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Extremes: How to Keep Your Virtues from Becoming Vices
Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? One way the adversary tries to derail our eternal progress is by perverting virtues into vices. Pressing forward is clearly a virtue, but running faster than we have strength doesn't get us to heaven faster — it just burns us out. So, Satan succeeds whether he persuades us to saunter aimlessly or to sprint the marathon of life at a frantic and unsustainable pace. Seeing the dangers of each extreme illustrated by powerful, practical insights, we can identify our own spiritual weaknesses and learn how to find a healthy balance in life.
256 pages, Paperback
First published August 6, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
July 28, 2011
So I *might* have picked up this book because of the towering ice cream cone on the cover. Mmm, ice cream.
Well, turns out the contents were sweet as well. I liked how the author framed his assertion: that at times, in an effort to avoid a sin on one side of the straight and narrow path, Satan tempts us to "overcorrect" ... and we end up adopting an opposing but equally poor mindset. One example might be permissive or overcontrolling parenting (boy, parenting is a hard one to stay balanced on!). We often talk about being "balanced" in our lives, but I hadn't thought about it in quite this way before.
Eaton includes lots of great insights from the scriptures and I loved all the quotes he included. His footnotes are detailed and he gives credit to everyone from Neal A. Maxwell (there's lots of Maxwell quotes!) to his friends, colleagues, and family members (thus making it clear that not all ideas presented are his -- he just organized them). I thought that tone of humility did a lot for the book as a whole. I liked his "voice" and his pacing; this is a well-written book.
Here are a few quotes I wrote down (yes, I found this to be a "write-this-down" kind of book!):
"Opportunities to serve others are often thrust upon us rather than planned in advance; they tend to intrude inconveniently upon our scheduled, hectic lives." -p.49
"When it comes to the most important things in life, President Spencer W. Kimball taught that 'we will move faster if we hurry less.'" -p.83
"When we read the Sermon on the Mount, Christians do not think, 'Too bad I wasn't born with the meekness personality type. Guess I'll never inherit the earth.' Instead, we see the Savior's sermon as a soaring invitation to become things we may not already be." -p.234
I'm glad I read this book -- definitely a "good read."
Well, turns out the contents were sweet as well. I liked how the author framed his assertion: that at times, in an effort to avoid a sin on one side of the straight and narrow path, Satan tempts us to "overcorrect" ... and we end up adopting an opposing but equally poor mindset. One example might be permissive or overcontrolling parenting (boy, parenting is a hard one to stay balanced on!). We often talk about being "balanced" in our lives, but I hadn't thought about it in quite this way before.
Eaton includes lots of great insights from the scriptures and I loved all the quotes he included. His footnotes are detailed and he gives credit to everyone from Neal A. Maxwell (there's lots of Maxwell quotes!) to his friends, colleagues, and family members (thus making it clear that not all ideas presented are his -- he just organized them). I thought that tone of humility did a lot for the book as a whole. I liked his "voice" and his pacing; this is a well-written book.
Here are a few quotes I wrote down (yes, I found this to be a "write-this-down" kind of book!):
"Opportunities to serve others are often thrust upon us rather than planned in advance; they tend to intrude inconveniently upon our scheduled, hectic lives." -p.49
"When it comes to the most important things in life, President Spencer W. Kimball taught that 'we will move faster if we hurry less.'" -p.83
"When we read the Sermon on the Mount, Christians do not think, 'Too bad I wasn't born with the meekness personality type. Guess I'll never inherit the earth.' Instead, we see the Savior's sermon as a soaring invitation to become things we may not already be." -p.234
I'm glad I read this book -- definitely a "good read."
April 12, 2010
Wow! That is all I have to say. Kind of scary as I found myself reading the different extremes of virtues and how I can easily find myself allowing some of those virtues to really become vices. I saw things that my parents and in-laws have done and how I hope to be just a little better.
Believe it or not, there were even a couple of chapters that I found myself needing to do some repenting and plenty of apologizing to some of the people that I love the most. I surely had never taken that outlook on some aspects of life and how others might be handling their own trials.
Was this book perfect, surely not, but it did allow me to reevaluate how I look at things. No one is perfect and no one does things exactly as I think they should be done and that is what makes the world go round. Thank goodness people don't do things exactly as I do them because there would surely be disappointments and no growth for me. I love learning from others and I hope to be better at focusing on my strengths and how they can help those around me. At the same time, I hope to improve myself as I learn from others' strengths to make myself a better person, husband, father, and friend.
Believe it or not, there were even a couple of chapters that I found myself needing to do some repenting and plenty of apologizing to some of the people that I love the most. I surely had never taken that outlook on some aspects of life and how others might be handling their own trials.
Was this book perfect, surely not, but it did allow me to reevaluate how I look at things. No one is perfect and no one does things exactly as I think they should be done and that is what makes the world go round. Thank goodness people don't do things exactly as I do them because there would surely be disappointments and no growth for me. I love learning from others and I hope to be better at focusing on my strengths and how they can help those around me. At the same time, I hope to improve myself as I learn from others' strengths to make myself a better person, husband, father, and friend.
March 23, 2024
Recommended by mom. I read it in 2016, but as I write this entry now in 2024, I cannot actually recall reading it. I suppose I liked it. But it was not memorable.
March 20, 2012
Eaton starts his book off with the analogy of teaching his daughter to drive. He thought it would just be a matter of directing her to turn right here and stop there, but it was more about keeping her going down the center of the road. She had a tendency to over correct and go either way to the right or way to the left. This book discusses just that - how in life we find ourselves going either way to one extreme or the other and teaches common principles for learning how to keep your life going down the center of the road. I loved his little stories to help bring each concept to life, and really enjoyed the way he backed it all up with quotes from prophets and apostles. For me it was not a book to read in a couple of sittings; rather, I took each chapter and savored it for a while before adding the next extreme concept.
January 8, 2012
This book articulates very well my own personal view about the dangers of extremes in ones positions and thinking. He comes at the topic from a gospel perspective, and the book feels like a very long (but good) conference talk.
Some chapters are more well thought out than others. Each chapter has a section at the end called "Striking the Balance" where he gives suggestions on how to NOT take the extreme position on the topic at hand. A few of the book's chapters "Striking" sections were excellent, with plenty of examples and tips. Others were only a few paragraphs long and not helpful.
All in all, a recommended book to help you think differently about relevant gospel topics and see where you fall into some of the extremes.
I also used to home teach the guy! Fun to know an author.
Some chapters are more well thought out than others. Each chapter has a section at the end called "Striking the Balance" where he gives suggestions on how to NOT take the extreme position on the topic at hand. A few of the book's chapters "Striking" sections were excellent, with plenty of examples and tips. Others were only a few paragraphs long and not helpful.
All in all, a recommended book to help you think differently about relevant gospel topics and see where you fall into some of the extremes.
I also used to home teach the guy! Fun to know an author.
January 14, 2009
I really liked this book. It took me awhile to get into it - but I put that more with what was going on in my schedule when I started it. I finally got into it (and finished it) over Christmas vacation, and there is a lot to think about. A few examples of chapter headings: rigid planners and wingers; self-righteous saints and anything-goes relativists; sprinters and saunterers; the fearfully timid and the brashly overbearing.
July 14, 2013
I just got this book for Christmas and so far I am loving it. Br. Eaton teaches here at BYU-Idaho, and Merritt is very good friends with his daughter. Eaton takes the perspective that our virtues can become our vices if our lives or perspectives are out of balance. Truly, as I read, it becomes apparent that true perfection in this life involves in large part balance in our lives. I would highly recommend this book!
August 19, 2009
This book gives extremes of different personality traits and shows how too much of anything can be bad and how we can find a balance in our lives. 'Extremes' is really good because it has something for everyone to learn from, as it covers such a wide spectrum of issues. This book not only teaches but entertains as well. I really enjoyed this book and found it an easy read, as it feels like an old friend talking to you rather than a stearn teacher preaching to you.
October 26, 2011
I bought four copies of this book and gave one copy to each of my adult children to have. So, you can tell how much I liked it. It is a problem when people exaggerate and turn good things like self-reliance into pride, or love into obsession, and so on. Too much of everything is bad and the author shows very good examples, creating in us the awareness that should be there but we don't naturally have. I loved it.
April 24, 2016
Tons of quotes from prophets on this subject-- i really struggle with doing things in wisdom and order ect. . .If you ever worry, this is for you! Heard about this book at a talk at Women's Conference (BYU) a few years ago, wrote down I needed to read it, never bought it, then a year later my parents gave it to me before they left on their mission- without ever knowing!! It helps me so much-- with life and juggling life!
October 15, 2008
Balance! This book was all about finding the balance between extremes in our lives. I often thought of President Hinckley's saying, "do the very best you can" as I read. I did recognize some of my character flaws as I read and I guess that's what's so grand about these kind of books...if we can find small ways to improve our lives then it was worth the read!
June 5, 2012
This book was really motivating. It is a great read for perfectionists like me because it helped me to better understand how working your hardest doesn't always mean that you are doing your best. I realized a few changes that I should make in myself but the book didn't feel condescending or overly preachy. Worth reading!
September 16, 2009
This book was awesome. It focuses on the religious/spiritual extremes in our lives. I would recommend this book to everybody. I guarantee you will see yourself in this book. It helped me see some of the things I can and should improve in my life.
September 7, 2009
The author has a tendency to drag on, but I felt that overall my persistence to finish paid off in high dividends. I saw so many places that I could improve that I hadn't seen before. A good eye opener for anybody.
April 14, 2010
This book does a great job of explaining how the adversary can use any characteristic to lead us astray, even a seemingly good one. This was an enjoyable read and, as the reader, it is interesting to see which traits you recognize in yourself.
December 19, 2011
This is a fairly light and easy read, mostly lots of quotes from other sources. Eaton pulls all these ideas together and has created a book that helps us realize where we can improve and the importance of having a healthy balance in all aspects of our life.
March 21, 2016
Finding the balance in all things has always been a desire of mine. This book was excellent, Rob and I read much of it together as we tend to be on opposite ends of the spectrum in many aspects but striving to be smack dab.
August 22, 2008
Shows how Satan can use weknesses to trap us and how he can use over done strengths as well. Contrast extremes like frivolous versus joyless; sprinters versus saunterers.
February 25, 2009
I like this book , Not really enough meat inside for me. It's How to keep your Virtues Extremes from becoming vices. it's a church book.
February 11, 2009
Great insights about how to live a more balanced life, notwithstanding the tempting cover that might give you a craving for lots of icecream.
March 3, 2009
I thought he had several interesting points, and I am glad I read this book. I don't know if the title most accurately describes the book though.
March 11, 2009
A must read for EVERY Latter-day Saint!
March 23, 2010
This book gives different perspectives on who you are and how you act. It was a little boring for me...
November 30, 2010
It was OK. Nothing I could really apply to myself. Sonot a book I am interested in right now. Maybe later
October 24, 2010
Great read!
March 25, 2011
This book was definatly helpful in finding a balance in my spiritual life. I especially enjoyed the chapter about parenting.
March 5, 2012
This book just wasn't what I was hoping for.
September 1, 2013
I enjoyed reading this book. It seemed to get a little slow in the middle but I think it was a problem with me at the time not the book.
August 16, 2014
Great book, a lot of doctrine and insight. Very easy read and well worth it.
October 22, 2008
Great insights in the book. I recommend it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews