Prisoners Without Bars: A Caregiver's Tale

by Donna O'Donnell Figurski

Donna called 9-1-1. David slipped into a coma. At that moment, Donna was thrust onto the path of caregiver for her best friend and the love of her life. In her debut memoir, Donna shares how a neurosurgeon said that David would make a "great organ donor." She writes of arrogant doctors, uncaring visitors, insensitive ambulance drivers, and problematic nurses. She also tells of the many compassionate doctors, nurses, therapists, staff, strangers, family members, and friends who helped them on their journey. Donna compellingly describes her ability to appear positive as she experiences the horror of making life-or-death decisions. As her world crashes, she credits laughter as her lifesaver. More than 13 years later, Donna and David are living a "new normal" together.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Medicine

312 pages, Paperback

Published November 1, 2018

About the author

Author of "Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver's Tale"

Reviews

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had read the ARC of this book, and I am acquainted with Donna and David... but I read the final version even though I know how the story ends. It was still compelling and still held my interest and made me want to read ahead to find out what happens next. It was well paced. It is a story about traumatic brain injury, and a story about being a caregiver, but most of all it is a love story. Donna's strength and determination were amazing - she was a powerful advocate for David. I normally don't read nonfiction, but this was well worth reading (and paced more like a fiction book, which is a good thing to me). After I finished this book I read another nonfiction book, The Warner Boys, which was just as harrowing and inspiring. So now I am ready for some light reading!

[Angelle Barbazon · Rating 5 out of 5]

You don't have to look far to find someone who is a caregiver, or has at least taken on that role at some point in their life. Donna O'Donnell Figurski is one of them. She was unexpectedly thrust into the position of a caregiver for her husband, David, when he suffered from a traumatic brain injury and never fully recovered. In Prisoners Without Bars, Donna walks readers through her personal journey, the triumphs and the tragedies. Her experience is a true testament to the strength and resiliency we all possess but may not understand just yet.

[Patti McLaughlin Jugenheimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prisoners Without Bars is a heartwarming and inspiring true love story depicting the life of a wife who never gives up hope and fights for her husband's recovery after his traumatic brain injury. Once I started to read it, I couldn't put it down. It would be a wonderful gift for yourself or for anyone you know that is a caregiver.

[Nina Norstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Tis a memoir about two people and their lives. Let’s call them the “Extraordinaires.”

A lot of wonderful feedback has already been provided about this story. That’s a great thing!
And it proves my selection choice for this read was right on! I just love a good “show me” non-fiction story; especially, when seeing its characters and scenes come alive. This form of writing broadens one’s insight into another’s journey.
After reading this book, I learned a lot about the Figurski family (a.k.a the Extraordinaires). “Prisoners without Bars,” is descriptive in nature . . . teaching us the importance of family bonding, the massive role of a caregiver, how tragedy creeps in to rip a family apart, with its horrid crippling effects of one’s illness (in this case TBI), and its determination to push forward through the hurdles of destruction. And how that struggle to overcome takes love, determination, and togetherness . . . hitting a home-run to defeat its toxicity. For certain, the title was a prefect mix! The illness does take the victim and its caregiver as hostages; whereas they’re “Prisoners” inside its claws . . . captured without bars.
One will have to write a full storybook to tell the true beauty inside this memoir. When reading those pages, it takes one on an educational, enlightening, and inspiring journey (hitting high roads, crossing rough patches, and facing hurdles, and cradles). When I took that walk (alongside this author), I found we were laughing, crying together, and embracing the pain.

David, I salute you for speaking out and opening up (at the end), and the spectacular comeback you’ve made! Donna, kudos, to you for having courage to bring this story to light, and the many other hats you wear in spite of! Be assured, the talk show on this illness (topic) is a blessing to others. It took me several years to learn through that life cycle our Creator has many missions for us. Perhaps, this was your mission, your calling!

Word of caution to the readers: You must take heed and be aware. This journey could one day be yours!

[Marissa DeCuir · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to be best friends with Donna. In the midst of tragedy, she stands firm in what she believes and loves. She also isn't afraid to tell it like it is and have an adventure now and again (who says you can't go out and get a tattoo when you become a caregiver?). She's optimistic, resilient, and the kind of person you hope you'll get to meet one day. I loved getting to know her through this memoir!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am inspired and amazed by Donna's story. In the face of trauma and having to suddenly step into the role of caregiver, she is courageous! Prisoners without Bars does not sugar coat the role of caregiver but provides an encouraging tale of how to thrive through trauma. Not cope, not survive, but THRIVE! It's a book that will make you think from a new perspective and make you a better person for having read it.

[Lauren A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW, talk about a couple to root for. When her husband David suffers a sudden and traumatic brain injury, Donna has to step into a caregiver role with no prior experience. The love Donna and David have for each other is inspiring and beautiful. Together, they overcome so much and will truly make you believe in the power of love.

[Books Forward · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're like me and you've ever had a family member who has gone through a medical struggle and requires a caregiver, you'll find a new appreciation and outlook from "Prisoners Without Bars." The author doesn't shy away from how hard it is, but she also shows triumph and hope in the midst of suffering. I would highly recommend this book to anyone!

[Saul J Silverstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Prisoners without Bars, Donna O’Donnell Figurski regales the reader with the truth about traumatic brain injuries. Donna and David, married and in love, awake to the horror of David suffering from blinding pain after his morning exercises. Donna makes the call to 911 and enters the reality of what it means to have your way of life taken from you in a moment.

This is a story about their unremitting love, learning to cope with tragedy, and fighting to carry on their lives together. Here Donna artfully tells the story and provides a navigable path for others who wind up in this predicament. It is a journey through life by two extraordinary people who refuse to ever give in. By telling their tale, Donna offers hope and support for those who follow and must face the reality of recovery from this tragic blow to one’s life.

Donna and David prove that sharing is caring and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was a strong advocate for David because I knew that, against all odds, he would persevere and that Donna would never let him do otherwise. I admire all they have done and what they offer to others in this predicament.

To Donna and David “Keep on Dancing”.
With admiration for all you have done and for what you offer to others in this predicament thank you for sharing your story.
To Donna and David “Keep on Dancing”.
With admiration for all you have done and for what you offer to others in this predicament thank you for sharing your story.
Saul J. Silverstein, Ph.D.
Professor and Chair Emeritus of Microbiology and Immunology

“The Magic Man”

[Tonya · Rating 4 out of 5]

A caregiver is a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a young child, disabled individual, someone dealing with an illness or an elderly individual. Most of the time a caregiver is a family member who must make radical changes in their own lives in order to care for their loved one. Donna's husband, an incredibly active and healthy man, suffered a traumatic brain injury one morning and both of their lives changed forever. While Donna's husband became a prisoner of his own body (his mind remained intact, while his body suffered), Donna became a prisoner of her own life. This is truly a love story, as there is never a doubt that everything Donna does to help her husband is out of love for him. As someone who has been a caregiver in a much more limited capacity, I am amazed at her outlook on life, and the things she was able to accomplish in order to obtain the best possible outcome for David. I really enjoyed her writing style and found inspiration in the story as well. I'd recommend this to anyone, because at some point in our lives we shall all be a caregiver to a loved one to a certain extent.

**I received a digital version in exchange for a review**

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very moving account of how life can change overnight, and the struggles to get the proper care.

[Kiersten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal story of love, determination and an acceptance of a new life. A must read for anyone going through a medical trauma that changes everything about who you were. This is about finding meaning where you are now.

[Rosemary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prisoners without Bars author, Donna O’Donnell Figurski, unabashedly asks, “How was my vibrant, so-smart husband reduced to this?” when her husband, a respected Columbia professor with a PhD in molecular biology, struggled with the simplest of daily activities after his cerebellar hemorrhage. Her book is a testament to the importance of patient advocacy after brain injury, and their story of reinvention and resilience is a testament to the healing power of love.

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

This was a truly inspiring story about a woman's undying love for her husband and the difficult journey they both must endure as they make their way out of the dark abyss that is TBI (traumatic brain injury.)
***
I'd like to start off by saying it was an absolute breath of fresh air, reading a medical biography that wasn't riddled with typos, inconsistencies and long-winded illness descriptions that common folk like me have trouble deciphering. I got a fairly clear (though not perfect) idea of what TBI is like and it blew my mind to learn that it can take years and years to recover. If the patient ever recovers at all.
***
Donna (our narrator and David's wife and caretaker) did a wonderful job at finding the balance between conveying the severity of such an injury and the burden of suddenly becoming a caretaker, while also finding moments to insert humor and a lighthearted tone. But above all else, without meeting her, you can clearly tell that she adores her husband and was willing to go above and beyond to ensure he recovered. It was truly precious.
***
My only critique of the book was that sometimes there was a bit of over-explaining about certain subjects and some points became redundant. This probably has more to do with the fact that I have a short attention span and once something's been covered, I don't expect for it to be brought up again so quickly. But this is probably something only I found fault with.
***
Overall, this was a wonderful written book and I'm glad I downloaded it. It also does my heart good to know that the author and her husband are doing well. I don't regret the five days I spent finishing this story and I don't think you will either.

[Martha Graham-Waldon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Conquers All

Prisoner without Bars so closely mirrored my own life experiences, it was uncanny. Because I also faced a life threatening health crisis with my husband, I could definitely relate to Donna’s story. Even though ours was not a TBI, my husband was also in a coma and required rehabilitation once he survived his illness. The bizarre experience of basically living in a hospital with a family member for so long is something you never forget and caregiving for someone so helpless reveals the true meaning of love. Donna’s fierce devotion to her husband David touched my heart. She also translated medical jargon and explanations into understandable terms. I enjoyed following their journey with a deep appreciation for how they were able to live in the here and now and how they have been able to make the most of their lives together, despite the limitations and obstacles placed in their way. The short, engaging chapters made the book easy to read and hard to put down. I truly loved this book and I recommend it to anyone who is inspired by a love story that overcomes all the odds and celebrates the joy of life.

[Jared Figurski · Rating 5 out of 5]

When anyone is faced with an extreme medical emergency there is a great sense of hopelessness. They feel as though they are alone and are afraid of what the future may hold. At times like these a book like "Prisoners Without Bars" is worth its weight in gold. Throughout the tragedy that she and her husband David survived, Donna managed to document her experiences in great detail. Her account of the tragedy, the medical response, the long journey toward recovery and the saga of caregiving is splendidly told with heart, humor and valuable information. I recommend this read to caregivers, patients and to really just to everyone. I look forward to seeing more from this author.

[Judy Lipson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prisoners Without Bars is a heartwarming, honest and courageous story told with immense love. Donna’s journal kept throughout the experience parlayed into this gorgeous memoir is brave, truthful, raw. The warmth she and David have exuberates throughout bringing special individuals into their lives. Their unwavering love, strength and perseverance is remarkable.

Whatever challenge you face in life, not only TBI, that lessons learned and modeled from Donna and David will serve as a constant reminder the in an instant life can change. You can’t control that, how you chose to deal with the challenge, that is up to you.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book chronicling the events of a couple very much in love who endure the trials and tribulations of a TBI. Also some cute and funny moments that prove that humor can help get you through the tough moments. This book is a nice easy read and would definitely be a help and encouragement for any caregiver. Totally enjoyed and would recommend this book!

[Daniel H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a remarkable accounting of a catastrophe. The story shows how a traumatic brain injury changed the trajectory of the lives of two astonishing people: David Figurski, a world-renowned scientist, and Donna O’Donnell Figurski, a nationally recognized teacher and author—and David’s wife. In this time of turmoil and suspicion, this book describes the generosity of spirit that defines us as human. Why is it that David and Donna received such universal support from family; bureaucracies, like Honiss School and Columbia University; friends; friends of friends; and colleagues? The simple answer is that these two people represent the best of us.
The book details the events that occurred when an articulate, vibrant microbiologist at Columbia University suddenly suffers a traumatic brain injury. It reveals that after three weeks in a comatose state, David slowly begins to reconstruct his life and continues to do his research.
Donna describes her feelings as devoted wife and best friend—and now caregiver for her lifelong partner. She reveals her terror, hopes, and the concessions demanded by the tragedy.
If you or anyone you know has faced physical or emotional challenges that could change your life, this book is a must-read. It tells us how love, friendship, and optimism can overcome the most tragic events.
Daniel H. Fine, DMD
Professor and Chair, Department of Oral Biology
Director, Center for Oral Infectious Diseases
Rutgers School of Dental Medicine
Senior Associate Dean
Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences
Rutgers University

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not Great
I don't usually post bad reviews of books. But this book struck a nerve.
I am dealing with my son who had a massive stroke at the age of 39, for no apparent reason. He also underwent 2 brain surgeries, a decompressive hemicraniectomy, as well as a cranioplasty 6 months later. And got deathly ill from sepsis as well. He was in the hospital for 4 months, and inpatient rehab for 2 months. NEVER did myself or my daughter-in-law ever buck the hospital rules, (and this was during the height of COVID). or whine about OUR inconvenience, or constantly badger him to "perform and respond" as the author did. We encouraged him, we sat all day holding his hand and letting him rest. (An essential part of brain healing!). He too was on a ventilator, had a trach and PEG tube. He is paralyzed on his left side, speaks slowly, but we are so grateful to have him back. His odds of survival were less than 20%. Yes, there is damage. Yes, there are challenges. BUT this is about HIM. Not us. We would do anything for him. The author's whiny, "poor me" attitude, and her demands for special treatment are annoying and self-centered. My son is an amazing man. He has fought for every milestone he has accomplished. My daughter-in-law and I are doing everything we can to increase his independence with few resources. But we manage for HIM, no matter what. The author sounds like a spoiled selfish person who has never had to deal with inconveniences to herself, much less her poor husband. This is NOT a book I would recommend to caretakers.

[Yvette Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just finished reading this insightful book. It is about a couple and the after effects they both go through when, the husband, David suffers a Traumatic Brain Injury.

My partner recently underwent open heart surgery and when, the wife, Donna expressed her anxiety whilst waiting during the operation and all those negative thoughts. I too had experienced those thoughts. I called to check on my partner and his op was also much longer than anticipated. Her words brought back those feelings and memories in me once again. It was a good reflection and made me happy in the realisation that, yes we had all got through those moments, thankfully with a good outcome.

I was routing for David throughout and so very pleased and proud of him in returning to work and going on to achieve so very much. They are both tough cookies and determined not to stop fighting in all aspects of their life. Sharing their experience with others who find themselves in a similar position is heartwarming.

The book is also a show of sincere gratitude to everyone who touched their lives throughout the thirteen years the book covers - family, friends, work colleagues, specialists, carers etc.

I now wonder how the situation at the moment has further impacted on their life and hope they both continue to enjoy life and are still constantly living in the moment.

[Pete Springer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prisoners Without Bars is a compelling, honest, and heartfelt memoir by Donna O'Donnell Figurski as she retells the story of her husband David's traumatic brain injury (TBI) and how their world was suddenly turned upside down.

The story is not only a tale of David's courage and perseverance, but it's equally powerful because it's told from the perspective of his loving wife, Donna, who serves as his primary caregiver and advocate.

The honesty through which the author writes, sharing all of David's mini successes as he battles for his life while eventually realizing that he will never be himself again, makes for compelling reading. Donna shows in her actions that she will do anything to help David, but she is also courageous enough to admit she misses their old life. This perspective gave me a sense of how challenging this journey has been for them as I tried to put myself in the author's shoes, knowing each medical decision may lead to the life or death of her spouse. That constant pressure and accepting a new normal must have been the most enormous challenge.

The author pulled no punches and offered much praise for the medical professionals when deserved, but she was also openly critical when the care was lacking. What ultimately helped both of them through the most trying of circumstances was their solid support system.

[Ayezu Tamarapreye Okoko · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book from a patient,patient relative and caregiver perspective on salient issues affecting the profession of medicine and Medical law amongst others.The author looks at exhibition of competence that encompasses compassion for patients as true professionalism in medicine even as the professional upholds the Hypocratic Oath.This is relieved from a place of the author and her husband,David's personal experience.A brief perk is also made by the author into areas such as "make up" lessons;right of donor in organ donation;medical negligence; children taking after parents profession;importance of telephone in crises;appreciating and rewarding caregivers to encourage good hospital support system;the slow and steady nature recovery can take;healing power of music ;restoring confidence to normal routine life and how positive attitude is crucial to recovery.A reader of the book gets a feel of the world of medicine in practice. I love the authors use of imagery as almost at every moment, I felt I could find myself seeing the events as they occurred with vivid picturing.It is basically a tale of how crises can make a patient become a prisoner of their disabled body even as the patient relative and caregivers become prisoners of the patient's life.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you do when your husband staggers into the bedroom clutching his blood filled eye, and tells you he can't see? When he's in terrible pain, and the ambulance is so slow at getting to you? This was just the start of Donna and David's journey. A TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury - is something I'd never wish on anyone. Donna writes so movingly, and with such compassion and tender love for her husband David. She is an amazing lady, who at one stroke had her world turned upside down, but who puts such a positive spin on everything that has happened: and though she obviously has moments of self-doubt and anxiety, this is an uplifting book. Anyone who has been a carer, or has suffered a TBI or stroke will relate to this story. It's also a road map for anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, as there is so much helpful advice. But it's not a self-help book. It's a love story. A beautiful and inspiring story. A well-written and entertaining book, which I definitely recommend.

[Wendy L. Scott-Hawkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so much from reading this book about TBI's (traumatic brain injuries).
Donna tells the story of her husbands TBI in such a fashion that you want to read on to see where their journey leads. The hours spent of rehabilitation is what really left an impression on me as I, and I'm sure many others, hadn't realized the devasting effects of this serious occurence in one's life.
Their love for each other prevails and ties them together during David's recovery.
I enjoyed hearing Donna's perspective during the bulk of the book but I also thought it was a wonderful edition when David shared his side of the story in a brief chapter at the end.
This would be a very encouraging story of hope for anyone experiencing a TBI or know someone who is. It is also a great read if you like to read stories about overcoming all odds.

[Emma Filbrun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Traumatic brain injury. It's something I have had no experience with personally, but I know a woman whose husband has experienced it. Also, my daughter has been a caregiver to a young person with a degenerative disease, who is also a “Prisoner Without Bars.” I found this book very interesting, as Donna told her story about her husband's brain injury and the resulting on-going challenges they face as a result. I greatly admire her faithfulness in caring for him and supporting him through everything they have had to face. I also found it amazing how he did recover! This is a very interesting book, and I recommend it.
I received a review copy of this book from NetGalley, and these are my honest thoughts about it.

[Eve · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is a true statement about caregiving. The author did not seem to be tied to caregiving as many people truly are. Some of us did not have much help and did not have any outside life. She may have been bound more than in her usual previous life, but I know many who have taken care of others who dare not leave their house to go to church, grocery or visit anyone. These are true prisoners. Many cannot hire help or have family or friends to step in and help. I do not deny that she had a real problem in caregiving but she did have a lot of reprieves from it. This is my opinion only and I am happy to listen to other caregivers who read this.

[Steven Thau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only someone who has been on this journey could ever begin to understand that, with all the pain, we are still so very grateful for our new life. Donna O’Donnell Figurski tells her story of grace, love, frustration, anger, disappointment, strength, joy, and above all hope. I believe Donna and David’s beautiful, painful, and inspiring story will bring comfort, insight, and the hope that all does not have to be lost, even for a prisoner without bars and the person who loves him or her.


Judy, caregiver for her husband, Steve, who has a brain injury

[Lisabeth Mackall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel that Donna and David’s story reflects the heart of what many families experience during a critical, life-altering event. Stories such as theirs help others facing these events to better understand that life can go on - be it a new and different life - but you can move forward.

Lisabeth Mackall, MS CCC-SLP, caregiver for her husband, Frank Mackall, former police officer who suffered a brain injury in the line of duty; speech pathologist; author of 27 Miles: The Tank’s Journey Home and upcoming book Dying to Live Your Life

[Linda Blakemore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartfelt,Heartbreaking, and Hopeful describe this well-written fast-reading narrative that journals one couples journey through the sudden and tragic onset of Deep Brain Injury, through the labyrinth of surgeries, therapies, and setbacks while hanging on with undying faith, and the power of unconditional love and determination! I was right there, along with them for their heartfelt journey. It was a fast read (took me only 2 days), but it was anything but an easy read. Still, it is a must read!