The Friend

It's Just Us Here #1

by Christopher X. Sullivan

An asexual man meets a male model... and slowly falls in love.

Mark, the model, has not been challenged in his life and is emotionally withdrawn. He returns to Chicago in the hopes of reconnecting with his college friends, but everyone has moved on without him, starting families and growing up.

Chris, the writer, is socially awkward and introverted. He actively tries to be as invisible as possible.

The two men meet one day in Chris' favorite park and strike up a friendship. Since this is written as a romance, you probably have a pretty good idea where the story goes from there.

You'd be wrong. (Well... and kinda right.)

I'm Chris and this is my story. It's not a traditional romance. This is my version of a Happily Ever After, which means Mark and I became great friends... and that's it.

Mark and I end this first installment of my self-portrait in a Queer Platonic Relationship. There was cuddling and emotional closeness, but nothing remotely sexual... at least not to my mind. Mark obviously wanted more and he would eventually get it, but this book, Book One of It's Just Us Here, would have been my perfect, ideal romance.

If you need banging and crazy monkey sex to keep your interest in a story, then jump in at Book Four of this self-portrait (The Lover). Otherwise, come along for the ride and meet the man who would sweep me off my feet, Mark Wolff, one of the top ten most self-absorbed men in the whole world.

[NOTE: This book is a 95,000 word romantic self-portrait featuring the beginnings of a queer relationship. It the first book of a trilogy, which is itself part of a larger trilogy. Low heat... for now. I don't think we need trigger warnings for this book, but future installments might warrant them. Maybe that can serve as enough of a warning? Warning: this book if full of life.]

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Asexual, Memoir, Contemporary, Nonfiction, LGBT

400 pages, ebook

First published January 8, 2019

About the author

Hello,

I write all kinds of books. This pen name will mostly be MM focused.

In 2018 I started publishing my self-portrait, It's Just Us Here. Then I took a little break. Then covid break.

Now I'm back! I'll be more active on my newsletter (through substack) or on Patreon (for super readers and pre-orders!) or eventually I hope to set up a website.

Best,
Chris

Reviews

[* A Reader Obsessed * · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Hearts!

I admit that the thought of starting this really long and really ambitious autobiography was intimidating. I had hesitated over The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here which is the skeleton of a planned 9 volume omnibus, but I didn’t just want the outline. If I was going to attempt this behemoth, I wanted every word, every detail, and not just a chapter here or a snippet there. Actual books were on the horizon, and I was going to wait and see.

So I waited… and I wasn’t disappointed.

To be honest, you might think this is a weird story - an odd, self indulgent endeavor and maybe it is, but it’s also so very quirky and funny and real.

Chris is kinda a loner. He’s regimented, particular, and very sure in how he lives his life, planning out every minute detail. All was smooth sailing until one day, that very safe and reliable routine is interrupted by a force of nature named Mark.

Now Mark is probably one of the biggest extroverts ever. He certainly bamboozles his way into Chris’s life and somehow slowly, they become nigh inseparable. Mark is the complete opposite of Chris and with the best intentions (sometimes with benign selfish intent), he irrevocably turns his and Chris’s life upside down.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the main caveat of this story which may matter to some and not at all to others. Chris is asexual, and how he interprets and interacts and responds to Mark is all colored by this. Inevitably and not surprisingly, this provides some pretty great entertainment when coupled with each of Chris and Mark’s own array of special personal neuroses.

This made me smile, this made me laugh, this made me emote. Who knew I'd find such entertainment in bickering over bed sheets, the merits of proper underwear, making bacon, and buying the suit of all suits?

For further disclosure, I don’t think it’s a secret that I like established couples, and though Chris and Mark aren’t established yet here, the fact that this is a true story just appealed all the more to me. I also have absolutely no problem with the day in and day out mundanity of coupled life. I don't always need drama and angst and these two have plenty of unintentional shenanigans that kept me on my toes!

So, that’s a long winded way of me saying that this first volume is all about how Chris and Mark meet, how their friendship starts, and how this ends with them on the cusp of realizing that possibly, probably, feelings might have developed and that love is just around the corner.

This is 400+ pages long and most who know me know I try to avoid anything over 200 pages if I can help it. All I’m saying is that despite the lack of romance, despite no smexy, what is promised ahead makes me look forward to the next 8 tomes!! If that doesn’t properly say how I felt about this, then I don’t know what will!

Thank you to the author for a copy in exchange for a honest review

[Xia and the Giant TBR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now LIVE on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MQ6G7DG

***********************************************************************

I’m going to get very serious with this review. I already said in The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here, that Chris’s life story is affecting me deeply like a mirror has been opened into my own soul, but I never said why. So I’m going to share something very personal to show you just how important this book is for asexuals. I will share this once and then never talk about it again.

I used to see my life like a piano symphony. Everyday I woke up to play my song over and over again, until the tune was flawless. Every hurdle, every fear, every limitation was a broken note in my symphony. I didn’t like my song to be out of tune, and just like a piano player rehearsed those broken passages to perfection, I too came back again and again to my fears, and hurdles, and limitations until I pulverized them.

But I never knew what to do about my sexuality. I never understood why I never looked at a man (or a woman, or any human being for that matter) and could never see them as a sexual partner. I never understood why I never felt the butterflies in my stomach when I was kissed, I never knew the goosebumps of a touch on my arm and I never was really, truly interested in sex. When friends in high school asked me ‘who do you like?’ I always shrugged. When I was asked 'Who is the hottest boy in school?' I shrugged.

Twelve years ago, I thought I was broken. I thought I had received a defective body at incarnation. My symphony was out of tune and I had no idea how to play the notes. Boy, I wish I had Chris’s book then. I wish I knew what an asexual was twelve years ago. I wish I knew there were others like me out there and that is okay not to feel any sexual desires towards….anyone.

I really thought I was broken. And I could not accept it. So I hid it and created a persona for myself which I showed to everyone, except my boyfriend who is also my best friend and was the only one that knew me for real. For everybody else, I was a great actor, and I played the role of Mark the social butterfly like a pro.

I considered my lack of sexuality a limitation. I never accepted my limitations or my fears. They were broken notes, and I rehearsed them until they played so right, smoke came out of the piano strings.
Just like Chris, I hate being complimented and being told I was attractive. So I started modelling to get used to it when I was 19.

Just like Chris, I hate being the center of attention. Guess who leads a global team in a corporation and has to give live presentations in front of hundreds of people?

Just like Chris, I hate clubs. As a manager I need to lead my team to those stupid corporate events and act like I have fun. The 'soul of the party' I have been called. One of my best acts ever.

I’m a very indoor person. I like to cuddle and vegetate on my couch, read and maybe write. I couldn’t accept that either, so I shipped my ass to Camino de Santiago and walked 400 miles to Santiago de Compostela to call myself more outdoorsy.

Just like Chris, I once thought I may be gay, if I didn’t have any interest in men, maybe I was interested in women? So I went to a lesbian club to test it out. Worst. Decision. Ever! I was 19 at that time. I was a former athlete. The sport I practiced required me lifting weights. I could push up to 90kg, so even if I was like 57 kg myself I could lift someone almost twice my weight. I have a problem with personal space. I have a problem with touching without my permission. I have a problem with people being sexually aggressive. So I went to the club. And to say that those ladies were aggressive in coming onto me it is mildly put. Chris was cute when he was saying that he blushed and transformed into a turtle and hid whenever someone was coming onto him. I transformed into fucking King Kong. This lady touched my leg in the club. I felt beyond uncomfortable. I frowned at her hand and asked her to take it away. She didn’t. I asked her again. She grabbed my thigh and squeezed. That poor, poor lady. She never knew what hit her. She flew over the couch on the other side like a torpedo. Guess who had her personal space the entire night. Ten meters of it.


Only recently I have realized how wrong I was playing the symphony. Because I was not accepting myself, I was not playing my own song, but the song society had built for me. Soon, the illness came. I strongly believe that every disease in your body is triggered by a negative emotion you kept locked away until it started to affect your body. When you don’t accept yourself and you don’t love yourself as a woman you get issues with your ovaries. Everything is well now, I am healthy, I have a completely different approach to life, and I have been in a relationship with my best friend for 11 years. But it has been a work of many, many years to get me where I am now and to get me to accept myself. Reading the Friend right now, in this period of my life feels like a final compensation from my oversoul that all is well with me and I have passed the trials of this game of acceptance.

But I still wish I had Chris’s book earlier. It would have been so helpful, it would have been a lesson on how to understand myself.

I believe Mark was a God given gift to Chris. Without Mark, Chris would never have been so happy as he is now. No matter the struggles between them, they were meant for each other, meeting at the right time, in the right period of their lives, so they could grow together and balance each other out, until they became one single soul, one single heart and one single breath.
I cried several times during this book because I could connect to both Mark and Chris and feel the love they have for each other. This book shows the beginning, when they were just friends. Seeing them slowly fall in love and not realizing it was completely beautiful.

God, I love this series. It’s different than anything I have ever read in my life. This will be one of those books I will read over and over again as the years will pass.
I am compelled by the goodreads rules to say that I am one of the beta readers of The Friend, together with Gabriella and Annob, so I did receive this for free from the author and my opinion is honest. If you didn’t get that yet. :)

[Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: the following review will be mostly about me and my reaction to this book, more than about the actual book. The rating is ALL about me and my reaction to this book. (That sounded a lot less self-absorbed in my head)
If you are looking for a rational assessment of this book, I wish you good luck in finding it, but you’re in the wrong place. You can scroll to the end for some links to good reviews, though.

Short version: this book gave me a book hangover WHILE I was reading it. Did that ever happened to you? I’m almost 100% sure it never happened to me before and, let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
I went places, did things, even interacted with other human beings, and this book was constantly on the background in my mind.

For everyone who feels brave enough, this is the long version. I mean it, it’s long. It might also be slightly spoilerish, but not much.

Before going forward, there’s something you should know about me. It’s something that many of the people I interact with on a regular basis on GR already know about, but I need to talk about it for a minute so you can put this ‘review’ (I use the term loosely) in perspective.

I identify as asexual. If you don’t know what that means, you can find out here.
I use the term asexual in general, to be precise I should say that I identify as somewhere on the ace spectrum. There are a couple of terms that come pretty close to what I think I am, but so far I haven’t settled on one. In part because I haven’t bothered to look too closely, mostly because I haven’t finished figuring myself out. I’ve pretty much given up on ever doing that, not only about my sexual orientation, I’m sure I’ll keep figuring myself out and being surprised by the things I discover about myself until the day I die.
And if that sounded a bit melodramatic, forgive me, but this book sliced me open and left me bleeding (how’s that for being melodramatic?). ;)

I won’t go into details about the time I found out asexuality was a thing and there were other people feeling things I had been feeling all my life. Suffice to say that it was a revelation and a relief, it was scary, upsetting and eye-opening, it was all-around intense. It was great.
And it was done. I mean, I processed it and I thought that was it, another piece of the puzzle falling into place, it felt good to know and I was okay with it.

When this series first came to my attention, it was last year. Annob, Gabi and Xia Xia were flooding my feed on GR with their updates for the Book of Beginnings, which is a collection of the beginning of each book in the series. To say that they were enthusiastic about it would be an understatement, they loved it and they weren’t shy about sharing their feelings. I loved every minute of it.
I loved it even more when I realized who the author was and what this series was about. An asexual writing about his relationship because he thought asexuals need more representation? I’m definitely on board with that.
I’ve often heard people talk about how important it was for them to have characters they could identify with, to read stories with people like themselves as main characters. I thought I understood what they meant and I thought I was happy if they got what they needed, but also that it wasn’t all that important to me.
I think representation in books and media is extremely important, not only for asexuals, but for me the importance of ace MCs was all about the spread-the-word factor. This kind of work would be great to create visibility for all the asexuals out there who still have no idea that there’s a word to describe what they feel, to describe that slightly, or not so slightly, out-of-sync feeling they’ve had since they’ve been old enough to realize they are not like everyone else when it comes to sexual attraction.

I’ve never felt the need to read about an ace character because I didn’t need to see myself on the pages, I might go as far as saying that I’m a bit self-conscious about that and I’ve actually gone in the opposite direction, avoiding books with ace characters, because:

a) I like to read about different things than myself. I’m living my life as myself and that’s enough, I don’t need to experience it through the pages of a book, I prefer to experience different things, to immerse myself in different people when I’m reading. After all, that’s the only time I’m able to get out of my skin and ‘experience’ life as someone else.
b) I read mostly romances. Do you know how often asexuality is portrayed as an illness in romances, cured by the magic dick that’ll make the innocent, repressed asexual understand that sex is great with the love of their life?
Can you imagine how painful it is to see part of your nature painted as something wrong, something to be cured? At worst as something that’s the product of sexual abuse or another trauma.

So, no, I’ve never thought I needed to read books with asexual characters, but I’m happy when someone gets it right and The Book of Beginnings went highly recommended.
I decided to give it a try and failed miserably. I couldn’t get past the sample, something about the writing style, the author’s voice, just didn’t work for me at the time. The idea of a bunch of opening chapters of different books wasn’t all that appealing either.
I wanted to show my support to this project, though, so I decided I would try again with the first book.

When I started this book something about the writing still wasn’t working and I don’t know if it’s par for the course with a memoir since this is the first one I ever read, but I found all the details about every activity Chris and Mark undertook together extremely tedious at times. It didn’t help that most of those activities revolved around things I’ve no interest in. The minute-by-minute play of how they worked on Mark’s essay, how they went to the gym, what they wore, if they drove or walked, how they worked out, it was all too much, I had to stop reading after a while and take a break. I even considered a DNF.
The way Chris kept inserting ‘spoilers’ about things that were going to happen months later, comments and explanations, also rubbed me off the wrong way.

I’m sorry if that sounds harsh. At the beginning of the book, when I was thinking this would be a 3-stars rating with honors for good intention, I decided I would write a very tactful review and tone it down when it came to the parts I didn’t like.
Around the time I found myself crying like a baby, I realized that if I was ever going to write a review for this book I’d have to be painfully honest about myself, so I might as well be painfully honest about everything else.
I don’t feel bad about doing so because karma went around full-circle on that one, the part about Chris interrupting the narrative to directly address the reader, and laughed right in my face (it seems to be doing that a lot lately, when it comes to books).

It was during one of those interruptions, which ended up being some of my favorite parts, that things started to turn around for me.
It’s not really a spoiler, but I’ll put it under tags because it’s long.

Do you know how many asexual characters—forget main characters, but just regular old characters—I can relate to on TV shows? Monk, probably. That guy from The Big Bang Theory, probably. Basically, characters with so-called personality defects or maybe some form of autism. Or something else that’s supposed to make them super nerds or social rejects. That’s not a realistic representation of asexuals. Some people aren’t motivated to have sex and are perfectly unremarkable. I feel like the normal one.

That’s when I started tearing up.

Then came this:

If you’re an asexual reading this and you just want to identify with a main character who finds their romance and finds their happy ending without having sex... trust me, I’m pulling for you. I guess I would now characterize myself as a demi-sexual, which for you normies is someone not interested in sex until there’s a true emotional bond. I don’t know if I would have sex with anyone else other than Mark (and like it). I might be a Mark-sexual—an asexual with one exception. I’ve met numerous happy asexual couples, so there is hope if you are romantic like me, but not into sex. It just so happens that I’m partnered to an extremely sexual person (I think by anyone’s standards, but how would I know?). If I didn’t give a little when it comes to sex, I don’t think Mark and I would have made it as a couple. Does that influence my decision on what I do and how often I do it? Of course. But the discomfort doesn't feel like a sacrifice anymore. I think having him beg for it makes it easier for me to swallow (though I don’t usually swallow or suck). Wow, I sound kind of mean, don't I? It doesn’t look normal when I lay out my demands and preconditions in a document, but our love works for us.

and this:

I think about those first few months all the time. If Mark had been upfront from the beginning, I would have pushed him away immediately. If he had told me in the first month while we were slowly growing dependent on each other for our happiness... I would have shut it down, and pushed him away (painfully). And if he hadn’t played his cards exactly right when he made me his boyfriend, we would not have made it. I would have denied him and denied him and denied him until he eventually left me alone. We almost got to that point before he finally managed to claim me.

By this point the faucets were wide open. I’m not talking about a gentle tear here and there, I’m talking about sobbing like a baby, I was basically dehydrated from crying. God, I haven’t cried so much reading a book in years. I haven’t cried so much in years. Period.
And if that’s TMI, sorry, did I give you the impression that this was an actual review? My bad.
No, this is just me airing things out and hoping it’ll help me put myself back together.

So, the quotes. You’re probably wondering what was so upsetting about them.
I don’t know how a ‘normal’ person, meaning a non-asexual person, is going to take this book. I don’t even know how an asexual is going to take this book, it’s not like we all come out of premade molds.
I can tell you that for me reading this book was like someone holding a mirror in front of me and making me look closely. I started recognizing some things, very quietly at first.
I smiled at the way Chris described his interaction with Mark, how he talked about Mark being good-looking in a completely non-sexual way. How Mark being good-looking was something to mention only because Chris made fun of how vain Mark was. The flirting that Chris wouldn’t have recognized if someone put a neon sign in front of him. I saw a lot of myself in that, not everything of course, but more than enough to recognize a fellow member of my species.
It was uncanny how the way Chris fell in love with Mark held so many similarities to the one time I fell in love.
That was sweet.

Then the second quote came along and things started getting a little tough.

If you’re not an asexual, you might not know that, but one of the biggest obstacles to a relationship between an asexual and a sexual is that compromise Chris talked about, the compromise about sex. Most sexual people can’t have a romantic relationship without ever having sex, not all asexuals can compromise and have sex to meet their partner’s needs in that department. That’s where a lot of mixed couples implode, couples that are perfectly matched in every other way. It’s nobody’s fault, but it’s painful and it adds another whole layer of chances of failure for a relationship, and we all know how many other things can break a relationship even with 100% sexual compatibility.
Since I’m making it all about myself and apparently I lost all my filters (believe me, if you knew me in RL, you’d find this hilarious; this is not me, my best friend hasn’t heard so many confessions in a row from me in two decades), that wasn’t why my relationship crashed and burned, we kind of had that part almost figured out, but seeing that painful truth put so plainly and simply in front of me did weird things to me.

The third quote made the mirror explode. I read that and I saw myself. That’s me right there. I’m not even going to try to explain it, in that moment I finally understood all the fuss about reading about someone like yourself.
I’m comfortable with what I’ve learned about myself and my sexual orientation, I thought that was enough. I knew there were other people out there more or less like me in that regard and that was enough. That IS enough. I don’t need to hear that someone else reacts exactly like me in a situation to know that what I feel and do is valid. I believe that.
Except.
Except, apparently, I DID need to hear that, I did need to know that, given the way I’m wired, my standard reaction to a certain situation is not just my weird self, that another person adopted the exact same strategy.
I could see that hypothetical scenario Chris outlined clear as day in my mind. I’ve seen it play out, I’ve lived it.

And it wasn’t only the things I already knew about myself that I recognized, there were also new things.
Chris said that he used to avoid close contact with straight single women, because it presented the occasion for unwanted advances. I took a look at my life and, yes, I do avoid getting too comfortable with straight single men. I don’t do it on purpose, but I guess you can refuse that kind of attention only so many times before you realize your friendly approach is always interpreted as sexual interest and availability.
And while I’ve never reached the pinnacle of blindness that was Chris regarding Mark’s sexuality, I’ve had my moments.
Despite the many differences in our personalities, I saw myself so much in how Chris approached a lot of situations, but it was the filter his mind seemed to apply to everything that had to do with sex and sexual interest from another person that I could relate to. Not completely and in every way, but a lot.
Apart from the Banging Room, that was just plain funny, I get Chris was shocked, but he did overreact a little bit even for my standards.

Just so it’s clear that the crying was me and not necessarily the book, I also laughed and smiled in a lot of places while I was reading it. Really, I know I sound on the verge of a nervous breakdown in this review, but reading this book wasn’t all an emotional mess on my part.

I don’t deny that it was a shock to my system, I can’t even begin to imagine how much more devastating this book would have been if I’d read it before finding out what being asexual meant and how it related to me. As it was, it still came out of nowhere and left me raw with all my vulnerable parts on display; the fact that I’m here spilling my guts out for every stranger that’ll happen to read this is proof enough of that.
But if other people can put themselves on display and give me a piece of something precious about themselves, something that makes me feel a little less broken in places I didn’t even know I had cracks showing, so can I.

And it’s a small price to pay for the chance to publicly thank them as they deserve, even if some of them will never know.

Thanks to Chris for writing this book. Thanks to Mark for confirming my faith that ‘normal’ people can and will understand (I’m sure I’ll have a lot of other occasions in the future to repeat this).
Thank you to Annob, Gabi and Xia Xia for pointing me to this book and for pushing when I said I wasn’t convinced. Thank you, girls, really.

Speaking of them, if you’re looking for reviews that resemble reviews instead of therapy sessions, here are some links:

Annob’s review.

Gabi’s review.

Xia Xia’s review. This one is actually another therapy session, as Xia Xia observed, but it’s a much more interesting therapy session. ;)

[Snjez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to read just a few pages to see how I would feel about it, because I don't usually read memoires, but I ended up finishing it the same day.

I found the story very engaging and I loved the way it was written. Since it is a true story I won't make any comments other than say that I really loved Chris and Mark, and yes, that's the right way to have a shower 😉.

[annob [on hiatus] · Rating 5 out of 5]

The ultimate slow-burn romance! And I say that as highest possible praise. Only it's a true love story with lots of humour, banter, genuine feelings and real people.

It glows, this story, the kind of inner glow two people starting to fall in love has. Even though the main character Chris isn't interested in sex with anyone, there is an ongoing build-up of... friendship sparkles? Whatever to call it, the chemistry is there and it's magical. It builds oh so slowly at first, and builds, and builds aaaand I'm not going to spoil what, or how things happen. But things happen. :)



The story starts off with an unlikely friendship between an introvert and an extrovert. At first, helping each other out. Then friends, who quickly become best friends and soon wants more, just in very different ways.

I felt a connection with Chris from the very beginning, but Mark is at first appearance exactly the type of person I would avoid in the real world. Full of himself, the natural centre of everyone's attention because he looks good.

Apparently very, very good.



And he full well knows it.




Eyeroll, coming right up!

But I did like how Mark took Chris under his wing, and somehow balanced the new things he challenges Chris to try while having a sneaky understanding how best to play off of their differences in personality.

'The Friend' share the first few chapters with 'The Book of Beginnings', but here we get the full story of Chris and Mark's first months of friendship. And while getting to know Chris, his quirks and adorable, fresh take on the things he experiences, it is Mark's more deeply hidden characteristics which charmed me in this book. 'Cos I actually started to like the guy midway through it.

We're purposely kept out of Mark's POV but his on-page actions, and sometimes Chris' narrator hindsight commentary, paints a pretty clear picture of what is going on in Mark's head. Both his heads.



This was one of those books I never wanted to end, and yet couldn't stop reading because I had to see what happened next. Wonderful witty dialogue aside, it also has passages of deeper thoughts and reflections, crazy relatable and insightful. Many times my mind went 'It me!'.

Most of all this book is a lot of fun, and is adorkably, delightfully romantic. Highly recommended.

(This book was provided for free by the author for the purpose to beta-read prior to publication.)

[Gabi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread: I must've read this book 3 times now in it's interity, also in segments, but I still marvel at things.

----------------
Original review:
If you already read The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here you might have some inkling of what this book is about.

On a fateful day, Chris and Mark were destined to meet, the stars aligned and... Haha! No! ;D

What happened is that Mark, the cocky model saw a guy after his morning run, sitting in a park talking to himself and thought 'Hmm, this guy seems weird, I should ask what he's doing, he might appreciate the company...' NOT.

Chris, the writer was doing his scheduled voice-typing after his run in the park. He didn't want any interruption, certainly not from an annoying, sweaty guy.

Imagine an intelligent, funny, quick-witted, surefooted guy, Chris, who's perfectly happy with his writing. He doesn't think about girlfriends/boyfriends, relationships and the whole package in general. And sex? Ew! Germs! He's a sweet and adorable guy, who likes to help people when he can.

And then there's Mark. Cuddly Mark, Grumpy Mark and Slutty Mark all rolled into one. A charming, cheeky, confident, self-assured hotshot, he likes being the center of attention and he shine's brighter then the sun. He doesn't think about serious relationships, he likes his hookups. But he's lonely and in need of a friend.

After that encounter in the park the two men got to know each other. And despite their different personalities they slowly became friends.

But are they really that different? And is it only friendship they could have? Do they wan't more?

What you'll get from this book:

- slow-burn (really, there's not even a kiss)
- sexual frustration (poor Mark) ;)
- a lot of laughter, like a LOT (I'm not even kidding)
- fashion advice (thanks Mark, I now know if I do a squat and my pants won't split open in the middle, then it's safe to say, they're not too skinny) ;D
- you will smile and swoon, get angry at times and tear up (so all the feels)
- you'll see a battle of wills through several encounters, playful arguments and bickering
- it will made you think about some stuff that you haven't considered before or disregarded
- long after reading this story, you will catch yourself smiling at nothing at odd times (and people might think you're crazy)

I know it seems long, but once you're in it you won't even notice that you're already halfway through and when you're done, you'll just want more. It's only the beginning of their story, the next book will be about their friendship becoming more.

It's a true story, a memoir written as romance. Come along on Chris and Mark's journey towards love.

Enjoy the ride! :D


***I received a free copy of this book for beta reading purposes.***

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is unique and utterly personal.

Tbh, it does feel a little bit like prying, even is it is obvious that Chris is putting his biographical love story out there for a reason.
I’m totally smitten. With Chris and Mark. With the story and the genuine writing.
And after book 1 I can’t help wondering how on earth two guys as different as they are can ever make it together.
We know that they do, a fact that I love, the question is how.
What an absolutely amazing and beautiful story!

Highly recommended.

[~nikki the recovering book addict · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars!

I’m glad this book is finally out. A few of my GR friends have been actively helping the author get this book out (I’m happy to see they’re credited in the book *feeling proud of them*)

I’m happy to read a story that doesn’t focus on sex. In fact, there isn’t any sex in this instalment. And I’m really happy to read about love and romance from an asexual person’s POV. Yay for representation!

This book introduced Chris and Mark and how they met and how their friendship developed. According to the author, it’s a real account of his relationship with his now husband. Since the author is writing under a pen name, it’s hard to fact check and corroborate. But we’ll give him the benefit of doubt and accept his claims as true.

The pace is a little slow and it is quite long. But honestly, I enjoyed most of it. Parts of me had moments of suspended disbelief, where I’m wondering if things actually happened in real life. Because while it’s not wildly impossible it happened, it just does feel like it only happens in fiction. But then I’ve actually met authors who tell me crazy real life stories and we all agree that yes, sometimes life is crazier than fiction!

Anyways, I’m looking forward to the next one! =]

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Edit: IT'S OUT!! https://www.amazon.com/Friend-Its-Jus...

I'm too excited to write something coherent but rest assured: I LOVED THIS BOOK. Chris has such a fun voice and I will never not laugh at someone saying Yuck or Eww when it comes to sexual issues. We definitely need more diversity, and in M/M asexual characters are still a rarity.
I had the privilege to read this book as a beta and I can't thank Chris enough for trusting my non-English native butt with this precious book. 2019 can't come soon enough!

[namericanwordcat · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book (and the rest of them) make my head hurt. The whole time I am reading...I am like WHAT IS THIS?

The author claims this is a memoir but written in romance novel style. And you can see testimonials to the idea that this is a true story in the Goodreads community and beta readers and so on.

Though identities have been blurred and Christopher X. Sullivan is not the name of the person nor is Marc.

I'd rather think of the idea that this is an autobiography as a conceit. The idea of a kind of deception makes me really uncomfortable and there is so much that is over the top here makes it really hard for me to accept the idea of following a true story and memoirs are so murky anyhow. And after this book as the series goes on I really want to to be fiction because the sexual aspects of the plot become pretty sensational and Jackie Collins or pulpy which is in terms of tone is really odd.

Truth is all these books (really a serial) are super weird. They ramble. They have lots of not needed scenes and in this way reminder with of Kristin Ashley's Sweet Dreams where you wonder has this person read a book before and yet it is captivating as the push of a unique first person narrative that flashes back and forward, meanders, stalls, races, repeats, layers, spins, wanders off and cracks the 4th wall then barrels on and on.

So, at the heart of the book is Chris, a socially awkward asexual hero who is very funny and pretty clueless on social cues. We get him in in the past, present and some how in the future so he is an intersting character and many stages of personal awareness and development in who he is and we get this all at once.

I would love to Marc's point of view but I a begging for the author not to do that awful thing where they put out the same book from that point of view.

One of the stated purposes of this project of 10 books is to have asexual representation. I would say to Chris is also sex repulsed. The friendship between Marc who is hyper sexual and Chris is really engaging. They are both very high maintenance and the emotional moments between them are a treasure and I always enjoy a clueless hero.

So, even though I have my doubts about the "realness" (I feel a lot like the book is as if Andy Kauffman was writing) and the writing style is bananas, I went on to read the rest of this bonkers serial.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first written review I’ve ever left on Goodreads despite having read hundreds of MM romance titles. I have been a beta reader for this series, but that only happened after I read The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here and was starved for more and signed myself up! Point being - I’m leaving this review simply because I love the story, not in exchange for a thing.

If you love lots of details, deep characterization, and a slow, slow burn, this story is for you. These are features that for me make up the best romances and therefore had me hooked quickly. The addition of an asexual character (Chris) is icing on the cake. The Friend is part one of a long series, the introduction to the friendship of Chris and Mark and the first step on their road to becoming couple. It’s like a long character study in romance vs being heavy on plot. The POV is all Chris, and much care is given to show his long path to realization of the feelings of romantic love he is developing for Mark. The two are often a goofy pair, and Mark is sweet with a big heart in contrast to Chris’ more serious demeanor. But they work well.

I highly recommend this book and series if you’re looking for something with depth and quality. It is the anti insta-love series.

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

“All I ever wanted was for our story— the story of me and Mark told through the eyes of a non-sexual narrator— I wanted that story to be available so that other people who might never see themselves in print could have someone to identify with.”

Same as Lau, who recommended this book to me (♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎), I do not feel comfortable rating this book since I would feel as if I was judging the real humans behind these characters and their real lives. EDIT: I finally decided to rate it as a work of fiction.

I really enjoyed the first chapter of Mark and Chris' story. I know it's going to be a rollercoster of emotions and I'm here for it. (I've already started The Companion). It was a bit weird at first, well, not weird, maybe slow I think... I'm so used to read books where the whole meeting-friends-tension-get together-HEA is developed in one or two volumes, that it was quite interesting to get just the beginning in the same amount of pages. But I loved it. I loved it because it felt real, it was a whole process, the characters did not just trust/liked/loved each other in a matter of two chapters, you could see how the roots for their relationship were growing and growing. 'Till they start to germinate at the end. I cannot wait to see them blooming.

I decided to read these books because I wanted to understand asexuality from a more realistic point of view than the information I've read on the internet or the typical (stereotyped) characters in the media, and it was the best decision I could have taken. I was really surprised with how Chris reacted to some situations and interactions, because as a cis-sexual person, I could not help but felt more identified with Mark's behaviour and feelings, and it was eye-opening to understand Chris' vision of the same events that were being so differently interpreted by Mark (and me as a reader by extension).

However, the fact that it felt real had some bad aspects too. I could not help but get so irritated by the toxic masculinity in the book. There were so many comments such as "don't be such a pussy", "what a slut", "Oh, you take care of yourself? Well, you are just like a girl", or even a moment when Mark tells Chris that he clearly was the girl in their relationship (ugh), and he was like "oh my god, that was the worse thing he could have said to me". I understand that it was a long time ago, and in our society, most men talk like that but I just... as a woman, this kind of comments hurt.

[Alba · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know where to start with this review. I had to join Goodreads just to write it. This is the first book I've read with an asexual MC which is silly of me when I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum myself.

This book is beautiful and real and funny. I don't have the words or the writing ability to get across how lovely I found it to read. My favourite part of books is the characters and their development and this story has it in spades though at times it's very gradual and subtle. Despite the fact this this book follows the generally mundane day to day life of Chris as he falls in love with Mark it never gets boring. I have to admit I would love a companion book/series from Mark's point of view.

I think it takes a lot of courage to write about your personal life, even with name changes, and publish it for complete strangers but I am so grateful that the author did. I don't personally know anyone who is anything like me as I live in a small town in the land of kangaroos so I loved getting a glimpse into the life of another asexual.

I can't say if this book will appeal to everyone but I am so, so glad that I decided to give it a shot and read it. It was unexpected and wonderful. I enjoyed it so much that I read it in a day and then read book 2 in its entirety the next day. I got lucky that my work shifts this week allowed me to do so.

So to anyone who reads this review who isn't sure about whether or not they should take a chance and read it, I say go for it. It may be a big commitment for some to stick out a 10 book series but if they are published on schedule they'll all be out by the end of the year and I think it's going to be worth it.

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

Totally unexpected. I didn't know what to expect from this book but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Excited to read the next one. Only a few more days to go. Yay!

[Tamara]

I'm at 45% and have been for a while. I have no desire to continue at this time, but maybe at some point, later.

[Steffi Stardust · Rating 5 out of 5]

The setting: Monday morning. A park in Chicago. A shirtless young man named Mark approaches another guy, who seems to be talking to himself at a picnic table. This is Chris, who is actually not talking to himself, but working on a novel. He really doesn’t like being interrupted.
The (almost) first thing Chris, who is also our narrator, says to Mark is “What do you need?” And Mark’s answer is quite unexpected and equally direct: “I need a friend.”

This quirky little conversation where two strangers decide to meet for a run in the park is the kindling for a wonderfully hilarious and occasionally heartbreaking romance that slowly, surely, irrevocably develops between two men with very different experiences and lifestyles.

Turns out, a friend is exactly what both Mark and Chris need, and turns out, they are really good at being ‘friends’. Just friends. Honest.

From the first page of The Friend, Christopher Sullivan is having a conversation with his readers. He opens his journals and pours his irreverent heart out - it’s like seeing a dear friend after a long time or meeting someone randomly and hitting it off. Like an old guy in a bar who tells you funny stories about his crazy life, which you, as the hipster with the microbrew IPA and insufficient street cred, can’t help but listen to and hope that perhaps one day you’ll have similar stories to tell and be just as good at telling them.

In other words, Sullivan lures us in and doesn’t let us go.

What you’ll find in these pages:

-A Cinderella story where the ‘Cinderfella’ actually really, really, really doesn’t want to go to the ball and make out with the Prince, no matter how handsome and suave and rich he is. Cinderfella really just wants some work out tips and to help the Prince pass his summer classes.

And furthermore:

-A funny, heartfelt, idiosyncratic love letter to a soulmate. A friendship (romance!) full of obstacles and adventures.

-A compulsively readable memoir about self-discovery, sex, love and growth.

What you get out of it:

You will be entertained and teased and tortured. You will laugh heartily (LOL) and shake your head in frustration (SMH). You’ll be inspired: The next time a rich, vain IG model comes around, you’ll give them a chance, because they actually turn out to be fun and adventurous ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). You’ll probably take an evening class and learn something. You’ll want to sign up to a gym immediately and also (probably) learn to play tennis. You will get an amazing haircut, buy a good suit (or dress) and live your life like it’s a makeover montage. You’ll definitely want to learn to make your own bacon. You’ll say ‘yes’ to a random idea instead of ‘no’, and not even be sure why. That’s what’s gonna happen. So you may as well give in and start reading now.

[Shelba · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really am enjoying the story, I'm just not really liking how it's being told.

I typically don't read memoirs, and by typically, I mean I don't. I put off reading this for a bit because I don't like reading about real, currently-living people. But the fact that this is about an asexual, or non-sexual (as per the author's preference) person, I was intrigued. I identify as asexual myself and typically avoid books with asexual characters as I often am disappointed with how they are portrayed. As our author so well puts it:

Basically, characters with so-called personality defects or maybe some form of autism. Or something else that's supposed to make them super nerds or social rejects. That's not a realistic representation of asexuals. Some people aren't motivated to have sex and are perfectly unremarkable."

Not that I haven't read a book with great ace representation, it's just that they are more a rarity than a common occurrence, in my opinion.

The thing that I don't like about how this story is told is all the tangents about their relationship, their son, their sex lives. Those events haven't happened yet in the story, so to constantly jump towards the present day, or just future events in general, kind of ruins the surprise. I could see if the author hadn't chosen to remain anonymous and if their relationship was well documented and easily read on a Wiki page, but since we don't know who they are (if you do, keep it to yourself), it's like he's dropping spoilers for his own story.

And then there is the fact that the author apologizes to the reader for these tangents, often acknowledging that they are of events we haven't read about yet. And there are other little asides to the readers here and there, and I've never been a fan of being addressed by the narrator, as for me, it draws me out of the narrative.

On top of that, he addresses Mark a few time. He apologizes to him a few times for what he (Mark) will eventually read about what he (Chris) had written about Mark. Or like this little one: Message from future me: YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! YOU KNOW YOU SUCKED AT WRITING! SUCK MY COCK! ;) Yes, the caps and the emoji are actually there in the book.

Mind you, I stayed up reading this until 4am and started on the second book already, so I am definitely enjoying it, I just wish he had gone about it in a more linear fashion, without addressing the readers and Mark.

[Rachel]

4/12/19 Currently FREE via Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07...?

[Jenvile · Rating 5 out of 5]

If anyone interacted with me, I viewed it through the lens of my default position: I never wanted to harm anyone, I never wanted to seduce anyone, I never wanted to be noticed. So, to my mind, no one would want to do those things to me, either.

*re-read a second time*

There’s something about Chris’ writing which you can’t help but want to keep reading and reading and reading. I stopped at book four last year but I’m going to re-read books 1-3 and read them all to the the finish line this time!

——

First book of the year I finished, and immediately it is one of my favourites. I knew that when this story had first came out I would love it - and I saved it so that all of the books could come out at the same time to binge read them.

Boy I’m glad I did.

I absolutely love this ‘self portrait’ as Chris calls it and there are so many reasons why I love it. I can add so many descriptive adjectives here to convince you that I enjoyed and loved reading Chris’ story and thoughts - but honestly I have no words.

For some people, they may think it could be mundane, however as Virginia Woolf famously argued, within the mundane is the beautiful. There is extraordinary within the ordinary ... the everyday ... the mundane. And that’s what this story was. A story about two guys becoming friends. Simple. But oh so eloquently and beautiful and gorgeous.

I absolutely adored Chris’ narration - his frankness, his intelligence and his emotion. I’m so freaking excited to keep reading (knowing that my heart will probably be broken several times throughout the books), and I know that I will no doubt enjoy them all.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

I probably should have reviewed each book as I read them since they all flow together one into the next. I enjoyed this first book that laid the foundations of the main couple. Both Chris and Mark are very different people making it rather fascinating to see them work into each others lives. There aren't a huge number of romance stories dealing with asexual characters see it is great to get a peak into Chris's head as he is being courted unknowingly by Mark. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the writing style of these books as well. Often the writer would break out of the narrative to go on a tangent about something in the story often times giving a glimpse of the story's future. Instead of being irritated, I enjoyed them alot. They hooked me into the story more wondering how this story could turn to include the future developments.

[Peipei · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was beautiful and real and felt very personal.
"I only saw myself as the friend. The good friend. The friend that would rely on Mark like how flowers relied on the sun. I could only hope that he didn't burn me."
I felt connected to the book because of the little excerpts once in a while that brought in the author's current voice-- they either gave a sneak peak of what is to come or they gave some more context from Mark's perspective and helped to fill in the gaps for the reader-- which made the book seem more like an experience that I'm reliving along with the author. The reason for the four stars is I thought there were a few too many of the 'glimpse into the future' excerpts for my taste; they pulled me out of the current events of that scene and I wanted to soak in the hardship and despair with the characters of that time without being quickly reassured that it all works out (this is a completely personal thing, most of these parts were artfully placed I just thought there were too many). However, I did enjoy a lot of the foreshadowing, it smoothly lets the reader know to buckle down and enjoy the long, lovely ride that is the It's Just Us Here series. I was about to implode at the ending, thinking that it would be at least half a year before the next release, but I'm so glad it's just a month away! See you all on the next one :)

[Ekollon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't actually want to write this review right now because I'm away from my main computer (not at my home right now) but if I start the next book in this series before I review this one, I just know the two are going to fuse in my mind and I won't be able to review them individually. Ugh. So, the review comes now! Sorry for any mistakes in the writing of the review, I'll try to remember to review and correct them when I'm at my main computer.

Anyway, this was a pretty neat book. The representation (asexual, autism spectrum, dietary restrictions) felt a lot more realistic to me than a lot of the representation that I see in a lot of books, which was ridiculously nice. Sometimes I side-eyed both of the main characters for things they did and other times I felt uncomfortable, but I think that's true to life; humans fall flat. We do things we shouldn't, and we don't meet standards. If we expect people to not do this, we're going to have trouble.

I really enjoyed watching Chris and Mark develop both personally and in their relationship. I liked the flow of the story, and the way that future events and states were acknowledged while discussing the past.

This series is clearly going to be pretty long, but I'm feeling hopeful about it and look forward to seeing how it goes.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars! This book sucked me right in and I loved it! On to book 2.

[Adam · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, a little bit about the star rating. Three stars is where I'd place it in reference to the next few books in "It's Just Us Here." If I were rating the first three volumes together, this'd be at least 4 stars.

Also, I made a basic reader mistake: for about the first 20% of the book, I thought this was fiction, not a memoir. (Irony: I had trouble buying the plot. It felt so random! Almost like actual life.) Early on, I nearly DNFed it. Whoops.

I'm still making my way through the "It's Just Us" books, and it took me a while to understand what bugged me so much about this one: although Sullivan gives us a lot of details here about what happened, we don't learn nearly enough about why.

I think my core concern is that Sullivan tells us, outside the narrative, that he's asexual, but he doesn't get more specific than that. Telling us that he's ace doesn't, in itself, necessarily explain to us how that part of his head worked outside of the broadest possible definition of "not interested in sex." We have to deduce specific elements like repulsions from his reported behavior. More importantly, he doesn't contextualize his self-knowledge; it's never clear in this volume how much he understood his own asexuality when he befriended Mark. That he never articulates his asexuality to anyone is a pivotal element of the story as it unfolds. It's one of the book's central conflicts, but that absence of communication is barely remarked-upon. I shouldn't have had to guess whether Chris was afraid of disclosing his nonsexuality or if he just didn't have the language or self-knowledge to talk about it at the time. Had he done much research on the topic of asexuality? Had he ever encountered AVEN? If he had, I suspect events would have unfolded differently.

Because I only had a partial understanding of how Sullivan's head worked during the period in which "The Friend" takes place, I sometimes had a hard time wrapping my head around his end of the dynamic between him and Mark. I was surprised to find myself better able to guess what was going on with Mark, who we only ever see from the outside.

What did Sullivan's friendships look like before he met Mark? Did he have friends he could casually spend time with? If not, then I expect a significant aspect of the story as it unfolded had to do with Sullivan simply being lonely, but he doesn't tell us this as such. If so, was he conscious of that loneliness? I shouldn't have had to guess about this stuff.

Oddly, one of the concerns that pops up for me in later books is not a concern here: Sullivan periodically pulls us out of his recollection to give us the broad strokes of what the future holds for him. In this volume, he doesn't get too deeply into detail, so these feel like an effective way to keep us curious about how the narrative will get from point A to points B, C, and D. This volume is also lighter on the out-of-the-narrative tangents that crop up later books.

Was I entertained by reading this? Yes. I almost want to re-read the first 20% or so with the knowledge that this is nonfiction in mind. A brief glance at other reviews on Goodreads tells me that this book accomplished part of what Sullivan intended it to do: it sounds like it resonated with ace readers, which is beyond awesome. Sullivan seems aware that some of his readers would be allo, and there was probably some missed opportunity in this volume to educate "sexual" readers about how his particular asexuality works, if he wanted to take it.

Most of my qualms about what's omitted from this volume are resolved by the next couple: they're peppered with elements I wish we'd learned here. That Chris literally has no point of reference for what the word "sexy" means is significant.

Since I'm mostly being critical of this volume, I want to be clear: this book is incredibly brave. There's an entertaining, deeply touching, non-sexual love story here. Chris, Mark, and their friends are absolutely people about whom I want to read, and theirs is a partnership I want to cheer for. The immense detail in which this book recounts events is crucial for understanding that relationship. Ironically, at least for this mostly-allo reader, this book was also terrifically sexy, given that was presumably never its intent. Maybe that's just me.

[Ay · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s set up as a memoir, not as a m/m romance, so it’s a different reading experience.

I enjoyed it, and am onto the second one.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've just finished the 5th book in this series of a romance between two men who love each other... a lot. Yeah Yeah I know this is number one in the series but this will be for all of the books. So sue me.
I have laughed out loud and cried reading these books. I do not ever go into detail about the books I leave review for. I do advice people to read the books and these are definitely worth the time. I truly have done nothing else but read these books. Now it's a long wait until August.

I actually like reading a male/male romance. . I would love to read more books by Christopher X Sullivan or whatever the name is he writes under. How the devil are you supposed to read your previous books if no one knows the names you write under???

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasnt sure about this when I first started but then the characters grew on me. It is a great 'opposites attract' memoir and although the end was left open we all know what happens ultimately. So in the end I enjoyed this and laughed in some places. I think I will read the entire series eventually.

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread 2/11/19 for book 2 to be released!

Reread 3/15/19 for book 3!

[Jordan Lombard · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not really a review, but more a written spew of my thoughts. FYI.

I don’t really know how to feel about this book. I’m ace and nonbinary and apparently have a lot in common with Chris, so much so that it was easy to put myself in his shoes. It made me a bit more introspective than I’d have liked. I am how I am and I don’t like change. Go away. Lol. As Chris gave in to Mark, I found myself digging in my heels yelling “No!”

I enjoyed this book. It was easy to read, made me laugh sometimes, and was interesting, but there were some things that really bugged me. First off, Mark doesn’t know how to respect Chris’s boundaries. AT ALL. And some of Chris’s asides about their future sex had me cringing, not necessarily because I’m Ace (I actually do read a lot of MM Romance novels) but because he says he has sex to make Mark happy even if he’s not interested in it. That’s a huge no. Even if Chris does eventually grow to like it at some point, this was too fine a line for me. At some point Chris says Mark was reeling him in faster and tighter and he wasn’t sure he could escape even if he’d wanted to. Ummm... not very romantic. That sounds scary to me!

I’m also an introvert who hates conflict, so the constant bickering and fighting was exhausting. Can all of this lead to a healthy relationship? I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t survive it. BUT, I DO get where Mark is coming from trying to boostChris’s self-esteem. Chris needs it. I know I need it. I just wish he’d been a lot gentler about it.

Okay, part of the problem is that Chris does not explain much about himself to Mark, just lets Mark figure things out on his own. Like his being Ace. If Mark doesn’t know, how can he possibly respond to it, or understand he’s being too forward or whatever. I also wanted to know more about Chris and his sexuality here. Did he know he was ace at the time? I didn’t figure out I was ace until my late 20’s, but I was mostly oblivious all my life to the fact that the rest of the world is sex focused. It helps when you have few friends and live in your own world, and that your friends are mostly nerdy and don’t talk about sex. Lol. Anyway, how did he realize he was ace? So many questions about that.

Chris still lives with his parents but we don’t ever see them. He summarizes a brief conversation with his mother, but I know nothing about her. I thought his dad was gone but there’s one line from him late in the book. How did they feel about his sudden late nights? How did he explain sleeping at a straight guy friends place over night so often?

Did Mark pass the class? I’m sure he did, but confirmation would have been nice.

A long time ago I had a friendship with a gay guy where I was more open and would willingly do things for him because I do like doing things for other people. Actually, I like buying things for other people too sometimes. I shocked him by doing his laundry once. So I do know what that kind of relationship is like. I just... had some issues with boundaries, as I said. And maybe it’s just because I don’t want those boundaries crossed with me. I am Chris when it comes to fashion and how I feel about myself. Enough said.

[Tshepiso · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 stars

The Friend may possibly be one of the most baffling books I’ve read all year. It was certainly a bad book but it was bad in some of the most interesting ways I’ve ever experienced. I feel a certain hesitancy in critiquing this book because it is a memoir and I have no idea how to approach being critical of someone’s life story. But that is just a challenge I’ll have to face as a reviewer.

The Friend is a memoir chronicling the author Christopher Sullivan’s (a pseudonym) romance with his now husband Marc (also a pseudonym). This book is the first installment of ten as Christopher recounts the early stages of his and Marc’s friendship that we know will later become something more.

My first problem with this book is that while it calls itself a memoir it stylistically doesn’t resemble a memoir at all. It reads more like a romance novel than a memoir. I haven’t read a lot of memoirs but this book has a sense of immediacy instead of the more reflective tone I would expect of a memoir. It makes the reading experience very jarring because I expected this novel to as advertised, a memoir but instead it reads like a fiction romance novel.

I was also not very fond of Sullivan’s writing. He frequently paused the narrative to insert out of place introspection on things vaguely related to what was happening during the action. He was overly fond of long winded tangents that should have just been edited out of the book because they added nothing and wasted time.

This next criticism is going to sound very harsh, but given the fact that book reads like a romance novel I feel justified in judging it by that metric. To put it bluntly Marc and Christopher’s friendship and burgeoning romance is insufferable. Marc is overbearing, vain and has no respect for Christopher’s boundaries. Because Marc is consistently portrayed this way I found it hard to understand why the author fell in love with him by the end of the book.

Honestly, the strangest thing about this book was that it wasn’t completely awful. Especially in the early stages of this novel I found some of Sullivan’s writing to be really entertaining. He knows he way around a good turn of phrase and I was actually laughing out loud at some of the lines. Unfortunately this book was bogged down with a lot of amateurish writing.

If I have to give The Friend one thing it was a very interesting book. I’ve never read anything like it, and I probably won’t read anything like it again. That’s not really a compliment but this book was memorable and I’ll probably be thinking about it for a good long while.