get married. Someday, I’ll get a heart transplant.
An accomplished artist, Jen joyfully celebrates the accolades received for her work, yet gratefully accepts criticism from a visiting professor, knowing it will allow her to hone her skills as she dreams of someday supporting herself with her art. Jen’s musings about her love interests, expressions of sexual desire, jealousies and fantasies permeate the diary, underscoring the normalcy she pursues during The Wait and reminding the author and the reader that Jen focused on long-term goals that loomed beyond pre-transplant physical limitations.
Finally, Jen, at 20, understands far better than most of us, despite our additional years of experience, the importance of celebrating the big and the little beauties life has to offer. Her cognizance jumps from the pages of her diary and, whether discussing her art (If I can paint something that will shift someone’s balance toward beauty, I will have contributed to their overall happiness and to what I consider to be the base intent, purpose, and necessity of life.), or what should be important to us all (I am blessed with the beauty in my life. Loving parents, many friends, good food, my own studio–I have my own studio! Life is beautiful. I will enjoy however much I get and whatever form it comes in.), Jen Bonner, with Susan Cushman, makes us rethink our priorities as we move through life in the midst of our own Wait.
0.
April 18, 2018
It’s a simple yet profound truth that the years in your life don’t matter as much as the life in years, but it’s one thing to consider an adage—and something entirely different to read the story of a young woman who lived this truth. Jennifer Bonner—or Jen—is the profoundly endearing subject and hero of this book. Born with a heart defect and a guarded prognosis, this is the story of a girl who courageously grows into an exceptionally bright, sensitive, articulate, kind, and artistically gifted young woman.
We may well be “spiritual beings having a human experience” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin), but our spirits are of course limited by where our bodies can take them. To understand just how and why Jenny’s life was physically such a struggle for her, Dr. Susan Cushman helpfully provides us with a clear picture of heart anatomy, explanation of Jen’s progressing symptoms, as well as essential background of the nature and treatment of congenital heart problems. The problems with Jen’s heart were severe, and during most of her 22 years she waited for a heart to become available for transplant. The Wait is about a girl courageously determined to live as fully as her young body with a damaged heart will allow her, despite the dark shadow of doubt cast over her from the moment she was born.
The words of Jennifer Bonner’s diary are so engaging and her youthful courage so inspiring that the end of her life will tear your own heart out. (You should feel free to cry, I sure did.) But at the same time anyone reading this book will be richer for having met this young woman through her story, for having been given a window on her life through her diary entries. Jen’s account in her journal of what would be the last year of her life is not the self-indulgent writing that most of us put down in our early twenties. Her writing is not only that of a bright, courageous, funny, and charming young human being—this is a person you will wish you could have known as a friend. This is a young woman any of us would be proud to have as a daughter.
This story could have happened to any of us, or to any of our children. If it had happened to me, I don’t know that I could have filled 22 years as well as Jen did. And how many of us could have been parents as fiercely loving, brave, and devoted as Bob and Barbara Bonner?
The reproductions of Jen’s lovely and poignant artwork that are interspersed with her journal entries further support one’s appreciation of her life and also illustrate the wry sense of humor she managed to create in the middle of her struggle and hardship.
We may well be “spiritual beings having a human experience” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin), but our spirits are of course limited by where our bodies can take them. To understand just how and why Jenny’s life was physically such a struggle for her, Dr. Susan Cushman helpfully provides us with a clear picture of heart anatomy, explanation of Jen’s progressing symptoms, as well as essential background of the nature and treatment of congenital heart problems. The problems with Jen’s heart were severe, and during most of her 22 years she waited for a heart to become available for transplant. The Wait is about a girl courageously determined to live as fully as her young body with a damaged heart will allow her, despite the dark shadow of doubt cast over her from the moment she was born.
The words of Jennifer Bonner’s diary are so engaging and her youthful courage so inspiring that the end of her life will tear your own heart out. (You should feel free to cry, I sure did.) But at the same time anyone reading this book will be richer for having met this young woman through her story, for having been given a window on her life through her diary entries. Jen’s account in her journal of what would be the last year of her life is not the self-indulgent writing that most of us put down in our early twenties. Her writing is not only that of a bright, courageous, funny, and charming young human being—this is a person you will wish you could have known as a friend. This is a young woman any of us would be proud to have as a daughter.
This story could have happened to any of us, or to any of our children. If it had happened to me, I don’t know that I could have filled 22 years as well as Jen did. And how many of us could have been parents as fiercely loving, brave, and devoted as Bob and Barbara Bonner?
The reproductions of Jen’s lovely and poignant artwork that are interspersed with her journal entries further support one’s appreciation of her life and also illustrate the wry sense of humor she managed to create in the middle of her struggle and hardship.
April 15, 2018
I was surprised by how this diary got under my skin and stayed with me after I finished reading it. I continue to think of Jen Bonner and how so much of her diary was typical and filled with the usual teenage and young adult angst about how to find one's place in the world (I remember so well). At the same time, Jen's writing is also quite unique and insightful as she faces the oncoming train of mortality at such a young age with a blend of courage, fear and matter-of-factness. Cushman’s additions about the history of advances in heart transplants are informative and provide a helpful backdrop to the drama of Jen’s situation as it unfolds through the excerpts from her diary. Jen’s wisdom, optimism and humor are inspiring, no matter what age.
April 10, 2018
Poignant, complex, and life-affirming.
The gripping story of a vulnerable and resilient young woman facing the ultimate challenge.
A coming-of-age story made intensely compelling by a deadly health issue that hangs over her always. The diary-like entries expose her wants and dreams, her courage, and captivating outlook.
Seamless, inspired writing, and editing.
A very powerful and emotionally engaging work.
I'm giving to my wife for her to start asap.
The gripping story of a vulnerable and resilient young woman facing the ultimate challenge.
A coming-of-age story made intensely compelling by a deadly health issue that hangs over her always. The diary-like entries expose her wants and dreams, her courage, and captivating outlook.
Seamless, inspired writing, and editing.
A very powerful and emotionally engaging work.
I'm giving to my wife for her to start asap.
April 13, 2018
A very moving book about a young woman's desire to live a 'normal' life while faced with serious medical issues. Jennifer Bonner writes beautifully in her diary about her life with keen insights. Susan Cushman provides the context around Jennifer's life--the medical issues about Jen's heart condition, how her family copes with her condition and the community that supported Jen.
April 17, 2018
This is one amazing read--and one amazing gift! The gift being in how to continue to say--'yes to life'--despite the cards we may be dealt at any point in time. What could be grounds for many of us to throw in our cards and quit the game, young Jennifer Bonner, facing a life or death heart transplant, instead moves full steam ahead--saying 'yes to life' on all fronts. And not only Jennifer, but also her amazing family.
Jennifer moves forward with a ferocious honesty and the artistry and wisdom of someone well beyond her 21 years. Take the entry from Jennifer's diary shortly after learning she needs a heart transplant: "Who cares whether you die at 120 or 22? This is my deal. I've seen enough to know I'm lucky. So I play it for all it's worth. I'll have fun along the way--already have. Mozart could've written more, but he could've written less."
She never runs away from her fears but faces them head on, often diffusing those fears with a cathartic, self-effacing sense of humor. In one diary entry she writes: "Nothing I can do today can cheer me up, but that's okay with me. I like being depressed once in a while. It's a break. Otherwise, happiness gets to feeling brittle." Even when, as many of us have experienced, she is unlucky in love, her sense of humor prevails: "I know it's obvious, but it wasn't until tonight that I really realized that True Love might not prevail. We were honest. We laid down our cards. And I lost. So now I wish we could go back to bluffing for a little longer."
Jennifer Bonner's co-author, Susan Cushman, deftly interweaves Jennifer's story with the simultaneous and rather fascinating drama unfolding in the world of heart transplant procedures--in all of its fits and starts, its disappointments and stunning breakthroughs. Cushman does this in language easily understood to the average person and provides a rich medical context for what Jennifer and her family were facing.
This obviously was a labor of love for Cushman. Jennifer and her family remain front and center so that we the readers can witness the love and courage of this amazing young woman and her family. And this 67-year old reader was right there alongside Jennifer, learning from her how to continue saying--'Yes to Life!'
Jennifer moves forward with a ferocious honesty and the artistry and wisdom of someone well beyond her 21 years. Take the entry from Jennifer's diary shortly after learning she needs a heart transplant: "Who cares whether you die at 120 or 22? This is my deal. I've seen enough to know I'm lucky. So I play it for all it's worth. I'll have fun along the way--already have. Mozart could've written more, but he could've written less."
She never runs away from her fears but faces them head on, often diffusing those fears with a cathartic, self-effacing sense of humor. In one diary entry she writes: "Nothing I can do today can cheer me up, but that's okay with me. I like being depressed once in a while. It's a break. Otherwise, happiness gets to feeling brittle." Even when, as many of us have experienced, she is unlucky in love, her sense of humor prevails: "I know it's obvious, but it wasn't until tonight that I really realized that True Love might not prevail. We were honest. We laid down our cards. And I lost. So now I wish we could go back to bluffing for a little longer."
Jennifer Bonner's co-author, Susan Cushman, deftly interweaves Jennifer's story with the simultaneous and rather fascinating drama unfolding in the world of heart transplant procedures--in all of its fits and starts, its disappointments and stunning breakthroughs. Cushman does this in language easily understood to the average person and provides a rich medical context for what Jennifer and her family were facing.
This obviously was a labor of love for Cushman. Jennifer and her family remain front and center so that we the readers can witness the love and courage of this amazing young woman and her family. And this 67-year old reader was right there alongside Jennifer, learning from her how to continue saying--'Yes to Life!'
April 18, 2018
This book is a gift. It's the diary of Jennifer Bonner a brilliant young woman born with congenital heart disease and her determination to live a rich life as she faces down the abyss. It's the story of her wait for a heart transplant that she needs to live, and the story of astonishing pluck. Susan Cushman, her co-author (not sure if that's the right word) sets the stage for us by introducing her parents and guiding us through the small liberal arts college community they are part of, Jennifer a student and her father a history professor, and with a historical overview of heart transplant medicine.
As I started to read the book, I wondered if I could read something with this much sadness. And it is sad. I cried more than once, for her, for her parents, for the world that lost so much when she left us. But it is also incredibly joyful. Is it the proximity of mortality that distills the present so clearly for her? I wish I could go back in time and give my twenty year old self this book and say, "This is what it's about. You aren't guaranteed anything, live your life fully and in the present, don't waste it!"
The story resonated particularly with me because like Jen, I was an art major at Carleton College. I was taken back to the my days in Boliou, the art building, and the excitement and anxiety of being a young artist. I was amazed at the way she thought about art, I don't think I ever had that kind of intellectual understanding of what I was up to. If only she could have been part of my senior seminar.
Thanks Susan Cushman for putting this out there, Jennifer Bonner was a shining light that should not be hidden away. I would highly recommend this book to anyone, and especially the young, who can gain so much from the way Jen lived her short life.
As I started to read the book, I wondered if I could read something with this much sadness. And it is sad. I cried more than once, for her, for her parents, for the world that lost so much when she left us. But it is also incredibly joyful. Is it the proximity of mortality that distills the present so clearly for her? I wish I could go back in time and give my twenty year old self this book and say, "This is what it's about. You aren't guaranteed anything, live your life fully and in the present, don't waste it!"
The story resonated particularly with me because like Jen, I was an art major at Carleton College. I was taken back to the my days in Boliou, the art building, and the excitement and anxiety of being a young artist. I was amazed at the way she thought about art, I don't think I ever had that kind of intellectual understanding of what I was up to. If only she could have been part of my senior seminar.
Thanks Susan Cushman for putting this out there, Jennifer Bonner was a shining light that should not be hidden away. I would highly recommend this book to anyone, and especially the young, who can gain so much from the way Jen lived her short life.
April 18, 2018
The Wait: Love, Fear, and Happiness on the Heart Transplant List is written by two writers on parallel tracks. We meet Jennifer Bonner in 1988, through her diaries, when she is a 21 year old college student. Jen has survived severe congenital heart defects and has developed into an exceptional young woman. Susan Cushman, a physician and writer, tells us why the when and where of Jen’s birth were so important, and provides a timeline of medical and surgical developments that take us up to 1988. Cushman’s excellent writing, though a small fraction of the book, is essential. Jen’s diary entries are wonderful, well written and highly readable chronicles of her fully lived life despite being on the wait list for a heart transplant. She writes of her family, art, friends, classes, CRUSHES, love, sex, clothes, food (there is a lot of food!) and the realities of her declining health.
I loved this book. I highly recommend it.
I loved this book. I highly recommend it.
April 16, 2018
Jen Bonner's journals and Susan Cushman's context come together in a rich and moving story. Jen describes her life in late adolescence that was simultaneously unique and universal. She writes about love, fear, happiness, friendship in a way that we know she is an old soul. Susan Cushman provides the well documented status of the field of heart surgery at the time as well as adding the voices of Jen's family members so that we, as readers, come to understand not only the impact of Jen's experience on her own life, but on those who loved her as well. The book is moving, heartbreaking, funny, and rich.
Want to read
July 14, 2019I was friends with Jennifer in college -- we lived on the same floor my junior year (her sophomore year) and she had to leave school during my senior year. Her father was one of my favorite professors. I'm not sure I'm ready to read this book (hell, I still can't listen to Suzanne Vega without hearing Jennifer singing along) but I'm happy that it's out there and that others can meet her this way -- she was such a lovely, funny, warm, gifted person.
Read
January 2, 2019Beautiful story of a real person's experience on the heart transplant list.
April 22, 2018
We know how this book ends. Because of the inevitable, I chose to start reading on a fairly dreary Saturday when I knew nothing much would be asked of me. Lucky for me I chose that day. Once I started reading, I simply couldn't stop. I got sucked into Jen's life, into her present moment. I was right there with her, experiencing life with all senses, straight on, passionately and unapologetically. Most of us who have kept diaries probably cringe a little at the thought of someone else reading our hopes, desires, dreams, musings, longings, and inward conversations. In Jen's case, there was no embarrassment or looking away, just a complete embrace of this young woman who could sift together her love of fuchsia high heels on one page and What is Art? on another. Jen's consideration of tangible little details and the big, deep meaning of what we are all doing here is expertly edited by Susan Cushman, who also gives us a medical framework and enough narrative to tie story together. My life hasn't been quite without Jen since I finished reading her words; I'm better off for taking the time to enter her mind and soul on a somber spring weekend.
May 12, 2018
moving meditation on life, love and impermanence
This is the story of a young woman who, surrounded by caring family and friends, squeezes every drop of joy, wisdom and love from a life tragically shortened by congenital heart disease. Jenny Bonner lives on through her diary, reminding us to be true to ourselves, ask the tough questions, be unfailingly optimistic, and—most importantly—seek deep connections and love. What a moving meditation on life, love and impermanence!
This is the story of a young woman who, surrounded by caring family and friends, squeezes every drop of joy, wisdom and love from a life tragically shortened by congenital heart disease. Jenny Bonner lives on through her diary, reminding us to be true to ourselves, ask the tough questions, be unfailingly optimistic, and—most importantly—seek deep connections and love. What a moving meditation on life, love and impermanence!
January 22, 2019
This was a wonderful story by a truly lovely person!
July 13, 2025
"I’m torn in half by waiting. I want to have sex and wear my cowboy boots. I want to drive across the country, paint deserts, and go dancing. All these things I have to wait to do. But I don’t want to put my life on hold. More and more, it seems there’s just no way I’ll get the transplant until I’m in the hospital. There are so many people waiting. There are so many things I want to do that take more energy than I have. So many ideas that are more concrete than just floating around in coffee shops and bars and doing the odd watercolor.
But still, I’m coming to think that the peak of human experience is sitting around in a coffee shop, a truck stop, or a small-town bar with a good group of friends. If you want to look at the Big Picture, you can hold hands and have a look, while still feeling secure and not lonely. But it’s the small picture where you are that makes you feel cozy and feel like life is happy and worth living.
And sitting in the L&M feels just like dancing."
- From Jennifer Bonner’s diary, dated 11/18/1988, p. 325
But still, I’m coming to think that the peak of human experience is sitting around in a coffee shop, a truck stop, or a small-town bar with a good group of friends. If you want to look at the Big Picture, you can hold hands and have a look, while still feeling secure and not lonely. But it’s the small picture where you are that makes you feel cozy and feel like life is happy and worth living.
And sitting in the L&M feels just like dancing."
- From Jennifer Bonner’s diary, dated 11/18/1988, p. 325
September 9, 2018
Sorry but I didn't find this as enjoyable as I had hoped. Maybe I'm too old to appreciate the thoughts of a twenty year old. Or maybe it's because I kept picturing the little 6 year-old Jennifer that I knew (I was one of those 32 students mentioned on p. 28 who went to London with Bob Bonner in the fall of 1972), so it was difficult for me to picture her as an adolescent/young adult.
April 22, 2024
If you want to cry with happiness and sadness, this book is for you!
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews