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Without a Map: A Caregiver’s Journey through the Wilderness of Heart and Mind
When Lisa Steele-Maley began helping her father navigate the details of a life interrupted by dementia, she was in unfamiliar territory. As a wilderness traveler, she was accustomed to adapting to ever-changing situations, but as her father's health declined, the idea of finding stability seemed impossible. Only one thing was sure: her father was losing perspective--losing track of time, the slippers at his feet, and his ability to find his way home. Lisa wasn't sure she had the skills, experience, or patience to competently travel this path with him, but taking one step at a time, she found it was as simple--and as profound--as life in the wilderness: Be prepared, be present. Trust the process, stay close.
Without a Map weaves together Lisa's experience of caregiving with lessons gleaned from decades of wilderness travel, rural living, and parenting. Revealing the uncertainty, wisdom, love and reciprocity of a caregiving relationship, this memoir contributes a deeply personal perspective to the subjects of dementia and aging.
A 2018 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Finalist
Without a Map weaves together Lisa's experience of caregiving with lessons gleaned from decades of wilderness travel, rural living, and parenting. Revealing the uncertainty, wisdom, love and reciprocity of a caregiving relationship, this memoir contributes a deeply personal perspective to the subjects of dementia and aging.
A 2018 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Finalist
- GenresNonfiction
122 pages, Paperback
Published June 25, 2018
2 people are currently reading
513 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
September 11, 2018
I won a copy in a Goodreads giveaway, this did not influence my review.
Three and a half stars.
While I have never been the primary caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's, I have worked extensively with the population, and three of my grandparents suffered from various forms of dementia in their later years. Steele-Maley's book chronicles her father's struggle with the disease in a concise and matter-of-fact manner, but also in a compassionate one. She draws parallels between navigating the wilderness and their journey through Alzheimer's - these sometimes work and sometimes feel like a bit of a stretch. There are a few very quick glimpses into her earlier life as a wilderness explorer, but mostly this is a very focal book about her experiences as a caregiver. At times, I found myself wanting more of a look into her birth family and their relationships in order to set a foundation for the story. And, ironically, while one of Steele-Maley's themes is that there is no map to follow with Alzheimer's, she gives an accurate portrayal of the typical stages of progression with this disease and the accommodations that need to be made along the way. While this is a memoir and not a how-to guide by any means, other caregivers will find solace and valuable information within.
Three and a half stars.
While I have never been the primary caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's, I have worked extensively with the population, and three of my grandparents suffered from various forms of dementia in their later years. Steele-Maley's book chronicles her father's struggle with the disease in a concise and matter-of-fact manner, but also in a compassionate one. She draws parallels between navigating the wilderness and their journey through Alzheimer's - these sometimes work and sometimes feel like a bit of a stretch. There are a few very quick glimpses into her earlier life as a wilderness explorer, but mostly this is a very focal book about her experiences as a caregiver. At times, I found myself wanting more of a look into her birth family and their relationships in order to set a foundation for the story. And, ironically, while one of Steele-Maley's themes is that there is no map to follow with Alzheimer's, she gives an accurate portrayal of the typical stages of progression with this disease and the accommodations that need to be made along the way. While this is a memoir and not a how-to guide by any means, other caregivers will find solace and valuable information within.
August 16, 2018
this is a really fabulous book for anyone who has a friend or relative dealing with alzheimer's or dementia, or anyone who is working with people with these issues. my only exposure so far is with hospice volunteer work, but i found this book so valuable. it is very well-written and i think it will be nationally recognized soon, like "being mortal" and "when breath becomes air" and a few other really good end-of-life books. "final gifts" by maggie callanan was another really good one.
October 12, 2018
Reviewed by Kimberly Luyckx for Reader Views (10/18)
This is a small story that packs a big punch. It is true to its description as a memoir/caregiver themed book. “Without a Map: A Caregiver’s Journey through the Wilderness of Heart and Mind” is the perfect title for Lisa Steele-Maley’s story. In it she faces the uncharted territory of caregiving for her father who has dementia.
Before her father’s illness, Steele-Maley embarked on several wilderness journeys that took her to Alaska and Washington’s remote forests and high mountain regions. She planned routes, prepared necessities and stayed flexible for any deviations or unexpected surprises along the trail. Little did she know then that the tools she developed in these wilds would assist her greatly in her new caregiver role.
As her father gradually shuts down - limiting his outings and connections - he chooses to remain at home in order to avoid the confusion that the outside world has become to him. Steele-Maley visits her father monthly to set up bill payments and general household upkeep. Eventually this assistance converts to more basic methods of organizing his daily routines and preserving his safety and health. Along with her brothers’ assistance, Steele- Maley eventually transfers her father to a center that can support and protect him as his mental health declines. Steele-Maley continues the journey as her father’s main caregiver seeking and discovering new ways each day to provide the comfort he needs as, together, they navigate the unknown territory of dementia.
It is refreshing to have the juxtaposition of Steele-Maley’s previous outdoor adventures to her current experience of trekking into the arena of mental illness. The descriptions of each are unique. Snowy peaks and campfire cooking vs. doctor visits and the aspects of assisted living. Despite the apparent differences between these two scenarios, they both contain twists and turns of unexplored terrain that lead to the same lesson - all you really have is the present. By living each day realizing the vulnerability of the situation and confronting the challenges that come with uncharted terrain, you stay in the moment.
Unfortunately, Steele-Maley has to discover the heart of life through many trials and tribulations. The loss of her father’s memory, his identity and place in the world are traumatic yet place him permanently in the present moment where he can experience life as it truly exists - new, fresh and zestful. Many memoirs I have read in the past communicate difficulties and journeys that are specific to someone’s problem. And, unless you are experiencing the exact issue, the journey is not always relatable as a whole. “Without a Map” is different. Steele-Maley’s memoir is reflective of a greater life lesson, maybe the greatest of all. Connection. One such example is when she uses the smooth rhythm of her words to relate the foundation of our lives to the roots of nature’s trees - “long and strong, stretching deep into the earth and reaching out to one another.” All throughout her book, the author relays a universal message that infiltrates and transcends the reality of her situation. Her circumstances present a larger perspective of life. Being in the “wild” she is granted with a view often described as awe-inspiring and infinite.
Even if you aren’t the primary caregiver to an ailing parent, you will benefit from “Without a Map.” Lisa Steele-Maley’s self-help tips are constructive and reassuring. From discovering how and when to assist a once independent parent to letting them go when the time comes and ways to stay grounded along the way. As a reader, you get a true sense of Steele-Maley’s evolution as she cares for her father through his dementia. Towards the book’s conclusion, each line written is more significant than the next. In the end, the author’s wilderness journey grants all of us with a panoramic view of life that honors the journey and not the destination.
This is a small story that packs a big punch. It is true to its description as a memoir/caregiver themed book. “Without a Map: A Caregiver’s Journey through the Wilderness of Heart and Mind” is the perfect title for Lisa Steele-Maley’s story. In it she faces the uncharted territory of caregiving for her father who has dementia.
Before her father’s illness, Steele-Maley embarked on several wilderness journeys that took her to Alaska and Washington’s remote forests and high mountain regions. She planned routes, prepared necessities and stayed flexible for any deviations or unexpected surprises along the trail. Little did she know then that the tools she developed in these wilds would assist her greatly in her new caregiver role.
As her father gradually shuts down - limiting his outings and connections - he chooses to remain at home in order to avoid the confusion that the outside world has become to him. Steele-Maley visits her father monthly to set up bill payments and general household upkeep. Eventually this assistance converts to more basic methods of organizing his daily routines and preserving his safety and health. Along with her brothers’ assistance, Steele- Maley eventually transfers her father to a center that can support and protect him as his mental health declines. Steele-Maley continues the journey as her father’s main caregiver seeking and discovering new ways each day to provide the comfort he needs as, together, they navigate the unknown territory of dementia.
It is refreshing to have the juxtaposition of Steele-Maley’s previous outdoor adventures to her current experience of trekking into the arena of mental illness. The descriptions of each are unique. Snowy peaks and campfire cooking vs. doctor visits and the aspects of assisted living. Despite the apparent differences between these two scenarios, they both contain twists and turns of unexplored terrain that lead to the same lesson - all you really have is the present. By living each day realizing the vulnerability of the situation and confronting the challenges that come with uncharted terrain, you stay in the moment.
Unfortunately, Steele-Maley has to discover the heart of life through many trials and tribulations. The loss of her father’s memory, his identity and place in the world are traumatic yet place him permanently in the present moment where he can experience life as it truly exists - new, fresh and zestful. Many memoirs I have read in the past communicate difficulties and journeys that are specific to someone’s problem. And, unless you are experiencing the exact issue, the journey is not always relatable as a whole. “Without a Map” is different. Steele-Maley’s memoir is reflective of a greater life lesson, maybe the greatest of all. Connection. One such example is when she uses the smooth rhythm of her words to relate the foundation of our lives to the roots of nature’s trees - “long and strong, stretching deep into the earth and reaching out to one another.” All throughout her book, the author relays a universal message that infiltrates and transcends the reality of her situation. Her circumstances present a larger perspective of life. Being in the “wild” she is granted with a view often described as awe-inspiring and infinite.
Even if you aren’t the primary caregiver to an ailing parent, you will benefit from “Without a Map.” Lisa Steele-Maley’s self-help tips are constructive and reassuring. From discovering how and when to assist a once independent parent to letting them go when the time comes and ways to stay grounded along the way. As a reader, you get a true sense of Steele-Maley’s evolution as she cares for her father through his dementia. Towards the book’s conclusion, each line written is more significant than the next. In the end, the author’s wilderness journey grants all of us with a panoramic view of life that honors the journey and not the destination.
July 28, 2019
“Without a Map” measures up to my sense of what makes a book not just good but superb. In Lisa Steele-Maley’s graceful prose—which is a joy to read—you see a fine mind and a loving heart at work. Her use of her frequent forays into the wilderness as a metaphor for her journey with her beloved father thru the thickets of Alzheimer’s disease gave me more guidance than I received from science-based “tips, tricks, and techniques” as I tried to accompany my mother on the same journey. And the take-away lessons to be learned from this real-life story are treasures in themselves. E.g., “Caring for, loving, and grieving for my Dad has heightened my resolve to live a life of intention and meaning”—the final lesson from a father who had already taught his daughter well. I finished the book with a more understanding heart, more courage (at age 80) to face into my own old age, and with a smile on my face: While it's true that there is no map for the perplexing journey with a loved one lost in Alzheimer’s disease, Lisa Steele-Maley in this beautiful book has provided us with a metaphorical map that I found profoundly inspiring and useful. I believe that you will, too. —Parker J. Palmer (author of “On the Brink of Everything,” “Let Your Life Speak,” and “The Courage to Teach”)
January 28, 2020
When a strong, elegant writer like Lisa has a powerful yet vulnerable experience often the result is outstanding. What you have in front of you is better than outstanding, more significant…more illuminating.
A lifetime of wilderness experiences provides an exquisite frame and potent context for dementia’s unstoppable exhausting robbery.
Lisa writes “If the fog lifted near midday, the sun was warm, but if the wind was blowing down the glacier, it carried the coolness of the ice with it. I often felt chilled to the bone beneath the warmth of my exertion that summer.” it perfectly describes multiple experiences that are forced together. This forcing of previously unrelated experiences sums up both the challenge and the opportunity that dementia provides for the caregiver.
Her story provides a vivid description, so as to facilitate beneficial recognition and familiarity, but not so detailed that our individual experience is compromised or derailed. Lisa Steele-Maley’s book is a rare, necessary, and welcome light for a journey filled with darkness and confusion.
A lifetime of wilderness experiences provides an exquisite frame and potent context for dementia’s unstoppable exhausting robbery.
Lisa writes “If the fog lifted near midday, the sun was warm, but if the wind was blowing down the glacier, it carried the coolness of the ice with it. I often felt chilled to the bone beneath the warmth of my exertion that summer.” it perfectly describes multiple experiences that are forced together. This forcing of previously unrelated experiences sums up both the challenge and the opportunity that dementia provides for the caregiver.
Her story provides a vivid description, so as to facilitate beneficial recognition and familiarity, but not so detailed that our individual experience is compromised or derailed. Lisa Steele-Maley’s book is a rare, necessary, and welcome light for a journey filled with darkness and confusion.
September 13, 2018
This book is an exquisite, personal account of the journey of the author becoming caregiver for her father during his experience with dementia. There are innumerable people who would appreciate the wisdom in this book: people living with or near progressive terminal disease, caregivers, healthcare providers, contemplative seekers, attuned parents, and conscious human beings. The pace is perfect, the structure balanced, the length just-right, and the message is one that transcends this family and this diagnosis. For anyone who seeks peace and growth from within life's most trying, potentially most distressing, and most ultimately most life-affirming places, this book will bring you near that beautiful, terrible edge. I recommend this book whole-heartedly, the way I would recommend a much loved walk through the woods or along a beautiful vista. Take it in and it will leave a mark on you.
July 11, 2024
I love the way that Steele-Maley describes her journey as a caregiver - she creates a vision of connecting with her father in a deep and meaningful way as they both navigate his increasing dementia with patience, humor, love, and understanding. She handles each challenge and transition as an unexpected situation that arises when hiking - meet it as it comes. The overall feel of the story is that dementia, decline, and death can be experienced in a loving, natural way. It is very hopeful and encouraging.
April 27, 2020
An excellent perspective on helping a relative through dementia with grace and warmth. This is a story that is hard to put down and easy to pick up. A succinct read but full of emotion and just the right amount of detail.
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October 18, 2018Wonderful support for care givers. You are not alone.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews