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Goalless Draws
Half-and-half scarves? VARs? England winning penalty shoot-outs?
Modern football can be baffling. But if you're contemplating throwing it all in for the simpler pleasures of quantum mechanics, don't despair just help is at hand.
In Goalless Draws , David Squires unpicks the modern game with an unmissable selection of his Guardian football cartoons from 2014 to the 2018 World Cup. From the ever-dizzying managerial roundabout to the absurdities of the transfer window, and from the annual tradition of poppygate to the 'stable genius' of José Mourinho, the result is a riotous reminder of all the pitfalls of the modern game, as well as everything that keeps us coming back for more.
Modern football can be baffling. But if you're contemplating throwing it all in for the simpler pleasures of quantum mechanics, don't despair just help is at hand.
In Goalless Draws , David Squires unpicks the modern game with an unmissable selection of his Guardian football cartoons from 2014 to the 2018 World Cup. From the ever-dizzying managerial roundabout to the absurdities of the transfer window, and from the annual tradition of poppygate to the 'stable genius' of José Mourinho, the result is a riotous reminder of all the pitfalls of the modern game, as well as everything that keeps us coming back for more.
224 pages, Paperback
First published October 30, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
October 12, 2021
3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
This was the weakest of the trilogy of comic books I've read by Squires.
This could be partially down to taste as I'm a lover of history, including the history of football and the previous books contained a lot more of it.
I also thought that at times with his political views whether on stereotyping England fans, massively overdoing it when it came to poppies and presenting anyone who is a Tory as the devil incarnate he showed as much willingness to hear a different point of view as those whose political views he opposes. In other words its much like modern politics with people stuck in their own echo chambers.
Yet, despite all of that this was still a good book, even if I didn't agree with it a lot of his political asides were funny and on point, the comic strips were well drawn and written. The style was jaunty, incisive and humorous. I loved the bashing of that turd of a human being John Terry throughout. As a Watford fan I loved the tribute to Graham Taylor.
Just like his previous books the passion Squires has for football shines throughout and makes this book a joyful read for football aficionados like myself.
So yes I preferred his two other books and this book was no means perfect, but yes despite the faults I found with it, it was still a relatively enjoyable read. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 seems fair given that.
This was the weakest of the trilogy of comic books I've read by Squires.
This could be partially down to taste as I'm a lover of history, including the history of football and the previous books contained a lot more of it.
I also thought that at times with his political views whether on stereotyping England fans, massively overdoing it when it came to poppies and presenting anyone who is a Tory as the devil incarnate he showed as much willingness to hear a different point of view as those whose political views he opposes. In other words its much like modern politics with people stuck in their own echo chambers.
Yet, despite all of that this was still a good book, even if I didn't agree with it a lot of his political asides were funny and on point, the comic strips were well drawn and written. The style was jaunty, incisive and humorous. I loved the bashing of that turd of a human being John Terry throughout. As a Watford fan I loved the tribute to Graham Taylor.
Just like his previous books the passion Squires has for football shines throughout and makes this book a joyful read for football aficionados like myself.
So yes I preferred his two other books and this book was no means perfect, but yes despite the faults I found with it, it was still a relatively enjoyable read. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 seems fair given that.
March 23, 2019
This book is a delight but that came as no surprise to me having being a fan of David Squires' cartoons for some years now.
The regular Tuesday fix of funny , insightful and intelligent observations that cover all aspects of football from the sublime to the ridiculous always raise a laugh and a nod in equal measure.
His development of characters (see Jose) as well as his ability to draw attention to the depressing and scandalous in football ( see Premier League & FIFA )make him required reading and the replaying of his cartoons as well as some biographical details make this a terrific book
The regular Tuesday fix of funny , insightful and intelligent observations that cover all aspects of football from the sublime to the ridiculous always raise a laugh and a nod in equal measure.
His development of characters (see Jose) as well as his ability to draw attention to the depressing and scandalous in football ( see Premier League & FIFA )make him required reading and the replaying of his cartoons as well as some biographical details make this a terrific book
August 14, 2020
Consistently funny satire of modern football
Perhaps not for casual followers, as some of the more topical jokes may be struggle to comprehend, but genuinely funny and poignant at times too, especially during his tribute strips.
Perhaps not for casual followers, as some of the more topical jokes may be struggle to comprehend, but genuinely funny and poignant at times too, especially during his tribute strips.
December 23, 2020
Squires' weekly Grauniad cartoons are less impactful (funny/provocative/ingenious) shorn of their context but still great bedtime reading. Sport needs satire as much as anything else in the news, possibly more so.
October 14, 2025
Probably the weakest of Squires' books, 'The Illustrated Football Hall of Fame' is still his absolute best piece of work for me. It is still though frequently laugh out loud funny and Squires overall love for football really does shine through.
January 14, 2019
Fantastic collection of David Squires's cartoons in The Guardian. Treats modern football with a (mostly) lovingly pisstake, which is only right!
February 28, 2019
So many perfectly observed little moments. Superbly funny. Can't recommend enough to anybody interested in football.
July 26, 2019
Great bantz.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews