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Prepare to be tortured: - the price you will pay for dating a narcissist
self help, recovery from toxic relationships, narcissism
235 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 5, 2018
864 people are currently reading
2853 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
January 18, 2021
Not the most well written book but I swear, it was like reading someone narrating my entire relationship with you-know-who.
"This is the bit consummate narcissists do so well- it is the art of the great first impression... They are usually well-groomed, smell nice, and drive nice cars. Throw in some charm, and a healthy dose of charisma, and hey presto, you have a great catch. So much so, you can't believe your luck"
"The person you think you know and love does not in fact exist. He has moulded himself into the person you want him to be. In addition and, most crucially, by now you have given him all sorts of clues as to your weaknesses, to be used against you later. The main weakness he has seized on is your vulnerability, your desire for love. This leaves you open to (easy for him) emotional manipulation."
"That's what narcissists do so well. They look for, and find, the gaps in your emotional wellbeing, and seep through, then they try to close the gaps behind them, by controlling you, leaving you adrift from your real friends, and entirely under their control..."
"This is narcissistic projection at its finest, projecting onto you so that you feel like the bad guy."
A little anecdotal at times rather than focusing on the scientific studies, but, that doesn't make it any less accurate.
"This is the bit consummate narcissists do so well- it is the art of the great first impression... They are usually well-groomed, smell nice, and drive nice cars. Throw in some charm, and a healthy dose of charisma, and hey presto, you have a great catch. So much so, you can't believe your luck"
"The person you think you know and love does not in fact exist. He has moulded himself into the person you want him to be. In addition and, most crucially, by now you have given him all sorts of clues as to your weaknesses, to be used against you later. The main weakness he has seized on is your vulnerability, your desire for love. This leaves you open to (easy for him) emotional manipulation."
"That's what narcissists do so well. They look for, and find, the gaps in your emotional wellbeing, and seep through, then they try to close the gaps behind them, by controlling you, leaving you adrift from your real friends, and entirely under their control..."
"This is narcissistic projection at its finest, projecting onto you so that you feel like the bad guy."
A little anecdotal at times rather than focusing on the scientific studies, but, that doesn't make it any less accurate.
February 21, 2019
Essential reading
Everything written in this book rang true for me. People who have not encountered these individuals should educate themselves. Very down to earth writing style. Humorous at times and quite scary.
Everything written in this book rang true for me. People who have not encountered these individuals should educate themselves. Very down to earth writing style. Humorous at times and quite scary.
June 14, 2019
Just what I needed
Though the reason for reading this book is sad, I am glad I found my way to it.
Thank you for writing a no nonsense and straight up book about life with a narcissist without the psycho babble. It made a very dark experience get lighter, which is really what we all need most in recovering with a narcissist person.
If you can write another in how to with children in the mix, that would be amazing!
Though the reason for reading this book is sad, I am glad I found my way to it.
Thank you for writing a no nonsense and straight up book about life with a narcissist without the psycho babble. It made a very dark experience get lighter, which is really what we all need most in recovering with a narcissist person.
If you can write another in how to with children in the mix, that would be amazing!
December 23, 2020
The book seems to be self promoted on Quora or through a marketing campaign. It is extremely poorly written with an average of at least 1 typos per sentence. Any modern writing software could fix a majority of these mistakes, but it’s clear the author did not bothered to proofread his own work. In addition to the unbearable amount of typos and poorly structured (and sometimes missing) sentences, it writes like an eighth grader’s diary rant.
I couldn’t even make it through half of the book.
I couldn’t even make it through half of the book.
May 19, 2019
Eye Opener
Good information and so true. Anyone in a relationship with a narcissist should read this book. Read and follow his advice.
Good information and so true. Anyone in a relationship with a narcissist should read this book. Read and follow his advice.
July 16, 2020
Nailed it!
The author made a slam dunk in describing what a relationship is like with a narcissist. This book tells it from the first meeting, thru the dating and conversations, and eventual break up. I wish there had been more describing 'after the break up' because it never goes well. These are usually the people who become stalkers and can ruin your life. Possibly threaten your life.
The author made a slam dunk in describing what a relationship is like with a narcissist. This book tells it from the first meeting, thru the dating and conversations, and eventual break up. I wish there had been more describing 'after the break up' because it never goes well. These are usually the people who become stalkers and can ruin your life. Possibly threaten your life.
June 21, 2019
This is a must read
I'm most definitely glad I read this. Maybe the best thing I have ever read since beginning my relationship almost 10 years ago. Something has felt so off and couldn't put my finger on it. Now we have to kids together. Now onto figuring out when and how to leave.
I'm most definitely glad I read this. Maybe the best thing I have ever read since beginning my relationship almost 10 years ago. Something has felt so off and couldn't put my finger on it. Now we have to kids together. Now onto figuring out when and how to leave.
November 4, 2019
Great and simply understood!
For the laymen..everyone has had to deal with a person who is NPD and this book should be read by all!
For the laymen..everyone has had to deal with a person who is NPD and this book should be read by all!
April 9, 2020
Prepare to be tortured
What an eye opener. I have always loved psychology and socially. Learning about what makes people tick. But this...this was truly something exceptional. Clearly written in a biased and cynical way. You would only have to understand by being burned by a narcissist. Wow.
What an eye opener. I have always loved psychology and socially. Learning about what makes people tick. But this...this was truly something exceptional. Clearly written in a biased and cynical way. You would only have to understand by being burned by a narcissist. Wow.
July 14, 2021
Torture
This is very enlightening I read it before and now I have read it again since my husband passed in December last year married 45 years together 50. Mostly correct a controller definitely and liar not a cheat but otherwise correct as a one of the guys I wasn't allowed out so I couldn't prove the lies he told it would never happen again but of course too late now recommended to people who don't know enough about these type of humans.
This is very enlightening I read it before and now I have read it again since my husband passed in December last year married 45 years together 50. Mostly correct a controller definitely and liar not a cheat but otherwise correct as a one of the guys I wasn't allowed out so I couldn't prove the lies he told it would never happen again but of course too late now recommended to people who don't know enough about these type of humans.
November 28, 2021
Very informative
August 1, 2023
The author is condescending and disrespectful towards victims. At one point he says, ''If you were strong, confident and assertive you would not have been abused, It's because of your weaknesses that you became a victim.''
The author is especially disrespectful towards victims who have been repeatedly ensnared by a narcissist and he labels them as codependents and points out their numerous flaws which became the cause of abuse.
Never let anyone tell you that the abuse was your fault or you somehow deserved it. People become once or repeatedly ensnared by narcissists because they lack deep knowledge of narcissism, not because they are codependents. All victims of narcs are normal, good people trying to satisfy their legitimate needs in relationships. But because of their lack of knowledge about narcissism, they select the wrong partners.
The author is especially disrespectful towards victims who have been repeatedly ensnared by a narcissist and he labels them as codependents and points out their numerous flaws which became the cause of abuse.
Never let anyone tell you that the abuse was your fault or you somehow deserved it. People become once or repeatedly ensnared by narcissists because they lack deep knowledge of narcissism, not because they are codependents. All victims of narcs are normal, good people trying to satisfy their legitimate needs in relationships. But because of their lack of knowledge about narcissism, they select the wrong partners.
June 29, 2021
Read the Narcissist at Work chapter. Prescient.
Some typos and formatting issues but overall a great insight into the Narcissist in love, work and home lives. NPD should be taught in every school curriculum to save a decade or two of painful ignorance before the inevitable rude awakening. Such confusing people with incongruous words and actions. And they will pop up anywhere. Forewarned is forearmed. One of the better insights into NPD.
Some typos and formatting issues but overall a great insight into the Narcissist in love, work and home lives. NPD should be taught in every school curriculum to save a decade or two of painful ignorance before the inevitable rude awakening. Such confusing people with incongruous words and actions. And they will pop up anywhere. Forewarned is forearmed. One of the better insights into NPD.
July 18, 2019
Meh
Wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Kind of all over the place, a little hard for me to follow.
Wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Kind of all over the place, a little hard for me to follow.
December 16, 2021
This is the best book I have read to date on the topic of narcissism in a relationship. The examples are spot-on. The descriptions are easy to follow and written in a casual, layman terminology. This book is fantastic for anyone who is wondering if they are dealing with a true, real narcissist in any type of relationship, whether that be romantic, familial, or workplace. With the word "narcissism" becoming so mainstream, and with the true diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder being much more horrific to deal with than the person with narcissistic traits who looks in the mirror a lot and takes too many selfies, this book helps to separate the true disorder from the traits that most of us have on some level.
This book could use some editing, which is the only reason for the 4 star review.
This book could use some editing, which is the only reason for the 4 star review.
January 8, 2023
I wish someone gave me a heads up about this book in 2018. Seems like the author had a front row seat into my life for the last 5 years. Its almost comical how many things I could relate to and I'm glad I can laugh about it now.
Yes, this book lacked an editor. There were typos and poor grammar that was irritating, but the message the book was trying to get across was heard loud and clear. A lot of these books can be heavily laden on the psychobabble and official terms. This is in complete layman's terms. Therefore, it should help more people who don't have the tolerance to sit through a text book with unending jargon.
A decent place to start if you suspect there might be someone in your life with narcissistic tendencies, just to get an overall view of what might be happening to you and what to expect.
Yes, this book lacked an editor. There were typos and poor grammar that was irritating, but the message the book was trying to get across was heard loud and clear. A lot of these books can be heavily laden on the psychobabble and official terms. This is in complete layman's terms. Therefore, it should help more people who don't have the tolerance to sit through a text book with unending jargon.
A decent place to start if you suspect there might be someone in your life with narcissistic tendencies, just to get an overall view of what might be happening to you and what to expect.
February 5, 2024
Great narrative about experiencing a narcissist
It was mostly imaginary story-lines about people encountering, having a relationship or working with a narc, interspersed with ways to deal with it. Absolutely no doubt the author has had experience with this because so many things I could relate to and definitely experienced the same. As I read the book I felt bad for the author, I know his pain!!! My only negative thought regarding the book were explain and talk about no contact more thoroughly. It was definitely brought up in the book, but being a victim of a narcissist is a slippery slope. Easy to get sucked back in as explained in the book, but even more NO CONTACT messages would be good. And how so very hard that is to do as a victim.
It was mostly imaginary story-lines about people encountering, having a relationship or working with a narc, interspersed with ways to deal with it. Absolutely no doubt the author has had experience with this because so many things I could relate to and definitely experienced the same. As I read the book I felt bad for the author, I know his pain!!! My only negative thought regarding the book were explain and talk about no contact more thoroughly. It was definitely brought up in the book, but being a victim of a narcissist is a slippery slope. Easy to get sucked back in as explained in the book, but even more NO CONTACT messages would be good. And how so very hard that is to do as a victim.
January 13, 2021
I believe I dated a narcissist,years ago, but still have the scars... even though I have moved on everything that happened in that relationship, it has confused the hell out of me and I think about it often. Reading this book has been a real eye opener and brought so much of what happened there into a sharp focus. I wish I'd read this years ago... helpful in personal relationships, friendships and employment scenarios... we have all encountered narcissists whether we realise it or not and this is a fantastic book to help you realise it really isn't you - it's them.
May 22, 2022
Just as shedding the classic The Five Love Languages (a gift ironically from a Nex) at a book swap, Prepare to Be Tortured is a quick and comprehensible read in the FIRST (hence the rating) stages of recovery. What's more ironic, and tragic, is how the first mentioned book is the rationalised enabling of how A.B. Jamieson alludes to be the narcissist's ideal victims' thought process: "(...) accommodating to his needs, then where's the harm in that?".
August 30, 2021
Worth reading, especially if you do not think it applies
One of those books that makes you say ouch, more times than you care to understand how many times and ways you have been made a fool. The swim out of the swamp is muddy too and full of scrapes for the path that must be taken to recovery.
One of those books that makes you say ouch, more times than you care to understand how many times and ways you have been made a fool. The swim out of the swamp is muddy too and full of scrapes for the path that must be taken to recovery.
September 30, 2022
Although gave insights but written too much in detail
Someone who is looking at npd this is not the book because the whole story reading requires too much patience. Instead just go to the important paras marked..thats all. The rest is all in a story form with too much elaboration
Someone who is looking at npd this is not the book because the whole story reading requires too much patience. Instead just go to the important paras marked..thats all. The rest is all in a story form with too much elaboration
October 24, 2022
Informative and easily understood. Devoid of the psychobabble of many of the more academic books on the subject.
The author was clever enough to include a story of a victim involved in an abusive narcissistic relationship which brought together much of the strands of information from the more factual chapters. Highly recommend.
August 2, 2020
A must for anyone dating a narc
Great advice, when I was reading the chapters, the amount of times I was nodding yes and saying that's what happened, unbelievable to think people have this as a personality...... Stay away from narcs, you will be happier in the end.... Great book
Great advice, when I was reading the chapters, the amount of times I was nodding yes and saying that's what happened, unbelievable to think people have this as a personality...... Stay away from narcs, you will be happier in the end.... Great book
August 5, 2020
This was a solid little book. The author was a bit scatterbrained- the book randomly changed from first person to third person which made it a little harder to follow, but overall some good information.
October 7, 2020
Well written. Using a fictional based story line, incorporating real experiences which profile narcissistic behaviours, how to recognise them, and how they devour you. A good source of information for dealing with NSPD.
Worth a read.
Worth a read.
Read
November 26, 2020Good read
This book has lot of advice which helps you with healing process and gives insights into minds of narcissistic personalities. I have read many book on this topic but this one just clicked.
This book has lot of advice which helps you with healing process and gives insights into minds of narcissistic personalities. I have read many book on this topic but this one just clicked.
Want to read
December 12, 2020Beste mensen ik zou graag deze boek willen kopen, heb geen creditcard dus via amazone lukt het niet.
Iemand die dit boek zou willen verkopen aan mij?
(Als je het in huis hebt natuurlijk 😊)
Groetjes
Iemand die dit boek zou willen verkopen aan mij?
(Als je het in huis hebt natuurlijk 😊)
Groetjes
Want to read
February 4, 2021Began reading . I’m puzzled because in the introduction it appears as if Dr. Jamieson began learning about narcissism in relationship with a female narcissist? The book appears to focus on male narcissists. Is there a companion book?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 23, 2021
Survivor
Brilliantly written and really hits home. I'm sure I can spot one now. Split up 6 years, but unfortunately still share a house. Totally no contact though. Even though he pays for nothing, so I am still being fleeced.
Brilliantly written and really hits home. I'm sure I can spot one now. Split up 6 years, but unfortunately still share a house. Totally no contact though. Even though he pays for nothing, so I am still being fleeced.
August 31, 2021
Grammar in this book was horrendous, i had to switch to the audiobook halfway through. Good learning points, though. Wish the entire book was more focused like the last half, the fictional story in the beginning was drab. Definitely informational, but still all over the place.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews