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This Darkness Mine: A Twisted YA Thriller About an Absorbed Twin and the Fight for Identity
Mindy McGinnis, award-winning author of The Female of the Species and A Madness So Discreet , returns with a new dark and twisted psychological thriller—perfect for fans of Gone Girl and Fight Club . Sasha Stone knows her place—first-chair clarinet, top of her class, and at the side of her Oxford-wearing boyfriend. She’s worked her entire life to ensure her path to Oberlin Conservatory as a star musician is perfectly paved. But suddenly there’s a fork in the road in the shape of Isaac Harver. Her body shifts toward him when he walks by, and her skin misses his touch even though she’s never known it. Why does he act like he knows her so well—too well—when she doesn’t know him at all? Sasha discovers that her by-the-book life began by ending the chapter of the twin sister she absorbed in the womb. But that doesn’t explain the gaps of missing time in her practice schedule, or the memories she has of things she certainly never did with Isaac. Armed with the knowledge that her heart might not be hers alone, Sasha must decide what she’s willing to do—and who she’s willing to hurt—to take it back.
400 pages, Paperback
First published October 10, 2017
103 people are currently reading
9634 people want to read
About the author
Mindy McGinnis
29 books4,293 followersMindy McGinnis is an Edgar Award-winning novelist who writes across multiple genres, including post-apocalyptic, historical, thriller, contemporary, mystery, and fantasy.
While her settings may change, you can always count on Mindy’s books to deliver grit, truth, and an unflinching look at humanity and the world around us.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 914 reviews
March 27, 2021
"I had a sister. She was never born, and she never died."
If you’ve read the title and seen the cover you should know what’s coming. I’d recommend you do not read this review and just go in blindly, as did I. I don’t want to tell you anything that could spoil this experience for you. But if you still want to know about it, here you go:
This is just as dark and twisted as the title promises. Probably even darker and more twisted. Believe me, it’s crazy, it’s sick, it’s disgusting and shocking. It’s exactly what I wanted this book to be and I’m glad Mindy McGinnis went this far. YA literature can sometimes shed its protective skin, put its finger on the wound and really cause the ugly and hurtful things to come out. That’s what this book does.
It’s probably making love to Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan right this second, that’s how disturbing it is.
The writing alone is piercing and cruel. Impeccable and cold. Easy for me to fall in love with, but I’m not sure everyone will feel the same about this book. I; however, am deeply, deeply enchanted. I had high expectations for this book, for Mindy McGinnis, even though this is the first book of hers that I’ve read. She met all of these expectations. Again, her narrative is on a level that I can only dream of. It’s smart and sarcastic, it’s funny in a macabre way, it’s unexpected and beautiful. This woman can write, this much is obvious. I can’t wait to read more.
The characters are captivating. Most side characters are relatable, which they have to be because the main character is everything but. They have depth, they are flawed, they are funny and deserve our compassion. Well, most of them. Others are morbid and cold, most of all Sasha Stone, the main character. She is the picture perfect. But a cold one. She’s manipulative and she’ll cut you if you get too close. Severely. She’ll surprise you again and again with her wickedness, but you can never be sure if it’s the crazy speaking out of her or if it’s real. That’s what makes it genius.
This Darkness Mine made me feel so many things. Disgust and shock, for sure. But I also took pleasure from this weirdly alluring book. It’s definitely one of my favourite books this year.
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If you’ve read the title and seen the cover you should know what’s coming. I’d recommend you do not read this review and just go in blindly, as did I. I don’t want to tell you anything that could spoil this experience for you. But if you still want to know about it, here you go:
This is just as dark and twisted as the title promises. Probably even darker and more twisted. Believe me, it’s crazy, it’s sick, it’s disgusting and shocking. It’s exactly what I wanted this book to be and I’m glad Mindy McGinnis went this far. YA literature can sometimes shed its protective skin, put its finger on the wound and really cause the ugly and hurtful things to come out. That’s what this book does.
It’s probably making love to Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan right this second, that’s how disturbing it is.
The writing alone is piercing and cruel. Impeccable and cold. Easy for me to fall in love with, but I’m not sure everyone will feel the same about this book. I; however, am deeply, deeply enchanted. I had high expectations for this book, for Mindy McGinnis, even though this is the first book of hers that I’ve read. She met all of these expectations. Again, her narrative is on a level that I can only dream of. It’s smart and sarcastic, it’s funny in a macabre way, it’s unexpected and beautiful. This woman can write, this much is obvious. I can’t wait to read more.
The characters are captivating. Most side characters are relatable, which they have to be because the main character is everything but. They have depth, they are flawed, they are funny and deserve our compassion. Well, most of them. Others are morbid and cold, most of all Sasha Stone, the main character. She is the picture perfect. But a cold one. She’s manipulative and she’ll cut you if you get too close. Severely. She’ll surprise you again and again with her wickedness, but you can never be sure if it’s the crazy speaking out of her or if it’s real. That’s what makes it genius.
This Darkness Mine made me feel so many things. Disgust and shock, for sure. But I also took pleasure from this weirdly alluring book. It’s definitely one of my favourite books this year.
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September 10, 2017
I never, ever say that I hate a book because I love books so much and it feels so extreme but oh my goodness I hated this book. There were no redeeming qualities, it was weird as hell (and I'm usually all for weird). The writing and plot were so confusing??? Also I found it to be problematic which made me very uncomfortable. I'm really sad I didn't like this since I enjoyed The Female of the Species so much but this was just... ugh. If there's any bright side it's the fact that I read it so quickly.
June 23, 2019
I don't know if this is a book you can "review". I feel like I'll be spoiling you by saying a single thing. Besides, how can I describe this book? How can I even begin to describe some of the fucked up things that happened in this book?
I think there are two things you need to know about this book. First of all, it doesn't depend on the reveal. There isn't really one concrete reveal - rather, there are several that create a web of craziness.
The other thing you need to know is that this book is really messed up. There are points where I genuinely felt like my deepest fears were being unwound on a deep level, just to unsettle me. I don't know if there's just one element of this book that makes it so creepy and addicting, but what stood out to me was the writing. There's a crisp quality to the prose that fits Sasha's voice perfectly. I don't even know how to explain how this book fucked with my mind.
The blurb is telling you antihero, but I don't know if that's an accurate description of Sasha. Sasha is a terrible person. But she's a very well-written terrible person. She has this odd blend of sarcasm and genuine evil - I'd love her at one minute for her delicious inner monologue, then hate myself for ever enjoying such a terrible person as a character. It was really an experience.
I think what's interesting about this book is how it echoes all those old classics about Some Privileged Asshole Acting Out. You know that genre? The one about really rich privileged men being asshats that somehow reads like tragedy porn and escapism at the same exact time? This Darkness Mine is like a more self-aware version of that genre. And I kind of love it. I think Mindy McGinnis is one of the most self-aware authors I've ever read - this book knows it's unrealistic and makes up for it by being believable as fuck. We've all met people like Sasha, much as we'd like to pretend we haven't. I think that's what I'm going to take away from this book, in a way - the intense feeling of realism that somehow stayed around even when I tried to escape this book.
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I think there are two things you need to know about this book. First of all, it doesn't depend on the reveal. There isn't really one concrete reveal - rather, there are several that create a web of craziness.
The other thing you need to know is that this book is really messed up. There are points where I genuinely felt like my deepest fears were being unwound on a deep level, just to unsettle me. I don't know if there's just one element of this book that makes it so creepy and addicting, but what stood out to me was the writing. There's a crisp quality to the prose that fits Sasha's voice perfectly. I don't even know how to explain how this book fucked with my mind.
The blurb is telling you antihero, but I don't know if that's an accurate description of Sasha. Sasha is a terrible person. But she's a very well-written terrible person. She has this odd blend of sarcasm and genuine evil - I'd love her at one minute for her delicious inner monologue, then hate myself for ever enjoying such a terrible person as a character. It was really an experience.
I think what's interesting about this book is how it echoes all those old classics about Some Privileged Asshole Acting Out. You know that genre? The one about really rich privileged men being asshats that somehow reads like tragedy porn and escapism at the same exact time? This Darkness Mine is like a more self-aware version of that genre. And I kind of love it. I think Mindy McGinnis is one of the most self-aware authors I've ever read - this book knows it's unrealistic and makes up for it by being believable as fuck. We've all met people like Sasha, much as we'd like to pretend we haven't. I think that's what I'm going to take away from this book, in a way - the intense feeling of realism that somehow stayed around even when I tried to escape this book.
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March 25, 2017
This was one of the weirdest books I've ever read, but I highly enjoyed it. The writing was dark, sexy and scary. And it featured one of the most messed up main characters I've ever read. Mindy McGinnis never fails to surprise and shock me.
September 18, 2020
Imagine you find out that you were actually a twin but you absorbed your sibling before you were born. Now imagine that that twin is now trying to take over your mind and body....😵
Sounds a little over the top and it is. Mindy McGinnis is not a woman that's afraid to embrace the dark side.
I'm really not sure what more there is to say except that this was seriously fucked up and I sort of loved it. And that ending....Holy Shit!!! 😨
Recommended to all my fellow weirdo's out there....you know who you are. 😉 4 *be still my heart* stars!
Sounds a little over the top and it is. Mindy McGinnis is not a woman that's afraid to embrace the dark side.
I'm really not sure what more there is to say except that this was seriously fucked up and I sort of loved it. And that ending....Holy Shit!!! 😨
Recommended to all my fellow weirdo's out there....you know who you are. 😉 4 *be still my heart* stars!
February 1, 2018
It's a mess. I'm not going into too many details but it's like a retell of some 80s movie. Beware of spoilers in further review.
Q: I can’t wait to stop being myself. (c)
We have an evil twin? The twin supposedly consumed by our protagonist while in the womb? And is up to her teens digging out bones (WTF!?) of that unborn twin from her gums! I'm not going to go into all the biology details on how things work a bit differently in real life as opposed to this cannibal dream on steroids. There are chimaeras but they don't go on kidnapping/hitchhiking their own bodies/cherries/boyfriends from themselves. Or taking anyone's bones from anywhere. It's like, uh, not even cutesy. I felt an acute need to recommend the author to retake their biology 101.
And the parents? Totally unbelievable. Your daughter comes in and says her twin lives on, in her. And you? Righty:
Q: “You’re going to tear this house apart,” Dad yells at me... (c)
Q: “Honey, do you need anything? What’s wrong? Can I get you something to eat?” Mom’s hands are on my shoulders... (c) Like, another evil twin, maybe?
Q: There is a fight.
For once I’m not participating. (c)
And the girl is rather disconnectedish, because how else would one describe someone in ER having this discussion:
Q: “I can’t die—”
“You’re not going to,” Jones interrupts me.
“—listening to this music,” I finish. “It’s unbearable. (c)
And in the hospital, after a life-threatening event you interview your mental health expert:
Q: “Did you always want to be a social worker?” I ask....
“We really should be talking about you instead,”...
“What kind of a degree do you have? Where did you go to school? How long does it take to get certified in what you do?” (c)Yeah, right. Why our protagonist wasn't certified, I'm not sure. Maybe that psychologist should have paid attention in classes. Might have retained her job, at least.
And the Q: I give Shanna to Isaac, and she quivers in his hands, happy to be home. (c) part is pure crap.
Q:
I didn’t get the whole heart, to be honest. I didn’t even get a decent chunk, I guess. What I actually gave to Isaac was a handful of soft tissue and gristle, the cord from the LVAD and a few bone chips from my sternum. But it did the trick, scared him so badly that he didn’t notice that I put the knife in his other hand before I passed out. (c) Like, WTF?
I know, I'm being nasty here. It's just that I don't like stupidish books. Honestly, if we have to get an evil twin, there could have been a proper buildup done to introduce them. Not just Q: “She’s here and there are things that she wants.” (c)
Q:
There’s nothing better than letting your brain go dead. I use it so much, taxing it to the limit with facts, theories, definitions—whatever I need to regurgitate for the next test. Then I push everything I dedicated my mind to for the week out the back door to make room for the next batch, the next test, a red A+ bleeding onto the white of whatever paper I wrote last. (c) I really hate this description of both music and studying. There is a lot more to them than the author gives credit.
Q:
I can get a degree in psychology as well as a performance degree from their conservatory, something that Dad thinks is hilarious. He told me if my goal was to drive people crazy with my constant playing, I’d already accomplished it. (c)
Q:
Dad tried to steer me toward an economics major, telling me that music might be my passion but I needed to think rationally about employment. He said taxes only sound boring and can provide a reliable income. I sat through an hour lecture about how there’s a sense of calm to be found in columns of integers, and that numbers never lie. So I found a copy of our cell phone bill and highlighted all the calls from his account to an unfamiliar number that always happened right around the time he got off work. I mailed it to his office with a Post-it attached that said, “You’re right, Dad! Numbers don’t lie. Love, Sasha.”
He left me alone after that. Like pretty much all the time. (c) Blackmailing your father into not steering you into a career you don't like? I have to remember it.
Q:
Heath and I aren’t like that, never have been. There’s a calm assurance in our relationship: he is my boyfriend; I am his girlfriend. ... We make out because we’re supposed to. That’s what couples do.
The clinical nature of our relationship doesn’t bother me, the hard and fast definitions of what we are to each other reading more like a contractual agreement than anything bordering on affection. We’re cutouts on top of a wedding cake, fingers interlaced but bodies permanently frozen far apart from each other, our smiles painted on. And who cares, really? Wedding cakes are supposed to have toppers. Girls like me are supposed to have boyfriends. Checkmark. (c) Wow. It's probably the most boring teen affair I've ever read or seen. Ever.
Q:
I know how that will play out. Mom will cry; Dad will yell; I will stand like a pillar in a storm, demanding truth. (c) A talking pillar. A demanding truth one.
Q:
“Oh my God,” I say, the truth hitting me like a surprise stinger after you thought the song was over.
We’re not facing each other in the ultrasound.
Because even then we each wanted different things. (c) L. Logic.
Q:
I must have scared Heath off last week. He hasn’t come over since he bolted at the sight of my bra, but I’m happier with Vivaldi’s company anyway... (c) Good to know.
Q:
“Because I just told you the biggest secret of my life,” I say. “Maybe the only one I’ve ever had.”
“Right, the one about how your evil twin is making you wet for the bad boy.” (c)?
Q:
Here too lies an explanation for why my perfect boyfriend with symmetrical hair and a wardrobe of nonaggressive colors does nothing for me. He wouldn’t. How could he stir the love of this passionate girl, whose emotions are dark slashes on paper? There’s a delicious thrill in seeing her words, the pent-up violence that I incapacitated long ago with a simple swing of my foot. My twin in the flesh would be intimidating; I can see that. But it says something that I undid her, in the beginning. (c)So, the question begs why does she have the boyfriend who does nothing for her?
Q:
I slip the phone back under the pillow out of habit, not for secrecy. Mom and Dad were pissed to discover it... But I got to keep it, because as Dad said, “What more can she do?”
Oh, I can do lots more, Dad. Lots and lots more. (c) Are we to expect a repeat performance?
Q: I can’t wait to stop being myself. (c)
We have an evil twin? The twin supposedly consumed by our protagonist while in the womb? And is up to her teens digging out bones (WTF!?) of that unborn twin from her gums! I'm not going to go into all the biology details on how things work a bit differently in real life as opposed to this cannibal dream on steroids. There are chimaeras but they don't go on kidnapping/hitchhiking their own bodies/cherries/boyfriends from themselves. Or taking anyone's bones from anywhere. It's like, uh, not even cutesy. I felt an acute need to recommend the author to retake their biology 101.
And the parents? Totally unbelievable. Your daughter comes in and says her twin lives on, in her. And you? Righty:
Q: “You’re going to tear this house apart,” Dad yells at me... (c)
Q: “Honey, do you need anything? What’s wrong? Can I get you something to eat?” Mom’s hands are on my shoulders... (c) Like, another evil twin, maybe?
Q: There is a fight.
For once I’m not participating. (c)
And the girl is rather disconnectedish, because how else would one describe someone in ER having this discussion:
Q: “I can’t die—”
“You’re not going to,” Jones interrupts me.
“—listening to this music,” I finish. “It’s unbearable. (c)
And in the hospital, after a life-threatening event you interview your mental health expert:
Q: “Did you always want to be a social worker?” I ask....
“We really should be talking about you instead,”...
“What kind of a degree do you have? Where did you go to school? How long does it take to get certified in what you do?” (c)Yeah, right. Why our protagonist wasn't certified, I'm not sure. Maybe that psychologist should have paid attention in classes. Might have retained her job, at least.
And the Q: I give Shanna to Isaac, and she quivers in his hands, happy to be home. (c) part is pure crap.
Q:
I didn’t get the whole heart, to be honest. I didn’t even get a decent chunk, I guess. What I actually gave to Isaac was a handful of soft tissue and gristle, the cord from the LVAD and a few bone chips from my sternum. But it did the trick, scared him so badly that he didn’t notice that I put the knife in his other hand before I passed out. (c) Like, WTF?
I know, I'm being nasty here. It's just that I don't like stupidish books. Honestly, if we have to get an evil twin, there could have been a proper buildup done to introduce them. Not just Q: “She’s here and there are things that she wants.” (c)
Q:
There’s nothing better than letting your brain go dead. I use it so much, taxing it to the limit with facts, theories, definitions—whatever I need to regurgitate for the next test. Then I push everything I dedicated my mind to for the week out the back door to make room for the next batch, the next test, a red A+ bleeding onto the white of whatever paper I wrote last. (c) I really hate this description of both music and studying. There is a lot more to them than the author gives credit.
Q:
I can get a degree in psychology as well as a performance degree from their conservatory, something that Dad thinks is hilarious. He told me if my goal was to drive people crazy with my constant playing, I’d already accomplished it. (c)
Q:
Dad tried to steer me toward an economics major, telling me that music might be my passion but I needed to think rationally about employment. He said taxes only sound boring and can provide a reliable income. I sat through an hour lecture about how there’s a sense of calm to be found in columns of integers, and that numbers never lie. So I found a copy of our cell phone bill and highlighted all the calls from his account to an unfamiliar number that always happened right around the time he got off work. I mailed it to his office with a Post-it attached that said, “You’re right, Dad! Numbers don’t lie. Love, Sasha.”
He left me alone after that. Like pretty much all the time. (c) Blackmailing your father into not steering you into a career you don't like? I have to remember it.
Q:
Heath and I aren’t like that, never have been. There’s a calm assurance in our relationship: he is my boyfriend; I am his girlfriend. ... We make out because we’re supposed to. That’s what couples do.
The clinical nature of our relationship doesn’t bother me, the hard and fast definitions of what we are to each other reading more like a contractual agreement than anything bordering on affection. We’re cutouts on top of a wedding cake, fingers interlaced but bodies permanently frozen far apart from each other, our smiles painted on. And who cares, really? Wedding cakes are supposed to have toppers. Girls like me are supposed to have boyfriends. Checkmark. (c) Wow. It's probably the most boring teen affair I've ever read or seen. Ever.
Q:
I know how that will play out. Mom will cry; Dad will yell; I will stand like a pillar in a storm, demanding truth. (c) A talking pillar. A demanding truth one.
Q:
“Oh my God,” I say, the truth hitting me like a surprise stinger after you thought the song was over.
We’re not facing each other in the ultrasound.
Because even then we each wanted different things. (c) L. Logic.
Q:
I must have scared Heath off last week. He hasn’t come over since he bolted at the sight of my bra, but I’m happier with Vivaldi’s company anyway... (c) Good to know.
Q:
“Because I just told you the biggest secret of my life,” I say. “Maybe the only one I’ve ever had.”
“Right, the one about how your evil twin is making you wet for the bad boy.” (c)?
Q:
Here too lies an explanation for why my perfect boyfriend with symmetrical hair and a wardrobe of nonaggressive colors does nothing for me. He wouldn’t. How could he stir the love of this passionate girl, whose emotions are dark slashes on paper? There’s a delicious thrill in seeing her words, the pent-up violence that I incapacitated long ago with a simple swing of my foot. My twin in the flesh would be intimidating; I can see that. But it says something that I undid her, in the beginning. (c)So, the question begs why does she have the boyfriend who does nothing for her?
Q:
I slip the phone back under the pillow out of habit, not for secrecy. Mom and Dad were pissed to discover it... But I got to keep it, because as Dad said, “What more can she do?”
Oh, I can do lots more, Dad. Lots and lots more. (c) Are we to expect a repeat performance?
December 8, 2017
This was really not for me and not what I expected, but it was readable and I understand the appeal this type of story has for some readers.
Reasons you may like this:
-If you love unlikable characters. The main character is suuuuper judgmental. She has a horrible mindset about sex, there is some girl hate portrayed, she's just a crappy character. I had no problem understanding that this was a character flaw though, and did not feel like the book was shining any of this in a good light. I felt the whole point of the book is how this model of "perfection" isn't perfect.
-If you love strange, dark fiction that leaves you with as many questions as answers.
-If you like thrillers that revolve around the question 'is this real or in her head?'
Reasons you may not like this:
-If you hate unlikable main characters.
-In fact, most of the characters are awful. There are microaggressions toward race, disability, and mental illness portrayed. Again, I felt that these were called out, but they are present. I really have no idea if any of the representation is accurate or problematic overall.
-If you are triggered by graphic descriptions of injuries (some self injury), medical procedures, or hospitalization.
-If you cannot easily suspend disbelief while reading. This book deals with a real thing in a very fictional way, which is made clear at one point, but if you can't get around this you probably won't like it.
-If you need concrete answers.
My thoughts:
So, y'all know I'm a Mindy fangirl, and I continue to be so. No, this is not my favorite book, but what I liked about it most was seeing more of her writing range. The style and characters are distinct from her previous books (it's less of a social commentary). I also liked how the book thoroughly explored its premise. It treats it as though it could be as the character sees it, as a medical condition, a psychological condition, or even none of the above. I did enjoy the ending, it packed that extra punch I needed for this genre.
However, because of the timing of when I read this, I was easily triggered by the medical and injury aspects and it was a very difficult read for me. I also would have preferred more development of side characters, especially the love interest. And though I don't automatically dislike unlikable characters, in this instance Sasha was just too unlikable for me most of the time. It was very hard for me to care about or be interested what was happening to her.
This really reminded me of Another Little Piece in some ways, so if you've read that book, your feelings on it may be a good gauge of how you'd enjoy this one.
Also of note, since all of Mindy's previous books deal with rape or sexual assault, it's worth noting that this one does not. That may make it a more approachable read for some (if you aren't triggered by the above things), or less so if that's what you love about her writing.
Reasons you may like this:
-If you love unlikable characters. The main character is suuuuper judgmental. She has a horrible mindset about sex, there is some girl hate portrayed, she's just a crappy character. I had no problem understanding that this was a character flaw though, and did not feel like the book was shining any of this in a good light. I felt the whole point of the book is how this model of "perfection" isn't perfect.
-If you love strange, dark fiction that leaves you with as many questions as answers.
-If you like thrillers that revolve around the question 'is this real or in her head?'
Reasons you may not like this:
-If you hate unlikable main characters.
-In fact, most of the characters are awful. There are microaggressions toward race, disability, and mental illness portrayed. Again, I felt that these were called out, but they are present. I really have no idea if any of the representation is accurate or problematic overall.
-If you are triggered by graphic descriptions of injuries (some self injury), medical procedures, or hospitalization.
-If you cannot easily suspend disbelief while reading. This book deals with a real thing in a very fictional way, which is made clear at one point, but if you can't get around this you probably won't like it.
-If you need concrete answers.
My thoughts:
So, y'all know I'm a Mindy fangirl, and I continue to be so. No, this is not my favorite book, but what I liked about it most was seeing more of her writing range. The style and characters are distinct from her previous books (it's less of a social commentary). I also liked how the book thoroughly explored its premise. It treats it as though it could be as the character sees it, as a medical condition, a psychological condition, or even none of the above. I did enjoy the ending, it packed that extra punch I needed for this genre.
However, because of the timing of when I read this, I was easily triggered by the medical and injury aspects and it was a very difficult read for me. I also would have preferred more development of side characters, especially the love interest. And though I don't automatically dislike unlikable characters, in this instance Sasha was just too unlikable for me most of the time. It was very hard for me to care about or be interested what was happening to her.
This really reminded me of Another Little Piece in some ways, so if you've read that book, your feelings on it may be a good gauge of how you'd enjoy this one.
Also of note, since all of Mindy's previous books deal with rape or sexual assault, it's worth noting that this one does not. That may make it a more approachable read for some (if you aren't triggered by the above things), or less so if that's what you love about her writing.
November 18, 2019
I truly have no idea how to verbalize my feelings about this. Like. Wtf did I just read
April 24, 2018
This book made my heart ache - and if you've read it, then you know exactly what i mean by that.
rtc, as in, I hope I can manage to gather my thoughts on all that.
My first ever Mindy McGinnis! I'm ready, I don't know what to expect,I blame Kai for this.
rtc, as in, I hope I can manage to gather my thoughts on all that.
My first ever Mindy McGinnis! I'm ready, I don't know what to expect,
August 18, 2017
Holy fuck. I'm not even sure what the fuck I read but I know I loved it. More coherent review to come.
October 5, 2017
(I received an advance copy of this book for free. Thanks to HarperCollins and Edelweiss.)
This was an interesting contemporary story, about a girl who believed that her heart belonged to her dead twin sister.
Sasha was one hell of a character, and it was so hard to know whether to believe her or not! She was so dead set that her heart wasn’t hers, and that her dead twin sister was controlling her by it, and it was difficult to know whether her beliefs were real or delusion.
The storyline in this started off being about Sasha and her dead twin sister Shanna (who died in the womb), and how Sasha felt that Shanna was controlling her, and even leaving her messages. Shanna apparently loved this boy called Isaac, who was a bit of a bad boy, and kept taking control of Sasha’s body in order to sneak out and see him.
The second part of the story was about
The brilliant thing about this book was how it was so hard to know whether to believe Sasha or not, and the times when she embraced being Shanna and acted out. It was still a little weird though.
The ending to this was quite interesting, and it did tie things up to some extent.
7 out of 10
This was an interesting contemporary story, about a girl who believed that her heart belonged to her dead twin sister.
Sasha was one hell of a character, and it was so hard to know whether to believe her or not! She was so dead set that her heart wasn’t hers, and that her dead twin sister was controlling her by it, and it was difficult to know whether her beliefs were real or delusion.
The storyline in this started off being about Sasha and her dead twin sister Shanna (who died in the womb), and how Sasha felt that Shanna was controlling her, and even leaving her messages. Shanna apparently loved this boy called Isaac, who was a bit of a bad boy, and kept taking control of Sasha’s body in order to sneak out and see him.
The second part of the story was about
The brilliant thing about this book was how it was so hard to know whether to believe Sasha or not, and the times when she embraced being Shanna and acted out. It was still a little weird though.
The ending to this was quite interesting, and it did tie things up to some extent.
7 out of 10
July 1, 2017
I received an eARC but all opinions/thoughts are my own.
BUDDY READING with someone who took three days to reply to me. You've been exposed Solomon
One word to describe this book?
Fucked.
I have never been both utterly disturbed and confused when reading a book. This Darkness Mine manages to successfully do this, however. I was stunned. Completely stunned into silence. I started to get really into this book while I was waiting at the train station to pick up Caitlin, and I'm pretty sure everyone in my surrounding area was confused while I whispered "what" to myself over and over.
The premise of this book was confusing but reading it was even more messed up. I couldn't grasp some aspects and since I did most of the reading of this at night I was afraid to fall asleep in case I had had a twin in the womb (lmao I checked, I didn't).
Sasha Stone is a good girl though. She plays the clarinet, is in the first chair, and is on her way to being accepted to a prestigious music school. She and her boyfriend fit and she gets good marks. She's the definition of a goody-goody who follows strict rules. Things start to get weird though when a boy who doesn't fit her definition of life starts acting as if they have a thing, and that she gave him her number. Something she knows she didn't do. It's here the book takes a turn I didn't expect. A turn that had me staring at my phone like what?! Shit gets weird. It gets wild and I could barely keep up with the story.
There were boring bits, which had me rolling my eyes and wanting a lot more crazy. Though the crazy would hit and I would be begging for the book to return to the normal because seriously. However, the writing style was brilliant. It was a tad jerky in some parts, scenes suddenly changing but that could be because it isn't the final version.
I have so many questions for the author. How did they create this idea? A book that still has me jumping in the dark and making sure there are no messages from random boys in my phone (there aren't, boys are lame).
I recommend you all check out this book when it releases - especially if you're looking for a weird book.
BUDDY READING with someone who took three days to reply to me. You've been exposed Solomon
One word to describe this book?
Fucked.
I have never been both utterly disturbed and confused when reading a book. This Darkness Mine manages to successfully do this, however. I was stunned. Completely stunned into silence. I started to get really into this book while I was waiting at the train station to pick up Caitlin, and I'm pretty sure everyone in my surrounding area was confused while I whispered "what" to myself over and over.
The premise of this book was confusing but reading it was even more messed up. I couldn't grasp some aspects and since I did most of the reading of this at night I was afraid to fall asleep in case I had had a twin in the womb (lmao I checked, I didn't).
Sasha Stone is a good girl though. She plays the clarinet, is in the first chair, and is on her way to being accepted to a prestigious music school. She and her boyfriend fit and she gets good marks. She's the definition of a goody-goody who follows strict rules. Things start to get weird though when a boy who doesn't fit her definition of life starts acting as if they have a thing, and that she gave him her number. Something she knows she didn't do. It's here the book takes a turn I didn't expect. A turn that had me staring at my phone like what?! Shit gets weird. It gets wild and I could barely keep up with the story.
There were boring bits, which had me rolling my eyes and wanting a lot more crazy. Though the crazy would hit and I would be begging for the book to return to the normal because seriously. However, the writing style was brilliant. It was a tad jerky in some parts, scenes suddenly changing but that could be because it isn't the final version.
I have so many questions for the author. How did they create this idea? A book that still has me jumping in the dark and making sure there are no messages from random boys in my phone (there aren't, boys are lame).
I recommend you all check out this book when it releases - especially if you're looking for a weird book.
maybe
September 10, 2017This sounds messed up.
I want it.
I want it.
August 14, 2017
About: This Darkness Mine is a young adult thriller written by Mindy McGinnis. It will be published on 10/10/17 by Katherine Tegen Books, an imprint of HarperCollins, 384 pages. The genres are young adult, mystery/thrillers, contemporary, and fiction.
My Experience: I started reading This Darkness Mine on 8/9/17 and stopped at 68% on 8/14/17. This book started out interesting. I like Sasha’s strict scheduling to achieving her goals of being valedictorian, first chair with her music, and to guarantee her entrance into music school. I like her friends Brooke and Lilly, especially Brooke and her uncensored interests. I like how music is being embedded everywhere in the story. Then the story move into hospital stays that I find lack of suspense and thrill for me to read. I do like the blunt reality of how patients wait to receive a heart transplant. The lack of sugarcoating is actually a breath of fresh air.
In this book, readers will follow first person point of view of Sasha Stone, a valedictorian with a plan. She stays on a path and focuses on doing everything good to obtain success. Sasha has a boyfriend, Heath since middle school and they have a routine. Out of the blue, bad boy with cigarette smells, Isaac Harver texts her and asks to meet up. When they hold hands, the process was smooth as if they had done it many times before. Her body walks to Isaac before her mind makes the decision to take a step back. Isaac is not on Sasha’s agenda, so how he becomes part of her life is a mystery. One day Sasha was to bring a baby picture for the senior school year book and found a picture of her ultrasound. In it, the ultrasound shows that she has a twin but the twin, Shanna, was never born or died. The twin was absorbed into Sasha while in the womb, so now it appears that her sister is inside of her and they both want different things. When Isaac comes to visit and Sasha doesn’t go to meet him, Sasha ends up falling out of the window 20ft high to stop Isaac from leaving. In the hospital, Sasha learns that Shanna may not exist but in fact she may have some kind of heart disease and require a transplant. Sasha still believe Shanna exists despite what the doctor says and the impending heart transplant… the ending is a mystery.
This book is well written and the lack of sugarcoating to what’s going on at the hospital is surprisingly funny. I like the bluntness in the characters’ way of expressing their thoughts. At the same time, I lose interest in reading this book because hospital stays and impending death due to health reasons just sags my excitement. I can’t handle reading about cancer patients so I can’t handle reading about patients with heart problems. I’m stopping at 68%. I still recommend this book to everyone because it’s good to be aware of the reality of a situation when doctors won’t tell you because they want you to have hope.
Pro: cover, personality, music, blunt, humor
Con: (I have been unintentionally reading a lot of mental health books lately and I need a break) Nothing against the book.. I didn’t realized this book deals with it.
I rate it 4 stars!
***Disclaimer: Many thanks to the author Mindy McGinnis, publisher Katherine Tegen Books, and Edelweiss for the opportunity to read and review. Please be assured that my opinions are honest.
xoxo,
Jasmine
My Experience: I started reading This Darkness Mine on 8/9/17 and stopped at 68% on 8/14/17. This book started out interesting. I like Sasha’s strict scheduling to achieving her goals of being valedictorian, first chair with her music, and to guarantee her entrance into music school. I like her friends Brooke and Lilly, especially Brooke and her uncensored interests. I like how music is being embedded everywhere in the story. Then the story move into hospital stays that I find lack of suspense and thrill for me to read. I do like the blunt reality of how patients wait to receive a heart transplant. The lack of sugarcoating is actually a breath of fresh air.
In this book, readers will follow first person point of view of Sasha Stone, a valedictorian with a plan. She stays on a path and focuses on doing everything good to obtain success. Sasha has a boyfriend, Heath since middle school and they have a routine. Out of the blue, bad boy with cigarette smells, Isaac Harver texts her and asks to meet up. When they hold hands, the process was smooth as if they had done it many times before. Her body walks to Isaac before her mind makes the decision to take a step back. Isaac is not on Sasha’s agenda, so how he becomes part of her life is a mystery. One day Sasha was to bring a baby picture for the senior school year book and found a picture of her ultrasound. In it, the ultrasound shows that she has a twin but the twin, Shanna, was never born or died. The twin was absorbed into Sasha while in the womb, so now it appears that her sister is inside of her and they both want different things. When Isaac comes to visit and Sasha doesn’t go to meet him, Sasha ends up falling out of the window 20ft high to stop Isaac from leaving. In the hospital, Sasha learns that Shanna may not exist but in fact she may have some kind of heart disease and require a transplant. Sasha still believe Shanna exists despite what the doctor says and the impending heart transplant… the ending is a mystery.
This book is well written and the lack of sugarcoating to what’s going on at the hospital is surprisingly funny. I like the bluntness in the characters’ way of expressing their thoughts. At the same time, I lose interest in reading this book because hospital stays and impending death due to health reasons just sags my excitement. I can’t handle reading about cancer patients so I can’t handle reading about patients with heart problems. I’m stopping at 68%. I still recommend this book to everyone because it’s good to be aware of the reality of a situation when doctors won’t tell you because they want you to have hope.
Pro: cover, personality, music, blunt, humor
Con: (I have been unintentionally reading a lot of mental health books lately and I need a break) Nothing against the book.. I didn’t realized this book deals with it.
I rate it 4 stars!
***Disclaimer: Many thanks to the author Mindy McGinnis, publisher Katherine Tegen Books, and Edelweiss for the opportunity to read and review. Please be assured that my opinions are honest.
xoxo,
Jasmine
October 24, 2017
McGinnis has become an author that I can count on to be blunt, bold, and to hold no punches. When the going gets tough her heroines are gritty and they know how to get down and dirty.
Her foray in the the YA genre of mystery thriller went off without a hitch. This book was riddled with mystery and intrigue and always left the reader wondering right from wrong and innocent from guilty. Numerous times throughout this story I started to question the heroine herself and had to stop and wonder who exactly the bad guys were and who were the good, if there were any at all.
This left me questioning, reeling, and like most of McGinnis's stories, always wanting more.
*ARC was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.*
Her foray in the the YA genre of mystery thriller went off without a hitch. This book was riddled with mystery and intrigue and always left the reader wondering right from wrong and innocent from guilty. Numerous times throughout this story I started to question the heroine herself and had to stop and wonder who exactly the bad guys were and who were the good, if there were any at all.
This left me questioning, reeling, and like most of McGinnis's stories, always wanting more.
*ARC was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.*
May 15, 2025
3.5 stars
This is a really hard book to rate. The writing is very good. The characters, although for the most part unlikeable, are nicely fleshed out and balance each other well in the story. The story itself is a real doozy though.
The summary isn't really a very accurate description of what the story is actually about. This is a dark and descriptive narrative of a teenager who is severely unstable, dangerously so, and her mental illness has apparently gone completely unnoticed up to now. There are some very disturbing scenes, and yes, I can see why some people would have difficulty reading this.
That said, it is an engrossing read, and Sasha Stone is a complicated and frightening character - a bit like Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction - interesting and normal looking from afar, but toxic and dangerous up close.
This is a really hard book to rate. The writing is very good. The characters, although for the most part unlikeable, are nicely fleshed out and balance each other well in the story. The story itself is a real doozy though.
The summary isn't really a very accurate description of what the story is actually about. This is a dark and descriptive narrative of a teenager who is severely unstable, dangerously so, and her mental illness has apparently gone completely unnoticed up to now. There are some very disturbing scenes, and yes, I can see why some people would have difficulty reading this.
That said, it is an engrossing read, and Sasha Stone is a complicated and frightening character - a bit like Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction - interesting and normal looking from afar, but toxic and dangerous up close.
April 1, 2018
UPDATED REVIEW:
"I'm digging splinters out of my gums again."
From its’ disconcerting opening line, This Darkness Mine quickly establishes an ominous tone. One that makes it vividly clear that this isn’t your average lighthearted thriller.
Centering on Sasha Stone, an intense, Type-A first chair, whose grades are “a long vowel-filled exhalation of superiority,” this psychological stunner presents one of 2017's most unlikable – and unreliable – narrators. Seriously, even her fictitious friends and family don’t seem to like her. In fact, the only person who appears to be #TeamSasha is the stereotypical, leather-jacket wearing badass, Isaac, and Sasha doesn’t even remember her interactions with him.
And it’s those forgotten interactions that lead to our very first twist. Where are those memories? Are they real? And if they’re not, why does her body react as if they were?
During her quest for answers Sasha discovers a confusing sonogram, which leads her to a chilling discovery:
"...I have -- or had a sister. A sister who wasn't born, and never died."
Confirmed by her parents, the truth of Sasha’s origin story finally comes to light. A light that’s quickly smothered by the dark. Because as soon as Sasha starts to believe it, her reabsorbed twin starts to assume power and fight back for the life that was taken from her. In their fight for control, Sasha’s unhinged sister makes some seriously deranged decisions (the stuff of nightmares, y’all), which soon shatters Sasha’s perfect life.
As new twists and repercussions from said actions emerge, we’re introduced to a new setting, new characters, and a fresh sense of manipulation. After a while we start to wonder who’s strings are really being pulled? Sasha’s? The twin’s? Or ours?
Overall...
This action-packed mystery is well-written and chock-full of bold choices. Filled with unlikable characters it provides an addictive ride till the very end. Much like it's cover art, I suspect this thriller’s fanbase will be slashed down the middle with lovers on one side and haters on another. And although it’s dark, I ultimately landed on the first side. Now, “how does that make you feel?”
Original Review:
"This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine." Wow. This twisted book is unlike anything I have ever read. Much like it's cover art, I suspect it's fanbase will be slashed down the middle with lovers on one side and haters on another. I personally fall on the first side. How does that make you feel? RTC.
"I'm digging splinters out of my gums again."
From its’ disconcerting opening line, This Darkness Mine quickly establishes an ominous tone. One that makes it vividly clear that this isn’t your average lighthearted thriller.
Centering on Sasha Stone, an intense, Type-A first chair, whose grades are “a long vowel-filled exhalation of superiority,” this psychological stunner presents one of 2017's most unlikable – and unreliable – narrators. Seriously, even her fictitious friends and family don’t seem to like her. In fact, the only person who appears to be #TeamSasha is the stereotypical, leather-jacket wearing badass, Isaac, and Sasha doesn’t even remember her interactions with him.
And it’s those forgotten interactions that lead to our very first twist. Where are those memories? Are they real? And if they’re not, why does her body react as if they were?
During her quest for answers Sasha discovers a confusing sonogram, which leads her to a chilling discovery:
"...I have -- or had a sister. A sister who wasn't born, and never died."
Confirmed by her parents, the truth of Sasha’s origin story finally comes to light. A light that’s quickly smothered by the dark. Because as soon as Sasha starts to believe it, her reabsorbed twin starts to assume power and fight back for the life that was taken from her. In their fight for control, Sasha’s unhinged sister makes some seriously deranged decisions (the stuff of nightmares, y’all), which soon shatters Sasha’s perfect life.
As new twists and repercussions from said actions emerge, we’re introduced to a new setting, new characters, and a fresh sense of manipulation. After a while we start to wonder who’s strings are really being pulled? Sasha’s? The twin’s? Or ours?
Overall...
This action-packed mystery is well-written and chock-full of bold choices. Filled with unlikable characters it provides an addictive ride till the very end. Much like it's cover art, I suspect this thriller’s fanbase will be slashed down the middle with lovers on one side and haters on another. And although it’s dark, I ultimately landed on the first side. Now, “how does that make you feel?”
Original Review:
"This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine." Wow. This twisted book is unlike anything I have ever read. Much like it's cover art, I suspect it's fanbase will be slashed down the middle with lovers on one side and haters on another. I personally fall on the first side. How does that make you feel? RTC.
August 20, 2019
I fully endorse Mindy McGinnis crushing my heart with another book of hers.
Blog | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr | Bloglovin’
Blog | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr | Bloglovin’
May 27, 2017
I'm going to have to step away and gather my thoughts before I write a proper review, because this book blew my mind and I'm still looking for the pieces.
In short, Mindy is yet to disappoint me. This is probably my favorite book of hers by far, and I love how thickly dark it was, even though it didn't seem like it was going to be at first, you know? It's such a twisted, complex story. I loved it!
In short, Mindy is yet to disappoint me. This is probably my favorite book of hers by far, and I love how thickly dark it was, even though it didn't seem like it was going to be at first, you know? It's such a twisted, complex story. I loved it!
August 10, 2021
HOLY SHIT, this was so freaking disturbing. And I liked it.
I didn’t know who to root for because everyone was disgusting in some way, especially Sasha. But I didn’t hate her point of view, I actually enjoyed it just because it was so different and brutally honest and mean.
Sasha’s transition from perfect girl to mean psychotic patient was so gradual that I still hadn’t understood how mean she could be till I reached the very end.
I would call this a real horror, as this was so well done it gave me the creeps multiple times. Unfortunately it was a bit too slow for my liking, that’s why I didn’t enjoy it to the fullest. But the rest omg.
This is not an easy book to read firstly because it’s really really weird, beginning with Sasha believing she has absorbed her twin in the womb, and ending with her trying to Damn.
I am amazed by every little detail here. I guess I won’t find a book this weird and messed up ever again.
This review was so hard to write and the rating was hard to put down in numbers. I think neither of them can do this weird book justice. Please Mindy, write more books like this one.
I didn’t know who to root for because everyone was disgusting in some way, especially Sasha. But I didn’t hate her point of view, I actually enjoyed it just because it was so different and brutally honest and mean.
Sasha’s transition from perfect girl to mean psychotic patient was so gradual that I still hadn’t understood how mean she could be till I reached the very end.
I would call this a real horror, as this was so well done it gave me the creeps multiple times. Unfortunately it was a bit too slow for my liking, that’s why I didn’t enjoy it to the fullest. But the rest omg.
This is not an easy book to read firstly because it’s really really weird, beginning with Sasha believing she has absorbed her twin in the womb, and ending with her trying to Damn.
I am amazed by every little detail here. I guess I won’t find a book this weird and messed up ever again.
This review was so hard to write and the rating was hard to put down in numbers. I think neither of them can do this weird book justice. Please Mindy, write more books like this one.
October 6, 2017
2.5 stars
Psychological thrillers with hints of unreliable narrators are my jam and the synopsis of this book was 100000000% everything I could have wanted...sadly I was disappointed.
Sasha is an interesting character. She’s hard working and ambitious and sort of a robot. However, she’s horrible and rude and I had a really hard time rooting for her. Of course I loved Isaac and thought he deserved way better than what happened to him. There are a few snarky characters who provide some levity, but this journey is seriously all about Sasha.
Plot wise, I legit had no idea wtf was going on and I loved it. Parts felt really jumbled and convoluted. My main complaint was that there wasn’t enough of an explanation at the ending. I simultaneously like that and hate it.
Overall it was a quick read and I was somewhat captivated by it, but there was just something that didn’t click with me.
**Huge thanks to Katherine Tegen Books for providing the arc free of charge**
Psychological thrillers with hints of unreliable narrators are my jam and the synopsis of this book was 100000000% everything I could have wanted...sadly I was disappointed.
Sasha is an interesting character. She’s hard working and ambitious and sort of a robot. However, she’s horrible and rude and I had a really hard time rooting for her. Of course I loved Isaac and thought he deserved way better than what happened to him. There are a few snarky characters who provide some levity, but this journey is seriously all about Sasha.
Plot wise, I legit had no idea wtf was going on and I loved it. Parts felt really jumbled and convoluted. My main complaint was that there wasn’t enough of an explanation at the ending. I simultaneously like that and hate it.
Overall it was a quick read and I was somewhat captivated by it, but there was just something that didn’t click with me.
**Huge thanks to Katherine Tegen Books for providing the arc free of charge**
July 26, 2019
1 star.
I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of this book. Actually, no. I do know what happened, but I'm left confused and quite frustrated. This Darkness Mine is a complete mess of a plot, characters, and writing. It's obvious that the story was trying to be like something out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie or something like Shutter Island where there's a surprise twist waiting around the corner. Only there isn't a twist.
This Darkness Mine is marketed as a psychological thriller and is compared to Gone Girl and Fight Club. All total bullshit. Yes, get ready for me to be mad and salty because I hated This Darkness Mine. As you can guess by my rating, this will not be a positive review. It will have mainly negative stuff I will be mentioning.
This Darkness Mine follows Sasha Stone who is a perfect - kind of bitchy - girl who follows everything to a T, is the first chair in her high school band and doesn't have time for silly inconsequential things. She later discovers that she used to have a twin who she absorbed in the womb (vanishing twin syndrome) and begins to have lapses in her memories, which Sasha believes is her sister taking over. She struggles to cope with the idea that her sister is making her do bad things she normally wouldn't do and wants control of her perfect life.
The book does belong under the psychological thriller genre because Sasha is starting to question her sanity to the point of not knowing what the hell is happening. But it does not feel like a psychological thriller. Half the time it read like a contemporary YA novel with only 10% of it being dedicated to Sasha's sanity. The plot was not that great in the long run. Nearly 400 pages of what was supposed to be build-up is just a jumble of this and that with little or no substance. The idea is there, but it does not present itself in a structured way. Because of that, the story did not read like a thriller. I found myself getting more and more disappointed with each page that offered little or nothing about the psychological thriller aspect of it.
Sasha as a character did not help at all with the story. I get that she was supposed to be an unlikable character and that's fine. Sometimes I do like the unlikeable characters because while they aren't the nicest of people if we get to understand why they're like that, their character would make sense. Sasha, on the other hand, was just plain unlikeable. She's mean, bitchy, and straight-up rude to her friends and parents. Everything and everyone has to abide by her standards and if they don't, they're useless to her. Wow.
When it came to the writing, it was sloppy and all over the place. When I said this was trying to be like an M. Night Shyamalan film, it does a poor job with the writing. Sasha's monologue was scattered in each paragraph where it talks about one thing but immediately goes into something different the next, sometimes going off-topic completely. I get why it's written like that, but it's so jumbled up that I had to go back and re-read lots of paragraphs to understand just what the hell Sasha was thinking.
Verdict
This Darkness Mine was a complete, utter mess of a psychological thriller. It shouldn't even be called a thriller. The only other books I've read by Mindy McGinnis were The Female of the Species and Heroine and so far, Female of the Species is her absolute best while Heroine and This Darkness Mine were absolute disappointments. This Darkness Mine is not a good book in my opinion.
Thanks for reading my review!
-Cesar
I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of this book. Actually, no. I do know what happened, but I'm left confused and quite frustrated. This Darkness Mine is a complete mess of a plot, characters, and writing. It's obvious that the story was trying to be like something out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie or something like Shutter Island where there's a surprise twist waiting around the corner. Only there isn't a twist.
This Darkness Mine is marketed as a psychological thriller and is compared to Gone Girl and Fight Club. All total bullshit. Yes, get ready for me to be mad and salty because I hated This Darkness Mine. As you can guess by my rating, this will not be a positive review. It will have mainly negative stuff I will be mentioning.
This Darkness Mine follows Sasha Stone who is a perfect - kind of bitchy - girl who follows everything to a T, is the first chair in her high school band and doesn't have time for silly inconsequential things. She later discovers that she used to have a twin who she absorbed in the womb (vanishing twin syndrome) and begins to have lapses in her memories, which Sasha believes is her sister taking over. She struggles to cope with the idea that her sister is making her do bad things she normally wouldn't do and wants control of her perfect life.
The book does belong under the psychological thriller genre because Sasha is starting to question her sanity to the point of not knowing what the hell is happening. But it does not feel like a psychological thriller. Half the time it read like a contemporary YA novel with only 10% of it being dedicated to Sasha's sanity. The plot was not that great in the long run. Nearly 400 pages of what was supposed to be build-up is just a jumble of this and that with little or no substance. The idea is there, but it does not present itself in a structured way. Because of that, the story did not read like a thriller. I found myself getting more and more disappointed with each page that offered little or nothing about the psychological thriller aspect of it.
Sasha as a character did not help at all with the story. I get that she was supposed to be an unlikable character and that's fine. Sometimes I do like the unlikeable characters because while they aren't the nicest of people if we get to understand why they're like that, their character would make sense. Sasha, on the other hand, was just plain unlikeable. She's mean, bitchy, and straight-up rude to her friends and parents. Everything and everyone has to abide by her standards and if they don't, they're useless to her. Wow.
When it came to the writing, it was sloppy and all over the place. When I said this was trying to be like an M. Night Shyamalan film, it does a poor job with the writing. Sasha's monologue was scattered in each paragraph where it talks about one thing but immediately goes into something different the next, sometimes going off-topic completely. I get why it's written like that, but it's so jumbled up that I had to go back and re-read lots of paragraphs to understand just what the hell Sasha was thinking.
Verdict
This Darkness Mine was a complete, utter mess of a psychological thriller. It shouldn't even be called a thriller. The only other books I've read by Mindy McGinnis were The Female of the Species and Heroine and so far, Female of the Species is her absolute best while Heroine and This Darkness Mine were absolute disappointments. This Darkness Mine is not a good book in my opinion.
Thanks for reading my review!
-Cesar
October 16, 2017
I honestly wish I knew what to say about this book. This is my third experience with McGinnis' work so I already knew she's unpredictable. That every book is so different from the other. While A MADNESS SO DISCREET didn't work for me, THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES did. THIS DARKNESS MINE, however, I just don't know.
"I was asking about getting abortions in bio. So of course this means I'm pregnant."
"Uh, except for the whole you're-a-virgin thing. When they showed us those pics of syphilis in sixth grade they might as well have signed you up for nun school."
This book is about a perfect girl, the good girl, with a hidden streak of rebelliousness that increases over time. She starts losing moments. And then realizes there's another person living inside her, who is taking ownership of some of her nights; the twin that she never knew existed because she.. absorbed her in the womb. Every piece but her heart.
All imperfections glare in the spotlight.
And there begins this descent into Sasha trying to coexist with a presence that lives in her heart, who leaves commentary on her life in text messages, scrawled words on exam papers, and in tangling with the local bad boy despite Sasha having a boyfriend.
But things get even stranger from there. To the point where it becomes a whole different book. And after you've adjusted to that.. it becomes something else again. It was just too much. Had McGinnis kept to one direction, or even two, this might have worked. Because it's weird and creepy and could've been perfect in it's own dark way. But.. yeah, too much.
"I can't die--"
"You're not going to."
"-- listening to this music. It's unbearable."
I'll probably still pick up future releases from this author because it seems every other one I read is a hit for me. And I love her writing. It's compelling, brutal, witty, and twisty. However THIS DARKNESS MINE was just too many of too much.. especially when you're forced to experience it all from a completely unabashedly unsympathetically selfish character.
I've heard girls adopt the cajoling tone to calm down their man, an upward lilt with a flirtatious accent that changes the subject. I say his name like a brick wall. One he can run into and break his damn face on.
It was a wild ride but not one I'll ever want to repeat.
1.75 "I've had battlements around my feelings for so long I don't know how to react to bare honesty" stars
** I received an ARC from Edelweiss and the publisher (thank you!) in exchange for an honest review. **
"I was asking about getting abortions in bio. So of course this means I'm pregnant."
"Uh, except for the whole you're-a-virgin thing. When they showed us those pics of syphilis in sixth grade they might as well have signed you up for nun school."
This book is about a perfect girl, the good girl, with a hidden streak of rebelliousness that increases over time. She starts losing moments. And then realizes there's another person living inside her, who is taking ownership of some of her nights; the twin that she never knew existed because she.. absorbed her in the womb. Every piece but her heart.
All imperfections glare in the spotlight.
And there begins this descent into Sasha trying to coexist with a presence that lives in her heart, who leaves commentary on her life in text messages, scrawled words on exam papers, and in tangling with the local bad boy despite Sasha having a boyfriend.
But things get even stranger from there. To the point where it becomes a whole different book. And after you've adjusted to that.. it becomes something else again. It was just too much. Had McGinnis kept to one direction, or even two, this might have worked. Because it's weird and creepy and could've been perfect in it's own dark way. But.. yeah, too much.
"I can't die--"
"You're not going to."
"-- listening to this music. It's unbearable."
I'll probably still pick up future releases from this author because it seems every other one I read is a hit for me. And I love her writing. It's compelling, brutal, witty, and twisty. However THIS DARKNESS MINE was just too many of too much.. especially when you're forced to experience it all from a completely unabashedly unsympathetically selfish character.
I've heard girls adopt the cajoling tone to calm down their man, an upward lilt with a flirtatious accent that changes the subject. I say his name like a brick wall. One he can run into and break his damn face on.
It was a wild ride but not one I'll ever want to repeat.
1.75 "I've had battlements around my feelings for so long I don't know how to react to bare honesty" stars
** I received an ARC from Edelweiss and the publisher (thank you!) in exchange for an honest review. **
setting-aside-for-now
October 10, 2017If you love books that are REALLY out-there, then you should definitely give this one a try.
I did, and This Darkness Mine was a bit too weird for me.
As the blurb indicates, Sasha is a high-achieving high school student who suddenly she finds she has done things she doesn't remember doing, is attracted to a boy she doesn't remember being attracted to, etc.
As the blurb also indicates, Sasha finds out that she had a twin in the womb, a twin who died early on in the pregnancy and whose body was absorbed by Sasha's. (Note: this is an Actual Thing: Google "Vanishing Twin Syndrome." The vanishing twin gets absorbed by the mother or the remaining twin.)
While I applaud this book for having a character with memory loss NOT caused by amnesia, and while I usually love twin stories, the idea of this absorbed/missing twin suddenly controlling Sasha and her love life was just a tad too woo-woo for me.
I can see on my Goodreads feed that a few people have loved this, so you do you. If this appeals to you, read it and tell me what you thought! Curious to know if this shakes out as mental illness book like this 2017 book with a kind of similar premise or as a thriller....
Read more of my reviews on JenRyland.com or check out my Bookstagram!
I received a free advance copy of this book from the publisher for possible review.
I did, and This Darkness Mine was a bit too weird for me.
As the blurb indicates, Sasha is a high-achieving high school student who suddenly she finds she has done things she doesn't remember doing, is attracted to a boy she doesn't remember being attracted to, etc.
As the blurb also indicates, Sasha finds out that she had a twin in the womb, a twin who died early on in the pregnancy and whose body was absorbed by Sasha's. (Note: this is an Actual Thing: Google "Vanishing Twin Syndrome." The vanishing twin gets absorbed by the mother or the remaining twin.)
While I applaud this book for having a character with memory loss NOT caused by amnesia, and while I usually love twin stories, the idea of this absorbed/missing twin suddenly controlling Sasha and her love life was just a tad too woo-woo for me.
I can see on my Goodreads feed that a few people have loved this, so you do you. If this appeals to you, read it and tell me what you thought! Curious to know if this shakes out as mental illness book like this 2017 book with a kind of similar premise or as a thriller....
Read more of my reviews on JenRyland.com or check out my Bookstagram!
I received a free advance copy of this book from the publisher for possible review.
October 21, 2017
“But I am not done yet, and I am determined, I am Sasha Stone. This is mind over matter and my mind is the strongest thing in me and I will not falter, will not hesitate …”
This book was weird and messed up and honestly, all the things I wanted. Not going to lie, what initially hooked me was the twin element. I will read any and all books that have to do with twins. But I thought the mystery and psychological elements incorporated into the story would give it a unique edge, and that it did. I honestly don’t think I can summarize what this book is about, even so, I think you should go into this book with as little information as possible. All you need to know is that This Darkness Mine is filled with mostly unlikeable characters and some intensely creepy scenes that come together for a truly unique reading experience.
Things I Liked
The creepy tone is established immediately, and it really sets the stage for what to expect from the characters.
Music is a big part of Sasha’s life and I like how it was incorporated. We see her categorize and equal different speech patterns with different music keys. It really worked for her character and showed how she distanced herself personally from others.
One thing I really loved was how Shanna’s messages were formatted.
Isaac was my favorite character, and I think he was the most likable one too. He was just a genuine sweetheart and deserves a peaceful and quiet life.
I actually liked the dysfunctional little friend group we get to see at around the halfway point. I thought all the personalities meshed well and created this endearing and messed up group.
Things I Didn’t Like
Most of the characters sucked (I liked that they were unlikeable, it just made it harder for me to connected to them) and I didn’t really connect with any of the relationships until around the halfway point. And ugh, the cheating. This book just took a little time for me to become invested.
I feel like some things were not established as well as they could have been, specifically relating to Sasha’s physical and mental health.
This Darkness Mine is a book filled with uneasy plots and complex characters that grip you from the first page. This was a very unique book and honestly, the perfect book for this time of year.
Trigger warning for body gore
December 17, 2017
HOLY SHIT, MINDY.
Bumping it down to 4-4.5 after the high wore off from last night. It was REALLY good and also REALLY fucked up and REALLY well-written and EXTREMELY revolting. I'm spoilering the big chunk of the review, just to be safe; it doesn't get specific, but I still feel like my generalities are spoilery enough.
Oh! We can talk about the other characters. I love Isaac. My poor sweet baby who didn't deserve any of this. Layla was cool. Brooke was fucked up. Lilly... idk. Heath is someone I never connected with because I remembered Heath being the bf's name in the House of Night books and he is my least favorite individual. Otherwise it made me want candy bc Heath.
Bumping it down to 4-4.5 after the high wore off from last night. It was REALLY good and also REALLY fucked up and REALLY well-written and EXTREMELY revolting. I'm spoilering the big chunk of the review, just to be safe; it doesn't get specific, but I still feel like my generalities are spoilery enough.
Oh! We can talk about the other characters. I love Isaac. My poor sweet baby who didn't deserve any of this. Layla was cool. Brooke was fucked up. Lilly... idk. Heath is someone I never connected with because I remembered Heath being the bf's name in the House of Night books and he is my least favorite individual. Otherwise it made me want candy bc Heath.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2021
So, like we SHOULDN'T sign our organ donor cards? (Too late! but the only thing I'd be passing on is my hopeless infatuation with carbs!)
Sasha Stone was a narcissist and quite likely mentally ill. Sasha didn't even have any luck with her heart, did she And that is why I'm rating this one a 3.5 out of 5: too many questions and plot directions, and not enough answers.
If you want to check out an edge of your seat examination of nature versus nurture, check out Megan Miranda's YA novel, SOULPRINT. That was a fabulous read!
Sasha Stone was a narcissist and quite likely mentally ill. Sasha didn't even have any luck with her heart, did she And that is why I'm rating this one a 3.5 out of 5: too many questions and plot directions, and not enough answers.
If you want to check out an edge of your seat examination of nature versus nurture, check out Megan Miranda's YA novel, SOULPRINT. That was a fabulous read!
October 15, 2017
4.5 stars!
A big thank you to Harper Collins for sending me a hardcover copy of this amazing book early for me to review!!!
I'm pretty shocked that this book has finally released and the average rating is getting lower and lower. I don't give out ratings this high often but I thought this book really earned it. While I have all of Mindy's books, I've only read The Female of the Species previous to this one. I really enjoyed it but I wasn't overly impressed with the writing or anything. The prose in this book are stunning though, and it has only made me even more excited to read her fantasy novels.
It's so difficult to review this book without spoilers. The best way I can describe This Darkness Mine: The eerie beauty of Nova Ren Suma's writing combined with the fucked-upness of Ellen Hopkins. I loved every minute of it. Yes, the book is weird, and Sasha was absolutely crazy. Being inside of her head was fascinating. Yes, she's unlikable, but I think that was the point. I adored the female side characters, what a funny bunch of bitches they were, but I didn't root for either guy. Heath was an outright asshole, but Isaac completely contradicted himself as a character. For that reason, I took half a star off of my rating.
I literally can't stop thinking about the ending. I knew it was coming. I knew what she was going to do. I read the whole chapter with my hand over my mouth to keep from saying no no no no no no no no out loud. And the best part:
For anyone who enjoyed The Walls Around Us, I highly highly highly recommend you check this book out.
A big thank you to Harper Collins for sending me a hardcover copy of this amazing book early for me to review!!!
I'm pretty shocked that this book has finally released and the average rating is getting lower and lower. I don't give out ratings this high often but I thought this book really earned it. While I have all of Mindy's books, I've only read The Female of the Species previous to this one. I really enjoyed it but I wasn't overly impressed with the writing or anything. The prose in this book are stunning though, and it has only made me even more excited to read her fantasy novels.
It's so difficult to review this book without spoilers. The best way I can describe This Darkness Mine: The eerie beauty of Nova Ren Suma's writing combined with the fucked-upness of Ellen Hopkins. I loved every minute of it. Yes, the book is weird, and Sasha was absolutely crazy. Being inside of her head was fascinating. Yes, she's unlikable, but I think that was the point. I adored the female side characters, what a funny bunch of bitches they were, but I didn't root for either guy. Heath was an outright asshole, but Isaac completely contradicted himself as a character. For that reason, I took half a star off of my rating.
I literally can't stop thinking about the ending. I knew it was coming. I knew what she was going to do. I read the whole chapter with my hand over my mouth to keep from saying no no no no no no no no out loud. And the best part:
For anyone who enjoyed The Walls Around Us, I highly highly highly recommend you check this book out.
Read
September 15, 2017You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
I... have no idea what to make of this book. This may be one of the hardest reviews I have written. I feel bad because I want to say more, and I feel like this review won't even be helpful, but I am going to do my best. Here are some things I can tell you about my experience with this book:
It's very dark, and quite twisted. The title doesn't lie, this is not going to give you a case of the chuckles.
I read this book in one day, which means I was unable to put it down. This is a rarity for me, so it says a lot about the author's ability to lure a reader in, for sure!
I was/am/always will be kind of confused? Like- I get most of the story, I do. But I am not wholly sure of everything, and I am kind of a more concrete thinker and I want someone to tell me, firmly, what the hell happened.
No seriously, this was messed up. In a mostly good way. I think.
Bottom Line: If you like books that don't shy away from the dark stuff, and that also may leave your mind reeling a bit, this is the book for you. Mindy's writing is on point as always, and the book is absolutely addictive. I'm just not sure I know what even happened.
*Copy provided for review
I... have no idea what to make of this book. This may be one of the hardest reviews I have written. I feel bad because I want to say more, and I feel like this review won't even be helpful, but I am going to do my best. Here are some things I can tell you about my experience with this book:
It's very dark, and quite twisted. The title doesn't lie, this is not going to give you a case of the chuckles.
I read this book in one day, which means I was unable to put it down. This is a rarity for me, so it says a lot about the author's ability to lure a reader in, for sure!
I was/am/always will be kind of confused? Like- I get most of the story, I do. But I am not wholly sure of everything, and I am kind of a more concrete thinker and I want someone to tell me, firmly, what the hell happened.
No seriously, this was messed up. In a mostly good way. I think.
Bottom Line: If you like books that don't shy away from the dark stuff, and that also may leave your mind reeling a bit, this is the book for you. Mindy's writing is on point as always, and the book is absolutely addictive. I'm just not sure I know what even happened.
*Copy provided for review
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