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Smart but Scattered--and Stalled: 10 Steps to Help Young Adults Use Their Executive Skills to Set Goals, Make a Plan, and Successfully Leave the Nest
Whether you're a young adult who is stalled on the journey to independence--or a concerned parent still sharing the family nest--this compassionate book is for you. Providing a fresh perspective on the causes of failure to launch, the expert authors present a 10-step plan that helps grown kids and parents work together to achieve liftoff. Learn why brain-based executive skills such as planning, organization, and time management are so important to success, and what you can do to strengthen them. You get downloadable practical tools for figuring out what areas to target, building skills, identifying a desired career path, and making a customized action plan. Vivid stories of other families navigating the same challenges (including father and son Richard and Colin Guare) reveal what kind of parental support is productive--and when to let go.
288 pages, Paperback
First published November 29, 2018
About the author
Richard Guare
27 books12 followersRICHARD GUARE, PH.D., (Rye, NH) is a neuropsychologist and the Director of the Center for Learning and Attention Disorders.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
November 17, 2020
The first 10 minutes of listening to this brought tears to my eyes because I felt so "heard" for the first time in a long time! Parenting a person who is ostensibly an adult but obviously still a child is really hard and felt isolating when it seems like everyone else's kids are going to college. I'm certainly not a "tough love" type, but I also don't want to throw my kid to the wind when he obviously needs some extra time to mature. This book hits the perfect balance of being compassionate, maintaining standards and encouraging growth.
I knew it was going to be good because I read "Smart but Scattered Teens" when my son was in high school. Apparently Guare's publishing schedule lines up really nice with the age of my son. His books are carefully written, well-researched and will give you immediately useful tools and a sense of realistic optimism.
I knew it was going to be good because I read "Smart but Scattered Teens" when my son was in high school. Apparently Guare's publishing schedule lines up really nice with the age of my son. His books are carefully written, well-researched and will give you immediately useful tools and a sense of realistic optimism.
March 1, 2023
54: 2023
Excellent resource for older teens and new adults. I'll be purchasing a print copy for our household/newly minted adult.
Excellent resource for older teens and new adults. I'll be purchasing a print copy for our household/newly minted adult.
January 21, 2020
Is this book the result of helicopter parenting? Some very valuable information to take a clear and deep look into the parent/child/young adult relationships and how and why they often end up as they do.
June 5, 2026
I think that all of us, or at least many of us, might get stalled and fall behind in life. Society around us might make us feel guilty and unworthy; because it gives us the impression that life has a linear structure, where you move from point A to point B in a specific amount of time.
People with ADHD, and people who have mental health conditions, might disagree with this notion, people like us, know and and realize that we are vulnerable creatures, and that we can fall behind, that doesn't mean it's a hopeless case.
This book isn't exactly directly about ADHD skills, although their is a focus on planning and setting goals, it isn't what you might expect if you are scattered and need methods and techniques to focus and organize yourself. It's more about parents of young adults, who are stalled in their career and academic life, along with their young adult sons and daughters, to cooperate together in an effective way, without being authoritarian and forceful, to make it to autonomy and independence.
It isn't your typical ADHD skills book, it actually, it benefited me, although, I'm not only suspected to have ADHD, but mainly I suffer from prolonged & chronic depression that took many years from my life. And at the age of 34 I'm still finding my way to independence, and that sometimes makes me feel ashamed. But in the book, I was reading, and it gave me food for thought. I considered new career plans and goals, made a plan for the next 6 months of my life, and how to pivot if AI takes away my job as an English<>Arabic translator.
Also their are tests for you to know your executive skills, and take inventory of your interests and passions, how can on relate his or her passions to the job market? How can he plan for academic life and a stable career? This is what the book is about.
Sometimes my ADHD mind got very bored and fed up with the amount of details in the pages of the book, but no problem, because I read these pages anyway but with lack of focus, but they also made me think useful thoughts about my future, and how to find my way through it.
If it was just a reading book, I would give it a 3, but since I wrote many many notes inside the book and it made me think and get my pencil and write down all my goals and mane aspects of my life, so it becomes very useful, and I therefor give it 4 stars.
Still not a 5 because it is not one of my favorite favorite ones, but it deserves respect and appreciation.
I don't think I can read the entirety of the book all over again, but I for sure will need to get back to many chapters and sections to read them in a more laser focus manner and apply practically.
People with ADHD, and people who have mental health conditions, might disagree with this notion, people like us, know and and realize that we are vulnerable creatures, and that we can fall behind, that doesn't mean it's a hopeless case.
This book isn't exactly directly about ADHD skills, although their is a focus on planning and setting goals, it isn't what you might expect if you are scattered and need methods and techniques to focus and organize yourself. It's more about parents of young adults, who are stalled in their career and academic life, along with their young adult sons and daughters, to cooperate together in an effective way, without being authoritarian and forceful, to make it to autonomy and independence.
It isn't your typical ADHD skills book, it actually, it benefited me, although, I'm not only suspected to have ADHD, but mainly I suffer from prolonged & chronic depression that took many years from my life. And at the age of 34 I'm still finding my way to independence, and that sometimes makes me feel ashamed. But in the book, I was reading, and it gave me food for thought. I considered new career plans and goals, made a plan for the next 6 months of my life, and how to pivot if AI takes away my job as an English<>Arabic translator.
Also their are tests for you to know your executive skills, and take inventory of your interests and passions, how can on relate his or her passions to the job market? How can he plan for academic life and a stable career? This is what the book is about.
Sometimes my ADHD mind got very bored and fed up with the amount of details in the pages of the book, but no problem, because I read these pages anyway but with lack of focus, but they also made me think useful thoughts about my future, and how to find my way through it.
If it was just a reading book, I would give it a 3, but since I wrote many many notes inside the book and it made me think and get my pencil and write down all my goals and mane aspects of my life, so it becomes very useful, and I therefor give it 4 stars.
Still not a 5 because it is not one of my favorite favorite ones, but it deserves respect and appreciation.
I don't think I can read the entirety of the book all over again, but I for sure will need to get back to many chapters and sections to read them in a more laser focus manner and apply practically.
March 29, 2025
All 10 steps can be summed up with one simple cheat, "come from money":
-take a 6mth unpaid internship in a field you have no education , no experience and no skills in and just have your parents cover all of your expenses whilst you live at home
-have your parents help pay your bills and/or for your apartment
-Work in a field you absolutely hate but are well-paid in. In his example he said construction. It's fine that it's absolutely soul crushing, just develop a nest egg and then figure out what you want to do...This isn't impossible to do, but it's definitely harder than what Guare made it out to be. Very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps'
It also felt deeply misogynistic which caused me to stop reading it numerous times. A lot of the case studies just seemed to focus on women being incompetent and stressed worrying about traditional values, that weren't included in the case study that focused on a man.
I'm glad I borrowed this from the library, even tho I had to borrow it multiple times before I actually made it through lol
Who might like this? Boomers trying to form a better sense of understanding with their adult or teenaged children. Most of the content is very traditional/conservative, but it does at least point out the fact that the economy is very different today than it was when boomers were becoming adults, just to then essentially suggest that the new adult just manages it anyways.
-take a 6mth unpaid internship in a field you have no education , no experience and no skills in and just have your parents cover all of your expenses whilst you live at home
-have your parents help pay your bills and/or for your apartment
-Work in a field you absolutely hate but are well-paid in. In his example he said construction. It's fine that it's absolutely soul crushing, just develop a nest egg and then figure out what you want to do...This isn't impossible to do, but it's definitely harder than what Guare made it out to be. Very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps'
It also felt deeply misogynistic which caused me to stop reading it numerous times. A lot of the case studies just seemed to focus on women being incompetent and stressed worrying about traditional values, that weren't included in the case study that focused on a man.
I'm glad I borrowed this from the library, even tho I had to borrow it multiple times before I actually made it through lol
Who might like this? Boomers trying to form a better sense of understanding with their adult or teenaged children. Most of the content is very traditional/conservative, but it does at least point out the fact that the economy is very different today than it was when boomers were becoming adults, just to then essentially suggest that the new adult just manages it anyways.
January 13, 2024
Outstanding for parents and teens to read. As a mom of boys that struggle with some executive functioning skills, this book had many ideas and resources to help us. It took the fighting away and let parents and adult teens work together to make and implement a plan to be independently successful. Thank you!!!
July 22, 2022
Finally a book that gives step by step guidance on how to get a stuck adult child moving forward. Whether it’s unknown goals, anxiety, or too much comfort that’s holding your young adult back, parents can collaborate with their adult children to learn ‘adulting’.
August 13, 2023
I was really impressed with Smart but Scattered so decided to read this book catered to young adults. I think it has some valuable insight and actionable recommendations for both young adults with executive functioning skills and their parents.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews