When Angels Fly

by S. Jackson, A. Raymond

I was fortunate enough to be given this book as a gift, and I am so grateful to my friend for giving me this to read...
it was truly inspiring. I can honestly say that no book that I have read in recent times has had the emotional impact on me that this book has had. I rode right alongside this mother from the first diagnosis of her child's illness, right through to the conclusion. Even before her child's illness, I had to keep asking myself; are there really parents out there who treat their children as horrifically as this woman's mother and her family had treated her? She went from an abused child, to a loveless marriage filled with physical, mental and sexual abuse, to losing her first child to a stillborn birth and then finally reaping the rewards with two beautiful young boys. Life was finally looking up for her before little Eli was struck down with cancer. We follow his journey, step by step as the young mother attempts to keep her sanity, split her time between one child in the hospital and one two hundred and fifty miles away. You can really feel her anguish and pain in every page. All the while, the very people who should have been helping to
ease her burden; her mother, her siblings and her soon to be ex-husband were so busy plotting and planning on how they could benefit from this turn of events, she was left to struggle along with support only from some special friends. This book is a harrowing read, make no mistake, but it is also incredibly rewarding. To anyone who has ever complained about how hard their life is - I say; read "When Angels Fly." To anyone who has ever said their l
ife sucked - I say; read "When Angels Fly." When you have seen the courage, the fortitude and the immense challenges that this woman and her beautiful son faced you can't help but be uplifted and reminded just how much we all have to be grateful for. This book reveals our indomitable human spirit in such a powerful and uplifting way. The book is in a large part a daily journal of Eli's time in hospital but I totally understand the need the author
felt to document every day - every day with her son was so very precious. This book had a powerful impact on me as a reader. I was truly moved by and genuinely felt everything this poor woman had to endure... mostly alone. There was no way I could not give this book five stars. The memories of Sarah, Noah and Eli will live in my memory well after I've consigned this book to the "read" shelf. I feel privileged to have shared Sarah's harrowing
journey. When Angels Fly does exactly what it sets out to do I believe - it reminds us that "There but for the grace of God, go I." I recommend this book to all.... it will make you cry, but it will also uplift you. Well done. Grant Leishman, Author, The Second Coming

Genres: Memoir

392 pages, Hardcover

First published May 5, 2015

Reviews

[Leonard Tillerman · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is no doubt that life is full of trials and hardships.  Throughout their existence, each individual will face their own obstacles and troubles.  Nobody is immune to this as it is a natural and unfortunate part of life.  Nevertheless, the degree of suffering- and how they react to it- will vary from person to person.  They may give up completely on life and waste away... or in some cases do the complete opposite.  Rising above their struggles to embrace the good they can find.  This is certainly not an easy thing to do!  In their book When Angels Fly, authors S. Jackson and A. Raymond present a first-hand account of such a scenario.  A truly inspirational read which explores the depth of a mother's love amidst unbearable circumstances.

Essentially, When Angels Fly is a book which recounts the author's real-life experiences through a series of connected journal entries.  It is presented as a Memoir and follows the life of the main character, Sarah.  She is a young woman who has lived through a life of horrendous physical and mental abuse at the hands of her tyrannical mother and violent first husband.  Neither show her any love, and instead shower her with hatred and abuse.  The odds seem to be stacked against Sarah as she keeps getting hit over and over again by life's unrelenting barrage.  Things look as if they are going to turn a corner when Sarah's dream of becoming pregnant with a little one of her own eventually comes true.  However, life once again takes an agonizing turn as the baby is stillborn.  It makes you wonder how much one person can endure... something we are soon to find out.  Not too long after this event, Sarah does manage to give birth to two sons and takes this as the push needed to escape her vile husband and thus provide a loving home for her boys.  Nonetheless, as becomes the theme, life does not let her off the hook.  Her youngest son Eli, becomes extremely ill with cancer at just 5 years old.  The remainder of the book deals with how Sarah meticulously cares for young Eli while at the same time continuing to juggle these responsibilities while showing her love for her other son Noah.  All of this happens amidst a backdrop of continual harassment and abuse from her ex-husband, mother and certain family members.

Mark my words... this is a powerful book!  I often had to read it through blurred vision as my own tears stained the pages.  It will suck your emotions out from your inner core in a way you would not expect.  At various times I felt joy, hope, anger and grief with the passing of only a few pages.  This is what exceptionally well-written books will do.  I am not always a big fan of a journal or diary entry approach, but it absolutely works in this book.  In fact, it is a required element for the Memoir to succeed.  From the child abuse recollections to the daily heartbreaking care for Eli.  It was all very authentic and genuine.  It allows the reader to gain access to the author's innermost thoughts and feelings.  This ensures that we are able to understand and appreciate how someone could experience such hardship and grief... yet still be able to appreciate the positive and beauty of life.  To find new love amongst the ruins and appreciate what she has.  To remember those who are left behind, such as young Noah, and not curl up into a ball hoping to waste away.  To rise above life's cruel blow in such a manner that it is not only remarkable, but truly inspirational.

All in all I found this to be an exceptionally well-written book.  Nevertheless, it can be quite difficult to read at times due to the subject matter.  It will absolutely tug at your heartstrings and emotions.  There is quite a bit of intricate daily details which are given in the book as well.  In my opinion this is a necessary requirement for this Memoir as it provides the details and background which are needed to become fully engaged and engrossed in the writing.  While there is a lot of grief in this book, in the end it is truly all about a mother's unrelenting love.

I would highly recommend this work to all readers seeking a motivational and inspirational lift.  It has the unique ability to put everything in perspective.

5 out of 5 Heartbreaking yet Inspirational Stars for this one!   *****

[Martha Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was a thorny agonizing issue of abusive and alcoholic husband that was worthless a child that had cancer broke my heart how he suffered so much he was a fighter so strong to the very end. To make matters worse, Mary had a mean, spiteful mother I could relate to this story losing my own son this story tells the grieving process the five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and how to live without them I’m crying writing this Review it’s tough Mary did an amazing job with her sons I want to hug her so tightly I recommend this book to everyone to understand that life gives us challenges, and loss and grief it is a part of life still hurts very much. Love & Hugs

[Amy Bovaird · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished When Angels Fly by S Jackson earlier today. It took me some time to get my thoughts together as the story of her young son’s journey with a rare cancer was heart-wrenching. The author’s use of her diaries gives the experience an immediacy that transcends time though it actually occurred 30 years ago in 1990.
The first two chapters provide the context for the author’s state of mind as she begins a solo journey with her sons, aged 4 and 5, having recently separated from her abusive husband. Her youngest son’s challenging journey begins with sinusitis and having to put tubes in his ears. Later, when it is discovered, he has rare cancer, the reader is thrust into the author’s world of hospital life, coping with the emotional and physical pain of helping her son go through chemo and radiation.
Though much of the memoir focuses on the shared journey of a mother and son (Ely) as they try to beat cancer, it also shows the emotional toll of the forced separation from the other son (Noah) as the author strives to stay closely connected with him and keep him in a safe living situation. Protection, love, faith and fear are strong elements in this story.
So glad the author sets up a good support system to help her cope emotionally as she was intimately involved in the hospital regimen of treatment for Ely, who tries to survive both the tumor and the treatment.
This story is written with grit, resolve, and fierce mother’s love. It’s about trying to control life’s variables in the best way one can. It really touched me as it has so many other readers. Be warned: you’ll need tissues!

[Grant Leishman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just finished reading When Angels Fly by S Stevens and A Raymond.

I can honestly say that no book that I have read in recent times has had the emotional impact on me that this book has had. I rode right alongside this mother from the first diagnosis of her child's illness, right through to the conclusion. Even before her child's illness, I had to keep asking myself; are there really parents out there who treat their children as horrifically as this woman's mother and her family had treated her?

She went from an abused child, to a loveless marriage filled with physical, mental and sexual abuse, to losing her first child to a stillborn birth and then finally reaping the rewards with two beautiful young boys. Life was finally looking up for her before little Eli was struck down with cancer. We follow his journey, step by step as the young mother attempts to keep her sanity. split her time between one child in hospital and one 250 miles away. You can really feel her anguish and pain in every page. All the while, the very people who should have been helping to ease her burden; her mother, her siblings and her soon to be ex-husband were so busy plotting and planning on how they could benefit from this turn of events, she was left to struggle along with support only from some special friends.

This book is a harrowing read, make no mistake, but it is also incredibly rewarding. To anyone who has ever complained about how hard their life is - I say; read "When Angels Fly". To anyone who has ever said their life sucked - I say; read "When Angels Fly". When you have seen the courage, the fortitude and the immense challenges that this woman and her beautiful son faced you can't help but be uplifted and reminded just how much we all have to be grateful for.

It would be trite to criticize editorial issues in a book that reveals our indomitable human spirit in such a powerful and uplifting way. The book is in a large part a daily journal of Eli's time in hospital and as such became at times repetitive, but I totally understand the need she felt to document every day - every day with her son was so very precious. The writing style was at times slightly hard to read, but nothing can take away from the powerful impact it had on me as a reader. I was truly moved by and genuinely felt everything this poor woman had to endure...mostly alone. Any other book that had these editorial issues would have only garnered four stars from me, but there's no way I could not give this five stars.

The memories of Sarah, Noah and Eli will live in my memory well after I've consigned this book to the "read" shelf. I feel privileged to have shared Sarah's harrowing journey. When Angels Fly does exactly what it sets out to do I believe - it reminds us that "There but for the grace of God, go I".

I recommend this book to all....it will make you cry, but it will also uplift you. Well done.

[Cynthia Austin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tragic tale of a young mother who has suffered way too much in her life. Growing up in an abusive household, she escaped the wrath of her mother only to be victimized by her husband. Suffering the loss of her unborn child, she had two more sons, one of which passed away at age 5 from cancer.

It is extremely hard for me to rate this book due to a number of factors; First, you have a heartbreaking tale of a mother losing her child to a slow, agonizing sickness. If I give her anything less than 5 stars after baring her soul, I’d be viewed as a monster. However, the plot is just one part of the review and I must remove my invested emotions from this book and focus on the writing as well.

I felt like I was reading a 24 year old's diary. Because, I’m pretty sure I was. Thoughts were garbled, and the timeline of events were difficult to follow because the author would often times get sidetracked and add a huge spoiler in the middle of the book. For example, Eli was still in the initial stages of his diagnosis. The doctors had found a tumor but hadn’t tested it to confirm if it was cancerous, but then the author goes on about her mother recording conversations without peoples consent and that her five year old son died of cancer and she couldn’t get her hands on the recording until her mother’s death in 2011. Okay…way to toss in the ultimate spoiler alert.

Another good example is this quote, “I never thought that my role model would be a lifeless doll, and not my own mother. Henry was a violent husband.” The author is reflecting on her childhood and how a doll was her role model rather than her mother, then suddenly she mentions that her husband is violent. Talk about bad sentence placement. Who are we talking about here? Henry or her mother?

So, like I said; this story is very hard to rate and while I feel the story is in dire need of an editor to transition it from a journal to a book, the story itself is engaging, heartbreaking and addictive so I’ll give it a solid 4 stars.

[Brenda Mohammed · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I met this beautiful author at the Readers Favorite Book Awards 2018 in Miami, I could not imagine that the book she wrote and for which she won an award, contained so much heartbreak and suffering.
The author wrote this book under pen names S. Jackson and A. Raymond.
She suffered abuse from her mother at a young age and her only wish as any other young woman was to have a loving husband and beautiful children.
Sad to say, her husband turned out to be not the man she dreamed of and the cycle of abuse continued.
Her first born son died in childbirth and that broke her heart.
She was blessed with two more sons but the youngest suffered from a fatal disease, Cancer.
It was heart-wrenching to read that he died of complete organ failure due to chemotherapy.
The unimaginable trials and suffering the author faced were many and brought tears to my eyes throughout the book.
Her strong faith and love for her sons helped her to survive her ordeals.
Her story has powerful lessons for all women.
I recommend this book to both men and women.

[Stephanie Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was, of course, difficult. Not to read...just to finish, knowing how it would ultimately end. I'm so glad I read it, though, and I thank Ms. Jackson for having the courage to share her story. It is when we read such tales we are reminded of some important truths. First and foremost, it reminds us that life does not happen in a vacuum. You can have a significant event in your life - a wedding, a birth, a serious injury/illness or - regrettably - a death - but that doesn't mean the rest of your life is put on hold so you can either bask in or contend with that event, uninterrupted. You may be stuck in a dysfunctional marriage throughout your life event. You may have a job you're trying to keep, children you're trying to raise, meals you're trying to make, bills you're trying to pay, a house you're trying to keep reasonably clean. It is all this other "stuff" happening when you're preoccupied with your big life event that can ultimately throw you over the edge. Well, this woman had much more than her fair share of cruddy "stuff" to contend with while also grappling with the devastating diagnosis and treatment of her son's cancer - from "big ticket items" like a previous tragic loss, as well as an abusive parent AND an abusive husband, to the somewhat less "dramatic", but still significant challenges, like a long commute to the hospital where her son required very lengthy stays (translating to, among other problems and complications, prolonged absences from her other son). One has to remember that when they see someone struggling to come to terms with a [negative] life event, when maybe they shared a similar event of their own or know someone else who has, and seemed to recover "faster" or "easier", that there are many "side" circumstances that translate to significantly different experiences. If you lose a child but you have a supportive family helping you through it, that's an ENTIRELY different situation than losing a child and having family member(s) sabotaging and knocking you down at every opportunity. Maybe even more importantly, if you lose a child under such extreme circumstances, you can't judge YOURSELF against others who also suffered a tragic loss but had the love and support you so desperately could have used. Aside from being thankful for the life lessons I was reminded of and taught throughout these pages, I was simply honored to share in the journey. There were definitely sections that were hard to get through, but I couldn't help but thinking, "Oh yeah? Just think how hard it was for Eli to endure this or for Sarah to get through that!" I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but I felt I was given the opportunity to celebrate the strength and endurance of this woman and her children. It was a final, beautiful gift this mom gave her son to share with the world his story of incredible grit, wisdom beyond his years, and beautiful soul. Thank you, again, for the honor of sharing just a bit of your journey.

[Lucinda Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

IT TEARS YOU APART
I downloaded this book because I saw it had won several awards, and I’m not surprised. Just about any reader who thinks they have had a tough time in life had better think again. Sarah had everything thrown at her, a mother who was poisonous to say the least, who then teamed up with her daughter’s abusive husband and neither of them gave her a moment’s peace as she sat by the bedside of her five year old son who was dying of cancer. Their behaviour was cruel, unfeeling and unforgivable. How Sarah coped is a testimony to the strength an individual can summon up in times of crisis – and this crisis lasted for seven months. Written in the form of a journal, we follow the progress of Eli as he lies in hospital. I didn’t understand some of the medical terms, but enough to chart how he started to improve then had yet another setback. The results of the autopsy were devastating. I highly recommend this book, it will make you count your blessings and realize that there are people out there who are brave beyond belief. S Jackson has my total admiration, a woman of courage and compassion and strength.

[P.S. Winn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of Sarah and those who touched her life in good ways and bad. The story is told mostly through the recollections that were written down in a type of diary, so it is a day by day account of life and loss. Sarah has an abusive family and then when she leaves to get married it is to an abusive husband. After losing her first child before birth, she is blessed with two boys, sadly one is extremely sick. This is the story of what happens to Eli and how it effects his mother, his brother Noah and even the abusive dead and the rest of the dysfunctional family. Interesting read that may tear at a few heart strings.

[Mary Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touching, harrowing, Christian, abuse, fear, faith, love, childhood cancer, and more is this drama memoir. Touching tread, emotional, and a must read.

[Jeff Dawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Lord, What a story. Not this is completely different in that it’s S. Jackson’s notes on the care her son Eli received during his fight with cancer.
This is a tough read because she puts everything on the line from her hateful mother, Ethel to her abusive Husband Henry Theses two would have done well as guards at a concentration camp in Nazi Germany for they care only for themselves and relish in beating others down.
The farther I moved into the story, the bleaker it became. She loses her first child Joshua as a stillborn and is crushed. Then she has Noah and Eli and hopes her husband will pull his head out and stop being a drunk and become a real father. Well, life isn’t a fairy tale is it?
Doctors are not infallible and you’ll find that out when a radiologist and primary care Dr don’t see the fist sized mass in Eli’s skull. I’m with here when she says, “How did they miss that?” Would it have made a difference? We’ll never know.
As I approached the 75% mark, all I could think is “Enough is enough Let Eli go.” But then I wasn’t in the situation and I cannot fathom having to make that decision. Personally, I’ve lost four dear people to cancer since 1990, my partner, father, fiancé and good friend. But not a child. Was I being selfish in waning the treatments to stop so Eli could have some peace and rest for he mentioned it few times, “He was ready to go.” How does a parent react to that statement? Yes, we love our children and don’t want to see the struggle or in pain, but sometimes we just can’t let go.
Folks, this is a great story. Yes, it’s long and there is a lot of repetition when it comes Eli’s treatments and the crap Jackson has to put up with, but it is well worth your time.
I do hope she has finally found peace and happiness with her new husband, Matt. If any woman ever needed a fresh start, it’s her.
I only came across seven grammatical issues, but they do not detract from this wonderful story.
A glowing five stars

[M.A. Quigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir isn’t for the faint-hearted. From the onset, Mary is married and falls pregnant but her baby, Joshua, is (spoiler alert) strangled by the umbilical cord. Shortly after Mary is pregnant again and is frightened her baby won’t be alive and can’t wait to hear it cry. Sadly, five-year-old Eli has cancer and the reader is given a blow-by-blow description that reads like a diary of her caring for her terminally ill son and not being available for her other son, Noah, who is left with a carer, Ardy. Add to the mix her abusive mother and an alcoholic husband who provide no support. It is a heart-wrenching read and I had to leave it and come back to it because of the intense sadness. The only bright side was Mary had a love interest (Matt) in her life to talk to. Mary is a survivor and an inspiration. A mother who would go to the end of the earth and back again for her sons.

[Joni Martins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review

Basic Details:

Book Title: When Angels Fly
Subtitle:
Author: S Jackson and A Raymond
Genre: memoir
Part of a series? No
Order in series: N/A
Best read after earlier books in series? N/A
Available: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...

Overall score:
I scored this book 5/5
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
Short Summary of the book:
This book tells the story of the life of Sarah, a young woman. Physically and mentally abused by her mother in childhood, the mental abuse from her mother continued during her adult life.
Hoping to escape the abusive home life and dreaming of a loving husband and children, she falls into a loveless marriage with a violent and alcoholic husband.
Life appears to take a turn to the better when Sarah finds herself pregnant with their first child, a son she desperately longs for but is stillborn.
The abuse from her mother and husband continues, and after giving birth to two more sons and being forced to undergo a sterilisation, she finally gathers the strength and courage to leave her husband when he turns his violence towards the boys.
Now life really seems to look more positive. At least, until her youngest son falls ill and another harrowing time starts within her life. With only help from close friends and the difficult situation seen as an opportunity to take away all she loves from her by her husband and family, she struggles and fights to ensure the best lives possible for her sons.
And what a brave little boy Eli was. Even at the age of five he already tried to protect his mother and hung up the phone on his dad when he became abusive. An astounding maturity for a five-year-old, which unfortunately is too often seen by children who suffer with serious illnesses.
What I liked about the book:
I particularly liked how Sarah managed to keep positive throughout the many trials sent her way. She kept going and never gave in. Where many people would be crippled and paralysed by what was thrown in her path, she kept fighting for her sons and her own future.
Even when Eli was terminally ill she did all in her power to give him as normal a life as possible under the circumstances.
The book also made me realise how lucky I have been in life and how much of a doddle it has been in comparison. The trials and tribulations taking place in my own life paled in comparison and it made me realise I should count my blessings rather than complain about some, in comparison minor, things that happened to me.
What I didn’t like about the book:
I enjoyed reading the book, if that is the correct term, and felt pride in this courageous woman. Her pain was palpable, not only in the words, but also in the way she had distanced herself somewhat from the story while writing. It was obvious the scars are still very raw and fresh and the only way she was able to put pen to paper was to approach the book in a near clinical way. This also showed in the many technical/medical terms she used throughout the book. Sarah kept her real emotions closely under wrap and I am certain it would have overpowered her if she hadn’t.
There was nothing I did not like about the book.
My favourite bits in the book:
I loved where Sarah was able to see the happiness in all the little things she could do for her son and how she even found happiness in the darkest of times. The way she was able to show that adversity does not equal never finding happiness will be an inspiration to many others. It was obvious her love for her sons gave her the strength to never give up and keep fighting for their happiness and safety, and to do the very best she could in a nearly impossible situation.
My least favourite bits in the book:
It was impossible to have any good feelings towards the abusive mother, husband and brother. The obviously dysfunctional family Sarah had originated from continued to put hurdles in her way and feelings of ‘get a life’ and ‘do you have no common sense/decency?’ frequently surfaced while reading what they put Sarah and her children through. Hat off to Sarah to keep fighting and in gaining a happy life for her kids in as far as she was able to under extremely difficult circumstances.
Any further books in the series? Any more planned by this author?
I understand this author has written several other books with her author husband. This, however, was a memoir, relating real life trials and tribulations.
What books could this be compared to and why?
This book reminded me of other memoirs, although it is in a league of its own. It is easy to see why it has won several awards.
Recommendation:
In summary, I would recommend this book for the following readers:

Children No
Young Adult Maybe
Adult Yes

If you like memoirs this book could be the book for you. It is a book which will pull on your heartstrings, but is well worth the read. Although it contains many medical terms, these are all explained well and I expect they will not form any problem for readers without medical knowledge.
If you are looking to read a book where the lead character faces many hardships and still comes out a strong individual, this is definitely the place to go.

Well done to the author. It is obvious from how she distanced herself from her emotions her scars still run very deep, are very raw and fresh. And that is only to be expected. No one should have to lose a child. Even when you know they will now be in a better place, you still miss them and it will feel like a part of you was ripped out and a massive, gaping hole has been left behind. Life goes on, but it will never be the same.

I look forward to reading more books by this author.

[Elaine Stock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a poignant, touching memoir of a mother who forever will love not only the child that was taken from her by a horrible illness and its treatments, but of a love for all her children. Sadly and tragically, if her young son's cancer wasn't enough to deal with, she also had the woes and frustrating agony of a mean-spirited mother and an uncooperative and troubling ex-husband. This is a moving testimony of how love shapes people. I highly recommend this for any parent whose child is ill and suffering, as well as any parent or good-souled person who would appreciate a boost in encouragement on interacting with others in a positive light.

[Marcha Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm heartbroken as well as outraged that someone had to have such a horrendous experience as the one chronicled in this story. The strength and maturity the author displayed while going through the heart-rending experience of being there for her five year old son while he battled cancer is truly a testimonial to a mother's love, especially someone who had been abused, but had the fortitude to break that cycle.

It's not like this mom had the support of her family during this trying time. To the contrary, she had an abusive, sociopathic husband and a mother who was to say the least, a psycho bitch from hell, both of whom did everything in their power to make Sarah's life as miserable as possible. Neither cared about the poor child, but simply wanted to cause as much misery as possible. It's amazing to me that the courts failed to stop these horrible individuals from harassing this poor woman as well as a child who was gravely ill. It really calls into question both the parental rights of sperm donors as well as grandparents who don't deserve the time of day, much less inclusion in their grandchildren's lives. With all the documented abuse, it's outrageous the courts didn't protect them. Her abusive husband, whom she was trying to divorce, had over 20 DUIs, yet he was allowed to have access to her and the children! Why wasn't this worthless SOB in jail????

And then there is the medical side of this nightmare. First of all, incompetent doctors failed to diagnose the illness in the early stages, when perhaps it could have been treated successfully. Then when the poor little guy was hospitalized, it was amazing how many mistakes were made, or could have been, had his mother not been there, keeping an eye on everything.

What follows is technically a spoiler, but all you have to do is ponder the title or look at the cover to know that this story does not end well. In fact, the final mistake that ultimately cost the child's life was due to a bad decision by a therapist that was carried out in spite of the mother's protests. The autopsy showed no cancer remained in his little body, his death ultimately caused by the treatments he'd received. What's the matter with these people who can inflict poisonous therapies on innocent children to the point of death and call it healthcare? Most of it is little more than experimentation, and certainly no better than some of the things the Nazis did during WWII. Okay, this story took place in the 90s and some things have improved, but not much.

While many people in the healthcare industry are caring and competent, and they do save lives, too often patients are seen as no more than another piece of meat or a cash cow. To be fair, I'll admit that I'd probably be dead today except for having had cancer surgery twice in 1993 and 2008 and a stiff round of antibiotics for bacterial pneumonia in November 2017. Nonetheless, I've had enough negative experiences myself with the medical profession that I am for the most part skeptical and wary when that prescription pad comes out or chemo is mentioned. It's no secret that healthcare in the USA is not about making people well, but making money, particularly for Big Pharma, who virtually runs the FDA. Other cures exist for cancer--not just one, but many--which are suppressed by the powers that be because they are natural and can't be patented. Seriously. What's wrong with this picture?

When I think of that poor, innocent child going through medical procedures that amounted to legalized torture, to say nothing of his mother having to witness it, I don't know whether to cry or scream. The casual attitude toward x-rays and CT scans with no regard to the harm caused by exposing a child to repeated radiation is appalling. I've been through a round of chemo and it was pure hell. When I think of a child being subjected to that, plus the radiation treatments, my heart aches, especially when it's possible that other, gentler treatments exist, yet are illegal because they could threaten the income of the pharmaceutical industry. In what universe is that morally okay?

And then there's the matter that so many children from the surrounding area had come down with cancer. What was going on in the environment for that to happen? Why are so many children coming down with cancer everywhere these days? This reminds me of the fight Erin Brockovich took on against Pacific Gas and Electric, who were polluting the water supply hexavalent chromium and caused a similar outbreak of cancer in a small California town decades ago. And then there's the matter of our insecticide and herbicide tainted food supply to say nothing of matters such as Monsanto, GMOs, and so forth, all jeopardizing our health, while the government tells us it's okay.

There is something fundamentally wrong with a society that allows such things to happen. The fact that this mother was able to get through this heartbreaking experience without being bitter toward those who failed her so miserably shows what a good and caring person she is. I am furious that so many let her down, from the court system to the medical profession, and even the government, and that her story, decades later, is not that unique. While her love and dedication to her child is definitely inspiring, a system that exacerbates the pain of such a situation rather than relieve it is nothing short of criminal.

[Joy Goddard · Rating 5 out of 5]

After author Sarah Jackson draws back the curtain of her life in When Angels Fly, one can’t help but reach for the Kleenex box. To say that her life was hard would be a gross understatement. When enraged, her mother would drag her by the hair through the house, scream and curse at her in front of her friends, or hurl insults to shame her, among other cruelties. Then to escape her mother, she married a man who was an abusive alcoholic. It was hard not to cry while reading that her husband beat her when she was pregnant, targeting her face instead of her stomach as if he were doing her a favour.
Enough already! Yet there was more. A stillbirth and then doctors diagnosed Jackson’s four-year-old son with a rare cancer. In the bulk of this memoir, Jackson takes the reader through the lengthy hospital stay as she watches her son slip away. She’s torn between helping her sick son while lifting the spirits of her healthy son, who is back home, which is over two hundred miles away. And during this long painful time, she faces her mother’s and now ex-husband’s outrageous behaviours while navigating the trials of her son’s medical treatment.
What Jackson endured would break most people—but it doesn't break her. She was and is a testament to a mother’s indomitable strength and love. Despite her horrendous heartache, she found the small moments to celebrate. When her son’s right eye was compromised while he was fighting the tumor, she wrote in her journal about the “sparkle in his left eye.” She was grateful for the laughter when her sick son delights in spraying doctors, nurses and others with his water gun. She treasured the happy moments he had when talking to his brother on the phone. “The key to happiness really was gratitude. As I bent my head in prayer and whispered a prayer, I realized how true it was.” Her faith and devotion were an inspiration.
The reader will find it hard not to fall in love with her sick child, who, to protect his mother from worrying, didn’t tell her he was hurting when “I knew damn well he had to be,” she said.
When Angels Fly by S. Jackson and A. Raymond is a book you’ll long remember after reading the final pages.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a tragic and heartbreaking story. Not only did the author have to endure watching her young son go through so much pain and suffering with his cancer, but she had to put up with abusive relatives while doing this. Her mother and husband being the prime culprits.

Even so, I had a difficult time reading this book. The daily, diary-style of writing didn't make me emotionally involved with the characters. I understand its importance to the story, keeping a record of everything that happened so much of it could be used against the husband in the divorce and custody case, but the repetitiveness of it left me feeling cold. That's not to say that others couldn't and haven't enjoyed this form of writing.

The story itself is worth reading to understand that help is available, and peace can be obtained.

[Julie Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book after the author appeared on the We Love Memoirs group, Spotlight on Sunday. The story is a very moving account of the authors life and most importantly the story tells of her son Eli who becomes sick with cancer and subsequently dies. The book is in four parts with the third part being told from her diary recounting the months of Eli's illness and his passing away. The first two parts of the book set the scene and show how Sarah's life has been hard with an abusive mother throughout her childhood and then marrying a husband who is also abusive. As I read I felt very much that the mother was a psychopathic narcissist at best and the husband was an abusive alcoholic who had no feeling for his family and his only love being the bottle. Sarah has a very hard road which many of us would not survive I am sure. Her faith though does give her solace and even though it wavered at times in the end does help her through. I enjoyed reading the book but not so much the diary format although this was a way of telling the story day by day. I admired Sarah's love and devotion to her children and her loving heart comes through. How she managed to cope with the mother's ongoing abuse through her son's illness is beyond belief. I will refrain from saying too much more as don't want to give more away as there are many other aspects to this heartfelt story.

[J.L. Clayton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sad.

This is a story about Mary's life and her child. It's truly sad, I don't know what I would do if I lost my daughter. I am not a big fan on nonfiction story's, but when I was told about this book I decided to give it a read. I know it must have been hard writing down what bad things have happened in her life. I could never do that. Heads up: this book reads like a journal.

[Jeannie Sharpe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Best Book

This is a great book that tells about the life of a mother who loves and continuously loves no matter the cost. He son won his battle. ❤️

[Mary Deal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth About Caring for a Child with Cancer

When Angels Fly, by S. Jackson and A. Raymond, is probably the most difficult book I have ever read. It left me heartbroken. I had great difficulty getting through to the end. I had to read it in small segments and stop to digest. This is one read I will never forget.

When Angels Fly is a true life telling of a devoted, loving, and committed mother, Sarah, working alongside the hospital nurses and doctors, trying to heal her five-year-old son, Eli, of cancer. Eli is a brave child seeming more advanced than more children of that age. He endured a personal hell and still teased the doctors and hospital staff. This story reminds me of those pictures you see posted of children fighting cancer, their sweet heads absent of hair, a result of chemotherapy. They smile for the photo, but this book tells what goes on behind the scenes of those treatments these children endure. The intricate telling of this mother’s trials, devotion, and heartache is a reminder of what other parents endure in treatment centers like St. Jude and Ronald McDonald House. If not for facilities such as these, the children would suffer the horrors of a painful early death.

Eli’s mother has more to deal with; her own mother teaming up with Henry, Eli’s estranged father, a drunkard and bitter and hateful person. One thing I did not understand was why this mom thought she could heal the marriage by having children. Of course, this life story takes place some years back. Today, more and more women would leave an abusive situation. There must have been other circumstances that caused her to remain with her husband.

What breaks my heart is that we read about Eli being sick with cancers and other ailments, many of which are brought about by reactions to the treatments, which was unavoidable. Then, all the while we see him slipping away as the mother is still hoping for a miracle.

Eli’s mother is incredibly strong and determined not to stop trying to save her son no matter what it takes from her. One thing I would like to have seen was for Eli’s father to come to his senses and contribute something toward his son’s care. This book has opened my mind and heart, not only for Eli, but for all children who bravely suffer so horribly, and what it takes to be a parent who must endure.

[Lindsay Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this memoir down.

Direct and sincere, this memoir of loss, and love and faith speaks with great power. From the vivid account of Sarah's stark childhood, where her mother used food as a weapon, and her parent's hostility was shown openly in front of Sarah's friends, the reader watches as she fled her mother's house and tumbled into an early marriage.

This sadly was a difficult relationship with an abusive man who was a drunk, a bully and controlling. Sarah's mother meanwhile reappeared in her life and not in a good way.

When Sarah becomes pregnant she is hopeful for her unborn child and her life. However she loses her son and with little support from her mother and none from her husband she almost loses her faith.

Sarah battles on and becomes pregnant again. This time she carries to term and is delivered of a healthy son, Noah. Then Sarah falls pregnant again. She gives birth to another beautiful boy, Eli.

Sarah took the brave decision to leave and divorce her abusive, dangerous husband. With faith she made it through and continued with her aim to study nursing. Again tragedy struck as Eli fell ill and the doctors bickered over a possible diognosis. Sarah's mother continued to be a diverse and unhelpful, abusing both Sarah and Sarah's boys. Even when Eli was very sick in hospital, Sarah's mother went out of her way to make trouble.

Sarah's good friends Anna and Matt provided much needed support, especially as her mother and ex were bullies, actively undermining her at every turn. Their sheer spite is horrible.

Sarah shows the sheer terror and unrelenting tension of being a parent to a very sick child. What shines through in her account is her great love and care for both her sons. Also her growing relationship with Matt, who she calls her rock, is a bright star in the memoir. Throughout, the diary style makes the account of what happens very immediate - painfully so, at times.

When Eli is lost it is terrible.

Slowly, Sarah begins to move forward, aided by her faith and by her love for Matt. When she marries Matt, she does so for love.

The memoir ends on that inspiring note.

[Lisette Brodey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful testament to a mother’s enduring love for her son, through the most unimaginable and heartbreaking circumstances.

I read this book over many days. There is a lot to digest on many levels.

Cancer is a brutal beast. It is gut-wrenching when an adult is diagnosed, but to be diagnosed at four, before his life had barely begun, is something impossible to understand.

The author, a registered nurse, was by her son’s side every step of the way. This book is a combination of many things: it is a woman’s journal (with many medical specifics), the story of a little boy (who loved water guns) and tried so very hard to carry on, the story of a woman fighting the imminent death of her son only to have an abusive husband (and mother) complicating and twisting her pain. It is also the author’s story of a blossoming love with a good man, who was steadfastly by her side, counteracting the sorrows, grief, and abuse as well as any mortal can.

The author mentions that after her son’s death, she was told by many that she should be “over it by now.” That hit me hard, as this is something I have not only personally dealt with, but seen many grieving human beings slimed with the same inappropriate and horrific commentary. We all have a right to feel what we feel and to grieve as we do. In reading this book, I hope that having kept a daily journal about this sad transition from life to Heaven, that some comfort is given.

This was not an easy book to read, but an important one. I believe each reader will take from it what they most need to know. A brave and important book.

[Ivy Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh. This is not that book.
This book will make you cry.
For it chronicles the pain, the hardship of a mother whose five year old son is ready to go to Heaven.
The two of them fight for survival. They try every possible treatment and never give up. But sometimes love isn't enough to hold onto the ones we love.
When a child is critically ill his mother needs her family. She needs their unconditional love and support
but all Author S Jackson gets is an abusive husband and mother who try to torture her and hamper all her efforts at every step.
But she takes them in her stride because her sons are her only focus.
If you ever doubt the power of a mother, the resilience of a mother... this is THE book to read .
For a mother there is no mountain so high that she won't be ready to climb.
No stone she will leave unturned to save her child .
But yet when that moment comes.
The moment when she has to decide between allowing her son to continue to undergo excruciating pain, just so he can live another day or let him go peacefully. How does she decide?
This book will break you heart. After reading this book your endless squabbles with your children about mundane things will seem immaterial. All you will want to do is give them a hug.
So do that. And hold on to that love.
Because in the end love, hope, and kindness is all that matters.

[Larry Landgraf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can you imagine a five-year-old boy telling his mother ‘I want to go to Heaven’? I cannot. For someone this young to hurt so much cannot be envisioned by someone who has not gone through it. Sarah felt the pain of the loss of a child not once, but twice in When Angels Fly. For someone to lose a child I’m told is the worst feeling you can have. No one should outlive their kids, but this happens every day for far too many people.

Amidst the unthinkable in When Angels Fly, there is an interwoven story of a husband who you will want to strangle with your bare hands. Then there is Sarah’s mother who has never had love for her daughter. Sarah is forced to be separated from her other young son while she cares for Eli in the hospital who struggles with cancer. Fortunately, she has a dear friend in Addy to care for Noah while she is away to the dismay of her mother and husband. Sarah’s love for the well-being of her kids is undeniable.

When Angels Fly is difficult to read because of cancer but is a story all should read. You will breathe a little fresh air here and there. Death is only one aspect of the story. It is a story of survival. It is a story of a mother’s love. It is a story of persistence and perseverance. It is a story of triumph. I recommend this story highly. It will open your eyes and you will be glad you read it. Sarah is what a mother should be.

[J. Nordstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most moving memoirs I have ever read!!! It is a must-read, for parents who have children whom they have cared for when ill or for anyone who has cared for another person during illness. The memoir is not for the feint of heart as this memoir contains vivid, indeed brilliant, descriptions of both the pain and suffering the mother goes through caring for her young boy who is suffering from cancer and the pain and suffering the 5 yr old child Eli experiences through this long ordeal. The memoir is also ably informed by a writer who has a medical background. If childhood cancer is not enough to trigger an avalanche of tears, the mother, who is an angel herself by the way, is abused by two devils, all during the course of her caring for her very ill son. I wept profusely when reading about the last few weeks of Eli's life, the boy who, enduring such suffering, said he wanted to go to heaven. I also was most impressed with the extraordinarily deep maternal love that this "Angel" of a mother showed her sick son throughout the period of his illness--a maternal love that could not be shaken, even an iota, under severe abuse she received. The memoir shows Eli's mother to possess an uncommonly kind and loving heart, leading me to say the mother-author, S. Jackson, is an angel on earth. There is a bright spot in this memoir! 5-star recommended.

[Tammy Horvath · Rating 5 out of 5]

Does God ever give you more than you can handle?

Many people believe 1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God won’t give you more than you can handle. In When Angels Fly, Sarah grew up with a mentally and physically abusive mother and husband. Then she lost Joshua to a miscarriage, only to give birth to Eli, who loses his battle with cancer.
When Sarah decides to share her story with the world, she listens to a recording of Eli. I know how hard this is because I also lost my son, and to make my memoir accurate, I watched videos of him. It takes unimaginable strength to hear a loved one’s voice after they are gone. Sarah, you are an inspiration.

1 Corinthians 10:13 is often misinterpreted and does NOT say that God won’t give you more than you can handle. But 2 Corinthians 1:8¬–11 says that sometimes we are given more than we can handle so that we can learn to rely on God, who will get us through if we trust Him. To see if Sarah depends on God or her own strength, you need to read When Angels Fly. It was hard to read through my tears, but I kept relentlessly turning page after page to see the outcome. I hope God blesses Sarah immensely for sharing her story with us.

[Wanda Luthman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words are hard to find

It took me a long time to finish this book. I would start and read some and then put it down for awhile. The story is heartbreaking and also very sad. The author takes us step by step through the medical treatment of her son, Eli, ho battles cancer. She is a nurse and knew and understood so much. She took amazing care of him in the hospital and caught numerous mistakes and saved his life multiple times. All while dealing with an abusive soon-to-be ex-husband and having to be away from her other son. Often, as I read, I would think, 'how does this woman stay strong in her faith?' She is an amazing role model of a wonderful Mom. Her love for her boys is evident throughout. I'm so glad she had some good people in her life from a kind boyfriend and a strong friend who kept her other son while she was away with Eli. A definite 5 star book. Anyone who has gone through something like this will relate but those that haven't will get an inside look into this most difficult world.

[Ju Ephraime · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a heart-wrenching story about a woman who suffered all manner of abuse at the hand of the ones who were supposed to love and care for her. It begins with her mother and continues into adulthood, and a loveless, abusive marriage. The one good thing that came out of that union was her two young sons, (three, counting the one she lost at birth), but fate was not done with her. She suffered untold anguish when her young son was diagnosed with cancer. This accounting is told from the daily documenting of his suffering while he undergoes the brutal treatments and tests for his condition. It also documented his small pleasures, i.e., being able to eat his favorite cereal. I was rooting for Eli the entire time.

I'm happy to see after it's all said and done, she was able to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and reclaim her life to find happiness and love again.
If you enjoy reading memoirs, then, When Angels Fly, is a definite must read.

[Sherry Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Sarah Jackson shares the story of her five-year-old son's battle with cancer. Chronicled in journal form, it begins on January 10, 1990 and goes until October 18, 1990. In addition to caring for her sick child, Sarah had to deal with an abusive mother and alcoholic wife-beater husband.

Although heart-wrenching, the story is an inspiration that shows courage in the face of adversity and the strength of a mother's love. Perhaps others who have gone through a similar situation will find comfort in knowing they aren't alone. Those currently experience the nightmare of having a terminally ill child might also gain insights into some of the medical procedures, terminology, and symptoms associated with the various illnesses the young boy had. Recommended for anyone who has had a terminally ill child and those who enjoy memoirs.