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The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships
An Integral Part of the Human Experience
As humans, most of us yearn for fulfilling relationships. They provide unlimited ways for us to learn, grow, thrive, and have fun!
Yet, as we know, relationships aren’t always a “bed of roses”—especially romantic ones. They don’t make themselves, nor do they continue happily on autopilot once they begin.
In this one-of-a-kind book, bestselling authors don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. and HeatherAsh Amara share their seven secrets to healthy, happy
CommitmentFreedomAwarenessHealingJoyCommunicationReleaseUnderstanding and enacting these principles can help you at any stage in your intimate partnering, whether you’ve been with someone for many years or are currently single and want to prepare for a relationship.
The authors make clear that the principles in this book aren’t secrets because they are hidden away, but are more akin to undiscovered focal points that can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Part of the secret, as you will see, is in the art of putting these ideas into practice day after day and year after year.
As humans, most of us yearn for fulfilling relationships. They provide unlimited ways for us to learn, grow, thrive, and have fun!
Yet, as we know, relationships aren’t always a “bed of roses”—especially romantic ones. They don’t make themselves, nor do they continue happily on autopilot once they begin.
In this one-of-a-kind book, bestselling authors don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. and HeatherAsh Amara share their seven secrets to healthy, happy
CommitmentFreedomAwarenessHealingJoyCommunicationReleaseUnderstanding and enacting these principles can help you at any stage in your intimate partnering, whether you’ve been with someone for many years or are currently single and want to prepare for a relationship.
The authors make clear that the principles in this book aren’t secrets because they are hidden away, but are more akin to undiscovered focal points that can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Part of the secret, as you will see, is in the art of putting these ideas into practice day after day and year after year.
259 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2018
961 people are currently reading
1839 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
November 7, 2018
I loved this read. I have notes all over the place.
When I first ordered this book, I didn't realize that its focus was romantic relationships. But the lessons and secrets outlined can be applied to relationships all across the board an especially your relationship with yourself.
I'm currently on a journey to be a better person and break toxic behavior and life patterns that have plagued me most of my awareness. This book crystallizes so much for me. It's clear, direct and so incredibly on point. It helped me wrap my around so much of how my childhood continues to impact my relationships. When I read about opposite and parallel behaviors, there was a major a-ha! moment!
Just get this book already.
Instead of me reading all of what I have highlighted and underlined to my sister, I just ordered her own! Gifts for friends -- I just need to order this book in bulk!
A few stand-out quotables are below. Note: a few because the whole damn book is on point.
*Breaking up with your victim.
"What many people don't realize that how you speak to yourself affects your relationships with others."
"Whenever it arises, if you find yourself in a reactive, heavy, or fearful place in your relationship, you'll want to ask yourself two questions: (1) Is there a past emotional wound that is coming up in my current relationship? (2) Is there some idea, belief, or role I am maintaining that is no longer true for me? Oftentimes, both of these questions will apply to your situation."
"When we habitually go against our own desires by doing what the other person wants, not rocking the boat, or staying quiet, we invite misery into our relationships."
"Passive aggressive communication is often based on a need for control that comes from a fear that we will not get what we want or need from our partner -- that we have to engineer it ourselves."
"Remember, commitment to you means that sometimes you say no to your partner from a place of love rather than saying yes from a place of accommodation. It's okay to say no to others in order to say yes to yourself."
"When you trust yourself, your release the idea that having trust for someone else can sustain you fully, because now you have your own back. You know that you can trust yourself to talk to your partner if they do something that hurts you, you can trust yourself to ask for what you need, and you can trust yourself to end the relationship if needed."
"Nothing is 'good' or 'bad' unless we make it so. The most difficult situation can benefit your relationship, and the most minute thing can damage it. Even when we haven't chosen a situation, we get to choose our response."
"... avoiding or postponing the end of a relationship can bring stagnation and suffering to both partners."
See ... so many quotables.
When I first ordered this book, I didn't realize that its focus was romantic relationships. But the lessons and secrets outlined can be applied to relationships all across the board an especially your relationship with yourself.
I'm currently on a journey to be a better person and break toxic behavior and life patterns that have plagued me most of my awareness. This book crystallizes so much for me. It's clear, direct and so incredibly on point. It helped me wrap my around so much of how my childhood continues to impact my relationships. When I read about opposite and parallel behaviors, there was a major a-ha! moment!
Just get this book already.
Instead of me reading all of what I have highlighted and underlined to my sister, I just ordered her own! Gifts for friends -- I just need to order this book in bulk!
A few stand-out quotables are below. Note: a few because the whole damn book is on point.
*Breaking up with your victim.
"What many people don't realize that how you speak to yourself affects your relationships with others."
"Whenever it arises, if you find yourself in a reactive, heavy, or fearful place in your relationship, you'll want to ask yourself two questions: (1) Is there a past emotional wound that is coming up in my current relationship? (2) Is there some idea, belief, or role I am maintaining that is no longer true for me? Oftentimes, both of these questions will apply to your situation."
"When we habitually go against our own desires by doing what the other person wants, not rocking the boat, or staying quiet, we invite misery into our relationships."
"Passive aggressive communication is often based on a need for control that comes from a fear that we will not get what we want or need from our partner -- that we have to engineer it ourselves."
"Remember, commitment to you means that sometimes you say no to your partner from a place of love rather than saying yes from a place of accommodation. It's okay to say no to others in order to say yes to yourself."
"When you trust yourself, your release the idea that having trust for someone else can sustain you fully, because now you have your own back. You know that you can trust yourself to talk to your partner if they do something that hurts you, you can trust yourself to ask for what you need, and you can trust yourself to end the relationship if needed."
"Nothing is 'good' or 'bad' unless we make it so. The most difficult situation can benefit your relationship, and the most minute thing can damage it. Even when we haven't chosen a situation, we get to choose our response."
"... avoiding or postponing the end of a relationship can bring stagnation and suffering to both partners."
See ... so many quotables.
January 5, 2019
Great book
Wish I would've read this with my partner years ago/had him read it with me. Unconditional love goes deeper than people think. It is a higher intuitive
Wish I would've read this with my partner years ago/had him read it with me. Unconditional love goes deeper than people think. It is a higher intuitive
December 16, 2024
This was a good reminder of how important it is to be aware, work on your personal healing, and to be vulnerable with yourself and your partner. Relationships require a balance between safety and freedom. While every relationship is different, joy and unconditional love must be at play during the time we have together.
April 14, 2023
This book was a quick read, which I absolutely love when it comes to these types of books. I found it very eye opening to areas of myself that I need to improve on. Whether you’re in a relationship or not I think it’s worth the read.
November 30, 2019
Another classic...this book takes the four agreements and utilize them to provide applicable steps to developing loving relationships. The authors were a couple who demonstrated ways to implement unconditional love for self and one's partner. This book used anecdotal evidence to support philosophies and opinions. Well-written, inspiring, and very useful for dealing with conflict and for improving relationships.
Dr. James Arthur Williams
www.unmaskytp.com
Dr. James Arthur Williams
www.unmaskytp.com
November 26, 2021
For me, this entire book could have been shortened into one article. Also, the tips provided in this book really aren’t any “secrets” - finding fun activities to do with your partner, open communication, don’t play the victim, etc. etc.
October 21, 2018
Learned alot
So much wisdom. I liked the lessons about communication the best. It also suggests your commitment to honoring yourself is important
So much wisdom. I liked the lessons about communication the best. It also suggests your commitment to honoring yourself is important
May 28, 2020
Perfect for me and my other half; your mileage may vary. I thought it was well-laid-out and incredibly thoughtful. The length of the book, the contents of the chapters, and the information provided was really spot-on. It wasn't like reading a textbook, yet it had the perfect amount of substance.
I learned a lot and opened myself up to things I hadn't previously considered. I'd recommend this book to anyone in a relationship: two copies, actually, because one for you and one for them.
I learned a lot and opened myself up to things I hadn't previously considered. I'd recommend this book to anyone in a relationship: two copies, actually, because one for you and one for them.
September 24, 2025
Ενα πολύ στοχευμένο και ενδιαφέρον βιβλίο, που όπως αναγράφεται και μέσα, δεν σου αποκαλύπτει κάποια μεγάλα μυστικά, αλλά σου φωτίζει τον δρόμο για να θυμηθείς αυτά που ξέρεις ήδη.
Όλη η ουσία του βιβλίου βρίσκεται στα τελευταία κεφάλα, πρέπει όμως να διαβαστεί από την αρχή για να κατανοηθεί πραγματικά, πράγμα που μου αρέσει όταν συμβαίνει στα βιβλία.
Θεωρώ βέβαια, ότι θα μπορούσε να εντρυφήσει λίγο περισσότερο στην δράση-αντίδραση μεταξύ του ζευγαριού, δηλαδή πώς μπορούμε να χειριστούμε μια κατάσταση αν εμείς εφαρμόζουμε όσα γράφονται μέσα, αλλά ο σύντροφος μας όχι.
Όλη η ουσία του βιβλίου βρίσκεται στα τελευταία κεφάλα, πρέπει όμως να διαβαστεί από την αρχή για να κατανοηθεί πραγματικά, πράγμα που μου αρέσει όταν συμβαίνει στα βιβλία.
Θεωρώ βέβαια, ότι θα μπορούσε να εντρυφήσει λίγο περισσότερο στην δράση-αντίδραση μεταξύ του ζευγαριού, δηλαδή πώς μπορούμε να χειριστούμε μια κατάσταση αν εμείς εφαρμόζουμε όσα γράφονται μέσα, αλλά ο σύντροφος μας όχι.
May 8, 2020
So many life lessons inn this book
I was privileged to be made privy to some wonderful and beautiful "secrets" not only for love and relationships but for life itself.
I was privileged to be made privy to some wonderful and beautiful "secrets" not only for love and relationships but for life itself.
February 12, 2020
This may be the most eye opening relationship book I've read, and I think it could help so many people even NOT in a relationship to just be better, happier people. I plan to re-read this at least every year. The audiobook version is great, too. I just put it on when I'm making a long drive because I could hear it 100 times and it wouldn't get old (because the things that are discussed here are so contrary to what we are taught in popular culture today).
November 8, 2022
Me gusto el libro porque te da buenos consejos para aplicar en tu relaciones (no necesariamente de pareja) incluso puedes aplicarlos en tu vida diaria :)
Solo que en algunas se me hizo muy repetitivo
Solo que en algunas se me hizo muy repetitivo
June 1, 2021
I listened to this via audiobook on my lockdown walks and really enjoyed it. I will definitely be getting it in physical form as it's another one of Ruiz books that I can see myself returning to in the future. It has already given me so much to think about in my current relationship with my partner. It's also made me reflect on past relationships and my relationships with friends and family.
Each section is explained in such an accessible way and I liked the use of examples.
Each section is explained in such an accessible way and I liked the use of examples.
January 26, 2024
Wow! I am so thankful that I have this book in my personal library. It will be something I refer back to over years to come so that I may grow as an individual in my relationships. While this is focused on couples/partners it can easily be transferred to relationships with friends, family, or coworkers.
Learning and growing ourselves is the way to have healthy relationships with those around us. I hope if you are reading this review hopefully, you will take a chance and give this book a try.
Learning and growing ourselves is the way to have healthy relationships with those around us. I hope if you are reading this review hopefully, you will take a chance and give this book a try.
December 19, 2021
Applicable for all relationships
I am single and has been for a while so i read this book as a way to understand how to better relate to others, anyone, specially people who push my buttons. I found the book to be a loving reminder to live from the heart so that the love can flow freely regardless of the issues that may come up with any other being.
I am single and has been for a while so i read this book as a way to understand how to better relate to others, anyone, specially people who push my buttons. I found the book to be a loving reminder to live from the heart so that the love can flow freely regardless of the issues that may come up with any other being.
January 16, 2024
I highlighted big chunks of this book! It is full of excellent advice, much of it common sense but so easy to overlook or forget when we get caught up in our daily lives. The focus of this book is primarily romantic relationships, but the advice can be applied to any treasured relationship in your life, including close friendships and family relationships too. I will be referring back to this book often.
March 9, 2024
I think this is a very well written, quick read that can really lead you to forge more healthy relationships. The concepts are easy to understand and some of the exercises I believe can be beneficial that are given in the book. While the book is mainly written for romantic relationships, many of the ideas can be applied to everyday relationships with either friends or family.
November 27, 2024
Wow, incredible read. Highly recommend everyone read this book. I walked away so many tools that I could use in my everyday relationship with family, friends, and a partner. The book is written in a way that is specific to a happy, healthy relationship with a partner but I noticed that it is applicable in any kind of relationship.
June 15, 2020
Enlightening
If taken seriously, these lessons when practiced can offer inner peace. This book offers more than secrets to building happy and healthy relationships with intimate partners, but also to learning how to love yourself.
If taken seriously, these lessons when practiced can offer inner peace. This book offers more than secrets to building happy and healthy relationships with intimate partners, but also to learning how to love yourself.
Read
October 24, 2020Very enjoyable book on a subject that seems simple at times but at other times is deceptively hard: how to achieve a healthy, and happy relationship. The presentation of the seven themes (secrets) is well done, and very approachable. Definitely worth a read.
August 12, 2022
كتاب رائع آخر لدون ميغيل رويز في العلاقات، حيث يتضمن شرحًا وارشادات وطرق كثيرة للتواصل وفهم العلاقة عوضًا عن تقديم رؤية شمولية فحسب للمفاهيم التي يجب على الفرد معرفتها وادراكها في العلاقة. مثري ومفيد.
September 21, 2023
Insightful and practical read
I found this book incredibly useful in understanding what it takes to create and nurture a healthy, happy relationship - with your partner, and more importantly, yourself! The insights shared are also very practical to apply.
I found this book incredibly useful in understanding what it takes to create and nurture a healthy, happy relationship - with your partner, and more importantly, yourself! The insights shared are also very practical to apply.
March 11, 2024
I read most of this for a book club discussion. I felt like it was a mix of really good advice and really unhelpful advice, and the way the authors talked as though they were the source of all wisdom kind of turned me off. But it was a great book to discuss with friends.
August 14, 2020
An interesting take on relationships based on The Four Agreements, it has some good insight for how to best show up in a committed relationship and how to show grace to another.
December 1, 2020
Great read very insightful I learned a lot about myself and how my relationships work.
January 11, 2021
Beautiful insights on communication between people inn all type of relationships (whether romantic or friendly, and in work environments)
Toltec wisdom at its finest
Toltec wisdom at its finest
January 30, 2021
Fantastic book. Excellent.
January 30, 2021
Wonderful piece of wisdom! Will be using this to guide me through my personal challenges in relationships
October 31, 2021
One of the relationship books I reread on a regular basis.
September 29, 2022
Quick read with great content
Loved this book, it gave a good description of what is important in a relationship and how to work with that!
Loved this book, it gave a good description of what is important in a relationship and how to work with that!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews