What do you think?
Rate this book
F*ck That Cape: The Grown Woman's Unapologetic Guide to Putting Herself First
The ultimate crash guide to changing your life. You’ll never read another self-help book ever again. The narrative around being strong has been a crown of thorns for African American women since shewe were brought to this country as slaves. Being smart and clever and efficient was a matter of life and death. Now in present time, being a smart, educated and successful African American woman doesn't determine if we live or die but it often creates an isolating and lonely world because more times than not she is we are hustling to prove herour worth to everyone. You’ve been accommodating all your life. You’ve been willing to set aside your own interests, needs and desires “for the greater good.” You’ve been playing the sacrificial lamb on the altar selflessness for far too long. It’s time to stop trying to be everyone’s hero, putting the needs of others above your own. It is making you miserable and you know it. Deep within you, you know your Strong Black Woman complex leaves a bad taste in your mouth more often than not, leaving you feeling exhausted, unfulfilled, alone and angry with the world… and at the people you love. All your life you’ve been told to be a tough, strong, self-reliant, inscrutable Black woman without a chink in her armor, without an ounce of weakness, so you plod on, isolated and lonely because you’re not being true to yourself. You’re suffering, and whether you’re complaining or not. It’s time to stop. With soul-baring stories and anecdotes from her own life, Jennifer gives a detailed account of her journey to healing and shows you how stop “Caping” and begin to have a more compassionate view of yourself and begin making yourself the number one priority in your life and trust your own instincts and abilities without having to compromise to please anyone else. F*ck That Cape is a book that will show you how to trust your inner voice and intuition, a natural talent that we’ve crushed underneath the weight of societal expectations. Here’s what you’re going to learn in this no-fluff, definitive guide to
•How to go from meeting everyone else's needs to getting your own needs met first
•Figuring out what you really want, firmly asking for it and getting it without being an asshole •How to build an awesome support system of people that encourage you and boost your confidence •How to give yourself permission to relentlessly pursue your dreams and live the life you've always wanted •Why you should stop trying to please and make everyone happy and practical steps to go about it •And much more!
Deeply insightful, intuitive and even life changing, F*ck that Cape is the ultimate blueprint to crafting your life the way you want it. On your own terms.
•How to go from meeting everyone else's needs to getting your own needs met first
•Figuring out what you really want, firmly asking for it and getting it without being an asshole •How to build an awesome support system of people that encourage you and boost your confidence •How to give yourself permission to relentlessly pursue your dreams and live the life you've always wanted •Why you should stop trying to please and make everyone happy and practical steps to go about it •And much more!
Deeply insightful, intuitive and even life changing, F*ck that Cape is the ultimate blueprint to crafting your life the way you want it. On your own terms.
- GenresSelf Help
87 pages, Paperback
Published April 6, 2018
386 people are currently reading
268 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
January 10, 2021
Loved It😍
This was just what I needed! This book made me recognize so many toxic views that I held within and need to change about myself! I love how the author was blunt yet comforting. This is a must read for any woman who knows she is putting everyone and everything else first. The exercises at the end of each chapter really allow a person to reflect and focus on true change for themselves, introspection. This was a great investment in me!
This was just what I needed! This book made me recognize so many toxic views that I held within and need to change about myself! I love how the author was blunt yet comforting. This is a must read for any woman who knows she is putting everyone and everything else first. The exercises at the end of each chapter really allow a person to reflect and focus on true change for themselves, introspection. This was a great investment in me!
September 14, 2021
4 stars. This was such a great and eye opening read. I just wish it had been longer and that it had been better edited. I could’ve easily given this a five stars but there were a lot of grammatical errors that took me out of it every time. The advice in this though is very solid and I feel like it could really change someone’s life. Really good read and I would definitely recommend it.
March 6, 2022
Put the Cape Up Sis!
Another affirmation and goal setting self help book, but this is geared more towards black women as we have a different set of burdens and hurdles to jump over and through. Raw and honest, with nothing holding back, Jennifer breaks it down on how to build your self esteem back up! We don’t have to be super sheroes, 100% of the time! We have to leave to have our own self love, which is the ultimate love!
Another affirmation and goal setting self help book, but this is geared more towards black women as we have a different set of burdens and hurdles to jump over and through. Raw and honest, with nothing holding back, Jennifer breaks it down on how to build your self esteem back up! We don’t have to be super sheroes, 100% of the time! We have to leave to have our own self love, which is the ultimate love!
July 26, 2020
Soooo many nuggets
I loved reading this book. There are so many concepts to consider that just get away from you because you are too busy doing all the things. It helps you to put things into perspective. I liked that it offered questions for you to answer at the end of each chapter.
The only thing I wish would have had more direction is the planning part of the book (even if it was its own separate workbook 😉). For those of us that can’t read a work because of grammatical errors, you’ll have to brace yourself. But the message was so on point that I autocorrected and kept it moving.
I loved reading this book. There are so many concepts to consider that just get away from you because you are too busy doing all the things. It helps you to put things into perspective. I liked that it offered questions for you to answer at the end of each chapter.
The only thing I wish would have had more direction is the planning part of the book (even if it was its own separate workbook 😉). For those of us that can’t read a work because of grammatical errors, you’ll have to brace yourself. But the message was so on point that I autocorrected and kept it moving.
June 27, 2020
this was a suggested read through Kindle Unlimited ... and it was in like a 4 page listing of Black Authors, i would hope that Amazon will continue to add to this list ...because so many black authors (that i know of ... not sure if it had to do with a sort genre or what?) that are so awesome are not on that list? i think this would be an excellent book to listen to .. through Audible? when does a book get linked in with "self help" i did read a few other reviews and some ladies did say that in their reviews. i would not say these are new tips ...just Jennifer's spin on them ... why i think it would be a great listen. to hear her in her own words. new to this author.
June 3, 2024
All I have to say about this book is - DROP THE DAMN CAPE!! I see up top it says Kindle, but I have the paperback version of this book.
This book helped me tremendously in going through my healing journey!! This book has helped me decipher what is really important to me, and what and who I can truly leave behind.
I have felt so much better since reading this book and going through the exercises she incorporated in this book. I still have the notebook where I did the exercises and a few others.
If you are ready to put the focus on you, get and read this book and don't ever feel ashamed for putting yourself first!!
This book helped me tremendously in going through my healing journey!! This book has helped me decipher what is really important to me, and what and who I can truly leave behind.
I have felt so much better since reading this book and going through the exercises she incorporated in this book. I still have the notebook where I did the exercises and a few others.
If you are ready to put the focus on you, get and read this book and don't ever feel ashamed for putting yourself first!!
January 16, 2021
Let me tell you, this book is for every woman, everywhere. I could not put the book down. I found myself in this book so many places and had so many lightbulb moments. Even thought I am not a SBW, I could relate to many of the things talked about in this book. I love reading books from black authors because it helps me see through my own priviledge and gives me a perspective I may not have ever been able to see before.
January 9, 2022
This is the guidebook
This author nailed it. 100% nailed it. There were times I felt FINALLY seen or finally heard . There were moments that I felt like I was taking with a good friend in my living room. This book with make you realize change that's needed, how to get there, how to get away from what put you there, and to realize your own value. We all need that. Y'all SBW need this book!
This author nailed it. 100% nailed it. There were times I felt FINALLY seen or finally heard . There were moments that I felt like I was taking with a good friend in my living room. This book with make you realize change that's needed, how to get there, how to get away from what put you there, and to realize your own value. We all need that. Y'all SBW need this book!
March 21, 2020
All truth...very inspiring!
Your story may not be Jennifer's story but we can all relate and find ourselves in this book! I love how there are questions at the end of each chapter that force you to put what you've read into practice. It took less than a day to read. Highly recommended for black women who are ready to get what they desire and deserve.
Your story may not be Jennifer's story but we can all relate and find ourselves in this book! I love how there are questions at the end of each chapter that force you to put what you've read into practice. It took less than a day to read. Highly recommended for black women who are ready to get what they desire and deserve.
October 2, 2020
A few grammatical errors but a quick read with activities on letting go of mental constructs that black women have to do it all. It took me a little longer to read it because the activities led to some deep thinking on how her words related to me and how I could relate them to my life. I definitely recommend!
December 10, 2020
Self reflective!
I purchased this book a while back but recently began reading it. I feel like I opened this book at the right time. This book will make you self reflect and force you to take a deep dive into your life. There are a few typos but the message is well received and it’s an easy read!
I purchased this book a while back but recently began reading it. I feel like I opened this book at the right time. This book will make you self reflect and force you to take a deep dive into your life. There are a few typos but the message is well received and it’s an easy read!
January 10, 2021
Most of the chapters really touched me because I can also relate. I really think this book will help me a lot with some of the things that I want to work on this year. So glad that I found it beginning of my self-love journey, it’s giving me hope and reassurance that I’m on the right path. Thank you!!!
July 18, 2021
Authentic. Honest. Caring
So many parts of Arnise’s book resonates with me as a single black women who raised a child alone. The author personally understands the struggle of strong black women and gives us freedom to step back, live, and love ourselves. Very insightful. She warns readers of brash language. Get past the curse words and you’re home free! Lol!
So many parts of Arnise’s book resonates with me as a single black women who raised a child alone. The author personally understands the struggle of strong black women and gives us freedom to step back, live, and love ourselves. Very insightful. She warns readers of brash language. Get past the curse words and you’re home free! Lol!
August 4, 2022
I genuinely enjoyed this book.
I love that there is a written exercise after reading each chapter. That's a plus for me considering the fact that I enjoy journaling. This book is for the self less woman who does everything for everyone but herself. F@$k that Strong Black Woman cape and be selfish for a change.
I love that there is a written exercise after reading each chapter. That's a plus for me considering the fact that I enjoy journaling. This book is for the self less woman who does everything for everyone but herself. F@$k that Strong Black Woman cape and be selfish for a change.
January 31, 2023
phenomenal 🤎
Absolutely enjoyed this book, I appreciate Jennifer’s transparency and how she is using her story to motivate all black women that it is okay to put ourselves first for our own happiness and wellbeing after years of trauma and being conformed into the idea that it is not okay to do so.
Absolutely enjoyed this book, I appreciate Jennifer’s transparency and how she is using her story to motivate all black women that it is okay to put ourselves first for our own happiness and wellbeing after years of trauma and being conformed into the idea that it is not okay to do so.
January 20, 2020
This was a good book. I felt that the author reiterated certain concepts over and over, often using different words and expressions. I love the written work but would have liked more concrete suggestions (ie exactly how to meditate)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 4, 2020
Yaassss!!!
The author tackles the mindset of "strong Black woman" and exposes the negative impact it has on women of color. Her honesty helps the reader connect to her ideas and start to do the work of prioritizing their needs. Funny and straightforward. Definitely worth a read!
The author tackles the mindset of "strong Black woman" and exposes the negative impact it has on women of color. Her honesty helps the reader connect to her ideas and start to do the work of prioritizing their needs. Funny and straightforward. Definitely worth a read!
August 18, 2020
Brilliant!!
I Like how this book breaks down all the misconceptions about the strong black woman. Reading this book helped me see.that both everyone will accept me for who I am and that is fine by me!
I Like how this book breaks down all the misconceptions about the strong black woman. Reading this book helped me see.that both everyone will accept me for who I am and that is fine by me!
September 25, 2020
Amazing Read!
Each chapter reminded me of my power! Each chapter gives examples and tips on how to put yourself first and why you deserve it, black Queen. My favorite parts were the exercises at the end of each chapter. Phenomenal book!
Each chapter reminded me of my power! Each chapter gives examples and tips on how to put yourself first and why you deserve it, black Queen. My favorite parts were the exercises at the end of each chapter. Phenomenal book!
January 11, 2021
Powerful
This book is really powerful. It helps you see things from a completely different perspective. It really helps you appreciate yourself and realize it's ok not to be superwoman at all times.
This book is really powerful. It helps you see things from a completely different perspective. It really helps you appreciate yourself and realize it's ok not to be superwoman at all times.
May 28, 2021
Just what I needed
I've been feeling frustrated and in a rut with my career and trying to find my purpose. This book was exactly what I needed to get me in alignment with my souls purpose.
I've been feeling frustrated and in a rut with my career and trying to find my purpose. This book was exactly what I needed to get me in alignment with my souls purpose.
March 23, 2022
Should’ve been longer and there were grammatical errors on every other page. But it was ok. I plan to return it tho cause I wouldn’t have bought it if I knew it was so short. It reads more like a pamphlet than an actual book.
December 21, 2025
Menopause and beyond - all Womens health issues throughout a lifetime. A guide for prevention and navigate the health care system. I feel pretty educated prior to reading this book and still came away with several tips all backed by medical science.
June 3, 2018
Great book! Very realistic!
This book is amazing. She gave very realistic and life changing advice. I will be going back and reading this.
This book is amazing. She gave very realistic and life changing advice. I will be going back and reading this.
October 20, 2018
I mean WOW
You spoke a whole new life into me. F*ck that cape. Pouring self love into me and being SELFISH. I’m first!
Thank you so much
You spoke a whole new life into me. F*ck that cape. Pouring self love into me and being SELFISH. I’m first!
Thank you so much
January 28, 2020
Great read!
This book was very inspiring, motivating and empowering! I will be utilizing the tools she's shared to start my new journey of putting myself first!
This book was very inspiring, motivating and empowering! I will be utilizing the tools she's shared to start my new journey of putting myself first!
February 25, 2020
Good read
Good book, what I needed to hear for myself. A lot of times I felt alone but I am not and this book reminds me of that.
Good book, what I needed to hear for myself. A lot of times I felt alone but I am not and this book reminds me of that.
March 16, 2020
Awesome book!
May 27, 2020
Great book
Very good book! I love the purpose of this book very informative! Thank you it changed my life forever!
Ashley
Very good book! I love the purpose of this book very informative! Thank you it changed my life forever!
Ashley
September 17, 2020
Beautiful!
This was inspiring and encouraging. As a black woman myself, this has made me realize how hard I’ve been on myself and how I must take time to myself.
This was inspiring and encouraging. As a black woman myself, this has made me realize how hard I’ve been on myself and how I must take time to myself.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews