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The Art of Not Falling Apart: New Statesman Books of the Year 2018
New Statesman's Best Books of the Year, 2018Mail on Sunday, Books of the Year, 2018We plan, as the old proverb says, and God laughs. But most of us don't find it all that funny when things go wrong. Most of us want love, a nice home, good work, and happy children. Many of us grew up with parents who made these things look relatively easy and assumed we would get them, too. So what do you do if you don't? What do you do when you feel you've messed it all up and your friends seem to be doing just fine?For Christina Patterson, it was her job as a journalist that kept her going through the ups and downs of life. And then she lost that, too. Dreaming of revenge and irritated by self-help books, she decided to do the kind of interviews she had never done before. The resulting conversations are surprising, touching and often funny. There's Ken, the first person to be publicly fired from a FTSE-100 board. There's Winston, who fell through a ceiling onto a purple coffin. There's Louise, whose baby was seriously ill, but who still worried about being fat. And through it all, there's Christina, eating far too many crisps as she tries to pick up the pieces of her life.The Art of Not Falling Apart is a joyous, moving and sometimes shockingly honest celebration of life as an adventure, one where you ditch your expectations, raise a glass and prepare for a rocky ride.
353 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2018
250 people are currently reading
1750 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 132 reviews
April 25, 2019
Disclaimer : I received this copy from Pansing in exchange for my honest review.
I have never liked reading autobiographies or memoirs. And this book reinstated my believe 😂
It started out great. The first few chapters were funny, quirky and witty. I felt connected with Christina. But past those chapters, she was just rambling on. Reminiscing about the good old days. What has been, what could be and what ifs.
The only thing that kept my attention were the books and authors she mentioned. An insight on the authors life we rarely know.
Apart from that, I do not see this book fulfilling the promise of its title. These were her own personal experiences (yes, it's her memoir indeed) but heck, it started out so good but somewhere, somehow, the writing got lost in the author's own fascination with her words.
To quote Stephen King from his book "On Writing" which goes "In many cases when a reader puts a story aside because it 'got boring,' the boredom arose because the writer grew enchanted with his powers of description and lost sight of his priority, which is to keep the ball rolling." unquote.
I have never liked reading autobiographies or memoirs. And this book reinstated my believe 😂
It started out great. The first few chapters were funny, quirky and witty. I felt connected with Christina. But past those chapters, she was just rambling on. Reminiscing about the good old days. What has been, what could be and what ifs.
The only thing that kept my attention were the books and authors she mentioned. An insight on the authors life we rarely know.
Apart from that, I do not see this book fulfilling the promise of its title. These were her own personal experiences (yes, it's her memoir indeed) but heck, it started out so good but somewhere, somehow, the writing got lost in the author's own fascination with her words.
To quote Stephen King from his book "On Writing" which goes "In many cases when a reader puts a story aside because it 'got boring,' the boredom arose because the writer grew enchanted with his powers of description and lost sight of his priority, which is to keep the ball rolling." unquote.
June 8, 2018
The Art of Not Falling Apart by Christina Patterson should be required reading for anyone tempted to do just that, to give up.
While I easily could have devoured this book in one sitting I chose to read it in chunks over the course of a few days to better make it last.
The author's style of writing is wonderful. I've found a lot of books proclaiming to be similar to TAoNFA tend toward the pompous but when reading this book I felt the author talking to me. In reading her words we became friends.
While not every passage was relevant to me, I enjoyed each and every one of them.
I can honestly see this book being picked up again and again, just to remind myself of the art of holding on, of not giving up.
While I easily could have devoured this book in one sitting I chose to read it in chunks over the course of a few days to better make it last.
The author's style of writing is wonderful. I've found a lot of books proclaiming to be similar to TAoNFA tend toward the pompous but when reading this book I felt the author talking to me. In reading her words we became friends.
While not every passage was relevant to me, I enjoyed each and every one of them.
I can honestly see this book being picked up again and again, just to remind myself of the art of holding on, of not giving up.
February 3, 2019
I choose this book, I will admit, purely based on the title.
I felt like falling apart when I did not get the job I prepared for over two months for (failing the interview score by one stupid point) and did not get the flat I wanted because it turned out not to be as splendid as I thought and could have been a potential waste of money. So the new life I was wrapping up for this new year came all crumbling down within the first month.
I was tired, I was hurt, I needed something to cheer me up, to help me see things from another perspective.
I wanted a self book that wasn't a self book.
So thank you Christina Patterson because your book did exactly what I needed.
Thank you for sharing your story and your friend's stories and for giving them a voice on how they managed to get through all the crap life decided to threw at them.
This book definitely put a smile on my face, made me teary eyed a couple of times and help me realised that what I do is enough.
I felt like falling apart when I did not get the job I prepared for over two months for (failing the interview score by one stupid point) and did not get the flat I wanted because it turned out not to be as splendid as I thought and could have been a potential waste of money. So the new life I was wrapping up for this new year came all crumbling down within the first month.
I was tired, I was hurt, I needed something to cheer me up, to help me see things from another perspective.
I wanted a self book that wasn't a self book.
So thank you Christina Patterson because your book did exactly what I needed.
Thank you for sharing your story and your friend's stories and for giving them a voice on how they managed to get through all the crap life decided to threw at them.
This book definitely put a smile on my face, made me teary eyed a couple of times and help me realised that what I do is enough.
"Almost every night of my life, I have gone to bed asking myself what I've achieved and concluding that it isn't enough. I'm beginning to learn that it is sometimes OK just to say: I had a nice day."
May 17, 2018
Freud referred to love and work as “the cornerstones of our humanness” and although Christina Patterson’s search for love was leaving something to be desired, at least she felt that her love of her job was keeping her going through life’s ups and downs. However, when the editor of The Independent, the paper she had worked for for ten years, informed her that he had decided to “freshen the pages up” and was making her redundant, she was suddenly faced with the loss of one of those cornerstones, one she had spent her whole working life building up. Fearful about what her future held, struggling with the profoundly undermining nature of rejection, she nevertheless found the inner resources to embark on this book. It is a story which intertwines the experiences of others with her own as she explores the nature of loss, disappointment and resilience, in their many varied forms, and examines the various ways in which people find it possible to move forward from personal crises.
This searingly honest and moving book comprises a series of conversations Christina had with people in her life who had faced hardship in one form or another. It soon becomes very clear that one of the reasons people were enabled to open up to her with such honesty was because of the perceptive empathy she demonstrated in her interactions with them. I was a subscriber to The Independent during the period when Christina was writing her columns and was always eager to read her thought-provoking, sensitive and, at their very heart deeply humane, reflections on a wide range of topics. When those columns ended so abruptly I felt a real sense of loss, as well as a belief that the paper had lost someone, and something, essentially important. However, whilst reading this book, I became aware that the author, however painful and upsetting her brutal dismissal, has lost none of her skills in getting to the heart of the matter in her writing. She manages to convey a belief that the troughs of life’s experiences can be climbed out of, however bleak it may feel when down in their depths – nevertheless, whilst you are in them it’s some comfort to discover that friends, food, crisps and wine can make the troughs feel infinitely more tolerable and survivable! She achieves this without any sense of dismissing the pain of difficult experiences but rather with the supportive message that it really is worth hanging on to hope.
What a roller-coaster of a ride this book took me and my emotions on: one moment I was laughing out loud at some of the hilarious situations described, then I’d find myself suddenly moved to tears by the poignant, heart-breaking nature of some of the life-stories which emerged. I also found myself feeling angry about the lack of humanity shown by so many organisations when it comes to making people redundant. “Streamlining” may well make sense in economic and efficiency terms, but all too often takes no account of the level of human misery, even despair, which can result – I think that if The Independent still existed in print form, having read this powerful and moving book, I would have been cancelling my subscription! However, I do believe that the author has demonstrated that she has emerged stronger than ever and that, to paraphrase part of her Frieda Hughes quote, she has absolutely “done her best with the tools she had to hand.” It was a joy to be reminded of just how perceptive, incisive and sensitive a writer Christina Patterson is, and how elegant and engaging her prose always is. This is not a “preachy self-help” book but it is one which will make anyone struggling with loss, stress, a sense of failure and lack of self-worth feel rather less isolated, able to start to believe that there can be a better future.
My thanks to Real Readers and Atlantic Books for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This searingly honest and moving book comprises a series of conversations Christina had with people in her life who had faced hardship in one form or another. It soon becomes very clear that one of the reasons people were enabled to open up to her with such honesty was because of the perceptive empathy she demonstrated in her interactions with them. I was a subscriber to The Independent during the period when Christina was writing her columns and was always eager to read her thought-provoking, sensitive and, at their very heart deeply humane, reflections on a wide range of topics. When those columns ended so abruptly I felt a real sense of loss, as well as a belief that the paper had lost someone, and something, essentially important. However, whilst reading this book, I became aware that the author, however painful and upsetting her brutal dismissal, has lost none of her skills in getting to the heart of the matter in her writing. She manages to convey a belief that the troughs of life’s experiences can be climbed out of, however bleak it may feel when down in their depths – nevertheless, whilst you are in them it’s some comfort to discover that friends, food, crisps and wine can make the troughs feel infinitely more tolerable and survivable! She achieves this without any sense of dismissing the pain of difficult experiences but rather with the supportive message that it really is worth hanging on to hope.
What a roller-coaster of a ride this book took me and my emotions on: one moment I was laughing out loud at some of the hilarious situations described, then I’d find myself suddenly moved to tears by the poignant, heart-breaking nature of some of the life-stories which emerged. I also found myself feeling angry about the lack of humanity shown by so many organisations when it comes to making people redundant. “Streamlining” may well make sense in economic and efficiency terms, but all too often takes no account of the level of human misery, even despair, which can result – I think that if The Independent still existed in print form, having read this powerful and moving book, I would have been cancelling my subscription! However, I do believe that the author has demonstrated that she has emerged stronger than ever and that, to paraphrase part of her Frieda Hughes quote, she has absolutely “done her best with the tools she had to hand.” It was a joy to be reminded of just how perceptive, incisive and sensitive a writer Christina Patterson is, and how elegant and engaging her prose always is. This is not a “preachy self-help” book but it is one which will make anyone struggling with loss, stress, a sense of failure and lack of self-worth feel rather less isolated, able to start to believe that there can be a better future.
My thanks to Real Readers and Atlantic Books for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 13, 2021
Such a wonderful book. It showed me examples of so many brave, resilient people who keep going in spite of so many bricks that life throws at them. It reminded me to count my blessings and gave me perspective. It reminded me to celebrate this sweet ride of life, to cherish simple things that give you joy, be it chocolate, a walk on a sunny day, a glass of wine, and things that you are passionate about, your hobbies. I am making the book sound corny, but it is far from that! It gave me an interesting perspective about pessimism and optimism, a belief of the Italian philosopher, Antonio Gramsci, in "pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will". That's one of the things I am going to remember when I think of this book.
I am giving it 4 stars because, in spite of the glowing paragraph I have written above, for a long time, I also kept checking how much percentage of the book I have finished. The stories are sad and wonderful at the same time, but also there were so many of them that by the time I was nearing the end of the book, I had forgotten most of the names of the people and even part of the stories and was a tad confused when the author was talking about the people she had mentioned in the previous chapters. There were also a few things I did not agree with. The author is great and she has put a lot of work in writing this book, so it makes me feel a little bad about "criticising" these two aspects, but well, it is what it is.
I am giving it 4 stars because, in spite of the glowing paragraph I have written above, for a long time, I also kept checking how much percentage of the book I have finished. The stories are sad and wonderful at the same time, but also there were so many of them that by the time I was nearing the end of the book, I had forgotten most of the names of the people and even part of the stories and was a tad confused when the author was talking about the people she had mentioned in the previous chapters. There were also a few things I did not agree with. The author is great and she has put a lot of work in writing this book, so it makes me feel a little bad about "criticising" these two aspects, but well, it is what it is.
July 13, 2019
CP writes about wonderful people and their ordinary/extraordinary life stories of hardship and pain and Human Nature, but the format doesn't work for me. Had to stop after the 43th occurrence of 'I was sitting in my beautiful, successful and resilient friend Dora or Maura or Nora's massive kitchen in her Islington/Stoke Newington/Highgate converted-church flat, eating crisps. "Poetry is hard", she told me.'
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 1, 2018
Wow. Just wow.
An utterly unflinching and powerful book.
Lol’d and wept.
Thank you, Christina Patterson.
An utterly unflinching and powerful book.
Lol’d and wept.
Thank you, Christina Patterson.
May 23, 2020
I wasn't sure about this book to start with. It starts basically with the writer being summarily sacked from her senior job on the Independent newspaper. I thought initially she would be 'Glenda Slag', smug, superior, entitled and bubble-living.
But, you know what, she, and this book, were the polar opposite. She spent very little time in the book wallowing in self pity, although she did acknowledge how miserable, frightened and alone she felt.
But then she spent a lot of time interviewing people who had experienced and were living with setbacks, trauma and life's bad luck. A lesser writer could have made this pious and sanctimonious, and full of banal platitudes. She didn't. She also didn't quite use my philosophy that 'people are amazing the way they rise to any challenge that is thrown at them'. But she demonstrates this by vignettes and snippets from the lives of others, handled sensitively.
She comes over as thoughtful, and states that she was brought up to believe that the most important thing is to consider other people. That doesn't make her a doormat: she's highly intelligent, very well read and knowledgeable, but does not feel any need to hammer this home, in the way that many (actually not so very intelligent eg Boris Johnson-type person) others do.
It isn't really a self-help book, and I don't think she set put deliberately to be uplifting, but I think it does that by shining the light on the ordinary lives of ordinary people, and I think the book is strengthening and supportive. Self help without New Age wanky woo.
But, you know what, she, and this book, were the polar opposite. She spent very little time in the book wallowing in self pity, although she did acknowledge how miserable, frightened and alone she felt.
But then she spent a lot of time interviewing people who had experienced and were living with setbacks, trauma and life's bad luck. A lesser writer could have made this pious and sanctimonious, and full of banal platitudes. She didn't. She also didn't quite use my philosophy that 'people are amazing the way they rise to any challenge that is thrown at them'. But she demonstrates this by vignettes and snippets from the lives of others, handled sensitively.
She comes over as thoughtful, and states that she was brought up to believe that the most important thing is to consider other people. That doesn't make her a doormat: she's highly intelligent, very well read and knowledgeable, but does not feel any need to hammer this home, in the way that many (actually not so very intelligent eg Boris Johnson-type person) others do.
It isn't really a self-help book, and I don't think she set put deliberately to be uplifting, but I think it does that by shining the light on the ordinary lives of ordinary people, and I think the book is strengthening and supportive. Self help without New Age wanky woo.
May 5, 2018
'I have never had a heart attack, but I think I now have some idea what it’s like. For days after I walked out of that office on Kensington High Street, I felt as if I had something crouching on my chest.' Christina Patterson's wonderful book starts its first chapter, entitled 'Kafka, eat your heart out' with the loss of her job.
Christina Patterson is one of my dearest friends - that's the disclaimer. It's not the reason I loved this book and read it in one sitting. She's an excellent writer and her book is gripping and searingly honest. It covers a couple of years in the life of Christina and it weaves in other people's stories with her own on dealing with disappointment - and yes, on one level it's about resilience in the face of loss but it's really about the human condition and how to live life. It's original and funny and poignant and clever. It's somehow more than the sum of its parts - the different stories and approaches. I feel enriched to have read it.
Later in the book Christina writes 'Books have taught me that you are never in a place that someone hasn't been in before.' This book did that for me.
Christina Patterson is one of my dearest friends - that's the disclaimer. It's not the reason I loved this book and read it in one sitting. She's an excellent writer and her book is gripping and searingly honest. It covers a couple of years in the life of Christina and it weaves in other people's stories with her own on dealing with disappointment - and yes, on one level it's about resilience in the face of loss but it's really about the human condition and how to live life. It's original and funny and poignant and clever. It's somehow more than the sum of its parts - the different stories and approaches. I feel enriched to have read it.
Later in the book Christina writes 'Books have taught me that you are never in a place that someone hasn't been in before.' This book did that for me.
February 15, 2019
Whilst the author is a clearly skilled writer, this felt to me very much like reading a series of columns from a newspaper on “bad things that myself and people I know have survived that I will write about vaguely”. I don’t think Patterson has adopted her style well enough to translate into an enjoyable book, there is no flow and the lack of linear structure makes it difficult to see her point at times. And don’t get me started on the crisps.
The best I could garner from it was that she reiterated the ideas in life that have kept her and most people going; good friends, working hard at your own happiness, and not giving up. She has intended to write a book to help people in hard times that is not in the style of a traditional self help book; a premise which I do admire.
Not the type of book I would normally read, and a story I couldn’t relate or identify to, because there was no story.
I’m sure it will be someone else’s cup of tea, but I can’t help feel if she wasn’t already a famous journalist and had gone through some seriously bad life events, no one would have noticed this book.
The best I could garner from it was that she reiterated the ideas in life that have kept her and most people going; good friends, working hard at your own happiness, and not giving up. She has intended to write a book to help people in hard times that is not in the style of a traditional self help book; a premise which I do admire.
Not the type of book I would normally read, and a story I couldn’t relate or identify to, because there was no story.
I’m sure it will be someone else’s cup of tea, but I can’t help feel if she wasn’t already a famous journalist and had gone through some seriously bad life events, no one would have noticed this book.
May 7, 2018
I approached this with high expectations and, whilst there are some wonderfully moving stories within, came away slightly disppaointed.
For me it was just a little too disjointed. A lot of the personal stories were referred to piecemeal in multiple chapters and that meant that, for me, they lost a little of their impact.
I would have preferred a start and end to each tale without lots of “more about that later” as that would have made it a more coherent read for me.
Make no mistake though, there are plenty of stories and examples of the kind of sh*t (challenges) that life can throw at people and some of the sheer resilience shown is pretty darned humbling.
Death, disease and depression are amongst many issues tackled yet the book is overwhelmingly positive and testament to the old adage of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
For me it was just a little too disjointed. A lot of the personal stories were referred to piecemeal in multiple chapters and that meant that, for me, they lost a little of their impact.
I would have preferred a start and end to each tale without lots of “more about that later” as that would have made it a more coherent read for me.
Make no mistake though, there are plenty of stories and examples of the kind of sh*t (challenges) that life can throw at people and some of the sheer resilience shown is pretty darned humbling.
Death, disease and depression are amongst many issues tackled yet the book is overwhelmingly positive and testament to the old adage of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
March 23, 2021
Hmm. This started off great and I was really invested in Christina's story in the opening chapters, but the rest of the book didn't live up to that. There is very little structure, and although it's personal and contains a lot of Christina's own thoughts, it was more her asking her small group of friends what bad things have happened to them and how they dealt with it. So it's personal, but not at the same time. And as her friendship is a very small demographic (artists and writers etc, who are definitely not complete failures...ironically considering one of the main themes is failure), it was really difficult for me to feel properly invested and interested in all these stories. I also had some problems with a few of Christina's opinions, especially surrounding chronic illness. In the end, not my cup of tea.
August 24, 2020
Ein Ebook, das meine Mutter mir geschenkt hat, um mal auszuprobieren wie es funktioniert ein Ebook zu verschenken (und weil es ihr gut gefallen hat, denke ich).
Ein Buch über Trauer, Kinderlosigkeit, Arbeitslosigkeit und Beziehungslosigkeit und wie man weiterlebt. Hunderte von Interviews und Gesprächen mit Leuten, denen so grässliche Dinge passiert sind, dass man sie kaum begreifen kann, und die sich wieder aufgerappelt haben und irgendwie weitermachen, alles eingebettet in eine Art Autobiographie von Christina Patterson.
Unglaublich traurig, aber auch gleichzeitig aufbauend, auf eine "Irgendwie geht es doch immer weiter" und "man erträgt viel mehr als man denkt"- Art und Weise.
Nicht schlecht, aber zu deprimierend für mehr als 3 Sterne.
Ein Buch über Trauer, Kinderlosigkeit, Arbeitslosigkeit und Beziehungslosigkeit und wie man weiterlebt. Hunderte von Interviews und Gesprächen mit Leuten, denen so grässliche Dinge passiert sind, dass man sie kaum begreifen kann, und die sich wieder aufgerappelt haben und irgendwie weitermachen, alles eingebettet in eine Art Autobiographie von Christina Patterson.
Unglaublich traurig, aber auch gleichzeitig aufbauend, auf eine "Irgendwie geht es doch immer weiter" und "man erträgt viel mehr als man denkt"- Art und Weise.
Nicht schlecht, aber zu deprimierend für mehr als 3 Sterne.
January 27, 2019
Started well. Went on too long
November 13, 2023
I want to write like Christina Patterson! Memoirs could be so self indulgent, but this definitely isn’t. It is gritty, honest and humorous. I loved it and how Christina has crafted her mid life experience into an entertaining and digestible story. Long live family, friendship, kettle crisps and wine!
June 11, 2019
How do people cope and keep going when life throws them a curve ball? Christina begins by talking about the pain of being made redundant from a job she loved - before going on to share her own story of "losing her religion" - both topics I personally identified with. Throughout the book she talks about chronic pain, illness, disability, divorce, singleness, abuse, serious accidents, death, infertility, poverty, and the million and one other things that bring us down - and how she, and the others she spoke to, managed to get through each day and even remain positive, warm people. We've all been through "stuff"; it's reassuring to know we are not alone, and to learn how others have not just survived, but thrived.
June 7, 2021
A vida mostrou-se bem diferente daquilo que Christine Patterson havia imaginado. Aos 47 anos estava solteira, sem filhos, com uma saúde débil e recebeu a notícia de que depois de 10 anos a trabalhar no jornal The Independent ia ser despedida. E, todavia, é desse conjunto de circunstâncias que sai este livro, maravilhoso e cheio de esperança. Não é um manual de auto-ajuda, nem um livro de pensamento positivo.
O que Christine Patterson faz nele é, ligando a sua história à de amigos e conhecidos, trazer para o espaço público temas incómodos na sociedade contemporânea, não obstante todos convivermos com eles. Mais ainda, uma grande parte do trabalho de maturação de cada ser humano desenha-se na forma como lidamos com a frustração de ver que a vida não corre como nós desejamos. Importa dizer que este não é um livro sobre pequenas contrariedades e finais cor-de-rosa. Aqui fala-se de doenças graves, designadamente na área da saúde mental e do cancro, despedimentos, traições inesperadas em casamentos, mortes e crianças deficientes. Fala-se em projectos de vida que não se cumprem: porque não encontramos a pessoa com quem deveríamos ser felizes para sempre, porque a encontramos e ela afinal não gosta assim tanto de nós, porque desejamos filhos e eles não nascem ou nascem deficientes ou com doenças graves. Ou nascem e depois percebemos que afinal …não queríamos assim tanto ser pais ou mães. Christine escreve sobre insucessos e expectativas frustradas, entrecruzando a sua história com a dos que vai entrevistando. É uma forma de escrita extraordinária que os autores anglo-saxónicos dominam de forma feliz. Jornalista durante muitos anos e leitora compulsiva não surpreende que estas páginas de Cristhine se leiam como uma boa história, onde a acção não tem falhas e as emoções estão cuidadosamente distribuídas. A autora não explora a sua dor, nem o sofrimento ou pouca sorte dos que entrevista. O livro é uma bem conseguida mistura de emoção e objectividade. Também não é um livro deprimente. Longe disso. Um dos mais extraordinários pontos do livro é o modo como põe o enfoque na coragem e na capacidade de luta que cada ser humano tem dentro de si. A capacidade de reagir à adversidade, de procurar resposta e de encontrar, apesar de tudo, pontos de luz e alegria. Vemos o modo como Christine reconstrói a sua vida profissional ao longo das páginas do livro e acompanhamos a luta dos seus amigos para tirarem o melhor partido daquilo que lhes calhou em sorte. A importância dos laços de afecto que se fazem presentes, os actos inesperados de bondade de estranhos de que já nos desabituámos, os pequenos prazeres cultivados (na gastronomia ou nos detalhes de decoração do espaço habitado), o ocasional desânimo e sentimento de injustiça existencial mesclada com alguma inveja, a Natureza e a Arte são parte do caminho que conduz cada um de nós para lá do trilho da desesperança. É pena que este livro não esteja traduzido em português. As palavras de Patterson são um hino à beleza e à substância da vida para lá das tantas adversidades que encerra para todos e cada um de nós. E à capacidade que todos temos de recomeçar uma e outra vez.
O que Christine Patterson faz nele é, ligando a sua história à de amigos e conhecidos, trazer para o espaço público temas incómodos na sociedade contemporânea, não obstante todos convivermos com eles. Mais ainda, uma grande parte do trabalho de maturação de cada ser humano desenha-se na forma como lidamos com a frustração de ver que a vida não corre como nós desejamos. Importa dizer que este não é um livro sobre pequenas contrariedades e finais cor-de-rosa. Aqui fala-se de doenças graves, designadamente na área da saúde mental e do cancro, despedimentos, traições inesperadas em casamentos, mortes e crianças deficientes. Fala-se em projectos de vida que não se cumprem: porque não encontramos a pessoa com quem deveríamos ser felizes para sempre, porque a encontramos e ela afinal não gosta assim tanto de nós, porque desejamos filhos e eles não nascem ou nascem deficientes ou com doenças graves. Ou nascem e depois percebemos que afinal …não queríamos assim tanto ser pais ou mães. Christine escreve sobre insucessos e expectativas frustradas, entrecruzando a sua história com a dos que vai entrevistando. É uma forma de escrita extraordinária que os autores anglo-saxónicos dominam de forma feliz. Jornalista durante muitos anos e leitora compulsiva não surpreende que estas páginas de Cristhine se leiam como uma boa história, onde a acção não tem falhas e as emoções estão cuidadosamente distribuídas. A autora não explora a sua dor, nem o sofrimento ou pouca sorte dos que entrevista. O livro é uma bem conseguida mistura de emoção e objectividade. Também não é um livro deprimente. Longe disso. Um dos mais extraordinários pontos do livro é o modo como põe o enfoque na coragem e na capacidade de luta que cada ser humano tem dentro de si. A capacidade de reagir à adversidade, de procurar resposta e de encontrar, apesar de tudo, pontos de luz e alegria. Vemos o modo como Christine reconstrói a sua vida profissional ao longo das páginas do livro e acompanhamos a luta dos seus amigos para tirarem o melhor partido daquilo que lhes calhou em sorte. A importância dos laços de afecto que se fazem presentes, os actos inesperados de bondade de estranhos de que já nos desabituámos, os pequenos prazeres cultivados (na gastronomia ou nos detalhes de decoração do espaço habitado), o ocasional desânimo e sentimento de injustiça existencial mesclada com alguma inveja, a Natureza e a Arte são parte do caminho que conduz cada um de nós para lá do trilho da desesperança. É pena que este livro não esteja traduzido em português. As palavras de Patterson são um hino à beleza e à substância da vida para lá das tantas adversidades que encerra para todos e cada um de nós. E à capacidade que todos temos de recomeçar uma e outra vez.
October 27, 2019
A fabulous, gently moving, calmly uplifting pantheon to life. I cried softly throughout. The author acknowledges that awful things are indeed awful, and offers no promises of quick fixes or complete solutions. Just a small nudge in the direction of understanding. Good things exist, amongst the wreckage, and our wreckage isn't that uncommon, or that extreme.
A very personal, warm memoir filled with vignettes of other's lives too, this book is startling in its sustained ability to make my eyes moist, without noticing, or always knowing why exactly. I loved it. I cried for the awful trials people face, and I cried for how they faced them, I cried when they somehow managed, and cried when they couldn't. I cried when others stepped in to help lift the burden, I cried at the good times that come through, too.
I will never see the word 'typist' again, without a lump in my throat, and I will always pause to notice and savour the small but precious glory of the first sip of the first coffee every single day. Thank you Christina Patterson for this special book.
A very personal, warm memoir filled with vignettes of other's lives too, this book is startling in its sustained ability to make my eyes moist, without noticing, or always knowing why exactly. I loved it. I cried for the awful trials people face, and I cried for how they faced them, I cried when they somehow managed, and cried when they couldn't. I cried when others stepped in to help lift the burden, I cried at the good times that come through, too.
I will never see the word 'typist' again, without a lump in my throat, and I will always pause to notice and savour the small but precious glory of the first sip of the first coffee every single day. Thank you Christina Patterson for this special book.
July 11, 2020
I have read lots of books and this is one book that kept me hooked until the end. There are a number of reasons why I could not put it down: first, I could relate to the emotions that surrounded each situation the author narrated; second, the way the author told her pieces was so engaging; and lastly, the tales are real and so honest. Patterson articulated truth about life, death, family, women, career and love in a very realistic way, and subtly gave advice on how not to fall apart in difficult moments. Needless to say, this book brought back memories of lovely London, a place with a special spot in my heart. 🥰
January 30, 2020
3.5 stars
I picked this up completely on a whim whilst browsing in the library. I don't agree with everything she says, but it is well written and an easy read if a bit depressing at times. It is not just about her losing her job and having to make her way in the world of freelance journalism. She deals with the subject of keeping it together when life throws you a curveball either from illness, bereavement or other more mundane sources. She gives examples from her own life, her friends and other folks she has interviewed over the years.
I picked this up completely on a whim whilst browsing in the library. I don't agree with everything she says, but it is well written and an easy read if a bit depressing at times. It is not just about her losing her job and having to make her way in the world of freelance journalism. She deals with the subject of keeping it together when life throws you a curveball either from illness, bereavement or other more mundane sources. She gives examples from her own life, her friends and other folks she has interviewed over the years.
February 9, 2022
A great book to plunge your feeling into. Wherever you’re feeling down or fine, it’s an amazing book. Personally, I found it really helpful. First of all, it helped me realise and respect more how strong of a woman my mother is. Since this book is through the eyes of a person who had cancer as well. This book is also a major help if you don’t have many people around you to talk with. All the different people that are mentioned are really diverse, so there must be someone with a similar situation as you, which helps you realise that you’re not the first person to go down this certain path. And as the title says, it really learns you “The Art Of Not Falling Apart”.
May 22, 2024
I can count on the fingers of one hand the books I've not been able to finish over the last ten years. I think it was the point she started complaining how hard her life had been made by her parents having a long and happy marriage (which, selfishly, was NO help AT ALL for her navigating the dating scene) that completely lost me. Being kind, that was maybe meant to be funny, but it and everything else I managed to read just came across as bitter.
April 23, 2024
"It's the same with travel. If you travel on your own, you usually end up meeting nice people and having interesting conversations. You do, of course, spend a fair bit of time not talking to anyone, but who wants to talk all the time? There's the whole of world literature to get through! There's the whole of history and the whole of world news! And we all need time to stop, and myse, and dream."
January 19, 2021
This was written really nicely, it was easy to follow. It had some valuable points but some of it was a bit boring.
"People don't talk all that much about quiet courage. They don't think that navigating the world on your own needs courage."
"People don't talk all that much about quiet courage. They don't think that navigating the world on your own needs courage."
June 25, 2023
Jezu ta książka jest o niczym
April 5, 2025
A nice book I might give to my mom as I’m not sure I’m the target demographic. I just really needed a book to read. It was interesting though the different experiences of all the people she spoke to. Sad and funny but a bit millennial/mumsy for me
February 3, 2019
I really enjoyed hearing about different people's obstacles and experiences. Quite uplifting and well worth a look. Nicely written.
January 25, 2021
"If you've got a reason to moan, moan, but make sure there is a reason to moan, you don't moan because you wanna."
Reading this book feels like listening to a friend's rants. It feels like listening to your friend swearing on their former employer and you get carried away to swear on their former employer as well before try to cheer your friend up and probably give them advice.
The author, indeed, wrote this book after she lost her job as a columnist. The first chapters of this book are basically her rage and resentment on her former boss because, let's be honest, she wasn't fired based on fair judgements.
So, yes, the first few chapters of this book are full of her rage, resentment, sentences dripping with sarcasm. They basically the type of narration that make you feel angry as well, narration that you wouldn't expect in a self-help book.
"We learnt that it wasn't up to anyone else to make sure we had a nice day."
Despite it began with pity-party after being fired from her job, the author does not only talk about post-firing life and her rage after being fired. She also talks about how she dealt with the deaths of her loved ones, being single for most of her life, struggling to manage her expense, etc. etc. She talks about the rage for failing to meet the standard of a responsible and successful adult.
Ouch.
The second part of this book literally filled with her wallowing of the romance in her life (or the lack thereof), her illnesses, and stuffs like that. When I read the second part, I was like, "Well ain't she completely contradicts the title", because the author really breaks down. However, as I approached the end of the second part, it all made sense.
Of course she must tell her story of breaking down and falling apart, or else how could she tell us what-should-be-done and what-should-not-be-done?
"Happiness has to be worked at. I believe it has to be earned. We can try and we can fail. We do not always succeed."
I do understand if people thought this book is not helping at all. That this book seems to undermine depression and people who are constantly trying to cope with it. That this book feels like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to introverts; it simply tries to change people into who they are not.
But even the authors have several times stated that she talks about misery, not depression. She understands that depression is not something that you can get rid off simply because you want to. She understands that depression is not a feeling, but an illness.
So she talks about misery in this book. She talks bout being sad, really really really really sad. So when she said that happiness had to be worked at, she meant to say that it has to be earned by stop wallowing and stop drowning yourself in misery. Stop resenting others for what they had done to you without trying to address the problem itself. This book did not ask you to forgive per se, but it asked you to stop resenting people, because as Carrie Fisher once said, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die . And I think, it is the poison that will eventually make you fall apart.
Reading this book feels like listening to a friend's rants. It feels like listening to your friend swearing on their former employer and you get carried away to swear on their former employer as well before try to cheer your friend up and probably give them advice.
The author, indeed, wrote this book after she lost her job as a columnist. The first chapters of this book are basically her rage and resentment on her former boss because, let's be honest, she wasn't fired based on fair judgements.
So, yes, the first few chapters of this book are full of her rage, resentment, sentences dripping with sarcasm. They basically the type of narration that make you feel angry as well, narration that you wouldn't expect in a self-help book.
"We learnt that it wasn't up to anyone else to make sure we had a nice day."
Despite it began with pity-party after being fired from her job, the author does not only talk about post-firing life and her rage after being fired. She also talks about how she dealt with the deaths of her loved ones, being single for most of her life, struggling to manage her expense, etc. etc. She talks about the rage for failing to meet the standard of a responsible and successful adult.
Ouch.
The second part of this book literally filled with her wallowing of the romance in her life (or the lack thereof), her illnesses, and stuffs like that. When I read the second part, I was like, "Well ain't she completely contradicts the title", because the author really breaks down. However, as I approached the end of the second part, it all made sense.
Of course she must tell her story of breaking down and falling apart, or else how could she tell us what-should-be-done and what-should-not-be-done?
"Happiness has to be worked at. I believe it has to be earned. We can try and we can fail. We do not always succeed."
I do understand if people thought this book is not helping at all. That this book seems to undermine depression and people who are constantly trying to cope with it. That this book feels like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to introverts; it simply tries to change people into who they are not.
But even the authors have several times stated that she talks about misery, not depression. She understands that depression is not something that you can get rid off simply because you want to. She understands that depression is not a feeling, but an illness.
So she talks about misery in this book. She talks bout being sad, really really really really sad. So when she said that happiness had to be worked at, she meant to say that it has to be earned by stop wallowing and stop drowning yourself in misery. Stop resenting others for what they had done to you without trying to address the problem itself. This book did not ask you to forgive per se, but it asked you to stop resenting people, because as Carrie Fisher once said, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die . And I think, it is the poison that will eventually make you fall apart.
April 11, 2021
The Art Of Not Falling Apart is best described as a book all about resilience and follows the author's journey from losing her dream job to struggling to find her feet in the competitive world of freelance journalism. It's a story that most millennials will know too fondly (though minus the dream job at the start...!) and whilst it's depressing in places, there is enough positivity and humour to keep the reader engaged throughout.
I do feel like I've read so many similar stories and life journeys though, that this book doesn't really have anything extra which helps it to stand out amongst the crowd. If you're younger and less cynical than I am, you may find this more thought-provoking on the life lessons front.
I do feel like I've read so many similar stories and life journeys though, that this book doesn't really have anything extra which helps it to stand out amongst the crowd. If you're younger and less cynical than I am, you may find this more thought-provoking on the life lessons front.
May 1, 2018
I found this to be an insightful read. It was both sobering and quite amusing at different times. I could relate to the authors enthusiasm for journalism, as its a line of work thats interested me personally, although with me having social anxiety I accept its not likely to be my calling but I felt I could imagine myself in the authors shoes somewhat.
The book covers themes which are quite relatable to a number of people I'd imagine - mainly failure and also stress (which seems especially prevalent in the journalism industry), plus more generally mental health and talk of how women who are childless are regarded in society, to name but a few. In that sense, it had a feel to me of being a book of its time.
I liked the informal writing style - it sounds a bit like a friend talking you through everything. Parts of it read a bit like a long conversation and I enjoyed picturing said conversations with some people, both some relatively well known people but also colleagues and acquaintances of the author. As I read on, I found it to be quite touching and poignant. I expected it to focus a bit more specifically on the journalism side of the authors life, which it isn't entirely focussed on but the more I learnt about her and heard of both her and her relatives issues and backgrounds, the more I warmed to them and felt intrigued to keep reading and see what we (as the reader) would find out next. I'd say its fairly thought provoking at times, although some people may be a bit put off by the fact that it perhaps doesn't have an entirely clear plot direction as such, or whatever the non-fiction version of plot direction is!. It flows quite well and I managed to read just short of half of the book within one days worth of reading on and off, so it shouldn't take you too long to work your way through it.
My only criticisms that I can think to note here would be that personally I would have liked a little more detail about the authors journalism career - its given in a sort of a drip drip fashion and also that perhaps a little more in the way of an obvious structure would have been nice, although there are specific chapter titles, which are a bit cryptic in terms of how their titled but once you've read them, they make sense. Also, on ocassion it did sound a little bit like the author was bragging, which was a bit off putting, although I feel it only fair to be clear that the author has clearly had a fair number of lows as well as a few semi-extravagant highs.
Overall, I couldn't say it wasn't an interesting read that I didn't enjoy. I found it a fairly engrossing read and I'd recommend it on that basis.
The book covers themes which are quite relatable to a number of people I'd imagine - mainly failure and also stress (which seems especially prevalent in the journalism industry), plus more generally mental health and talk of how women who are childless are regarded in society, to name but a few. In that sense, it had a feel to me of being a book of its time.
I liked the informal writing style - it sounds a bit like a friend talking you through everything. Parts of it read a bit like a long conversation and I enjoyed picturing said conversations with some people, both some relatively well known people but also colleagues and acquaintances of the author. As I read on, I found it to be quite touching and poignant. I expected it to focus a bit more specifically on the journalism side of the authors life, which it isn't entirely focussed on but the more I learnt about her and heard of both her and her relatives issues and backgrounds, the more I warmed to them and felt intrigued to keep reading and see what we (as the reader) would find out next. I'd say its fairly thought provoking at times, although some people may be a bit put off by the fact that it perhaps doesn't have an entirely clear plot direction as such, or whatever the non-fiction version of plot direction is!. It flows quite well and I managed to read just short of half of the book within one days worth of reading on and off, so it shouldn't take you too long to work your way through it.
My only criticisms that I can think to note here would be that personally I would have liked a little more detail about the authors journalism career - its given in a sort of a drip drip fashion and also that perhaps a little more in the way of an obvious structure would have been nice, although there are specific chapter titles, which are a bit cryptic in terms of how their titled but once you've read them, they make sense. Also, on ocassion it did sound a little bit like the author was bragging, which was a bit off putting, although I feel it only fair to be clear that the author has clearly had a fair number of lows as well as a few semi-extravagant highs.
Overall, I couldn't say it wasn't an interesting read that I didn't enjoy. I found it a fairly engrossing read and I'd recommend it on that basis.
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