Raising Unicorns: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful - and Magical! - Unicorn Farm

by Jessica S. Marquis

Welcome to the whimsical and very lucrative world of unicorn farming! This is an industry like no other with potential limited only by your imagination. As a future unicorn farmer, you will experience the wide and unique array of opportunities, challenges, and joys of caring for these majestic creatures.From the IntroductionIn this book, author Jessica S. Marquis provides everything you need to know to make a good living as a unicorn farmer. From choosing the right breed (Purebred; Twinkletoe; Karmic; Gigglerump; Horse with Horn) to picking the unicorn farm dream team (an alchemist; stable hands; groomers; The On-Call Virgin (OCV); lawyers), you are guaranteed to have a magical journey. The only reference of its kind, this book proves you can live in fantasyland--and still make money.

Genres: Humor, Fantasy, Unicorns, Science Fiction Fantasy, Fiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published July 18, 2011

About the author

Jessica S. Marquis is Chief Unicornomicist at Unicornomics unicorn farm and R&D firm, raising and studying unicorns with her colleague Farmer McGlitter. In her free time, she enjoys coloring outside the lines and working with the youth-focused filmmaking/creative-writing nonprofit she helped establish, Sailbear Labs (501c3 pending). Born and raised in Detroit, she is currently living the adventure with her husband in Phoenix.

Reviews

[Jessica Marquis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book. <:-)

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tipps für Verhaltensregeln in der Unicorn-farming Community, kurze Einführung in die verschiedenen Einhorn-Rassen mit ihren jeweiligen Eigenschaften, Darstellung eines typischen Tagesablaufs, linierte Seiten nach jedem Kapitel für eigene Notizen, Jahresplanung im Sinne eines 'Bauernkalenders'..... 

Erwartungsgemäß eine Nonsense-Lektüre zum Blättern, hätte etwas lustiger sein können.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It ran a little on the long side, but it was totally, 100% worth it to make it to the end. The whole thing had me giggle-snorting with each spot of pun and spurt of glittery ridiculousness, and there are many clever turns of phrase that'll have you snickering and make the people sitting around you stare at you. (Don't read this in a hospital waiting room if you don't want people to think you're crazy.) My personal favorite part was the informal name for a herd of unicorns. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get to that part of the book.

I want to be a unicorn farmer now....

[Ringa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very thorough guide on opening one's own unicorn farm. I cannot wait to begin mine, just have to figure out where the unicorn shows are held.

[Jenna Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful and whimsical book. When you are studying your but off in business and investing, this is a great book to take a break with and not feel like you are slaking off. So much fun, and great sketches. A short and easy read. The faster you read the sooner you will get your Unicorn Farm started (unless you fail the test than have fun with your elk)!

[Jennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am now ready to be a purveyor of the finest organic unicorns.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Summer Reading Challenge 2/27
Short and Sweet - "Read a book with less than 100 pages (or a book you can finish in one sitting)"

This book was freaking hilarious! I would rate it 10 stars if I could. What a fun read and so short and sweet. It is technically over 100 pages but it's definitely readable in a day. I would definitely be a good candidate for a unicorn farmer or at least I would totally work for one. Pick this book up if you want a good laugh, it even has illustrations!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ready to start my own unicorn farm now ;)

[Shiloh · Rating 3 out of 5]

It started off strong. I was ready to invest in unicorn farming, but the book slowed and became a little harder to get through, so I am reconsidering my career options.

[Erin J Kahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and enlightening. Will be helpful when I start my unicorn farm upon graduating from college in April.

[I'mogén · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating: 3.5 stars.

This was a fun little book that I picked up on a whim. I'm a simple woman; I see unicorns, I buy. This is one of those times, quite clearly.
We got the coolest tips and tricks on how to start your own business in unicorn farming, what it takes to be a farmer and how to go about it.
This "manual" was so funny in the approach it took to make this feel legit. You could almost hear the witty tone and sarcasm dripping from this book; totally my cup of tea.
It was a really interactive read and almost felt like how I'd imagine those "choose-your-own" stories to feel like. Each chapter included a reader's note section to really get you motivated for your soon-to-be farm.
Just when you think you've reached the end, the joke keeps on going from the unicorn calendar dates to the "resources" used.

Overall, this was a funny little book that has perked up again at this popular time of unicorn and mermaid trends!

Pick it up, give it a go and enjoy! ^^
Gén

[Kalle Wescott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read /Raising Unicorns: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful - and Magical! - Unicorn Farm/, by Jessica Marquis:

https://thissplendidshambles.com/2014...

It was a no-brainer to purchase this book last night when I saw it. After all, I had read /Zombie Apocalypse Preparation: How to Survive in an Undead World/, and that's about to be super-useful. You do know that the pandemic is pre-Zombie-invasion, so that we have enough recently dead bodies for the zombies to feast on, right?

/How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack/ is next on my list, but I've been procrastinating as I don't currently have a garden.

Anyhoo, /Raising Unicorns: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful - and Magical! - Unicorn Farm/ was inspirational. I believe it will prove itself to be equally useful to these others, when I begin raising unicorns myself. As a fan of magic, glitter, and whimsy, I'm all in!

[Letitia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not your typical, short little humorous gift book. This is a deep dive for those truly committed to the bit. The best and most humorous part is the illustrations. But pithy and witty it is not. It takes itself quite seriously and is here specifically for that brand of personality that nerds out on detailed worldbuilding (including un-ironic financial tips for how to be successful raising unicorns). One might worry that unicorn by-products are listed as one asset of your unicorn farm, begging the question how said things are harvested...so maybe don't think TOO deeply about this or about what similar farming methods mean for non mythological creatures. Did I take the quiz? Yes. Of course I took the quiz. I'd be a Que Sera Sera unicorn farmer, doing it mostly for the pleasure of hanging out with unicorns. So yeah.

[R.L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Κριτική στα Ελληνικά πιο κάτω...

I surprised my self by picking this book, starting it and actually reading it in two afternoons.

It's a kind of amusing, tongue-in-cheek type of book, full of imaginative, imaginary infodump and factoids.

It served as a brainless read to pass the time, although some times it was more bizzare and odd than entertaining.

Καμιά φορά με εκπλήσσω. Όχι μόνο επέλεξα το βιβλίο, το άρχισα και το τελείωσα μέσα σε δύο απογεύματα κιόλας!

Είναι κάπως ψυχαγωγικό, πιο πολύ με έναν περίεργο και αλλόκοτο τρόπο παρά ένα αστείο και διασκεδαστικό βιβλίο.

Εντάξει να περάσει η ώρα χωρίς πολλές απαιτήσεις.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very fun approach to business writing. It covers the basics questions one should consider when starting a new business with humor and points to consider that will make you laugh out loud. While it shouldn't be the only book you read before deciding to start a new business, it definitely should be on the list.

[BlackfishGirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

What it says on tin, quite amusing, worth it as a charity shop buy but wouldn't pay full price for it!

[Lenka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wasn't really interested much in farming, until I recieved this book and realized I could have a unicorn farm! Very thought-provoking!

[Dina · Rating 3 out of 5]

En serio, si queréis reír un buen rato, no lo dudéis, los libros sb unicornios son todos tronchantes.

[Just_me · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny little book that looks at unicorn care. My 10 year old brough this book for me and its silly and funny an a great gift.

[Tonks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was bought as a joke gift, surprised at how long they can wring out funnies form a single joke.

[Liv · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Only book you need to read in order to raise healthy, happy unicorns!

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not funny. I kept reading in the hope that it would improve but it never did.

[Valleri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat funny, yet somehow not, this how-to book was more than far-fetched, it was somewhat disappointing.

[Ciara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clever, funny, and well-written. And I think I actually learned a lot about starting and maintaining a business!

[Jliongrrrl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This whole book makes me happy. It’s whimsical and funny. I read chapters of it to my coworkers for story time and we all decided we want to be unicorn farmers!

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent. If the dragon-riding business doesn't work out, good to know unicorns are always a viable option.

[Tonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I might be slightly biased since I know the author and love unicorns, but this is such a fun fantasy take on a farmer's almanac. It's an easy read. It's a fun read. It's a must read.

[Morgan Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The least brutal way to attract a unicorn is with the no-fail virgin. If one is not on your staff, your OCV is not reachable, and no one steps forward to volunteer, then an elephant tranquilizer is the best choice."

I read this book on my plane ride to and during my trip in Scotland (I thought it was a relevant choice being as unicorns are Scotland's national animal). This book was actually surprisingly very well written and I loved it! It made me laugh many times and was very well researched and thought-out. Definitely a fun, light hearted read for anybody looking for something cute and easy.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unicornomics for everyone! A humor based book that asks the reader if they have the business potential (and glitter control stamina) to handle and raise unicorns. Of the book, I enjoyed reading about the various different unicorns, and found a strange affinity for the Gigglerumps breed (those poor misshapen cuties). I found it a bit straining at times though and had to stop due to schoolwork (unicorns don't eat your homework). While very funny, it often pushed too far into the economics side of things even though it deals in fantasy creature profits. I guess I wanted to hear it more as a passion project or hobby. Along with additional fantastical facts to be brought up on the unicorn breeds. The latter part delved more into corporate and competitive dealings (Seriously, the use of a Trojan unicorn?!) I feel it could have pushed the rainbows and glitter, and less talk on business management and grand openings. Overall it's a 50/50 for me when it comes to fantasy vs. business dealings.

[Rena Sherwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is more about the piss out of self-help and "make a million dollars without doing a damn thing" books and conventions then it is about unicorns. And if ever an industry needs the piss taken out of it, it's the self-help industry. But I have a feeling if unicorns could read they would love this book and find it just as funny as I did.

You know -- if unicorns existed, that is.



I can't help wonder how many people think this is a serious book and are diligently following directions.