Paranormal Privateers

by Andy Zach

Zombies charge first, ask questions later.

Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them. If Diane gets overwhelmed her lovely zombie bodyguards and romantic zombie husband come to the rescue.

Out of the blue, new foes appear. Or are they friends? Or both? The frenemies neutralize zombies and orchestrate world peace. They disrupt the economy and produce fabulous wealth. Even the greatest criminals and governments can't stop them from dominating the world.

Can humanity afford the price of peace? All must surrender freedom to a not-so-benign dictatorship. Diane and the paranormal privateers must do the unthinkable to save humanity. But is it enough?

In an explosive and unconventional ending to Andy Zach's Life After Life Chronicles, you will learn what happens when the paranormal privateers meet the world's greatest fear. And you will laugh all the way.

Genres: Action

320 pages, Paperback

First published May 5, 2018

About the author

Andy Zach was born Anastasius Zacharias, in Greece. His parents were both zombies. Growing up, he loved animals of all kinds. After moving to the United States as a child, in high school, he won a science fair by bringing toads back from suspended animation. Before turning to fiction, Andy published his Ph.D. thesis "Methods of Revivification for Various Species of the Kingdom Animalia" in the prestigious JAPM, Journal of Paranormal Medicine. Andy, in addition to being the foremost expert on paranormal animals, enjoys breeding phoenixes. He lives in Illinois with his five phoenixes.

Having conquered paranormal animal humor in his first series, Andy Zach launches into middle school superhero genre with Secret Supers. Four disabled seventh graders all get superpowers. Who knew a disability could be so useful for hiding a superpower? But the four friends, Jeremy, Dan, Kayla, and Aubrey confront problems that can't be solved by superpowers.

Andy follows up the first book with an exciting sequel, Villain's Vacation, set in a coaster park where the Secret Supers fight their archnemesis who's out for revenge.

With his first book, "Zombie Turkeys" Andy blazed new ground in paranormal humor. The second book in his Life After Life Chronicles,

In the sequel, 'Zombie Detective', zombie reporter, Sam Melvin gets fired by his wife Lisa because their paper is barely making money. He tries working as a private detective--specializing in zombies, animal and human.

His third book, "My Undead Mother-in-law" expands the zombie plague from turkeys to humans, with hilarious results. You can find both volumes on Amazon Kindle, Createspace print, and Audible audiobook editions.

Not content to keep in zombies earthbound, Andy puts them afloat in his fourth book, "Paranormal Privateers". Just when you thought every funny zombie trope had been explored, new humorous horizons open up. You can get "Paranormal Privateers" in Kindle and print formats. The audiobook is available now on Audible.

Finally, last but not least is Andy Zach's short story collection, where he collaborates with other writers filling in details about his unique zombie alternate history.

Subscribe to his newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/22d3daf2a1b7/get-y...

Reviews

[Jacqueline Fairchild · Rating 5 out of 5]

Andy Zach has out done himself. Paranormal Privateers has it all! Follow all your favorite Andy characters as they save the world. Full of action that just zings from one scene to the next, leaving you on the edge of your seat.
Yet tender.
Andy incorporates romance in a way that makes you a believer.
And of course the Queen of England is here in all her glory.
Yet Andy's writing is not all fun and games, he has a way with words that reach your heart. Follow him and the zombie bulls as they rip through Harrod's china department and feel as though you have been there yourself.
I am certain you will love this book.
Who should read it: Any one who has a sense of adventure, all zombie lovers, romance readers who want a new slant, and travel readers who want to take an armchair trip.
Would it make a good gift? Yes, the Life after Life Chronicles would all be great gifts! Something that will make the recipient laugh out loud while clinging to the edge of their seat!
Jacqueline Gillam Fairchild--owner, Her Majesty's English Tea Room. Author: Greater Expectations.

[Wesley Britton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paranormal Privateers is my third go-around with author Andy Zack. First, I read his bizarre Zombie Turkeys (How an Unknown Blogger Fought Unkillable Turkeys) (2016). Next came My Undead Mother-In-Law (The Family Zombie with Anger Management Issues) (2017). As the titles suggest, Zack’s world of zombie animals and people aren’t meant to terrify readers. Instead, Zack is out to amuse and entertain us with the most unusual situations and scenes most of us will ever experience on the printed page.

Paranormal Privateers continues the weirdness with a handful of returning characters and the type of zombies few of us would want to kill, destroy, or dismember. They’re, for the most part, super-heroes with superior strength, resistance to diseases like cancer, and the ability to regenerate limbs and other body parts. These zombies don’t want to lose these abilities so they carry around vials of infected blood to make sure they have the means to become a zombie again in case somebody cures them.

This time around, a crew of zombies has a presidential commission and a super-yacht to take on missions the U.S. Military can’t. Their leader is the impatient Diane Newby, the “Undead Mother-in-Law” of the previous volume. She fiercely leads her comrades as they battle Somali pirates, Crimean human slavers, and London terrorists in Harrods department store with the aid of huge zombie bulls. (Talk about a bull in a china shop!) then, a more serious scenario pulls together three storylines as the zombie team infiltrate a North Korean nuclear facility. One of these storylines centers on a North Korean defector who first becomes a zombie, then a Christian, and then he does his best to spread both in a prison camp.

Along the way, the heroic zombies and their human allies must suffer with the schemes of Sid Boffin, a 120-year-old criminal genius who wants to rule the earth and destroy all zombies with viruses carried on fly feet. Despite his efforts, Diane and her group fight on even after losing their zombie strength and regenerative abilities.

And then . . . we get an alien spaceship bringing powerful aliens to earth. It’s almost a completely different book from that point forward, beginning about 2/3 of the way in Paranormal Privateers.

All three volumes of the “Life After Life” series so far are fast-paced romps with minimal character development full of quirky humor and off-the-wall satire. While not billed as YA novels, I see no reason why young adults wouldn’t especially enjoy these yarns. There’s much about blogging, Skype, and other contemporary matters throughout all the adventures. How about a Kickstarter campaign to fund a cure for the anti-zombie virus? Political correctness? Say “paranormal people,” not “zombies.”

No reader needs to read the previous books to jump into the action, although it wouldn’t hurt to read My Undead Mother-in-Law first to get some character background. But all you need to get into the quirky world of Andy Zack is to have a healthy sense of humor and the willingness to travel to a world that never was and never will be.

This review first appeared at BookPleasures.com on Aug. 6, 2018:
https://waa.ai/acSL

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Note: While this is Book 3 in the series it works mostly well as a stand-alone novel.

Zombies! But it’s worse than that – there’s zombie turkeys, zombie corgis, zombie chipmunks, and even zombie mother-in-laws! Haha! I’ve really enjoyed this series, though Book 1 has been my favorite. This book is fun as well but parts of it were a little slow and there’s a lot piled into the story, maybe a little too much.

Diane, Sam, and Lisa continue to be my favorite characters. Diane is such a quintessential mother-in-law: a bit overbearing but definitely well meaning. If you want a difficult job done to completion, send in Diane (with her zombie corgis and zombie bulls!). And it’s good to have Sam and Lisa taking bigger roles this book (I missed them in Book 2 where they only had a small part near the end).

The story rambles a bit and some of that was fun but some of it felt a little out there, a little disjointed. We’ve got the zombies (human and non-human) but then we toss in North Korea nuclear missile stuff, Somali pirates, aliens, AIs, clones, and a master nemesis who is over 100 years old. Sometimes I did loose track of the plot, though I did so while still chuckling at the humor.

There is a little bit of political stuff tucked in here and there. Whenever I got close to my limit, the story moved on to something else. During these times, I don’t want politics in my fiction as I get enough of it in real life (just a personal bent since I go to fiction to escape reality for a bit). The story leaves us with happy zombies. 4/5 stars.

The Narration: Phil Blechman and Raven Perez continue to give us a really good performance. For the most part, they had unique voices for all the characters. I really enjoy Perez’s mother-in-law voice. There are characters from around the world (and then some) in this story and sometimes the narrators gave us accents, and sometimes this didn’t, and then occasionally those accents went in and out. I was expecting some Somali accents, but didn’t really hear any. Also the Hispanic accent sometimes sounded real close to the Korean accent, which kinda shows how muddled the accents sometimes were. Still, all characters were easy to distinguish from one another. On the technical side, occasionally Perez’s parts sounded like they were recorded in a totally different room than Blechman. However, all around, considering the huge cast of characters on this one, it was a pretty good narration. 4/5 stars.

I received this audiobook as part of my participation in a blog tour with Audiobookworm Promotions. The tour is being sponsored by Andy Zach. The gifting of this audiobook did not affect my opinion of it.

[Billie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zombies charge first, ask questions later.
Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them. If Diane gets overwhelmed her lovely zombie bodyguards and romantic zombie husband come to the rescue.
Out of the blue, new foes appear. Or are they friends? Or both? The frenemies neutralize zombies and orchestrate world peace. They disrupt the economy and produce fabulous wealth. Even the greatest criminals and governments can't stop them from dominating the world.
Can humanity afford the price of peace? All must surrender freedom to a not-so-benign dictatorship. Diane and the paranormal privateers must do the unthinkable to save humanity. But is it enough?
In an explosive and unconventional ending to Andy Zach's Life After Life Chronicles, you will learn what happens when the paranormal privateers meet the world's greatest fear. And you will laugh all the way.

What a brilliant conclusion to this fabulous set of books!
I have laughed so much reading these it is unbelievable.
Never would have I have thought out this iidea in a million years!!
Most definitely I have to say this is the funniest take on zombies I have ever read.
Such a fabulous well written plot that has kept engaged and entertained throughout.
Wonderful well thought out characters with vivid world building which just enhances it all.
I can't reccommend this highly enough!!!
Grab a copy and get reading as you are missing out by not!

I read a complimentary advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whew! Lots of stories within stories with a wink of incredulity as we read along the pages. Tongue-in-cheek adventures, modern day villains', and zombies; wait, are they still zombies or not? Yep, we have that zombie virus run amok with various creations to transform them back and forth. How much of a zombie body do you need to regenerate? Gung-ho leader of the group Diane Newby, husband George, are charging on fighting crime with the discreet eye of the government as their silent partners. Somali pirates, Harrod's London Store with real bulls in the china shop, parasitic cyborgs, virus-antivirus, bacteria, and other minute details tangle the story line into a braided rug of conspiracies and innovative solutions. And little do they know, but their arch enemy is among their group. This was a slow read for me because so many things happen that go back into something revealed earlier that I really concentrated to meditate and map out all the subplots that make this a "HOOT "of a read. Andy Zach must keep a storyboard as big as an unabridged encyclopedia! This is a read and reread type of book that will never be loaned out because the reader will want to keep it safely hoarded away for multiple times.

[Rudy Wittmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different tilt on a zombie series

I have read the whole series and enjoyed it. I did not find myself staying g up all night to finish or rushing home to read. That was probably a good thing as then If I had I'd of been cranky and over sleep for work. Never a pretty sight as I am not a morning person anyway. I liked the book for the unusual perspectives and storyline. If I spot about her book from this author O would definitely give it a try.

[Ann Keeran · Rating 5 out of 5]

The undead floating around on a yacht, fighting for the freedom of humanity. Did you know zombie blood is a good thing? A fun look at what the future might have in store for us.

[eiei · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paranormal Privateers, the third book in Andy Zach's The Life After Life Chronicles, continues the hilarious and action-packed adventures of Daniel, the reluctant ghost hunter turned private investigator. Picking up after the chaotic events of "Undead in the West," this installment sees Daniel and his team venturing into the treacherous world of paranormal piracy.

Zach's trademark wit shines through, delivering plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and clever one-liners. The addition of pirate ghosts and sea monsters adds a fun and fresh twist to the series, while the underlying themes of friendship, loyalty, and finding your place in the world continue to resonate.

However, the plot occasionally felt a bit convoluted, with multiple storylines vying for attention. I also missed some of the heartwarming character interactions that were prevalent in the previous books. While the action scenes are thrilling, the emotional depth felt slightly lacking at times.

Overall, Paranormal Privateers is an enjoyable addition to the series. It delivers the humor and supernatural shenanigans that fans have come to expect, while introducing exciting new elements. Although it might not be the strongest installment, it's still a fun and entertaining read that will leave you eager for the next adventure in Daniel's quirky afterlife.

[Nemesis Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series is the first I have read of Andy Zach's and I am glad I picked it up! The series continues with lots of action, characters continue to be developed, humor, and the zombies are still not mindless shells ambling around awaiting an axe to the head. Still a refreshing take on zombies as a whole. I look forward to what Andy writes next! Audio Version: Phil Blechman and Raven Perez do a great job with their respective characters and the overall narration.

[Jared · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun story. A little slower than the others but still just as many twists. I'm looking forward to the next book. :)

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series was too easy to binge, I could not stop listening to the audible audiobooks once I started! This author is brilliant, the narrator(s) in all of the Life After Life chronicles books are wonderful, and the storyline was hilarious. At times I shook my head in disbelief and just cracked up at the ridiculousness surrounding this zombie story. My son is 12 and he listened with me at times and enjoyed the humor and different zombie stories as well!

[Brad Secrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun Read. Andy's take on Zombies is fresh, unique, and above all... entertaining. A group of zombies working for the US Government but not employed by the government get up to a lot of mischief taking out Crime Lords, more Crime Lords, and aliens. Who know that Zombies had hobbies like knitting and scrapbooking? The Korean adventure is a highlight of the story.

[Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another amazingly hilarious audiobook from the warped mind of Andy Zach. Extremely entertaining and quite hilarious. Very well done sir.