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A man boards a train, hoping to see the daughter he has heard nothing from for seven years. As he travels towards his destination, he restlessly revisits the events that blew apart their seemingly perfect world. With acute insight, sparkling imagination, and vividly arresting prose, Phil Whitaker explores the very best and worst that families can do, and what are the forces that shape us; and, against powerful traumas reverberating down the generations, can true love prevail?
272 pages, Paperback
Published April 15, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 24, 2018
You, by Phil Whitaker, tells the story of a father whose teenage daughter cut him out of her life after he left her mother. Told in flashbacks as he makes his way across the country to meet her for the first time in seven years, unsure if she will turn up at the rendezvous, it is a tale of inherited hurts and modern manipulation. The premise may sound familiar but its execution soars above similar tales, offering the reader an incisive portrayal of family breakdown and the damage caused by a vindictive parent from a father’s point of view.
Stevie Buchanan now lives in a West Country village but he grew up in the north of England. As he travels to Oxford, where his daughter is studying medicine and the family once lived, he takes her on an imaginary tour of significant places and events from their wider history. In his mind they fly together through time and space to observe her grandparents and parents as children. He wishes her to understand why each of them turned out as they did and how, ultimately, this caused his marriage to fail and her mother to use her children as a means to punish him for not being whatever it was that she needed.
The repercussions of parental actions ripple down through the generations. Parents’ treatment of each other, their attempts to offer what they believe is best for their offspring, perceived favouritism, and the children’s desire for love and to support a parent who is hurting, form a potent mix. The suffering and slights pierce the chrysalis of developing psyches affecting behaviours as the children grow and then become parents themselves.
When Stevie was rejected by his daughter and he came to realise how impotent he was in the face of court orders and social services, he struggled to cope. He joined a support group where other parents in similar circumstances look out for each other. Running through the narrative is a thread on the people he encounters here and their experiences. It makes for sobering reading. These are the parents whose ex-partners wield their children as pawns in their own emotional power plays.
Stevie’s flights with his daughter appear somewhat surreal yet the framework enables the telling of a history that succinctly encompasses the emotional cost of thwarted expectations. Family members and close friends take sides and are sometimes rejected. It is not just the historic damage to his wife that is explained but also Stevie’s reasons for staying as long as he did. Having left, the resulting fallout is better understood alongside the stories of his fellow victims in the support group.
The writing is subtle and concise, causes and reactions vividly expressed without need for lengthy explanations. It is refreshing to read of marriage breakdown from a husband’s point of view, although the focus remains on how the actions of all affect children long term. This is an evocative depiction of family and its reverberations.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Salt.
Stevie Buchanan now lives in a West Country village but he grew up in the north of England. As he travels to Oxford, where his daughter is studying medicine and the family once lived, he takes her on an imaginary tour of significant places and events from their wider history. In his mind they fly together through time and space to observe her grandparents and parents as children. He wishes her to understand why each of them turned out as they did and how, ultimately, this caused his marriage to fail and her mother to use her children as a means to punish him for not being whatever it was that she needed.
The repercussions of parental actions ripple down through the generations. Parents’ treatment of each other, their attempts to offer what they believe is best for their offspring, perceived favouritism, and the children’s desire for love and to support a parent who is hurting, form a potent mix. The suffering and slights pierce the chrysalis of developing psyches affecting behaviours as the children grow and then become parents themselves.
When Stevie was rejected by his daughter and he came to realise how impotent he was in the face of court orders and social services, he struggled to cope. He joined a support group where other parents in similar circumstances look out for each other. Running through the narrative is a thread on the people he encounters here and their experiences. It makes for sobering reading. These are the parents whose ex-partners wield their children as pawns in their own emotional power plays.
Stevie’s flights with his daughter appear somewhat surreal yet the framework enables the telling of a history that succinctly encompasses the emotional cost of thwarted expectations. Family members and close friends take sides and are sometimes rejected. It is not just the historic damage to his wife that is explained but also Stevie’s reasons for staying as long as he did. Having left, the resulting fallout is better understood alongside the stories of his fellow victims in the support group.
The writing is subtle and concise, causes and reactions vividly expressed without need for lengthy explanations. It is refreshing to read of marriage breakdown from a husband’s point of view, although the focus remains on how the actions of all affect children long term. This is an evocative depiction of family and its reverberations.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Salt.
July 30, 2018
This book made me think of one of those multifaceted diamonds, reading it is like looking randomly at its different faces, each one highly polished and shining in the sunlight, the whole very valuable, and once you have looked at them all you appreciate the three dimensional whole that they add up to. It's a look at the issue of parental alienation - parents who through a combination of acrimonious family breakup and an imperfect legal system end up shut out of the lives of their children. Told through a series of short glimpses into the back story of Stevie, who has not seen his 21 year old daughter for 7 years, and members of the support group he is a member of, it draws the reader in via easy to understand vignettes all of which, later on, turn out to have symbolic significance.
Questions abound in the early stages - just how reliable a narrator is Stevie? Is he genuinely into astral projection or is he imagining flying? And in what time period are the support group sections (told in present tense but can't really be) taking place? All tantalising. You have to read on!
It's a roller coast ride, sometimes shocking, sometimes heart-warming, never boring. The writing crackles with intelligence. A simply stunning read.
Worth adding that I bought this book directly from the publisher, Salt Publishing, who at the time of writing are running a "Just One Book" promotion to ease financial pressures. I have yet to read a book from their press that was less than excellent and I urge other readers to check them out at https://www.saltpublishing.com/ . It seems to me that the demise of independent literary publishers like them would leave both writers and readers poorer.
Questions abound in the early stages - just how reliable a narrator is Stevie? Is he genuinely into astral projection or is he imagining flying? And in what time period are the support group sections (told in present tense but can't really be) taking place? All tantalising. You have to read on!
It's a roller coast ride, sometimes shocking, sometimes heart-warming, never boring. The writing crackles with intelligence. A simply stunning read.
Worth adding that I bought this book directly from the publisher, Salt Publishing, who at the time of writing are running a "Just One Book" promotion to ease financial pressures. I have yet to read a book from their press that was less than excellent and I urge other readers to check them out at https://www.saltpublishing.com/ . It seems to me that the demise of independent literary publishers like them would leave both writers and readers poorer.
May 4, 2018
Stevie formulates his predicament convincingly in terms of his former partner’s addiction to victimhood, rooted in her own mother’s indifference to her as a child. Much as I relished the acknowledgement of attachment issues and their impact on parenting, I’m afraid I found this rather preachy …
After art school: The Chalk Artist & You http://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post/...
After art school: The Chalk Artist & You http://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post/...
May 5, 2020
Many books either sink or float. This one soars.
The author has mastered writing on two levels at once; the clearly stated surface and the genius depths beneath. The result is a book that can be read both casually and be enjoyed as well as read thoughtfully and carefully and be delighted in.
The characters are easy to empathise with and realistic, embellished with tiny details that tug at the reader's heartstrings, as well as often carrying thematic relevance which is masterfully weaved in. The narrator in particular is very likeable and sympathetic. It's easy to feel for him deeply, celebrate in his few wins and mourn his many losses. He rings completely true. His devotion and love for his daughter shines off of the pages to the point that I felt that I knew both of them intimately and dearly wished for a favourable ending for both of them.
On an emotional level, this book hit me hard, and I will carry it with me for a very long time in my heart. The ending was perfectly deserved and emotionally charged, to the point that I shed tears over it. Of course, the quality of writing and gorgeous use of language only contributed to the success of this book.
My only minor complaint was that it took me a little time to get used to the narrative voice, but I think this was more of a me problem than anything else, and once I was settled in, it felt very fitting to me. The sky-high meetings concept was refreshing and interesting, and I was glad to see the author make a bold choice, as it paid off tenfold for me, especially in the closing chapters of the book.
I will look forward greatly to rereading, as I imagine I will only discover more commendable details as I do so. The author should feel very proud of himself for this achievement.
The author has mastered writing on two levels at once; the clearly stated surface and the genius depths beneath. The result is a book that can be read both casually and be enjoyed as well as read thoughtfully and carefully and be delighted in.
The characters are easy to empathise with and realistic, embellished with tiny details that tug at the reader's heartstrings, as well as often carrying thematic relevance which is masterfully weaved in. The narrator in particular is very likeable and sympathetic. It's easy to feel for him deeply, celebrate in his few wins and mourn his many losses. He rings completely true. His devotion and love for his daughter shines off of the pages to the point that I felt that I knew both of them intimately and dearly wished for a favourable ending for both of them.
On an emotional level, this book hit me hard, and I will carry it with me for a very long time in my heart. The ending was perfectly deserved and emotionally charged, to the point that I shed tears over it. Of course, the quality of writing and gorgeous use of language only contributed to the success of this book.
My only minor complaint was that it took me a little time to get used to the narrative voice, but I think this was more of a me problem than anything else, and once I was settled in, it felt very fitting to me. The sky-high meetings concept was refreshing and interesting, and I was glad to see the author make a bold choice, as it paid off tenfold for me, especially in the closing chapters of the book.
I will look forward greatly to rereading, as I imagine I will only discover more commendable details as I do so. The author should feel very proud of himself for this achievement.
July 23, 2018
If I were rating this book on the story alone it would be a 2star, but if it were based on the way it’s written and the literary style and ability to be thought provoking, it would be a 4star, so I’ve settled on 3...
I found the story line a little dull and disjointed, I didn’t quite understand why he kept referring to outer body experiences and kept thinking there would be a twist related to this.
It was quite a depressing subject matter but also very thought provoking. I enjoyed the parts with more psychology based analysis and they triangulation theory, but found the constant speculation of what his daughter would now be like to be tiresome and not necessary.
I’m glad I read it, but I can’t think of anyone I would recommend it on to...
I found the story line a little dull and disjointed, I didn’t quite understand why he kept referring to outer body experiences and kept thinking there would be a twist related to this.
It was quite a depressing subject matter but also very thought provoking. I enjoyed the parts with more psychology based analysis and they triangulation theory, but found the constant speculation of what his daughter would now be like to be tiresome and not necessary.
I’m glad I read it, but I can’t think of anyone I would recommend it on to...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 12, 2019
Load of self-serving bollocks. I couldn’t empathise at all, and my own stepfather has been through something extremely similar. It was totally insincere. The author sounds like he has a victim complex. It could have been believable up until the suicide/attempted murder towards the end.
And the whole flying above the trains together? I see the metaphor he was trying to create, but it just didn’t work or fit in with the tone of the rest of the book. Not worth the hours wasted reading it.
And the whole flying above the trains together? I see the metaphor he was trying to create, but it just didn’t work or fit in with the tone of the rest of the book. Not worth the hours wasted reading it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 29, 2018
A compelling, fast read - emotionally charged and with a ring of truth about it. A fascinating and affecting subject.
December 8, 2019
Time shifts, suspension of reality. Interesting study of loss..
April 10, 2022
Wow! Thought provoking, wonderfully told, powerful human experience tale. Loved it.
June 16, 2020
Excellent piece of literature. An excellent introduction to the hidden, unfair and murky world of the resident parent (often but not always, the mother) exercising power over their ex partners by restricting access to their children, backed by a legal system designed to protect them form abuse.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews