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C*cky Author
This totally original book is about a cock...sure man who is caulky, cocked up, and above all else, confident. He lays it into a lady real good, and leaves her satisfied(c).
This is a totally great comedy erotica story that in no way infringes on a certain word, no sirree, not at all.
This is a totally great comedy erotica story that in no way infringes on a certain word, no sirree, not at all.
13 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 4, 2018
32 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 200 reviews
May 14, 2018
GAH! I somehow thought this was M/M, until...
The lady garden between my legs, which was dry as the Sahara, Gobi, and all the other deserts combined, moistens up like a nice angel food cake at Mark’s words. It’s a real slick roast beef situation down there if you know what I mean.Color this gay boy HORRIFIED. ;- )
But 5 stars, because #cockygate.
May 7, 2018
★ 5 OMFG stars!!! ★
BEST BOOK OF 2018!!! Whoever wrote this book deserves all the stars! Seriously, this was BRILLIANT!
FREE COCKY!
“I tongue my tongue against his tongue, tonguing him real nice.”
BEST BOOK OF 2018!!! Whoever wrote this book deserves all the stars! Seriously, this was BRILLIANT!
“My father never loved me.”
“I can replace that lack of love in your life.”
FREE COCKY!
May 6, 2018
Genius narrative
This is a delightful example of how an author is able to convey a feeling and emotion without writing much.
Fettuccine Holliday you are a true marketing genius.
This is a delightful example of how an author is able to convey a feeling and emotion without writing much.
Fettuccine Holliday you are a true marketing genius.
May 5, 2018
OMG
Hilarious. Thank you for this tasty satire, Fettuccine. I haven't laughed like that since I don't know when. I hope you don't need a lawyer. ;)
Hilarious. Thank you for this tasty satire, Fettuccine. I haven't laughed like that since I don't know when. I hope you don't need a lawyer. ;)
May 10, 2018
Normally I wouldn't pay three bucks for what could be considered the length of a high school essay, but anything to piss of the latest #authorbehavingbadly is worth the investment.
It's a short read, but it's damn funny too. It's got some of the most hilarious lines that may actually end up in someone's book. Zingers like:
His face is like something I've seen in a magazine - in fact, I could've sworn I've seen it a thousand times, like it's been on a lot of book covers because that's something any reasonable person expects when they purchase a non-exclusive license. He just has that stock photo kind of face.
The lady garden between my legs, which was dry as the Sahara, Gobi and all the other deserts combined, moistens up like a nice angel food cake at Mark's words. It's a real slick roast beef situation down there if you know what I mean.
Grabbing me close, he mushes our mouths together like we're two middle schoolers with top and bottom braces.
"I'm ready for it now. Let's do the real sex that counts! Put your heterocentric snake in my lady lasagna."
All jokes aside, the romance genre gets little to no respect, despite generating billions in revenue EVERY YEAR and having one of the most loyal readerships. Unfortunately, when the media does pay attention, it's often due to the kind of nonsensical fuckwittery committed by said author #byeFeleena. The fact that she tried to trademark the word "cocky" - a word that's been used (and in some instances, OVERUSED) - in romance since forever.
It's a short read, but it's damn funny too. It's got some of the most hilarious lines that may actually end up in someone's book. Zingers like:
His face is like something I've seen in a magazine - in fact, I could've sworn I've seen it a thousand times, like it's been on a lot of book covers because that's something any reasonable person expects when they purchase a non-exclusive license. He just has that stock photo kind of face.
The lady garden between my legs, which was dry as the Sahara, Gobi and all the other deserts combined, moistens up like a nice angel food cake at Mark's words. It's a real slick roast beef situation down there if you know what I mean.
Grabbing me close, he mushes our mouths together like we're two middle schoolers with top and bottom braces.
"I'm ready for it now. Let's do the real sex that counts! Put your heterocentric snake in my lady lasagna."
All jokes aside, the romance genre gets little to no respect, despite generating billions in revenue EVERY YEAR and having one of the most loyal readerships. Unfortunately, when the media does pay attention, it's often due to the kind of nonsensical fuckwittery committed by said author #byeFeleena. The fact that she tried to trademark the word "cocky" - a word that's been used (and in some instances, OVERUSED) - in romance since forever.
May 9, 2018
Hands down, the BEST response to that no-name, bottom-feeding author who trademarked the word “Cocky” for use in a romance book title. It’s 10 minutes of hilarious satire about this ridiculous situation and worth every cent of the $2.99 I paid for it. Sooooo funny! Funniest sex scene ever!
Want to Read
May 9, 2018Because #cockygate is a thing. Read about it here.
May 6, 2018
Hilarious satirization of the audacity of #Cockygate. Oh my, Is it okay that I posted that word, or will I be getting in trouble now that it's no longer a free word?
May 6, 2018
Whoever did this is my hero
May 7, 2018
#FreeTheCocky #CockyWar #CockyGate #Cocky
The best book of the year! I laughed out loud and highly recommend!
The best book of the year! I laughed out loud and highly recommend!
"He puts his original content in me like no man ever has before."
“I’m ready for it now. Let’s do the real sex that counts! Put your heterocentric snake in my lady lasagna.”
"The lady garden between my legs, which was dry as the Sahara, Gobi, and all the other deserts combined, moistens up like a nice angel food cake at Mark’s words. It’s a real slick roast beef situation down there if you know what I mean."
"There’s a word. Five letters. Kind of… like… It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t come out with it for some unknown reason."
"His face is like something I’ve seen in a magazine – in fact, I could’ve sworn I’ve seen it a thousand times, like it’s been on a lot of book covers because that’s something any reasonable person expects when they purchase a non-exclusive license. He just has that stock photo kind of face."
May 6, 2018
Freakin' genius. Not only did they take advantage of the delicate situation in the romance community right now but they made fun of all the overused cliches in many romance novels. The way people kiss, the best sex characters have ever had, never using any protection, insta-lust, and terrible sex/genital euphemisms. The absolute SHADE of using the definition of 'cocky' without using the word. The best.
Well worth the money. I laughed all the way though.
Well worth the money. I laughed all the way though.
May 7, 2018
OMG I just peed myself. This is everything. And in 5 minutes I got one book closer to meeting my year end book goal. #cockygate #amazonbestseller
May 6, 2018
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!
Fettuccine Holiday!!! Who are you?! Seriously, I need to know. I want to shake your hand, pat you on the back and buy you a drink.
Christ, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life! I’m literally in tears! My husband is over here thinking I’ve lost my ever-loving mind because I. Can’t. Breathe. And now I’m slowly dying over the funniest sh*t I’ve ever read. This was AWESOME 😂😂😂😂
Fettuccine Holiday!!! Who are you?! Seriously, I need to know. I want to shake your hand, pat you on the back and buy you a drink.
Christ, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life! I’m literally in tears! My husband is over here thinking I’ve lost my ever-loving mind because I. Can’t. Breathe. And now I’m slowly dying over the funniest sh*t I’ve ever read. This was AWESOME 😂😂😂😂
May 6, 2018
OMG, I laughed so hard reading this!
Absolute perfection in response to #cockygate.
I cannot believe the audacity of that “author” bullying other authors. See here for info https://the-digital-reader.com/2018/0...
All these authors are trying to make a living. Why would another author do this?? Doesn’t make any sense to me.
Read this quick and hilarious book especially to support all the other romance authors!! 😉
#freecocky
Absolute perfection in response to #cockygate.
I cannot believe the audacity of that “author” bullying other authors. See here for info https://the-digital-reader.com/2018/0...
All these authors are trying to make a living. Why would another author do this?? Doesn’t make any sense to me.
Read this quick and hilarious book especially to support all the other romance authors!! 😉
#freecocky
Read
May 7, 2018Maybe I'm too sceptical, but I want to know who is this author, or rather who she isn't.
Coz it would be a damn good strategic maneuver, you know what I mean?...
The book is hilarious. Kick at so many romance clichés...
Coz it would be a damn good strategic maneuver, you know what I mean?...
The book is hilarious. Kick at so many romance clichés...
“Oh my god!” I cry out, trembling all over as I crescendo into a very unlikely quick orgasm, but what can I say, I’m a lady who pulses for a conveniently easy and contrived plot moment.
Want to Read
May 5, 2018OMG Yaaas I need this rooster filled smut.
I technically didnt say the..penile word :p
I technically didnt say the..penile word :p
May 8, 2018
Bewarned: I have now TM'd letters A-Z of the alphabet and will be going after each one of you plagiarists on Goodreads who dare to write reviews!
I dedicate my five star rating to Faleena Hopkins for her insane decision to tm the word cocky. I mean, come one, the 16th century Brit who invented the word must be turning in his grave.
Also:
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
COCKY! COCKY! COCKY! COCKY! COCKY!
Whew, that felt good to get off my chest!
I dedicate my five star rating to Faleena Hopkins for her insane decision to tm the word cocky. I mean, come one, the 16th century Brit who invented the word must be turning in his grave.
Also:
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
cocky cocky cocky cocky cocky
COCKY! COCKY! COCKY! COCKY! COCKY!
Whew, that felt good to get off my chest!
May 15, 2018
Eeee bobagem, rsrs
Podia ter mais umas páginas, haha
#freecocky
Podia ter mais umas páginas, haha
#freecocky
May 6, 2018
Oh em geee
Ridiculously hilarious!!! This was ... A great little funny moment to lighten up the current *word I shall not use for fear of copyright infringement* drama
Ridiculously hilarious!!! This was ... A great little funny moment to lighten up the current *word I shall not use for fear of copyright infringement* drama
May 6, 2018
Satire Warms My Lady Lasagna
Initially I worried this parody response to the Colossal 'Cocky' Copyright Caper of 2018 would be half-cocked. How pleasant to discover it fully cocked. Possessed all the elements of a great romance: cocky hero, coquettish heroine, a cocker spaniel and cocky- er, cock-like phalicisms. A true testament to trademark testers testing the limits of trademark tenets, and perfectly palpable proof that the pen is mightier. Copyrights that feel so good I don't want to be wrong.
Initially I worried this parody response to the Colossal 'Cocky' Copyright Caper of 2018 would be half-cocked. How pleasant to discover it fully cocked. Possessed all the elements of a great romance: cocky hero, coquettish heroine, a cocker spaniel and cocky- er, cock-like phalicisms. A true testament to trademark testers testing the limits of trademark tenets, and perfectly palpable proof that the pen is mightier. Copyrights that feel so good I don't want to be wrong.
May 7, 2018
Readers unite! All authors matter except FH, an author who should never be named again!
May 6, 2018
Not all heroes wear capes
Sometimes they wear censors instead of capes. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life as I did reading this brilliant book while sipping tea in the shade.
Sometimes they wear censors instead of capes. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life as I did reading this brilliant book while sipping tea in the shade.
Read
May 8, 2018I've no idea what to rate this story. I know it's a parody, and I know it has really massively high rating at the moment but . . I was massively bored throughout. I've seen (film), heard (song), read (book), parodies before - all of them were going for the humor angle. I have to assume this one was as well, but I found nothing funny here.
Mmphs. High ratings for this $3.00 13 page short story. Very difficult for me to get into, though, and . . . good grief it’s like the opposite of funny.
Ah. It’s a parody like a porn parody. Which are not, generally, overly humorous. To make it a film, non-porn, type of parody, the scene in which the man mentions having a large pipe, and if she’d like him to lay it into her, would – instead, have the man say something like ‘be careful, I have a very big pipe’ *three seconds later holds up a large pipe* ‘where do you want me to put it?’ to which the woman would reply ‘my that is a large pipe *caresses pipe* I do not think I’ve seen one this big, long, and thick in many a day. What’s that, where do I want it? Didn’t they tell you? Over here, in my lady garden. *she starts dragging him by the pipe* My lady garden has been dry for ages now. Your pipe will moisten it right up. *leads him to a garden with the title ‘Lady’s Garden’ written above the door*’ etc. etc.
Here? It’s more along the lines of ‘I have a pipe for you *grabs his penis*, I’d like to lay it into pretty girls like you. Interested.’ ‘Oh my yes, my lady garden has been drier than the sahara, but just you saying that, my, I’m so moist for your pipe now, put it into me! Put it into me!’
Right, got carried away.
There's no real reason to write anything more. What happens in the super short story doesn't matter. This is called a 'great erotica', which is clearly meant as another bit of parody, because there's nothing erotic here. And the sex act, while the entire point of the story (really), is described in a 'he inserted himself, cummed, and for some reason I didn't mind he cummed inside me' way. As in, it occurred. And the sex act was mentioned as having occurred. But it was neither funny nor erotic.
Space Balls/Airplane/Scream this ain't. Hell, it's not even up to Scary Movie territory.
Rating: um . . . uh. I'll get back to you on that.
May 8 2018
Mmphs. High ratings for this $3.00 13 page short story. Very difficult for me to get into, though, and . . . good grief it’s like the opposite of funny.
Ah. It’s a parody like a porn parody. Which are not, generally, overly humorous. To make it a film, non-porn, type of parody, the scene in which the man mentions having a large pipe, and if she’d like him to lay it into her, would – instead, have the man say something like ‘be careful, I have a very big pipe’ *three seconds later holds up a large pipe* ‘where do you want me to put it?’ to which the woman would reply ‘my that is a large pipe *caresses pipe* I do not think I’ve seen one this big, long, and thick in many a day. What’s that, where do I want it? Didn’t they tell you? Over here, in my lady garden. *she starts dragging him by the pipe* My lady garden has been dry for ages now. Your pipe will moisten it right up. *leads him to a garden with the title ‘Lady’s Garden’ written above the door*’ etc. etc.
Here? It’s more along the lines of ‘I have a pipe for you *grabs his penis*, I’d like to lay it into pretty girls like you. Interested.’ ‘Oh my yes, my lady garden has been drier than the sahara, but just you saying that, my, I’m so moist for your pipe now, put it into me! Put it into me!’
Right, got carried away.
There's no real reason to write anything more. What happens in the super short story doesn't matter. This is called a 'great erotica', which is clearly meant as another bit of parody, because there's nothing erotic here. And the sex act, while the entire point of the story (really), is described in a 'he inserted himself, cummed, and for some reason I didn't mind he cummed inside me' way. As in, it occurred. And the sex act was mentioned as having occurred. But it was neither funny nor erotic.
Space Balls/Airplane/Scream this ain't. Hell, it's not even up to Scary Movie territory.
Rating: um . . . uh. I'll get back to you on that.
May 8 2018
May 6, 2018
AHAHAHAHAHAHA This is hilarious. Very quick read that satirizes this whole thing: http://www.pajiba.com/think_pieces/co...
If you have the time the hashtag #cockygate on twitter is pretty amusing.
If you have the time the hashtag #cockygate on twitter is pretty amusing.
May 5, 2018
LOL.... hilarious.
May 21, 2018
I'm just disappointed her panties didn't disintegrate into ash at her first sight of the c*cky author.
May 5, 2018
Absolutely cockingly great!
A must read book for anyone who loves cocky men! A cocky of the walk in the park! No one can free the cocky as well as this one. Hope you enjoy this cocky read.
A must read book for anyone who loves cocky men! A cocky of the walk in the park! No one can free the cocky as well as this one. Hope you enjoy this cocky read.
May 6, 2018
I love a cocksure man
I loved this. Couldn't put it down! A real page turned that begged to be finished in one sitting. He was so arrogant!
I loved this. Couldn't put it down! A real page turned that begged to be finished in one sitting. He was so arrogant!
May 6, 2018
Hysterical and absolutely cocky! Bravo!
One of the cockiest stories I've read this week. Well worth it for the laughs. Will recommend far and wide.
One of the cockiest stories I've read this week. Well worth it for the laughs. Will recommend far and wide.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 200 reviews